Finding Family...and Forever?

Chapter Three

“Our first trip to the grocery store, little man.”

Not surprisingly, Emma heard no verbal response from the rear seat where Kyle was happily staring out the window of her midsize SUV. It had arrived from California, and Justin had approved the safety factor. He’d installed the baby’s car seat himself, even though all child-related equipment was in her sphere of expertise.

It was kind of endearing how seriously Dr. Flint took his responsibilities as a father. That was another check mark in her employer’s “pro” column. Not that she was actively looking for “cons,” but it would help. In the few days since she’d become the solo nanny, her attraction to him hadn’t subsided.

She drove down Main Street and turned left into the parking lot of the town’s biggest market, appropriately named The Grocery Store. There were smaller stores for gourmet olive oil, coffee, health foods and specialty items, but this was where Sylvia had suggested she go for the bulk of the shopping. There weren’t too many cars here on this weekday morning and that suited Emma just fine.

She parked and turned off the ignition, then grabbed her purse and the diaper bag before exiting. After rounding the vehicle, she opened the rear passenger door and released the straps on the car seat to lift Kyle out. Propping him on her hip, she walked to the automatic doors with neat rows of shopping carts beside them. She released one then fished the cheerful animal-print seat liner out of the diaper bag and arranged it before lifting the baby in.

“Can’t be too careful,” she told him. “There are enough germs in the world that I can’t protect you from, but this I can do.” She smiled at him and he grinned in response.

“You’re in a good mood, big guy.” His answer was an unintelligible sound that she liked to think of as affirmative.

Pushing the cart, she walked into the store and scanned the layout, preferring to pick up boxed and nonperishable items first. After that, she’d get things like milk and the cream Justin liked in his coffee.

She watched Kyle scratch at a giraffe on the seat cover. “You seem like a naturally cheerful little soul to me. Did you get that disposition from your daddy?”

She walked down the baby-products aisle and grabbed baby wipes and the largest package of disposable diapers, which she set on the very bottom of the cart. After that, she bypassed cleaning products and headed for cereal and canned goods. There was no one around and she chattered away to her little charge as she picked up canned tomatoes for a batch of marinara and some enchilada sauce for a recipe Justin liked.

“So far, your dad seems like a pretty agreeable sort, too. I sure hope so, because if he ever finds out the whole truth, I could be in trouble.”

Rounding the corner to turn down the next aisle, Emma was trying to take in everything around her and not paying attention to where she was going. In her peripheral vision she saw another shopper. Just in time to avoid a cart collision, she pulled up short and automatically apologized. Then she got a good look at the woman she’d almost hit and her heart stopped, skipped once then started to pound. There were very few shoppers in this store and of all the people to run in to...

She was face-to-face with Michelle Crawford, her biological mother.

“I’m really sorry,” she mumbled. “Not watching where I was going.”

“No harm done. You’ve got pretty good reflexes.”

Emma’s mind was racing as fast as her heart. Questions without answers rattled around in her head. Should she say something about their connection? In a place as public as a grocery store? Was there a perfect place to drop the bombshell of who she really was? Getting away as fast as possible seemed like the very best idea.

She started to push her cart past the other woman. “Have a nice day.”

“Hello, Kyle. How are you?”

Emma looked at the baby, who was staring uncertainly, as if he sensed her tension. “How do you know him?”

“The doctor brings him into the diner when Sylvia has the night off.” She looked more closely. “You must be the new nanny.”

And so much more. “That’s right.”

“Welcome to Blackwater Lake. I’m Michelle Crawford.”

“Emma Robbins. Nice to meet you.”

Emma took the hand the other woman held out, half expecting it would be a conduit to her thoughts. She braced for an aha moment that didn’t happen. It would have been too easy. She was simply a stranger, a newcomer to Blackwater Lake.

Finally she pulled herself together and met her mother’s gaze. Emma was looking into brown eyes the same shade as her own. The two of them were the same height and their hair was a similar shade of brunette, although silver streaked the other woman’s.

“I own the Grizzly Bear Diner. With my husband,” she added. Apparently she hadn’t seen Emma there. “Actually, Alan and I were co-owners with Harriet Marlow. She met a man on one of those internet dating sites and they had a phone relationship for a while because he’s from Phoenix. That went well, so he came all the way to Blackwater Lake to meet her in person. They fell in love and she decided Arizona was a good place to retire. So, my husband and I bought her out. She married him and moved away.”

“Wow.” At least someone got their happily-ever-after.

“Listen to me. Blathering on. Is that what kids call TMI?”

Too much information. Emma hadn’t thought it possible that she could laugh but she did. “No. Finding love is always good information. I guess.”

“Sounds like you have a bad story.”

“Could be.”

So far, Michelle hadn’t put her foot in her mouth, so Emma couldn’t say she’d inherited the tendency there. However, she did lean toward blathering in certain situations, although the one in progress didn’t appear to fall into that category because she wasn’t saying much.

“Where are you from, Emma?”

“Southern California.”

Should she go with the partial story she’d told Justin? The truth, even half of it, was easiest to keep straight.

But Michelle continued talking and saved her from having to respond. “Montana weather is really different from where you lived. It gets cold here in the mountains. It’s September and already heading in that direction. Are you ready for snow?”

“I guess we’ll find out.”

“If you need any winter-survival tips, just come over to the diner. Alan and I will be glad to help you out.”

“Thanks. I wouldn’t want to be a bother.” Emma meant that more sincerely than this woman could possibly know.

She waved a hand, dismissing the concern. “It’s no bother. You’ll find people here in Blackwater Lake are really friendly. Willing to help out their neighbors.”

“That’s good to know.” Also reassuring to learn her biological mother seemed to be a really good person.

Kyle chose that moment to join the conversation. Along with the stream of chatter, he started to wriggle in the cart, trying to pull his legs free and climb out.

“Just where do you think you’re going, Mr. Kyle?” She laughed when he held out his arms. “I think that’s my cue to get a move on.”

“Kids do let you know...”

Emma was just starting to get comfortable, to shake off the urge to run. But Kyle came first and he was obviously getting restless. “It’s time to finish up the shopping.”

“You’re not the only one. I’m due at the diner for the lunch rush. Alan will send out a search party if I’m late.”

Because a member of his family had disappeared once? She couldn’t imagine what that must have felt like.

“I’ve got to get this little one home for lunch and a nap.”

“He seems like a good baby.”

“That’s an understatement. He’s practically perfect.”

Michelle studied her. “You seem really fond of him.”

“That’s what Dr. Flint pays me for.”

“It’s more than that.” The other woman rested a palm on the handle of her basket... “The way you look at him is something a paycheck can’t buy.”

Emma shrugged. “I like kids.”

“So do I.”

“But Kyle is especially easy to like.”

“I can see that.”

Emma glanced at her watch and saw that it was pushing noon. “I’m sorry to keep you.”

“It’s all right.” But the sad, wistful expression that slid into her eyes as she looked at the baby said something was not right. The warm friendliness from moments ago faded.

“Is something wrong?”

“Not really. No,” she said firmly, as if she was working hard to make that the truth. “It was nice talking to you, Emma. I hope we’ll see you in the diner.”

“Maybe.”

She watched the other woman walk away and knew this perfect, happy baby had been a reminder of what was taken from her. At first, she’d been bubbly and outgoing, then they started talking about Kyle. That had made her withdraw. Apparently, she’d learned to cope with the loss and had come to terms with it.

Seeing the change convinced Emma that she was right to keep her identity to herself. She was a grown-up now and couldn’t give the woman back the baby girl she used to be. Shaking up Michelle Crawford’s world all over again just didn’t seem like the right thing to do.

* * *

Justin walked up his front steps and realized he was whistling. He didn’t whistle; he’d never whistled. And it had nothing to do with a radio tune looping in his head because he’d been listening to news on the way home from the clinic. He realized it was a symptom of a condition he hadn’t experienced for a long time. It was called happiness.

Part of the reason was seeing his son content. Growing and thriving in this place that couldn’t be more different from Beverly Hills. The other part was about the woman who was making sure his son was happy.

Emma Robbins.

Just thinking her name produced an image of her in his mind, and the vision was enough to make his senses quiver with anticipation. If she had a flaw, he couldn’t see it. Not only was she easy on the eyes, she took care of Kyle as if he were her own. And she was a great cook. Her inclusion into the household had been seamless.

He jogged up the steps to the front door and unlocked it, then stepped inside. “I’m home.”

Justin felt an irrational impulse to add “honey.” Maybe it was time for a mental health professional to join the staff at Mercy Medical Clinic. A shrink would have a field day with him. Diagnosis: unreasonable romantic feelings where there weren’t any because he was obsessed with having an intensely loving and respectful relationship like the one his parents had enjoyed.

His first marriage had been a failure, which meant he’d already screwed up any chance of following in his mom and dad’s footsteps. That wasn’t a failure he wanted to repeat, but it was hard to remember why when he looked at Emma’s mouth.

“We’re in the kitchen,” she called out.

“On my way.”

Just the sound of her voice, which was two parts silk and one part gravel, made him want to start whistling again. He held back as he walked to his home office and put his laptop on the desk. Then he joined them at the dinner table where Emma sat beside Kyle, who was in the high chair.

“Daddy’s home,” she said to the boy.

“Da—” He didn’t look up, too deep in concentration. With tiny thumb and forefinger he picked up a pea and put it in his mouth.

Emma clapped her hands at the accomplishment. “Good job.”

The boy grinned at her praise, and then went after a small piece of cooked carrot.

“I tried to hold off his dinner until you got home,” she explained. “But he was just too hungry.”

“No problem.” The room was filled with tantalizing smells that made him realize Kyle wasn’t the only hungry guy in the family. “What’s for dinner?”

“Rigatoni and meatballs. Salad. Now that you’re here, I’ll cook the pasta.”

“Sounds good. I’ll just visit with this guy while you do that.”

Her only response was a smile that did amazing things to her mouth. One glance was like touching a hot stove and he pulled back, turning his attention to the neutral subject of peas and carrots.

Justin put a few on the plastic tray. “Here you go, buddy.”

“Da—Da—” After slapping both small hands on the vegetables, Kyle rubbed the mushed goo into his hair and over his face.

Justin laughed and said, “Code green emergency.”

Standing at the stove in front of a pot steaming with simmering pasta and another bubbling with marinara and meatballs, Emma glanced over her shoulder. “That means he likes them.”

“I’ll have to take your word for that because wearing food seems counterproductive to the goal.”

“Just wait and see how much he likes my rigatoni and red sauce.”

Justin groaned. “Dear God—”

“Prayer is pointless. Straight upstairs to the bath for him. It’s why messy meals are at night.”

“A good plan.”

“I try.”

She looked over her shoulder to satisfy herself that all was well before sliding her hands into oven mitts. After lifting the boiling pot of pasta, she poured the contents into a colander in the sink and let it drain.

Five minutes later the two of them were eating salad and Kyle was popping pieces of rigatoni into his mouth and smacking his lips.

“I know what you mean, kid. This is really good, Emma.”

“I’m glad you like it.”

For the first time, Justin had a chance to study her. There were shadows in her eyes obscuring the sparkle that he’d come to expect.

“Is everything all right?” he asked.

“Yes.” She looked up quickly, but her gaze didn’t quite meet his. “Why?”

“Just checking.” He cut a meatball and forked half into his mouth. After chewing and swallowing, he asked, “What did you guys do today?”

“Grocery shopping.” Her mouth pulled tight for a second, then she moved lettuce around her plate without eating any.

He wasn’t imagining the tension. “How did that go?”

“Fine.”

Obviously she and Kyle were home safe and sound. The household supplies were replenished, all of which indicated a successful shopping experience. But he couldn’t shake the feeling that something had happened. Justin wanted to know what, but since it didn’t appear to have any connection to his son, he had no right to grill her like raw hamburger. For all he knew, it could be about her love life.

The background check hadn’t turned up a significant other, although that didn’t mean there wasn’t one. He didn’t like the idea of Emma being in love, but that had nothing to do with Kyle and everything to do with a feeling he’d had little experience with.

Jealousy. He wasn’t proud of it, but there was no denying the truth.

Maybe he’d ask a few questions, after all. “So what did you think of Blackwater Lake’s premier grocery store?”

The expression on her face turned wry. “It’s the only grocery store. And it seemed fine.”

“Kyle wasn’t a problem?”

“Not at all.” She cut a rigatoni and speared half with her fork but didn’t eat it. “How was your day?”

This question had come up every night since she’d taken over from Sylvia, but this time it smacked of changing the subject. There was no subtle way to push harder, so he decided to back off. But he couldn’t resist giving her a taste of her own medicine.

“My day was fine,” he said.

“I’m glad.”

After that, they made small talk while he finished dinner. She ate very little, mostly pushing her food around the plate. When Kyle got grouchy and restless, she jumped at the chance to take him upstairs for a bath.

“I’ll clean up the kitchen,” he said.

“No, leave it for me.”

Emma scooped Kyle out of the high chair and held him against her, oblivious to the red sauce and smashed peas that got all over her shirt. He couldn’t help comparing her to the baby’s mother, who wouldn’t touch her own child if he was less than immaculate.

“You do enough,” he insisted. “I don’t mind squaring things away here.”

She looked as if she wanted to protest but nodded and carried Kyle out of the kitchen and upstairs.

Justin stowed the leftovers, rinsed plates and utensils then scrubbed the pots. The busywork occupied his hands, but his mind raced. He thought about the employees at the clinic, body language and bad mood indicating when someone was dealing with a personal problem. It never occurred to him to get involved, but none of the clinic staff lived under his roof and cared for the child he loved more than anything in the world.

He heard sounds from upstairs—splashing, laughter and baby chatter. There was clinic paperwork to do, but he suddenly felt as if he were on the outside looking in. After drying his hands, he went upstairs and found the two of them in the bathroom where water was draining out of the tub.

Emma covered her front with a thick terry-cloth towel then lifted the baby out of the tub and wrapped him up. She carried him to the nursery then diapered him as quickly as possible. All the red-and-green smears were gone, although she still sported them on her clothes. But Kyle was now a clean boy with neatly combed hair.

“That was quick,” Justin said.

“He’s tired.” With quick efficiency, she put the baby in a small, soft blue one-piece sleeper and picked him up. Then she headed for the glider chair in the corner beside the crib. “It was a busy day. You can see the signs when he’s had it and is ready to go to sleep.”

“I’ll rock him tonight. You take a break.”

“That’s not necessary—”

“I insist. Kyle had a busy day, which means yours was even more tiring. Just take some time and relax.”

She tilted her head and studied him. “Are you sure?”

“Positive.”

“Okay.” She walked over and started to hand the baby to Justin, but he let out a wail and clung to her, curling against her with his face buried in her neck. “I’m sorry. Do you want to just grab him?”

“No.” He moved close and put his hand on the small back. “It’s okay, buddy. I know you’re tired.”

And his son wasn’t the only one. That was as good an explanation as any for his own intense reaction to the warmth of Emma’s skin, the scent of her that twisted his senses into a knot of need. The only good thing was that it pushed jealousy out of the number-one position.

“Kyle?” Emma crooned softly. “Daddy’s here. Don’t you want some man time with him?”

As if he understood, the baby lifted his head and held out his arms. Justin took him and said, “That’s my guy. We’re just going to sit in the glider and have a little chat. I’ll tell you a story. I get the feeling that reading would be a bad idea tonight.”

“I think you’re right about that.” Emma headed for the door. “You’re sure you don’t mind?”

“Yeah, I’m sure. I don’t do this enough.”

The baby clinging to her was proof. On the one hand, he was glad Kyle had bonded with her so completely. The flip side of that was that Justin didn’t have the same connection. It was good to have a reminder that he needed to spend more quality time with his son.

Just before walking out of the room, Emma stopped. “Justin?”

“Hmm?” He sat in the chair and settled the baby to his chest, then met her gaze.

“Would you mind if I borrowed your computer in the office? My laptop is acting squirrelly.”

“Of course.” He smiled and started the chair gliding back and forth. Almost instantly Kyle relaxed into him. “And, for the record, squirrelly is not an official technological term.”

The corners of her full lips turned up. “And there’s a good reason for that. I don’t speak fluent tech.”

“Ah.”

“Thanks.”

Her words were light and teasing but didn’t match the expression on her face. It could only be described as tense, distracted. Before he could study her more, she was gone.

He rubbed his hand over his son’s back and moved slowly, lulling him to sleep. “What’s going on with your nanny, Kyle? You obviously are attached to her and I’m glad about that, but there’s something up with her. The good news is that she’s not very good at hiding her feelings.”

In a matter of minutes, his baby boy was sound asleep. He waited a little longer, moving gently to make sure before putting him down in the crib. A short time later, that was accomplished without a peep, and Justin covered him with a baby blanket, then softly kissed the tiny forehead.

“I love you, buddy.” For a few moments he stood over his son, watching the rhythmic rise and fall of the little chest, savoring the peace of knowing his child was safe and happy.

He picked up the baby monitor and soundlessly left the room, going downstairs. Emma was nowhere in sight and he remembered she was using his home computer. After pouring himself a cup of coffee, he walked down the hall and into his office. Emma’s back was to him as she looked at the computer monitor and he moved closer to the desk.

On the screen in big, bold letters was a newspaper headline that read, “KIDNAPPED! BABY GIRL DISAPPEARS. STOLEN FROM A BLACKWATER LAKE FAMILY.”

The date on the article was about twenty-eight years before, and Emma was completely engrossed in reading the information. She hadn’t heard him approach and never looked up.

This appeared to be a private thing, but Justin didn’t give a flying fig if he was overstepping. She had some explaining to do and it was going to happen now.

“Interesting stuff,” he said.

She jumped, then pressed her hand to her chest and swiveled the chair around to look at him. “Good gracious. You startled me.”

“Startling pretty well describes it. And I’m talking about what you’re reading on the computer.” The look on her face told him that she was hiding something. “What’s going on, Emma?”

“If you want to look for another nanny, I completely understand. And that would probably be best since I lied to you.”