The Prodigal's Christmas Reunion

Chapter Four

“We goin’ to Erin’s house?”

In the rearview mirror, Lucas saw Max point out the window. The wide smile on the boy’s face hadn’t been there a few seconds ago.

Max must have met half the population of Clayton since their arrival. The fact that he remembered Erin’s name proved she’d made an impression.

Maybe it hadn’t been such a good idea to bring him along.

An overweight corgi rounded the barn, sounding an alarm as his pickup rolled down the snow-packed driveway.

A moment later, Erin stepped out of the building, her copper hair a bright spot of color against the faded timber siding.

Lucas’s heart stumbled at the sight of her.

There had always been something about Erin Fields. Some elusive quality that went beyond simple chemistry or the way she looked—although she was more beautiful at twenty-five than she’d been at eighteen.

When Lucas returned to Clayton, he knew it would be awkward to see Erin again. Even though they’d parted in anger the night he left, they had a history. Shared memories. The trouble was, Lucas hadn’t been prepared for the emotions tangled inside of those memories.

Erin was a complication he didn’t need. He’d left Clayton once, and after he fulfilled the terms of his grandfather’s will he planned to leave it again.

“Wanna get out, Lucas!” Max tugged on the strap of his booster seat.

“Hold on.” Lucas hopped out of the truck cab and opened the door.

Giggling, Max made a break for it as soon as Lucas unbuckled him. The kid was smart enough to know where to seek sanctuary, too. He made a beeline for Erin, who swung Max up in her arms as if she’d done it a hundred times before and tucked him against the curve of her hip.

“How are you doing today, cowboy?”

“I wanna see the baby horse.” Max pointed to the barn.

“She’s with her momma right now,” Erin said. “And they’re both doing great.”

Lucas figured that last bit was meant for him.

“Max and I had a few errands to run this morning so I thought I’d stop by.” He hadn’t called to let Erin know that he was on his way over. In fact, he’d planned the morning visit because she’d told him the majority of her time was spent at the café. Apparently, however, that didn’t mean today.

As he followed her into the barn, Max chattered on about the “black-and-blue” pancakes Lucas had made for breakfast.

“Cowboys like ’em the best,” he told her matter-of-factly.

“Really? I didn’t know that.” Erin glanced at Lucas. “How do you make, ah, black-and-blue pancakes?”

“It’s easy,” he said ruefully. “The blue comes from the blueberries and the black when you forget to flip them while you’re stirring the orange juice.”

Erin’s laughter swept through the barn…and his defenses. Lucas found it difficult to take his eyes off her.

Not a good sign.

Erin put a finger to her lips before sliding open the stall door. “Shh. Diamond likes it quiet so her baby can sleep.”

“I’ll be quiet,” Max promised, staring up at Erin as if she were a fairy-tale princess come to life. A fairy-tale princess in faded corduroy and denim.

She looked totally at peace in her surroundings, something Lucas had never quite managed to achieve.

Maybe because it didn’t seem to matter that he’d juggled classes and work during the day and studied long into the night to earn his degree in veterinary science, graduating a year earlier than his classmates. No matter how much Lucas accomplished, he always heard his father’s voice tell him it wasn’t enough.

“You have a rebellious nature, Lucas. If you don’t listen to me and do what I say, you’re never going to amount to anything. You’ll disappoint everyone who cares about you and you’ll be alone. Sometimes I think that’s what you want.”

The words had cut deep, embedding themselves in Lucas’s heart. He’d discovered that nothing, not a steady paycheck, not pats on the back nor praise from his boss, could erase the words his father had spoken to him on the night he’d died.

They’d taken root and grown. Crowded out his ability to commit until he’d become the man Vern Clayton had predicted he would be.

“God loves you, Lucas, and He won’t turn His back on you. You’ll never be alone.”

Erin’s voice sounded sweet and clear, as if she’d just spoken the words out loud instead of years ago.

What would his life be like if he’d believed her, not his father?

Something shifted inside of Lucas and he struggled to regain his balance. “If you have something to do, go ahead,” he said curtly. “Max and I won’t be here long.”

That was one promise Lucas would make sure he kept.

“That’s all right.” The wary look in Erin’s eyes had returned. “I’ll introduce Max to Butterscotch and her kittens while you check on Diamond.”

Because she didn’t want to spend any more time in his company than necessary.

Lucas should have felt the same way. So why did he have the overwhelming urge to follow Erin as she led Max away?

Diamond greeted him with a snort as he stepped into the stall.

“Yeah, I know,” Lucas muttered. “The sooner we get this over with, the sooner our lives can get back to normal.”

As normal as life in Clayton would ever get, Lucas silently amended. And with Erin Fields less than fifty feet away, she was out of sight but definitely not out of mind.

The music of her laughter echoed through the barn and Lucas paused to listen until Diamond swung her head around and nipped his sleeve.

He was definitely out of his mind.

Ten minutes later Lucas found Erin and Max in a corner of the barn, playing with a litter of half-grown calico kittens with lime-green eyes. Max ambled over and tugged on his arm until Lucas bent down.

“Haveta go, Lucas,” he whispered.

“We will, buddy. As soon as I put my things away.”

“No.” Max shook his head vigorously. “Haveta go.”

Oh, that kind of go.

Lucas silently calculated how long it would take to get the nearest gas station without exceeding the speed limit. “Five minutes, Bud.”

“But I haveta go now.”

Erin sighed. “I do have indoor plumbing, Lucas.”

“Are you sure?”

Erin didn’t bother to grace that with a response, just closed the barn door and strode toward the house. They followed her inside, where the scent of cinnamon and apples permeated the air.

She pointed to a door at the end of the narrow hall. “Come into the kitchen when you’re done. I have to take a loaf of bread out of the oven.”

Lucas scooped Max up to hasten the trip but as they passed the living room, the boy let out a squeal that practically drilled a hole in Lucas’s left eardrum.

“Look at Erin’s tree!”

Lucas blinked. It wasn’t just a tree. The entire room resembled a Christmas card come to life.

The roundest balsam fir Lucas had ever seen took up an entire corner of the room, decked out in dozens of shimmering ornaments that caught and reflected the twinkling lights woven between the branches. A pine garland braided with gold ribbons ran the length of the fireplace mantle and a hand-carved nativity set graced the coffee table in front of the green corduroy sofa.

Lucas wanted to smack himself upside the head.

Christmas was only three weeks away and until now it hadn’t even appeared on his radar. His mother hadn’t decorated for the holiday. Maybe she didn’t bother anymore. But after what Max had been through…well, he deserved some of this.

The scents and sounds of the holiday.

A home.

Unfortunately, Lucas didn’t feel equipped to give the boy either one of them.

Erin appeared beside him. “I decorate the house the day after Thanksgiving every year. It’s a tradition Mom started.”

“I remember,” Lucas said without thinking.

Erin’s lips parted but no words came out. Maybe because there wasn’t anything to say that would banish the memories that crowded the air whenever they were together.

Max broke the silence. “What’s that?” He pointed at the nativity set, but Lucas shook his head.

“Sorry, buddy. First things first.”

Fortunately, Max accepted Lucas’s decision without a fuss, but there was no stopping him from taking a detour into the living room on their way back. Erin must have known that because she was waiting for them in the hallway.

“Do you mind?” Lucas needed permission before turning a four-year-old boy loose into her Christmas wonderland.

Erin shook her head. “There isn’t anything he can damage.”

“I’m not so sure about that,” Lucas muttered. As well behaved as Max was, he’d managed to turn Lisette’s home upside down in the space of a week. Fingerprints on the walls. A broken dish. Plastic trucks making roads in her potted plants.

Lucas had heard about it all. Which was why they had to find a place of their own. Soon.

His cell phone rang and he glanced at the name on the screen. “It’s Tweed,” he murmured, keeping a watchful eye on Max. “I should probably take it.”

Erin nodded. “Come on, Max. I have a special ornament on the tree. Let’s see if you can find it.” She took the boy by the hand and led him into the living room.

By the time Lucas returned, he found Max snuggled up on Erin’s lap, one of the nativity pieces clutched in his hand.

“Is everything all right?” Erin asked.

“One of Fred McKinney’s steers sliced its leg open and he thinks it’s going to need stitches.”

“What about Max?” Erin frowned. “Is he going with you?”

Lucas didn’t get a chance to answer because Max sat up straight and began to shake his head.

“Nope. I’m stayin’ with Erin.”

“Listen, buddy—”

“Bye, Lucas. See ya later.” Max flashed an enchanting smile that Erin matched with one of her own.

“I guess he’s staying with me.”

Lucas wondered if the preschooler wasn’t smarter than he was. Because looking at Erin, at the warm light in her eyes and the arms wrapped protectively around his adopted son, he was suddenly having a hard time remembering why he’d ever left.

Erin ran a damp dishcloth over the refrigerator door and erased another smudge of green frosting.

The table resembled an artist’s palette and flour dusted the floor, making it look as if her kitchen had been the target of an early snow. By the time Erin pulled the last batch of cookies out of the oven, Max had been coated in a thin layer of frosting and sprinkles, looking a bit like one of the gingerbread men lining the counter.

She couldn’t help but smile at the memory.

Max was one hundred percent boy. Bright. Energetic. Inquisitive. And heartbreakingly sweet.

The trouble was, Erin had already had her heart broken once.

She turned the handle of the faucet with a little more force than was necessary.

Maybe she shouldn’t have been so quick to agree to babysit.

But somehow, Max’s wide, little boy grin had pushed every one of her doubts about keeping her distance from Lucas aside.

She padded down the hallway to the living room, where she’d left Max playing with the nativity set while she straightened up the kitchen. The wooden figurines had fascinated him. Erin had answered a dozen questions about each piece and tried to explain, in a way that a four year old could understand, why there was a baby sleeping inside the miniature barn.

Max’s lack of knowledge about the Christmas story made her heart ache.

As the son of a medical missionary, Lucas knew the Bible inside and out, but he had turned his back on his faith when they were in high school. He’d told Erin that he probably wouldn’t be able to live up to God’s expectations any more than he could his father’s, so why even try?

And even though Lucas had walked away from her, too, Erin had never stopped praying that he would eventually find his way back to God. Over the past few days, she’d felt the burden to pray for him even more.

There’s a reason You brought Lucas back to Clayton, Lord. Show him that You love him and help him let go of the past. Max needs Lucas to be a loving father…and Lucas needs You to show him how.

Peeking around the corner, she spotted the boy curled up on the sofa next to Winston, sound asleep, the ragged tail of his blanket clutched in one small hand.

An image of Lucas, holding the rumpled square of bright green fleece, rose up in her mind. He’d retrieved the blanket from the truck and brought it up to the house to give to Max before he’d left. Erin had been touched by the gesture, but the self-conscious look on Lucas’s face told her that he wasn’t comfortable with his new role.

Erin wasn’t completely comfortable with it, either.

He belongs to me.

Lucas. A father.

How many hours had she spent doodling their names in her notebook during study hall? Planning their wedding? Their family?

Their future.

Until he’d set out on his own and crushed every one of those girlish fantasies. Erin’s faith had been the only thing holding her together during those first few days. And as those days turned into months and the months became years, new dreams eventually began to kindle from the ashes of the ones that had once revolved around Lucas.

If you keep looking back, you might miss something good that’s right there in front of you.

One of her mom’s many pearls of wisdom. And one that Erin had finally taken to heart. It was the reason she kept a smile on her face and her calendar full. Every morning she asked God to teach her contentment—to show her the good that was right in front of her.

And right now, no matter how conflicted her feelings for Lucas Clayton might be, the “good” in front of her was Max.

As Erin leaned down to tuck a corner of the blanket more snuggly around his thin shoulders, she heard a soft knock on the front door.

By the time she reached the doorframe, Lucas already stood in the front hallway. And once again, her traitorous heart stalled at the sight of him.

Lucas had always been good-looking, but the last seven years had wrought subtle changes. At six foot two, he still towered above her, but he was no longer the lanky teenager that Erin remembered. The sun had permanently stained his skin a golden-bronze, a striking contrast to those incredible blue eyes. Clayton blue, Erin had heard someone call them once.

Erin remembered Lucas rolling his eyes when she’d repeated the comment.

“First we get a town named after us and now a color. What’s next? A mountain range? A national monument?”

“There’s nothing wrong with the name Clayton.” Erin had given him a playful swat on the arm.

Lucas had smiled that slow smile that never failed to melt her heart like butter in a hot skillet. “I’m glad you feel that way.”

Erin had been afraid to read too much into the statement. Until Lucas had leaned forward and kissed her.

Her first kiss…

Don’t. Look. Back.

Erin silently repeated the words. Lucas Clayton happened to be part of her past and, thanks to George Sr.’s will, an unexpected part of her present. But he was definitely not a part of her future.

That’s what she needed to remember.

“Lucas.” She flashed a polite smile—the same one that every cowboy who came into the café received with a cup of coffee.

He drove a hand through his hair and snowflakes drifted down like bits of silver confetti. “I’m sorry it’s so late. Is Max ready to leave?”

“He’s sound asleep.”

“Right.” Lucas sighed. “He usually takes a nap around this time. I’ll carry him out to the truck.”

Something in the weary slump of his shoulders tugged at her conscience.

“Would you like to thaw out with a cup of coffee first?” Erin couldn’t believe she’d said the words. Out loud.

And Lucas hesitated just long enough to make her wish she could take back the invitation.

Chapter Five

“Sure.” The husky rumble of Lucas’s voice scraped away another layer from her defenses. “I appreciate it.”

No problem.

Erin wanted to say the words but they got stuck in her throat. She was all too aware of Lucas as he followed her into the kitchen.

He let out a low whistle. “Max must have slept a long time.”

“What makes you say that?”

One eyebrow lifted. “The ten dozen Christmas cookies on your counter?”

“It’s only five dozen.” Erin reached for a clean coffee mug in the dish drainer. “And Max wasn’t sleeping. He helped me.”

“Max helped you?” Lucas repeated in disbelief.

“Technically, we divided the work. I baked the cookies and Max decorated them.”

Lucas’s lips twitched. “I guess the three-eyed snowmen should have given it away.”

Erin filled the mug, trying to keep her wits about her. Which wasn’t easy with Lucas three feet away. Close enough for her to breathe in the scent of leather, crisp mountain air and the hint of soap that was uniquely his.

You can do this. Just pretend you’re at the café and he’s a customer, remember? “Do you take cream or sugar?”

“Just black.”

So far, so good. “How did it go out at the McKinney place?”

Instead of taking a drink, Lucas folded his hands around the steaming mug, as if trying to absorb its warmth. “Ten stitches.”

“Ouch.” Erin winced.

“Don’t feel too bad for the steer,” Lucas said drily. “He only ended up with six of them.”

“Then who…” For the first time, Erin noticed the gauze bandage peeking out from the cuff of Lucas’s sleeve. “You got the other four?”

“That’s why I’m late. Arabella called my cell when I was on my way back and I happened to mention the injury. I’ll know better next time. Jonathan Turner was waiting in the driveway when I got back to the clinic,” Lucas said, his expression rueful. “I heard she was dating a doctor but I didn’t think I’d meet the guy while he was stitching up my hand.”

“What happened?” Erin was almost afraid to ask.

“Apparently he didn’t like my bedside manner—the steer, not Mr. McKinney.” Lucas shrugged. “It comes with the job, you know.”

“I’ll have to take your word for that.”

An awkward silence filled the space between them. Was Lucas remembering how she’d once dreamed of being a veterinarian?

Their eyes met across the table and Lucas set the cup down.

“I should go. Thanks again for keeping an eye on Max.”

Just like that.

Erin’s throat tightened. Apparently Lucas found it no more difficult to walk away from her now than he had all those years ago. Further proof that his feelings hadn’t been as deep as hers.

You weren’t enough to keep him here…

Vincent’s mocking words cycled through her mind and she turned away so Lucas wouldn’t see her expression. In her heart of hearts, Erin might wish for Lucas to still feel something for her, but she didn’t want it to be pity.

Poor Erin Fields. Still hung up on her first crush.

She needed to pray that God would help her let go of the past, too.

“I’ll pack up some cookies for you to take home.” Erin reached for a decorative tin on the second shelf and began to pack it with three-eyed snowmen and pink reindeer, hoping Lucas wouldn’t notice that her hands were shaking.

Which wouldn’t have been as obvious if he’d remained sitting at the table. But no. He got up, closed the distance between them in two short strides and began to help.

“You’ve got green and red sprinkles in your hair.”

“Christmas decorations,” Erin shot back, a little surprised that she could do polite and funny. “I get a little carried away.”

Lucas, however, didn’t appear amused. His eyes narrowed, searching her face as if he were looking for something. Or someone.

What did he see when he looked at her? The girl he’d claimed to have loved? Or one more mistake he’d made?

The air emptied out of Erin’s lungs as his fingers brushed against her hair. “Erin—”

Whatever he’d been about to say was lost in the high-pitched scream that pierced the air.

Not again.

Not now.

Lucas sprinted down the hall, vaguely aware that Erin was right behind him, already apologizing for something he knew wasn’t her fault.

He should have warned her this could happen, but he hadn’t anticipated being gone so long. And the truth was, he never knew when a dark memory would emerge and trigger another one of Max’s episodes.

The social worker had encouraged Lucas to give Max time to adjust to all the changes in his life. He’d gone through a lot for someone of his tender age, but he didn’t have the ability to process what had happened. Reality and imagination had a way of becoming tangled. The result was a waking nightmare for Max and a sleepless night for Lucas.

He rounded the corner and spotted Max bolt upright on the sofa, his small body rigid with terror, eyes wide and riveted on some unseen threat.

Erin’s soft gasp punctuated the air and Lucas remembered how he’d felt the first time he’d seen Max like this. The way he still felt when he saw Max like this.

He glanced at Erin to gauge her reaction. To his astonishment, she didn’t rush over, pick Max up and rattle off a bunch of questions that he couldn’t answer. She stopped in the center of the room, as if she trusted that Lucas knew what to do.

Yeah, right.

When it came to stuff like this, Lucas would have loved to defer to an expert. Unfortunately, there was never one around when you needed one. Max was stuck with a guy who knew more about four-year-old horses than four-year-old boys.

He lowered himself onto the sofa next to Max as casually as if they were going to watch Monday-night football.

“Hey, buddy.” Lucas didn’t expect a response. He’d learned that words couldn’t penetrate the invisible wall that separated them, but talking to Max made him feel better.

He slanted a quick look at Erin. She was watching them but her lips moved in a silent plea.

This was the second time he’d caught her praying. Erin’s faith had been strong as a teenager and it looked as if she’d held on to it over the years.

That made one of them.

Lucas felt a stab of envy that a close relationship with God had always seemed to come so naturally to her. Over the past few months, when he’d tried to get Max to safety, there’d been times he had wanted to call on God but figured he no longer had the right. He’d made a decision a long time ago to make his own way—it seemed a little hypocritical to ask for help when things got tough. Still, it was comforting to think that God might intervene on Max’s behalf because Erin was the one doing the asking.

Ignoring the dull ache from the stitches in his arm, Lucas carefully drew Max against his chest and waited. The only sound in the room came from the crackle and spit of the logs in the fireplace.

As if Max were a frozen statue coming back to life, Lucas gradually felt the thin shoulders relax. The rapid drumbeat of his heart began to even out.

“Lucas?” Max whimpered.

“I’m right here, buddy.”

“It’s dark.”

The fireplace cast plenty of light, but Lucas didn’t argue. He wasn’t sure if Max had always been afraid of the dark or if it had something to do with the fact that when Lucas found him, he’d been locked in a windowless room not much bigger than a closet.

Erin moved across the room, and Lucas assumed she was going to turn on another light. Instead, she reached down and plugged in the Christmas tree. Hundreds of tiny lights, in a rainbow of colors, began to wink in the branches.