Chelyabinsk Snowman

I LOVE DNA AND I ADORE QUANTUM.

Lord GAG

Movie Story

Glory to God,

Glory to Heroes!

Translated by Yandex translator with a neural network. Complaints to the browser administrator.

2023

Chapter One

*

note: SAN SANA IS ABOUT SIX FEET TALL, WITH THICK DREADLOCKS ON HER HEAD AND WEARING COLORFUL SNEAKERS. ONE IS YELLOW, THE OTHER IS BLUE. SHE IS WEARING A HOODIE ON HER BODY, HER LEGS ARE WEARING LEGGINGS, AND A TRENCH COAT AND BACKPACK ARE HANGING ON HANGERS AT THE FRONT DOOR OF THE CLASSROOM.

10th grade students are standing at their seats. The school principal and a young woman, SAN SANA (25), stand at the interactive whiteboard,

director

Hello children, sit down.

All the students sit down at once.

director

I would like to introduce you to your new homeroom teacher and anatomy teacher Alexandra Alexandrovna Bublikova. I would like to note that Alexandra Alexandrovna is already a candidate of biological Sciences at the age of 25. She is a recipient of the Heiken and Blavatnik Prizes for Young Scientists. Please love and don't complain. Well, you guys get to know each other now, and I'm off.

The principal leaves the classroom.

SAN SANA

Well, let's get acquainted, we'll be in the process of studying at the blackboard. I'll tell you right away, in short, so as not to break my tongue, you can safely call me San San. It's like a man's San Sanych, and since I'm a woman, I'm San San. Any questions? You mention the name before the question.

Lena

Lena Ivanova. Why do you have different sneakers?

SAN SANA

In order to save the family budget.

igor

Igor Serov. How's that?

SAN SANA

One is worn out, so should I throw the whole one away?

Egor

Egor Brynza. Are you married?

SAN SANA

And for what purpose are you interested? Do you want to offer?

Egor

Well, I don't know. You're so Awesome.

SAN SANA

Is it okay that I'm good at Jiu-Jitsu? Pink belt. So. We'll make an agreement right away. You can talk to me like I'm the same age. We are almost the same age, but we do not forget to observe subordination. Any other questions?

NIZAMI

Nizami Ali Nurmukhamedov. What kind of music do you listen to?

SAN SANA

A good one. I prefer pygmy tunes. My favorite instrument is the balalaika. My favorite dish is mussels with boiled bacon in garlic sauce.

LUCY

Are you kidding? I'm Lyuska Blinova.

San Sana laughs and sits down at her desk. He raises his knees to his chin and rests his heels on the edge of the chair. He puts his chin on his knees and wraps his arms around his ankles.

SAN SANA

So. I have my own online group (social network advertising). It's called “I love DNA.” You can join. It's closed. I also suggest that you visit the recently opened microbiology circle for the study of the nature of DNA, which will be held every Saturday in this office. The circle has the same name as the group: “I love DNA.” Everyone is required to appear this Saturday. Further as desired. Any other questions? No. Then let's start the lesson.

The bell rings for the end of the lesson. Everyone is laughing.

SAN SANA

You're lucky. Well, see you Saturday, then.

**

The alarm goes off. San Sana is sleeping on the couch. A little time passes and she jumps up from the couch and immediately falls down. He tries to get up and falls down again.

SAN SANA

Damn, my leg muscles have atrophied. Is it a spasm or a cramp? She must have lain down.

He looks at his watch.

SAN SANA

Oh. It's already time for the club to start. Pancake. My fucking leg. And it takes about fifteen minutes to get to school.

San Sana tries to stand up.

SAN SANA

My leg refuses to go to school at all. Hey, leg, stop bullying?

He squeezes it, pinches it, pricks it with a toothpick.

SAN SANA

In my opinion, it lets go.

San Sana gets up and limps into the bathroom. He comes out of the tub normally and quickly. He sits down at the makeup table, takes a set for face makeup and paints his eyelashes. She's running out of paint.

SAN SANA

Well, here we are. I'll have to go with one eye made up. Okay, let them think I'm a hippie.

He runs out of the apartment with one eye painted on, slams the door and goes to the elevator. It opens immediately.

SAN SANA

At least I was lucky with that.

San Sana enters the elevator. The elevator doors are closing.

***

San Sana runs up to the school and looks at the clock.

SAN SANA

Wow? It's almost ten o'clock.

He runs inside. She walks quickly down the hall and sees her entire class hanging out at the closed biology classroom.

Egor

(sarcastically)

You're late, San Sana.

SAN SANA

Really?!

San Sana opens the door and tells them with wild eyes.

SAN SANA

Imagine, everything is awake, but the leg is not! Did you notice the eyes? It's so fashionable in St. Petersburg now.

The students look at her in surprise with a smile, shake their heads and exchange glances.

Lena

Well, well… one painted eye?

LUCY

And different sneakers.

igor

Dreadlocks. But I like it. I actually thought that some kind of grandmother would be appointed.

Everyone goes into the office and sits down in their seats.

SAN SANA

Am I glad?

igor

Yeah. You're cool. You need to stream online. You can rip off a lot of loys at a time.

SAN SANA

I'll take note. Get out your notebooks and pens.

NIZAMI

What's that for?

Egor

Don't we have a circle?

SAN SANA

I'll show you an experiment, and you can show it to your family at home. It's better than smoking pot and drinking beer in basements.

San Sana takes out the necessary materials and equipment for the experiment from the cabinet: a small clean glass, table salt (1 teaspoon), a sample (saliva), pineapple juice, cold alcohol, dishwashing detergent, a drinking tube, voices them and puts them on the table.

SAN SANA

We need: a small clean glass, table salt (1 teaspoon), a sample (saliva), pineapple juice, cold alcohol, dishwashing detergent, drinking straw. Have you recorded it?

NIZAMI

, Yes. And what's next?

SAN SANA

Don't rush love, Nizami. Patience and only patience. Now I'm going to show the extraction of deoxyribonucleic acid or a DNA molecule using ordinary kitchen utensils. I will conduct the experiment with the help of my saliva and yesterday's pineapple juice available.

San Sana expectorates ostentatiously and spits a lot of saliva into a small glass. Everyone winces. Adds a few drops of dishwashing detergent. Then he adds a spoonful of pineapple juice to the glass. Then he adds a pinch of table salt. It mixes it thoroughly. Then he puts the tube into a bottle of alcohol, closes the upper end of the tube, pulls it out and inserts it into the glass. He releases the upper end and pulls it out again. He puts the straw on the table.

SAN SANA

Write it down. Add the saliva to the glass. A few drops of dishwashing detergent. Then add a spoonful of pineapple juice to get rid of all the cellular proteins. Then add a pinch of table salt. Mix thoroughly. Then add the alcohol and let it settle over the mixture.

San Sana continues and raises the glass to her eye level.

SAN SANA

You can do this with a drinking straw, using it as a pipette so as not to pour too much alcohol. After a while, you'll get a whitish slime-like material. This is DNA. You can see the resulting material under a microscope.

San Sana scoops up some of the sediment with an ice cream spatula and smears it on the viewing glass of the microscope. He inserts it into the slide table and looks into the eyepiece. Adjusts the contrast with the revolver wheel.

SAN SANA

Class. Go check out the stream.

The students get up from their desks, go to the table and gather around the microscope, take turns looking and being surprised. DNA molecules are visible. They come back. The latter looks and goes to his place.

SAN SANA

Is it interesting?

Everyone smiles and nods their heads.

igor

Cool.

SAN SANA

It will be even more interesting if you want to attend this club. Now let's take a break.

San Sana removes objects from the table into the closet and notices suspicious activity in the classroom. All the guys, satisfied and happy, get up from their seats and go to the back desk near the lockers and form a crowd. They come back satisfied one at a time, with a Snickers bar and a can of Coke. San Sana goes to find out what's going on there. And he sees two students selling chocolates and cans of Coke.

SAN SANA

(surprised)

What kind of "Sofa Shop" is this?

I'm sitting at my desk. Start-up.

ABRAM

Well, what's the big deal? The vending machine on the ground floor costs 10 rubles more than ours. And we bought a box of chocolates with a bag of soda at the wholesale market. And it's even cheaper.

It's good for Us, and it's beneficial for others.

IZYA AND ABRAM

Do you want us to take you in?

San Sana snorts and silently goes to her desk. Removes the remainder after the first experiment. The students take their seats and have a snack.

SAN SANA

Have you eaten everything? Then let's continue. By the way, those who wish can leave the meeting.

igor

Well no.

Egor

Cool.

Lena

Go ahead.

SAN SANA

The next experiment will be “Growing bacteria". Microorganisms, including bacteria and yeast, are the most common pathogens present everywhere around us. The preparation of nutrient media for them can be easily carried out at home. Watch what I take out and write it down.

San Sana takes out homemade Petri dishes, other materials and tools from the cupboard: Gelatin, a cube of beef broth, Sugar (2 teaspoons), 1 cup of boiled water, Gloves, a cup, a small lid. He puts it on the table.

SAN SANA

Add all the ingredients to the bowl. Mix well until everything is dissolved. Now transfer the solution to any small dish, cover it with a lid to avoid external contamination. Place the dishes with the solution in the refrigerator overnight. Use a cotton pad to take a sample of the solution. Apply a swab to a petri dish, close it, and let it grow for a few days. The white colonies will be visible under a microscope. So you will bring the results to the next elective. That's all for today. If anyone is interested, I'm waiting for you next Saturday. And the homework will be the cultivation of microorganisms.

NIZAMI

AND the DNA?

SAN SANA

Optional. If you decide to look at your DNA, then cook it on Friday and put it in the refrigerator.

The students disperse. San Sana closes the door and goes out too.

****

San Sana wakes up and looks at the clock with an arrow. The second hand is still in place. The clock is not ticking. San Sana takes them and shakes them.

SAN SANA

Are they worth it? The battery is dead.

The big hands show seven thirty.

SAN SAN

Wow. It's already six thirty. And in the morning or in the evening?

She looks out the window, it's light outside.

SAN SAN (PROD.

) God takes care of the blessed one.

San Sana jumps off the bed and runs to the bathroom. He dresses like a soldier right on the way out and puts his backpack on his back. He hurries out of the apartment and goes to the elevator. The elevator is not working. She kicks the elevator door lightly with the toe of her sneaker.

SAN SANA

Goat bandura.

San Sana runs down the stairs. He runs out into the street.

He runs up to the school and sees that the school yard is empty.

SAN SAN

Damn it. Am I really too late?

He grabs the handle and tries to open the front door. The guard Sidorych opens the door.

SIDORYCH

Hello Alexandra. It's evening now and there's no one at school.

SAN SAN

Right? And this?! I came to take the notebooks home for checking.

SIDORYCH

You are welcome. Come on in." I haven't set the alarm yet.

The guard lets her in. San Sana leaves school with a bag of notebooks.

*****

On the way, San Sana goes to the store, buys groceries. He meets his friend Masha.

MASHA

OH?! Sasha?

SAN SANA

(rejoicing)

Masha! By what fates?

Masha

Just passing through. I'm getting married.

SAN SANA

Oh well?! And for whom?

Masha

You don't know him. He's not one of ours.

SAN SANA

What about Vitalka?

Masha

And Vitalka. He flew to Mars.

SAN SANA

Well, are you happy?

Masha

I don't know. But there are no problems with money at all. We recently arrived from Turkey.

SAN SANA

It's clear. Pinocchio snatched it off.

Masha

Something like that. What about you? Are you inventing everything? She's probably already a doctor.

SAN SANA

What do you mean?

MASHA

Well. You were a candidate, weren't you?!

SAN SANA

Ah! That's what you mean. Not yet. In development. There's not enough time.

A guy comes up with the goods and puts them in the grocery cart.

MASHA

is here. Get to know each other. This is Sasha, and this is my husband Olaf.

SAN SANA

Very pleasant.

OLAF

And I am very pleased. Well, Mary, shall we go? Otherwise we'll be late for the airport.

SAN SANA

Are you flying away again?

Masha

Yeah. To Beijing.

Masha and Olaf go to the cash registers.

Masha

Sasha. Do you have the same number? I'll call you. We'll meet sometime. Let's take a break.

San Sana smiles and nods her head. He goes to the shelves and continues to select the product for purchase.

Chapter two

*

At home, she puts grocery bags in the refrigerator in the kitchen. She turns on soothing music in the room and changes her clothes. He goes to the bathroom and takes a shower. Dries dreadlocks with a hair dryer. He gets out of the bathroom and goes to the kitchen. He takes the tea and goes into the room.

He sits down in a rocking chair. He drinks tea, swings and rests a little. He finishes his tea and abruptly gets up from his chair.

SAN SANA

Well, that's it. It's time to check the notebooks you brought.

San Sana takes the mug to the kitchen.

SAN SANA

And where are they?

San Sana walks into the room and looks around it. He goes to the wardrobe and looks in it.

SAN SANA

Not here. Maybe in the bedside table?

He goes to the bedside table and looks in it.

SAN SANA

Not here either. But where are they? A. In the dressing room.

San Sana goes to the dressing table and opens the shelves.

SAN SANA

Not here either.

San Sana sits on the dressing room chair and looks around the room again.

SAN SANA

Where did they go?

He looks under the sofa. Then he lifts the seat and rummages through the bedclothes.

SAN SANA

Not here either. Or maybe she left it in the basket?

San Sana gets dressed in a hurry and runs out of the apartment.

**

He goes into the store and looks at the baskets. The cashier looks at her and counts the customer.

cashier

Are you looking for something?

SAN SANA

Yes. Did I leave a bag of notebooks?

cashier

Well no. I would have noticed. Although maybe the loader saw it? Ivan. You were packing carts. Did you see anything?

LOADER (Off-screen)

No.

The cashier shrugs his shoulders. He turns to the customer.

cashier

That'll be one thousand and fifty rubles.

San Sana leaves the store.

SAN SANA (Behind the scenes)

Maybe I was crazy and just wanted to take them home, but I actually left them at school? Go to school? It's so late. The guard must have already set the whole building on alarm. Okay, I'll check it out at school tomorrow. I'll go early. Yes. By the way, we need to buy batteries for the watch.

San Sana goes back to the store.

Flat. Night. San Sana sleeps very badly, tossing and turning. Someone strangles her at night. She jumps up in the middle of the night and sits down in horror in an empty apartment.

SAN SANA

But where are they? At school.

He falls asleep while sitting.

***

San Sana runs to school the next day earlier than usual. In the office, he checks all the cabinets and shelves.

SAN SANA

They're not here. Maybe in the staff room?

San Sana leaves the classroom and goes to the staff room. He comes in and starts looking there.

HEAD TEACHER

Have you lost something?

SAN SANA

Students' notebooks. No one saw the notebooks.

CHEMISTRY TEACHER

Well no.

MATH TEACHER

Or maybe you forgot them at home?

There IS No SAN SAN. I searched everything at home. We'll have to postpone working on mistakes with the students in the class whose notebooks have mysteriously disappeared.

PHYSICAL EDUCATION TEACHER

And what class?

SAN SANA

My.

HEAD TEACHER

I think the students stole the notebooks.

SAN SANA

Why did you decide that?

HEAD TEACHER

Well, they didn't prepare for the test and wrote it poorly.

CHEMISTRY TEACHER

I've had this happen before. Have the test paper rewritten again.

SAN SANA

That's what I'll do.

San Sana walks towards the exit of the staff room.

****

Igor's apartment. In the kitchen, Igor, his mother, grandmother, sister Lisa, and father are sitting at the table having lunch. There are groceries on the table, and a liter jar of tomatoes, and a bottle of ketchup.

Lisa'S FATHER. Give me the ketchup.

LISA

(indignantly)

What about me right away. Let him go, Igor serves.

father

(strictly)

Hush now. The little one.

Lisa takes the bottle and throws it across the table towards her father. The father catches it and puts it in his dish.

mother

(strictly)

Lisa. Calm down. Who did she tell?

grandmother

(smiling)

Oh, how delicious. Igor, you have golden hands. Not every girl can cook this.

igor

(shyly)

Come on.

mother

And where did you get the recipe?

igor

In the Internet.

FATHER

is A Wife. Can you put your hand in a jar and get me this tomato?

Igor's mother gets a tomato without any problems.

mother

Isn't it coming through for you?

father

It fits, of course, it's just that my hand gets dirty.

(To Igor)

How are you doing at school?

igor

Normal. But I prefer the "I love DNA" circle.

father

What kind of circle? Tell me about it."

igor

Microbiology club. Our class is leading.

Liza

Is this the one with African dreadlocks, different sneakers, and a PhD?

igor

Absolutely right. A wonderful, smart and funny woman. However, with the bells and whistles.

father

What do you mean?

igor

Yes, she was an hour late for the first elective of the club and came with one eye painted.

father

Seriously?

igor

He says it's the fashion in St. Petersburg. She thinks we haven't realized that she's just flirting with us.

mother

Is she single?

igor

No. She's all about flying. She sowed our notebooks with lab work and claims that we may have stolen them.

Liza

Did you steal this?

igor

No, it's not. I personally did not take it. I don't see the point.

father

So what?

igor

I had to write again. Some people copied from the cheat sheets and then threw out their cheat sheets. And here's such a dirty trick.

grandmother

But I hope you were writing from the head?

igor

Yeah. Would you like me to show you one of the experiments she showed us in the elective?

father

Won't anything explode?

igor

No. Anyway, I cooked in my room. So please come to me.

mother

Let's have lunch first.

*****

Igor's whole family is sitting on the couch in his room. Igor is standing at the table. There are materials on the table: white flowers, ink, a glass and water.

igor

The experiment is called “changing the color of flowers.” I have the necessary materials on my desk: flowers, preferably with white or light petals, ink, a glass and water.

Igor pours water into a glass, then pours dark ink into it. He stirs the contents in a glass. He places the flower stem in a glass with water and dark ink. After a while, everyone sees that the petals slowly acquire colored veins of the same color.

igor

(solemnly)

Voila!

father

(surprised)

How is that?

GRANDMA

(rejoicing)

Amazing and incomprehensible.

Everyone except Lisa claps their hands.

mother

(admiring)

You're just a Kio. The illusionist! Bravo! Son.

Liza

(frowning)

But for me, it's complete bullshit.

mother

(strictly)

Lisa.

igor

Plants have a water-conducting tissue system. It's called xylem.

father

It must be remembered. Come on, Liza, write it down.

Liza

Something else.

Lisa gets up and walks out of the room.

LISA

, write it yourself.

MOTHER

Lisa. Come on, sit down.

Everyone stops applauding. Lisa stops, turns around like a soldier, and marches to the couch. He turns around again and falls on the sofa with his back.

mother

Stop making faces.

igor

And so. Xylem distributes water and some nutrients to all parts of the plant. Using tinted water, we see this system in action. That's it?!

His parents cheerfully applaud him again.

father

Well, son. You will be great. And if you pour vodka instead of water?

mother

The flowers will dance.

The mother gets up and leaves the room.

Chapter Three

*

At the security post with video surveillance monitors at the entrance, security guard Sidorych is sitting and looking at the screens. Abram and Izya approach him.

SIDORYCH

(menacingly)

What do you need?

IZYA

(sycophantically)

Hi. Are we watching a movie? There is a case.

SIDORYCH

The prosecutor has a case. What do you need?

ABRAM

Are there cameras in all classrooms?

SIDORYCH

(suspiciously)

And for what purpose are you interested?

IZZY

, just like that. You need one video.

SIDORYCH

We are not allowed to talk about tracking points.

IZYA

I'm not talking about that.

ABRAM

We'll give you some dough. 500 rubles.

SIDORYCH

For what?

IZYA

You can download the video file for us.

SIDORYCH

If they find out, they'll fire me.

IZYA

No one will know.

ABRAM

is 700 rubles.

SIDORYCH

Or they can put you in jail.

I'm fine.

1000 rubles.

SIDORYCH

is Three.

IZYA AND ABRAM