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He hated looking so helpless, feeling so useless. A shell of the former man.
“Mom, Mitch wants to see Leo.”
“He’s still asleep,” Samantha said.
“We don’t plan on waking him.” Zoe rounded the front of the car to join them. She glanced at Mitch. “Ready?”
In response to her question, he took a halting step forward, then another. She turned and led him into the house, followed by Samantha. Thankfully, her expression had changed.
They entered the living room of the roomy ranch-style house. He’d spent most of his high school years here, visiting Zoe, but also putting some distance between him and his father. The memories were a bit fuzzy right now, but he would never forget that this was where Samantha encouraged his gift. Where he’d taken the first steps in realizing a career that had ultimately taken him away from his family and friends.
Your choice.
Yes, it had been. In pursuit of freedom and adventure, his life had taken a dramatic turn. The ultimate price to pay: nearly losing his life.
“This way,” Zoe said, leading him down the dim hallway. She pushed open a slightly ajar door and disappeared inside the room. Mitch hesitated. Once he went inside, viewed his son for the first time in person, his life would change forever.
Zoe stuck her head back out into the hallway. “Mitch?”
“Give me a moment.”
Annoyance crossed her face, then she was gone again. His world suddenly tilted out of control. He braced a hand against the wall, tried to wrap his mind around the fact that he was a father. Did he have it in him to act like one?
Even when they were trying to get pregnant, the thought of taking care of another life had frequently crossed his mind. He hadn’t taken the idea lightly, no matter what Zoe thought. But unlike most fathers, he hadn’t had nine months to prepare for his role. In his case, he’d had less than an hour to get ready.
Once the panic subsided, he hesitantly stepped through the doorway. A small lamp set on a dresser sent soft light over the room. The scent of... Was that baby powder? In the corner sat a shelf filled with books. Plastic toys littered the rug in front of it.
Zoe stood beside a crib. From across the room, he could see her leaning over. Attending to the baby? She looked at him, the fierce love etched on her face stopping him from moving. He’d always thought Zoe was pretty, but now, she took his breath away. Becoming a mother had transformed her. She was no longer just his high school sweetheart. Before him stood a full-grown woman, a mother, who had become more beautiful in the time he’d been away.
“Come see your son.”
Leaning on the cane, he made his legs move forward. When he came to the side of the crib, he gazed down at the sleeping boy, who had one thumb brushed up against his lips. Mitch’s breath caught and completely left him for a moment.
Zoe moved to give him better access. He stepped closer. Leo’s chest rose as he inhaled and exhaled. Mitch stared, then began taking inventory, like he imagined a father would upon the delivery of his child. Ten fingers and toes. Light colored hair, standing on end. Chunky little legs. Rosy skin. Spiky eyelashes caressing his cheek.
A longing, unlike any he’d ever experienced before in his life, pummeled him. This was his son. His flesh and blood. A miracle.
“He’s so small.”
Zoe fingered the downy soft hair sprouting from his head. “He’s actually at the correct weight percentile, according to his pediatrician.”
“So he’s healthy?”
“Ear infections have plagued him since he first came home, but the pediatrician is on top of the problem. He eats well. Babbles up a storm.”
Mitch tilted his head to get a different view. “What color are his eyes?”
“Blue.”
He swallowed against the sudden thickness in his throat.
With halting fingers, he reached out. He barely touched his son’s arm, so soft and plump, then moved to Leo’s face where the tips of his fingers brushed his cheek. When Leo shifted in his sleep, Mitch jerked his hand back to his side.
“He’s okay,” Zoe said in a low tone. “Just resettling.”
Right. People moved in their sleep. Even babies.
She gently pushed Leo’s thumb from the proximity of his mouth. “He never took to a pacifier, so I have to keep his thumb away from his mouth.”
Mitch didn’t know what to say. Taking care of a baby was completely foreign to him.
“I’ll give you a few minutes.” She pointed to a white radio-looking thing on the dresser. “The monitor is on. Call if you need anything.”
As she walked away, Mitch gazed down at his son. His chest swelled. Was this what pride felt like?
“Hey, buddy,” he whispered.
Leo puffed out a breath, but instead of panicking at the child’s response, Mitch smiled. The longer he stood over the crib, the more a sense of protectiveness seized him. Now that the initial shock had worn off, he desperately wanted to be a part of this child’s life. No matter that he and Zoe had made a mess of their marriage, he was thankful they had produced this miracle despite things not working out.
For some reason, thoughts of baseball crossed Mitch’s mind. Little League. Rooting for his son as his short legs ran the bases. Wait, was he walking on his own yet? Had he taken his first steps? He’d have to ask Zoe. Before long, he’d tell his son stories about all the cool places he’d traveled to in the course of his career. Eventually, he would take Leo along. Include him in the adventures. Silently, Mitch vowed to be present in his son’s life. He would never be like his own father, distant and disapproving.
Yes, he’d continue to travel for his job, but he’d never close himself off like his own father. So rigid in his ways, he’d tried to squelch Mitch’s spirit.
As he got older and increasingly curious, Mitch would often sneak off whatever military base they were on and explore the local sights and, more often than not, take off on thrilling adventures. His father never approved. Luckily, when his dad retired, he’d brought the family to Cypress Pointe, although he’d expected his son to carry on the generations-old tradition of joining the army.
Ironically, it had been all those years growing up traveling from base to base that had given Mitch a severe case of wanderlust. So, he would show Leo the world. Give him options. Nurture him in a way his own father never had.
The door opened behind him. Zoe’s vanilla and floral fragrance reached him before she did. She took her place beside him again.
“Why Leo? His name, I mean,” he asked after a prolonged moment of watching their son together.
Zoe crossed the room to a basket of stuffed animals. Removing a lion from the top, she returned to the crib and held it out for him to see.
“Do you remember him?”
Mitch stared at the small animal with the fluffy mane. “No.”
“We were in high school. My mother had missed my debate team competition and I was really upset. A few weeks later, a carnival came to town and you made me go. To cheer me up, you said.” A small smile curved her lips as she brushed her fingers over the lion’s mane. “You won this at one of the game booths. Told me not to be sad or scared because Leo the lion would look out for me.”
Her misty gaze met his. “I found the lion when I was packing up our belongings at the old house to move here. I held on to this little guy and cried, over the memories we’d shared and the reality that I would never see you again.” She took a stuttering breath. “When Leo was born, I wanted to give him a strong name. I thought he needed it since he’d never know his father.”
Mitch swallowed hard.
He’d missed so much.
And on the tail of that revelation, anger at the events that had kept him from returning home simmered, but he held it in check. He’d deal with it later, when he could sort through his emotions and vent without giving Zoe reason to keep him at arm’s length.
“So, what do you think?” she asked.
“I think I can’t wait to get to know him.”
The frown again.
“What?”
“I just can’t picture you staying in Cypress Pointe long enough for any quality time with Leo.”
“My priorities will change.”
“Really?” Disbelief tinged her voice. “For how long?”
He turned, bit back the impatient retort he wanted to hurl at her. “For as long as it takes. He’s my child, too, Zoe.”
A mulish expression he recognized as trouble crossed her face. “We’ll see.”
“Do you plan on giving me a hard time about my place in Leo’s life?”
“No. But I won’t let you hurt him when you revert back to form and leave for weeks at a time. I won’t explain why his daddy isn’t here for the milestones in his life.”
Did she have that little faith in him that she thought he would abandon their son? The steel in her tone reflected exactly that. She had no faith that he would put his son above his career.
“I’ll be here.”
She snorted. “Right. Like every other time you made that promise, only to break your word.”
“This is different.”
Her brow rose.
Yes, he had let Zoe down. She’d never understood his need for adventure to begin with, but she had accepted it as part of the man she loved. However, once she’d wanted a baby, things had changed. With each miscarriage, he’d wanted out of the pressure and the expectations he couldn’t deliver on. She’d never stopped to consider how the loss of each baby took a piece of his soul, and because she was suffering, he’d never made his sorrow an issue.
But now that Leo was here, she would never stand in the way of his being a father. He’d make sure of it.
Leo rustled again.
“He senses the tension between us.” Zoe adjusted the blanket over him. “Let’s leave him be.”
Mitch gazed at his son, then at his wife. “This conversation isn’t finished.”
* * *
ZOE CLOSED THE door behind her, waiting for the soft snick. Mitch had hobbled to the living room ahead of her. She took this time alone to center her thoughts and tamp down her frustration.
So Mitch was going to march into their lives and expect nothing had changed? That he had a right to make decisions affecting her son?
Yes. Her son. She’d given birth to him. Raised him. Protected him. Worried over every aspect of his life. Even if Mitch hadn’t been injured, she didn’t believe he’d have stuck around to help her. His track record spoke volumes.
Squaring her shoulders, she joined Mitch. He paced the room, his agitation evidenced by his clumsy gait. When he passed her, she saw that his face had gone even more pale, if that was possible. He rubbed his temple with his free hand while he leaned heavily on his cane with the other.
“Mitch, there’s nothing to discuss.”
“Really? I beg to differ.”
“You haven’t been a part of his life.”
“Not on purpose,” he said, his words clipped and angry.
She glimpsed the hurt on his face but held firm to her conviction. “I have to look out for his best interests.”
“And that includes keeping him from his father?” He made a turn, stumbled and reached out with the arm she noticed he kept tucked close to his body. He leaned over the couch to steady himself on the armrest. A small gasp escaped her, but his sharp look kept her from rushing to his aid.
“You aren’t in any condition to take care of a child.”
“Not now, but this condition won’t last forever.”
Maybe she should have felt sorry for his plight, but she wasn’t willing to barter the welfare of her child over her sympathy for a man who had left her too many times to count. Did that make her cold? No. It made her a mother.
“So you’re going to recover here? In Cypress Pointe?”
“Yes.” He tried to walk again, but ended up sinking into a nearby chair. His cheeks were red from exertion now. Zoe knew he was a proud man and pointing out his physical limitations would only make the situation more tense.
“And once the recovery is complete?”
He dropped his head into his hand. Remained silent for too long.
“Mitch? Your recovery?”
His head shot up and he winced. “What?”
“I asked about staying in Cypress Pointe while you recover.”
“Yes...that’s...ah...the plan.”
Unease slithered over her. “Are you okay?”
He rubbed his head. “Don’t worry about it.”
“Don’t worry? Mitch, you want to be part of Leo’s life. I have to look out for him.”
“And you honestly think I’d hurt him?”
“Not intentionally.”
He grimaced.
“Look at it from my point of view, Mitch. You aren’t yourself.”
“So you’d keep him away from me?”
“No, but I certainly can’t leave you alone with him until you’re stronger. He’s a bundle of energy right now.”
He opened his mouth, presumably to argue the point, then stopped.
She took a seat on the couch near him. Gentled her tone. “Mitch, I don’t mean to come across as the bad guy, but Leo is my responsibility. It’s not just you and me anymore. Our actions matter now.”
“I’m not going to make demands.”
“Sure feels like it.”
He blew out a breath. “We need to calmly hammer out some sort of...agreement, concerning our son.”
A shiver ran over her. She knew Mitch enough to know that when he set his mind on something, he didn’t give up. Mitch might be okay putting himself in harm’s way, but she never would be. And what if Mitch wanted to take Leo out of Cypress Pointe? She couldn’t entertain the idea.
“I don’t want us to be on opposite sides here, but things are different now,” she told him. “This is nothing like our old life.”
The defeat in his dark brown eyes nearly undid her, but she remained strong. For her son’s sake.
“This is a change of topic,” she said, “but do you have a doctor here?”
“I have a referral. I need to make an appointment.”
“That’s a step.” She hesitated. “We aren’t together, but I’ll try to work something out with you concerning Leo.”
The pain in his gaze made her pause. Emotional or physical? She couldn’t tell.
His shoulders sagged. Resignation seemed to deflate him. “Please call Wyatt and ask him to come pick me up. I’ll wait outside until he gets here.”
She rummaged through her purse to find her cell phone. Before she found Wyatt’s number and dialed it, Mitch said, “I will be a part of my son’s life, Zoe.”
His quiet, firm conviction made her fear that Mitch’s return from the dead could be the end of the quiet, stable life she’d built for herself and Leo.
Chapter Four
EARLY THE NEXT MORNING, Zoe paced the living room while Bethany sat on the floor with Leo, feeding him little round cereal oats. She’d turned it into a game, which Leo loved, if his bursts of laugher were any indication.
“Mitch is serious about being present in Leo’s life,” Zoe said.
“Are you surprised?” Bethany placed another O in Leo’s hand and clapped when he clumsily tossed it in his mouth. “This is a big shock for him.”
“Yes, but he’s never wanted to hang around Cypress Pointe before.” Which, when translated by Zoe, meant he hadn’t wanted to hang around her.
“He’s never had a child before.”
Zoe ran a hand through her short hair. “I can’t believe this whole thing is happening.”
“You’re going to have to deal with this whether you like it or not.”
“I know.” Zoe stopped and sank down to the carpet to join them, smoothing a lick of hair standing straight up on her son’s head. “I’m just not entirely sure how I feel about the sudden change.”
“Since I’m usually the outspoken one, I’m gonna say it.” Bethany placed a hand on Zoe’s arm. “No matter what happens with Mitch, you can handle it. When you set your mind on a task, you can accomplish anything. I’ve been telling you this our entire lives. Why do you think I pushed you to run for mayor?”
“Accomplish anything? I barely leave Cypress Pointe.”
“It’s not that you can’t. More like you won’t.”
Zoe absently rubbed the scar on her arm. The physical reminder of why she worked hard to make Cypress Pointe a safe place to live. “Why would you say that?”
“Because things in life happen.” Bethany nodded at Leo. “You have to be prepared.”
“I’m always prepared.”
“Okay, that may be true.” Bethany ran a finger over Leo’s hair. Nodded her head at Zoe’s arm. “But you have to stop blaming yourself.”
“Who else is there? It was my idea to go shopping. I ran us straight into danger.”
“It seemed like a good idea at the time. And in the end, we were safe.”
“Tell that to your parents.”
Bethany frowned. “It’s time they stopped treating you like some kind of evil person. You didn’t force me to go along with you the day of the robbery.”
Zoe could barely look at her friend. “No, but it still haunts me to this day.”
“Bad things happen everywhere, Zoe. We witnessed a bank robbery sixteen years ago. We survived.” Bethany sent her a probing look. “You’re going to have to deal with the phobia at some point in your life.”
Yes, Zoe knew that. She just didn’t want to face the truth.
“There’s going to come a time when Leo is going to want or need to leave Cypress Pointe. What will you do then?”
Zoe didn’t have an answer.
“It’s time, Zoe.”
She blew out a breath. Her doubts lingered.
“You’ll figure this out, my friend, because this little guy is going to force you to.” Bethany chucked Leo’s chin and cooed in baby speak. “Won’t she, buddy?”
Zoe laughed at her friend’s ease at doling out serious adult advice, then switching to sweet baby talk.
Bethany glanced up. “Face it, Zoe. Leo will get you to confront your fears in ways Mitch never could.”
In her eyes, Mitch had been in such a hurry to get away from her. Or had he just gotten tired of her refusing to do anything about those fears? It had been easier to blame him than consider she didn’t have the backbone to stare her demons straight in the face.
“When did you become so smart?”
“Since you gave me this beautiful godson. I get to spoil him and give him back to you.”
“Thanks so much.”
“You’re welcome.”
The evidence of spoiling lay scattered all over the carpet: toys in all shapes and sizes and brightly colored clothing. Bethany had gone out of her way to bring lots of goodies for Leo.
“You might be looking at this from the wrong angle,” Bethany said as she handed Leo a block.
“Do tell.”
“Embrace that Mitch is back. Help him recover. It’s not like that isn’t in your wheelhouse. You help everyone.”
“In my position as mayor.”
“Please, you’ve been coming up with ways to better people’s lives since we were kids. Always planning fund-raisers or donating time and energy to other organizations. Remember our first lemonade stand?”
Zoe chuckled. “If I recall, all the proceeds went to the animal shelter.”
“Sounds right. We were in our save-the-mutt phase.”
“You always went along with me.”
“Because you always had a compelling argument to do good. Who could resist?”
“We did make a good team.”
“Until Mitch came on the scene.”
Zoe held back a smile. More like Mitch had made a grand entrance into her life.
She’d been at the park, checking off names for a 5K run to support cancer research. The runners had lined up at the start line when all of a sudden a guy with long shaggy hair came careening through the crowd on a skateboard. He barely missed the runners, hopping off the board right in front of her table, stomping his foot on the edge to make the board fly up into his hands. With an unrepentant grin, he asked if it was too late to sign up. She was speechless, but had nodded. After the race, he sought her out and their relationship developed from there.
So long ago. Where had that young love gone?
“He does have a way of making a statement,” Bethany continued.
Yes, he did. It served him well when he went hunting for big profile stories to document.
“I suppose I should hear him out. See what he has in mind. You’re right. I can’t run from this. Now that Mitch knows about Leo, he’ll never let me keep him out of his son’s life.”
“And you shouldn’t.”
True. But she couldn’t stop the worry and the excuses filling her mind since she’d laid eyes on him yesterday.
“Can I risk him taking Leo off on his own? In his current condition?”
“Do you think he’s even gotten that far in the process? From what you said, he’s dealing with physical limitations. Mitch may have taken off at a moment’s notice to cover an event or a story, but he isn’t unrealistic. He’s got to know that becoming a father to Leo will take time.”
Guilt washed over her. She’d been so overly concerned about how Mitch’s return would impact her and Leo’s life, she hadn’t really focused on him. The man who needed a cane to walk. Whose scalp looked like a jigsaw puzzle of scars. Who needed serious medical support. If she’d let herself dwell on his condition, she’d probably have broken down on the spot. Her once healthy, vivacious husband had been reduced to a shadow of the former man. Why hadn’t she been more sympathetic?
Because you don’t want him to hurt you again.
Maybe. But what person didn’t at least try for a little more compassion in a situation like this? Certainly not a selfish person. Is that who she’d become?
“I should ask him more questions when I see him again. He mentioned he had a referral to a local doctor.”
“Zoe, you guys have a long history together. I witnessed the crushing hurt you went through while trying to make things right with Mitch and it wasn’t working. The agony of deciding to divorce. I get that you’re afraid to remotely consider laying your heart on the line with him, either by co-parenting or helping him get through the recovery process.” She paused and met Zoe’s eyes. “But you have a big heart, my friend. No matter the personal stuff between you two, you can’t keep yourself from pitching in to aid those in a bind.”
At that moment, Leo rolled onto his knees and pushed up. Zoe held his hand when he staggered and plopped down on his diaper-clad behind.
“He’s going to be running before you know it,” Bethany said.
“Like his father,” Zoe whispered and just like that, the reality of their current situation hit like a ton of bricks.
Her husband was home. Alive. Injured. Wanting to know his son. It was all too much.
Bethany asked, “Hey, you okay?”
Zoe blinked and took a breath. “I’ll be fine.”
“Good. I don’t want to have to worry about you while I’m gone.” Bethany glanced at her watch. “And on that note, I have to run. I’ve got calls to make, then brunch with the family before I head to the airport.”
After she rose, Bethany scooped Leo into her arms.
“I’m going to miss you,” Zoe said as she stood. “Who else can I talk to about all this?”
“Mitch?”
Zoe shot her an annoyed look.
“Just a suggestion.”
“Which I will take under advisement. Now—”
The doorbell cut off her next words.
“Who could be here this early on a Sunday morning?” she wondered out loud, walking to the door while Bethany cooed her final baby goo-goos.
When the door opened, her eyes went wide to find Mitch on the porch, a white bag in one hand, a white-knuckle grip on the cane in the other.
“Good morning, Zoe. Hope you don’t mind that I stopped by.”
“Without a call first? Why would I mind?”
He winced at her sarcasm.
“If you’d asked you would have known.”
He opened his mouth, then closed it. When Leo squealed from the living room, his shoulders slumped. Along with her displeasure. What a shrew she’d turned into.
“C’mon in,” she said, opening the screen door to let him in.
“Sorry. Next time, I’ll make sure to check with you first.”
As she closed the door, Mitch hobbled into the room. Leo hid his face in the crook of Bethany’s neck, but Bethany’s lips curved into a big smile.