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He sat down at his desk and put his head in his hands. What had he done?
Helen went straight to her room. There was a buzzing in her head and her legs were trembling. Walking over to the handbasin, she sluiced her face with cold water but the feelings didn’t subside.
She sat down at her desk, wondering what she was going to do. She had to do something, of course. She couldn’t let Lewis get away with what he’d said. She had to make him understand that he was wrong about her…
Only he wasn’t.
She had been stuck in a time warp since Ian had died. She’d been clinging to the past because the future terrified her. What did she have to look forward to? She was a widow of thirty-eight with two grown-up stepchildren and a demanding job.
That was it. There was nothing more, nothing for herself, the woman she was inside, a woman who once had dreamed of having a child of her own and someone to love her for all eternity. Lewis was right—she did devote every waking minute to her job. But what else did she have?
‘I’m sorry you overheard that. I had no right to say what I did and I certainly had no right to involve Amy. Those were my views and they had nothing whatsoever to do with her.’
Helen’s head shot up when she recognised Lewis’s voice. All the fear and frustration she was feeling suddenly seemed to combine into one potent force and she rounded on him.
‘It’s customary to knock before you enter a room. Or don’t you believe the rules which most civilised people live by apply to you, Dr Cole?’
‘I did knock. Obviously, you didn’t hear me.’
He came over to her desk and there was something in his eyes that made her anger suddenly pale in the face of all the other emotions she was experiencing. She didn’t want him looking at her as though he cared. She couldn’t afford to let herself believe that he was interested in her. The only thing he was interested in was getting his own way!
She shot to her feet. ‘No, I didn’t hear you. I was too busy working out what I was going to say to you.’
‘And have you decided?’ he asked, his voice grating so that her hands clenched when she felt another rush of awareness hit her.
‘Yes.’
There was no way that she was prepared to give in to these feelings and let him gain the upper hand. She was in charge of this practice and she wouldn’t allow anyone to overrule her. Her job was all she had and the thought made her feel more mixed up than ever, only she couldn’t afford to let him know how painful the idea was. She looked him squarely in the eye because the best way she knew to resolve this problem was by meeting it head on.
‘You had no right to discuss me with anyone. I will not permit you to make personal remarks about the way I choose to live my life. If you cannot accept that then I’m afraid I shall have no choice other than to demand your resignation.’
CHAPTER FOUR
KRISTY was very quiet on the way home from the after-school club that night but Lewis didn’t try to draw her out as he usually did. He was too busy thinking about what Helen had said to him.
He didn’t want to have to tender his resignation so from now on he would be far more careful about what he said. He also didn’t want to upset her again and it was worrying to know that he was so concerned about her feelings when she’d made it clear that she didn’t care about his. He tried not to dwell on the thought as he drew up in front of the house. He spent far too little time with Kristy as it was and it wasn’t fair to spend it worrying about his problems.
‘Would you like to watch a video after we’ve had our tea, sweetheart?’ he asked, smiling at the little girl.
‘All right,’ she mumbled, avoiding his eyes as she scrambled out of the car.
Lewis sighed as he followed her to the house. She was always so distant with him and he only wished that he could find a way to break down the barriers she’d erected around herself. He knew he must be patient if he hoped to gain her trust, but he would have loved to receive the occasional positive response from her.
‘Can I go and see the horse?’ she asked as soon as they were inside.
‘Yes, but put your schoolbag away first.’
He went into the kitchen and opened the refrigerator as she ran off down the hall. He’d not had time to go shopping since they’d arrived so there wasn’t much choice. They’d fallen into the habit of buying a take-away supper every Friday in London and he suddenly decided that they would continue the practice. Kristy might appreciate the familiar routine and he would definitely appreciate a night free from cooking!
He went to the back door and told Kristy they were going out to buy their supper. She was reluctant to leave the horse, although she didn’t object, and once again he found himself wishing that she would show a little more spirit. Maybe some parents would be delighted by such unquestioning obedience but it troubled him. She should be making her opinions known instead of passively agreeing to everything he suggested.
It made him see how much work he still had to do to forge a bond between them, and how silly it would be to involve himself any more in Helen’s affairs. He needed to concentrate on his daughter and forget everything else.
‘Just leave everything in the tray, Janet, and get off home. It’s far too late to do the filing now.’
Helen sighed as the receptionist thanked her and hurriedly left. It was almost a quarter to seven—way past the time they were supposed to finish. Everyone else had left some time ago but she’d slotted a couple of extra patients into her list when they’d turned up without appointments. She could have refused to see them, but Ian had drummed it into her that the patients came first and that their own needs came a very poor second.
She frowned as she switched off the waiting-room lights. She’d never given any thought to that theory before, yet all of a sudden she found herself wondering if it was the right approach. Obviously, the patients deserved the highest level of care but was it really necessary to sacrifice their private lives to achieve that? Surely there should be a better balance between the needs of the patients and the needs of the staff—as Lewis had pointed out.
Her mouth compressed as she made her way to her room. Maybe she did need to make some changes to the way the surgery was run, but she didn’t need Lewis to advise her. He could keep his opinions to himself from now on. And if he couldn’t do so then he would soon discover that she hadn’t been making an idle threat when she’d promised to fire him!
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