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‘You must be so relieved,’ Hannah agreed quietly. As the single mother of a child who needed extra care, she understood how difficult it must have been for Barbara. Maybe it was different when both parents were involved; at least they could discuss any issues and reach a decision together. However, it was much harder when you were solely responsible for your child’s welfare, as she’d discovered.
She knew how she’d agonised over Charlie’s treatment, spending many a sleepless night worrying about what it entailed. It would have helped enormously if she’d had someone to talk it over with but, like Barbara Granger, she’d been on her own. It must have taken a lot of courage to allow her son to leave home, Hannah thought admiringly as she smiled at her.
‘So why is Peter going into hospital?’
‘He needs an operation on one of the valves in his heart. As I’m sure you know, dear, a lot of people with Down’s have heart problems, so it isn’t the first time Peter has needed treatment. It was fine while he was a child—I was able to stay in the hospital with him. But now he’s nineteen and classed as an adult that isn’t possible. He’s getting very anxious about it, which is why I thought I’d have a word with you.’
Hannah frowned. ‘I understand your concerns, Mrs Granger, although I’m not sure what I can do to help. Can you leave it with me? I’ll speak to Simon and see what he suggests.’
‘Of course.’ Barbara stood up. ‘Just give me a call when you’ve worked something out or, better still, pop in for a coffee if you’re passing. I live right next door to the nursery and you can always call in after you’ve dropped off your little boy. Lovely little chap. Let’s hope they can sort out that problem with his feet, eh?’
Barbara bade her a cheery goodbye, obviously finding nothing unusual about the fact that she knew so much about Hannah’s private life. Hannah shook her head as she gathered up the notes she had used. She had been in the town for just two days and already it seemed that everyone knew all about her!
‘Was that Barbara Granger I saw leaving?’
Hannah jumped when a deep voice addressed her from the doorway. She looked up, trying to quell the racing of her heart when she saw Tom standing there. He had shed his jacket and rolled up the sleeves of his pale blue shirt so that his tanned forearms were bare. He looked so big and overwhelmingly male that her mouth went dry. She may not be in the market for another relationship but she would need to be dead from the neck up and down not to be aware of him! It was only when she saw one dark brow lift that she realised he was waiting for her to answer.
‘It was. Apparently, her son is going into hospital soon and he’s getting very stressed about it,’ she said, shuffling the notes into a pile.
‘Something to do with Peter’s heart, I take it?’ Tom came into the room and stopped beside the desk. Hannah continued her shuffling, although for some reason her normally deft fingers seemed to have all turned to thumbs.
‘Mmm. He needs an operation to repair one of the valves.’ The pile of notes suddenly disintegrated into an untidy heap and she clamped her lips together in annoyance. Picking up the top few folders, she tried again then jumped when a large hand appeared in front of her.
‘Here, give me half and I’ll help you carry them through to the office.’
Tom didn’t wait for her to comply with his offer as he scooped up half of the buff envelopes and Hannah had to bite down even harder to stem the retort that was trying to escape. She didn’t need his help, but short of making a scene there was little she could do.
She trailed after him, aware that she was in danger of making a mountain out of the proverbial molehill. Tom was just trying to be helpful and it was stupid to see it as a threat. She knew it was true yet it was difficult to accept it. She really didn’t want to be beholden to him for anything.
He plonked the notes into a tray then stood aside while she deposited hers on top. ‘Lizzie will sort them out when she gets back from lunch,’ he assured her, resting one lean hip against the edge of the desk.
‘It might help if I put them into some kind of order,’ Hannah murmured, taking a couple of folders off the pile.
‘There’s no need. Lizzie is a whiz with the filing. She’ll have them sorted in no time.’ He took the folders off her and dropped them back into the tray, leaving her gasping at his high-handedness. However, he seemed oblivious as he returned the conversation to what they had been discussing.
‘Peter is a lovely fellow. Although he has Down’s, he’s quite a high achiever. He works at The Ship Inn, collecting the empty glasses and, occasionally, waiting on in the dining room if it’s busy.’
‘Really!’ Hannah exclaimed in surprise.
‘Yes. That’s the joy of a place like Bride’s Bay. Folk look out for one another and do all they can to help. Mitch Johnson, who runs the pub, took Peter on last winter and it’s worked out really well for everyone.’
‘That’s wonderful. I had no idea people were so supportive. Where I worked before, there were plans to build a unit for people with disabilities like Peter’s but the local residents objected and it didn’t go ahead.’
‘Sadly, that happens all too often. I’d put it down to ignorance if I didn’t have a nasty suspicion that it was more a fear of it having an impact on property prices than anything else.’ Tom shrugged when she looked at him. ‘If you live next to one of those units, you could find that the value of your home drops.’
‘I’m sure you’re right.’ Hannah was surprised by how disgusted he sounded. She wouldn’t have summed him up as someone with strong altruistic leanings, although why she should have made that assumption it was impossible to say. She hurried on, not wanting to dwell on the thought that she might have been unfair to him. ‘Anyway, I was going to have a word with Simon to see what he could suggest. It sounds as though Peter needs some reassurance.’
‘The hospital has just instigated a scheme whereby vulnerable adults are given a tour of the areas they’ll be using during their stay.’ Tom straightened and went over to the filing cabinet. ‘They sent us a leaflet only last week if I can find it… Ah! Here it is.’
He handed her the leaflet and Hannah sucked in her breath when their hands brushed. She murmured her thanks as she took it over to the window to read, although for a few seconds the words seemed to dance before her eyes. She had to stop this nonsense, had to stop reacting whenever Tom touched her. It was ridiculous to be this responsive to a man she barely knew.
The thought steadied her. She skimmed through the leaflet and nodded. ‘This sounds ideal. I’m sure Peter will feel a lot happier if he knows exactly where he’s going.’
‘Precisely.’ Tom followed her across the room, bending so that he could point out a paragraph that was particularly relevant. ‘They will even introduce him to the members of staff who’ll be looking after him. That’s probably more important than anything else. If Peter knows the nurses and doctors, etcetera, he’ll be less likely to worry.’
‘I’m sure you’re right,’ Hannah agreed tersely, anxious to put a little distance between them. She went to step back then realised that Tom had beaten her to it and already moved away. He smiled at her but she couldn’t fail to see the wariness in his eyes.
‘If I were you, I’d give them a call right away, Hannah. The sooner you get it organised the better.’
‘Of course,’ she murmured, wondering why he appeared so on edge. He’d probably realised that he’d been crowding her, she decided, impinging on her personal space. However, logical though it sounded, she wasn’t convinced it was the answer and it bothered her. ‘I’ll do it now, so long as you don’t think Simon will mind.’
‘Of course he won’t mind. He’s gone out on a call but, believe me, he would never have taken you on if he didn’t have faith in your judgement.’
‘That’s good to know.’
Hannah headed for the door, relieved to make her escape. Being around Tom seemed to confuse her for some reason and she didn’t appreciate feeling this way. She liked order in her life, not uncertainty, although she was trying not to be as rigid in her outlook as she’d used to be. As she had discovered when she’d been expecting Charlie, not everything went according to plan.
The thought still had the power to hurt. She couldn’t help feeling guilty about the way she had tried so hard to structure every aspect of her life. If she’d been more flexible then Andrew might not have been so uncompromising too, she thought for the umpteenth time, then sighed when she realised how unlikely that was.
‘So how do you feel about us holding the fort while Simon and Ros visit their daughter?’
‘I suppose it would make sense,’ Hannah said, pausing reluctantly.
‘But?’ He gave a short laugh. ‘There was a definite “but” in there if I’m not mistaken.’
‘Was there?’ He was far too astute, she realised with a sinking heart. She summoned a smile, keen to convince him that she wasn’t the least bit worried by the thought of them working together. ‘I suppose I’m a little concerned at the thought of being so new to the practice. It takes a while to find your feet and I wouldn’t like to make any major blunders.’
‘I’m sure you’re far too professional to commit any blunders.’
He returned her smile but once again she could see the wariness in his eyes. It struck her all of a sudden that if she had a problem with Tom then he had a problem with her too. The thought was unsettling because she didn’t want there to be any issues between them, nothing to make either of them more aware of the other, and she hurried on. ‘Let’s hope so. Anyway, what about you? Would you be able to delay taking up your new job?’
‘Yes, I expect so.’ He shrugged. ‘Benedict—he’s the director of the clinic I’m going to work at—is a friend from way back. I’m sure he would agree to let me start a few weeks later if I explained the situation to him.’
‘In that case, there doesn’t appear to be a problem.’ She gave a light laugh, determined to nip things in the bud. Maybe she did find him attractive but so what? She was a grown woman, a mother as well, and she wasn’t going to allow herself to get carried away! ‘If Ros and Simon do decide to go, I’m sure we’ll cope.’
‘I’m sure we will too,’ Tom murmured. He glanced round when the phone rang, hating the fact that he felt so relieved to be interrupted. He knew it was ridiculous to be so aware of her, but he couldn’t seem to stop. Even learning that she was a mother—a definite no-no in his book—hadn’t dampened his interest. As soon as he was near her, common sense flew right out of the window.
It was a worrying thought and Tom knew that he needed to take it on board. Normally, he was the one who called the shots, the one who was always in control, but not this time, it seemed. He needed to get himself back on track and there was no time like the present. He smiled coolly at her, hoping that she couldn’t tell how on edge he felt. ‘I’d better get that.’
‘Of course.’
She didn’t say anything else before she left the room so there was no basis for thinking that she was as relieved as he was to put an end to the conversation. Tom lifted the receiver to his ear and listened while the caller explained that the dog had eaten his prescription. It was the sort of anecdote he normally relished, but he found it difficult to concentrate that day. Was Hannah as confused by her feelings as he was by his?
‘Are you still there, Doctor?’
‘I… um… yes.’
Tom dragged his mind back to the missing prescription and told the caller to come into the surgery and collect another one. He printed it out and left it in the tray then headed out to the corridor. He had to stop thinking about Hannah all the time. If it did turn out that they would be working together for longer than expected then he needed to put things into perspective. It shouldn’t be difficult. He just had to remember that he was incapable of being faithful to any woman. He was genetically programmed to play the field like generations of his family had done before him. So long as he remembered that, everything would be fine, but if he ever imagined that he could break the cycle…
He cut off that thought. He couldn’t change who he was, couldn’t erase his heritage, the bad bits or the good. He had tried to do so once before and had failed miserably, and he certainly wasn’t going to try it again. No matter how tempted he was, he wouldn’t get involved with Hannah, especially when there was a child on the scene.
Children needed stability more than anything else. They needed people who would stay around while they were growing up and he couldn’t promise to do that. Oh, he might think he could but, if push came to shove, would he? Could he? Or would the family genes rise to the fore and he’d turn out exactly like the rest of them—incapable of making a commitment and sticking to it?
Tom squared his shoulders. It was a risk he wasn’t prepared to take. No matter how attracted he was to Hannah, she was off limits.
CHAPTER THREE
IT WAS just gone six when Hannah arrived at the nursery to collect Charlie. Simon had insisted that she and Tom should split her evening list, which meant she had managed to get away earlier than expected. Now, as she rang the bell, she found herself wondering why she had been so reluctant to let Tom help her. After all, the world hadn’t come to an end because he had seen some patients for her!
‘Oh, hi, Hannah. Come on in. Charlie’s in the playroom—we can’t get him out of the sand tray. He loves it!’
Lucy Burrows, one of the nursery nurses, laughed as she opened the door. Hannah briskly dismissed the thought that she had overreacted as she followed Lucy inside. The sooner she accepted that Tom was just someone she worked with the better. Now, as she paused in the doorway and watched Charlie giggling happily, she was overwhelmed with relief.
Taking Charlie away from everything he knew had been a gamble. Children thrived on stability and she’d been afraid that the move would unsettle him, but so far everything seemed to be working out surprisingly well. He seemed to have settled into the tiny cottage she had rented down by the harbour and he seemed equally happy here at the nursery. After what they had been through in the past year, it was hard to believe that their lives might be changing for the better. If only Andrew had stuck around, surely he would have realised that having a child with talipes wasn’t the disaster he imagined?
Hannah’s mouth compressed as she went over to her son. The likelihood of her ex altering his views was zero. From the moment they had discovered during her pregnancy that there was a problem with Charlie’s feet, Andrew hadn’t wanted anything to do with him. He had wanted a perfect child and he had made that clear.
‘Hello, darling. Are you having a lovely time?’ Hannah crouched down beside the little boy. With his dark brown curls and deep blue eyes, Charlie looked a lot like Andrew. It had hurt at first to see the resemblance, but she had learned to harden her heart. It took more than shared genes to be a real father.
Charlie gurgled in delight when he saw her. Hannah picked him up, inhaling his lovely warm baby smell. Even though she needed to work to support them, she missed him so much whenever they were apart.
‘He’s been as good as gold,’ Lucy told her. ‘You’d think he’d been coming here for ages, not that it was his first day.’
‘That’s a good boy.’
Hannah gave Charlie a kiss as she hitched him more securely onto her hip. Although the casts on his legs were lightweight ones, they were still cumbersome and made carrying him rather awkward. She collected his bag and took him out to the car. Digging into her pocket, she tried to ease out the keys but, with Charlie straddling her hip, it wasn’t easy. She groaned when she ended up dropping them on the ground.
‘Here, let me get them for you.’
All of a sudden Tom was there and she jumped. He smiled as he picked up the bunch of keys. ‘I’ll get the door for you as well.’
He unlocked the car and opened the rear door, standing back while she strapped Charlie into his seat. She straightened up, forcing herself to smile when he dropped the keys into her hand. Maybe it was the shock of seeing him when she’d least expected it, but her heart was racing again.
‘Thanks. You could do with an extra pair of hands when you have a baby,’ she said, lightly.
‘So I can see.’ He smiled back, his deep blue eyes crinkling attractively at the corners. With his tanned skin and athletic build, not to mention that air of confidence he exuded, he must have women fighting to go out with him, she thought, then wondered why the idea made her feel so dejected.
‘Well, I’d better get off,’ she said, opening the driver’s door before any more foolish thoughts could infiltrate her mind. She didn’t want to go out with him—it was the last thing she wanted! ‘Charlie will want his tea.’
‘Of course.’ He glanced at his watch and grimaced. ‘I’d better get my skates on too. I was supposed to be at the lifeboat station for six and it’s five past already.’
Hannah paused. ‘Are you part of the lifeboat crew?’
‘No. I’d love to be, but the fact that I spend most of my time working abroad means it isn’t possible.’ He shrugged. ‘I’m filling in for Simon tonight. He teaches first aid to the crew. There’s a couple of new guys who’ve just started and they need to complete the course as part of their training.’
‘Oh, I see.’ Hannah hesitated but there was no way she could avoid offering him a lift when she was heading that way. ‘I’m going that way so why don’t you hop in? It’ll save you some time.’
‘Oh, I wouldn’t want to take you out of your way…’
‘You aren’t.’ She summoned a smile when she realised how sharp she’d sounded. However, his reluctance to get into the car had stung. ‘I’m renting a cottage down by the harbour so I’m going that way.’
‘Oh! Right. Then thank you.’
He strode around the car and slid into the passenger seat. Hannah started the engine and pulled out into the traffic. Although the roads were nowhere near as busy as they were in London, she was surprised by the number of vehicles there were about.
‘It’s a lot busier than I expected,’ she observed, easing round a car and caravan combination that was partially blocking the road.
‘We’re coming into the holiday season. By the middle of July, you won’t be able to move in the town centre—it’ll be one big traffic jam.’
‘Really?’ She frowned. ‘I had no idea that Bride’s Bay was so popular with the tourists.’
‘All the towns along this stretch of coast are tourist magnets.’ Tom smiled at her. ‘You’ll learn to live with it, as everyone does. Yes, it does get hectic at times, but the plus side is that the holidaymakers bring a lot of money into the town.’
‘Which can only be a good thing,’ she concluded. ‘Without the extra income then people would need to move away to find work.’
‘Exactly. As it is, most of the folk in Bride’s Bay have lived here all their lives. That’s what makes it so special.’
His tone was warm and she glanced curiously at him. ‘You obviously love the town.’
‘I do. I’ve been coming here since I was a child and I can honestly say that it’s my favourite place to be.’
‘So why didn’t you opt to become Simon’s partner?’ She slowed to let an elderly couple cross the road and glanced at him. ‘I’m sure he would have been delighted.’
‘I like variety, which is why I prefer to take short-term contracts.’
It was a reasonable answer yet Hannah doubted it was the whole truth. If Tom loved the town so much then the logical step would be for him to settle down here. She was about to point that out when a loud bang made her jump.
‘What on earth was that!’ she exclaimed, drawing the car to a halt.
‘A maroon. They let them off from the lifeboat station to alert the crew when there’s a boat in trouble.’ Tom leant forward and pointed through the windscreen. ‘Look! You can see the trail of smoke it’s left behind.’
Hannah leant forward to look then felt her breath catch when she realised how close they were. There was just the tiniest space separating them and it shrank even more when Tom suddenly turned and she found herself staring into his eyes. She felt a shiver run through her when she saw his eyes darken, turning from sapphire blue to midnight in the space of a heartbeat. When he bent towards her she didn’t move, couldn’t have done so when it felt as though she was drowning in their indigo depths…
Charlie started to cry when a second rocket exploded and the spell was broken. Hannah took a quick breath as she turned to reassure him, but her heart was racing out of control. If they hadn’t been interrupted would she have let Tom kiss her? Because that was where they’d been heading.
Her heart sank as she realised that she would have done. She would have let Tom kiss her, kissed him back, and there was no point denying it. On the contrary, she needed to face the truth, admit that she was deeply attracted to him, and do something about it.
She couldn’t get involved with Tom. It was far too soon after what had happened between her and Andrew. Discovering that the one person she should have been able to rely on had let her down had knocked her for six and it would be a long time before she could trust anyone again. Then there was Charlie. She intended to focus all her time and energy on making sure that everything possible was done for him. The child may have been let down by his father but he wasn’t going to be let down by her too.
Hannah took a deep breath. Nothing was going to happen between her and Tom, not now. Not ever.
Tom could feel the heat that had been pooling in the pit of his stomach turning to ice. He couldn’t believe what had happened. One minute he’d been looking through the windscreen and the next…
He swore under his breath as he reached for the door handle. He had come within a hair’s breadth of kissing Hannah. That was bad enough, but the fact that he appeared to have so little self-control where she was concerned was far more worrying. He knew that she wasn’t right for him but it hadn’t stopped him. He would have kissed her and to hell with the consequences because kissing her had seemed more important than anything else. It made him see how dangerous the situation was. Hannah could turn his world upside down, if he let her.
‘I’ll walk from here. It’s not far now and it’ll be quicker than waiting for the traffic to clear.’ He opened the car door, using that as an excuse not to look at her. He didn’t appreciate feeling so vulnerable. He had always been in control before, of himself and his relationships, but it appeared that he was putty in her hands.
The thought of her hands being anywhere near him was too much. Tom shot out of the car, pausing briefly, as politeness dictated, to thank her. Maybe he should have simply cut and run but he needed to take charge of what was happening, be proactive rather than reactive. ‘Thanks for the lift, Hannah. I appreciate it.’
‘It was nothing.’
Her voice was husky and he felt the hair all over his body stand to attention. Even though he really didn’t want to have to look at her, he couldn’t resist. The lump of ice rapidly melted again when he saw the stunned expression on her face. In that second he knew that if he had kissed her, she wouldn’t have stopped him!
Quite frankly, it was the last thing he needed to know. Tom slammed the door and headed off down the hill as though the hounds of hell were snapping at his heels. In a way they were, because it would be his own version of hell if he allowed the situation to gather momentum. He took a deep breath as he weaved his way through the crowd that had gathered to watch the lifeboat being launched. He was attracted to Hannah, more attracted to her than he’d been to any woman. She seemed to push all the right buttons, or maybe that should be all the wrong ones because he certainly didn’t want to feel this way. He was happy with his lot, enjoyed his life free from complications…