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It had been the same when they had announced their engagement some months later; he had been truly thrilled for them both and absolutely delighted when Tim had asked him to be his best man. It was only at the wedding that he had started to feel a little bit odd. Listening to Bella swearing to love, honour and care for Tim for the rest of her days had, surprisingly, made Mac feel as though he was about to lose something unutterably precious …
He drove the thought from his head. It was too late for it now; far too late to wish that he had said something, done something, stopped the wedding. How could he have jumped up in the middle of the ceremony and declared that he didn’t want Bella to marry Tim because he wanted her for himself? No, he had done the right thing—sat there and played his part to the best of his ability. And if there’d been an ache in his heart, well, he had accepted that he would have to learn to live with it.
That was why he had decided to sign on with Worlds Together, a leading overseas aid agency, after the wedding. He had been on over half a dozen missions to date and although he knew that he had helped a lot of people during that time, he had gained a lot too. He’d had three years to rationalise his feelings, three years to make sure they were safely under wraps. Why, if anyone had asked him a couple of weeks ago how he felt then he would have confidently told them that he was back on track. But not now. Not now that Bella was no longer Tim’s wife. Not now that she was available.
Mac swallowed his groan. Maybe he did want to help Bella but it could turn out that he was creating a lot of problems for himself by doing so.
Bella had no idea what was going on but the tension in the car was making her feel sick. She licked her parched lips, trying to think of something to say, but what exactly? If she ordered Mac to get out of the car, would he do so? Or would he ignore her and stay where he was? It was the not knowing that was the scariest thing of all because it denoted a massive shift in his attitude.
Mac’s behaviour towards her had always been impeccable in the past. He had treated her with an old-fashioned courtesy that she had found strangely endearing. Few men in the circles she had frequented had been so polite. The old ‘Hooray Henry’ syndrome had been very much alive, so that Mac’s thoughtfulness and maturity had set him apart. That was why she had enjoyed spending time with him, she realised in surprise. He hadn’t needed to shout or tell risqué stories to make himself stand out. Whenever Mac was around, people always knew he was there.
The thought stunned her. She had never realised before just how much Mac had impressed her. He had been an unknown quantity in so many ways, his background so different from hers that she had been afraid of saying something stupid that would betray her ignorance. Now, after working in the NHS for the past ten years, she had a much better idea of the world. She had treated many people from backgrounds similar to Mac’s and understood the hardships they faced. That Mac must have had to overcome all sorts of obstacles to qualify as a doctor merely highlighted his strength of character, his determination, his commitment. Few men could have taken on such a challenge and won.
Bella’s head whirled as thoughts that she had never entertained before rushed through it. Added to the strain she’d been under since the breakdown of her marriage, it made her feel very shaky. Leaning forward, she rested her throbbing forehead on the steering wheel.
‘Are you all right? Bella, what’s wrong? Answer me!’
The concern in Mac’s voice brought a rush of tears to her eyes. Although her parents had expressed polite sympathy when she had told them about the divorce, they hadn’t really cared about the effect it had had on her. They were too wrapped up in their own lives to put her first. As Mac had just done.
‘It’s just all too much,’ she whispered, unable to lie.
‘No wonder!’ Anger laced his deep voice as he got out of the car. He strode round to her side and flung open the door. ‘When I think what you must have been through recently—’ He broke off as he lifted her out of the car. Bella got the impression that he didn’t trust himself to say anything more as he carried her round to the passenger’s side. He gently deposited her on the seat and snapped the seat belt into place then looked at her. ‘Right, where to? You can go straight home or you can come back to my place. You decide.’
Bella bit her lip as she weighed up her choices, even though by rights she knew that she should tell him to take her home. She didn’t want to talk to him, especially not tonight when she felt so raw, so emotional, so very vulnerable.
‘Come on, Bella. Just choose where you want to go and I’ll take you there.’ His tone was so gentle, so persuasive, and Bella wanted to be persuaded so much …
‘Yours.’
Mac nodded as he closed the door. Walking round to the driver’s side, he got in and backed out of the parking space. He didn’t say a word as he drove out of the hospital gates. Bella had no idea where he lived and quite frankly didn’t care. Wherever it was, it had to be better than the soulless apartment she was renting. They drove for about fifteen minutes, the roads becoming increasingly narrow as they headed away from the town centre. Bella had done very little exploring since she had moved to Dalverston and had no idea where they were going until she saw the pale glint of water in the distance and realised they were heading towards the river. Mac slowed and turned down a narrow lane, drawing up on the grass verge.
‘We have to walk from here,’ he told her. ‘It’s not far, just five minutes or so, but we can’t take the car any further.’
Bella nodded as she unfastened her seat belt. She slid to the ground, breathing in the musky scent of damp vegetation. She could hear the river now, the softly sibilant whisper of the water providing a backdrop to the sound of the birds performing their evening chorus. It was so peaceful that she sighed.
‘It’s wonderful not to hear any traffic.’
‘One of the big advantages of living out in the sticks,’ Mac replied with a smile that made her breath catch.
He turned and led the way along the path, leaving her to follow, which she did once she had got her breath back. It was the way he had smiled at her that had done the damage—smiled at her the way Mac had used to do. Did it mean that he had forgiven her for her apparent misdemeanours? She doubted it, yet all of a sudden she felt better than she had done in ages. The world didn’t seem quite so grim now that Mac had smiled at her. How crazy was that?
Mac paused when they reached the riverbank. It was almost nine p.m. and the light was fading fast. In another month, there would still be enough daylight to light their way along the towpath but he was afraid that Bella would trip up in the dark. Holding out his hand, he smiled at her, determined to keep a rein on his emotions this time. He was offering to hold her hand for safety’s sake and not for his own nefarious reasons!
‘You’d better hold on to me. The path’s a bit slippery after all the rain we’ve had recently. I don’t want you ending up taking a dip.’
There was a moment when he sensed her hesitate before she slipped her hand into his. Mac sucked in his breath when he felt his libido immediately stir to life. OK, so, admittedly, he hadn’t made love to a woman in a very long time, but that had been his choice, hadn’t it? He had grown tired of dating for dating’s sake, had become weary of sex that hadn’t really meant anything. It had seemed better to step out of the game rather than continue the way he had been doing. However, it was completely out of order for him to start lusting after Bella. She’d been through enough without him making her life even more complicated.
Mac gave himself a stern talking-to as he led her along the towpath and, thankfully, it seemed to work. There were several boats tied up along the riverbank and he guided her around their mooring lines. They came to the last boat in the row and he stopped, suddenly feeling on edge as he wondered what she would make of his home. Although he loved the old boat—loved everything about it, from the tranquillity of its mooring to the fact that it was the first home he had owned—Bella had been brought up to expect so much more. He couldn’t help feeling a little bit … well, nervous about what she would make of it.
‘This is it,’ he announced, wincing when he heard the false note of bonhomie in his voice. It wasn’t like him to put up a front and he hated the fact that he’d felt it necessary. If Bella didn’t like his home—so what? It wouldn’t make a scrap of difference to him … Would it?
‘You live on a boat!’
The surprise in her voice made his teeth snap together as he forced down the urge to start apologising.
‘Yep. I bought it when I moved here. I couldn’t afford a house so I opted for this instead. It’s the perfect base when I’m in the UK. Come on. I’ll show you round.’
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