Miracle Under The Mistletoe
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She treated the man to a warm smile and Sean felt some of his guilt ooze away. So the old Molly hadn’t disappeared completely, as he had feared. It was just with him that she was so frosty; she was perfectly fine with everyone else. That thought might have set off another round of soul-searching if he had let it, only he refused to do so. As he followed her out of the cubicle, he ruthlessly shoved all those pesky feelings back into their box and slammed the lid. He had to focus on the fact that he had done what he had needed to do to protect her, and that he would do exactly the same thing all over again too if it became necessary …
Wouldn’t he?
Sean felt his vision blur, the sterile white walls that surrounded him turning a fuzzy shade of grey. He would finish with Molly again if he had to—of course he would! However, no matter how many times he told himself that, he didn’t quite believe it. Maybe he was ninety-nine per cent certain but there was that one per cent of doubt lurking in his mind. One tiny but highly dangerous percentage of uncertainty that sent a chill rippling down his spine. Until he could erase it completely then he couldn’t be sure exactly how he would react, so help him!
Molly made her way to the desk, trying to ignore the fact that Sean was following her. That was the best way to handle this situation, she reminded herself—she would ignore him and concentrate on doing her job. It shouldn’t be that difficult. They were always so busy that there was little time to think about anything of a personal nature; however, she had to admit that several times she had found her thoughts wandering. Sean had had a major impact on her life and it wasn’t easy to forget that when they had been thrust together again like this.
Molly’s generous mouth tightened as she set about making the adjustment to Frank Forster’s meds. Although she knew exactly what was needed to make the man comfortable, it required a doctor’s signature on the prescription. She glanced round, hoping to catch sight of Steph Collins, their F1 student, but there was no sign of her. Although everything was calming down now, there were still a few patients in the unit. Undoubtedly, Steph was dealing with one of them.
‘Here. I’ll sign that.’
A large tanned hand reached over her shoulder and took the script from her and Molly jumped. She hadn’t realised that Sean was standing quite so close to her and she couldn’t stop herself reacting. There was a tiny pause and she held her breath as she willed him not to say anything. She didn’t want him to suspect how nervous she felt around him, didn’t want to admit it to herself even. She just wanted to be indifferent to his presence, as he was undoubtedly indifferent to hers.
The soft rustle of paper as he scrawled his name at the bottom of the script broke the spell. Molly nodded as he handed it back to her without comment, relieved that she had got off so lightly. She would be wary of that happening again, she thought as she took the keys to the drugs cupboard out of her pocket. The last thing she wanted was to appear vulnerable when Sean was around.
‘Thanks. I’ll get Mr Forster sorted out and then check if there’s a bed available yet. He may have to be transferred to Men’s Surgical if the Spinal Unit can’t come up with anything soon.’
‘Hardly ideal, is it, to shunt seriously injured patients about?’ Sean observed.
‘No. It isn’t.’ She shrugged, causing another wayward curl to spring out of its clip. ‘However, needs must. We either move him to Men’s Surgical or get a rocket off the powers-that-be for overrunning the time limit. I sometimes wish that they all had to do a stint down here. Then they might appreciate just how difficult it is to get a patient seen and treated within such a ridiculously short space of time.’
‘Amen to that,’ Sean murmured. Leaning forward, he carefully tucked the unruly curl behind her ear and nodded. ‘There you go. All nice and tidy again.’
‘I … erm … I’ll get that anti-emetic.’
Molly turned and fled, uncaring what he thought as she hurried into the office. She could feel her heart pounding in her chest, rapid little flurries that sent the blood gushing through her veins in a red-hot torrent, and bit her lip. She didn’t want to react this way, but she couldn’t seem to help it. The moment Sean had touched her, it had been as though a fire had reignited inside her and the thought filled her with dismay.
She couldn’t go through what she had been through two years ago all over again. Sean had meant the world to her back then; she had honestly thought that she had found her Mr Right, but she had been mistaken. Sean wasn’t interested in making a commitment to her or to any woman.
‘About what happened before, Molly, well, I’d hate to think that it might create a problem between us.’
Molly spun round so fast when she heard Sean’s voice that the room started to whirl around her and she grabbed hold of the desk to steady herself. ‘What happened before,’ she repeated uncertainly. Her heart suddenly leapt into her throat. Was Sean talking about their affair? Was he attempting to explain why he had ended it so abruptly? Even though it shouldn’t have made a scrap of difference now, she found herself holding her breath.
‘Yes. That incident with the drunk, I mean.’ He grimaced. ‘You were quite right to take me to task because I should never have interfered. I’ve always had the greatest respect for the way you handle even the most difficult patients and I should have left it to you to sort things out.’
‘I …’ Molly found herself floundering and desperately tried to collect herself. Of course Sean wasn’t talking about their affair! That was over and done with so far as he was concerned. In fact, he probably hadn’t given her another thought after he had left Dalverston. The idea was so painful that it cut through the muddle in her head as nothing else could have done.
‘No, you shouldn’t have intervened,’ she said flatly, afraid that he would guess how hurt she felt. She drew herself up, forcing all the injured feelings to the deepest, darkest corner of her mind. Letting herself get upset at this stage was pointless. It wouldn’t change what had happened; neither would she want it to. ‘I was perfectly capable of handling it myself. However, there seems little point going on and on about it. It’s all over and done with now.’
‘Of course. I just wouldn’t want it to cause any … well, friction between us. I realise that working together isn’t exactly ideal but I’m hoping that we can call a truce. Do you think that’s possible, Molly? Can we put what happened two years ago behind us?’
‘It isn’t an issue,’ she said quickly and then flushed when she saw the scepticism in his eyes. ‘Don’t flatter yourself, Sean. Oh, I may have been upset at the time—I’ll admit it. However, I soon got over it, I assure you.’
‘Good. I’m pleased to hear it.’ He grinned at her, apparently relieved to have got everything settled so successfully. ‘Right, I’d better get back before we have a mutiny on our hands. The rest of the team will think we’ve gone AWOL!’
Molly filled in the sheet to say that she had taken the prescribed drugs after he had left then took a deep breath before she made her way back to the unit. From this point on she would follow Sean’s example and treat him as nothing more than a colleague. It was only what he was, in all honesty, so it shouldn’t be that difficult, especially after what he had said to her just now.
A tiny stab of pain speared through her heart but she steadfastly ignored it. Obviously, Sean didn’t view her as anything more than someone he worked with and she was glad about that too!
CHAPTER THREE
IT WAS WELL after seven a.m. before Sean finally left the unit. Although he had been due to leave at six there had been a last-minute rush which had held everyone up, not that he minded. As he made his way to the staff car park, he deliberately set about erasing the night’s events from his mind. There was no point dwelling on what Molly had said about how quickly she had got over him. And definitely no point wondering why he had felt so hurt when he had heard it. He had learned through experience that it was best not to examine his feelings in too much depth. No, they had called a truce and that was it. End of story.
Sean sighed as he unlocked his car and got in, all too aware how shallow it made him appear to take such a view. However, as he couldn’t think of a better approach, he had to go along with it. There was a film of ice covering the windscreen and he switched on the engine to clear it. There were a lot of night staff leaving at the same time and he recognised several people from the last time he had worked at Dalverston.
He had enjoyed his stint here, he mused as he waited for the ice to melt. There was a strong community feel about the hospital, plus it was situated in such a glorious part of the country. He knew that they were desperately in need of a permanent registrar to fill the vacancy in A&E and was seriously tempted to apply for the post himself. He would enjoy living and working here full-time.
The thought shocked him, mainly because it was the first time that he had seriously considered taking a permanent post. After Claire had died so tragically in that road accident, he had found it impossible to settle. He had signed on with a leading medical agency and taken only short-term contracts ever since. Two months here, six months there; it had been exactly what he had wanted. To suddenly discover that his peripatetic lifestyle had started to pall was a shock and not a pleasant one either, especially when it was the thought of working here that had triggered it. It would be asking for trouble if he remained in Dalverston. Working with Molly, day in and day out, would be far too much for him to handle.
As though thinking about her had somehow conjured her up, Molly suddenly appeared. Sean felt his heart and what felt like the rest of his vital organs scrunch up inside him as he watched her walk over to her car. She had parked in the row behind him and he studied her reflection in his rear-view mirror. She looked weary, only to be expected after the busy night they’d had, but was that the only reason for the defeated slump to her shoulders? Or had it anything to do with him? Had she found it a strain to work with him after what had happened between them in the past? Even though there was little he could do about it, he hated to think that he was the cause of her unhappiness. Out of all the women he had dated since Claire had died, Molly was the only one he had truly cared about.
Molly slid the key into the lock and opened the car door. Picking up the can of de-icer, she squirted a generous dollop onto the frosty windscreen. She hated winter, hated the fact that she couldn’t just get in her car and drive away. There was no point pretending—working with Sean had been an ordeal, one she wished with every scrap of her being that she wouldn’t have to repeat, but there was no hope of that, was there? He was covering the entire Christmas and New Year period which meant he would be around for at least six weeks and probably longer if the management team could persuade him to stay on. Finding cover over the festive period was always difficult as most locums wanted to be with their families at this time of the year. There were very few with Sean’s skills and experience willing to relocate.
Molly tucked the can under the passenger seat, trying not to think about the problems it could cause if she had to see Sean on a daily basis. Slipping the key into the ignition, she attempted to start the engine, only to be rewarded by a nasty grunting noise. She tried again with the same result. The battery, always dodgy, was completely flat. Brilliant! Now she would have to catch the bus, which was just what she needed after the night she’d had.
‘Problems?’
Molly almost jumped out of her skin when her car door opened. She had no idea where Sean had appeared from and found it impossible to reply. He gave her a quick smile as leant into the car to try starting the engine himself.
‘Sounds like a flat battery to me,’ he declared when he received the same response. Resting his forearm against the roof of the car, he grinned down at her. ‘They always go at the worst possible moment, don’t they?’
It was the sort of comment anyone might have made in such circumstances, so Molly had no idea why she reacted as she did. ‘Thank you, but I did manage to work that out for myself! Now, if you’ll move aside …’
She gave the door a hefty push to fully open it, not even flinching when it caught him a glancing blow on his hip. It was his own fault for poking his nose in again where it wasn’t wanted, she assured herself as she lifted her bag off the passenger seat. She didn’t need his help. She didn’t want anything to do with him. Quite frankly, if he disappeared in a puff of smoke it would make her day!
Slamming the car door, she started walking towards the gate, wondering how long it would be before a bus came along. She lived on the other side of the town and it took forever by bus, which was why she had saved up for a car.
She was just nearing the gate when she saw her bus coming along the road and started to run, but it was difficult to make much progress thanks to the frosty conditions underfoot. She groaned as she was forced to watch it drive away. She would have to wait at least half an hour before another came along.
‘Hop in. I’ll give you a lift.’ Sean drew up beside her but Molly shook her head.
‘No, thank you. I prefer to wait for the next bus,’ she said snippily.
‘Are you sure?’ He shrugged, his broad shoulders moving lightly beneath his heavy quilted jacket, and Molly gulped. Sean had always possessed the most wonderful physique and it seemed little had changed in that respect. He had gone running when they had been seeing each other, setting off early each morning so he could fit in a run before work.
How many times had he come back from one of those runs and persuaded her to take a shower with him? she wondered suddenly. She had no idea but the memory of those times seemed to flood her mind. They had made love in the shower, their desire heightened by the sensuous feel of the hot water cascading over their naked bodies, and then followed it up by making love all over again in her bed. She had never realised that lovemaking could feel like that, had never experienced desire on such a level before. It was Sean who had taught her what it could be like. Only Sean who could make her feel that way again too.
The thought was too much. It made a mockery of all the plans she had made about how she intended to live her life in the future. What hope did she have of sticking to her decision to be in charge of her own destiny when one night working with Sean had had this effect? She had to rid herself of all these foolish memories, finally put an end to that episode in her life. Until she did so she would be always looking back, constantly comparing how she felt now to how she had felt then.
It was the way she should set about it that was the big question—how to totally and completely erase Sean Fitzgerald from her consciousness. Oh, she had tried her best over the past couple of years and thought she had succeeded too, but obviously not. He was still there in her head, a spectre from her past who refused to budge, and until she rid herself of him then she would never be free to move on. Maybe it had been a mistake to try to blot him out of her mind, to try and forget the heartache he had caused her. Maybe she needed to face up to it, to face up to him?
It was Sean who had called the shots in the past, Sean who had ended their affair too, but maybe she needed to take charge this time—instigate another affair with him and bring it to a conclusion when she decided the time was right. One of the worst things about the whole unhappy experience was the effect it had had on her self-confidence. She’d been left feeling used, feeling like a victim, and she wasn’t prepared to put up with feeling that way any more. This time neither her life nor her heart would be left in tatters. This time she would make sure of that!
‘So what’s it to be then? Are you going to wait for the next bus—a long and undoubtedly chilly wait—or are you going to accept my offer of a lift? I mean we did agree to call a truce, so what’s the problem?’
Sean dredged up a deliberately taunting smile although it wasn’t easy, he had to admit. There was just something about the expression on Molly’s face that had set all his internal alarm bells ringing. He had seen that kind of expression before on other women’s faces and had learned to tread warily until he discovered its cause. Whilst he had no idea what Molly was planning, instinct warned him that he wasn’t going to like it.
‘There isn’t a problem. Why not, if you’re going my way?’
Molly walked round to the passenger’s side and got in, leaving Sean suddenly wishing that he had never made the offer in the first place. The less time he spent with Molly, the better, quite frankly, but he could hardly renege on his offer now. He slid the car into gear and drove out of the gates, his mind racing this way and that. Was Molly plotting something, some sort of payback perhaps for the way he had treated her? It wouldn’t be the first time it had happened, although fortunately he had managed to deflect the woman’s ire before it had caused too much damage. However, if that was what Molly was planning then it might not be as easy to resolve the problem this time. The difference was that he cared about Molly and would hate to do anything that might hurt her even more.
They drove through the centre of the town in silence. Sean was so caught up in wondering what Molly might be planning to do that he found it impossible to make small-talk as he normally would have done. She lived in a tiny terraced cottage close to the river and he drew up outside with a feeling of relief. If she really was looking to pay him back then the best solution was to steer well clear of her. Fair enough, they would still have to work together, but outside of work he would make sure he kept his distance. It was only what he had intended to do after all—stay away from her—so it was surprising how much the idea stung.
‘Right. Here you are. I bet you’re looking forward to getting to bed. I know I am.’
It was meant to be an off-the-cuff remark, a throwaway comment free from any significance. However, the second the words were out of his mouth, Sean regretted them. Why in heaven’s name had he mentioned bed? Stirring up those kinds of memories was the last thing he should be doing!
‘Hmm. It’s always good to snuggle down in a nice warm bed after working nights, isn’t it?’ Molly replied in a tone he had never heard her use before.
Sean felt the hair all over his body spring to attention and then salute. Felt other bits of him follow suit and almost groaned out loud in dismay. When had Molly perfected the art of sounding so … so seductive? Two years ago he would have described her as the girl-next-door: sweet, warm, loving and giving. Now she sounded more like a siren and, worst of all, he was responding to her call! Panic overwhelmed him at that point. It made no difference that he was highly experienced in the ways of women; it still took a massive effort of will to control his baser urges.
‘It is.’ He dredged up a smile, not wanting her to guess how he really felt in case it gave her an advantage. Quite frankly, it seemed to him that she was already holding all the aces. If he didn’t want to end up with the losing hand, then he needed to be extremely careful how he played this game. ‘Right, I’d better be off then. I hope you manage to get your car sorted out.’
‘I hope so too.’ She leant towards him as she unfastened her seat belt and he inwardly shuddered when he felt the warmth of her breath caress his cheek. ‘Thanks for the lift, Sean. I really appreciate it. Can I tempt you to come in for a cup of coffee as a thank you, perhaps?’
Her green eyes stared straight into his and Sean felt his resolve start to crumble away when he saw the invitation they held. It was obvious that coffee wasn’t the only thing on her mind.
‘Thanks but I’d better get straight off home,’ he mumbled, praying that he would manage to hold out long enough to make his excuses and leave, as the tabloid journalists were so fond of saying. ‘There’s a couple of things I need to do this afternoon, so the sooner I get to sleep the better.’
‘Pity. Still, there’s always another time.’ She gave him a lingering smile then opened the car door.
Sean gripped tight hold of the steering wheel as she climbed out, knowing that if he let go he would regret it. He wouldn’t follow her inside the house, he told himself sternly, not on any pretext. Not when he felt this way. He made himself sit there and wait while she unlocked the front door, even managed to wave before he drove away, but his heart was going nineteen to the dozen. He had a very good idea what Molly was plotting, what form her retribution would take. She was planning to seduce him and, once he was under her spell, then undoubtedly she would ditch him exactly as he had done to her. Quite frankly, he wasn’t sure what shocked him most, the fact that sweet, gentle Molly should come up with such a plan, or how much the idea terrified him.
After all, now he knew what was afoot, he could take steps to prevent it happening, couldn’t he? He could resist her overtures and stick to being a colleague and nothing more. It should be easy-peasy but he knew in his heart that it wouldn’t be. The problem was that he wasn’t sure if he could resist if Molly tried to lure him back into her bed. Even though he might know why she was doing it, would it be enough to put him off? Or would the thought of holding her in his arms and experiencing everything he had felt two years ago prove too much?
Sean groaned as he drew up at the traffic lights when they changed to red. Logically, the fact that Molly was simply trying to pay him back for what he had done to her should have been enough to guarantee that he would refuse to get involved with her again. However, it wasn’t his head that was dictating his actions this time but his heart, and his heart was playing by its own rules. There was no guarantee that he could hold out if Molly was determined to get her own way. Absolutely no guarantee at all.
CHAPTER FOUR
MOLLY COULD SCARCELY believe what she had just done. As she made her way into the kitchen and flopped down onto a chair, she could feel her heart thumping. She had just—quite blatantly too—tried to seduce Sean!
She took a deep breath and made herself hold it for the count of ten, but it didn’t help. Her nerves were fizzing, her heart racing, and other bits of her—well, she couldn’t begin to describe what they were doing. Never in all of her twenty-seven years had she done such a thing. All right, so maybe she had decided to be more proactive in her approach to any future relationships, but it was one thing to think about it and another entirely to put it into practice. If Sean had come in for coffee then would she have gone through with it and invited him into her bed as well?
She shot to her feet, unable to deal with the thought or the one that followed it. Had Sean guessed what she was planning and was that why he had been so eager to leave? After all, it wasn’t the first time he had rejected her, was it? Sean had made it perfectly clear two years ago that he wasn’t interested in her and yet she had still gone ahead with her crazy scheme. He was probably laughing his head off at her pathetic attempt to seduce him!
Molly groaned out loud, feeling completely humiliated. How could she face him again after this? She would have to try to change her shifts and avoid working with him, although it wouldn’t be easy to do so. The Christmas and New Year rosters had been prepared weeks ago and making changes at this late stage would create far too many problems. No, she couldn’t see it happening, which meant she would just have to grit her teeth and get on with it. All she could do was pray that he wouldn’t mention what had happened that morning. She honestly didn’t think she could cope with being subjected to any of his teasing remarks or, worse still, becoming the object of his pity.