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Emma wasn’t sure she appreciated that we, although she didn’t correct him. She poured boiling water into the pot then went to fetch the milk out of the fridge. The days when she and Daniel had been a couple were long gone and she, for one, wouldn’t wish them back again.
‘So what do you suggest?’ she asked, adopting a deliberately neutral tone to conceal the pain that thought had aroused, oddly enough.
‘Basically, what we agreed on today. We make sure we do nothing to cause your aunt and uncle any concern.’ He shrugged. ‘Margaret told me that she’s hoping to take Jim to their cottage on the coast while he recuperates, but he’ll refuse to go if he thinks you and I are at loggerheads.’
‘I can assure you that I have no intention of causing a disruption,’ Emma said sharply, trying to ignore the squirmy feeling in the pit of her stomach. It was one thing to agree to a truce but it could be something entirely different to stick to it. Could they really maintain a wholly professional relationship when they had once been lovers?
The fact that she should be experiencing such doubts when she was determined not to let Daniel affect her in any way annoyed her and she glared at him. ‘I said it before but obviously it didn’t sink in so I’ll repeat it. I don’t care enough to fight with you, Daniel. OK?’
‘Good.’ He smiled calmly back at her. ‘It should make life a lot simpler for all of us.’
Emma didn’t say anything as she poured the tea. Daniel obviously believed her and that was all that mattered. She certainly didn’t want him to suspect that she had doubts, not that she really did. She had moved on from the days when splitting up with him had left her feeling utterly devastated.
Of course it must have been easier for him to get over their break-up, she thought as she placed the cups on the table. He had never invested as much of himself into their relationship as she had done. Although he had told her at the time that he loved her, it patently hadn’t been true. He would never have chosen his career over her if he’d felt even a fraction of the love she had felt for him.
She frowned. It made his decision to work in Avondale all the more difficult to understand. Taking time off to come here didn’t make sense when he was so keen to pursue his ambitions. Did he have an ulterior motive? It was what she had accused him of earlier in the day, although she hadn’t seriously believed it. Now she found herself wondering if it was true. As she knew to her cost, Daniel’s career meant more to him than anything else.
Daniel wasn’t sure what was going through Emma’s mind, but he could tell that it wasn’t anything pleasant. He bit back a sigh because he had a nasty feeling that it had something to do with him. Once again he found himself wishing that he hadn’t misled her five years ago, even though he knew that he’d had no choice. He had loved her far too much to let her sacrifice her dreams for him.
‘Are you still working in London?’
He looked up when she spoke, trying to control the surge his pulse gave as his eyes alighted on her face. Although he had been out with a number of extremely attractive women since they’d parted, he had never been tempted to have a long-term relationship with any of them. A few dates and that was it: finito. In fact, he’d gained a bit of a reputation amongst his friends as being a ‘love them and leave them’ kind of guy. He always laughed off the accusation by claiming that he simply hadn’t met the right woman, but now he realised the truth was far more complicated. He had never met anyone who could match up to Emma.
It was an unsettling thought and he tried not to dwell on it as he answered her question. ‘Yes. It’s a busy practice, lots of variety, and I get on well with the rest of the team so I’ve not been tempted to leave.’
‘And they don’t mind you taking time off to work here?’
‘No. They were very sympathetic, in fact,’ Daniel replied, wondering what was behind her sudden interest.
‘It must have caused a problem when you had to drop everything without any warning, though,’ she persisted. ‘Didn’t you say that Uncle Jim had asked you to cover from the end of the month originally?’
‘That’s right. Fortunately, our practice manager was able to juggle the timetable and fit it in.’ He shrugged. ‘It’s worked out quite well, actually. I had some leave owing, so I’m using it up.’
‘Really?’ Her brows rose. ‘You had six whole weeks of leave stored up?’
‘One of the senior partners was pregnant last summer and we couldn’t get locum cover for part of her maternity leave,’ he explained. ‘I offered to carry my leave forward. It’s lucky I did as it turns out.’
‘Hmm, very lucky indeed.’
Daniel frowned when he heard the scepticism in her voice. He wasn’t sure what had caused it and before he could ask, the telephone rang. He stood up before he was tempted to explain that it wasn’t the first time he hadn’t taken his full holiday entitlement. It always seemed like a waste of time, taking time off, when he could be working. Although he had never been driven by personal ambition, he wanted to learn all he could so he could help the people who relied on him for their care. That aim had become even more important since he and Emma had parted.
‘I’ll get that,’ he said briskly. It wouldn’t help the situation to dwell on how much his life had been influenced by what had happened between him and Emma. ‘It’s probably Ruth checking that there’ll be a surgery tonight. Morning surgery had to be cancelled so I expect it will be busy this evening.’
‘I’ll give you a hand when I get back from the hospital,’ Emma offered.
‘That would be great.’ He smiled at her, relieved that she was willing to do her bit to maintain the peace. ‘Thanks.’
He went out to the hall to take the call. As he’d expected, it was the practice receptionist, Ruth Hargreaves. He assured her that surgery would go ahead as scheduled and hung up. There was no sign of Emma when he went back to the kitchen but he heard a car starting up and looked out of the window in time to see her driving away. She hadn’t bothered saying goodbye but why should she? So far as Emma was concerned, she would do what had to be done and that was it. She wasn’t going to suddenly want to become his best friend and he didn’t blame her. He had hurt her badly and the worst thing was knowing that he could never atone for what he had done. Even if he told her the truth, and even if by some miracle she believed him, it was far too late to get back what they’d had.
The waiting room was packed when Emma got back shortly after five p.m. Aunt Margaret had decided to stay the night at the hospital so Emma had come back on her own. Ruth was on the phone when she went in, looking unusually harassed. Emma waited until the receptionist finished the call.
‘Problems?’
‘Oh, just the umpteenth person phoning to see if we’re open.’ Ruth rolled her eyes when the phone rang again the second she put down the receiver. ‘That’ll be another one. I’m sorely tempted to take the wretched thing off the hook!’
‘I don’t blame you.’ Emma smiled sympathetically. ‘I’m helping out tonight so you can send the next patient in to me when you get the chance.’
‘Will do.’
Ruth snatched up the receiver as Emma made her way along the corridor. There were two consulting rooms and she guessed that Daniel would be using the one her uncle normally used. She made her way to the other room and switched on the light. The room hadn’t been used very often since her uncle’s partner had retired some years ago. Although Uncle Jim had tried to find a replacement, few doctors had been keen to relocate to the area. The younger ones thought the town too quiet to consider living there permanently, while the older ones weren’t willing to cope with the difficulties of the job.
As well as caring for the townsfolk, the practice provided care for the people living on the outlying farms. Some home visits could be extremely difficult to reach, especially during the winter months. The few candidates who had applied for the post had soon lost interest when they’d discovered what the job had entailed, so in the end her uncle had given up advertising and run the surgery single-handed. However, if the number of patients in the waiting room was anything to go by, it really needed more than one doctor to run the practice.
It was something that needed thinking about in view of her uncle’s health, Emma decided. However, there was no time to worry about it right then. A knock on the door heralded the arrival of her first patient, a young woman who looked vaguely familiar. Emma smiled at her.
‘Please sit down. I’m Dr Roberts. I’m helping out while my uncle is in hospital.’
‘Oh, I remember you!’ the young woman exclaimed. ‘You were in the same class at school as my sister—Cathy Martindale. Remember her?’
‘Of course I do.’ Emma laughed. ‘No wonder you look so familiar. You’re very like Cathy. How is she, by the way?’
‘She’s fine. She lives in Leeds now with her husband and her two little boys.’
‘Tell her I was asking about her, will you?’ Emma picked up the folder of notes that the girl had brought in with her. ‘So, Judith, what can I do for you today?’
‘It’s my periods, Dr Roberts. They’re so heavy and irregular that they’re causing me a real problem. I also suffer the most awful pain in my tummy and lower back each time it happens.’
‘I see. How long has this been going on?’ Emma asked.
‘About a year now. I came off the Pill eighteen months ago because my husband and I want to start a family. My periods were very erratic after I stopped taking it, but I thought everything would settle down once the drugs were out of my system. Instead, it’s just got worse.’
‘Have you had any other symptoms? Pain on having intercourse, perhaps?’
‘Yes.’ Judith blushed. ‘I’ve never had a problem before, but recently I dread making love with David because it’s so uncomfortable.’
‘Which doesn’t help when you’re hoping to have a baby,’ Emma said sympathetically, standing up. ‘I’ll just check your blood pressure and then I’d like to examine you, if that’s all right?’
‘Oh, yes, of course it is.’ Judith sounded relieved as she slipped off her coat. ‘I’ve been putting off coming for weeks, to be honest. Dr Haynes is lovely, but I felt so embarrassed about having to explain it all to him. I couldn’t believe my luck when Ruth told me I’d be seeing you tonight!’
‘Good.’ Emma laughed, although she couldn’t help wondering how many other women were delaying making appointments because they felt uncomfortable about discussing their problems with an elderly male doctor.
She checked Judith’s BP, which was fine, then asked her to undress and lie on the couch while she examined her. She gently palpated her abdomen and then performed an internal examination but could find nothing to indicate what was causing the problem. Judith had had a smear test the previous month and that had come back clear.
‘And there’s been no other symptoms at all?’ she asked after Judith had got dressed again. ‘Not even something that is apparently unrelated?’
‘No … well, apart from the fact that I’ve had several bouts of diarrhoea. It’s not something I’ve ever suffered from before, but it’s happened a few times lately. Either that or I get constipated,’ Judith added, grimacing.
‘I see.’ Emma frowned thoughtfully as she considered what she’d heard. ‘It’s possible that you’re suffering from endometriosis, although I wouldn’t like to make a final diagnosis without sending you for some tests first. However, the symptoms you described could point towards it being that.’
‘Endometriosis?’ Judith repeated. ‘What’s that? I’ve never heard of it.’
‘It’s when tiny pieces of the lining of the womb, the endometrium, are shed during menstruation but don’t pass out of the body. Instead they travel up the Fallopian tubes into the pelvic cavity and attach themselves to the pelvic organs. They continue to respond to your menstrual cycle so each month they bleed, but because the blood can’t escape, it causes cysts to form. And they’re the cause of most of the pain and discomfort.’
‘How weird!’ Judith exclaimed. ‘And you think that’s what is wrong with me?’
‘I think it’s worth investigating further.’ Emma brought up the relevant document on the computer and filled in the patient’s details. She glanced at Judith. ‘You need to be seen by a gynaecologist so I’ll organise an appointment for you. Basically, what it means is that your pelvic cavity will need to be examined. It’s done by using a laparoscope, which is a special instrument that’s passed through the wall of the abdomen. There’s a tiny camera on the end of it so the gynaecologist can see what’s going on inside you.’
‘It sounds horrible,’ Judith said, shuddering.
‘It’ll be fine,’ Emma assured her. ‘And it will be worth having it done if it means we can sort out this problem you have.’
‘If I do have this endometriosis, how will you treat it?’
‘It depends how severe it is. Drugs can be very effective in some cases. In others, where the cysts are very large, surgery to remove them is the best option. Pregnancy can also suppress the condition.’
‘So I can still have a baby?’ Judith asked anxiously.
‘Yes, although it’s only fair to warn you that endometriosis can affect your fertility. However, let’s find out if my diagnosis is correct before we worry about that.’ Emma tried to sound as positive as she could but she could tell that Judith was upset by the thought that she might not have the baby she longed for.
Emma saw her out and buzzed for her next patient. The evening flew past and before she knew it, it was time to pack up for the night. She collected up the files she had used and took them into the office. Ruth looked up from the computer and smiled at her. She had worked at the practice for many years and had watched Emma growing up so there was no question of her standing on ceremony.
‘I bet you’re sorry you came home now, aren’t you, love?’
‘It did cross my mind,’ Emma replied, jokingly. She held up the files. ‘You’d think we should be able to do away with all this paperwork now that we have computers to help us.’
‘I wish!’ Ruth replied cheerfully. ‘The trouble is that computers have a nasty habit of breaking down, so we need the files as back-up.’
‘I suppose so.’
Emma looked round when she heard footsteps in the corridor, feeling her pulse surge when Daniel appeared in the doorway. She had been too stressed about seeing him again to take much notice earlier in the day, but all of a sudden she found herself taking stock of the changes the past few years had wrought. Although he was still extremely good looking with those craggy, very masculine features and that thick dark hair, there were lines on his face that hadn’t been there five years before, an underlying sadness in his hazel eyes that surprised her. Daniel looked as though he had suffered some kind of sorrow in his life and she couldn’t help wondering what had happened. Was it possible that he had fallen in love and been let down?
The thought sent a shaft of pain searing through her. Emma bit her lip to contain the cry that threatened to emerge. That Daniel might have experienced the same kind of unhappiness as she had done when they’d parted should have filled her with a certain satisfaction, but it didn’t. All she felt was an overwhelming sense of grief that he might have loved some other woman more than he had loved her.
‘I hope it isn’t always as busy as that?’ He grinned at Ruth. ‘Sure you didn’t ring round all the patients and ask them to call in tonight so you could put me through my paces?’
‘How did you guess?’ Ruth winked at Emma. ‘Drat! We’ve been found out.’
‘I … um … it looks like it.’ Emma did her best to respond to the teasing comment but it wasn’t easy. The thought of Daniel loving another woman was more painful than it had any right to be. She was over him and it shouldn’t matter, but it did. She took a quick breath to control the pain when she saw him look at her in surprise. ‘We’re only joking, Daniel.’
‘That’s good to hear.’ He smiled coolly. ‘I’d hate to think you had it in for me, Emma.’
Emma flushed when she heard the irony in his voice. She turned away, busying herself with placing the files she’d used in the tray. By the time Daniel added his, it was brimming over. ‘Do you want me to put these away so you can have a clear run in the morning?’ she offered.
‘There’s no need. Dr Haynes took on a part-time receptionist at Christmas,’ Ruth explained. ‘There was some sort of wretched tummy bug doing the rounds and I was snowed under with all the extra paperwork. Claire comes in three mornings a week and helps with the filing, et cetera. We’ll soon get everything sorted out between us.’
‘Oh, right. That’s fine.’ Emma placed the referral letter she’d printed in the tray for posting. ‘There’s just the one letter that needs sending as well.’
‘And I’ve got another one here.’
Daniel leant past her and dropped his letter on top of hers. Emma tried not to flinch when his shoulder brushed against her but he must have felt the small involuntary jerk she gave. He stepped back, his face betraying very little as he told Ruth that he would lock up and set the alarm.
Emma took it as her cue to leave. She murmured a general goodbye and hurriedly left. Although the surgery was attached to the house, it was completely self-contained and she had to walk round to the front door to let herself in. She hung her coat in the hall then made her way to the sitting room to turn on the gas fire. Although the central heating was switched on, the house still felt chilly.
She sighed. It probably felt chilly because her body hadn’t adjusted to the change in temperature yet. When she’d left South Africa early that morning the temperature had been in the high 30s, so it was bound to be a shock to her system to be plunged back into the tail end of a British winter. Still, she would soon adapt.
Emma looked round in surprise when she heard the front door open. It slammed shut and a moment later she heard footsteps crossing the hall. Her heart was already racing when Daniel appeared, even though she had no idea what he wanted.
‘Oh, good. You’ve got the fire going. It’s a lot colder up here than it is in London,’ he observed, crossing the room to warm his hands.
‘I suppose it is,’ Emma agreed uncertainly. She frowned when she realised that he wasn’t wearing a coat. He’d had it on earlier so why had he taken it off? A horrible suspicion started to rear its head and she stared at him in alarm. ‘What are you doing here, Daniel?’
‘At this precise moment, I’m trying to warm up. But give me a couple of minutes and I’ll make myself useful.’
‘Useful?’
‘Uh-huh. I’ll cook dinner tonight. It doesn’t seem fair to expect you to do it after the day you’ve had.’
‘Cook dinner?’ Emma took a quick breath when she realised that she was repeating everything he said. ‘Why on earth would you want to cook dinner?’
‘Because we both need to eat,’ he replied reasonably. He glanced at her, the light from the fire reflecting in his eyes so that she found it impossible to read his expression. ‘We can work out a rota if you prefer, but tonight I’ll cook.’
He straightened up and headed for the door but Emma knew that she couldn’t let him leave before she found out what was going on. ‘Why do we need a rota? Surely you’ll be having dinner wherever you’re staying? Most of the guest houses will provide an evening meal if you ask them to.’
‘Your aunt hasn’t told you, then?’ He stopped and turned, and she could see the concern on his face. It made her feel even more alarmed. ‘Told me what?’ she snapped. ‘That I’m staying here.’
CHAPTER THREE
‘EVERYTHING happened so fast that there was no time to arrange accommodation before I left London. I was going to sort something out when I got here, but Margaret insisted that I stay at the house.’
Daniel shrugged but he could tell from the frozen expression on Emma’s face that the news had come as a shock to her. ‘I can’t see that it will cause a problem, Emma, but if you aren’t happy with the arrangement then, of course, I’ll find somewhere else.’
‘There’s no need,’ she said stiffly. ‘If Aunt Margaret invited you to stay, I’m certainly not going to object.’
‘Fine. If you change your mind, though, just let me know.’
Daniel managed to maintain an outward show of indifference as he left the sitting room, but he sighed as he headed for the kitchen. Emma’s reaction to the news that they would be sharing the house was upsetting but what did he expect? It might have been different if her aunt and uncle had been there, but she probably didn’t relish the idea of them being on their own. All he could do now was monitor the situation and find somewhere else if it looked as though it was going to create friction.
It was the logical solution, although it didn’t make him feel good to know that he was persona non grata so far as Emma was concerned. He tried not to dwell on it as he made a start on dinner. He was just mashing the potatoes to go with the lamb chops and green beans he had cooked when Emma appeared.
‘I’ll set the table.’
She busied herself with place mats and cutlery, glasses for water and condiments. Daniel suspected that it was displacement activity, aimed at taking her mind off the thought of eating with him. He couldn’t help feeling sad as he remembered all the other meals they had shared—impromptu picnics in the country, lunches in one of the local pubs. It hadn’t mattered what they’d eaten or where because they’d always enjoyed it. Just being together had added extra zest to the food.
‘Remember that meal we had at the Golden Goose?’
Emma’s voice cut into his thoughts and he felt a tingle run through him. That she had been recalling the good times they’d had seemed too much of a coincidence, yet why should it be? It wasn’t the first time their thoughts had been so in tune. Maybe there was still some kind of connection between them.
Daniel hurriedly quashed that thought. He couldn’t allow himself to think like that; it was too dangerous. ‘Not really,’ he replied offhandedly.
He spooned mashed potato onto the plates, ignoring the flicker of hurt that crossed her face. He was doing this for her sake. They couldn’t go back and they couldn’t go forward either. Not together. Leaving aside the fact that Emma no longer loved him, the old objections were as valid today as they had been five years ago. He knew from what Jim had told him that Emma was determined to make consultant one day. If that was to happen then he knew that she needed to remain completely focused. If she failed to achieve her goal, she would regret it just as much as she would have done if she’d given up surgery all together.
Daniel’s heart was heavy as he carried the plates over to the table. Even if Emma was prepared to give them a second chance—which she wasn’t!—there was no future for them. ‘I hope this is all right for you. There’s no gravy, I’m afraid. I’ve never mastered the art of making decent gravy.’
‘It’s fine. Thank you.’
Her tone was painfully polite and it cut him to the quick to know that she was deliberately distancing herself from him. He didn’t react, however, as he pulled out a chair and sat down because there was nothing he could do that would help. Emma sat down as well and began to eat. Apart from the faint clatter of cutlery, the room was silent and Daniel could feel the tension mounting as the minutes passed. He searched his mind for something uncontroversial to say, but all he could come up with was work. Still, it was better than nothing.
‘How did you get on tonight?’
‘Fine, thank you.’ Emma forked a little potato into her mouth. She chewed and swallowed it then looked at him. ‘How about you?’
‘Oh, yes, fine. Thanks.’ Daniel inwardly groaned when he heard the stilted note in his voice. This was hardly the best way to improve the atmosphere, was it?
He cleared his throat and tried again. ‘I was surprised by how busy it was, to be honest. I know morning surgery had to be cancelled, but even so I didn’t expect that many patients to turn up. Did you?’