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A slight breeze tugged at her dress. She shouldn’t enjoy this taste of freedom as much as she did, but every now and again, it was nice to not be Naomi the widow, Naomi the mother of a child with special needs, Naomi the bakery employee, but just Naomi. As a small blue car whizzed by, she jumped to the side of the road.
In a few days, the early daffodils would be in full bloom. Tulips’ leaves peeked above the ground. The buds lining the tree’s twigs were about to burst open. Spring.
Amid the back-and-forth calls of the cardinals in the trees came the clip-clop of a horse’s hooves. Which of her neighbors was out and about? She turned and groaned. Nein. Not him.
Elam held the horse’s reins in one hand and waved at her, a smile deepening the creases around his mouth. “Gut morgan, Naomi. I’m glad I found you.” He slowed Prancer, his shiny black buggy horse, to keep pace with her. “I stopped at your house to pick you up, and your mamm told me you had left already. She said you were on your way to the store, but she didn’t know about the meeting.”
Naomi sucked in her breath. “You told Mamm about it? You had no right to do that.”
He pushed back his straw hat. “How was I supposed to know you didn’t tell her?”
“Well, I mean, you should have, it’s just that...” She sighed. Elam was right. She shouldn’t have kept that information from her parents. But when she got home, she would have to see the double disappointment on their faces. “Fine. You weren’t at fault. But I didn’t ask for a ride.”
“I know you didn’t, but I thought it might be nice.”
She kept walking.
“Naomi.”
The clicking of the horse’s hooves behind her halted. Elam’s footsteps approached. “Come on. You can’t stop talking to me forever.”
“Ja, I can.”
“See, you already spoke three words.”
Despite herself, the corners of her mouth turned up. He always did have this way of making her smile, of keeping her from being too serious. That’s one of the things she loved about him. Had loved. Didn’t love anymore. But he did have a point. She stopped. “Fine. You win this time. It would be silly of me to walk when you’re going that way.”
Once they were both settled in the closed buggy, Elam clicked to the horse, and they trotted off. Several times, she caught him glancing at her from the corner of his eyes. Finally, she had to say something. “What do you keep looking at?”
“Can we agree to be civil to each other? At least while we work on the auction.”
“I’m always polite.”
“Glad to hear that.” His words were clipped and short. Had she offended him? How, by being cordial?
She didn’t have time to mull over the thought as they arrived at the bakery. They slipped around to the back, went up the stairs and knocked on the door. Sylvia answered, a few salt-and-pepper hairs escaping from under her kapp. “Ach, how gut to see both of you. I was just dozing off, so forgive how I look. Let me put the kettle on for some tea.”
Even though Elam entered, Naomi stood firm in the doorway. “We’re sorry to disturb you. Please, go back to your nap. You must be exhausted.”
Sylvia waved her in. “Nonsense. The place is too quiet without Simon. I just sat down with my sewing to give my old bones a rest, and I can’t keep my eyes open.”
“How is he doing?” Naomi brushed shoulders with Elam as she entered, a shiver racing through her. Once inside, she stood a few feet away from him.
“Grumbling that the hospital meals aren’t as good as mine and that the nurses don’t let him sleep. In other words, he’s much like his old self.” A twinkle sparkled in Sylvia’s blue eyes. “Another few days there, and then he’ll be my problem. Now, Simon had something he wanted me to give the two of you. Sit at the table, and I’ll be right back.”
She hustled out of the room as Elam and Naomi took their seats, Sylvia’s basket of needles and thread on the table, small scissors and a pair of pants beside it. Naomi shifted her feet. “We shouldn’t be bothering her.”
“She told us to come. We won’t stay long, just enough to get Simon’s notes. I do have another surprise for you, though.” He winked, and her cheeks burned. Why did her insides flutter when he played so coy with her? Daniel had been gone only a little over a year.
Naomi rose, drew an old, stained mug from the cabinet and set about making tea. Even if they wouldn’t stay to enjoy it, Sylvia would benefit from a cup.
Before the kettle whistled, Sylvia lumbered in, a large cardboard box in her hands. “Oh dear, I didn’t realize how heavy this was.” She plunked it on the table, worn from many family and community meals.
Elam stood and peered inside. “What is all this?”
“Everything Simon says you’ll need to finish the preparations for the auction. You’ll find his contacts for the auction house, the list of donated items and whatever else you might have to have. I don’t know exactly the full contents. He always handled every little detail, so you might have quite a job on your hands figuring out what is what and what you need to do.”
Naomi brought over the steaming cup of tea. The sweet fragrance of chamomile was homey. Her muscles, tense since Elam had driven up behind her, relaxed. She set the mug in front of Sylvia. “Elam will get it straight. Don’t you or Simon worry about a thing. Enjoy your tea, and we’ll leave you in peace.”
“You’ve only just come.”
“And now we must go. We have Aaron’s old wheelchair, the one he used before he got the motorized version, so if your husband needs it, let us know.”
“Denki. You really are too good to an old woman like me. And you, too, Elam, for doing this.”
“I’m grateful to Simon for giving me a chance to get back into the district’s good graces.”
They said their goodbyes, Elam carried the box out and Naomi started down the driveway so she could get to the grocery store.
“Hey, where are you going?” Elam made his way around the Englisch in their usual long line for baked goods.
“I told you. Mamm needs brown sugar.”
“But I’m going to take you to see a surprise. Have you already forgotten?”
In the same way the women ogled the new baby in church, the Englisch watched Elam and Naomi. She squirmed under the intense scrutiny. This is why she didn’t really want to speak with the papers. She didn’t want to be any more of a spectacle to the Englisch.
With no other choice, she marched to where Elam waited with his buggy. When she got close enough, she hissed at him. “In the future, please refrain from shouting at me in public. Or anytime at all. I have to be on my way. Joseph will wake from his nap and be ready to eat.”
“I won’t keep you long, I promise. When we’re finished, I’ll run you to the store and then home. You’ll be back sooner than you would have been had you walked everywhere.”
Maybe if she gave him what he wanted, she could be rid of him faster.
Probably not.
With a sigh, she climbed into the buggy.
* * *
After a short ride from the bakery, Elam reined Prancer to a halt near a tree on the far side of the parking lot in front of the large, rectangular red-and-silver metal pole barn used for auctions. Most of the time, the Englisch used it to sell their produce.
Naomi hadn’t cracked a smile since they left the Herschbergers’. And she pulled her frown down farther as they sat in the buggy and stared at the building. What could he do to get her to grin? “What do you think of my surprise?”
“I’m supposed to be surprised?”
“You didn’t think I’d bring you here, did you?”
“As far as surprises go, it’s about as good as an unplanned root canal.”
A hearty chuckle burst from Elam, and even Naomi gave a soft laugh. Ach, so much more like it. “Point taken. Next time I surprise you with something, it will be better. I promise.”
“Why are we here?”
“Because my mind has been whirring since Simon asked us to finish the plans for the auction. I have so many ideas, but I need your help.” He jumped from the buggy.
Naomi climbed down before he could assist her. “There’s not much to do. We set up the bakery items over there, the plants and such here, the tools there and everything else inside. Like it’s always been done.”
“That’s fine, as far as it goes, but we have to think bigger and grander if we want to raise more money. Like maybe having one of those shaved ice trucks I’ve seen at the county fairs. If it’s a hot, sunny day, that should bring in an extra boost of cash.”
“I’m not sure. Shouldn’t we limit our offerings to Amish-produced items? Isn’t that why the Englisch come? They can get shaved ice everywhere.”
“But it would be a big seller. We have to continue to add new offerings and change things around, or we won’t get repeat customers from year to year.”
She shook her head and pulled her eyebrows into a deep V. “While it’s fine to search for ways to improve the auction and increase proceeds, those who come are looking for a uniquely Amish experience. They wouldn’t appreciate seeing a vendor they could find at any county fair. We’ve always done things the same way, and it’s always worked. Have you changed so much you don’t remember?”
He huffed. Naomi was the most stubborn woman he’d ever met. Time hadn’t changed that. “Can’t you see how gut this will be for the auction?”
“And slowly, you’ll take away everything Amish about it until it’s like any other craft fair. I think including a silent auction for those who don’t like to bid with others watching is a much better idea.”
“And I think I’m going to find out how we go about getting a shaved ice truck.”
“Whatever you want to do is fine with me.” She waved as if dismissing him. “You have my blessing. Can we go now?”
He deflated a little. “I thought you’d be more excited.”
“This is your project, not mine.”
“Why won’t you help me?”
She faced him, red blooming on her cheeks. “Why not? You’re kidding me. You really don’t know the answer to that question? Let me tick off the reasons for you. My brother and his permanent disability. Your leaving me. My humiliation in the district when you took off. Isn’t that enough?”
He stepped back. “It was an accident, Naomi, nothing more than that. I never set out to harm your brother. Or you.” Maybe putting this together with her wasn’t the best idea in the world. But like it or not, they were stuck on the project. “I was young and foolish. And scared. And you turned your back to me, refused to even listen to me. But as we work together, you’ll see I’ve grown up. Give me the chance to show you that I’m not the same man who left three years ago.” His heart banged in his chest.
She paced in small circles, her focus on the gravel at her feet. “I’m sorry to have gotten so angry with you.” She kicked at a stone with her bare feet.
“Can we put aside our differences long enough to make this work? Neither of us wants to go to Sylvia or Simon and tell them we can’t do it.”
“You’re right.”
“Does that mean you’ll partner with me?”
“Partner, no. Give you a helping hand from time to time, fine. I give up, because you’ll pester me until I agree.”
The way she said it was almost like he was a bully. “I don’t want to pressure you.”
“I said fine. I’ll make sure the quilts come in and get organized, along with the donated items. And arrange the bakery sales. What else?”
He sighed. One major obstacle overcame. They spent the next few minutes reviewing a list of items that needed to be taken care of, one he’d written up last night while the gas lamp hissed overhead. With the box from Simon, the list was sure to grow.
“Is that enough for now? I don’t want to overwhelm you since you have Joseph to look after and your job.”
“That will be gut. I’ll let you know when I have this finished.”
“One more thing. The papers. You never answered me if you would go to the press and share Joseph’s story with them. It’s sure to bring in many more tourists. The story is moving and should compel the Englisch to come and buy our products. Raise more money.”
Naomi rubbed her prayer kapp string between her fingers. “There are so many needs in the district right now. Like Simon. He’ll need help, too. And your daed.”
“All the more reason to sell as much as we can. What harm will it do? We’ll tell them no pictures. No Englischer will even know it’s you.”
“They won’t?”
“If the paper wants the story, they’ll have to publish it anonymously.”
“They’d do that?”
“I believe they would.”
She scrunched up her forehead. “Can I give you my answer in a few days? I have to think.”
“Sure. But don’t wait too long. We’ll need time for the interviews and for people to make their plans.” A streak of lightning and a quick crack of thunder brought Elam’s attention to the sky. When had the thick, black clouds rolled in? A gust of wind pulled his straw hat from his head and sent it skittering across the parking lot. He gave chase to it, several more bolts of lightning brightening the now-dusky afternoon.
He and Naomi raced for the buggy. She fell behind.
“Ah.” Her cry cut through the rolling thunder. “Elam.”
He turned. She’d fallen, her bare shin scratched and bloodied. The first fat drops of water fell to the gravel. He hurried and helped her up. While they ran, he kept a hold of her, the rain pelting them. They finally reached the buggy, the fierce wind buffeting it, and it swayed side to side. Now soaked to the skin, they climbed aboard.
Naomi shivered, and he pulled her to himself. They used to be close like this.
A streak of light. A deafening crack. The ground shook.
Kaboom.
Naomi shrieked.
The tree they were next to split in half and crashed to the earth, missing the buggy to each side.
She trembled in his arms.
He held her close and whispered against her cheek. “Hush now. We’re safe.”
But would his heart ever be?
Chapter Five
Only the clinking of silverware on the dinner plates broke the silence around the Yoders’ large farmhouse table. Mamm loaded Daed’s plate with another heap of creamed corn. He grasped his fork with his left hand, his right one paralyzed by the stroke, and tried to shovel the vegetable into his mouth.
Much of it ended up back on the plate or in his lap. He grunted, the right of his mouth downturned. “Can’t even eat properly.” He thunked his fork onto his dish, pushed away from the table and reached for his walker.
Elam jumped to his feet and grasped his daed by the elbow to help him to stand.
Daed shook him off. “I don’t need your help. I’m capable of getting out of a chair.”
“I just thought it would be easier...”
“Easier. That’s what you always want, isn’t it?”
Elam scrunched his eyebrows as he stared at his daed. When had the lines formed around his eyes? When had he become an old man? “I don’t understand what you mean.”
“You run away when times get hard. Now you’re back, but for how long? A week? A month? A year?”
“You know I’m back to stay. I came to give you a hand until Isaac returns, but I’m not leaving the district again.”
“I don’t need your help. We could manage just fine.”
Mamm shook her head as she carried the dishes to the sink. “Nein, we weren’t managing at all until Elam came home. How would the crops get planted if not for him? Don’t be a foolish old man. We need his help.” She turned and smiled over her shoulder. “He came on his own, volunteered to do this. Let’s not turn him away.”
Elam sucked in a breath. Is that what Daed wanted to do? Open the door and give him a shove outside?
“Nobody said anything about that.” The muscles on the good side of Daed’s face strained as he pulled himself to a standing position. “Just didn’t ask for his help.” He shuffled out of the kitchen, the back door slamming behind him.
Mamm returned to the table with a dishrag in one hand. She patted Elam’s cheek. “Don’t be so glum. I hate to see you sad like this.” Many laugh lines crinkled around her eyes and mouth. Over the years, she had plenty to be happy about. And plenty of heartaches to cry over.
“He barely tolerates my being here. Even across the table from me at dinner, he glances my way only when necessary. When Isaac returns, he’ll be happier.”
“That’s not true. He loves you.”
“You can’t convince me.”
“He’s afraid he’s going to lose you again. He couldn’t stand that, you know.”
“Why does no one believe that I’m staying put?”
“Give them time to see you’re sincere. When troubles come and you face them head-on, then they’ll trust you.”
“And can they forgive me? Forget the past?”
Her face softened, and she stared at a spot behind him. “That I cannot answer for anyone else.”
When she set to washing the dishes, he wandered outside, the early spring evening cool. Daed wasn’t on the porch. Where could he have gone? In the short time Elam had been home, he’d built a ramp so Daed didn’t have to negotiate the stairs. Mamm had thanked him. Daed had not.
A light shone from one of the barn’s windows, the one that held Daed’s office. Elam walked down the porch steps, across the dusty yard and into the barn, the odors of hay and cows as familiar to him as the smells of Mamm’s apple pie. The animals munched their dinner, lowing songs to each other. On a bale in the far corner, the new litter of kittens mewed.
He entered the office through the open door, Daed at the desk, scratching in the account books with a pencil, his lips drawn tight as he struggled to use his left hand.
“Do you have a few minutes?”
Daed grunted, not even glancing at Elam. “What is it you want?” Even with therapy, his speech remained slurred.
“I’ll do those figures for you later.”
“I’m capable. There may be much I can’t do anymore, but writing is one thing I can. And figuring numbers.”
“I just thought...” This was getting off to a terrible beginning. Best to start over. “What do you have against me?”
“Nothing. You’re my son. But sometimes, I wonder. You always were...” Daed squeezed his eyes shut and furrowed his brow. Sometimes he couldn’t recall the word he needed.
“Independent.”
“Ja, and stubborn and strong-willed. What are you doing here? Why did you truly come back?”
Elam’s windpipe tightened. “I missed this place and the people. And it was time to stop running, to face up to what I did. I didn’t realize that making amends would be so hard.”
“You can’t walk back into people’s lives and expect them to let go of what happened like that. You—” Daed pointed straight at Elam’s heart “—have to prove yourself.”
Isn’t that what he’d been doing? How long was it going to take? So far, he hadn’t made headway with anyone. Including Naomi.
“Time and hard work. That’s what you need.”
Had Daed heard his thoughts? Elam puffed out a breath, then spun on his heel and left the office and the barn. He stood in the farmyard and stared at the multitude of stars in the sky. In the city lights of Madison, they got lost. Here, they were almost close enough to touch.
In order to show the people of the district he wasn’t the man who left, he would have to start with Aaron’s family. Already, he had upset Naomi. He shouldn’t have dismissed her objections to the shaved ice the way he had. If he admitted so to her, perhaps they could work together better.
Aaron sat in a wheelchair for the rest of his life. If that’s the amount of time it took for Elam to make amends for the accident, then that’s how long he would work for it.
* * *
Naomi pressed her nose against the window of Frank’s van. Joseph was peacefully sleeping in the car seat beside her. In her hand, she held the information for his surgery. The one he needed sooner rather than later, according to the information the doctor had just shared. Naomi leaned over her son and whispered. “Dear God, protect my baby. Make him strong. Make me strong. Help us get through this.”
Elam was correct. This year, there were many medical needs in the district. Much as she hated to admit it, she had to work with him on the auction. He was going to bring Simon’s box and meet her at her home to go through it. She would have to be as nice to him as possible. They would get nothing done if they argued.
She rubbed her upper arms. The way Elam held her during the storm warmed her through and through. For a brief glimmer of time, she was safe. Cared for. He watched out for her.
But Aaron would always be a reminder of what happened that night Elam betrayed her trust. He’d broken her brother’s body and her heart. She wouldn’t let Elam back into her life. No matter that Simon threw them together to organize the auction.
Maybe Elam did have a point about the papers, though. Perhaps if she gave them an interview, people would be interested and would come from all over the state to the auction.
Her palms dampened at the thought of having to talk to the reporters. What would they ask her? What would she say?
Just as Frank turned into the driveway, Elam pulled his buggy in behind them. She unbuckled Joseph’s car seat and stepped out with a wave to Frank.
Elam came toward them and tickled Joseph’s tummy, and the now-awake bobbeli squealed. “I hope the doctor had nothing but good things to say.”
“She said it was time to schedule the surgery. He’s going to have it in July.”
“That’s gut, isn’t it?” He grasped one of his black suspenders.
“Ja, I suppose.” So why did her head ache?
He touched her arm. She stepped away. “Please, don’t.”
Nein, she couldn’t rely on him for help and comfort. But her chest ached. Some nights, alone in her room, she cried herself to sleep. How much lonelier it would be when she moved to the dawdi haus. “Come in. We can start sorting through the papers.”
He grabbed the box from his buggy and followed her into the house. Mamm took Joseph and Naomi and Elam settled at the table, the large box between them.
He cleared his throat, and she gazed at him. An uneven red flush mottled his neck. “First of all, I want to apologize for the other day.”
“You...you do?” Why did her stomach dip the way it did?
“Ja. I shouldn’t have dismissed your ideas the way I did. That was inconsiderate of me. You make a gut point. This is an Amish auction, not an Englisch one. All the other items we offer come from our communities. We should forget the shaved ice truck.”
“Having a hard time finding a vendor?” She flashed him a playful grin.
The red creeped into his cheeks. “Well, now that you mention it.” He chuckled, his coloring returning to normal. “I’m not incapable of seeing reason. You were right. I was wrong.”
Warmth seeped into her chest. The old Elam rarely admitted his mistakes. “Denki for your apology. Offering a cold treat on a warm day was a nice thought. Is there an alternative to the shaved ice?”
Elam stroked his clean-shaven cheek. “Your family makes the best ice cream I’ve ever had. Just vanilla, but there is a secret ingredient in there, say not?”
“There is, but you want to make ice cream? How are we going have enough for all those people?”
“That’s a good question.”
“Multiple machines hooked up to generators?”
He grinned, and her arms broke out in gooseflesh. She focused on the pencil in her hand.
“That’s a great idea. Maybe someone in the district has a large-capacity churn.”
“I’ll ask around at the church service next week.”
For a long while, they sorted through the papers, Naomi jotting notes on a yellow legal pad, filling several pages with people they needed to contact, payments that had to be made and ideas they had.