Anna Karenina / Анна Каренина
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She gave him her hand, and they set off side by side, going faster and faster, and the more rapidly they moved the more tightly she grasped his hand.
“With you I should soon learn; I somehow feel confidence in you,” she said to him.
“And I have confidence in myself when you are leaning on me,” he said, but was at once panic-stricken at what he had said, and blushed. And indeed, no sooner had he uttered these words, when all at once, like the sun going behind a cloud, her face lost all its friendliness, and Levin detected the familiar change in her expression that denoted the working of thought; a crease showed on her smooth brow.
“Is there anything troubling you? – though I've no right to ask such a question,” he added hurriedly.
“Oh, why so?.. No, I have nothing to trouble me,” she responded coldly; and she added immediately: “You haven't seen Mlle. Linon, have you?”
“Not yet.”
“Go and speak to her, she likes you so much.”
“What's wrong? I have offended her. Lord help me!” thought Levin, and he flew towards the old Frenchwoman with the gray ringlets, who was sitting on a bench. Smiling and showing her false teeth, she greeted him as an old friend.
“Yes, you see we're growing up,” she said to him, glancing towards Kitty, “and growing old.Tiny bear has grown big now!” pursued the Frenchwoman, laughing, and she reminded him of his joke about the three young ladies whom he had compared to the three bears in the English nursery tale. “Do you remember that's what you used to call them?”
He remembered absolutely nothing, but she had been laughing at the joke for ten years now, and was fond of it.
“Now, go and skate, go and skate. Our Kitty has learned to skate nicely, hasn't she?”
When Levin darted up to Kitty her face was no longer stern; her eyes looked at him with the same sincerity and friendliness, but Levin fancied that in her friendliness there was a certain note of deliberate composure. And he felt depressed. After talking a little of her old governess and her peculiarities, she questioned him about his life.
“Surely you must be dull in the country in the winter, aren't you?” she said.
“No, I'm not dull, I am very busy,” he said, feeling that she was holding him in check by her composed tone, which he would not have the force to break through, just as it had been at the beginning of the winter.
“Are you going to stay in town long?” Kitty questioned him.
“I don't know,” he answered, not thinking of what he was saying. The thought that if he were held in check by her tone of quiet friendliness he would end by going back again without deciding anything came into his mind, and he resolved to make a struggle against it.
“How is it you don't know?”
“I don't know. It depends upon you,” he said, and was immediately horror-stricken at his own words.
Whether it was that she had heard his words, or that she did not want to hear them, she made a sort of stumble, twice struck out, and hurriedly skated away from him. She skated up to Mlle. Linon, said something to her, and went towards the pavilion where the ladies took off their skates.
“My God! what have I done! Merciful God! help me, guide me,” said Levin, praying inwardly, and at the same time, feeling a need of violent exercise, he skated about describing inner and outer circles.
At that moment one of the young men, the best of the skaters of the day, came out of the coffee-house in his skates, with a cigarette in his mouth. Taking a run, he dashed down the steps in his skates, crashing and bounding up and down. He flew down, and without even changing the position of his hands, skated away over the ice.
“Ah, that's a new trick!” said Levin, and he promptly ran up to the top to do this new trick.
“Don't break your neck! it needs practice!” Nikolay Shtcherbatsky shouted after him.
Levin went to the steps, took a run from above as best he could, and dashed down, preserving his balance in this unwonted movement with his hands. On the last step he stumbled, but barely touching the ice with his hand, with a violent effort recovered himself, and skated off, laughing.
“How splendid, how nice he is!” Kitty was thinking at that time, as she came out of the pavilion with Mlle. Linon, and looked towards him with a smile of quiet affection, as though he were a favorite brother. “And can it be my fault, can I have done anything wrong? They talk of flirtation. I know it's not he that I love; but still I am happy with him, and he's so jolly. Only, why did he say that?..” she mused.
Catching sight of Kitty going away, and her mother meeting her at the steps, Levin, flushed from his rapid exercise, stood still and pondered a minute. He took off his skates, and overtook the mother and daughter at the entrance of the gardens.
“Delighted to see you,” said Princess Shtcherbatskaya. “On Thursdays we are home, as always.”
“Today, then?”
“We shall be pleased to see you,” the princess said stiffly.
This stiffness hurt Kitty, and she could not resist the desire to smooth over her mother's coldness. She turned her head, and with a smile said:
“Good-bye till this evening.”
At that moment Stepan Arkadyevitch, his hat cocked on one side, with beaming face and eyes, strode into the garden like a conquering hero. But as he approached his mother-in-law, he responded in a mournful and crestfallen tone to her inquiries about Dolly's health. After a little subdued and dejected conversation with his mother-in-law, he threw out his chest again, and put his arm in Levin's.
“Well, shall we set off?” he asked. “I've been thinking about you all this time, and I'm very, very glad you've come,” he said, looking him in the face with a significant air.
“Yes, come along,” answered Levin in ecstasy, hearing unceasingly the sound of that voice saying, “Good-bye till this evening,” and seeing the smile with which it was said.
“To the England or the Hermitage?”
“I don't mind which.”
“All right, then, the England,” said Stepan Arkadyevitch, selecting that restaurant because he owed more there than at the Hermitage, and consequently considered it mean to avoid it. “Have you got a sledge? That's first-rate, for I sent my carriage home.”
The friends hardly spoke all the way. Levin was wondering what that change in Kitty's expression had meant, and alternately assuring himself that there was hope, and falling into despair, seeing clearly that his hopes were insane, and yet all the while he felt himself quite another man, utterly unlike what he had been before her smile and those words, “Good-bye till this evening.”
Stepan Arkadyevitch was absorbed during the drive in composing the menu of the dinner.
“You like turbot, don't you?” he said to Levin as they were arriving.
“Eh?” responded Levin. “Turbot? Yes, I'mawfully fond of turbot.”
Chapter X
When Levin went into the restaurant with Oblonsky, he could not help noticing a certain peculiarity of expression, as it were, a restrained radiance, about the face and whole figure of Stepan Arkadyevitch. Oblonsky took off his overcoat, and with his hat over one ear walked into the dining-room, giving directions to the Tatar waiters, who were clustered about him in evening coats, bearing napkins. Bowing to right and left to the people he met, and here as everywhere joyously greeting acquaintances, he went up to the sideboard for a preliminary appetizer of fish and vodka, and said to the painted Frenchwoman decked in ribbons, lace, and ringlets, behind the counter, something so amusing that even that Frenchwoman was moved to genuine laughter. Levin for his part refrained from taking any vodka simply because he felt such a loathing of that Frenchwoman, all made up, it seemed, of false hair,poudre de riz, and vinaigre de toilette. He made haste to move away from her, as from a dirty place. His whole soul was filled with memories of Kitty, and there was a smile of triumph and happiness shining in his eyes.
“This way, your excellency, please. Your excellency won't be disturbed here,” said a particularly pertinacious, white-headed old Tatar with immense hips and coat-tails gaping widely behind. “Walk in, your excellency,” he said to Levin; by way of showing his respect to Stepan Arkadyevitch, being attentive to his guest as well.
Instantly flinging a fresh cloth over the round table under the bronze chandelier, though it already had a table cloth on it, he pushed up velvet chairs, and came to a standstill before Stepan Arkadyevitch with a napkin and a bill of fare in his hands, awaiting his commands.
“If you prefer it, your excellency, a private room will be free directly; Prince Golistin with a lady. Fresh oysters have come in.”
“Ah! oysters.”
Stepan Arkadyevitch became thoughtful.
“How if we were to change our program, Levin?” he said, keeping his finger on the bill of fare. And his face expressed serious hesitation. “Are the oysters good? Mind now.”
“They're Flensburg, your excellency. We've no Ostend.”
“Flensburg will do, but are they fresh?”
“Only arrived yesterday.”
“Well, then, how if we were to begin with oysters, and so change the whole program? Eh?”
“It's all the same to me. I should like cabbage soup and porridge better than anything; but of course there's nothing like that here.”
“Porridge à la Russe, your honor would like?” said the Tatar, bending down to Levin, like a nurse speaking to a child.
“No, joking apart, whatever you choose is sure to be good. I've been skating, and I'm hungry. And don't imagine,” he added, detecting a look of dissatisfaction on Oblonsky's face, “that I shan't appreciate your choice. I am fond of good things.”
“I should hope so! After all, it's one of the pleasures of life,” said Stepan Arkadyevitch. “Well, then, my friend, you give us two – or better say three – dozen oysters, clear soup with vegetables…”
“Printanière,” prompted the Tatar. But Stepan Arkadyevitch apparently did not care to allow him the satisfaction of giving the French names of the dishes.
“With vegetables in it, you know. Then turbot with thick sauce, then… roast beef; and mind it's good. Yes, and capons, perhaps, and then sweets.”
The Tatar, recollecting that it was Stepan Arkadyevitch's way not to call the dishes by the names in the French bill of fare, did not repeat them after him, but could not resist rehearsing the whole menu to himself according to the bill: – “Soupe printanière, turbot, sauce Beaumarchais, poulard à l'estragon, macédoine de fruits… etc.,” and then instantly, as though worked by springs, laying down one bound bill of fare, he took up another, the list of wines, and submitted it to Stepan Arkadyevitch.
“What shall we drink?”
“What you like, only not too much. Champagne,” said Levin.
“What! to start with? You're right though, I dare say. Do you like the white seal?”
“Cachet blanc,” prompted the Tatar.
“Very well, then, give us that brand with the oysters, and then we'll see.”
“Yes, sir. And what table wine?”
“You can give us Nuits. Oh, no, better the classic Chablis.”
“Yes, sir. Andyour cheese, your excellency?”
“Oh, yes, Parmesan. Or would you like another?”
“No, it's all the same to me,” said Levin, unable to suppress a smile.
And the Tatar ran off with flying coat-tails, and in five minutes darted in with a dish of opened oysters on mother-of-pearl shells, and a bottle between his fingers.
Stepan Arkadyevitch crushed the starchy napkin, tucked it into his waistcoat, and settling his arms comfortably, started on the oysters.
“Not bad,” he said, stripping the oysters from the pearly shell with a silver fork, and swallowing them one after another. “Not bad,” he repeated, turning his dewy, brilliant eyes from Levin to the Tatar.
Levin ate the oysters indeed, though white bread and cheese would have pleased him better. But he was admiring Oblonsky. Even the Tatar, uncorking the bottle and pouring the sparkling wine into the delicate glasses, glanced at Stepan Arkadyevitch, and settled his white cravat with a perceptible smile of satisfaction.
“You don't care much for oysters, do you?” said Stepan Arkadyevitch, emptying his wine-glass, “or you're worried about something. Eh?”
He wanted Levin to be in good spirits. But it was not that Levin was not in good spirits; he was ill at ease. With what he had in his soul, he felt sore and uncomfortable in the restaurant, in the midst of private rooms where men were dining with ladies, in all this fuss and bustle; the surroundings of bronzes, looking-glasses, gas, and waiters – all of it was offensive to him. He was afraid of sullying what his soul was brimful of.
“I? Yes, I am; but besides, all this bothers me,” he said. “You can't conceive how queer it all seems to a country person like me, as queer as that gentleman's nails I saw at your place…”
“Yes, I saw how much interested you were in poor Grinevitch's nails,” said Stepan Arkadyevitch, laughing.
“It's too much for me,” responded Levin. “Do try, now, and put yourself in my place, take the point of view of a country person. We in the country try to bring our hands into such a state as will be most convenient for working with. So we cut our nails; sometimes we turn up our sleeves. And here people purposely let their nails grow as long as they will, and link on small saucers by way of studs, so that they can do nothing with their hands.”
Stepan Arkadyevitch smiled gaily.
“Oh, yes, that's just a sign that he has no need to do coarse work. His work is with the mind…”
“Maybe. But still it's queer to me, just as at this moment it seems queer to me that we country folks try to get our meals over as soon as we can, so as to be ready for our work, while here are we trying to drag out our meal as long as possible, and with that object eating oysters…”
“Why, of course,” objected Stepan Arkadyevitch. “But that's just the aim of civilization – to make everything a source of enjoyment.”
“Well, if that's its aim, I'd rather be a savage.”
“And so you are a savage. All you Levins are savages.”
Levin sighed. He remembered his brother Nikolay, and felt ashamed and sore, and he scowled; but Oblonsky began speaking of a subject which at once drew his attention.
“Oh, I say, are you going tonight to our people, the Shtcherbatskys', I mean?” he said, his eyes sparkling significantly as he pushed away the empty rough shells, and drew the cheese towards him.
“Yes, I shall certainly go,” replied Levin; “though I fancied the princess was not very warm in her invitation.”
“What nonsense! That's her manner… Come, boy, the soup!.. That's her manner –grande dame,” said Stepan Arkadyevitch. “I'm coming, too, but I have to go to the Countess Bonina's rehearsal. Come, isn't it true that you're a savage? How do you explain the sudden way in which you vanished from Moscow? The Shtcherbatskys were continually asking me about you, as though I ought to know. The only thing I know is that you always do what no one else does.”
“Yes,” said Levin, slowly and with emotion, “you're right. I am a savage. Only, my savageness is not in having gone away, but in coming now. Now I have come…”
“Oh, what a lucky fellow you are!” broke in Stepan Arkadyevitch, looking into Levin's eyes.
“Why?”
“'I know a gallant steed by tokens sure,
And by his eyes I know a youth in love,'”
declaimed Stepan Arkadyevitch. “Everything is before you.”
“Why, is it over for you already?”
“No; not over exactly, but the future is yours, and the present is mine, and the present – well, it's not all that it might be.”
“How so?”
“Oh, things go wrong. But I don't want to talk of myself, and besides I can't explain it all,” said Stepan Arkadyevitch. “Well, why have you come to Moscow, then?.. Hi! take away!” he called to the Tatar.
“You guess?” responded Levin, his eyes like deep wells of light fixed on Stepan Arkadyevitch.
“I guess, but I can't be the first to talk about it. You can see by that whether I guess right or wrong,” said Stepan Arkadyevitch, gazing at Levin with a subtle smile.
“Well, and what have you to say to me?” said Levin in a quivering voice, feeling that all the muscles of his face were quivering too. “How do you look at the question?”
Stepan Arkadyevitch slowly emptied his glass of Chablis, never taking his eyes off Levin.
“I?” said Stepan Arkadyevitch, “there's nothing I desire so much as that – nothing! It would be the best thing that could be.”
“But you're not making a mistake? You know what we're speaking of?” said Levin, piercing him with his eyes. “You think it's possible?”
“I think it's possible. Why not possible?”
“No! do you really think it's possible? No, tell me all you think! Oh, but if… if refusal's in store for me!.. Indeed I feel sure…”
“Why should you think that?” said Stepan Arkadyevitch, smiling at his excitement.
“It seems so to me sometimes. That will be awful for me, and for her too.”
“Oh, well, anyway there's nothing awful in it for a girl. Every girl's proud of an offer.”
“Yes, every girl, but not she.”
Stepan Arkadyevitch smiled. He so well knew that feeling of Levin's, that for him all the girls in the world were divided into two classes: one class – all the girls in the world except her, and those girls with all sorts of human weaknesses, and very ordinary girls: the other class – she alone, having no weaknesses of any sort and higher than all humanity.
“Stay, take some sauce,” he said, holding back Levin's hand as it pushed away the sauce.
Levin obediently helped himself to sauce, but would not let Stepan Arkadyevitch go on with his dinner.
“No, stop a minute, stop a minute,” he said. “You must understand that it's a question of life and death for me. I have never spoken to anyone of this. And there's no one I could speak of it to, except you. You know we're utterly unlike each other, different tastes and views and everything; but I know you're fond of me and understand me, and that's why I like you awfully. But for God's sake, be quite straightforward with me.”
“I tell you what I think,” said Stepan Arkadyevitch, smiling. “But I'll say more: my wife is a wonderful woman…” Stepan Arkadyevitch sighed, remembering his position with his wife, and, after a moment's silence, resumed – “She has a gift of foreseeing things. She sees right through people; but that's not all; she knows what will come to pass, especially in the way of marriages. She foretold, for instance, that Princess Shahovskaya would marry Brenteln. No one would believe it, but it came to pass. And she's on your side.”
“How do you mean?”
“It's not only that she likes you – she says that Kitty is certain to be your wife.”
At these words Levin's face suddenly lighted up with a smile, a smile not far from tears of emotion.
“She says that!” cried Levin. “I always said she was exquisite, your wife. There, that's enough, enough said about it,” he said, getting up from his seat.
“All right, but do sit down.”
But Levin could not sit down. He walked with his firm tread twice up and down the little cage of a room, blinked his eyelids that his tears might not fall, and only then sat down to the table.
“You must understand,” said he, “it's not love. I've been in love, but it's not that. It's not my feeling, but a sort of force outside me has taken possession of me. I went away, you see, because I made up my mind that it could never be, you understand, as a happiness that does not come on earth; but I've struggled with myself, I see there's no living without it. And it must be settled.”
“What did you go away for?”
“Ah, stop a minute! Ah, the thoughts that come crowding on one! The questions one must ask oneself! Listen. You can't imagine what you've done for me by what you said. I'm so happy that I've become positively hateful; I've forgotten everything. I heard today that my brother Nikolay… you know, he's here… I had even forgotten him. It seems to me that he's happy too. It's a sort of madness. But one thing's awful… Here, you've been married, you know the feeling… it's awful that we – old – with a past… not of love, but of sins… are brought all at once so near to a creature pure and innocent; it's loathsome, and that's why one can't help feeling oneself unworthy.”
“Oh, well, you've not many sins on your conscience.”
“Alas! all the same,” said Levin, “when with loathing I go over my life, I shudder and curse and bitterly regret it… Yes.”
“What would you have? The world's made so,” said Stepan Arkadyevitch.
“The one comfort is like that prayer, which I always liked: 'Forgive me not according to my unworthiness, but according to Thy loving-kindness.' That's the only way she can forgive me.”
Chapter XI
Levin emptied his glass, and they were silent for a while.
“There's one other thing I ought to tell you. Do you know Vronsky?” Stepan Arkadyevitch asked Levin.
“No, I don't. Why do you ask?”
“Give us another bottle,” Stepan Arkadyevitch directed the Tatar, who was filling up their glasses and fidgeting round them just when he was not wanted.
“Why you ought to know Vronsky is that he's one of your rivals.”
“Who's Vronsky?” said Levin, and his face was suddenly transformed from the look of childlike ecstasy which Oblonsky had just been admiring to an angry and unpleasant expression.
“Vronsky is one of the sons of Count Kirill Ivanovitch Vronsky, and one of the finest specimens of the gilded youth of Petersburg. I made his acquaintance in Tver when I was there on official business, and he came there for the levy of recruits. Fearfully rich, handsome, great connections, an aide-de-camp, and with all that a very nice, good-natured fellow. But he's more than simply a good-natured fellow, as I've found out here – he's a cultivated man, too, and very intelligent; he's a man who'll make his mark.”
Levin scowled and was dumb.
“Well, he turned up here soon after you'd gone, and as I can see, he's over head and ears in love with Kitty, and you know that her mother…”
“Excuse me, but I know nothing,” said Levin, frowning gloomily. And immediately he recollected his brother Nikolay and how hateful he was to have been able to forget him.
“You wait a bit, wait a bit,” said Stepan Arkadyevitch, smiling and touching his hand. “I've told you what I know, and I repeat that in this delicate and tender matter, as far as one can conjecture, I believe the chances are in your favor.”
Levin dropped back in his chair; his face was pale.
“But I would advise you to settle the thing as soon as may be,” pursued Oblonsky, filling up his glass.
“No, thanks, I can't drink any more,” said Levin, pushing away his glass. “I shall be drunk… Come, tell me how are you getting on?” he went on, obviously anxious to change the conversation.
“One word more: in any case I advise you to settle the question soon. Tonight I don't advise you to speak,” said Stepan Arkadyevitch. “Go round tomorrow morning, make an offer in due form, and God bless you…”
“Oh, do you still think of coming to me for some shooting? Come next spring, do,” said Levin.
Now his whole soul was full of remorse that he had begun this conversation with Stepan Arkadyevitch. A feeling such as his was profaned by talk of the rivalry of some Petersburg officer, of the suppositions and the counsels of Stepan Arkadyevitch.
Stepan Arkadyevitch smiled. He knew what was passing in Levin's soul.
“I'll come some day,” he said. “But women, my boy, they're the pivot everything turns upon. Things are in a bad way with me, very bad. And it's all through women. Tell me frankly now,” he pursued, picking up a cigar and keeping one hand on his glass; “give me your advice.”
“Why, what is it?”
“I'll tell you. Suppose you're married, you love your wife, but you're fascinated by another woman…”
“Excuse me, but I'm absolutely unable to comprehend how… just as I can't comprehend how I could now, after my dinner, go straight to a baker's shop and steal a roll.”
Stepan Arkadyevitch's eyes sparkled more than usual.
“Why not? A roll will sometimes smell so good one can't resist it.”
“Himmlisch ist's, wenn ich bezwungen
Meine irdische Begier;
Aber doch wenn's nich gelungen