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He sat on the stoop and stared at the creek and the valley below. If she had a fever, they’d have to leave quickly to get her medical attention. They could probably reach the ranch by noon if they walked at a steady pace. He’d let her sleep for a bit and then they’d start out.
Egan’s emotions were all over the place and he couldn’t think straight when he was around her. He’d never had this problem before. She was making him forget that he’d ever known Judge Hollister. But the memory always returned. Egan would never be able to forgive the man for what he’d done, and that meant he couldn’t have any kind of relationship with his daughter.
Relationship?
Where did that come from? He wasn’t planning a relationship with Rachel Hollister. He just wanted to get her back to wherever she belonged. And that wasn’t with him.
He ran his hands up his face and took a deep breath. It would be a long time before the memory of those dogs clawing at her would fade. He’d been so afraid they would kill her. And that was unacceptable and terrifying. He was glad he’d gotten there when he had. Izzy was going to pay for this one way or another. Egan would call the sheriff just as soon as they made it back to the ranch. Izzy had trained those dogs to kill, and that wasn’t safe for anyone.
Glancing down, Egan saw that his knife was in its sheath. He didn’t even remember putting it there. The handle was covered with blood. He pulled it out and saw that the blade was, too. He got up and made his way to the well. There wasn’t anything to clean it with but water. He scrubbed the dried blood with leaves and that did the trick. Slipping it back into its sheath, he knew he might have to use it again.
“Egan!”
His name echoed through the valley with mind-splitting terror. He ran back to the cabin and Rachel flew into his arms.
“Egan.” She threw herself against him and held on, her body trembling. “I...thought...you’d left me here.”
He stroked her back. “You know I wouldn’t do that. Calm down. You just had a bad dream.”
“Every time I close my eyes...”
“Shh.” He led her to the bed. “How do you feel?”
She drew in a deep breath. “Better now that you’re here.”
“We need to start walking soon.” He checked the scratches and bites on her neck. “Everything looks good.” Touching her forehead, he added, “And you don’t have a fever.”
“Can we stay here a little while longer? I don’t want to go back out there just yet.”
“The sooner we leave, the faster we’ll make it to the ranch.”
She looked down at the scrapes on her hands. “I can’t go home like this.”
“Rachel, you’ve been through something horrific and you need your family.”
She raised her eyes to his and they filled with tears. At the sight, his resolve weakened.
“I need you. I know that sounds crazy, but—” she shook her head “—it’s the way I feel. Please, let’s stay here just a little while longer and then I can face my family.”
The pain in her voice got to him, but he had to be honest. “Rachel, you hardly know me. You’re clinging to me because you’re afraid.”
“I know,” she said in a dejected voice. She got up and walked to the doorway. “Oh, look at that view. I can understand why your ancestors chose this spot.” She walked out onto the porch and he followed. Six deer were at the creek, drinking. Quietly, she eased onto the stoop as if mesmerized by the sight.
“I’d love to paint that,” she whispered.
He sat beside her. “Obviously, you’re an artist, because you seem to want to paint everything.”
“Yes. I teach art in a private girls’ school in New York.”
At that moment, he realized Rachel was way, way out of his league. Yet it was hard to explain the feelings that had ignited between them. They had nothing in common and she was... He didn’t even want to think the words, so he stared off to the creek below.
They sat in silence for a long time, both comfortable with each other, but he was very aware of her breasts pressing against his T-shirt.
Finally, she turned to him. “I’m so hungry.”
“I think I left some canned stuff here. I’ll check.” He went inside and left her to her musings. He found a can of SpaghettiOs and one of ravioli. After opening them, he carried them outside with two plastic spoons.
“We try not to leave anything up here because it attracts foraging animals. Canned stuff is the only thing they won’t drag off.” They sat on the stoop and ate like two kids with a treat.
“This is delicious,” she said. “Or I’m just really hungry.”
“You’re really hungry.” He spooned ravioli into his mouth and it wasn’t bad. “When we were kids, my mom used to buy this by the case. On the ranch, you’re always busy and kids are always hungry. It was a go-to staple.”
“How many brothers do you have?”
“Six. My mom had seven kids in eight years. Jude and Phoenix were born in the same year.”
“I can’t even imagine that.” Rachel licked the spoon. “Jude and Phoenix were in my class. Jude dated Paige forever. Did they ever get married?”
“No,” Egan said shortly. He didn’t want to discuss his family.
“That’s sad. They were so in love.”
“Mmm.” Paige had chosen a career over love and family. Egan didn’t understand that, but he felt for his brother.
“There was another brother a year ahead of me and he was a bull rider.”
“That’s Paxton.”
“The girls were crazy about him.”
Egan ate the last of the ravioli. “Yeah, Paxton’s a ladies’ man.”
Rachel glanced sideways at him. “Are you?”
“Not close. My mother calls me the loner in the family. I’d rather be out here in these woods than in a crowded room of people.”
She pointed the spoon at him. “You see, I would have guessed that about you. You’re a quiet thinker and Paxton has nothing on you in looks, except his hair is lighter. But personally, I prefer dark hair and serious thinking men.”
The conversation was getting way out of his comfort zone. Egan took the can and spoon from her.
“What are you going to do with those?”
“Bury them so animals won’t be tempted into the cabin.”
“Doesn’t the music keep them out?”
“Not if they smell food.”
A shovel lay on the edge of the porch. He reached for it and walked into the woods. She didn’t panic that he was leaving her, but he could feel her eyes on him. He took his time because he had to gather his thoughts. They were getting too close, sharing too much.
After a few minutes he returned to the cabin, determined to keep things on an impersonal level.
“It’s so peaceful and quiet here. I love it.”
“But it’s far away from what you’re used to.”
“Yeah.” She rubbed her thumb over the dried blood on her jeans.
“Rachel, we need to talk.”
She glanced at him, but didn’t say anything.
“You didn’t do anything wrong. You didn’t cause your mother’s death, so there’s no reason to fear going home.”
“Then why do I feel this way?”
“You’ll feel differently when you talk to your family. They’re who you need right now. Not me. I’m a stranger.”
Her eyes held his and he felt as if he was swimming in the blue waters of South Padre Island, warm, inviting and irresistible.
“You don’t feel like a stranger to me. I trusted you from the moment I looked into your eyes.”
“You know nothing about me.”
“But I do. You saved my life, and I don’t think there’s anything you can say about yourself that will change my mind.”
There was only one way to change her mind and he had to do it. “I spent time in prison. I’m an ex-con.”
She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. “Do I have sauce on my face?”
Exasperation replaced his patience. “Yes.”
With her tongue she licked around her lips. He watched the action as if she had hypnotized him. Desire uncurled in his stomach.
“Could I have some water, please?”
He grunted and went to refill the bucket before he said something he would regret. But this wasn’t over. She had to face facts. They had to start walking soon.
When he returned to the stoop, she wasn’t there. He found her inside sitting on the bed. He handed her the ladle from the bucket and she drank. He was trying his best not to stare at her in his T-shirt. Even after being attacked by dogs, she looked better in it than he ever had.
He set the bucket on the floor. “Rachel...”
“I’m tired, Egan, and I just want to rest.”
“You can’t spend the rest of your life avoiding your family.”
“Don’t lecture me.” Anger coated her words for the first time. He was getting a reaction. That was good. He had to keep pushing.
“I’m not your hero. I’m just a man who got caught up in your life, and the sooner I get you back to your family, the sooner I can get back to mine. And please don’t weave a fantasy around me. I’m not a fairy-tale type guy.”
“I know,” she snapped. “You told me. You’re an ex-con. Do you expect me to run away screeching in terror?”
“No, but I expect you to understand that we need to go now.”
She stretched out on the bed. “But I’m so tired and I feel weak. Please let me rest. Then we’ll do what you want.”
Her voice was low and troubling. He reached out to touch her forehead. “You don’t have a fever.”
She pulled the duster around her. “I just need to rest. My nerves are all tied in knots.”
Egan gave up. He couldn’t push her if she didn’t feel well. Glancing outside, he saw the shadows lengthening. It was getting late. Too late for them to start walking. They’d have to spend the night here.
There was an old wooden rocker in the cabin and he pulled it forward and sat in it. “Do you feel sick to your stomach?”
“No.”
“Do you have a headache?”
“No, but you’re giving me one.”
He let that pass. “In a little while I’ll need to put whiskey on the scratches and bites again.”
“Okay.”
She closed her eyes and he thought she was asleep. But then her voice came, soft and inquisitive, “What did you do that you had to go to prison? You’re so gentle I just can’t imagine you doing anything bad.”
“It was a long time ago and I don’t like to talk about it.”
Using her hands as a pillow beneath the side of her face, she got comfy and asked, “How old were you?”
“I was twenty and in college.” He hadn’t meant to answer, but the words slipped out.
“In college, kids drink a lot. Did you do something while you were drunk?”
He hated the memories as bad as anything in his life, but something in him had a need to tell her so she would understand.
“Yes.” That was the only word that came out of his dry mouth, and he hoped she would drop the subject.
“I told you my deep dark secret, so you can talk to me. What we say here stays here.”
“We’re not in Vegas.”
Her lips curved into an enchanting smile. “That would be nice to share with you.”
“Rachel, please stop seeing me as someone you’d like to have a relationship with.”
“Why?”
He had to tell her. It was the only way to stop the fantasy in her head. “I was twenty years old and enjoying college life, like all kids that age. It was the end of the school year and summer beckoned. Celebration parties were going on everywhere. I attended one with my friend and got drunk, way too drunk. He hooked up with someone and I didn’t have a ride home, so these two guys said they would drop me off at my dorm. The next thing I knew I was in a hospital bed under arrest.”
She sat up, her eyes enormous. “What happened?”
“Seemed the two idiots decided to rob a liquor store. They were high on crack and killed the man inside. I was passed out drunk in the backseat. I didn’t really know these guys and had no idea of their plans.”
“But you didn’t do anything.”
“No, I didn’t. Even after the toxicology report came back and showed I didn’t have any crack in my system, only booze, the judge didn’t buy it. My friends at the party testified that I had just gotten a ride home from them. The judge thought I needed to be taught a lesson about how to choose my friends and how to have more control over what I drink. And to be more responsible. He could have given me probation and community service, but he sentenced me to a year in prison.”
“How awful. Oh, Egan, I’m so sorry you had to go through that.” Before he could stop her she slipped off the bed and onto his lap. He tensed. She’d blindsided him with her reaction and he didn’t want to react. He wanted her to...
Her arms went around his neck and she rested her forehead against the side of his. “That must have been terrible for a young man.”
He closed his eyes, breathing in the scent of her and the fragrance that lingered in her hair. All feminine. All intoxicating. All he wanted at that moment.
Then from the deepest, darkest part of his soul the words came, words he’d never said to anyone, not his brothers, not his mother, not anyone.
“It was hell on earth. When they drove us into the prison and those big gates closed behind the van, I knew I was in the worst possible place. Everything was taken from me. I was stripped of my clothes, my pride, my life. Then they ushered me down long halls with cell after cinder-block cell. I was pushed into one, and as the steel door clanged shut, I was frightened beyond anything I’ve ever felt in my life. There was no way out. I was trapped like an animal, with other animals who had no qualms about inflicting pain. They called me pretty boy. I made a friend, Jericho, and he saved me many times. But daily I lived in fear for my life. I can’t tell you how that changes a man. I—”
“Shh.” She kissed his cheek. “Don’t relive it. You don’t have to. You’re free now.” Her mouth trailed to the corner of his and he turned his head to meet her lips. He groaned at the sweetness of her and deepened the kiss. His arms tightened around her and the earth stood still as, for the first time, he let someone else share the pain of that time. Allowed someone to console him. She tasted of spaghetti and liquor, and it was the best taste he’d ever had. He wanted more and more and more...
His hand trailed beneath the T-shirt to caress the softness of her breast. Somewhere in the rational part of his mind, he knew this was wrong. He had to stop it. Now!
“Rach...”
“How long did you have to stay there?”
He withdrew his hand from her breast. He had to gain control. “My mother hired another attorney and he collected more evidence, damning evidence. The crime had happened in Waco, Texas, and the judge was a visiting one. My lawyer at the time had advised me to let the judge decide my sentence instead of going through a jury trial. My family and I agreed. Being familiar with my family and Horseshoe, the judge should have recused himself. He chose not to. My new lawyer brought this out in an appeal and the original sentence was overturned. I was finally exonerated, the charges were dropped and I was released after three months. But three months scarred me for life.”
“Egan...”
“I’m telling you this so you’ll understand where I’m coming from when I say you and I will never have any kind of relationship. I will get you back to your family, but that’s it.”
She went still in his arms. “I don’t understand. I don’t think any less of you for what happened, and you shouldn’t, either.”
“We’ve known each other for about twenty-four hours now. We should never have met, but sometimes fate is cruel.”
“I know you’re going somewhere with this, but for the life of me I have no idea what it is.”
Egan removed his arm from around her waist and studied the blood under his fingernails. “The judge who sent me to prison to make a point, to teach me a lesson, was Hardison Hollister, your father.”
Chapter Four
Rachel slipped from his lap, shaking her head. “No, that’s not true. My father was known for his honest and fair decisions. He wouldn’t do something like that.”
Egan stood—tall, rigid and defiant. “He was also known for his stiff and unrelenting decisions dictated by his high moral code. The only thing I was guilty of was underage drinking. But he said I’d made choices and I had to be accountable for them. And since my family had a history of violence, he couldn’t just let it go. I needed to learn a lesson, and the only way to do that was to think about my actions in prison. There was nothing fair about his words or his judgment.” Egan swung away and strolled outside in the dwindling light, as if saying the words took every ounce of energy he had.
Rachel sat on the bed, speechless. Her father had been a judge for many years and she’d never thought much about his occupation. But his decisions affected lives...like Egan’s. Growing up, she’d seen little of her father. He was always busy, in court or out of town at political events, or sitting in as a visiting judge. Her mother had always been the mainstay in Rachel’s life. She drew a deep breath and curled up on the bed.
Coming home was turning into a nightmare. How much guilt could she load onto her poor old soul? Egan’s pain was something she could feel, but he didn’t want her sympathy or her comforting words. What could she say to him?
Even after everything he’d told her, those feelings she had for him hadn’t changed. A lot more questions about her father lingered, though.
From the bed, she could see Egan sitting on the stoop, staring into the darkness and battling the demons inside him. The moonlight shone a path between them. As if he sensed her stare, he got up and walked back into the house.
“I have to put alcohol on your wounds,” he said, his voice a rough edge of reality. No matter how much he wanted to ignore her, he couldn’t. Her safety and welfare were important to him and that said more about him than any sentence he could have been given.
He went to the cabinet and pulled out something. A split second later there was light in the cabin.
“Oh.” She was startled by the brightness.
“It’s a kerosene lantern,” he said. “It belonged to my grandparents and I use it for light sometimes.” He placed it on the floor, grabbed the whiskey bottle, sat beside her and began to dab at the scratches on her arms and neck.
“Where did you get that piece of cloth?”
“I cut it off of your top.”
“I didn’t see you do that.”
“Just sit quietly.” He soaked the scratches on her hands, arms and neck. It didn’t sting as badly this time. With the flickering lamp and the darkness crowding in, the setting and the moment could have been romantic. But there was nothing romantic about their situation.
His hand lingered on her neck and moved gently to her cheek. His touch was soft, almost a caress. She imagined he made love the same way—gently, with total concentration and attention to detail. Without thinking, she leaned her face into his hand.
He cleared his throat. “You’ll have to remove the T-shirt so I can soak the scratches on your chest.”
The shirt came off with one easy movement. He dabbed at the scratches, his hand lingering over the fullness of her breast.
A ragged breath caught in her throat. “Touch me.”
“I am touching you.” His voice came out hoarse.
“No.” She reached up and removed his hat. “I mean like you want to touch me.”
He stood abruptly. “That’s done. Now get some rest.”
Pretending she hadn’t spoken wasn’t going to stop her. “Egan...”
“Don’t say anything else. We’ve said enough.”
“There’s a chemistry between us that has nothing to do with my father. It has to do with us.”
He sighed. “Rachel, there’s nothing between us. We’re two strangers who met by accident. That’s it.”
“You wanted to touch my breast in a more intimate way. Don’t deny it, because I felt it.”
He turned from putting the whiskey bottle in the cabinet. “You’re a beautiful woman. What man wouldn’t be attracted to you? I’m human. That’s all.”
There wasn’t much she could say after that. She had to stop fighting for something that was never going to be. She’d met him only yesterday. Once she was away from him, her world would right itself and she would forget about him. But something inside her told her differently. Forgetting Egan wouldn’t be easy.
“Go to sleep.” He blew out the lantern and moved toward the door.
“Aren’t you going to sleep, too?”
“Maybe later. I don’t sleep much. I’ll sit on the stoop for a while.”
“Do you think that man is still out there?”
“Izzy is somewhere, but I doubt if he’s hiding in these woods. We’ll be long gone before he sets out to track us in the morning. Don’t worry. Just rest.”
She tugged the T-shirt over her head and curled up on the bed, her eyes on his rigid back. As she moved, her hand touched something. His hat. He’d forgotten his hat. That had to be a first, and she wondered if he slept in it when he was home. She doubted it. In that moment, she knew she wanted to know a lot more about Egan Rebel.
* * *
EGAN KEPT THE RIFLE by his side. He wasn’t as sure about old Izzy as he’d pretended to be to Rachel. The man was crazy and could pop up at any moment, but Egan was ready for him.
An owl hooted through the chirp of crickets and the night wore on. It had to be close to midnight. He didn’t wear a watch anymore, since he’d got it caught on a string of a bale of hay and almost had his arm ripped off. His phone was now his watch, but it was in his duster and he wasn’t going to disturb Rachel. Besides, there was no signal.
He flexed his fingers, recalling the smoothness of her skin against his fingertips. She was right. He wanted to touch her in a more intimate way, and that feeling angered him. There were so many girls in the world and the one that he could never have was the one he was drawn to. There was no way on God’s green earth he could see himself dating Rachel Hollister. But she was tempting. He’d just leave it at that.
A long walk was ahead of him in the morning, so he had to get some rest. The rocker was preferable to sitting on the stoop. He tiptoed inside and lightly closed the door. The rocker was as hard as the stoop, but he’d adjust.
“Sleep on the bed, Egan. You need to rest.” Her voice was soft, yet strong.
Being male and in control, he stretched out on the bed and his body relaxed.
“Do you want your hat?” she asked. “It’s right here.”
A grin spread across his face, but he was the only one who knew that. “No. I actually don’t sleep in my hat or my boots at home.”
“I didn’t think so.” She moved around on the mattress, bumping into him.
“What are you doing?”
“Taking off my sneakers. I can’t sleep in them another night.”
After a moment, she curled up next to him and it was a little too close for his comfort. But he was in control, he told himself again.
“Did you take your boots off?”
“No.” He wanted to be ready in case Izzy made an appearance. Egan wouldn’t tell her that, though.
Finally, the silence was wonderful as they gave in to the tiredness of their bodies.
“I’m really sorry for what you went through, Egan.”
“I know. Just go to sleep, and tomorrow you’ll be back with your family.”
“I’m excited and dreading it at the same time.”
“Just relax and everything will go smoothly.”
There was a long pause. “Can I see you before I go back to New York?”
He moved restlessly, not wanting to have this conversation. “I’d rather not.”
“I never felt about anyone the way I feel about you. I know you don’t want to hear that, but I’m just being honest.”
“Rachel...”
“I’m very aware you don’t want to be attracted to me.”
“You got it.”
“You don’t have to be cruel.”
“I’m not. I’m just being honest, as you said.” He flipped onto his side and waited for her to stop talking. They didn’t have anything else to talk about, and the less they said, the better it was for both of them.
“You’re very stubborn.”