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Not that she’d ever intended to be a cleaner. She’d been about to take up a scholarship at one of London’s most prestigious art schools when her adoptive mother had been struck down by a virulent form of cancer. Fired by fear and devotion, Nicole had nursed the kindly woman who had taken in the abandoned little girl. The lonely child who had passed through streams of foster parents before Peggy Watson had appeared in her life as a saviour. Nicole hadn’t been able to imagine a life without her but, despite her frightened prayers, Peggy had died a painful death. And something in Nicole had died along with her.
Grief had left her barely able to lift a paintbrush, let alone have any ideas worth putting down on paper. Ignoring the pleadings of her teachers, she had deferred her place at art school. Suddenly, she’d felt old—as if she’d had nothing in common with the whacky art students and their garish clothes. How could she possibly behave in a carefree way when inside she’d felt so numb? All she’d wanted was a well-paid job she didn’t have to think about—and cleaning the Barberi offices had provided the ideal solution. She’d told herself it was just a case of recovering her confidence and clawing together some savings until she felt ready to continue with her art. And that had been her intended path, until the night she’d bumped into the Sicilian billionaire who, against all the odds, had been destined to become her husband.
She’d known who he was because he’d had a reputation for staying late and burning the midnight oil. And like all her co-workers, she’d agreed that the workaholic billionaire was the hunkiest man she’d ever seen. But Nicole had regarded Rocco Barberi in the same way you might regard the leading man in your favourite TV box-set—easy to fantasise about, but totally out of reach. Until the evening they had collided—literally. When Nicole had been carrying her mop and bucket along the corridor and seen the Sicilian heading towards her and they’d been so busy staring at each other that their paths had crossed. The metal bucket had caught the edge of the tycoon’s ankle and Nicole had looked down in horror to see soapy water sloshing all over his pristine suit trousers and handmade shoes.
‘Oh, my gosh. I’m so sorry,’ she’d stumbled, looking up to find herself transfixed by the bluest pair of eyes she’d ever seen. ‘I... I wasn’t looking where I was going.’
‘And neither was I. Non importa.’ He had made a careless movement with his hand. ‘They will clean.’
He’d still been staring at her, staring at her as if he’d known her, or as if he hadn’t been able to quite believe what he’d been seeing. And Nicole had felt exactly the same. She might have been a virgin and naïve in the ways of men, but she’d been unable to deny the powerful attraction which had temporarily incapacitated them both. It hadn’t seemed to matter that she’d been wearing a blue uniform which had been straining across her breasts, nor that her flyaway curls had been tugged back with a single strand of the green velvet ribbon she always wore, because it matched her eyes. Or that the man in front of her had exuded a power and status which was many lofty rungs above her own. She’d just felt as if she knew him. As if they’d met in a previous life. Or something.
When she’d analysed it afterwards, she’d realised just how dumb she’d been. All that had happened was that she’d been captivated by a man who any painter in a life class would drool over and he had obviously felt something very similar. Their connection had been purely physical. Or chemical. A freak of nature which shouldn’t have gone anywhere else, except that it had.
She’d felt apologetic the next day but she’d also felt intensely alive—as if he’d woken her from a long sleep. She’d painted him a little postcard—the first time she’d picked up a brush since Peggy’s death—and on it she’d depicted a cartoon of Rocco standing in a sea of soapy water on which floated an empty bucket and the single word, sorry, at the bottom of the card.
Maybe Rocco had been frustrated at the time and that was why he’d thrown caution to the wind and told her how much the postcard had made him laugh, before asking her out for a drink. And maybe Nicole had just wanted something joyful to happen after the two bleak years since Peggy’s death. Either way, their drinks had lain untouched, and the dazzling skyline outside the fancy rooftop bar had gone unnoticed. He’d asked her to dinner and she’d said yes, and it had been the most wonderful evening of her life. But he hadn’t touched her, even though she had desperately wanted him to.
A week later they’d had dinner again and then, over a drink following a trip to Milan, he’d asked if she’d ever been on the London Eye. She hadn’t as it happened, and as the giant wheel had circled London’s imposing monuments Nicole had realised that she was completely smitten by her billionaire boss. Smitten enough to find herself at his apartment later that day with Rocco breaking through her hymen with a groan of hunger followed by disbelief.
Apparently, it was a big thing in Sicily for a man to take a woman’s virginity and Rocco had alternately stormed at her, before hugging her tightly to his chest and then lowering his head to suck on her nipples. It had gone on like that for days. Snatched moments of bliss—even at work. That time on the desk would be scorched in her memory for ever. She’d never known that sex could be so addictive and Rocco had told her he felt exactly the same.
But then something had changed.
When Rocco had started buying her gradually more daring items of underwear and asking her to wear them Nicole had been eager to try out his sexy commands, yet on some deeper level—she’d been a bit wary, too. Had instinct warned her that the more outrageous his demands, the more he’d seemed to be distancing himself from her? Had he already decided her humble status meant he should end their liaison—and the provocative items of lingerie had been helping highlight her unsuitability? She’d been about to tell him he was making her feel like an object, when she’d missed her period, and her newly tender breasts had told her what the pregnancy test had quickly confirmed—that she was carrying Rocco Barberi’s baby.
Telling him had been nothing like the rose-tinted version she’d secretly longed for—a version as far away as possible from her own bleak beginnings on the snowy steps of a wintry hospital. She’d wanted to give him the news somewhere neutral, but he’d told her he was expecting a call and maybe they should take a rain check on the date they’d planned—and had he mentioned that he was planning a trip to the States the following week and wouldn’t be around for some time? And that was when it had all come blurting out, there in his penthouse office—with her untouched mop and bucket standing on the floor beside her feet.
‘Rocco, I’m pregnant.’
She would never forget his expression as he’d looked up from his computer. A brief shuttering followed by a shadowed caution.
‘You’re certain?’
‘Positive.’
‘And it’s...’
His words had faded but a sudden chill had washed over Nicole’s skin.
‘Yours?’ she’d questioned with a perception which had made her suddenly feel quite sick. ‘Is that what you were going to say, Rocco?’
He had shaken his head. ‘Of course not.’
She hadn’t believed him and had started to cry when he’d ‘jokingly’ suggested she might have deliberately sabotaged the condom in order to trap him. Had her woeful, red-eyed face tugged at his conscience? Was that why he’d risen from his desk and walked across the office towards her? His unkind words had been blotted out by the deep sense of gratitude she’d felt when he’d taken her in his arms and told her that of course she must marry him. He was going to stand by her and that meant a lot to someone who had been abandoned as a baby. And of course, she had thought herself in love with him. Yet all the time she had been acutely aware of the dutiful way he went about preparing for their marriage—as if he was being forced into something he’d never intended.
If she’d been an independent woman instead of a broke cleaner with hardly any qualifications, might her answer have been different? Would she have tried to go it alone to bring up her baby and told him he was very welcome to have access visits whenever he wanted? She thought not. Even if she had been inclined to embrace single parenthood, she recognised that Rocco would never have allowed that to happen. She had been carrying his child and therefore she had been his possession. That was something else she understood. It was something to do with being Sicilian and something to do with being a Barberi.
Their unlikely union had excited a flurry of interest in the European gossip but the Cinderella slant of the newspaper articles had made her feel somehow...less than—and that wasn’t a good way to start a marriage. And anyway—the whole thing had been a waste of time, hadn’t it? Rocco had only gone through with the wedding because she’d been pregnant—but her body had been unable to hold onto the baby she’d wanted so much. She had failed the baby, just as she had failed Rocco. She had let everyone down. She felt the sting of tears at the backs of her eyes and dabbed at them furiously with a curled-up fist.
She wasn’t going to think about that.
She wasn’t going to let herself go there.
But Nicole’s hands were trembling as the powerful car suddenly turned off the main drag and began to ascend a steep and curving street before eventually coming to a halt at the top, outside a deep rose-hued house with its amazing view over Monaco’s harbour. She looked up at it in surprise. Somehow she hadn’t imagined Rocco living somewhere like this—in a house on a street—not when he had grown up amid roaming acres of olive groves and vineyards in beautiful rural Sicily.
The front door was opened immediately, almost as if someone had been watching out for the car. But it wasn’t Rocco who stood on the doorstep, but a chic woman in a black and white uniform, which made Nicole realise why so many women wore French maid outfits to fancy-dress parties when they were trying to look sexy.
‘Welcome, signora,’ the woman said, with a coral-tinted smile. ‘I’m Veronique and I’m the housekeeper. Signor Barberi’s assistant, Michele, is waiting upstairs for you in his office and I will take you there.’
Slightly disorientated by the size of the entrance hall, Nicole turned to stare out of the still-open front door where the limousine was parked. ‘But my suitcase—’
‘The driver will bring it in and leave it in your room,’ said Veronique. ‘Do not concern yourself. Please. Come with me.’
Nicole followed the housekeeper along a gleaming marble corridor and into a huge room whose only concessions to being an office were a giant desk and a row of clocks on the wall depicting different time zones around the world. For the most part it just looked like an amazing room with an equally amazing view. A tall blonde was waiting for them, her high-heeled shoes matching her fitted pink dress, and Nicole wondered just how many beautiful women Rocco surrounded himself with and whether any of them provided any additional extras.
But that’s none of your business, she told herself fiercely trying to downplay the savage little kick of jealousy which flared up inside her. If he wants to sleep with the staff, that’s up to him.
The blonde stepped forward and extended her hand. ‘Hi! I’m Michele, Rocco’s assistant, and I’m delighted to be able to welcome you to Monaco, Signora Barberi.’
‘Please—call me Nicole.’
Michele smiled. ‘Nicole it is. I’m afraid he’s a bit tied up at the moment.’ She gave an apologetic shrug which suggested she was no stranger to conveying this message. ‘His last meeting went on longer than anticipated and he’s taking a conference call right now. He said to tell you he’ll be with you as soon as he can and that I should show you around.’
Unsure if Rocco’s assistant was aware of the make-believe nature of their reconciliation, Nicole forced herself to adopt an expression of lively curiosity. ‘That would be great.’
‘So why don’t we start down here?’
Nicole followed Rocco’s shapely assistant through the most luxurious house she had ever seen. High-ceilinged reception rooms were studded with modern furniture and once again, she couldn’t help comparing it to Rocco’s Sicilian home. There was no dark wood, or furniture which had been worn down by previous generations who were now unsmiling faces in framed sepia photographs. Everything looked so new and so...bright. She found herself liking it because it had no obvious history and an unexpected smile curved the edges of her mouth. A bit like her, really.
Briefly, she looked around the well-stocked library, peered into an imposing gym and gazed wistfully at the infinity pool which overlooked the Mediterranean, wishing she’d remembered to bring a swimsuit. There were six bedrooms in all, the largest of which was obviously Rocco’s, and Nicole’s heart flipped when she saw her suitcase sitting in the centre of the floor.
‘And this is the master suite,’ Michele was saying. ‘I think you’ll find everything you need, but please let me know if there’s anything else I can get you. The fundraiser doesn’t start until eight tonight so you have plenty of time to acclimatise yourself. Would you like me to leave you to unpack? I expect you want to hang up your dresses.’ Michele glanced diplomatically at Nicole’s battered little suitcase as she indicated a section of inbuilt wardrobe doors. ‘Rocco has left plenty of space for your belongings. Or perhaps you would rather have something to drink first?’
Nicole wasn’t planning on putting her belongings anywhere near Rocco’s, but she didn’t want to embarrass his assistant by telling her that. And there was no way she could ever sleep in here—it was too unsettling on too many levels. She could sense Rocco’s presence everywhere. That tantalising scent which was all his—a subtle mix of sandalwood and bergamot. The well-thumbed crime novel which lay open on the bedside table which was probably on exactly the same page as it had been since his last holiday. She could see a pair of gold and lapis lazuli cufflinks lying on the dressing table—and the intimacy of being inside his bedroom again was causing her heart to contract with a flurry of emotions which was making her feel dizzy.
‘Actually, I’d love something to drink,’ she said weakly.
‘In that case, come and I’ll have someone bring it up to the terrace, which I think you might like.’ Michele’s smile widened. ‘You see, I saved the best for last.’
As soon as Nicole stepped out onto the terrace she realised Michele hadn’t been exaggerating. Pursing her lips into a silent whistle of appreciation, she looked out over the balcony. This was the kind of view which only wads of money could buy and Nicole’s first thought was how much she would like to recreate these colours on clay. The deep azure of the sea lay before her in an endless dazzle and above it was the paler hue of the sky. How incredible it would be to make a collection in all these different shades of blue and maybe to hint at the greens and greys of the distant mountains. It was opulent and stunning and it felt unreal. In fact, she felt unreal. But hadn’t she always felt out of place in this wealthy world she’d left behind?
‘Would you like water, or tea?’ Michele was asking. ‘Or we have champagne, if you prefer.’
Nicole shook her head. ‘No, honestly. Water would be perfect. Thanks.’
After Michele had gone, Nicole leaned over the railings and gazed ahead but this time she wasn’t really focussing on the view. She thought about the child she’d once been—the insecure little outcast who had been pushed from pillar to post until Peggy Watson had taken her in. Could that orphaned little girl ever have imagined standing somewhere like this, about to draw a line under her marriage? And despite everything, she felt a pang of pain that she hadn’t been able to make it work. It made her start wondering if there had been anything she could have done to have saved it. If her own grief had made her keep Rocco at arm’s length. Perhaps it had. Perhaps she might handle it very differently now.
But you can’t keep going back over the past. It’s too late to do anything about it now. It’s over.
‘Beautiful, isn’t it?’ A rich voice washed over her skin like dark silk and Nicole turned round, her heart clenching. Because Rocco was walking towards her, a glass in his hand-the darkness of his hair almost blue-black in the bright sunshine.
‘Very beautiful,’ she said breathlessly.
‘That’s Cap Ferrat directly opposite—and the land you can see over there is Italy.’ He moved directly in front of her and held out the glass. ‘I believe you told Michele you wanted something to drink.’
Nicole’s heart was pounding and suddenly her senses were going crazy because she couldn’t seem to think straight when he was standing this close. Her body seemed programmed to react in a way she couldn’t prevent—no matter how hard she tried. For a split-second she wanted to put her arms around his neck. To melt into the hardness of his body while he began to stroke her in that way which had always made her shiver with longing...
Until she forced herself to remember that this was Rocco. Heartless Rocco who didn’t give a damn about her. Who had ridden roughshod over her feelings and brought her out here to help further his ruthless business ambitions. With a tight smile she took the water from him and sipped from the crystal glass. ‘Thanks,’ she said.
‘You’re welcome.’ His blue eyes were mocking. ‘Made yourself at home?’
‘Easier said than done,’ she quipped. ‘This place is so big it reminds me of one of those stately homes in London. I suppose if your business deal falls through you could always charge an entrance fee and make a little extra money on the side.’
‘A novel suggestion,’ he murmured.
‘I’m nothing if not enterprising, Rocco. And I’ve been running my own shop for the past year so I’m pretty much up to speed with running a small business.’
Reluctantly, Rocco smiled. He’d forgotten that her very different upbringing gave her a sometimes irreverent take on his world, and how it had once enchanted him. Just as he’d forgotten how fresh and vibrant she could look, without even trying. He narrowed his eyes. Compared to the manufactured glamour of most of the women he mixed with, her natural beauty seemed to shine through—and the suddenly powerful throb of his groin was an indication of just how instinctively his body responded to that.
‘Did Michele show you where everything was?’ he questioned unevenly.
‘She did.’ She put the glass down. ‘Though I thought you might have turned up at the airport to meet me.’
‘And were you disappointed?’
She shrugged. ‘I don’t know that I would describe it as disappointment. I just thought that after all the fuss you made about me coming out here, you might have made the effort to meet me from the plane. If you’re supposed to be playing the spouse eager to get his marriage back on track, ignoring my arrival isn’t really the way to go about it.’
‘I’d planned to be there but I’m afraid it didn’t work out that way,’ he said smoothly. ‘I was snowed under with work.’
‘So I gather.’
Her thick curls were gleaming darkly in the bright sunshine and suddenly Rocco found himself wanting to tangle his fingers in them, the way he used to do. ‘What can I say?’ he said, with a shrug. ‘It was a call I needed to take.’
‘But mightn’t it have occurred to you to postpone it?’ she continued coolly. ‘Rather than dumping me on your assistant, who clearly isn’t quite sure what to do with me?’
‘Nobody was dumping you, Nicole. It was urgent.’
‘It’s always urgent with you, isn’t it, Rocco? Work always takes precedence.’
He raised his eyebrows. ‘You think organisations like the Barberi Foundation just run themselves?’
‘No, I don’t think that. But I do think work can become an addiction and a substitute.’
‘A substitute for what?’
‘You tell me. When was the last time you had a holiday?’
‘You know I don’t like holidays.’ He frowned. ‘Anyway, what difference does it make who shows you around?’
And that was the trouble, Nicole reminded herself. He really couldn’t see it. He had no understanding of the way he treated the people in his life—as if they were mere accessories, to be brought out if and when it suited him. Wasn’t it time someone told him? Pointed out a few home-truths which were long overdue? She pushed back her curls, aware that she might be about to become the cliché of a nagging wife—but also aware there were things she’d never dared say to him while they’d been together and maybe she had nothing to lose now. ‘Didn’t you think it might have been awkward for me when your assistant mistakenly assumed we’d be sharing a bedroom?’
‘That was no mistake, tesoro,’ he said softly. ‘We’re supposed to be giving our marriage another go and naturally we will need to share a bedroom.’
She shook her head. ‘But that’s where you’re wrong. It’s only a game, Rocco,’ she reminded him. ‘Remember?’
It was only a game, Rocco repeated to himself silently—but right then it was hard to think of anything other than how much he desired her, despite the cheap jewellery and faded jeans. She was far more assertive than she’d ever been in the past and this unaccustomed display of spirit from his once passive wife was doing peculiar things to his pulse-rate. He swallowed. He thought about other women he had dated before his marriage. Classy women, who wore designer clothes instead of jeans and a shirt. With subtle diamonds glinting in their earlobes, not big silver hoops which dangled amid the wild tangle of curls.
Yet Nicole was the one who did it for him. Still did, if he was being honest. Who powered his heart so that it hammered against his chest like a piston. Who made him feel about sixteen again. Rocco felt a sudden rush of lust which wiped out every thought other than the blindingly obvious. He thought about the way her body convulsed and spasmed around him when she was coming—and the erection which was currently throbbing hotly at his groin became almost unbearable.
Sucking in a deep breath, he tried to assert the self-control which had become his default at the age of fourteen, when he had been forced to grow up overnight, but for once it was proving elusive. Was she feeling it too—this attraction which was almost tangible as it sizzled in the air around them? He looked into her eyes as all kinds of new possibilities began to open up in his mind. ‘It may only be a game,’ he stated softly, ‘but I think we need to make it as convincing a game as possible, don’t you?’
‘Not by sharing a space,’ she argued. ‘And before you try telling me that your staff will notice we’re not in the same room—I don’t care. I’m assuming everyone who works for you is loyal, since loyalty is something you’ve always demanded from the people around you.’
‘And were you loyal to me, Nicole?’ he said suddenly.
The question took her by surprise. ‘Yes, I was. Completely. More than you’ll ever know. ‘She gave a short laugh. ‘Or maybe you aren’t aware of the offers I got to tell my story when our marriage broke down?’
He leaned back against the railing and studied her, his blue eyes thoughtful. ‘What kind of offers?’
She shrugged. ‘Oh, you know. Big ones. Journalists who tracked me down wondering why a Barberi ex-wife was living such a shabby existence when she’d been married to one of the richest men on the planet. Why I was working in a puny little art shop instead of living in a luxury flat and giving your credit card a battering. I don’t know why you’re looking so surprised, Rocco—you can see how much they might have wanted the story. Isn’t that what newspaper readers love to read about? The fairy-tale marriage which came to such an abrupt ending.’
His sapphire eyes had become shuttered by the thick curtain of his dark lashes. ‘But you didn’t talk to them?’
‘Of course I didn’t.’ Frustratedly, Nicole shook her head. How could he even ask that? The raw pain of losing their baby had been replaced by a kind of numbness that her marriage was over—they had pushed each other so far away that there was nothing left between them. She’d forced herself into a zombified state of acceptance as she had stumbled through the days without realising what was going on, only knowing she needed to start over. She’d convinced herself that Sicily had been nothing but a strange interlude and she needed to reconnect with England, but it hadn’t been easy. She’d felt like a tiny craft thrown into a raging sea, not knowing which direction life would take her. One minute she’d been a cleaner and then a billionaire’s wife. One minute a mother-to-be and the next...nothing. There was no word in the English language to describe a mother who had lost her child, was there? Nicole swallowed. Only someone who was seriously deluded would have wanted to relive that pain and disruption and see it printed in a newspaper. ‘Did you really think I would ever talk to a journalist?’ she demanded. ‘Did you?’