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Which turned out to be yet another carbon copy of the previous two.
Dropping his gear on the floor, he didn’t even have the energy to hit the shower. “You go ahead,” he told her, lying back on to the bed and closing his eyes. “I’ll take mine in the morning.”
That was his last conscious thought before sleep claimed him.
* * *
Overnight bag still in hand, Lilly stood and watched as Kane dropped off into a deep sleep. She felt a flare of panic that he hadn’t even brought his guitar case inside.
She shook her head at her own weakness and took her bag with her into the bathroom. She made the water piping hot, and took her time, trying to summon up the courage to let Kane sleep undisturbed. The poor man obviously needed his rest. He’d been driving for a solid three days, and since she didn’t know how to drive she couldn’t even spell him.
But though she knew her thoughts were selfish, she couldn’t help but wonder what kind of a night she’d have, alone with him in a small hotel room, without even his music to soothe her. Telling herself to stop thinking of herself, she toweled off and put on her soft sleep T-shirt.
When she emerged into the room, Kane’s deep, even breaths told her he was still deeply asleep. She moved quietly, went through her familiar routine of folding the bedspread and slipped into the still tucked sheets. Only once she had, she realized she’d forgotten to put out the light. On her way to do so, she once again found herself entranced by Kane. A sudden image of what it would feel like to slide into his bed next to him, wrapping herself around him, made her gasp in shock and confusion.
What the... Staggering back, she managed to click off the light and hightail it back to her own bed.
Once there, she curled up in her familiar ball, but couldn’t relax enough to get comfortable. Again she briefly considered waking Kane up and asking him to sing to her, but she hadn’t the heart. So far, he’d been nothing but accommodating to her. She couldn’t be such a selfish person to keep such a man from his well-deserved rest.
If she didn’t manage to get to sleep tonight, she always had the car during the drive tomorrow. He’d promised it would be their last day of driving. And then they’d be... Grimacing, she realized she didn’t even know their destination. She told herself she needed to be more proactive, to take charge of her own destiny, or at least try.
And with that thought, somehow she must have fallen asleep, because when she next opened her eyes, it was morning. Kane’s bed was empty. Sitting up, she heard the sound of a shower going and smiled.
She’d done it. Gone to sleep alone in a room with a strange man, who wasn’t really a stranger anymore. Still... Baby steps, as her therapist had been fond of saying.
He gave her a curious look when he emerged from his shower, his dark hair still damp. She smiled at him, which appeared to shock him, since he froze, though he didn’t speak as she continued past him. Her smile held, even as she disappeared into the still-steamy bathroom.
When she came out, dressed and ready, he’d taken a seat in the chair by the door. “I’ve already loaded the car and turned in the key.”
Though she wondered at the impersonal tone to his voice, she simply nodded.
As usual, they got breakfast on the road. She waited until they’d both finished eating their egg sandwiches, turning the questions she wanted to ask around and around in her mind. For the past two days, she’d been wanting to ask, but hadn’t summoned the energy or the nerve. Finally, with her usual lack of finesse, she just blurted out the first one. “Where are we going?”
Kane’s smile told her he approved of her curiosity. “Leaning Tree, New York. It’s upstate, in the Catskill mountains. My entire family lives there.”
“Your family?” She hadn’t anticipated having to meet anyone else. Somehow she’d thought Kane was taking her to some sort of remote safe house where she’d live alone with him until it was safe to return home.
“Yep. Both my parents, two brothers and a sister, along with their respective spouses and a bunch of nieces and nephews.” He said this so cheerfully she could tell he expected her to greet this news with enthusiasm.
Damned if she didn’t hate to let him down. But she had no choice—she could barely master her own emotions yet, never mind try to summon up fake ones.
“Are we...” Licking her lips nervously, she tried to sound upbeat. “Are we going to be living with them?” Which would be close to a nightmare as far as she was concerned.
“Sort of.” Then, apparently noticing her crestfallen expression, he reached over and lightly squeezed her shoulder. “Don’t worry, you’ll still have your privacy.”
Though she didn’t see how, she didn’t pursue the questions any further. In fact, she wished she’d never asked. Now that she knew, her anxiety had rocketed sky-high.
She couldn’t imagine what Kane’s family, his no-doubt nice, normal family, would make of her, so clearly damaged and one short step away from crazy.
“Are you sure you want to impose on them?” she hesitantly asked. “Maybe we should find alternative lodging.”
He laughed. “They’d never forgive me if I did that. I haven’t been home in three years or more. Work got crazy and somehow I never made it. I owe them a nice long visit.”
Crud. Settling back in her seat, she swallowed the huge lump in her throat and tried again to concentrate on her breathing.
“Hey.” His voice softened. “My father owns a motel. It’s actually more of an old-fashioned motor court. There are separate cabins. I’ve asked to use the most remote one. It’s on the other side of a meadow and small lake. I promise, you won’t be crowded in with anyone.”
She nodded, wishing she could quiet the roiling turmoil inside her. Squaring her shoulders, she tried to reach inside her, to that dark, violent and often empty space, hoping she might find strength. Once or twice, she actually had, but that was years ago. Lucas and Blythe had talked often about their inner wolves, but Lilly was pretty sure hers had gone mad a long time ago. One thing she knew for sure, she could no longer touch her inner beast. Her father had believed this meant she’d conquered the demon he claimed lived inside her.
She knew better. The demon waited, crazed and hungry, ready to devour her the instant she gave it a chance.
“I’ve never seen anything like your aura,” he said. “Just now it went from black to gray, then swirls of purple started exploding, like fireworks. It’s unreal.”
Yet one more thing different about her. Sometimes she couldn’t help but believe Jacob Gideon had been right. She wasn’t normal, nor would she ever be. A few times she had actually considered the possibility she might be better off dead.
“My aura?” Again she said the first thing that came to mind. “I can’t see it, though Lucas told me it was...special. Can everyone see their own?”
From his crestfallen expression, he seemed to realize he’d hurt her. “I meant no offense. I’m sorry.”
Lifting her shoulder in a casual shrug cost her more than he’d ever know. “None taken.” She swallowed, steeling herself to meet his gaze. “Please, I’d really like to know. Can you see your own aura?”
“No.” He held her gaze for a second, and then turned his attention back to the road. “We can only see each others’. Oh, every now and then, if I’m walking by a mirror, I might catch a glimpse of the light surrounding me, but when I look full-on, it’s gone.”
Frustrated, she nodded. “That’s what I thought.” Once again, she glanced his way. “Yours looks a lot like Lucas’s. I figured mine looked more like Blythe’s. I’m guessing it doesn’t.”
A shadow crossed his face. Though she hadn’t exactly asked a question, she’d been hoping for confirmation. Blythe’s aura was gorgeous, bright and golden, exactly like her. In the short time Lilly had gotten to know her, she’d come to see the woman her twin brother loved with all his heart was beautiful both inside and out.
From the way everyone reacted to Lilly’s aura, she guessed now her own must be dark and twisted, full of holes and ugly mashes of color, like the ones inside her head.
Just like that, her faintly hopeful mood evaporated, and a crushing sense of doom settled down on her. Since these feelings frequently descended on her for no rhyme or reason, she knew there was no way to dissipate the blackness of her mood. She had to ride it out.
Turning her head away from Kane, she closed her eyes and waited for him to turn up the radio. When he didn’t, she reached out and did it herself.
* * *
Kane saw the first billboard when they were still thirty miles out from Leaning Tree. “Wolf Hollow Motor Court Resort, only thirty miles to paradise!” the sign proclaimed, along with a picture of a wild wolf howling at a full moon. Years ago, Kane’s father had decided to adopt an advertising strategy of using six billboards, five miles apart. Since the slogans never changed, Kane could recite all six of them from memory, even though he hadn’t been home in three years.
Lilly stirred in her seat, opening her eyes and leaning forward. “Do you feel that?” she asked, her low voice thrumming with emotion.
Kane went absolutely still, using both his human senses and his wolf. “No,” he finally said, regretful. “What was it?”
She settled back in her seat, shaking her head. “A feeling...intuition...I don’t know. Never mind. It was probably just my imagination.”
But he could tell it hadn’t been, not to her. Absurdly, he felt as if he’d let her down. “You’ve been asleep awhile. We’re almost there.”
Now she looked at him full-on, her blue eyes clear and wide-awake. “We made it here without any trouble.”
“Yes.” Entranced, he wondered if it was possible to drown in her gaze.
“No one followed us or tried to intercept us. I think it’s possible my brother was worried for nothing.”
Glad of the distraction, he dragged his gaze away from hers and flashed a grim smile. “No. All this means is we got away without them realizing it. Once they know you’re gone, they’ll be searching all over for you.”
Her vivid gaze didn’t waver. “Do you think they’ll find me?”
“Not yet.” At the stark fear flashing across her features, he almost swore, though at the last minute he bit back the words. “Bad choice of words. I don’t think they’ll find us. Not here.”
“That’s not what you said.” Cocking her head, she made a face, evidently downplaying her own fear. “But you think eventually they’ll track us down?”
He bit back a curse at his own carelessness. “It’s possible. Look, anything can happen. You know that. But it won’t be for a while, I promise. It’ll give us time to prepare.”
“Prepare how?”
Another billboard flashed into view. This time the wolf faced north, the direction they were heading.
Kane ignored it. “Lilly, in the time you spend with me, I’m going to teach you how to be strong, how to defend yourself. By the time we’re done in Leaning Tree, you should be prepared to take on any comer.”
Chapter 4
He’d surprised her, Kane realized. Her eyes widened and she opened her mouth, though no sound came out. He’d wondered how she’d react. Now, he was about to find out. What she said next stunned him.
“Good.” Her lush lips twisted in a semblance of a smile. “I don’t ever want to be a victim again. I’d like that. Very much.”
They were approaching another sign. “Look,” he urged, pointing. “My father’s idea of a brilliant marketing plan.”
She read out loud as they drove past. “Wolf Hollow? Is he—” she waved her hand vaguely “—like us?”
Kane appreciated the way she now lumped herself in with him and other Shifters. Lucas had told him that at first she’d been so terrified of being associated with her own kind, she’d tried to deny their existence.
Apparently, in the month she’d lived with her brother, Lucas had managed to convince her that she wasn’t a monster. Good.
“Yes.” He smiled at her, hoping to take away some of the sting. “Both my parents are Shape-shifters. Most of the town is Pack.”
A tiny frown creased her forehead. “Seriously? There are that many of us?”
He wasn’t surprised Lucas hadn’t fully educated her. In her situation, it made no sense to deluge her with too much information. He decided to keep things light. He’d give her more info later, when she was ready for it.
“Yes, there are millions of us, scattered all over the world. We exist alongside humans, living the same sort of lives they do. We also organize ourselves into Packs, but on a much broader scale than our wild brethren. Similar to the government, we have a national Pack, state Packs and local city and county ones.”
She nodded, clearly unimpressed. “I suppose that’s a good thing.”
Unable to suppress a grin, he nodded. “It is.” He liked this about her, this faint edge of prickliness. Much better than the reclusive shell of a woman he’d half expected. After what she’d been through, he considered any signs of a fighting spirit a good thing.
When he’d seen her reaction to the news story about the other women who’d been held captive, he’d seen sorrow, but not righteous rage. Quite honestly, he would have preferred the second.
Still, she’d come a long way. And he planned to be around to help her go the distance.
They pulled into Leaning Tree as the sun was beginning to set. The time of the gloaming, he’d heard it described once. The place looked just the way it always did in his mind; not much had changed since he’d lived there as a child. Huge leafy oaks and maples spread their thick green branches over the buildings on Main Street, shops and restaurants and a small Dutch Reform church that had been built in the early 1700s and had been lovingly restored.
Unlike downtown areas of most small towns, in Leaning Tree, cars still filled the parking lots and pedestrians strolled on well-lit sidewalks. Outdoor cafés did a bustling business—they passed full tables under umbrellas with tiny white lights. The scene could have been a postcard or the cover of a travel brochure. In fact, he thought it probably was.
“It’s beautiful,” Lilly breathed. Her eyes glowed as she took in her first glimpse of the place where she’d be living for the next few months.
He couldn’t help himself; he grinned. After the flat, Texas landscape with its sparse trees, Leaning Tree looked like heaven.
“My family’s motel is on the other side of town,” he told her. “Part of it borders on New York State forest preserve land.”
And just like that, she shut down. He grimaced, aware that the mention of his family had made her nervous again.
In fact, once they’d driven through downtown and taken the turnoff, following more strategically placed signs to Wolf Hollow Motor Court, she withdrew even further.
Refusing to acknowledge her tension, he knew the only thing he could do was express his own anticipation at seeing his family again. But how? As a man unaccustomed to sharing his feelings, he wasn’t sure what to say.
In the end, he decided to go with the truth.
“Every time I come for a visit, my mother goes on a baking binge,” he confided. “She’s a great cook, and I can’t wait to see what she’s made. Her apple pie melts in your mouth and no one can make chocolate chip cookies the way she does.”
When Lilly turned to look at him, a reluctant gleam of interest flickered in her eyes. “Cookies?”
He nodded. “And pies, cakes and whatever else she feels like making. We usually have a huge family dinner. Since I haven’t been home in several years, I imagine she’s gone crazy with the cooking.”
At least Lilly’d stopped twisting her hands in her lap. “What’s your father like?”
“He’s like a big, gruff bear.” He smiled to take the sting off his words. “But a kindhearted bear.”
“I see.” Though she nodded, he could tell she had no idea what he meant.
“My sister and my brothers and their spouses will probably be there for a welcome-home dinner,” he told her, aware it would be better if she were prepared for a crowd. “They can be a bit...boisterous.”
She swallowed hard. “Do they have children?”
“Yes. I have three nephews and two nieces. They range in age from four to twelve.”
Her smile seemed less wobbly. “I like children.”
“Good.” The road changed from pavement to gravel. “Here we are. Right around this bend.”
They pulled up in front of the main house, a low-slung, stone-and-wood creation with lots of glass that his parents had designed and built over thirty years before. As he coasted to a stop and killed the ignition, the door opened and his family began to spill from inside.
As they surrounded the car, Lilly made a low sound. Seeing the terrified look in her eyes, he squeezed her shoulder before opening his door and climbing out. “I’ll fend them off and then we’ll introduce you, okay?”
He didn’t hear her answer in the chorus of glad cries that followed as he was engulfed by family. His mama wrapped her plump arms around him, squeezing happily while raining kisses on his cheeks. She still smelled the same, like gardenias. She wore her long, gray hair in the same neat braid.
His brothers chimed in, thumping him on the back in glad “guy hugs.” His dad, a bald giant of a man, stood back, watching with a happy grin as he waited for his turn. Kane had nearly made his way over to him when his sister, just emerging from inside, squealed and launched herself at him, hugging and laughing and babbling happy words of welcome.
Meanwhile, all the kids swarmed around, playing and yelling and doing the hundred loud and endearing and annoying things small children do. Finally, Kane’s father tired of waiting and moved toward him, enveloping him in a bear hug. The scent of pipe tobacco and spearmint tickled Kane’s nose. Home. Finally, he was home.
Turning, he took note of his guest. Through all this, Lilly sat quietly in the car, not moving, as if by being still, she hoped not to draw attention to herself. He could only imagine what she thought of the uncontrolled chaos outside the car.
Clearing his throat loudly, Kane gestured for silence. His family ignored him, too caught up in the joy of seeing him. Next he tried clapping his hands and asking them to calm down. Again, this had no result.
Finally, he put his fingers in his mouth and whistled as loudly and ear-piercingly as he could.
Everyone went silent.
“Thank you,” he said, pitching his voice so that everyone could hear him. “As I mentioned to Mom and Dad, I have a guest with me. She’s been through a lot.”
Jostling each other to get a look at the passenger side of the car, some of them starting talking. Kane glared at the offending teenagers, and they instantly stopped. “As I was saying, Lilly Gideon is here with me. She’s not used to the organized craziness of our family, so I need to ask you to give her a little bit of space. Can you do that?”
He thought his serious tone must have registered, because the younger family members looked at their feet. Of course his parents, siblings and their spouses all nodded solemnly.
“Thank you.” He felt all eyes on his back as she crossed to the passenger side of his car and opened the door.
Lilly’s wide blue eyes stared up at him.
“It’s okay,” he said, and held out his hand. “I won’t let anything happen to you. You’re safe with me.”
She barely hesitated before sliding her fingers into his.
Helping her out of the car as if she was royalty, he kept his body close to her side as they turned to face his assembled family.
“These heathens,” he said fondly. “Belong to me. Lilly, meet the McGraws.”
As she bravely attempted a smile, he watched in gratified amusement while his normally boisterous family mumbled subdued hellos.
Then, Lilly lifted her chin and murmured hello back.
The instant she spoke, his family’s tenuous grip on propriety shattered. Chattering all at once, the female members, young and old alike, surrounded Lilly, touching, patting, smoothing back her hair. Kane held on to her hand, and felt her suddenly go rigid. Still, he didn’t interfere—he wouldn’t unless she asked him. She’d have to get used to his family sooner or later. Might as well jump in the deep end and learn how to swim.
Of course, the gentle pressure of his fingers on hers let her knew he’d always be her life preserver. Always.
While the women made a fuss over Lilly, the masculine contingent regarded Kane with a mixture of awe and disbelief.
“She’s beautiful,” his brother Kyle said, cuffing him on the arm.
“Damn.” His other brother Kris breathed, barely taking his gray eyes off Lilly. “How’d you rate a woman like that?”
Kane’s father chuckled, rubbing his shiny bald head. “Boys, he already told you he brought her here to keep her safe. He’s her bodyguard, nothing more.”
As one, both of Kane’s younger brothers turned to look at their father, disbelief plain on their rugged faces. “You’re telling me you believe him?” they asked in unison.
The elder McGraw shrugged. “Guess we’ll just have to wait and see.”
Before Kane could respond, Lilly squeezed his hand, hard, letting him know she’d reached her limit of endurance.
Without hesitation, he turned away from his father and brothers and gently began moving his mother, sister, sisters-in-law and cousins aside. “Come on ladies, give her a little space. We’ve been driving for four long days and she’s exhausted. Let me take her to our cabin so she can rest up.”
Lilly shot him a grateful look before her long lashes swept down to hide her eyes.
“But you’ll still be coming tonight for dinner, won’t you?” his mother asked, self-consciously patting her long gray braid. Kane gave a reassuring nod. If he knew her, and he did, she’d spent the past ten hours cooking. His mouth watered at the thought.
“Here you go, son.” His dad tossed him a set of keys. “I had cabin nine made ready for you, just like you requested.”
Catching the keys, Kane grinned his thanks, then shepherded Lilly back into the car. Once he’d closed the door behind her, he crossed to the driver’s side. “See you later,” he said, lifting his hand in a wave.
Once he closed the door, cutting off the noise outside, he started the engine. “You all right?”
“Yes.” The wobbly answer told him she wasn’t, not exactly, but he knew she’d be fine.
“They mean well,” he told her.
“I know,” she said, her slight smile curving her lips surprising him. “And even though they’re Shifters, they don’t bite.”
A joke? Was she making a joke? Just in case she was, he grinned back at her.
“Where are we going?” she asked.
“Our cabin. It’s the most isolated one, and also the most difficult to get to. There’s only one way in, at least by road.”
The gravel road crunched under their tires as they passed the first four rental cabins. Made of wood and surrounded by towering trees, these were clustered around a parklike garden, complete with wild rose bushes in vivid colors, a vine-covered arbor and a wood-and-metal bench. A stone wolf statue occupied a place of honor in the middle, as if it had been meant to be a shrine of sorts. At one time in his family’s long history of owning this land, Kane supposed it had been.
“That’s beautiful,” she breathed. He couldn’t tell if she meant the garden or the statue or both. Either way, though the land and the place glowed with earthen beauty, none of it could hold a candle to her.
“Yes,” he answered, his heart full. The road curved ahead of them, steadily climbing through the untamed forest. The next four wooden cabins sat in a semi-circle to the right, situated around a small, spring-fed lake. A doe and two fawns looked up at their approach and vanished into the woods.
At the sight, Kane’s inner wolf snarled, reminding him that soon they’d go hunting. Maybe even tonight after the big meal if they followed tradition. He’d have to make sure Lilly knew and offer her the choice to join them or retreat to their cabin.