A Baby To Save Their Marriage
- -
- 100%
- +
He felt a little pang. When was the last time Tristan had done that?
And more importantly, why would it be his briefcase? It felt as if it were permanently attached to his hand—and that must be the way it seemed to his son.
He leaned forward as he watched Tristan play. A full-blown wrestling match had started above the clothes. When was the last time he’d watched Tristan play?
Everything Addison had just said to him was firing off sparks in his brain. In most instances, he was searching desperately for memories of the last time he’d done something with his wife and son. And the more he searched, the guiltier he felt.
She’d meant it. She’d looked into his eyes and meant it when she’d said they wouldn’t come home.
He’d thought Addison and he would be together for ever. At least, that was what it used to feel like. He’d already decided a few days ago that there was no way he could go on this holiday. He just actually hadn’t taken the time to sit down and talk to his wife about it.
More fool him.
Something was wrong. Something was very wrong and he hadn’t paid attention until around ten minutes ago.
He knew exactly what had happened to Addison.
He had.
He pulled his phone out of his pocket as he watched Tristan. He was still in charge of the wrestling match. He was so happy and good-natured. He couldn’t ask for a better son.
Tristan glanced at him and thrust a wrestler towards him. ‘Here, Daddy, you can have this one. He’s getting old, like you.’
There was such an innocence in his words. Tristan thought he was old? But of course he did. He’d spent the last three years looking tired and that would be all the memories that Tristan had of him.
He looked around the room. It was still decorated in baby blues. Underneath the bed was a pile of fresh wallpaper, bedding and stickers all covered in pictures of planets. He’d promised to decorate around eight months ago. The pile had been there ever since.
But there was more. Addison had brought up the subject of having another baby around a year ago.
He’d always imagined they’d have a big family. He’d always wanted to have a big family.
But her words had gripped him in a way he hadn’t expected.
They’d never really sat down and discussed it. But Addison had paled into a shadow of herself in the months after giving birth to Tristan. He’d helped as much as he could. He’d frequently got up and done the night feeds. He’d made excuses for not being at work. He’d stayed around as frequently as he could, at first, to try and give her a break, and then to try and get them to spend time together as a family. For the first few months her face had been almost blank when she’d looked at Tristan. It had felt as if she were slipping away a little more each day.
He’d spoken to the GP. He’d spoken to the health visitor—asking what else he could do. They’d reassured him he was doing everything he could and just to be patient. Finally, he’d seen little glimpses of his wife again. A smile when she saw Tristan smile. A willingness to take part. The dark circles had eventually dimmed beneath her eyes and the spark of life that always surrounded her had finally emerged again.
He couldn’t let that happen to her again. He wouldn’t do that to his wife again.
As he stared around Tristan’s room it was as if everything came crashing down on him all at once.
He’d thought he might lose his family once before.
There was no way he could let this happen. There was no way he was letting his family slip through his fingers. The thought of coming home at night to an empty house filled him with horror.
He had to sort this. He had to. He didn’t want to imagine his world without them in it.
He pressed the redial button on his phone. ‘Harry, there’s been a change of plan.’
His phone buzzed as he kept talking. He walked through to the bedroom. Addison wasn’t there. A large suitcase was sitting open on the bed, completely empty. It must be for him.
As Harry kept talking Caleb reached into his large wardrobe and picked up a whole stack of T-shirts, dropping them into the suitcase exactly the way they were. He had to lean further back to find a pile of shorts. He sent a silent prayer above that they might actually still fit as he threw them and some swimming shorts into the case. Underwear was easy. He pulled out one entire drawer and tipped it up into the case.
Feet. What would he wear on his feet?
He looked down. His feet were damp from his earlier walk through the soaked London streets. He kicked off his shoes and dropped his trousers to the floor. His shirt was pulled over his head and abandoned with the rest of his things on the floor.
What to travel in? He grabbed a pair of three-quarter-length trousers and a polo shirt, sticking his feet into a pair of baseball boots and throwing some others in the case.
Tristan appeared at the door and smiled at his father’s packing efforts. He tucked a few wrestlers into the case along with a London bus, New York taxi cab and space shuttle. ‘I had a few spares. I’ll give you a little loan.’
Caleb laughed. By the time Tristan was finished the entire contents of his room would be hidden between the three cases.
Caleb looked around. Was he done? His briefcase sat in the corner of the room. The charging cables for his phone and laptop were in there. He’d be able to work wherever they were. Internet was everywhere these days and as for international calls? He’d just need to swallow the costs.
A quick check of the en suite gave him some deodorant, his toothbrush and his shaving gear. At the last second he reached over to grab some aftershave and then stopped, put it back, and grabbed another one from under the sink. Harry had finally finished talking.
‘I’ll be at the airport in an hour. I’ll send you that report from the lounge.’ He rang off. The buzz had been a text message.
His best friend, Reuben Tyler. He was on his way back from LA. Reuben’s roof had been undergoing repairs and the roofers had discovered asbestos. He couldn’t stay there. He knew Caleb was going on holiday, could he stay at his?
Caleb dashed off a reply telling him where the key was and how to turn off the alarm. Best not mention it to Addison. Reuben wasn’t exactly her favourite of Caleb’s friends.
He glanced at the case. Done. What else could he need? Why did some people spend days packing?
He zipped it up and picked it off the bed.
As he walked down the stairs he heard the taxi beep outside.
‘Come on, Tristan!’ shouted Addison. ‘It’s time to go.’
She hadn’t noticed him yet. Was she really just going to walk out of the front door without talking to him again?
The taxi driver appeared at the door and picked up the two waiting cases.
Tristan bolted down the stairs ahead of him carrying two wrestlers. Addison smiled and shook her head. ‘No way, you’ve already got ten in your backpack. That’s the limit.’ She held out his small red baseball jacket and waited for him to slide his arms inside.
She’d changed. She was wearing cream casual trousers and a pink top.
Caleb cleared his throat.
Addison did a double take. She was shocked. She was stunned that he’d actually packed and changed. Did she really think that little of him? Did she really think that he’d just let his wife and child leave without a fight?
‘You’ve packed.’
He stepped forward and sat his case down. ‘I’ve packed.’ He looked her straight in the eye.
She blinked and picked up the passport she’d left sitting on the side table and slid it into her bag.
The taxi driver stuck his head inside and picked up the case. ‘Last one?’
Caleb nodded.
‘And where we headed?’
‘Heathrow.’
Caleb cringed inwardly. He couldn’t even remember where they were going. He knew it was hot. It might be the Caribbean, or the Seychelles—somewhere like that. He remembered her mentioning it was a long flight, first stop LA and after that...
Nope. He just couldn’t remember. It hadn’t registered in his brain.
Like so many other things.
He turned back to pick up his briefcase. Addison frowned and he tried not to be annoyed.
He was coming on holiday. He would be spending time with them. But he also needed to do some work. Surely she could understand that?
She took Tristan’s hand firmly in hers. ‘Let’s go, honey, we need to get on the big plane.’
‘Come on, Daddy!’ yelled Tristan over his shoulder.
Caleb glanced at the abandoned wrestlers on the side table. He picked them up and tucked them in his briefcase. Anything to keep the little guy happy.
Addison was strapping Tristan into the back of the cab.
She straightened up and stretched her back. ‘Okay?’ he asked as he walked up behind her.
She didn’t even answer the question. Her mind seemed to be away in a world of its own.
He paused before he climbed in the cab. ‘Addison, everything will be fine.’
He didn’t want to acknowledge what had just happened between them. He didn’t want to acknowledge the fact his wife had just issued him with an ultimatum. He didn’t want to give brain space to the fact she’d just threatened to leave.
Her clear green eyes met his. ‘Will it?’ she asked before she climbed in the cab and slammed the door, staring straight ahead.
Caleb swallowed. Addison seemed anything but fine.
Where did they go from here?
CHAPTER TWO
THREE HOURS LATER they were finally on their flight. Addison had felt herself silently fume as Caleb had spent most of his time on his computer or on his phone in the business lounge while she kept Tristan entertained.
Her head was in turmoil. She wanted to snatch the computer from his hands and search for everything she could find on nuchal screening and being labelled high risk.
But that wouldn’t help her. Nothing would help her right now. Her heart had flip-flopped when Dr Mackay had told her children with Down’s syndrome could have heart problems. Somewhere in the back of her mind she’d heard that before. Weren’t there other associated conditions? She just didn’t know enough about these things. She had no background knowledge in anything medical related.
At some point she would need to tell Caleb about the pregnancy. Then, she’d need to tell him about the phone call.
She wasn’t sure how he would react to any of it.
She was still shocked that he’d actually come.
It was weird. Even though things had been awkward between them, if you’d asked her a few days ago, she would never have thought that Caleb would try and back out of the holiday.
Even though she’d reminded him on a few occasions to pack his case—and he hadn’t got around to it—she’d still hoped he’d remember.
But when he’d been late back today and been so busy on his phone her heart had sunk like a stone. And when he’d actually started to say that he was too busy and the timing didn’t suit she’d wanted to throw something at him.
That had been it. That had been the point that the mist had come down and she’d been at the point of no return. The phone call hadn’t helped. But it hadn’t been the catalyst. Caleb and his complete disregard of her and Tristan had been the catalyst.
When she’d given him the ultimatum she’d actually thought he wouldn’t come. She’d actually thought she’d just called time on their marriage.
She’d had to disappear into one of the empty bathrooms upstairs to allow herself some silent sobs.
All she could think about right now was how she would cope on her own with two children. Tristan was just a ball of energy. He would be over the moon to find out he was going to have a little brother or sister. But Tristan had been a poor sleeper. He’d suffered from colic and no amount of remedies or different kinds of bottles had helped. Sometimes at night he’d screamed for hours. She’d only managed to cope because she’d had Caleb right by her side.
He’d always known when to send her back to bed and disappear with the screaming Tristan downstairs. A few hours later she’d find him slumped on the sofa with a peaceful Tristan sleeping on his chest.
How would she manage if this baby was the same and there was no Caleb to help?
She sucked in a deep breath. She’d never felt so unsettled. She’d never felt so restless. She’d never felt so alone.
She was scared. The next few weeks would tell her everything she needed to know. Whether she was in this alone, or whether her husband would be at her side.
They couldn’t keep going the way they were. Somewhere along the line they’d lost each other.
‘Flight 234 to LAX is now boarding at Gate Twelve.’
She sat upright. ‘Come on, Tristan, that’s us. It’s time to go.’
He scrambled to his feet, anxious to get on board the plane. Caleb was still typing away on his computer.
Addison couldn’t help a silent smirk. When he reached their destination he’d get a huge wake-up call when he realised there was no phone line and no Internet. Did he honestly think it was acceptable to come on holiday with his family and spend his time working?
Sometimes Caleb had rocks in his head.
She boarded the plane with Tristan and helped him set up his television for a kids’ show. She didn’t say a word when Caleb finally sat down next to them.
The stewardess appeared. ‘Champagne?’
‘Apple juice, please.’
Caleb looked surprised but didn’t comment. He accepted the glass of champagne and started sipping.
The ten-hour flight took them well into the middle of the night and Tristan spent a good part of it fast asleep. When they had to change planes at LAX for Tahiti, Caleb carried him through the airport and settled him back into his seat on the next plane.
Eight hours later they switched onto their final fifty-minute flight to the Bora Boras.
As they’d landed in Tahiti his phone had beeped. He’d pulled it out of his pocket, glanced at it and pushed it away again.
She felt a little twinge. Maybe she should warn him that after the next flight he wouldn’t get a signal? But part of her was afraid he might refuse to get on the next plane. And she was just too exhausted to have another fight.
She hadn’t been able to relax on any of the flights so far. She was too keyed up. Her mind was constantly spinning. By the time she reached the Bora Boras she would be fit only to fall into bed.
The small white plane had only fifty passengers. Even though she was absolutely exhausted, the view from the plane was spectacular. The travel agent had told her that writers and artists called the Bora Boras the most beautiful islands in the world. They weren’t wrong.
For this part of the journey, she was glad she was still awake.
The aerial view of the green, jagged volcanic peak of towering Mount Otemanu appeared on the horizon. It was surrounded by a captivating, vivid blue lagoon. As they descended she was amazed by the many blues of the Bora Bora lagoon. It wasn’t one island, instead it was a collection. The airport was on its own islet, one of a number of small barrier islands forming a ring around the lagoon. There were a variety of resorts set on the beautiful sandy beaches. Some extended out over the lagoon with their wooden walkways connecting to thatched-roof over-water bungalows. Others had lodges perched on the steep hillside and some had hideaway villas set right on the water’s edge. Each resort seemed more beautiful than the one before.
Fifty minutes later they had arrived in paradise.
‘Welcome to the Bora Boras,’ shouted the pilot as they landed.
The airport was small. A smart dark-skinned man was waiting with a sign saying Connor.
He gave them a polite nod and took their luggage, guiding them over to a glistening white boat on a wooden pier. Caleb stopped and looked around. The view of the blue lagoon was dazzling, bright turquoise next to white sandy beaches. And even though the lagoon was a hive of activity, it also had an air of tranquillity about it.
‘Wow,’ he said quietly.
Addison pressed her lips together. This was entirely what she’d wanted to capture. A bit of peace. A bit of luxury. And a bit of togetherness. Would they really be able to capture all three?
‘We get to go on a boat!’ shouted Tristan. She’d no idea where he got his energy from. After twenty hours of travel she’d expected him to be as exhausted as she was. But he’d slept part way on both flights while, no matter how hard she tried, she just couldn’t sleep sitting up.
They climbed on board the sleek white boat. Tristan ran up to the front where he could watch the boat being steered. It didn’t take long to cross the beautiful lagoon and drop them at their resort where they were met with staff greeting them with fresh leis, who picked up their bags and checked them in. Their bungalow sat on the white sandy beach. It had a large sitting room and kitchen, with two bedrooms and a master suite that opened out onto the beach. The rooms were luxurious while still paying homage to the Polynesian style. They also had a small over-water bungalow with thatched roof and walkway and its own hot tub. Tristan couldn’t hide his excitement when he saw the glass panel in the floor with fish swimming underneath in the tropical waters. ‘Look, Mummy, look!’
It couldn’t be more perfect. She’d been nervous about them staying in the bungalows over water since Tristan was coming with them. But this had been a compromise. This way she had the safety of a beach house with the magic of the water bungalow too.
She unpacked their clothes as Caleb looked around. The first thing he unpacked was his computer. Apart from when stepping off the plane, he hadn’t really taken in the beauty around them.
She tried to hide her frustration but twenty hours of travel would wear anyone’s patience thin.
She dug out Tristan’s beach wear and covered him in suncream. It took him less than a minute to run across the sand and start digging with his spade and splashing in the water. She changed into her swimming costume and arranged herself under the nearby parasol and sun lounger where she could watch him.
Her peace lasted less than five minutes.
‘How do I connect to the Internet?’ Caleb asked from the doorway of the bungalow.
‘You don’t.’
He frowned. ‘What do you mean?’
She shook her head. ‘There is no Internet.’
The furrows on his brow deepened. He hadn’t changed his clothes or stopped to appreciate their surroundings. ‘There has to be. Where is the phone line?’
She shrugged. ‘I don’t think there is one. There’s an intercom that links to Reception if we need anything. I think we just use that.’
She was doing her absolute best to appear casual. It was pretty ironic really since she was staring over at the volcanic peak of Mount Otemanu. She absolutely knew that when he realised there was definitely no phone or Internet he’d go off with more explosions than Mount Otemanu ever had.
The doors to the house were wide open so she could hear him moving around inside. Part of her felt a little sad. They’d just landed in paradise and he hadn’t come out to play with his son in the sand, or to sit next to her on the sun lounger. It made her absolutely determined that she’d made the right decision. She needed a chance to see her husband again. She needed a chance to see how he was without any of the trappings of work attached to him. They needed a chance to be stripped bare. And this was the only place to do it. There was no room for distractions here. It was just them, and Tristan.
And the secret baby package.
She looked back at the bungalow and watched as he paced around inside, stressing and searching the room for any hidden phone lines or Wi-Fi connections.
The Caleb Connor that she’d met ten years ago would never have stressed about being constantly connected to the world. He would never have spent time on holiday virtually ignoring his wife and child.
This was the life she led now. And this was the reason she knew she had to take a step to see if this marriage could be saved. She would never introduce another child into this way of life.
Oh, no matter what the outcome of this holiday, she would always have this baby. But she wanted to be prepared. She wanted to have time to plan, to know whether she would be doing this alone or not—particularly if she and her baby needed additional support.
One in one hundred and forty. Most people would think the odds were in their favour.
In one hundred and thirty-nine chances the baby wouldn’t be affected.
But in one of those chances it would.
She’d thought about this before. When she’d had Tristan she’d been told she was low risk. But her midwife had carefully explained that low risk didn’t equal no risk. There was always that possibility. And she’d understood that then, just as she did now.
It was amazing how much this had caused her to focus. The holiday had been booked. Since she’d found out she was pregnant she knew she needed to deal with the elephant in the room. In fact, she was pretty sure an elephant could have been sitting in their front room and Caleb wouldn’t have noticed. That was how distant he’d been.
The distance made her uncomfortable. It reminded her of a time before—a time that seemed a little hazy for her—a time where the distance between them had been her fault. She squeezed her eyes closed for a second. She didn’t like to remember anything about that.
She heard a loud beep. It was Caleb on the intercom. ‘How do I connect to the Internet?’
The bright sing-song voice answered straight away. ‘No Internet here. Sorry.’
‘What do you mean there’s no Internet? Everywhere has Internet. There must be somewhere I can get a connection?’ She could hear the anger in his voice. It drifted out of the doors towards them and Tristan, who had come back to play next to her, looked up from digging in the sand. She shook her head and he put his head back down and kept building his castle.
‘No connection on the Bora Boras, sir.’
‘What about a phone? Can I have access to a phone?’
‘Only radio contact with the mainland, sir. That’s the beauty of our resort. Most people come here specially.’
She heard the click again then the thudding footsteps. A few seconds later the small amount of sun sneaking under the parasol was blocked out.
He had his hands on his hips. His lips were pressed tightly together and there was a tic in his jaw. ‘Tell me you know where the Wi-Fi is.’ There was a tad of desperation in his voice.
She pushed her sunglasses up on her head and pressed her hand against her chest in mock horror. ‘There’s no Wi-Fi?’ She sagged back against the sun lounger. ‘Tragedy.’ She shot him a little smile. ‘Your computer and phone will probably spontaneously combust now. Just as well there’s a perfect ocean to throw them in.’
He sighed and sat down, running his fingers through his hair. ‘Oh, Addison. I’m in the middle of a deal right now. This could make or break our company. The only reason I came was because I knew I could still work remotely.’
‘And that’s why I didn’t tell you.’
She put her hand on Tristan’s shoulder. ‘Why don’t you go inside and have a little lie down for a while? I’ll come inside and put a DVD on for you.’ He disappeared quickly into the bungalow.
Addison swung her legs around and stood up, the warm sand beneath her feet.
‘You’re absolutely right. I deliberately picked a place with no phone and no Internet. Ask yourself why. You’ve forgotten we even exist. You treat us as if we’re not important. This deal could make or break your company?’ She waved her hand. ‘I’ve heard that for the last three years. Maybe the first time I believed it. But every time after that? I don’t think so.’
She stepped closer to him. Close enough that she could see the exhaustion in his face and the fine lines that had appeared all around his eyes. ‘What I do believe is that the only reason you came is because you thought you could work here remotely.’ She shook her head. ‘Think about that for a minute, Caleb. Just think about it. Do you think that’s normal for a family holiday? Do you think that’s what most husbands and fathers do on holiday?’