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He shrugged. “I’ve gotten used to the inn. They’ve given me a decent monthly rate, and there’s no housekeeping or upkeep.”
Raylene shook her head. “You are downright pitiful. You spent way too many years being waited on, didn’t you?”
He grinned unrepentantly. “Probably. The truth is, though, that I haven’t had ten minutes to string together to go house hunting, much less enough money put aside for a down payment,” he said. “The house in Alabama still hasn’t sold because the real estate market over there sucks. It’s a mill town and people are losing their jobs. Their homes are going into foreclosure. The market’s glutted, but I did finally get a solid lead on a buyer last week.”
“Well, then, it’s time to start looking here,” Raylene said optimistically.
“Not until the deal’s closed,” Walter insisted. “Too many things could go wrong. I can’t just rely on what I’m making at the station. The pay’s not that great. Travis is working on getting approval for a stronger signal for the station. If that comes through, then I’m going to be on the road even more driving to all the new towns our signal will reach. It’ll mean more money, though.”
“You’re just full of excuses, aren’t you?” Raylene commented. “Think about this. Being on the road more is all the more reason to find a comfortable home to come back to.” She set a bowl in front of him, then handed him a light dressing. Her expression dared him to ask for his preferred blue cheese.
Walter took the vinaigrette with a sigh. “You can be such a nag. Worse, you don’t even have to say a word.”
“You’re the one who was complaining about gaining weight,” she reminded him. “Now, about the house. Why don’t you call Rory Sue Lewis. She’s working with her mother now. Tell her what you want and let her do all the legwork. Then give her an hour and see what she’s come up with. I’ll bet she can help you figure out financing, too. At the least she can make the sale contingent on selling the house in Alabama, so you won’t have that worry hanging over you. You won’t be on the hook unless the money’s there.”
“You honestly think it will be that easy?” he asked skeptically. “Rory Sue’s new at the real estate business from what I hear. Her mama’s the expert.”
Raylene got a wicked gleam in her eye. “But Rory Sue’s an expert at figuring out what men want. I’ll put money on her finding a way to satisfy you.”
Walter paused, his fork in midair, and studied Raylene’s suddenly innocent expression. “Are you matchmaking?” he asked warily.
“What if I am? You’re a free man.”
“With no spare time,” he corrected. “Between work and the kids, I have no time. I just told you that.”
“Every man will make time for women and sex,” she countered. “It’s a law of nature.”
“And women?” he queried, tossing the ball right back into her court. “You’ve been shut away in here for the better part of a year. How’s your love life?”
Rather than taking offense, as he’d half expected, she merely laughed. “Hey, I’m willing. The men just have to find me.”
Walter regarded her soberly. Despite her laughter, he found the response unbearably sad. “That’s no way to live, Raylene, and you know it.”
She sobered at once. “Not the first time you’ve mentioned that. Just so you know, I called Dr. McDaniels this morning. She’s coming here tomorrow. I guess we’ll finally get to the bottom of my problem.”
“About time,” Walter said, relieved for her.
She regarded him wearily. “That’s what all of you think,” she said. “But no one seems to be thinking about what happens if there’s no way to fix me.”
Walter heard the genuine fear behind her lightly spoken words and reached for her hand. “Then you’ll handle that,” he said confidently. “But I believe you’re strong enough to deal with anything, Raylene. I mean that. You just may be the strongest woman I know.”
Uncomfortable with the unexpected, if heartfelt, emotion, he stood up and backed away. “Now I’ve got to get back to work before Travis finds out I’m over here instead of selling airtime. You need anything after you see the doctor tomorrow, you call me, you hear? I may be a poor substitute for a Sweet Magnolia, but I am your friend, and I’ve got a broad shoulder you can lean on.”
Raylene’s eyes filled with tears. “Sure,” she said. “Thanks.”
As Walter got in his car, he thought about what had just happened. If anyone had ever told him he could have deep feelings for a woman without wanting to get her into bed, he’d have sworn they were nuts. That was the way it was between him and Raylene, though. They were friends, the kind who backed each other up, and he’d meant what he said. If she needed him, he would be here.
Of course, knowing Raylene, it would be a cold day in hell before she ever admitted needing anyone.
3
Raylene wasn’t entirely shocked when she saw Helen Decatur coming up the walk after dinner on the night after Tommy’s adventure. She’d half expected the attorney to stop by and warn her about possible charges that could be filed against her if she wasn’t more careful in the future.
When she opened the door, though, Helen merely held out a bottle of tequila, a bag of limes and a can of frozen limeade.
“Time for a margarita night,” Helen declared.
“Just you and me?” Raylene queried.
Helen grinned. “Are you kidding me? Sweet Magnolias do not get to drink alone, or even in pairs. The others will be here soon.”
“Did Sarah know about this?”
Helen nodded. “She’s the one who made the calls,” she revealed as she headed for the kitchen to start making a batch of her lethal margaritas. “She thought you needed a boost to your spirits. She also said she had the Triple Sec. Any idea where I’d find it?”
As Raylene retrieved the bottle from the pantry, Helen found the blender without asking and then, with the skill of many years of practice, she put the ingredients for the frozen drinks in and turned it on. A moment later, she added crushed ice and ran the mixture through another cycle until she had an innocent-looking concoction that could fell a lumberjack.
“Sarah also thought you might want to talk about what that deputy implied when he was here,” Helen added casually, glancing at Raylene as she handed her a drink.
“You mean the implication that there would be legal consequences if Tommy ever slipped away from me again?”
Helen nodded. “If the man wants to be a hard-ass, he could probably stir up some trouble, but I’ll handle it.” She grinned and lifted a glass filled with a frothy, icy drink. “It’s taken me a little longer than expected to hit my stride again after maternity leave and my mom’s broken hip, but I’m back now. No one is tougher in court than I am.”
“I know you might relish the idea of going toe-to-toe with the deputy in court, but I think it might be wiser if I’m not in a position for anything like this to happen again,” Raylene told her. “Sarah, Travis and I are agreed, I will never be alone with the kids, not even for a few minutes. We were lucky this time, but I’m not taking any more chances.”
“Still, things can happen,” Helen said. “I’m just saying you don’t need to worry. I have your back.”
“Thank you. You came through for me with my divorce from Paul. I have enough financial resources that I haven’t had to think about trying to work. And you gave me great advice when I had to give my deposition against him for assault and abuse. I trust you implicitly, but I’m also determined that your help won’t be needed with this.”
Helen studied her intently, then nodded. “Okay, then,” she said. “Let’s get this party started.”
As if her words had been carefully timed, Sarah suddenly came into the kitchen. Annie appeared at the back door, followed by her mother, Dana Sue Sullivan, the owner of Sullivan’s restaurant, as well as Maddie Maddox, who ran The Corner Spa—which was owned by Dana Sue, Maddie and Helen—and Jeanette McDonald, who ran the day-spa services and was married to Travis’s cousin. Years ago as teenagers, Dana Sue, Maddie and Helen had formed the Sweet Magnolias, a tight circle of friends. Then they’d drawn in Jeanette, and now the new generation, which included Annie, Sarah and Raylene.
The margarita-night gatherings had become a tradition years ago, a time for the women to share their problems, their successes and a whole lot of laughter. That they’d come together for her touched Raylene in unexpected ways. She couldn’t seem to stop the tears that welled up.
“Hey, are you about to cry?” Sarah asked her.
Raylene nodded. “Afraid so. I can’t believe everyone is here just to cheer me up, especially when I’m the one who messed up.”
“Hey, little princess, it’s not all about cheering you up,” Annie said, nudging her in the side. “Some of it’s about the margaritas and Mom’s guacamole. Not that I get to drink a margarita. I’m still nursing the baby.”
“It’s a small sacrifice to make to have a healthy baby,” Raylene scolded. “And by the way, I am so not a princess.”
“Did you or did you not have a debutante ball in Charleston?” Sarah asked. “I seem to recall you looking like a princess in a fairy tale that night. You showed us the pictures often enough.”
Raylene winced. It seemed like a million years ago when her grandparents had talked her into that. That she’d gotten all caught up in the social whirl and lost focus about what really mattered in life still amazed her. She’d been persuaded to go to private school for her senior year and had lost contact with her friends.
Recently, the best part of coming back to Serenity had been finding herself surrounded by people who didn’t put on airs, live by a calendar of parties and fund-raisers, and who were totally grounded. Her friends here—Sweet Magnolias and beyond—were real. She understood the difference now and valued it.
“To my very deep regret, I did have a coming out season,” she conceded.
“There’s nothing wrong with having a big, fancy party,” Helen soothed. “In my day, I loved any chance to get dressed up and put on a pair of kick-ass shoes.” Her expression turned mournful as she held out feet clad in expensive flats. “These days I can’t stand up for more than two seconds in the kind of high heels I always loved.”
“Tonight is not about how much you miss your Manolos and Jimmy Choos,” Maddie teased.
“I was just trying to point out to Raylene that parties aren’t necessarily bad,” Helen countered.
“They are if you start thinking those kinds of events are the most important things in life,” Raylene said. “I was so determined to make my mother and grandparents happy, I forgot what mattered to me. And let’s not forget that was the night I met Paul Hammond and sealed my fate with that louse.”
Paul had been older, a medical student, in fact, but he’d come to the party as a date for a plain Jane cousin whose partner had bailed on her. He’d spent the entire evening flirting with Raylene, whose own dull date was the grandson of friends of her grandparents.
By the end of the evening she’d been smitten, and despite the difference in ages, her grandparents and even her mother had encouraged the match. Her father had clearly disapproved, but he hadn’t gone against his wife’s wishes. She and Paul had married soon after she turned eighteen, while he was serving his medical internship.
The stress of his demanding training had been the excuse for all the times he’d lost his temper with her. After a while he hadn’t bothered with excuses for what began as verbal attacks and escalated over time into more violent behavior.
The marriage had been a horror show, all the more terrifying because on the few occasions when she’d tried to tell her mother what was happening, her fears had been dismissed. She’d been told she was overreacting, and that all marriages hit rough patches. Too many times she’d been reminded of all the advantages that would come with being married to a successful doctor from a prominent Charleston family. Her relationship with her mother had been permanently damaged by Raylene’s discovery that she couldn’t count on her mother when it mattered.
Not wanting to dwell in the past, Raylene shook off the memories and took another sip of her margarita. “Let’s not go there,” she said as the others nodded readily and lifted their glasses.
“I propose a toast to Raylene and a brighter future,” Sarah said. “Do you mind if I tell them about tomorrow?”
“What’s happening tomorrow?” Helen asked.
“Dr. McDaniels is coming here to determine if I have a panic disorder of some kind that keeps me from leaving the house,” Raylene told them. “I guess we’ll find out if I’m nuts or just lazy.”
“You’re not either one,” Sarah said fiercely. “Stop saying things like that.”
“I agree,” Dana Sue said, crossing the room to give Raylene a hug. “I’m so glad you’re finally seeing her. She was a godsend to Annie, wasn’t she, sweetie?”
Annie nodded. “I’d probably be dead if not for her. I still rely on her guidance from time to time when I get scared that I’m falling into my old eating pattern. Fortunately, right now, I seem to be eating all the time. And nursing Meg seems to keep me from gaining an ounce.”
Any mention of Annie’s baby was enough to make Raylene feel a deep sense of sorrow for the baby she’d lost. Even though she’d only been in her first trimester, the baby had already been real to her. When she’d started bleeding and had miscarried just days after one of Paul’s beatings, it had been worse than anything else she’d suffered at his hands. The only blessing that had come from that awful tragedy was that she’d finally found the strength to leave him and end her marriage.
Annie gave her hand a squeeze, her expression sympathetic. Though Raylene had never mentioned losing her child to Annie, she knew Sarah had probably told her. It was one secret she was relieved not to have to talk about herself.
“Your turn will come,” Annie whispered. “I know it.”
Raylene regarded her sadly. “I’m just glad to be here with friends. I don’t need miracles.”
“But you deserve one,” Annie insisted. “And something tells me one is just around the corner.”
When Raylene saw the sheriff’s cruiser pull to a stop in front of the house, her heart climbed into her throat. She thought of Annie’s words the night before and had to choke back a laugh. Surely this wasn’t the miracle Annie had had in mind for her. She knew what the man now identified as Carter Rollins thought of her. Travis had told Sarah of their conversation, and Sarah, fit to be tied, had told Raylene after last night’s Sweet Magnolias gathering.
She watched as he crossed the front lawn with long strides and a look of purpose on his face. Was it possible he’d found some crime with which to charge her? Could he do that without Travis and Sarah wanting him to? She barely resisted the desire to grab the phone and call Helen for advice before opening the door to him.
Instead, though, she stood tall and waited. One thing she knew all too well was how to put on a facade when she was feeling scared or out of her element. She’d put on more shows in public during her pitiful marriage than any actress in a Broadway production. The minute the doorbell rang, she swung open the door and offered him her brightest smile.
“Deputy Rollins, I wasn’t expecting to see you again so soon. Did you stop by to check on Tommy and Libby?” she asked, seizing the initiative. “They’re taking their naps right now. I can assure you they’re in their beds, right where they belong. Laurie, the babysitter, is in the den.” She leveled a knowing look directly into his eyes. “Feel free to check if you don’t believe me.”
To his credit, he flushed ever so slightly. He removed his sunglasses, revealing hazel eyes with emerald flecks. He fiddled nervously with the glasses. “Actually I was around the corner on a call and thought I’d come by to offer you the apology I think I owe you.”
“Oh?”
“I misjudged you the other day,” he admitted, looking uncomfortable.
“Did you really?”
His lips twitched a little at her response. “I’m sure you know all about it, because Mr. McDonald was pretty indignant on your behalf.”
“He might have mentioned something about a conversation the two of you had, though he told his wife, not me,” she admitted. “Sarah filled me in.”
He nodded. “I had a feeling it would work something like that, Serenity being the kind of town it is. As Mr. McDonald informed me, folks here look after their own.”
“We certainly try to,” she agreed. She decided he’d squirmed enough and let her ingrained manners kick in. Southern women were always ready to offer a cool drink, if not an entire spread of food, at a moment’s notice. “Could I offer you some coffee? Maybe a glass of lemonade or some sweet tea? It’s another scorcher out there today. There are cookies, too, if the kids haven’t gotten to them today.”
He looked a bit startled by the invitation. “You sure?”
She gave him a thoughtful survey that brought more color to his cheeks. “Well, despite the fact that you’re wearing a gun, you don’t look all that dangerous to me, so yes, I’m sure.”
“I just thought maybe me being a stranger would make you nervous.”
“It’s not people who terrify me,” she found herself saying. “It’s everything outside this house.” She gave him a wry look. “Crazy, isn’t it, since I grew up in this town and all my problems were over in Charleston.”
“What kind of problems, if you don’t mind me asking? Travis said something about domestic violence.”
Raylene hesitated. Her disastrous marriage wasn’t something she liked to talk about to anyone, much less a stranger. If he knew about the abuse, he knew more than enough.
“It’s in the past, and I don’t like to talk about it,” she said. “Now, about that coffee, are you interested?”
“The lemonade sounds better,” he said, then followed her inside.
In the kitchen, she gestured for him to take a seat, then poured two tall glasses of lemonade over ice and handed one to him. She put an assortment of chocolate-chip and oatmeal cookies on a plate and set it on the table, then took a seat herself. Only a trained observer might notice that she sat on the edge of the chair and a safe distance away, rather than relaxing. She had a hunch that Carter noticed.
Calling on her once-instinctive social graces, she said, “Are you new to Serenity? I know you weren’t in school with us, and you seem to be about the same age.”
“I moved here a few months ago when I hired on as a deputy. It seemed like a good place to raise kids.”
His response surprised her. She’d automatically checked for a wedding band and there hadn’t been one. Of course, as she knew all too well from her philandering ex-husband, some men were adept at hiding rings when it suited their purposes. Or he could be divorced or even a widower.
“How many children do you have?” she asked.
“None of my own, but my two younger sisters are living with me. They’re fourteen and almost sixteen. Our parents died a couple of years back. We stuck it out in Columbia for a while, but I liked the idea of a small town. When a job opened up here this spring, I grabbed it. I’m hoping they’ll get in less trouble here than they might have in the city.”
Raylene chuckled, thinking of some of the mischief she, Annie and Sarah had gotten into as teenagers. “Trust me, if girls want to get into trouble, they can do it anywhere.”
He regarded her with an impudent grin. “Do tell. Just what kind of trouble did you get yourself into? If I go into the computer, will I find a dark criminal past?”
“Hardly,” she said, then grinned. “We were far too clever to get caught.”
“Really?”
She thought back over her high school years and chose one of many incidents. “Really. For instance, there was one memorable slumber party when we let boys sneak in,” she confided. “Annie’s mom, Dana Sue Sullivan…” Her voice trailed off.
“The owner of the restaurant,” he guessed.
“Exactly. She about had a fit over that one. Of course, the fact that Annie collapsed that night and wound up in the hospital pretty much trumped whatever trouble we probably would have gotten in over inviting the boys to the party.”
“What happened to Annie?”
She hesitated at talking about Annie’s personal business, but then everyone in town already knew the story. “She had anorexia. It nearly killed her.” She waved off the subject and grinned. “As for the mischief we got ourselves into, I’m sure I could tell a few other stories, if I racked my brain. And most of the teachers at the high school could probably add a dozen or more.”
He looked a little pale as he shook his head. “I’ll definitely keep that slumber party scam in mind when Carrie—she’s the fifteen-year-old—tells me she wants to spend the night with a friend. I had no idea teenage girls were so sneaky.”
“The ones I knew certainly were,” she told him.
He smiled, causing an unexpected bump in her heart rate. Then his expression sobered.
“May I ask you a personal question?” he said.
“Sure.”
“Travis mentioned something about you not being able to leave the house. Is that true?”
She nodded. Whatever embarrassment she’d once felt over her problem had faded as people in town had come to accept that if they wanted to spend time with her, they had to do it here.
“When I first came back to town, I was able to sit on the back patio. I was so relieved to be someplace safe that I didn’t realize at first that leaving here was even an issue.”
“Makes sense,” he said.
“Then, after a couple of months of healing physically and mentally, I tried going out with Sarah and Annie,” she said ruefully. “I never made it past the driveway before I’d break out in a cold sweat. My heart would start racing so fast, I was sure I was going to pass out. After that happened a few times, well, I hate to admit it, but I just stopped trying. Eventually it got so bad, I couldn’t even take a step outside.”
“Why’d you give up?”
The question was simple, but the answer was complicated. Raylene wasn’t sure she could explain it. “I suppose it just seemed easier,” she said eventually. She shrugged. “And there was no place I really needed to be, nothing I really wanted to do.”
Carter looked unconvinced. “You’re content to make this house enough for the rest of your life?” he asked incredulously.
“I suppose I haven’t let myself think long term. Right now, when I consider leaving here, the fear outweighs the joy of whatever might be out there. Forever’s not a concept I can grapple with.”
“What about the yard, at least? Can you go outside that far?”
“You know that I can’t,” she responded, meeting his gaze. “You saw me frozen in place on the top step the other day. If I could have gone farther, believe me, I would have. Knowing Tommy was somewhere out there and I couldn’t look for him was horrible. I’ve never felt so helpless in my life.” She regarded him with curiosity. “Why does this matter to you? Are you that worried about the kids? Because if that’s it, you can stop. I will never have the responsibility for looking after them again.”
“For their sake, I’m relieved to hear that,” he admitted candidly. “But it strikes me as sad that you might not get to experience all that life has to offer. You’re a young, beautiful woman. You’re smart and funny. Seems to me it’s a waste to stay hidden away here.” He frowned. “Don’t you even want to get better?”
“I doubt you can understand this, but getting better, leaving this house, seems to mean more to other people right now than it does to me. I feel safe here. I love being with Sarah’s kids. People come and go all the time, and that’s what matters. I’m not alone or lonely.”
“There must have been things you enjoyed before the panic attacks started,” he protested. “Don’t you miss at least some of them?”
Raylene thought about it. She wondered if maybe this whole cycle of fear and panic hadn’t started even while she’d been married. It wasn’t that her home had been a safe haven. Far from it, in fact. But in it, she had been free of the speculation that would have spread had people in her social circle ever spotted her with the kind of bruises that had been inflicted too many times to count.