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Nadyusha
That October felt strangely desolate – cold in a way that seeped into the bones. Damp air crept through the window frames like an unwelcome guest, and the world outside seemed to be cooling down slowly, shedding its colours until only grey remained.
I was deep into my ninth month. In this freezing city I appeared to be the last surviving pocket of warmth. My body felt enormous, slow, almost absurdly heavy – a tender planet quietly circling the kitchen stove. That old stove, with its soft blue flame and faint hiss of gas, had become my only reliable anchor. I would stand beside it for long minutes, pressing swollen palms to its warm side, letting the heat drift inward.
My belly ached – a dull, constant pull. Little Ksyusha kicked hard, restlessly, as though she had already outgrown the fragile space I could give her. She was cramped. I was afraid.
Soup stood in the refrigerator. A whole chicken waited in the freezer, wrapped in frost. We weren’t starving. No. But every time I opened my wallet something inside me froze. For a whole week now no orders had come in. The wallet had grown noticeably lighter – almost hollow – and that emptiness pressed harder than my own swollen frame.
From the next room Ilyusha’s voice rang out – loud, alive, certain. He was on the phone again. His voice had always been both anchor and sails: steady enough to hold me, yet carrying the promise of wind and open sea. He spoke of expansion, new clients, growth. “We just need to ride out this quiet patch before the real takeoff,” he repeated. I listened from the doorway. I believed. I waited. I wanted so desperately to believe that his faith alone could fill every gap – the silent phone, the empty fridge shelves, the nine coins left in my purse.
Ilyusha
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