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It couldn’t be true. This couldn’t be happening again.
The same sharp-edged fear she’d experienced last time came back with a vengeance. It wasn’t fair. Survivor was supposed to mean that the ordeal was finished, behind you, over. With the cancer in remission for over a year, she was supposed to be making plans and looking forward to the future….
4
“REI, HAVE YOU BEEN crying?” Candace Versa laid a hand on her arm and frowned in concern.
After leaving the courthouse, Rei had driven over to California Pacific Medical Center to meet her breast cancer support group. She didn’t know how she would have endured her last bout with the disease if not for P.J., Dr. Versa and these brave women.
She’d originally planned to come this evening to share her one-year triumph with the women who best understood. Instead, she would cast a specter of gloom over a group that tried their best to hold on to the light. If there were any people on the face of the earth she could share her situation with, it was the women in this hospital conference room.
The educated uncertainty made it worse this time, knowing as she did what was at stake and what would have to be done. Tears pierced the back of her eyes again. But Rei held back, not wanting to confront this new turn of events yet. She didn’t want to put her dread and fears into words and make them real.
So she forced a smile of reassurance onto her lips. “I’m fine, Candy. I just had a bad day at work.”
“Well, you know I’m here if you need to talk.”
“I know. Thanks. I’m okay, though.”
Dr. Versa patted her arm again before Rei slipped past her to take a seat among the others. There was a core unit, including Dr. Versa, a psychologist, as well as with other women who joined and left over time. Rei greeted her old friends and nodded a welcome at the new faces as everyone introduced themselves.
“Hi, Kerry Kensington, two years.” The petite redhead always brightened the meeting whenever she attended.
The quiet brunette next to her was new to the group. “I’m Heather Centrino, and um, it will be six months next week.”
“Alicia Rexam, I’m a three-year survivor.” Despite her silver white hair, she didn’t look old enough to have seven grandchildren.
“I’m Rei Davis and it’s been…one year.”
And so they went around the room. As they were finishing the introductions, the door opened behind her. Rei turned to see who had joined them and gasped softly at the sight of her friend Miriam.
“Sorry I’m late, ladies.” Miriam’s voice was breathy and she slowly made her way to the table.
Rei’s heart broke as she watched her friend gingerly lower herself into the chair. They had been born the same year, but now Miriam looked at least a decade older. There was a tightness around her mouth, as if she were in a great deal of pain, and her skin had a grayish pallor. Her brown eyes were dull and held a shadow of fear even as Miriam looked at her and winked.
Cold certainty crept over Rei. She may or may not be sick again, but there could be no doubt that Miriam was.
“It’s good to see you.” Dr. Versa smiled at her in welcome. “We were just about to share List accomplishments.”
Rei was frankly dreading this part of the meeting. She couldn’t tell them about her sexual encounter with a stranger in a nightclub. She’d have to settle for relaying her exotic fruit experiment, an accomplishment that sounded lame compared to Alicia finishing another quilt for her grandchildren or Kerry learning to ice skate.
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