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Bending her head, she instantly twisted her back to him. “I don’t know, Clancy,” she said in a low, hoarse voice. “Maybe someday you’ll see that I’m not your kind. I never was and never will be.”
“If that’s what you think, then I’m wasting my time here. Goodbye, Olivia. I hope you enjoy your new home in Carson City,” he said bitterly, then turned and hurried out of the house before he could say something he might regret for the rest of his life.
* * *
Throughout the next week, the weather turned bitterly cold and Olivia had to deal with a pile of work both inside and outside of the office. Which was a good thing, she told herself, as she rubbed her tired eyes and tried to focus on the notes in front of her. Trudging through the snow and dealing with paperwork helped to keep her mind off the disastrous evening she’d had with Clancy.
The night he’d stormed out of her house it was as if he’d taken every light with him. Now each time she walked into the living room, she envisioned him sitting there on the couch, his hat in his hands, his hair waved across his forehead.
Seven days had passed since that night and by now she’d expected to have put the whole incident behind her. Instead, her thoughts were being consumed more and more with the man.
If some of those feelings are still there, we need to see where they might take us.
This past week his words had returned again and again until she wanted to scream with frustration. So what if she still felt something for the man, or he for her? Nothing would ever evolve from them. He’d more or less proclaimed that marriage wasn’t on his mind. So what was on his mind? Getting her back in bed?
That question had her mind instantly replaying the kiss they’d shared in his truck and the memory was enough to heat her face. She’d kissed him as though they’d never been apart. She’d kissed him as though she’d never stopped loving him. And then, like an idiot, she’d tried to erect a barrier between them and pretend it had been nothing to her. That he was nothing to her.
Oh, Lord, it was no wonder that he’d left angry. And no wonder that after all these days she was still in a miserable state of mind. If she had any kind of courage at all, she’d drive out to the Silver Horn ranch, face him and try to explain herself. But would that solve anything?
“It’s time for me to head home, Liv. Wes has already gone out the door. Are you staying late this evening?”
Beatrice’s voice interrupted her dismal thoughts and Olivia turned away from her desk to see the secretary standing in the open doorway. The woman had already donned her coat and shoulder bag and covered her hair with a black beret.
“I want to finish a few more notes before I leave,” she told the young woman. “Don’t worry. I’ll lock things up.”
“You’ve had a long day,” Beatrice said. “You ought to finish that tomorrow.”
Olivia smiled at her. “I’ll be finished in a few minutes and then I’ll head on home.”
“Well, drive carefully. I glanced outside earlier and it’s snowing again.”
“I’ll be careful and you do the same.”
With a backward wave, Beatrice disappeared and Olivia went back to typing up the notes she’d scribbled down earlier this morning when she and Wes had visited a section of state park land that was losing an inordinate amount of pines to a spreading parasite.
She was finishing the last paragraph when a knock suddenly sounded on the doorjamb. Startled, she whirled her chair around and stared with shock at the man standing in the dimly lit opening.
“Clancy!”
He stepped into the room and Olivia could see his sheepskin jacket and brown Stetson were dusted with snowflakes, while his cheeks were ruddy from being beaten by the freezing wind.
“I met your secretary as she was leaving,” he explained. “She told me I’d find you here working.”
Her mind whirling with questions, she slowly rose to her feet. “What are you doing here?”
His expression suddenly took on a sheepish quality. “I wanted to apologize to you.”
“I don’t understand,” she said, her voice scarcely above a whisper.
He closed the small distance between them and as his hands closed over the top of her shoulders, Olivia’s heart leaped into a wild gallop.
“Neither do I, Livvy. All week long I’ve thought about everything I said to you. And I realized I behaved badly. I asked you out and then started beating you up emotionally. I’m sorry. Very sorry. And I wanted you to know that.”
Suddenly her throat was so thick all she could manage was to choke out his name. And then before she could ponder or stop herself, she flung her arms around his waist and buried her face in the middle of his chest.
“Oh, Clancy, I’m sorry, too.” Tears flooded her eyes and as they spilled onto her cheeks, she didn’t try to stem them. It felt too good to finally quit hiding her feelings, to finally let him see how much the past had hurt her.
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