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She searched frantically for something casual to say. “I’m a little surprised that you’re content to stay in a large city after spending so many years living here on a ranch.”
“That was more my mother’s choice. She never liked living in the city.”
She tapped his large, silver belt buckle. “You still dress like a country boy, what with that hat, fancy buckle and boots. What is it they say? ‘You can take the boy out of the country, but…’”
“I suppose I’ll always be a country boy at heart, but I don’t think I could ever make ranching my life. I need a challenge that I can come to grips with… not worrying over the price of beef and the uncertainties of the weather.” He motioned for her to get into the car.
She paused, and waved to the two women who were watching them from comfortably reclined lawn chairs.
“Megan, if Travis comes looking for me, tell him I’ll be back in a little while.” With a wink toward him, she added, “Chris is going to take me for a ride in his fancy little car.”
“Are you going to take that from her?” Megan asked without moving. “She doesn’t deserve such courtesy if she’s going to make fun of your trusty steed.”
Chris walked around the car, saying, “The woman has no taste. We all know that, now, don’t we?”
They pulled away amid the laughter of the three women. Ever curious, Maribeth scrutinized the dash, peeked behind the seats at the area that was little more than a shelf, then settled back into the luxurious leather seats with a sigh.
“I should have been watching you closer. How in the world did you manage to get into this thing? With a shoehorn?”
“It’s not so bad once you get used to it.” He pointed to the floor. “At least there’s plenty of legroom once you’re inside.”
She just shook her head. “It’ll never take the place of a full-size pickup truck.” She glanced around her once again. “Why, you could barely haul anything in this dinky li’l ol’ thing.”
Chris tried to stifle his laugh, then gave up, allowing the laughter to ease the tension he was feeling. “Maribeth, you are definitely one of a kind.”
She looked at him in surprise. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Just that. You’re definitely unique.”
“Is there anything wrong with that?”
“Not at all. There are times when I find myself envying your attitude toward life. You’re content with what you have. I’ve never known you to yearn for something someone else has.”
She grinned. “That’s because I already have everything I want.”
After a pause, he said in a more sober voice. “Everything?”
She glanced at him in surprise. “What more could I possibly want? I have my family, and in three days I’m marrying the man I’ve loved most of my life. As the old saying goes—’who could ask for anything more?’ “
“I know you must have had a tough adjustment, coming back to Agua Verde while Bobby took off to follow his dream. That took a lot of courage for you, not objecting to his plans when you expected to get married as soon as we graduated.”
“I was really naive back then, wasn’t I? Just because I was ready to get married didn’t mean that Bobby felt the same way. I guess that’s the biggest difference between men and women. Men want to take longer to find themselves or whatever.” She looked out the window, then back at Chris. “I probably wouldn’t admit this to another soul, but when Bobby first left, I thought I would die from missing him, missing all the fun times the three of us used to have together.”
“I know what you mean. It felt really strange to live in Dallas year-round.”
She looked at him, surprised. “You missed us? I find that hard to imagine. You always seemed to be content with your own company… sort of a loner, you know?”
“Yeah. I know.”
They rode along in silence for a while before Maribeth began to speak, her voice very soft. “For those first few months after he left, I would lie in bed at night, thinking about him being so far away. Wondering if he missed me as much as I missed him. Then I thought about how it would have been if we had gotten married, and he’d gone on the road afterward. Finally I consoled myself with the fact that at least we’d never been—” She paused and cleared her throat. “Uh, we’d never had—been intimate.” Talking faster, she said, “I think that would have made it so much worse, knowing what I was missing while he was away. It was bad enough just imagining what it might have been like to…” After a longer pause, she muttered, “Oh, you know what I’m trying to say.”
Chris turned off the highway they’d been on and followed a little-used road until it ended at the top of bluffs overlooking one of the rivers in the county.
“Why don’t we get out here and enjoy the view while we talk, okay?” He reached behind his seat and grabbed a blanket.
“Sure. Why not?” Maribeth hopped out of the car and looked around. “I haven’t been here in years. We used to come here when we were kids, remember?”
“Oh, yes. I remember everything we ever did together.”
He spread the blanket on the ground and they sat side by side, looking across the Texas hills to the horizon.
Chris waited to see if Maribeth was going to say anything more. When she didn’t, he cleared his throat, then gruffly said, “I know it’s none of my business, but I’d just assumed that you and Bobby had already been intimate. I mean, neither one of you has ever dated anyone else, through high school or college. I just figured that kind of commitment was because—Well, you know what I’m saying. I guess that’s why I’ve been so surprised that he could stay on the road for so long, all the time knowing that you were here, waiting for him.”
He gave her a quick, sideways glance in time to see her face turn as rosy as her hair.
“Um, well, I guess lots of people have assumed that.” She turned so that she was facing him. “I’m not sure that anybody else but you could possibly understand this, Chris—” she began, then stopped.
Chris swallowed. Well, hell. He’d brought up the subject, hadn’t he? And it looked as though she was going to unburden herself. He just wasn’t certain he was ready to hear all that she was going to say.
He was still reeling from the sudden knowledge that she had never made love to his childhood buddy. That news went a long way toward helping him forgive Bobby for his thoughtless behavior.
She leaned back on her elbows, still looking off into the distance. “You remember how it was when we were growing up. Bobby and I never really paired off. We were always with the group, or at least with you.”
Chris thought about that before drawling, “You never seemed to mind.”
Her eyes quickly met his and she shifted, as though slightly restless. “Oh, I wasn’t trying to imply that you were in the way. It was just the way things were for us. You remember.”
He nodded, allowing himself to relax a little.
“It seems strange talking to anyone about it. I mean, really, there’s nobody that I could have talked to about it, even back then. Maybe there was something a little weird about us. I know of other couples in high school who were quite open about their relationships, and there were several. But Bobby and me—I don’t know. We just didn’t fool around. Of course we did our share of parking and necking, but for me at least, I was a little afraid of the whole idea of it. I mean, who could I talk to about it, anyway? Can you imagine what Megan would have said or done if I’d asked her any questions about it? Besides, Travis and Deke would have used Bobby for coyote bait if they’d thought he was fooling around with me when we were in school! Just the thought of accidentally getting pregnant would freeze my blood. There was no way I could have faced Megan with that kind of news.”
She gave him a quick glance from beneath her lashes and chuckled. “I guess I was lucky that Bobby never really pushed the limits I set. I’m not sure why, exactly. We never really talked about it.” She sat cross-legged, her elbows resting on her knees.
“Looking back to that time, what I remember was how much fun we had together, the whole group of us. Remember how it was? We were always going places, doing things, having fun with the gang.” She seemed to be thinking out loud, as she said, “Growing up the way we did on a ranch, it wasn’t as if we didn’t know what’s supposed to happen and all, but still—Knowing about it isn’t the same as actually doing it, is it?”
Her face glowed with embarrassment but she kept her gaze steady as she faced him.
“I think you were very wise, myself,” he said with a great deal of sincerity.
Maribeth felt a wave of an unidentified emotion sweep over her at his words, as though she’d been seeking his approval, which was ridiculous. What was the matter with her today, anyway? Although Chris had been a part of her life for years, she’d never been so open with him before. Hoping to turn the tables, she suddenly demanded, “What about you?”
“Me!” He almost strangled spitting the word out. “What about me?”
Good. She’d managed to get past his guard that time. “You know exactly what I’m talking about. If I’m going to be confessing all about my nonexistent sex life on the eve of my wedding, I figure you owe me a tale or two in return, just so I won’t feel alone.”
He eyed her warily. “Such as?”
“Such as filling me in on some of your activities while we were at A & M. I remember you dated several classmates during that time.”
He cleared his throat and then smiled. It was the sexiest, most seductive smile Maribeth had ever witnessed. Her heart began to pound in her chest. Darn, but this man had a lethal charm that she was much too inexperienced to know how to handle. “My mama always told me that a gentleman keeps his mouth shut,” he finally drawled.
She fought to control her responses. Working to sound as unaffected as she knew how, Maribeth murmured, “Mmm-hmm. And you’re always a gentleman, right?”
“I try my damnedest, ma’am. I most sincerely do.”
They laughed together, effectively breaking the tension that had suddenly sprung up between them.
Maribeth impulsively reached over and touched his hand, then jerked back as though she’d accidentally touched a hot coal. “I’m glad you came to see me today. I’ve missed having you as part of my life.”
He deliberately took her hand and held it firmly in his. “I’ve missed you, too.”
The tension immediately surrounded them once again.
Maribeth nervously began to talk. “You know, being the youngest sister hasn’t always been the easiest thing for me, especially as I’ve gotten older. Do you realize that both Megan and Mollie were married and had children by the time they reached my age?”
Her palm was tingling where it was pressed against his. She looked down at his darkly tanned hand. It was strong, engulfing hers. She forced herself to look into his dark eyes. There was a warmth there that made her feel accepted.
Impulsively she asked, “Have you ever wanted a brother or sister in your life, Chris?”
She could almost see his withdrawal although his body hadn’t moved in the slightest. “Not really. Being an only child was complicated enough, given my family history. Although, looking back, it might have been nice to have someone else there.”
“As much as I fuss about Megan always playing mother-hen with me, I’m really grateful to have her in my life. Mollie, too. It’s strange to think about it. Mollie’s only two years older than me, and she’s already been married eight years and has three children. Wow. It’s hard to realize time has gone by so quickly.”
“She seems happy enough.”
“Oh, yeah. Deke’s obviously crazy about her and it’s easy to see how she feels about him.” For a moment she was caught up in her memories. “I wouldn’t have dreamed when I watched them get married that I would still be single so many years later.”
Chris watched her through his lashes. Damn, but it was good to see her, to be with her again! He’d pushed his feelings for her away for so long that he’d almost convinced himself that they were no longer there… or real. This time with her had quickly disabused him of that notion.
They’d been out there on the bluffs for almost an hour and he still hadn’t told her what he needed to tell her. Dear God, but he hated this.
She was staring out over the river to the surrounding hills, looking relaxed enough. He still held her hand in his. She might look relaxed, but there was a slight tremor in her fingers.
“Maribeth?”
She slowly turned her head toward him. “Hmm?”
“Bobby called me last night.” His voice sounded harsh to his ears.
He felt her hand stiffen in his. She tugged, silently requesting release, which he reluctantly gave her.
She watched him warily, and he knew that on some level she had been expecting something like this. Regardless, it didn’t make his job any easier.
“He was in Las Vegas.”
She had been bracing herself for something, even though she wasn’t certain what it was. All kinds of thoughts had dashed around in her head. He was hurt. He was going to postpone the wedding, he was—What? Why would he have called Chris and not her? Why—?
“Las Vegas? What in the world is he doing there? He said he’d be in Oklahoma this week and would be through there by tomorrow.”
“He asked me to come down here to see you.”
She fought to hang on to her composure. “Why? What is it, Chris? Just tell me.”
He reached for her hands, already feeling the coldness that had washed through her. “He wanted me here because he didn’t want you to be alone when you heard his news.”
“What?” she whispered.
“Bobby got married last night.”
Two
She stared at him blankly for a long moment without blinking. When the silence seemed as if it would stretch into infinity she silently mouthed the word “married?” as though it was a foreign word she’d never heard.
Chris waited, knowing there was nothing else he could say. There was no way to make this easy for her. He could almost see the pain as it seemed to inch its way into her consciousness.
As though finally remembering to breathe, she took a quick breath, then released it. Another moment passed, another gasp of air followed, as though she had to remind herself of her lungs’ continual need for lifesustaining oxygen.
“I don’t understand,” she finally said. Her mouth quivered, then was still. As though searching for words that might make some sense to her, she asked, “Why would Bobby call you and say such a thing? Bobby would never…”
What little breath she had, suddenly deserted her. She paused, her hand pressed against her throat, her eyes mutely pleading for him to tell her that this was all a joke.
Chris could feel her pain just as surely as if it was his. In many ways, it was. He would have done anything in his power not to hurt this woman.
“Chris, surely he was teasing. Surely he didn’t really mean that he—” Her breath was coming in short pants, as though she’d been running hard.
“He said that a bunch of the group had been out celebrating, partying. He admitted that he didn’t remember too much about the night. Vegas was mentioned, it was like a joke or something. He couldn’t fill in details and I didn’t ask for any. When he woke up the next day he realized what he had done. He knew he had to let you know. He found that he couldn’t call you and just tell you like that. So he called me, instead.”
She looked at Chris with dawning awareness. “All this time you’ve been here…we’ve been talking about the past, and the wedding…” Her voice trailed off. She spoke as if to herself. “I was even discussing my sex life with you, for Pete’s sake.” Her eyes suddenly filled with tears and Chris felt as though he’d been punched in the gut. “All this time you knew that Bobby had—That Bobby-”
Suddenly she jerked away from him, jumping to her feet. “I don’t believe you,” she said in a hoarse voice, her back to him. “Why, the whole idea is absurd. The invitations have all gone out, everything’s been planned for months… for years! Bobby wouldn’t suddenly do something so—” Her voice broke. Without looking at him, she walked back to the car. In a low voice, she said, “I’d like to go home now.”
Chris reluctantly followed her. “I don’t think that’s a good idea right at the moment, do you?” he asked reasonably. “That’s why I brought you out here. So you could have some time alone, to get used to the idea.”
The look she gave him was chilling. “Get used to the idea? How, exactly, do you propose I do that? Am I supposed to calmly dismiss and forget the past fifteen years of my life?”
“No. Of course not. Damn it, Maribeth. I know I didn’t do this right, but how the hell do you tell a person something like this? You had to know. He sure as hell left it a little late to pull a stunt like this, then leave it for me to tell you. I came as soon as I could.”
“Fine.” Once again she turned away, this time opening the door to the car and getting inside. “You’ve told me. Thank you very much. Now I’d like to go home.”
She’d left the door open. Chris took advantage of that by hunkering down beside her. Taking her hand, he said, “Don’t shut me out, honey, okay? I know you’re hurt by this. But I’m here for you. You’ve got me. Does that help?”
Gentleness from this particular man was more than she could handle. The tears she’d desperately been fighting to contain finally spilled over and rolled down her cheeks. She could do nothing to stop them.
Awkwardly he pulled her into his arms. The sudden reminder of his after-shave teased her senses, whisking her away to a younger, more innocent time.
“I don’t want to cry,” she said fiercely into his shoulder, ineffectually wiping her eyes.
“You’re entitled,” he murmured. He fumbled in his back pocket and brought out a crisp, neatly folded handkerchief, silently offering it to her.
She straightened, taking the handkerchief and energetically wiping her eyes and cheeks. “How could he do something like this?” Her voice broke and she jammed her fist against her mouth to muffle a sob. She waited until she could gain some control before saying, “It’s like a nightmare, a scary dream brought on by prewedding jitters. It’s like some kind of a test. What would you do if you planned a wedding and your fiancé didn’t show up? It’s a giant, cosmic joke. Isn’t the bride being left at the altar a cliché?”
“Look, why don’t we go back over there and sit for a while? I know I’d be more comfortable,” he added lightly, glancing down at his awkward position beside the small car. “Maybe we can work out some kind of plan.”
Maribeth glanced at Chris and tried to smile. She wasn’t certain how successful her attempt was, but she reminded herself that she had to stop thinking of herself for a moment. Bobby had put both her and Chris into a horrible situation here. Why should she take her feelings out on Chris? He was only trying to help.
With a nod, she moved her legs to get out of the car. Chris immediately stood and offered her his hand. When she was standing beside him, he put his arms around her.
“I know you’re hurt, but you and I both know that Bobby has never been a role model for responsibility. In a way, this is very typical of the kid I used to know. I had just assumed he’d grown up some…until that phone call last night.”
Maribeth was furious that she couldn’t stop crying. The tears slid down her cheeks quicker than she could wipe them away. This was so stupid, getting upset this way. It certainly didn’t solve anything.
She leaned against Chris, grateful for his warmth and for his understanding.
He turned and with one arm still around her shoulders, guided her back to the blanket. He helped her to sit, then lowered himself beside her.
They sat there in silence. Maribeth lost track of the time. So many thoughts raced through her mind, none of them making much sense. Chris was no longer touching her, but she knew he was there.
Eventually she asked, “Did he say who it was?”
For a moment, she thought he wasn’t going to answer. When he did, his voice was low. “No. I didn’t ask. That wasn’t the purpose of his call.”
“I suppose.” After another lengthy pause, she said, “It’s probably somebody who follows the circuit. She’s probably been there for him whenever he needed consoling or cheering. She’s probably—”
“Don’t, honey. Don’t start to imagine stuff that you have no way of knowing if it’s true or not. Trying to second-guess the situation doesn’t do any good. It will only make you feel worse.”
Her attempt at a laugh was a dismal failure. “Feel worse? Surely you’re kidding.”
Silence fell between them once more.
Eventually Chris said, “I know you don’t believe this right at the moment, but I know that things are going to be okay for you eventually. It isn’t the end of the world, even though it may feel like it. Someday, you’ll be able to look back at all of this and see how God’s plans for us aren’t necessarily what we had in mind at the time. Maybe He has other plans we aren’t aware of at the moment. Just give yourself some time to deal with what’s happened, and I think you’ll do fine.”
There was nothing more he could think of to say. So he sat there beside her, staring out over the hills, and waited for her to deal with the news in her own way. He knew she was crying, but she never made a sound, other than her uneven breathing and an occasional sniff. She was handling it as well as anyone could. He’d never been more proud of her.
And now she’s free, a small voice in his head reminded him.
So what?
So now’s your chance.
Oh, sure.
Think about it. Maybe something can be salvaged from this mess Bobby has created. Just think about it.
The sun sank lower in the west, tinting the sky with wisps of pastel colors. He’d forgotten how beautiful the Texas hill country was. The gentle breeze cooled them, wafting the scent of cedar across the hills.
He had no idea how long they had been sitting in silence when she finally spoke once again.
“He was right.”
“About what?”
“Not telling me over the phone.”
“Yes. At least he did something right.”
She sighed, her breath still catching. “I’m glad you were here, Chris.” She gave him a quick glance before looking away. “It would have been even tougher if I’d been at home, with the family, trying to explain.” She sighed. “I just feel overwhelmed at the moment. I don’t know where to start.”
Her voice sounded stronger. She was more in control of her emotions. He took the chance of resting his hand on her back. When she leaned into him slightly, he began to massage the area between her shoulder blades.
“Start what?”
“Telling everybody the wedding is canceled.” The tears that had dried up earlier suddenly reappeared. She impatiently wiped them away, then blew her nose on the handkerchief. “I feel like such a dope, patiently waiting for years for him to return home to marry me when all this time he—He’s been—”
There was no reason for her to finish that particular line of thought.
“You know what?” he said, making the effort to sound brisk and matter-of-fact. “What you really need to do is to get away from here for a while. Why don’t you come back to Dallas with me? I’ve got a big place with plenty of room. It would give you a chance to distance yourself from the situation until you can come to terms with what’s happened.”
His suggestion brought a quiver to her lips, as though she was attempting to smile. “You’ve got to be kidding, Chris.” Yes. Definitely a watery smile. “I’d never hear the end of it from my family if I went off somewhere with you.”
“We could get around that.”
Her expression when she cut her eyes around to look at him clearly showed her doubt.
“I have a suggestion that might solve some of this for you.”
“What? Put a notice in the paper? I already thought of that, but it’s too late. The weekly paper will be out in the morning.”