Texting Under the Influence

I Know You Want Me...

One last hookup. At least that’s what graphic designer Jenna Cho has in mind when she texts her toxic-in-life but amazing-in-bed ex, Jax. When her gorgeous boss Jack responds to the booty call instead, Jenna learns exactly why a girl should never hit send after one too many vodka sodas. Still, faced with Jack’s sexy grin and even sexier Irish accent, Jenna thinks maybe she messaged the right man after all—especially when he admits he’s been hoping she’d make the first move...

Dedication

For GB

Texting Under

the Influence

Cara Lockwood

Contemporary, sexy stories for sassy women

Cosmo Red-Hot Reads from Mills & Boon

www.millsandboon.co.uk/cosmo

Contents

Cover

Back Cover Text

Dedication

Title Page

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

About the Author

Copyright

Chapter One

“Here’s to being single—again.” Jenna Cho raised her vodka soda and clinked it against her best friend’s beer bottle at the Wrigleyville bar on the north side of Chicago. Despite the sparse Tuesday night scene, music still blared over the speakers, as if trying to make up for the thin crowd. The loud thump of bass made it hard to converse but that was fine by Jenna. The last thing she felt like doing was talking about how she and Jax had broken up again. That made three times. Maybe this time was the charm, but she doubted it. Jax was like crack: the more she tried to quit him, the worse the withdrawal.

“You’re better off without that asshole,” Maddie yelled over the music, taking a big swig of her beer. Maddie hated Jax, which Jenna understood because sometimes Jenna hated him, too. Like two days ago when she’d found him trolling for hookups on Tinder (reason for breakup number three). “I mean it. He takes you for granted. He’s totally self-centered. He’s toxic, J. Toxic!”

Usually, when Jenna broke up with Jax, her friend’s bitter ravings about her ex made her feel better. But tonight, Maddie’s endless bashing of Jax just made Jenna feel...depressed. She really felt her whole life was on a vicious loop that ended here every three months: Jenna complaining that Jax had slept around, again, swearing she’d never take him back, only to do so a few weeks or months later, repeating the whole cycle again.

Two guys tumbled through the revolving door, bringing with them a blast of late-fall Chicago air. In the summer, their Wrigleyville neighborhood teemed with Cubs fans and late-night parties almost every day of the week, the home of drunken karaoke and the occasional bar fight. But the Cubs finished their season more than a month ago, and now Clark Street felt like frat row during winter break. The two guys, decent enough looking, eyed Maddie and Jenna as they slid into empty seats down the bar.

Jenna couldn’t believe she looked anything other than a mess: runny eye makeup bleeding into the creases of her almond-shaped lids, her dark, nearly black hair up in a hasty ponytail. She wore the same outfit she’d had on at work: skinny black wool leggings tucked into her brand-new kid leather stiletto boots, and her once crisp oxford, that looked wilted, carried a faint stain on the pocket from lunch. Maddie was impeccable as usual, blond hair in long, flowing layers, that somehow always made her look like she was Venus in that famous Botticelli painting, standing in a giant shell. They’d been friends since kindergarten, growing up in the northern ‘burbs together. Jenna used to be jealous of her pretty friend, but she’d found that they hardly ever attracted the same kind of guys, and besides, Maddie was off the market.

Jenna had been, too. Until today.

Damn Jax.

Jenna knew Maddie was right about him, had been right from the start, but it didn’t change the fact that Jenna couldn’t quite fully understand how someone so amazingly delicious in bed was toxic everywhere else in her life.

And winter was coming. She thought of all the happy couples out there who’d paired up, ready to hibernate on their couches all winter, to fuck their way to spring. Jax was supposed to be her hibernation buddy. Of course, he was more than that and Jenna knew it. Jax, who’d played two years of pro football, possessed a still ridiculous CrossFit body. Adding that to the sensual intensity that he carried with him all the time made him... well, crack. He was crack. Even though he’d had no real ambition besides serving up drinks at the local bar, well, it didn’t matter. He was still crack.

She thought about the barely even apologetic look on his face when she caught him setting up that Tinder meet. Don’t pretend you didn’t see this coming. You know me, J.

That was the worst part. She did know Jax. Better than anyone. She knew he couldn’t be faithful. He said it was a man’s biological imperative to need new conquests. He didn’t even bother to pretend. She used to tell herself she appreciated the honesty. That all guys felt that way, but at least Jax was honest about it. She knew he wouldn’t be with just one woman, and most of the time, she could convince herself she was fine with that. That it was just light and fun, and who cared? She didn’t want to marry Jax.

And, yet... it still hurt. She had to admit that.

“What you need to do is get off this Jax phase,” Maddie declared, clinking her beer bottle hard on the worn lacquer of the bar.

“Can you really call a year a phase?” The minute the words were out of her mouth when it hit her. She’d met Jax a year ago. She’d been hopping in and out of his bed, in and out of so-called relationships with him for all that time. That was either proof they ought to be together, or clear evidence she needed to find someone else. She didn’t know if Jax was her soul mate, or if he was her worst nightmare. Sometimes, it was hard to tell the difference.

“You’re as much to blame as Jax is. You keep going back for more.”

Jenna hated it when Maddie was so right.

“I know.” Did she ever. And she knew what she came back for. The man might not be monogamy material, but he made it his single-minded goal in life to make sure she came again and again, all night long. The thought of him and that little trick he did with his fingers, made her want to call off the breakup, end this bitch session with Maddie and head straight to his apartment. She took another swig of her fourth-round drink and realized it was half-gone.

Uh-oh. Not a good sign. She glanced up at the big-screen TV above the bar, which flashed a commercial of some hunky Taye Diggs-look-alike model shaving. That guy and his six-pack has nothing on Jax, she thought, even if Jax didn’t have the same handsome face. He’d had his nose broken twice on the football field, but the crooked bridge of his nose just added to his charm. Instantly, she hated her rebellious thoughts. She was supposed to be angry at him. He was toxic. Angrily, she turned her head from the not-as-cute-as-Jax model.

I wonder what Jax is doing right now? Is he with that Tinder girl? She felt jealousy lick up her spine.

“I’m addicted. I can admit it,” Jenna said.

“Admitting you have a problem is the first step toward recovery,” Maddie quipped, flipping her long blond hair off one shoulder. “The second step is to admit that you want more than to play around.”

“I’m not ready to settle down,” Jenna declared, eyeing the sparkling diamond Maddie wore on her finger with some measure of mistrust. Granted, Maddie’s fiancé was amazing in every way: cute, thoughtful, good at hauling and putting together Ikea furniture. There were perks to being engaged, but Jenna couldn’t imagine taking that step yet. She’d not met anyone, including Jax, she’d want to spend the rest of her life with. She’d grown up with parents who never stopped arguing, and in her mind, marriage equaled an endless merry-go-round of fights and a slow, bitter backslide to divorce.

“You don’t have to get married, Jenna. But how about you admit that you want a relationship. Stop pretending that you and Jax want the same things.”

“But Jax is fun, and fun is no pressure.” Jenna didn’t do well with pressure. She’d run screaming from her college boyfriend when he’d hinted around that he wanted to get engaged. That was three years ago, and now she’d just turned twenty-six. She had plenty of time to worry about all of that.

Maddie took a swig of her drink and shook her head. “Jax is not fun when he’s cheating on you.” Maddie had a point there. That part wasn’t very fun at all.

“Yeah, but... can you call it cheating if we never really agreed to being exclusive?”

“Are you sleeping with anyone else?”

“No.”

“Does it hurt you when he does?” Maddie asked.

Jenna nodded.

“And, does he know this hurts you?”

“Yeah.”

“Then, it’s both your faults. But, still. One of you needs to end it for good. It’s not healthy. You’re not getting what you need.”

“Okay, maybe you’re right.”

“I am right,” Maddie said with confidence. “So, the next step is finding someone new.” She rolled the beer bottle around in her hand, studying it, as if Jenna’s new rebound would be found there.

“What about Jack?”

“Jack?” Jenna’s thoughts reluctantly left Jax as she focused on her friend. “Jack? My boss Jack?” Suddenly, Jenna felt sober. Jack was her gorgeous young director who’d only recently moved here from Ireland. “You know I can’t. Company policy.”

“At this point, I don’t care. Jack is hot. He’s nice. He’s got that killer accent. And anyone is better than Jax.”

Maddie didn’t lie. Jack, with the gravelly brogue, piercing blue eyes and the always-there stubble caught the eye of every woman and some of the men at Jenna’s ad agency. Jenna had noticed. Who wouldn’t? Those broad shoulders and flat stomach were meant for the cover of a romance novel. But he was the boss and he was off-limits. Period.

Besides, pretty boys like Jack never went for Jenna. She always got the rough-around-the-edges types. Like Jax. She didn’t know why, but this was a cardinal rule of her dating universe. It had been since high school. Pretty boys went for Maddie. Rough ones, for Jenna. Maybe they could all sense that Goth period she went through in high school. Whatever the reason, she’d given up on pursuing guys who looked like Jack.

“I’d rather you get fired than get back with Jax.” Maddie stared at Jenna until she blinked and looked away. Maddie let out a frustrated sigh. “Fine. How about them?” Maddie nodded toward the guys down the bar. One of them caught Jenna’s eye and raised his beer mug, sloshing it out of the side.

“They’re drunk.” Jenna took a final swig of her drink and realized it was all gone. She glared with one eye at the remaining ice cubes, wondering where all her vodka had gone.

“So are you.” Maddie gave her friend a shove, nearly knocking her off the bar stool to prove her point.

“I’m fine. I’m going to the bathroom,” Jenna declared, slipping off her bar stool. The room took a little spin as she stood on wobbly legs, realizing for the first time how drunk she was. She managed to steady herself and walk an almost-straight line to the bathroom. The guys at the bar eyed her as she went, the want on their faces obvious as they watched her wobble by in her knee-high boots. Jenna worked hard to stay in shape, and she had her parents’ amazing Korean genes. She knew she turned heads at the bar even when she wasn’t even trying. Jax, after all, didn’t spend time with uglies, as he called girls not to his standards.

God, what a jerk, she thought, in a more sobering moment. Jax really was an asshole. Still, didn’t part of her like that she met his standards? Laughed when he made fun of ugly girls? Terrible. Truly terrible.

One of the guys at the bar nodded at her as she went past.

Not my type, she thought. Average, if anything, and sloppy drunk. One of the guys had a nacho stain down the front of his shirt and the beginnings of a soft beer belly. Nothing like Jax. There wasn’t anything soft about Jax. At thoughts of him, her body instantly responded, her belly growing warm. Damn, Jax! Once in the bathroom, her phone pinged an incoming text. She realized it was her work phone.

They had a big client’s campaign launching this week, and everyone on her team was pretty much “on call” for possible problems. Jenna, the graphic designer, might be called on to log in at ten, fix a graphic or make a last-minute change. She shouldn’t even be out drinking. She’d told herself she’d just have one drink—two at most—but her willpower dissolved somewhere around the end of the second round, probably because the more she talked about Jax, the more she wanted to drink.

She hoped the text wasn’t work-related.

But when she glanced at the face of the phone, she saw it wasn’t work texting at all.

Jax’s name lit up the face of the phone, along with his two messages. Jenna hurried into the nearest stall, her heart racing, as if she worried Maddie would burst in any second and catch her reading them.

Baby, I’m sorry.

I miss u.

Jenna blinked and looked away from her phone. He had some nerve texting her work phone. She’d told him dozens of times not to do it, that she might get in trouble, but Jax wasn’t the type to care about company rules—or any rules, for that matter.

Still, seeing Jax’s name on her phone made her heart soar, which her brain knew was all wrong. She shouldn’t feel glad he texted. She should ignore him. She deleted all the texts in a fit of rage.

Then, she wished she hadn’t.

Did he really miss her?

God, why do you care?! That vicious voice of reason screamed in her head. Of course he misses you; his Tinder hookup must’ve fallen through!

Jenna started typing a text message. She’d tell him. But, she’d tell him to his face! She’d stormed out of his apartment yesterday and hadn’t been back since. She had a whole lot to tell him.

We need 2 talk.

She hit Send and waited. She swayed on her feet. Then, a Sam Smith song, one that Jax had sung to her as he undressed her just last weekend, piped in over the bathroom speakers. She remembered her zipper in his teeth as he tried to sing, and felt shivers down her spine. The alcohol made her feel fuzzy and adrift: why was she so mad at Jax? What she wanted was to get naked with him. Drunk, it sounded fine. One more hookup. What could it hurt? Like a farewell tour? Maybe that’s what she needed to get him out of her system for good. Just one more sleepover.

She knew she was in a bad place—one minute, she wanted to shout at Jax and the next, she wanted to strip. Jenna needed to get her emotions straight.

One more hookup. Maybe that’s what she needed.

She couldn’t tell Maddie, or she’d talk her out of it. She’d never have to know!

I know you want me. You should want me. I’m the best you’ll ever have.

She sent the text and giggled. She slipped into the role of sex pop star goddess easily: it was something she and Jax did.

She waited, staring at her screen, which seemed to be a wiggly, blurry mess. Why was her phone so blurry? Oh, right. I’m drunk. She wanted to giggle, but instead, she put out a hand against the stall door to steady herself. She blinked once more to focus and found a message popped up in answer:

When? Where?

Good. Jax was playing along.

My place. Tonight.

* * *

Jack Kearney had never done anything so crazy before. Met a girl at nearly midnight on a Tuesday? And not just any lass, one who worked for him.

Jenna Cho.

He’d never in a million years expected her to text him, but here she had. I know you want me. You should want me. I’m the best you’ll ever have.

There wasn’t anything hotter than a confident girl who knew exactly what she wanted. Jack was hooked the second the text came in.

Jack locked the back door of his sleek town home in Old Town, as he trotted out the small yard and to his waiting parking space in the back alley, wishing he could teleport himself over to Jenna’s place and not even bother with the car. Jack was used to female attention. His wicked smile and lean, athletic physique had gotten him more than kisses in alleyways and bars across Dublin, where he’d grown up—a streak that had continued when he’d jumped the pond to Chicago two years ago. He’d been propositioned before, but never in the middle of the night. Even at Hue, he’d had to politely turn down advances from nearly every department. He never used to mix business and pleasure, but Jenna was different.

My place. Tonight.

The thought sent a thrill through him. He hated that he was so excited about the prospect. He should’ve ignored the texts. She’d been drinking. It was probably a mistake, and yet... he had to know for sure.

Jack had been drawn to Jenna the minute they’d met. He had a string of blonde and red-headed freckled beauties back in Ireland he’d loved and left, but Jenna was different. It wasn’t just that she was dark-haired and gorgeous. She always seemed so out-of-reach, so completely immune to his charms. He’d tried, against all his better judgment, and yet, she remained completely and totally aloof, maddeningly professional.

And then, out of the clear blue, this.

“Yer gonna lose yer job,” he muttered to himself, shaking his head at his own foolishness, as he opened the garage door, revealing his sleek, freshly washed BMW. Not that he was particularly married to this job or even really planned to keep it much longer, he reminded himself. Still, he should’ve ignored that text. It wasn’t like he was going to take advantage of a drunk lass. One who could get ye fired, or sued, or worse! His ma had raised him better than that. Old Mrs. Kearney would not approve, and she’d berate him to no end. And if she didn’t, one of his four sisters would have something to say about it. Growing up the only boy in a houseful of women taught him a few things about respecting ladies. But, he had to know. Did she secretly feel the same way about him? He’d been soft on her for months. She’d gotten under his skin like a bad rash.

“Yer bein’ an arse,” he mumbled to himself, but that still didn’t stop him from sliding into the front seat of his Beamer and starting the engine. And if he ran over there and slept with her? Then what? Most American girls he’d met weren’t ready for a relationship. Sure, they’d muck about for a while, but when it came to serious talks about exclusivity, they’d all go pale and start blubbering about not being ready to settle down. Somewhere, between Ireland and here, the roles had been all switched around. He didn’t quite understand it.

In Ireland, he’d been an unapologetic serial monogamist. He craved a relationship with one woman at a time. His sister Maeve told him he fell in love too easily. But, he thought women were supposed to want that. Not the ones he’d met so far. He didn’t know if it was just his rotten luck, or if women were different in America, but it seemed all they were into was partying and shagging anything that moved. The last time he fell for a girl, she’d been dating two other guys at the same time. He should’ve learned his lesson then, but now here he was again, falling for a girl before he even knew her.

Did she just want a shag like the rest of them? Or was she fishing for more? He wanted a real connection. Did she?

Part of him told him he’d just be disappointed, but the part of him that lived below his waist didn’t care at the moment. The thought that her hard veneer had finally cracked drove him wild.

He backed his car out of the garage space and steered it toward Jenna’s condo in Wrigleyville.

The fact that he’d memorized her address after only dropping her off once after a photo shoot a few months ago should’ve raised more warning bells in his head, but didn’t. Just hear the lass out, and figure out if she feels the same way about me, he thought. Nothing more.

Chapter Two

Back at her condo, Jenna quickly stuffed her dirty clothes into her closet, kicking errant socks under her bed. Jax had a thing about bedrooms: they had to be clean. He felt nothing should get in the way of setting the mood, and he was right about that. He was an artist in the bedroom, and wanted to work every angle of the canvas. A dirty bra on the headboard or a sweatshirt on the floor might mess with his rhythm, and Jenna had no intention of doing that. If this was going to be the last time she’d ever fuck him, she wanted it to be perfect. Quickly, she lit those vanilla candles he liked so much, and shut off the lights.

Maddie had been the hardest to get rid of—she’d almost insisted on sleeping over. “I don’t want to leave you alone,” she had said. “What if he tries to hit you up for a booty call?”

“He won’t,” Jenna had lied, since he already had. And she’d accepted. She felt bad about that, and about shuffling Maddie out her door with some mumbled excuse about having an early workday tomorrow. She knew by the sour look on Maddie’s face, her friend didn’t buy it, but Maddie had let it slide, so there was that. Now, she just had to focus on what was coming and how she planned to be naked with Jax in less than an hour.

Already, she’d found the lingerie that drove him wild: push-up bra, transparent black thong, the silky black robe he’d gotten her for her birthday last year. He’d had her try it on—sans anything underneath when she opened it, and that had led to a six-hour, multi-orgasm, marathon lovemaking session, which she still sometimes daydreamed about. She hoped he remembered that when she opened the door.

What am I doing? she thought suddenly, remembering that the day after that lovemaking marathon she’d gone in for her annual OB/GYN appointment and discovered she had HPV, which could only have come from Jax. She’d done the math and realized that he’d given it to her sometime during one of their so-called monogamous phases, which meant he’d picked it up from playing around on the side. When she’d confronted him, and asked him if he’d been sleeping around, he’d said yes. When she asked him if he used any protection, he’d said sometimes.

Sometimes! That had led to a panicked call to the doctor’s office once more, where she had tests for the whole spectrum of STDs run. She’d come up negative for any more, but that had led to their second breakup.

Jenna shook her head, the vodka making her thoughts all jumbled. She’d had a lot to drink and hardly anything to eat, and she swayed unsteadily on her heels as she tried to gather her thoughts.

She couldn’t believe she’d let him back into her life and her bed. She knew how it sounded to Maddie, and everyone else in her life, but the fact was, nobody wanted her like Jax. His hands... his mouth. He knew every one of her weak spots. He exploited every one. And if that didn’t work, he made her come so hard she cried uncle.