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Though they aren’t likely to ever read this, I dedicate this book to my dogs Spunky, Rocko and Combat, and my cats PeeWee and Bubba. They love me unconditionally, keep me company when I’m lonely and always make me smile.
Contents
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Coming Next Month
One
In her twenty-four years, Tess McDonald had made her share of bad judgment calls, but this one topped them all. All of her life she’d been determined not to turn out like her mother, but here she was, making the same stupid mistakes. Maybe it was destiny.
Or just dumb luck.
She stared up at the sprawling structure of marble and granite. Dark and foreboding under overcast, gloomy skies, it loomed before her like a castle out of a modern-day fairy tale. An enchanted castle where nothing was as it seemed and monsters lay in wait, ready to devour unsuspecting maidens. And what fairy tale would be complete without an embittered, cagey prince? A loner afflicted by some disfiguring curse, set free only by love in its purest form.
But Tess had abandoned the mystical for the practical a long time ago. Fairy tales weren’t real. There were no princes—cursed or otherwise—no enchanted castles and the only monster she knew was still living with her mother back in Utah.
She climbed the wide marble steps to the front door, and lifted a reluctant hand—come on Tess, just do it—and forced herself to press the bell. The hollow ring penetrated the massive, intricately carved double doors, kicking her heart into a frantic beat. Seconds ticked by as she waited for someone to answer. Seconds that felt like hours. When she’d almost convinced herself no one was home, the door opened.
She’d expected a maid or a butler, one in full uniform of course—possibly looking like Lurch from the Addams Family. Instead it was Ben, looking much like he had when they’d met.
Mysteriously and intriguingly dark.
His raven hair lay at his collar in silky waves and heavy lidded bedroom eyes in the darkest, richest shade of brown, studied her. Everything about him reeked of prestige and wealth, from the expensive looking black cashmere sweater and custom tailored slacks, to the tantalizing scent of his cologne.
She felt the same shiver of excitement as she had when she’d caught him staring at her from across the bar that night. Their eyes had met, and the heat penetrating in the dark, bottomless depths made her heart go berserk with anticipation.
The way it was now.
He hadn’t said a word. He’d just held out his hand in silent invitation and she’d taken it. He’d led her to the dance floor and when he pulled her into his arms, pressed her to the lean length of his body, she melted against him. Then he’d dipped his head and brushed his lips over hers.
Now, there were kisses, and there were kisses.
Kissing Ben had felt like two pieces of a puzzle locking together in a perfect fit. Her knees had gone weak, and the room had spun around her like a carousel. She knew in that instant that she would sleep with him. It wasn’t even a conscious decision. It was just something she had to do. An opportunity she would regret for the rest of her life if she let it pass.
She also knew that he was just interested in one night. The, I’m-not-looking-for-a-relationship line he fed her between kisses in the elevator on the way up to his room had been a big tip-off. She’d never expected to see him again.
Considering the look on his face now, neither had he.
She knew she should say something, but she couldn’t seem to make her mouth work. All she could do was stare, wondering if he knew who she was. If he remembered her. If he was wondering how she’d managed to track him down. She’d never been one to read the tabloids and she didn’t have cable television so it had been weeks later that she’d learned from the girls at work who he really was.
What he’d been hiding.
He wedged his shoulder in the doorjamb and folded his arms over his chest, looking her up and down, those dark eyes putting a chink in the man-resistant armor she wore these days.
“And here I thought you’d been abducted by aliens,” he finally said, in that velvety dark-chocolate voice.
Okay, so he did remember her.
He wasn’t really going to pretend she’d wronged him somehow, was he? To stay the night in his room would have only been delaying the inevitable. The morning brush-off. The gee-it-was-nice, have-a-good-life speech men like him were notorious for.
At the time, she didn’t think her heart could take that, because she had fallen stupidly and completely in love with Ben that night.
“You weren’t looking for a relationship,” she reminded him.
His eyes narrowed. The same bottomless pools she’d found so entrancing that night. How could she have known what he’d really been hiding behind that dark exterior?
The smoldering look in his eyes burned hotter. “I’m still not looking for a relationship.”
“I just came to talk. Can I come inside?”
Though he looked hesitant, he held the door open wider and stepped back, all but disappearing into the dark interior.
The rubber soles of her work shoes squeaked on the marble floor as she stepped inside the cavernous foyer, and hazy darkness swallowed her like a hungry beast. As her eyes adjusted to the dim light, oddly shaped, ominous shadows crept soundlessly around her like restless spirits.
You don’t believe in spooks, she reminded herself.
The door closed behind her with a thud that bounced off the walls and echoed up the cathedral ceiling. Ben simply stood there, towering over her, arms folded over his chest, biceps straining against the sleeves of his shirt, his face hidden in shadow. His intimidating size, ropes of lean, corded muscle, were part of what had intrigued her that night, what had drawn her to him. As if she hadn’t learned her lesson so many times before. Dark angsty men were nothing but trouble.
But, boy they could be fun for a night or two.
He may have been dark and reserved in the bar, but under the covers she’d never had a more attentive, exciting or imaginative lover. It was all coming back now. How alive and beautiful he’d made her feel.
And why she’d run like hell in the middle of the night.
What he didn’t know is that he’d given her a gift. The piece of her that had always been missing, even if she hadn’t realized it. For the first time in her life she had a purpose. She wasn’t alone. And for that she owed him everything.
That included an explanation.
True, the timing couldn’t have been worse, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t happy. And scared of course. This would change everything.
She’d considered not telling him. Odds are he never would have found out. They didn’t exactly run in the same social circles. In fact, she had worked so many hours since moving here, she wasn’t even part of a social circle. And after everything he’d been through in the past year, well, he probably would have been better off left in the dark.
And considering the lack of light in here, that was exactly where he preferred to be.
She thought she could handle the burden alone, but as hard as she’d tried, her best efforts just weren’t cutting it anymore. She needed his help. And since there was no easy way to say it, to soften the blow, she decided it was best to just get it out.
She took a deep breath and held her chin high. “I just thought you should know that I’m pregnant and you’re the father.”
Her words hit Ben like a sucker punch.
For months now he’d considered going back to the resort bar in the hopes that she would be there. That they could reconnect. Something inside him had changed that night with her. He’d begun living again.
But this he’d never expected.
She may have acted as if she hadn’t known who he was that night in the resort, but clearly he’d been set up.
How could he have been so stupid?
He knew exactly how, and why now, months later, he still felt that tug of longing when she stood in his foyer. She’d been the first woman he’d connected with since the crash. The only one who had been able to make him forget the pain.
He used to believe that his heart had died along with his wife and unborn son, but something had clicked between himself and Tess that night.
Maybe it was because she was so different from Jeanette. Slim and angular and schoolgirl pretty to his wife’s lush figure and exotic beauty. She’d looked so petite and nymphlike. Sweet and innocent.
What a joke.
He never should have left the house that night, but the idea of spending the holidays in solitude had forced him out of his self-imposed isolation. He should have known what was up when he woke the next morning alone. Yes, it was true he told her he wasn’t looking for a relationship, but he hadn’t asked her to leave, either. He thought there had been a connection.
Apparently, he’d thought wrong.
He wondered how many other men she’d picked up in that bar. How many she’d used. And why she’d picked him to seal the deal. Because he was vulnerable? Or was it his bank balance?
And to think that he’d been this close to falling in love with her.
“You neglected to mention that you worked at the resort,” he said. She hadn’t told him much of anything about herself. Not that he’d asked. He hadn’t been looking for conversation, just a sweet, warm body to lose himself in. Kind of like a Christmas present to himself. By the time he realized he wanted more, she’d already disappeared.
She lifted her chin and looked him in the eye. “We didn’t spend a whole lot of time getting to know each other.”
“Actually, I thought we got to know each other rather…intimately.”
Tess bit her lip and her cheeks flushed bright pink. It would have been charming if he believed it were anything but an act.
“Maybe you don’t remember, but we used protection,” he said, sure that she would come up with some creative excuse why the condom had failed. All three of them, or had it been four?
She didn’t. “Believe me, I was just as surprised as you are. I didn’t plan this, either.”
“Let’s say it is mine. What do you want from me?” Like he didn’t already know. She probably had a long list of demands. Would she expect him to marry her? Did she think they would settle down together and play house? Or maybe she was looking for a break into acting.
She wouldn’t be the first who’d tried to use him for his connections.
She lowered her eyes to the floor, looking genuinely humbled. Give the girl an Oscar, she was one hell of an actress. “I need your help. I thought I could do this alone, but with the doctor bills and all the things I need for the baby…”
Just as he suspected.
“I want a paternity test,” he told her. “Before I give you a penny, I need to know if this really is my baby.”
Tess nodded, thankful he wasn’t going to make her beg. Her mother had struggled for years to make Tess’s wealthy father own up to his responsibility and pay child support. Tess had been sure Ben would fight her tooth and nail.
“I figured you would. I’ve already talked to my doctor about it. She said they can do the test next week, when I go in for my ultrasound.”
“Fine. I’ll contact my attorney.”
“If you want, you could come with me,” she said, figuring it was the least she could do. It was his baby as much as hers. Maybe they could reach some sort of accord, find some middle ground and maybe even learn not to resent each other.
Maybe they could even be friends.
“Come where?” he asked.
“To the appointment. To see the baby.”
Something dark and unsettling flashed across his face. He closed in on her, his eyes sparking with anger. “Let’s get something straight. If this is really my child, I’ll see that it’s taken care of, but I can’t be a part of its life.”
She took a step back and bumped into the door. He moved forward, boxing her in. If he was trying to intimidate her, it was working.
And he knew it.
“Why so nervous?” he said, easing even nearer, bracing his hands on either side of her head. Black hair framed his face, settling it deeper into the shadows, but she could still see his eyes—dark and penetrating pinned on her face. And so cold it made her shiver. “You didn’t mind being this close that night in my room. In fact, I was under the impression you rather enjoyed it.”
She glared up at him, refusing to be the one who backed down. She’d almost forgotten how beautiful he was. Beautiful in a completely masculine, testosterone driven way of course. But that was to be expected being the product of two gorgeous Academy Award winning actors.
He smelled good, too. The scent of his cologne and sheer male heat swirled through the narrow space between them. He smelled expensive and refined and…
My God, was she actually getting turned on by this he-man macho crap? It had to be the pregnancy hormones making her feel so loopy.
After that night with Ben she had forever sworn off men like him. They were nothing but trouble. If she ever did date again—and that was a big if—she was going to find herself a quiet, average, boring guy. She’d take safe and unexciting over sizzling and sexy any day.
She poked the solid mass of his chest with her index finger, feeling his body-heat soak through the silky softness of his sweater, enjoying the look of surprise on his face.
“You must think pretty highly of yourself if you believe I would want a relationship with you. Just like you, I went up to your room expecting one night. Go ahead and pin the blame on me if it eases your guilty conscience, but this is as much your fault as it is mine. I wasn’t in that room alone. If I recall correctly, you rather enjoyed it, too. And need I remind you that you were the one with the condoms? How do I know you didn’t do this on purpose? Maybe you get some sort of depraved thrill knocking up unsuspecting women. For all I know, you have illegitimate children all over the place.”
His expression shifted and he looked almost…wounded.
Was it possible she’d hurt his feelings? That he actually had feelings?
Ben dropped his hands from beside her head and backed away, his face somber. He looked so…sad. The brief charge of satisfaction hissed away like a deflating balloon.
“May as well take off your jacket and get comfortable,” he said. “We have a lot to discuss.”
Ben sat at his desk and ripped open the envelope his lawyer had messaged over. With a heavy heart, he read the results of the paternity test she’d taken last week. The wounds that had begun to heal in the year since his son’s death ripped open and grief twisted his insides.
Tess had been telling the truth. The baby was his.
If he had been able to talk Jeanette out of taking the trip to Tahoe while he wrapped up postproduction on his last film, she and his son would be alive. Even the doctor had said it was late in her pregnancy to be flying. Ben should have insisted, but when Jeanette wanted something she usually got it.
He would never forgive himself for letting them down, and he wouldn’t let it happen again. This baby was his, whether he wanted it or not. He would see that it was taken care of and raised properly.
In his son’s honor, he wouldn’t let anything bad happen to this child.
“I take it the news wasn’t what you’d hoped.”
He looked up to find Mildred Smith, his housekeeper, watching him from the doorway. Any other of his employees would have been fired for insinuating themselves into his business, but Mrs. Smith had been with his family since before Ben was born. It had only been natural to hire her when his parents moved permanently to Europe three years ago. She’d been with him those horrible months after the crash and had nursed him through the worst of it. She was more like family than hired help. More of a mother to him than his own mother had ever been.
“It’s mine,” he told her.
“What do you plan to do now?” she asked.
The only thing he could do. “I’m going to make sure she and the baby are safe. I’ll bring her here to live with us until it’s born.”
“You know nothing about this girl.” Her tone was stern, bordering on cold, but that was just her way. He knew she cared deeply for him. The past year hadn’t been easy for her, either. Though Mrs. Smith had never cared for Ben’s wife, the loss had hit her hard.
“I don’t know her, which is exactly the reason I need to keep her close. That’s my child she’s carrying.”
The one thing he didn’t get, that didn’t make sense about this whole situation, was why she’d waited so long to tell him. According to her due date, she had to be close to sixteen weeks pregnant. Meaning she’d known she was pregnant for at least a couple of months already.
He was sure she had her reasons.
He found the number Tess had jotted down on a slip of paper. It had been sitting there on his desk, taunting him for days. He hadn’t yet written it in his book, on the slim hope it was all a mistake. Since her visit last week, all communication had been through his attorney. Now it was time to make his position clear. Face-to-face.
“Suppose she doesn’t want to live here?” Mrs. Smith asked. “What then?”
He gave her a look, one that said he didn’t anticipate that being an issue. “You think a girl like that, with a menial job at the resort and next to nothing to her name, would pass up the opportunity to live in luxury? I know her kind. She’ll take whatever I have to offer.”
Two
“Absolutely not! There is no way I’m moving in with you.” All that Hollywood fame must have gone to Ben’s head if he thought he could boss her around. He hadn’t even asked. Instead he’d issued an order.
He sat casually behind his enormous desk like a king on his throne addressing his royal subjects. The only thing missing was a scepter and crown.
And tights—which she had to admit would be well worth seeing.
Instead he wore black again. Black shirt, black slacks. Did he own a single article of clothing in color?
Tess turned to see if the stern woman who had let her in was still standing in the doorway listening.
Thankfully she wasn’t.
Ben, Tess could handle. At least, she was going to give it a valiant effort. His housekeeper on the other hand—Lurch’s twin sister—gave her a serious case of the creeps.
“I have an apartment,” she said. “I don’t need or want to live here.”
“I didn’t need or want a child, yet one is being forced on me.”
“I did not make this baby all by myself,” she reminded him. “Besides, what has that got to do with where I live?”
“You live in a disreputable part of town. It’s not safe.”
“I do the best I can.” Not everyone was born with a silver spoon in their mouth—or in his case, an entire service for twelve. She was quite sure he had no concept of what it was like to struggle, to live on canned spaghetti and Wonder Bread until the next payday.
“If geography is such a problem for you, we can compromise. If you help me out financially, I can get a place in a part of town you deem as safe. Then we’ll both be happy.”
“Not acceptable. I need you here.”
“As I said, I don’t want to live here.”
“Shall I send someone over to help you pack?” he asked, as if she hadn’t just emphatically stated that she would not be moving.
She normally had interminable patience, but this guy was pushing all her buttons. “Are you hearing impaired? I said that I’m not moving into your house. That’s final.”
He went on as though she hadn’t spoken. “I also think it would be best if you quit your job. As a maid, you probably work with harmful cleaning solvents, and heavy lifting must be involved. It could be damaging for the baby.”
Whoa. Someone had serious control issues. Did he really think she would allow herself to become totally dependent on him? She’d been on her own since she was sixteen. She knew how to take care of herself, and she would take care of her baby. She just needed a little help—emphasis on little. A couple hundred bucks a month to help cover her extra expenses.
She glanced at the crystal tumbler filled with some sort of amber colored alcohol sitting on his desk. Warning bells clanged like crazy through her brain. She’d heard rumors from the other employees at the resort that he’d become a reclusive alcoholic since he’d lost his wife. The reclusive part she believed, the alcoholic part she’d only hoped wasn’t true. Looks like she might have been wrong.
Not that everyone who drank was an alcoholic, but she wasn’t taking any chances.
“I’m not quitting my job. I’ll give you weekly updates on my condition if it will make you feel better, but that’s it.”
“That reminds me,” he said. “I’ve picked an obstetrician I’d like you to see. He’s the best in the area.”
And it just kept getting weirder. Now he wanted to pick her doctor? Next he would be telling her how to dress, and what to eat.
“I already have a doctor I’m comfortable with that takes my insurance,” she told him.
“Expense isn’t an issue.”
“It is for me, since I’m the one paying for it.”
He folded his arms across his chest and leaned back in his chair. His face was partially hidden in shadow, but if she could see it, she was sure he would look annoyed.
It was so darned dark in here.
“What are you, a vampire? Could we maybe open some drapes? Turn on a light or two?”
He unfolded his arms, leaned forward and switched on the desk lamp. Yep, he looked annoyed all right.
“You mean to make this as difficult as possible, don’t you?” he asked.
Was he kidding? “I’m being difficult? You’re not the one whose life is going to drastically change. You don’t have to suffer the morning sickness and the weight gain and the stretch marks. And let’s not forget hemorrhoids and heartburn and hours of hard labor. The day you can do all that for me, I’ll let you start calling the shots. Until then, this is my body and my baby and I will go to whichever doctor I choose, and live wherever the heck I want. Is that clear?”
“If you don’t cooperate I could fight you for custody. I have unlimited financial resources.”
She knew he was desperate when he started tossing around legal threats.
“I’ve done my homework. I’ve got the numbers of half a dozen high profile bleeding heart attorneys who would just love to handle a case like mine pro bono.”
She could swear she saw a hint of amusement in his eyes. “Would you really want to put yourself through that? Agree to my terms and I’ll grant you full custody and adequate financial assistance to have you living in luxury for the rest of your life.”
She took a deep, calming breath. “Apparently you’re not hearing what I’m saying. I don’t want to live in luxury. I want a little help. Got it?”
He stared up at her, a vague smile curling his lips.
She propped her hands on her hips and glared at him. “I fail to see what it is about this situation you find amusing.”
He leaned back in his chair, gazing up at her. “I was just thinking about that night in the resort.”
Oh great, now did he think sex would be a part of the deal? “What about it?”