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www.millsandboon.co.uk
For Austin and Molly, who brighten my life in infinite ways.
And for Barbara, Chickie and Linda,
who soothe the savage beasts.
CONTENTS
CHAPTER 1
CHAPTER 2
CHAPTER 3
CHAPTER 4
CHAPTER 5
CHAPTER 6
CHAPTER 7
CHAPTER 8
CHAPTER 9
CHAPTER 10
CHAPTER 11
CHAPTER 12
CHAPTER 13
CHAPTER 14
CHAPTER 15
CHAPTER 16
CHAPTER 17
CHAPTER 18
CHAPTER 19
CHAPTER 20
CHAPTER 21
CHAPTER 1
Maureen Hart watched the glass cleaner drip down the bedroom window as she waited for someone to react, her back to the three other females in the room. Usually she spent the third Saturday of every month with the Rowdies, a group of girlfriends who descended on San Francisco’s club-and-concert scene with all the restraint of teenagers on spring break. This third Saturday, however, the Rowdies were blowing off steam without her as Maureen helped the pregnant-and-bedridden Bonnie Sinclair instead.
“He gave you a key to his house?” Maureen’s aunt Cherie repeated, her reaction sufficiently surprised. She had picked up her red Candy Land game piece but didn’t move it to the next purple square on the path. “Did you accept it?”
Maureen attacked the wet window with paper towels. “I didn’t know how not to.”
The game came to a complete halt at the news that Maureen’s boyfriend of five months, Ted Montague, had made a show out of giving her a key to his house, having wrapped it up like a present and smiling like a kid at Christmas as she opened it.
“Did you give him yours?” Cherie asked.
“I didn’t have an extra one.”
Cherie gave her an easily interpreted look.
“Well, I didn’t,” Maureen said.
“Are you going to?”
“I either have to or return his, don’t I?”
“Play, please,” ordered five-year-old Morgan, fidgeting on the queen-size bed.
Morgan’s seven-months-pregnant, ordered-to-bed mother, Bonnie, brushed the girl’s brown curls from her face and smiled. “Be patient, sweetheart. This is important information for later in your life.”
Morgan sighed. “Boring. Can I watch a movie?”
“Sure.”
The girl climbed off the bed and skipped out of the room. Bonnie rubbed her hands together. “Now we can talk. Why don’t you want to exchange keys, Maureen? You’ve been dating long enough, and you’re taking a big vacation together. It’s a natural step.”
It was a fish-or-cut-bait step, Maureen thought, eyeing the clean window for streaks. Exchanging keys was only a step away from moving in together, a first in her thirty-nine years.
“I’m sorry,” Bonnie said, subdued. “It’s really none of my business.”
“No, that’s not it at all. I just don’t have an answer.” Maureen set her cleaning supplies aside and sat on a chair next to the bed that Bonnie had called home for a week, and would continue to until she gave birth. “I’m sorting through how I feel.”
Maureen’s gaze drifted to the framed photograph on the nightstand of a handsome Navy lieutenant, Bonnie’s husband of six years, now stationed in the Middle East, with six months left on his current tour. “Did you hear from Jeremy today?” Maureen asked.
“I got an e-mail. He was very upbeat. I know he doesn’t want me to worry….”
An impossible task, Maureen thought, since Bonnie was confined to bed, unable to work, unable to do much of anything for herself or her daughter, which left a lot of time for thinking—and worrying. She had no family nearby, was dependent solely on public services and Cherie and Maureen, strangers until a week ago.
Morgan bounded back into the room, carrying several DVDs. With the efficiency of someone who’d grown up with the technology, she popped in a movie then climbed onto her mother’s bed, remote control in hand.
“So, Bonnie,” Cherie said as she put away the board game. “What else can we do before we leave?”
“Else? You’ve cleaned my apartment, top to bottom. You’ve stocked my refrigerator, given Morgan a bath, changed the bedding. I can’t even list it all. There’s nothing else. Thank you so much. Both of you.”
“Gregor will bring your food tomorrow and Monday. By Tuesday we should have a helper in place, at least for four or five hours a day. No word from your sister about coming to stay with you?”
“She’s trying to work it out. She’s got three kids of her own, you know. Everyone else has jobs they can’t leave.”
Can’t or won’t? Maureen wondered.
“I’ll see you on Tuesday,” Cherie said. “Just to make sure everything is working out. Call me if you need anything before then.”
Everyone hugged goodbye. A minute later Maureen and Cherie went down the flight of stairs and left the building. Night hadn’t quite fallen on the cool, breezy June day, a time of year Maureen loved, contrary to winter, when it was dark so early, making her bus ride home from work seem twice as long.
“I can’t believe no one from Bonnie’s family has come,” Maureen said as they walked to her car. “Or Jeremy’s for that matter. Why isn’t anyone helping?”
“My guess? Bonnie’s downplayed the seriousness of her condition.”
“Well, that’s ridiculous. Maybe I can sneak around a bit, find a phone number or two and give someone a nudge.”
“You’re getting attached,” her aunt said with a smile as Maureen pulled away from the curb, agitated.
Maureen smiled back. “Guilty. I can’t imagine being restricted like she is. I’m glad you found out about her. Glad we can help.”
“Me, too.”
Maureen admired her aunt more than anyone on earth. At seventy most people had slowed down a little. Cherie seemed to get busier. Retired from a forty-five-year career as a nurse, she now volunteered at a free clinic three mornings a week; delivered Mobile Meals three afternoons a week, a service she started herself five years ago when she retired, and worked at a soup kitchen on Sundays. She swam twice a week and walked almost everywhere. A petite five-two, she dressed in comfortable, trendy clothes and kept her hair colored and highlighted. She’d never married, but men doted on her. Most people did, actually. She sparkled like the silver peace symbol she always wore on a chain around her neck.
“Are you going to catch up with the Rowdies?” Cherie asked. “Seems like there’s enough time.”
“I’m tempted just to take a shower, slip into something comfortable and watch TV. It’s been a long day. But…” Every Saturday Maureen acted as Cherie’s driver to deliver meals to homebound people, starting at noon to pick up the prepacked meals from whichever restaurant was donating that particular day, until whatever time Maureen and Cherie finished delivering the meals and chatting with the recipients, who often didn’t have other company.
“But?” Cherie prompted.
“But I hate to miss seeing the Rowdies. Kicking up my heels.”
“How does Ted feel about your girls’ night out?”
“He’d rather I spend the time with him, of course. I don’t let it bother me.” Much. Maureen turned onto Cherie’s street and double-parked in front of her house.
Cherie patted Maureen’s cheek. “Thanks so much for going the extra mile for Bonnie.”
She hugged her aunt, the woman who’d been most responsible for raising Maureen since her mother died when Maureen was five. “It’s fun watching Morgan, especially since she’s so close in age to Riley.”
“I know it makes you miss him more, too.”
Maureen nodded and said good-night. Yes, she missed her grandson, and her daughter, too, who lived in Seattle. Maureen led a full, busy life. She had a job she loved, was even up for promotion to vice president of operations. She had a boyfriend, her first long-term, steady boyfriend in years and years. She had her Saturday work with Cherie for Mobile Meals, which satisfied a deep need to nurture. But it wasn’t the same as being with the people she loved most in the world.
Maureen’s house was only a few blocks from Cherie’s in the same Bernal Heights area of San Francisco. She parked her car in the garage she rented a few doors down from her own garageless house, then walked home.
Maybe she should invite Bonnie and Morgan to move in with her until the baby came. She had a guest room. And toys not being used by anyone….
The wrought-iron gate at the bottom of her stairway creaked when she opened it. The climb to her sweet little house seemed steeper than usual. Sometime soon she was going to find time for an exercise routine beyond her once-a-day ascent up one single flight….
Uh-huh. Sure. What other fantasies do you entertain?
“That Social Security will be viable when I retire,” she muttered aloud. “That chocolate is a food group. That knights in shining armor exist.”
Maureen fit her key into her front door and found it already unlocked. She froze. Had she locked it that morning? Of course she had. She never forgot to lock her door.
She turned the handle gingerly and eased open the door, then crept down the hallway to the living room, hearing voices. Heart hammering, she peeked around the corner and spotted her daughter and grandson watching television.
Shock gave way to pleasure, her heart pounding in a different way. She hadn’t seen them in six months, since Christmas. “Looks like I need to call 9-1-1. Somebody broke into my house.”
“We used Mommy’s key!” her six-year-old grandson exclaimed, looking nervously at his mother.
Maureen laughed. “Well, it’s not a crook, after all. It’s my sweet Riley. C’mere, you.” She crouched and opened her arms.
He finally smiled as he shyly approached her. His two front teeth were missing, giving him even more of an impish look than what she could see during their twice-weekly computer-video calls. Maureen kissed him, noting his shock of blond hair was spiked with gel, a new style for him. He looked adorable. Her heart swelled as she held him close. She wished he would relax against her. They’d had too little contact through the years, and had to rebuild their relationship every time they saw each other.
“Where did you come from?” she asked before she got mushy and embarrassed herself.
“From the car, silly.”
“Can I get a hug, too?” came a hopeful voice.
“Jess, honey.” Maureen reached for her beautiful daughter. She felt sturdy and strong, for all her slenderness. The rare pleasure of holding her daughter brought the sting of tears again. “What a wonderful surprise.”
Jess was only a slightly darker blond than Riley, but they both had Maureen’s green eyes, the only physical trait she seemed to have passed on to the next generations, which was okay by her. She’d been teased all her life about her red hair. “When did you get here?”
“Just a few minutes ago.”
“We’re having a ’venture,” Riley said.
“You are? Are you going on a safari?”
“No, silly. We came to see you!”
“I’m so happy you did.” Although curious…and wary. “You drove all the way from Seattle just to see me?” Without calling first?
“In only thirty-teen hours,” Riley announced.
Maureen looked sharply at her daughter. Like Maureen, Jess had become a single mother at seventeen. Unlike Maureen, Jess hadn’t been a model of responsibility.
“Thirteen,” Jess corrected her son. “We made plenty of stops along the way, Mom.”
The last thing Maureen wanted was an argument with her daughter, whom she usually saw only twice a year. “Are you hungry? Or thirsty?”
“Chocolate milk and chocolate chip cookies, please,” Riley said.
“Plain milk will have to do, okay?” If I’d known you were coming…
“Okay.”
She opened the cabinet where she kept toys for Riley’s rare visits. He raced over and pulled out a basket of Hot Wheels, grabbing the three unopened packages on top. “Awesome! Mommy, look! Fire engines.”
“Cool.” Jess knelt to help him open the packages.
Maureen watched them for a few seconds. Something was up. Tension beyond the normal mother/daughter strain crackled in the air. Jess barely made eye contact, unusual for her. “In your face” was a term coined with Jess in mind.
“How about you, Jess?”
“Cookies and milk would be great, Mom. Thanks.”
Maureen retreated to her cozy kitchen, her thoughts spinning. She glanced at the refrigerator, decorated with photos and crayon drawings. She touched a fingertip to last year’s Christmas photo and the grins on their faces. Why had Jess come? What was happening? Since Jess had spirited Riley off to Seattle when he was just a few months old, she rarely initiated contact. Maureen had been the one to make plans to visit, to make ninety-five percent of the phone calls. She’d even bought them a computer with a video camera so that she and Riley could keep in touch more intimately than through phone calls.
Why are you here, Jess?
Maureen got her cookie plate down from her cupboard and took out a bakery box of the big, chewy, chocolate chip cookies she kept to satisfy Ted’s sweet tooth, then poured two glasses of milk.
“I could use a little help,” she called out, hoping to get a minute alone with her daughter, but it was Riley who popped into the kitchen.
“Those cookies are big,” he said.
“Hmm. I think you’re right. Maybe I should break them into smaller pieces and put some back?”
“No way.” He grinned.
She handed him the plate, then picked up the glasses and followed him. They sat on the floor among a city of cars already in place.
“This is the dish that Mommy painted, huh, Grandma? I can read it now. It says, ‘I love you, Mom.’”
“That’s right. She made it for me when she was twelve years old, for Mother’s Day.” When I was still a cool mom to her.
Jess slid her fingers around the circle of multicolored hearts painted around the edge. “Aunt Cherie took me to a do-it-yourself ceramics shop. We had a blast.”
“I wanna do that,” Riley mumbled, cookie crumbs spraying.
“Swallow before you talk, bud.”
Maureen took advantage of the opportunity. “Maybe the shop is still in business. How long are you staying?”
“I’m not sure yet, Mom.”
“No idea? A day? A week? A month?” she added in a teasing tone.
“I really don’t know.”
An open-ended visit? Now Maureen was really worried.
A long silence followed, until Riley finished his cookie and yawned. “Mommy, I’m tired.”
“Of course you are, bud. Let’s get you to bed.”
Maureen opened the sleeper-sofa in the guest room while Jess supervised Riley’s bedtime preparations. Hugs and kisses followed. His stuffed tiger, Stripe, was tucked in with him. He was almost asleep before the light was turned out.
“I’m going to bed, too,” Jess said outside the guest room door. “I’m wiped.”
She headed toward the bathroom, but Maureen stopped her. “What’s going on?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean you drive all the way down here without calling first. What if I’d been gone?”
“You’re never gone.”
Maureen had no response to that. Jess was right. It was a bone of contention with Ted, too. Which was why she’d finally given in and scheduled a vacation.
“Jess—”
“Really, Mom, I’m exhausted. Can we talk later?”
“I guess so.” What else could she say?
Jess slipped into the bathroom and shut the door.
Maybe it would be good to wait until tomorrow anyway. Since they pushed each other’s buttons easily, having a full night’s sleep first could only help.
By the time Maureen cleaned up the kitchen it was a little after ten o’clock. She climbed into bed and dialed Ted’s number.
“Guess what I came home to?” she said when he answered.
“An empty house with no one to rub your feet.”
She smiled. “That’s true. And in retrospect…”
“I can be there in ten minutes.” When she didn’t encourage him, he said, “I give up. What did you come home to?”
“My daughter and grandson.” She filled him in.
“It’s hard to imagine someone coming that far without checking to see if it was okay.”
“It’s also so Jess. She’s always been impulsive. I wouldn’t be surprised to learn she got up early this morning and decided on a whim to come.” But what does she want? Because there has to be a catch….
“She knows we’re leaving for Europe in two weeks, right?”
“We really didn’t get to talk.” A long silence ensued. “Maybe we all could go on a picnic tomorrow. It would be a great way for you to get to know each other, in a casual situation like that.”
“Sure. I’ll come around noon.”
“Good. Gives me time to shop first.”
“How come you got home so early from your girls’ night?” he asked.
“Cherie and I ended up staying at Bonnie’s place a lot longer. She needed quite a bit done. I came home to change my clothes and go back out, but then Jess and Riley were here.”
“Lucky timing.”
“It sure was.”
After they hung up she lay in bed, too keyed up, too curious and too, well, happy. She shouldn’t question why Jess had come but just be grateful. Maybe Jess was reaching out. Maybe at twenty-three she was finally maturing.
Maybe second chances could happen, after all.
Then again, maybe it was just something to add to her list of fantasies.
CHAPTER 2
As much as Maureen wanted to sleep in, her internal alarm woke her at 6:00 a.m. Frustrated, she pulled the blanket higher and rolled over—and came almost nose to nose with Riley, who stood beside her bed, solemn-faced, staring at her. Her heart thumped at the surprise, but she calmly said good morning.
“Here.” He shoved an envelope at her.
Dread slammed into Maureen. She sat up and patted the spot beside her, inviting Riley to join her. He didn’t budge, except to tighten his hold on his tiger. His eyes brightened with tears.
She opened the letter.
Dear Mom,
I’m sorry to just take off like this, but I couldn’t let you talk me out of leaving. I’m going to be on True Grit! It’s a reality TV show, and the winner gets a million dollars. I’m going to win. I just know it.
The filming takes about six weeks. You won’t be able to get in touch with me unless it’s an emergency. I attached a sheet of instructions from the show’s producers and the legal forms you need if you have to authorize medical care for Riley. I won’t be allowed to call home. I have no idea where I’ll be.
I know you don’t think I’m responsible, Mom, but I can do this. I can win it. Then I’ll have enough money to be independent and take care of Riley by myself. It’s for him, Mom. He’ll also need money for college, and this is the best chance I have of getting it. And it’s time for me to go out on my own, not rely on Daniel anymore.
So I’m leaving Riley with you. You’ve always said you’ve been cheated out of knowing him because I took him to live at Daniel’s. Now’s your chance.
Have fun with my baby.
Love, Jess
P. S. I’ve enclosed a blank journal. I’d appreciate it if you would jot things down, you know, the Rileyisms he’s famous for, so that I don’t feel like I’ve missed so much time with him. Thanks!
“She went away,” Riley said, his lower lip quivering. “She’s not coming back for a long, long time. Forever!”
Against his protests, Maureen lifted him into bed and tucked him close. Jess, Jess, Jess. What have you done? And why me instead of Daniel? “Did Mommy tell you where she’s going, honey?”
He nodded, his face rubbing her chest. “She’s going to win a bazillion dollars.”
And what were the chances of her being the last one standing and winning the prize?
“I want my mommy.”
“I know, sweetie.” She searched for the right words to help him. It was the first time he’d been away from Jess, and she’d apparently surprised Riley as much as Maureen. “Did she tell you she’s going to be on television? On True Grit? Do you watch True Grit?”
“Yeah, with Mommy. It’s kinda weird.”
She would have to take his word for it, since she’d never seen an episode. But it had become a pop-culture icon, and she knew enough about it to wonder if Jess could compete. Was she strong enough, physically and mentally, to withstand the intense challenges?
“Won’t it be fun to see Mommy on TV?”
“I guess.”
“And I’m happy because I get you all to myself.” What was she going to do with him? She couldn’t stay home from work. And what about her vacation with Ted? He wasn’t going to understand. Oh, no, he wasn’t going to understand at all.
“Are you hungry? Would you like some of my super-duper chocolate-chip waffles?”
“Can I have maple syrup, too?”
Maureen refrained from shuddering at the double dose of sweetness. “Of course you can.” Her mind was whirling. Why hadn’t Jess left Riley with Daniel? It made no sense to bring Riley all the way down here, to take him from the only home he’d known.
But he’s mine. Happiness overshadowed her questions. For just a little while she would enjoy the gift Jess had given her.
“SOMEONE’S HERE,” Riley said, standing at Maureen’s front window.
“A tall man with short gray hair?”
“Yeah. He’s skinny.”
Maureen preferred to think of Ted as lanky. He was fifty, eleven years older than she, and very handsome, turning heads everywhere they went. “That’s Ted. He’s my boyfriend,” she said, getting up off the floor and heading toward the hallway.
“You have a boyfriend?” he asked, as if shocked.
Yeah. A stunner, isn’t it? She laughed quietly as she went to the front door, opening it before Ted could knock. “Hi.”
He was nine inches taller than her five foot six, so he had to stoop a little to kiss her, even as she went up on tiptoe. She moved in for a hug, more for herself than him. She dreaded telling him—
“You must be Riley,” Ted said, stepping back and looking over Maureen’s shoulder.
She turned. Her grandson was peeking around the doorway. “I’m Riley Joshua Cregg,” he said.
“Ted Montague. Good to meet you.” They shook hands like gentlemen, which made Maureen smile.
They all moved into the living room. Ted stopped and stared. “You opened a toy store.”
Not exactly, but she’d dug out Jess’s old toys, and Riley had brought a lot with him. They were scattered and piled throughout the room. “We couldn’t decide what we wanted to play with.”
“I see.” He looked around. “And your daughter?”
Without comment, Maureen picked up the envelope and passed it to Ted. Halfway through reading Jess’s letter, he sat in the overstuffed chair he’d claimed as his over the past few months. She looked around the room as he poured through the documents. The place really was a mess, and she generally hated mess, but she didn’t mind this one, the scattering of toys and the noise of one small boy.
Her furnishings suited the Italianate Victorian facade of the building, with its pretty blue-with-white trim. The eleven-foot ceilings made the house seem bigger than its actual square footage. It was roomy enough for her—two bedrooms, a full basement with lots of storage space, a bright, cozy kitchen and big, sunny backyard. She’d bought it fifteen years ago, before the area had started to gentrify, and it was now worth a small fortune, at least to her.
Ted folded up the papers and slid them back into the envelope. He met her gaze. She’d never seen him angry before. Annoyed, maybe, but not truly angry—until now. His whole face frowned, making him look his age, when he usually looked younger.