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She was so wounded, and so fiercely defensive about keeping people away from her, yet the woman standing there at the door, ready to bolt, didn’t fool him at all.
Not for a minute. She wanted what he wanted to give her—and, unless he was totally mistaken, she loved him.
He turned back and finally did what he’d wanted to do all along. He pulled Bella into his arms and kissed her—not in a friendly little gesture, as he’d done before, but in the way a man needed to kiss a woman. Crushing her hard to his body, he lowered his head to her and sought her lips with a hunger that surprised him. Prying open her mouth with his tongue, he sought the deep recesses, felt her respond with her own tongue, heard just the slightest whimper of a moan escape her as she wound her fingers around his neck and held him there. Pressed her hips to his in a carnal way that caused him to go erect immediately and groan aloud, with no thought whatsoever about where they were and who might be watching them…
Now that her children have left home, Dianne Drake is finally finding the time to do some of the things she adores—gardening, cooking, reading, shopping for antiques. Her absolute passion in life, however, is adopting abandoned and abused animals. Right now Dianne and her husband Joel have a little menagerie of three dogs and two cats, but that’s always subject to change. A former symphony orchestra member, Dianne now attends the symphony as a spectator several times a month and, when time permits, takes in an occasional football, basketball or hockey game.
Recent titles by the same author:
THE WIFE HE’S BEEN WAITING FOR
A BOSS BEYOND COMPARE
ITALIAN DOCTOR, FULL-TIME FATHER
A FAMILY FOR THE CHILDREN’S DOCTOR
THEIR VERY SPECIAL CHILD
BY
DIANNE DRAKE
CHAPTER ONE
“EVERYTHING checks out fine, Dr. Burke.” Dr. Raul Navarro gave Bella an encouraging smile as he handed her a prescription for eardrops. “It’s just a reaction to flying, a little congestion in the eustachian tube. It happens all the time, and it’s nothing to worry about. But it’s better to treat it now than let it go.”
Fly to Peru, get an earache. Of all the rotten luck. “I’m not worried about it so much as frustrated. My timing’s lousy, isn’t it? I haven’t been sick one day in five years, not even with a simple cold, and yet here I am…” She gestured to the tiny office. “The first thing I have to do when I get off the plane is go see a doctor.”
Navarro chuckled. “It’s true what they say, you know. Doctors do make the worst patients. But I promise you, in another day or two, with the eardrops, you’ll be as good as new. So, what kind of medicine did you say you practice?”
“Pediatrics. I specialize in children under the age of six.”
“It takes someone special to handle the children. I thought about going into pediatrics for about a minute. Then I was assigned to work in the pediatric ward during my first rotation as an intern, and that’s when I learned I had no talent for it. Children are these little balls of mystery, and if you’re not a good detective who can solve that mystery pretty quickly, the child can suffer. It’s easier for me to simply have my adult patient list symptoms and point me in the direction of what’s ailing them.”
“But children point, too. Just in different ways. It’s all in what you know and what you perceive, I suppose.”
“Or where your special talent comes in. With children, you’ve either got it, or you haven’t. I don’t, which is why I’m treating you and not the Menendez twins, who come in every few days for one thing or another. So, use the drops and by tomorrow you should notice an appreciable difference. That plugged-up feeling will start to disappear and the popping you’re experiencing will stop. Of course, you already know that, ddin’t you? Working with children, I’ll bet you treat more ear infections than I do. So, what brings you here?” he asked as he made the last of his notes in the chart. “Holiday? Visiting friends?”
“Just looking around. Curiosity, mostly.” And closure. “My sister loved Peru, and I thought I’d come see what she fell in love with.”
“Well, your sister has very good taste. I was gone for several years when I was in medical school and I came right back.” Finishing his charting, the doctor handed it to the office nurse then led Bella through the hall to the waiting room.
Rounding the corner, she bumped straight into a man with a baby in his arms. A very loud baby at that. A cry that caught her attention, except she wasn’t on duty. “I’m sorry,” she said, stepping back from him as he pulled the infant tighter to his chest.
More intent on the doctor, the man didn’t seem to notice Bella. “Raul, where’s the pediatric clinic?” he asked Dr. Navarro.
“Gabriel, my friend…” Dr. Navarro started, then glanced at the bundle in his arms. “And who do we have here?”
“Ana Maria,” Gabriel said. “Two days old, and she needs a doctor.”
“I didn’t know you had…” Dr. Navarro said, signaling his nurse forward as Bella instinctively stepped closer to take a look at the child. But Gabriel pulled even further away from her. A very natural, protective gesture Bella recognized from so many parents of her tiny patients.
“Who’s your pediatrician?” Gabriel persisted.
He seemed more flustered than frightened, Bella thought, as most parents of newborns like his usually were. She saw it all the time in her pediatric practice—when a brand-new infant sneezed or coughed, the parents went to pieces. Sometimes to the point of being irrational or inconsolable. But it was all fear. She understood that, and sympathized with the man.
“Sorry, Gabriel, but he’s not in today,” Dr. Navarro replied when Gabriel had told him. “I could have one of our general practitioners take a look at her, though. Or perhaps I could…”
“Or I could take a look,” Bella offered without giving it a thought.
Both men looked at her. Dr. Navarro smiled, while the man he called Gabriel frowned. “That’s right,” Doctor Navarro said. “You are a pediatrician. So, you wouldn’t mind doing this? Because I’d appreciate your help, especially considering what you already know about my way with babies.”
Before Bella could reply, Gabriel thrust the baby into her arms. “Her name’s Ana Maria. She’s two days old,” he said. “Closer to three now.”
“I’m Dr. Arabella Burke,” she responded, although she was sure he wasn’t paying that much attention to her. His focus was on the office nurse, who’d thrust a chart at him with a patient history to fill out. “Call me Bella,” she continued, but more to Ana Maria than to Ana Maria’s father, who was scribbling furiously now.
Pulling the blanket back from the baby’s face as she followed Dr. Navarro to an empty exam room, she looked into the face of an angel. A beautiful, perfect little angel. And things felt…right. Right for the first time since Rosie had died. The power of a baby, she thought. A baby who needed her. Or maybe it was the other way around.
Sniffing Ana Maria’s breath, Bella turned up her nose at the unmistakable smell. Curdled milk! The baby had a tummy-ache from curdled milk, which gave the poor little thing every right to cry the way she was doing. “What are you feeding her?” Bella asked Gabriel, her full attention on her tiny patient, although she did chance one brief glance into the adult version of her tiny patient’s eyes. Beautiful eyes, both father and daughter.
“Milk,” he answered. He handed the paperwork back to the nurse then positioned himself where he was able to look directly over Bella’s shoulder, moving in so close to her they were practically pressed together. So close she could smell the wonderful scent of his aftershave. Lime? She wasn’t sure, but it had a nice crispness to it that suited his crisp edge. And it was nothing to admire in a married man with a sick baby!
“As in…what kind of milk? Mother’s milk?” She seriously doubted that was the case, judging from what she smelled on Ana Maria. “Cow’s milk?” Laying a gentle hand across the baby’s chest, she turned to look at Gabriel, this time giving him a full appraisal. Handsome man. Large. Broad shoulders. She liked the look of the locals…liked it very much, especially on this local. Ana Maria took after her father in her looks, and Bella couldn’t help but think that Gabriel’s wife must be beautiful, too. “Soy milk, maybe?”
He cleared his throat nervously. “Goat’s milk. Raw.”
“Raw goat’s milk?” That did surprise her. But there were cultural differences in Peru from those she was used to. She understood that, especially in the more rural areas. That was one of the diversities her sister had loved here. Yet Bella didn’t really peg Gabriel for the rural type. Not in the way he dressed, not in his precisely tailored haircut or the finely buffed finish of his fingernails. Not in the expensive leather dress shoes he wore or the silver wristwatch on his left wrist, which probably cost more than many people here made in an entire year. “Well, she isn’t tolerating the goat’s milk,” Bella said. “It might be an allergy to it, or it simply could be that the milk is too harsh for her newborn system. My suggestion would be to have her mother switch to breastfeeding, if that’s possible, and if it’s not…”
“Her mother died in childbirth. My mother has a goat, and that’s the only available milk.”
Blunt words, and startling. And his face was so dispassionate, the tone of his voice so thorny when he spoke that Bella shivered from his tragedy, from her own… “I’m…I’m so sorry. I didn’t know.” That explained the goat’s milk, though.
“Why should you?” he snapped. “You don’t know me, I don’t know you. How the hell would you know anything?”
Surprise, mixed with sympathy and indignation, assailed her over his reaction. People grieved, people got angry over the death of a loved one, and she’d dealt with all the emotions herself these past weeks. That’s why she was here in Peru now—to deal with the emotions. But she was seeing something else in Gabriel, something she couldn’t even guess at. She blinked hard, trying to disconnect herself from the growing opinion that this man was just plain ill mannered. He’d lost his wife, for heaven’s sake, and he was grieving. He also had a sick little girl to deal with, so if ever there was a reason to be rude, this man had it, and her heart did go out to him. “No, I don’t know you. But I’m still very sorry for your loss.”
“I…um…” A deep sigh followed by a barely perceptible wince escaped him as he glanced down at Ana Maria, who’d finally quit crying for the moment. “I didn’t mean to be so…” He ran an impatient hand through his hair. “Do you have any formula suggestions, Doctor? I don’t know enough about what’s available to make a good choice. And I’m sorry for—”
“No need for an apology. I understand.” She’d lost her sister and three friends only two months ago, and in the past few weeks she’d snapped at people the way he did, taken offense where none had been intended, and had found herself apologizing profoundly for her irrational behavior on many occasions.
So, yes, she did understand. Her suffering was unquestionably different from his, but she did know what it felt like to hurt so very deeply and suffer long and hard from it, and her heart ached for this man, for what lay ahead of him. “No need to apologize at all,” she continued. “And as far as a formula for Ana Maria goes, I don’t know what’s available here, but my preference for a little while would be something soy-based, just until her doctor can determine what kind of intolerance she’s built up. Back in the States, there’s a particular product I usually recommend, especially for newborns, and I’d like to see if we can—”
He held out his hand to stop her. “Done. I’ll get the formula. Give me the name and I’ll get it here. Have it over-nighted.”
A man of action. She liked that decisiveness in him. In some people it more resembled arrogance but in Gabriel it was…sexy. Except she wasn’t going to think sexy in terms of a man who’d just lost his wife. It was wrong. Just plain wrong.
Clearing her throat, hoping the diversion would clear her mind of those uninvited thoughts, Bella snapped her head toward the window and fixed her gaze on a boy in the street.
He was playing with a dog…brown and white spots. Cute boy. Cute dog. Focus, Bella. Just…focus. A deep breath steadied her as she looked back at Gabriel…concentrating on one of his shirt buttons, mid-chest. “Overnighted…good. Let me write down the name of a distributor I know, and you can tell him you talked to me. He’s usually responsive to my referrals.” She lifted her gaze to his chin then finally to his eyes again. So dark and…deep. Focus, Bella. “And in the meantime, to feed Ana Maria, I’d suggest—”
“Sugar water,” he volunteered.
He was staring at her…his brown eyes into her green ones. Causing shivers. Goose bumps up and down her arms. Focus, Bella. It was merely a sympathy reaction. “Yes, sugar water is good. As long as you keep her hydrated she’ll be fine with that for a little while, and I think giving her tummy time to settle down is wise at this point. Babies usually tolerate sugar water quite well.” There were different things she might have tried if they were someplace else, but they were here, and the simple approach seemed the best, given the circumstances. Besides, Gabriel was competent. He exuded that, and so much more, which put her at ease with her decision. “And you’re going to be just fine,” she said to Ana Maria, as she picked her up and held her close for a moment, savoring the feel of having a baby in her arms. Savoring the baby smell of her, too.
Dear God, she missed medical practice. It had been two months and it seemed like two years. She needed to get back. “Look, I don’t work here, or I’d advise keeping Ana Maria under observation for a few hours, just to make sure she doesn’t start vomiting or get dehydrated. Let me talk to Dr. Navarro, and maybe he’ll have a suggestion.”
Almost against her will, Bella placed the baby back into Gabriel’s arms. “Another trained eye is always good in situations like this, so let me…”
“I’d appreciate that. But I don’t want her first few days of life to be spent under watch in a medical facility. She deserves…better from me.” There was no animosity in his voice. He wasn’t arguing the point, merely explaining it. And his voice broke with those words, causing Bella’s heart to lurch. Yet what she saw…the way he held the baby wasn’t as nurturing as she would have expected. Or as protective. Ana Maria was pulled close to his body, but it was a stiff gesture, one done more from obligation, or from textbook learning, than his natural desire to take care of this child.
Honestly, that did puzzle her. Of course, she hadn’t lived his life these past few days. Hadn’t experienced his traumas and emotions. Perhaps he was frightened of becoming too attached to his child, especially after the death of his wife. And now that his daughter was sick…yes, his stiffness was certainly understandable, but even one as young as Ana Maria sensed that and Bella feared what might come of what Ana Maria was feeling right now…her daddy’s uneasiness.
Easy, Bella. This isn’t your medical practice. The man Dr. Navarro had called Gabriel was a stranger and his daughter was not her patient. Other than a quick exam as a courtesy to a nice doctor who didn’t have a pediatrician available, she had no business getting involved in this matter. Yet Gabriel seemed so emotionally detached, she couldn’t help but speak. “You may think Ana Maria deserves better than a short stay in a hospital, and I won’t argue with you there, but she also deserves to be watched by someone who’s qualified to see complications and signs and symptoms, and I believe—”
“I appreciate your concern, but I’m physician—well, surgeon, actually,” he interrupted. “Not a pediatrician, but I have enough skills to look after a baby.”
So he was a fellow medic? Now, that was a surprise. Or maybe it wasn’t. The man she was seeing here, right this very minute, wasn’t himself. He was under an extraordinary amount of stress. But, yes, she could imagine him as a doctor, especially when she took another look at his hands…nice hands. Gentle. Smooth. They certainly looked like the hands of a surgeon. “You’re a physician under a lot of stress,” she said sympathetically. “And while I’m sure, under normal circumstances, that you’re very good at what you do, these aren’t normal circumstances, Doctor…”
“Velascos. Gabriel Velascos.”
“And I’m Arabella Burke,” she told him again. This time he was definitely paying attention. “Most people call me Bella.”
His smile turned warm for a fraction of a second. “That’s a pity. Arabella is a lovely name. It suits you, Arabella.”
His voice dropped its pitch just a fraction. Went smooth and silky, like a fine cognac. Was he actually flirting with her? His wife had been dead less than three days and he was already flirting?
It caught her off guard, shocked her. Under different circumstances she might have been flattered by it. But under these circumstances she wasn’t sure what she felt, and in response she donned her best, most professional expression. “I’d still like to have someone else observe Ana Maria for a little while, since you’re emotionally involved.” But maybe not as much as he should have been. Unfortunately, all her initial good impressions of Dr. Gabriel Velascos were starting to melt away, and now she wasn’t sure what she was feeling. Pity, for sure. And a little anger mixed in. Maybe some confusion, too. “I’ll be back in a moment, Dr. Velascos, after I’ve consulted with Dr. Navarro.”
With that, Bella escaped into the hall, all too glad to be away from the very puzzling Dr. Gabriel Velascos. All too breathless over him too, which made no sense whatsoever.
* * *
Well, he’d called it right. Thank God Ana Maria’s problem was only an intolerance to the goat’s milk, as he’d expected. That was easily fixed. And the rest of it…one step at a time. One lousy step at a time. He’d get her milk intolerance straightened out, then think about what came after that. That’s all he could do—just take care of the baby the best way he knew how.
“A baby. I have a baby.” Dear God, what was he going to do with a baby? Yesterday he’d been a man without attachments, today he had a baby. His sister’s baby. “A baby.”
Saying the words out loud, or thinking them…either way, his breath caught in his throat for an instant, threatening to asphyxiate him with the complications of what those four simple words meant—I have a baby. “A baby…Lynda’s baby. My baby.” He whispered the words reluctantly, trying them on the way he tried on a pair of new shoes—cautiously at first, to see if they fit, then, only after they did, deciding if they were comfortable enough to keep. The only thing was, if a pair of shoes didn’t fit, he always had the option of asking for another size or simply walking away from the store empty-handed. But with this baby—Ana Maria—no matter how much she didn’t fit his lifestyle, and there was definitely no give in there for her whatsoever, he couldn’t just send her back and ask for another size, or walk away altogether. Lynda had been so excited to have a child…she’d cherished her pregnancy, lived for the moment she gave birth. So many times over the months she’d told him how being a mother was her destiny, so how could he walk away from that? How could he walk away from what had meant the world to her? And from his own flesh and blood?
He couldn’t. That was his answer, and also his problem. Ana Maria’s father had walked away, but he couldn’t. “My baby,” he said one more time, hoping that by saying the words they would somehow bring about a magical change in his dilemma…like Lynda really being alive, or Hector having a change of heart and welcoming his new baby girl into his family after all.
Neither of those things were going to happen, though. Practicality was one of the traits he counted on most when nothing else worked, and, being the practical man he considered himself to be, he couldn’t see anything else working here. No miracles. No flights of fancy or fantasy. He had a baby now. And nothing changed the fact that those simple words were causing his stomach to churn, his head to pound, his whole world to spin, and his destiny to be cast into directions he’d never looked forward to for himself. Not like this, anyway.
His baby, maybe. But what the hell was he going to do about it?
“We’ll get it figured out,” he whispered to Ana Maria. He didn’t look at her, though. Not too closely. For now it was best to keep her at a distance. Protect her, care for her, but keep the emotional attachment under check until he could figure out what to do. “Whatever happens, Ana Maria, I promise that no matter what I do, it will be in your best interests. You deserve better than what you’ve had so far, and I’ll make sure you get it.” It was a promise he took to heart, and one he didn’t know how to fulfill.
Finally chancing a quick glimpse of the baby in his arms, Gabriel caught her looking up at him, her big eyes full of…was that trust? No, babies that age didn’t trust. They couldn’t even focus. For the most part they merely existed, and responded to their environment. The way Ana Maria was looking at him right now was only a response, probably to his voice. She wasn’t used to hearing a man’s voice, that’s all. But when he risked another quick look to confirm his diagnosis… damn it, he was positive he saw trust again. “Don’t do that,” he warned. “Not with me, because it won’t work, Ana Maria. You can look at me that way all you want, but it’s not going to work.”
Her eyes were so beautiful, though. As beautiful as Arabella’s eyes which, he thought, had been the most beautiful eyes he’d ever seen. Except in Arabella’s he saw sadness. She held it back, but it was there, and he did wonder what made such beautiful eyes so sad.
Pulling Ana Maria a little closer to him, he assumed a natural rocking action, waiting for Arabella to return, and within seconds Ana Maria was fast asleep in his arms. If only life really was that simple.
“They really don’t have the facilities here in the clinic to keep her, but Dr. Navarro said he’d have his office nurse watch her for a couple of hours to make sure she’s getting along better.” It wasn’t a perfect solution, but it would do. And the baby would be under observation for a short time, which made Bella feel a lot better. Gabriel was also a doctor with so much emotional turmoil, and Bella knew, better than most, how that could play on good judgment. She was glad Nurse Melaina Juarez had agreed to keep watch for a while.
“Look, I’m grateful for everything you’ve done, Arabella. I think that while they’re looking after Ana Maria here, I’ll go and make arrangements for the formula to be sent.”
“So before you leave, maybe later today, would you like me to have another look at her?”
He shook his head. “You’ve done more than most people would have, and I’m sure you have things you’d rather be doing than looking after a stranger.”
Things she dreaded doing. Things she wanted to put off doing. “Yes, I do, actually. But to be blunt, Doctor, I don’t think you’re reacting normally to Ana Maria right now. You’re…too stiff. You know, doing what’s required but not with the emotional nurturing she needs from you. She’s a beautiful little girl yet you hold her like she’s made of plastic…a plastic doll. And you seem to respond to her, but in a very stilted way. Which worries me. You said you’d take care of her and maybe you mean that, but I get the feeling that taking care of a newborn is the last thing you want to do. In which case I think it might become very easy for you to overlook something in her condition. And I’m not implying that you’d mean to do it, because I don’t think you would intentionally. But with what you’ve just been through, things aren’t normal for you now, and you’re not responding as you normally would.”