Healing The Md's Heart: Healing the MD's Heart

Chapter Seven

“Dr. Kerrigan’s gonna be there, isn’t she?”

Duran glanced up from the last e-mail he wanted to finish before he and Noah left for the afternoon. Sawyer, Tommy and Cruz’s wife, Aria, all had July birthdays and in celebration, the family had decided to throw a large barbeque at the ranch, inviting—it seemed to Duran—most of Luna Hermosa. Everyone, Noah included, automatically assumed Duran and his son would be there, and Duran had made the same assumption about Lia, although no one had specifically mentioned her name.

“I don’t know for sure,” he told Noah, who was standing by his chair with Percy under his arm, shifting from foot to foot, impatiently waiting for an answer.

“Then call her and ask her,” Noah insisted.

“I could, but it’s not our party. If she didn’t get invited, then I can’t ask her to come.”

“Why not? Don’t you want her to come?”

He did, but he wasn’t sure he wanted to admit that to Noah. In the course of a few weeks, she’d somehow become an important part of their lives. Lia was great with Noah. His son loved being the center of her caring attention and was quickly forming an attachment to Lia that wouldn’t be easily broken. And that was fast becoming a problem.

“Dad—”

“Okay, I’ll call,” Duran said, avoiding answering Noah’s question. “But I can’t promise she’ll say yes.”

Lia had given him her cell number but she sounded surprised he’d used it, asking immediately if something was wrong. “I was on my way out there for the party, but I can meet you in town if there’s a problem.”

“There’s not. One of your admirers just wanted to know if you were coming by the ranch today, but since you’ve answered that question, we’re good.”

He could almost hear her smile and with it, relax. “Well, it’s nice to know I have admirers. Tell Noah I’m looking forward to seeing him.”

“How about Noah’s dad?” he asked.

“Him, too,” she admitted softly. “I’ll be there soon.”

By the time she arrived, little less than an hour later, it was nearly five, most everyone else had arrived, and behind the big ranch house the talking, laughter and music signaled the party was well underway. Duran, finding himself in a group with Sawyer, his wife Maya and several of their friends from the fire department where Sawyer worked, was trying to remember all the introductions while keeping a watchful eye on Noah, playing a short distance away.

Within ten minutes of them walking into the party, his son had been drawn into a group of children around his age that included Sammy and the two Gonzalez brothers, sons of the doctor Maya worked with at the town’s wellness clinic. They were all now engrossed in building various structures out of sticks and rocks for an eclectic assortment of action figures. Noah looked happy and busy and Duran thought that, if nothing else, this trip had given his son a chance to forget his problems for a while and enjoy being a kid.

“Oh, there’s Lia,” Maya said, pulling Duran’s attention from Noah. She smiled and waved Lia in their direction. Duran found himself watching her, momentarily oblivious to everyone around him, as she made her way toward him.

She wore low-riding jeans and sandals and a tiny, deep-gold sleeveless top, and she’d left her hair loose so it framed her face, straight and smooth. She smiled for him first before greeting everyone else, the smile slipping momentarily when she recognized one of the men in the group.

“Hi, Tonio, I haven’t seen you for a while.”

He nodded, his return smile brief. “Likewise. How’ve you been?”

“Fine. Busy. How about you?”

“The same. I’m surprised to see you here, though. You’ve usually got some reason to be working.”

The last came out with a touch of reproach and although Duran didn’t understand the silent meaning behind it, the man’s tone irritated him. “Today she’s got some reason to be here,” he said as he casually slid his arm around her waist.

The gesture had everyone looking at the two of them with mixed surprise and speculation, Maya and Sawyer in particular. Lia, a little flushed, glanced at him but didn’t attempt to move away.

“I see,” Tonio finally said, and might have added something else, but a woman and another couple walked up, the woman leaning into his arm as Tonio smiled down at her.

Sawyer introduced her as Rita Pérez, and the conversation turned to some planned group outing, but Duran was only half listening. He was watching Lia, her strained smile and the stiffness in her shoulders telling him she was uncomfortable with the situation. He hoped he hadn’t made things worse with his impulse to defend her.

“You haven’t said hi to Noah yet,” he said to her. “He’ll want to know you’re here.”

When they’d made their excuses and were out of earshot of the others, Lia stopped and turned to him. “Thanks, but you didn’t have to do that. Any of it,” she added.

He wanted to ask who Tonio Peña was to her and the undercurrent of animosity that ran between them, but it wasn’t any of his business. Instead he said, “No, but you looked like you needed a reprieve.”

“I appreciate it, but now you’re going to have put up with us being the new topic of gossip around town. You’ve probably had more than your fair share of attention already since everyone’s found out you’re Jed’s son. I hate being the reason you’re going to get more. It’s the last thing you need.”

“I’ll survive,” he said, shrugging it off. “Besides, I’d rather be talked about for being seen with a beautiful woman than for being Jed Garrett’s long lost son.”

She smiled at that. “I’m still sorry. But I can’t say I was disappointed to get away from that group.” Hesitating, she seemed to debate with herself for a moment then sighed. “Tonio and I were—” she gestured, grasping for the right word “—together, for almost a year. It didn’t end very well.”

“I’m sorry. I know what that’s like.”

Her gaze slid away from his. “It wasn’t quite the same. He’s a good guy, and if I’d given him a chance, we might have…” She shook her head. “We’d been dating for a while and he wanted to move in together, to make things more permanent. I just—I didn’t think it would work. He finally gave up and walked out.” When she looked up at him again, her expression was regretful. “Fair warning, I’m lousy at relationships.”

“My mother used to tell me people who say that just haven’t found the right one.” He kept his tone deliberately light, disguising the uneasiness her confession had stirred in him. She was telling him that she wasn’t good at commitment and from the few things she’d said about her parents, he’d gathered that unlike him, she’d never had an example to follow, had never learned to value steadfast devotion and love. In that, she wasn’t so very different from his ex, though Amber had never shown the depth of caring and concern for others that Lia did.

“If I ever found the right one, he’d be smart enough to run the opposite direction,” Lia said with a short laugh, but it was layered with regrets and a touch of sorrow.

Instinctively, he wanted to reach out to her again, to offer comfort for all the past pain that had put those shadows in her eyes. She didn’t let him, but, catching sight of Noah, went over to say hi, kneeling down to accept a hug and listen with apparently rapt interest as Noah and his new friends gave her a detailed explanation of their construction project.

“Noah seems to have made a lot of new friends,” a voice spoke up behind him. Duran turned to find Aria and Cruz next to him. Aria nodded toward Lia, who was now examining one of Noah’s action figures. “Lia’s such a kid magnet. It’s no wonder she’s so terrific at her job.” She glanced at Duran, mischief in her smile. “From what I hear, she’s made an impression on you, too.”

“Don’t start,” Cruz warned. “You’re getting as bad as Maya with the matchmaking attempts.”

Aria leaned back against her husband and he took her in his arms, their hands linked over the prominent curve of her belly. “Sorry,” she told Duran. “I blame being pregnant. It’s turned me into a sappy romantic.”

“You were always a sappy romantic,” Cruz murmured, brushing a kiss on her temple.

“Says you.”

“When’s the baby due?” Duran asked them.

“The end of August. Although with our track record, he’ll probably be early or late.” Aria laughed at Duran’s questioning look. “So far nothing about Cruz and me has gone according to any plan, Mateo included.”

“But think how bored we’d be if it did,” Cruz said.

They reminded Duran of the early days of his own marriage, when life with Amber seemed almost idyllic—until the day she found out she was pregnant. Her disgust and anger with the realization quickly disillusioned him and he could only be thankful she’d cared enough about him to see the pregnancy through. Cruz was a lucky man in finding a woman who both loved him and welcomed becoming a family, even if it hadn’t been planned.

He stayed talking with them a little longer, until people started moving toward the buffet tables for dinner. The three of them, he, Lia and Noah, ended up together. Lia had hesitated at first and Duran guessed she was trying to spare him new fodder for the gossips, but he knew all three of them would be disappointed if he accepted her silent offer. Instead he mouthed, To hell with it, over Noah’s head, put aside his reservations, and let himself enjoy being with his son and her.

They talked amongst themselves, mostly listening to Noah, until about halfway through dinner, when Noah was absorbed with his hamburger and there was a lull in his chatter. Lia tilted toward Duran and murmured, “Is it me, or have you made Del’s top ten list of least favorite people? She hasn’t stopped glaring at you since we sat down.”

Duran deliberately kept his eyes fixed on her and Noah instead of following Lia’s nod to where Del and Jed sat at the end of the table. “I’m pretty sure I made number one, showing up like I did, although right now, Jed and I are fighting it out for first. Josh and I talked about it, and Jed and Del hadn’t been married that long when Jed cheated on her with Lucy Miller. It’s bad enough Del knows that, but from what Josh says, people in town are looking at him and me and seeing how close we are in age and coming to their own conclusions.”

“Knowing Del, having people whisper behind her back is probably worse than learning Jed cheated on her,” Lia said. She suddenly gave a worried frown. “Has it made things difficult for you, staying at the ranch? I feel bad, pushing you in that direction—”

“Don’t. It’s fine. For the most part, she avoids us, and believe it or not, Jed seems to like Noah.” He laughed when she raised a skeptical brow. “It’s true. He actually smiled once when Noah was telling him how much he liked going riding.”

Lia started to comment, but a disturbance at the end of the table pulled their attention that direction. Del, flushed and looking on the verge of tears, had stood up and was staring at Jed with an expression that clearly said her husband had moved past Duran on her list.

“Sit down and stop your fussin’, woman,” Jed said, not bothering to look back. “You ain’t goin’ anywhere.”

“We’ll just see about that!” Snatching up Jed’s glass, she flung the contents at him, splashing him in the face and chest, then flounced away, ignoring his sputtered curses. Josh, sitting nearby, rolled his eyes, said something quickly to his wife and started after his mother.

Jed half rose to follow, but Cort’s hand on his shoulder stopped him. Cort sat down next to his father, talking to him in lowered tones. Scowling, Jed stayed put and eventually the noise and activity of the party had left most of the crowd oblivious to their family drama.

Shifting to look at each other, Duran could see Lia shared his uncomfortable feeling at being witness to the exchange. She shrugged it off, inviting him to do the same, and as one they focused on Noah and their temporarily forgotten dinner.

Half an hour later, when they’d finished, Sammy came up to them, wanting to show Noah a family of cats living in one of the barns. Cort and Laurel offered to take both boys, along with their three youngest, for a visit. Duran gave in to Noah’s pleading look, but he and Lia followed, far enough behind to give them the illusion of being alone in the deepening shadows of the early evening.

They could still hear the sounds of the party behind them, but softened by the distance, and Lia let go a long breath.

“Long day?” he asked.

“Not really. I’m just glad to be away from that—” she waved over her shoulder “—for a while.” Glancing at him, she gave an apologetic shrug. “I’m not really much of a party person most of the time, at least not on that scale. You must be used to it, though, living in L.A., in the business you’re in.”

Duran laughed. “I make documentaries, not movies, so I’m not exactly on the A-list when it comes to Hollywood parties. Even before I had Noah, I wasn’t much into the party scene. My ex used to say L.A. was wasted on me.”

“This, at least, isn’t that kind of party. Family is different.”

“Well this family is a little overwhelming for me right now,” Duran admitted. “They’ve been great about accepting us, but they’re definitely going to take some getting used to, Jed in particular.”

Focusing on the path before them, a brief smile touched her mouth, a little wistful. “That’s not necessarily a bad thing,” she said quietly, “having so much family. They all want to get to know you and Noah and to help—well, I’m still not so sure about Jed—but your brothers, anyway.”

“Aren’t you close to anyone in your family?”

“Not really. I’ve never had much of a chance to be.” She shifted her shoulders as if she carried a weight that chafed. “I’ve got seven brothers and sisters, but we hardly know each other. Somewhere, I’ve got an older stepbrother that I wouldn’t recognize if we met face-to-face and I don’t even have a circumstance like yours to blame. My father just never bothered introducing us.”

“That seems strange. Why wouldn’t he?”

“Probably because in my father’s mind it didn’t matter. He didn’t care if all of the kids and stepkids bonded and became a family or not. He always focused on the woman he was with. Any children caught in the crossfire were left to their own devices. Neither of my parents ever encouraged any of their children to get to know each other, let alone become close.”

Duran knew what he wanted to say, that people like her parents didn’t deserve to have children, that the emotional scars they inflicted could be as damaging and longer lasting than physical ones. But he didn’t want to put her in a position of feeling required to defend her parents, especially if her heart wasn’t in it.

“I guess that’s why I think it’s good you and Noah have had the chance to know your family,” she mused. “I know what I’ve missed and I hate to see someone else miss out, as well.”

“I didn’t know what I was missing out on until I had to go looking for them. So far it’s worked out. But when it comes to Noah, I can’t afford not to be careful. He’s gotten very attached to a lot of people here already. I just hope it’s not temporary on their part.” He didn’t look at her when he said it, but he could feel her eyes on him.

They were near the corral fence and she stopped, compelling him to face her head-on. “You’re talking about me, aren’t you?”

“Not specifically,” he started, then stopped because he was lying and she knew it. “Okay, yes, I am and we both know why. Like you said before, maybe it’s the circumstances, but you can’t argue that Noah cares a lot about you and you and I…” He tried to find the words to define it and couldn’t. “I don’t know what it is, just that it’s more than either of us expected.”

“And apparently it’s not good,” she said flatly.

“I didn’t say that, but maybe it’s not. You’re the one who told me you were lousy at relationships. Am I supposed to take the chance that doesn’t apply to Noah?”

She flinched as if he’d struck her a blow in a vulnerable spot. “I would never do anything to hurt Noah. And if you believe that, we’re done, not just now, but you need to find yourself a new pediatrician while you’re here.”

“I don’t believe you’d ever do anything deliberately to hurt him,” Duran said, choosing his words carefully. “But I need a guarantee you aren’t going to let him learn to love you and then decide you can’t deal with that or it’s not what you want.”

“For you or for Noah?” Momentarily confused by her snapped question, he didn’t answer right away and she plunged ahead. “This guarantee, is it for you or for Noah? Because I think you’re the one who wants the guarantee, Duran. And you know what? You’re right—I can’t give it to you. So maybe it’s better we end this—whatever it is—right now.”

Spinning away from him, she started back the way they’d come. Duran caught her in two paces, grasping her arm to turn her back to him. “Is that what you want? Because it sure as hell isn’t what I want.”

“No,” she said, so softly he wasn’t sure he’d heard her answer. She looked shaken and he could feel the effort she was making to hold herself stiffly, to keep her control. “But you aren’t the only one who’s afraid of getting hurt. I do care—a lot more than I should—and I don’t even want to think about how I could hurt either of you. I don’t want to think about how you could hurt me, either, when you decide it’s time for you to leave. So, no, it’s not what I want. But maybe it’s the best thing for both of us.”

She pulled herself free from his grip and quickly strode into the darkness, leaving him there alone.

Chapter Eight

Lia watched as the technician injected another needle into Sawyer’s arm. “Only a little more,” Lia told Sawyer. “We’ll send these last samples off to Albuquerque and have the results soon. These are the last steps to making sure you’re a perfect match for Noah. I don’t think there will be any problems, but this is too important not to double-check.”

“All done, just press this cotton ball to that spot for a few minutes,” the technician instructed as she withdrew the needle. She capped the last vial, gathered up her carrying tray and turned to leave, smiling over her shoulder at Lia’s thanks.

When she’d gone, Sawyer rolled down his shirtsleeve and got off the table. “So, did you have fun at the party the other night?”

“Sure, why do you ask?” Lia busied herself thumbing through Sawyer’s chart and making notes.

“I don’t know, it just seemed like there was some tension between you and Duran when you left.”

She looked up at him. “Is Maya’s emotional ESP infectious or what?”

Sawyer laughed. “I hope not. But I have to say, ever since we’ve been married I seem to pick up on people’s moods more and more. She’s like an emotional barometer for anyone who gets within three feet of her. And you know how frighteningly accurate her readings can be.”

“I do know. I admit sometimes I try to keep my distance.”

“I can’t say I blame you. You should try living with her. Talk about feeling like cellophane. She sees right through me before I say a word.”

“Yikes. I don’t think I could handle that.”

“Why’s that? What have you got to hide?”

Lia sighed and thought about the question. She could lie to him and say nothing. Or she could tell him the truth and say just about everything. She didn’t want anyone to know how her childhood, most of her past experiences with relationships for that matter, had been disastrous, leaving her terrified to believe she might actually one day be successful at one.

“That I’m a coward,” she admitted finally.

“Could have fooled me. How, exactly?”

“The other night, at the party—” she began, moving to half sit on the side of the patient table. “Duran hinted at wanting to pursue some kind of relationship with me.” Her sarcasm didn’t go unnoticed. “And I shut him down.”

“Why? He seems like a really good guy. And it’s obvious he’s interested in you.”

“Maybe. And yes, he is a really good guy. Too good, as far as I’m concerned.”

“I think I’m missing something here.”

“He’s done everything right. He had the picture-book childhood, he’s raised Noah and dealt with all his medical crises alone, and he’s a great father. He knows how to love someone.”

“And those are bad things?”

“No, of course not. But frankly that puts his standards for what he expects out of a relationship pretty high and I don’t want to put myself in a position of feeling I can’t measure up.”