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“I want it to be a success, too. I’d be happy to captain a team,” Lindsey said, her fake smile firmly in place.
“Okay, then. How are we going to choose teams?” Elizabeth asked. “We have two representatives from all the resorts and other participants here, so we could do it that way. One from each?”
There was some discussion around the table of the different skills, but soon the teams were established and Carter thought he’d made out pretty well. Most of the owners and executives from the resorts were passionate skiers.
“We’ll need to come up with events. And they should be pretty standard but not risky,” Lindsey said.
“It should be fun, too. We want to bring new people to the sport and make it something the kids will want to do. In fact, maybe we can use our teams as mentors,” Carter suggested.
“That’s a great idea,” Lars said. “I’ll be in charge of the events for our competition. I think we should hold it in February to kick off our announcement for the fall event. Use it to encourage kids to sign up.”
There was agreement around the table. Lars asked each of them to jot down one or two ideas for events for the kickoff to be held in February. A meeting was set for the following week and everyone left the boardroom.
Carter gathered his papers and followed Lindsey down the hall and out onto the patio that led to the ski rental and lesson building.
“Wait up.”
“Sure,” she said, whirling around to face him. “Think of something else you wanted to challenge me on?”
“Not at all. I told you I wasn’t done with you,” he warned.
“I know that. I’m not done with you now, either.”
She wasn’t really angry with him. On the contrary, he could see worry and maybe a little bit of fear on her face. She couldn’t ski, and she’d just been put in charge of a ski team for a major public event.
Crap.
* * *
SHE HADN’T MEANT to talk to Carter. She’d meant to exit the lodge, get into her ski clothing and then... What? She had no real idea. Obviously she couldn’t lead a team down the slopes in February considering that just sledding down a little snow mound took all of her courage.
But she had to. Everything had changed thanks to this guy and his damned argumentative streak. She had a hunch that he’d originally started sparring with her in front of everyone as a sort of payback for the way she’d kicked him out of her place on New Year’s Day, and frankly, she hadn’t blamed him.
But this... She put her arm around her waist.
“Okay, this is serious. I already offered to help you and I’m not going to let this go,” he said.
“Carter, thanks, but you can’t make that fear I feel when I strap on a pair of skis go away. I mean, you seem to be able to charm anyone into doing anything, but this is something I don’t think even you can simply force under your control.”
She dropped her arm as she realized how defensive that might look to him. Then she spun on her heel and started walking again. As she moved across the resort grounds, she paused to look around her. It was the kind of day she used to love. The snow was thick, perfect for a fresh run, and the sky looked clear and endless. This was her favorite sort of winter.
“I know that,” he said, quickly catching up with her. “I’m just saying every time I dare you to do something—”
“It backfires,” she retorted. The bet on a kiss that had started all of this hadn’t spurred her on to greater skiing glory. Or had it? She’d kept her head down and trained harder to prove he didn’t bother her. That his flirting couldn’t shake her. Maybe that was what she needed to do now. Put her head down and pretend he couldn’t affect her.
“I’ve got this.”
“You know,” he said, “it wouldn’t hurt you to admit that you can’t do it all on your own.”
“I don’t need an entourage to remind me— What is it exactly that they do for you?” she asked sweetly.
“Nothing. They are friends, not an entourage. Something that seems foreign to you.” He reached out and gripped her arm. “You have people who care for you, but you are always so afraid to let them in.”
“Let you in,” she said, jerking away. “That’s what you really mean.”
“True. Why is that?”
She stopped walking and looked over at him. He had put on a pair of sunglasses so she couldn’t see his eyes. “You scare me. You make me confused. I don’t really like it.”
“I don’t like it, either, but we are going to have to work together.”
“Why?” she asked.
“I’m the only person who knows you haven’t skied since your surgery, aren’t I?”
She nodded. When she got home she was taking that damned resolutions list off the fridge and adding “no drinking champagne” to it. Maybe if she hadn’t been drinking she wouldn’t have found him as attractive and confessed all sorts of things she should have kept to herself.
“Carter, please. Just let this go. I’ll figure it out and no one will have to know anything,” she said.
“I can’t.”
She sighed in frustration. “Why not?”
“Because you made me your New Year’s resolution and I’m determined to give you a year you won’t forget.”
“I was drunk when I said that,” she said. But despite her annoyance with him, his words made her feel warm like the sunshine on her face. There was more to Carter Shaw than she wanted to admit. Mainly because if she didn’t keep him at arm’s length she might do something foolish, like fall for him.
And it was foolish. Though she hadn’t seen him in person for the past two weeks, she’d seen him online on the gossip websites with a bevy of women at the Thunderbolt Energy Drink Extreme Winter Games as he’d promoted his upcoming professional debut in California. She knew that he was a player.
She had to seem like a novelty to him. And while she got that to him she was different, a challenge of sorts, how long would it take for that to wear off and for him to move on? She wasn’t being down on herself. She had plenty to offer a man, but not one like Carter. His expectations were based on a model of woman and a lifestyle that made hers seem boring.
“You weren’t drunk. If you want to pretend you were, then fine,” he said tersely. “I don’t know why I keep chasing after you.”
She didn’t know, either, and she wasn’t foolish enough to guess. “Thank you. I guess I’ll see you next week at our meeting.”
“Yes, you will.”
She walked away and admitted to herself that she was disappointed he’d let her go. She’d hoped that maybe he’d follow her. But she knew she’d have shut him down if he had.
She got changed in the locker room and, as usual, putting on her ski clothes brought out that little bit of sadness and fear. But she had a class to teach, and letting down her students wasn’t something she’d do.
Her first lesson went well, and instead of just holding her skis, this time she put them on and skied around a little bit while the kids met their parents for lunch. She was going to try to take a run after lunch.
The clock was ticking and she wasn’t about to let anyone else know her secret. It was time she conquered that fear and moved on. Then maybe she could figure out what to do about her attraction to Carter.
10
LINDSEY SURVEYED HER TEAM. She had Bradley Hunt, Lars Usten, Stan Poirier from Thunderbolt and two other executives from other resorts in the area. She had been practicing sledding every day on her little snow mound, as well as getting used to standing at the top of a slope and going down.
But she was nowhere near as ready to take on a downhill race as she’d need to be if her team was going to win. Beating Carter was important to her. She needed it. He had seen her flustered and flawed and she wanted to wow him.
“Okay, team, welcome to our first practice. I thought we’d talk a little about the skills each of you has and then decide how to proceed.”
“I’ll go first,” Lars said. The former world champion still skied every day, and he was in pretty good shape despite a health scare back in November. “I’m probably the biggest liability on the team since my heart attack at Thanksgiving, but I want you all to know I’ve been skiing every day and my runs are getting faster and smoother.”
“I don’t think anyone doubted you, Lars,” she reassured him. “I’ve always been in awe of your control while you’re on skis.”
“Thank you, Lindsey. Coming from you, that’s a compliment I’ll treasure,” he said with a smile.
He reminded her of her grandfather in a lot of ways. Except hers didn’t really like to ski. Lars was the kind of grandfather she would like to have.
“I’m more into sponsoring crazy athletes than actually doing the crazy stuff myself.”
“Sponsoring athletes is what you are good at,” Lindsey said.
“I’ve already sent an email to the committee agreeing to that.” Bradley grinned. “Oh, and by the way, I have a feeling my wife is going to want to compete against me.”
Lindsey rolled her eyes. “That would hardly be fair, since you just started skiing.”
“I know. I think that’s why she keen on it,” Bradley said with a laugh.
Clearing his throat, Stan added, “My wife, Georgina, is better than I am. She might want to go against someone like you, Lars.”
“This is all good to get out in the open, but let’s face it, we have to train to do our best times,” Lindsey informed the group. “Now, I suspect that Carter is going to want to go down on his snowboard, and I think the committee has agreed to let him. Does anyone else snowboard?” Tim and Paul raised their hands. She talked to them briefly, but frankly she didn’t snowboard so couldn’t really “coach” them.
Bradley left to take a call, and during the hour-long practice that followed, Lindsey spent most of her time writing down the times of the others and waiting for them to finish with various business calls. It was obvious this wasn’t going to be like training for an international event.
In addition to practicing, they’d sell tickets to the event, and each member of the team was to fund-raise. The group was breaking up when Bradley returned. Whistling under his breath, he was obviously in a good mood. Lindsey wished she felt the same. She was upset with herself that she hadn’t taken a run. Deep down she wasn’t even sure she could do it, but she knew she was going to have to. Either that or admit to everyone in this microcosm that she wasn’t the skier she used to be.
“Hey, I just got off the phone with a college buddy of mine who is an orthopedic surgeon for the military,” Bradley announced. “He mentioned that some of the vets who’ve been wounded overseas and lost limbs have a winter sports team.” He paused. “I was wondering what your thoughts were about getting them involved. He gave me the number of their team captain.”
“I love this idea,” Lindsey said.
Everyone else agreed, too, so Bradley sent a group email to the other committee members.
“Once we get everyone’s acceptance, maybe you could liaise with him, Lindsey?” Lars asked. “I think we’ve all proved you can take the executive out of his office but you can’t make him stop working.”
She laughed, as she was sure he’d intended. “No problem. I have time between classes to make a few calls.”
“Perfect. Let’s meet back here next week, and if anyone needs any pointers or one-on-one coaching, I’m available.”
The group left, and she walked to her office at the back of the ski rental office aware of the fact that she was a total fraud. She wondered how she was going to get over this. How was she going to make herself ski when it was the last thing she thought she could do?
Right now, sitting in her office, looking up at the mountain, she felt dread and fear. She should just confess and stop trying to be something she used to be.
“Knock, knock,” Carter said from the doorway. “Got a minute?”
Definitely. Her breath hitched as their eyes met and held. She’d rather spar with him than dwell on her own inadequacies. “Sure. Come to tell me that your team isn’t up to snuff? Mine is great.”
“Ha. Mine is pretty good, too. Elizabeth can really ski, and I was surprised that Georgina could, as well. Don’t tell either of them. It’s just that they never talked about skiing.”
“I know what you mean. I’ve got two snowboarders and I’m not really sure how to handle them. But they are pretty good. Not you good, of course, but still, they’ve got some skills.”
“It’s hard to be as good as me,” he said with that big sexy grin of his.
A shiver of awareness skittered down her spine as she gazed into his blue-gray eyes. It had been days since she’d been alone with him, and instead it felt like years. Everything about him turned her on. His disheveled hair, his baggy snowboarding pants, the spicy scent of his aftershave. New Year’s Eve had whetted her appetite, and she wanted more of Carter Shaw. And right now flirting and playing with him felt safe.
* * *
CARTER FOUND IT harder and harder to keep up the casual pretense he’d cultivated around Lindsey. He missed her. He physically ached for her and wanted to do whatever he could to get her back into his bed, but she was setting the limits, and right now that meant taking it slow.
Sitting in the small office and smiling when what he really wanted to do was to pull her into his arms, run his fingers through her long, silky blond hair and kiss her until she was panting. But that wasn’t going to happen. He was pursuing her but didn’t want her to know it. He needed to keep up appearances. And that was exactly what he intended to do.
“It is hard to be as big as your ego,” she said glibly. “I wish I had a tenth of it.”
“What do you need it for?”
“I have to ski at our event in the middle of February, Carter. I haven’t done anything but slide down a mound of snow since I crashed last year in Sochi. What am I going to do?” she asked.
Looking as though she had the weight of the world on her shoulders, she walked around her desk and sat on the edge of it, right in front of him. He saw a hint of vulnerability in her eyes. She needed him. It felt good. Stroked his ego. And she’d probably never let him live it down if he let her know.
“Take a run with me.”
“I don’t even know if I can. You saw me on the snow pile. I was shaking like an idiot up there. If I was on skis—”
“I’ve got an idea,” he said.
“I doubt it would work.”
“My last one did,” he said, bragging just a little, but also making a challenge out of it. He knew how she was. She’d rise to the challenge.
Lindsey sighed impatiently. “Fine. What’s your idea?”
“Just a ride down the mountain in a toboggan.”
“I don’t know.”
“I’ll be with you,” he said gently. “You know, like I was at the snow mound.”
She watched him with wary eyes, and he ached that she had lost her faith in herself. He vowed he’d do whatever he had to do to help her get it back.
“Would we go here at the lodge?” she asked.
“Yes. We could even say we are checking it out for an event for our nonskiers. I’ve got two of them.”
“I didn’t get one. Maybe we can swap one of my snowboarders for your nonskier. It’s always weird to me when people live and work this near the Wasatch Range and they don’t ski.”
“Me, too,” he admitted. “I can see it in Cali because there are so many other sports that people can do, but here? It’s pretty much ski or snowboard. Or, at the very least, ice skate. Speaking of which...you ever try that?”
She shook her head. “I’m not that good at it. Plus, my coach used to like me to focus on my sport.”
“Good idea. My coach said something similar but I did it anyway.”
“Rebel.”
“You know it,” he said.
Lindsey bit her lip, then turned to stare out the window before finally looking back over at him. “I wish I had your courage.”
“You do have it. But in your own way. You are a rebel when you need to be. I’ve seen you when you pass through the gates for the downhill. You look very fierce.”
He had never mentioned it, but the first time he’d noticed Lindsey was after her run. She’d broken the world-record time. He’d been so turned on by her he hadn’t known what to do. She hadn’t been his kind of woman, but then suddenly his body had been, like, hell yeah, she is.
“Thank you, Carter. You know, for an egomaniac, you say some really nice things,” she said, tipping her head to the side to study him.
“I’m not as ego driven as you think I am.”
“Really? You’re not going to convince me.” She checked her watch. “But I can probably take off in about an hour if you want to try the tobogganing idea.”
“Great.” He was shameless where she was concerned, using her love of skiing and her need to be back on her skis as a way to keep him by her side. He wondered if she would still be talking to him after their night together if it wasn’t for the fact that she couldn’t get back on her skis.
It was humbling, and he didn’t like the way it made him feel, so he treated those feelings the way he usually did. He shoved them so far down he could pretend they didn’t exist.
“I’ll go to the concierge and make sure we can get on there and then come back in an hour,” he said. It would probably be a good idea to give her some space so she could miss him.
“Okay. Thanks, Carter,” she said.
“For?”
“Just being a friend.”
Friend. Ugh. He wasn’t about to let her relegate him there. Glancing over his shoulder to make sure no one was nearby, he closed the gap between them and pulled her into his arms. Then he gave her a hot, hard kiss. “We’re more than friends, gorgeous, and don’t you forget it.”
He strode out of her office without looking back, mainly because he didn’t want to seem as if he wanted to know how that kiss had affected her when it had shaken him to his core.
Carter knew he was playing a dangerous game with her. That he wanted something from her that she might give him, but he was trying to keep her from even knowing he wanted. He shook his head and thought of what a sap he was. He wanted to be more than friends and more than lovers, but had never in his life been successful at making any kind of relationship work.
Even his coaches had been short-term before they’d thrown their hands up and walked away. He just wasn’t good at making things last. Usually that didn’t bother him, but the thought of being short-term in Lindsey’s life simply wasn’t acceptable.
* * *
CARTER SENT HER a text telling her he’d meet her at the top of the toboggan run just after lunch. She had one more call to make, to the staff sergeant from Marietta, Montana, that Bradley had told her about.
Lane Scott was one of the men who had been part of the paraplegic ski squad. She’d heard he had recovered and was now running his family’s ranch with his brothers.
“Hello, ma’am,” he said, his voice deep and strong.
“Good afternoon, sir. I’m Lindsey Collins, the ski pro at the Lars Usten Resort in Park City, Utah.”
“The same Lindsey Collins who broke two world records?” he asked.
No, she thought, not anymore. But she couldn’t say that to him. “Yes, I am. I’m calling today because the resorts in Park City are participating in a charity event to get more kids out on the slopes, especially those who can’t afford it. We’re doing a kickoff event in mid-February and we were hoping some of you military guys might want to join us in the exhibition event.”
“Mid-February? I think I can make it. It’s not like I have to be in Marietta on Valentine’s Day,” he said good-naturedly. “What kind of event is it?”
“Well, I’m captaining one team and snowboarder Carter Shaw is the captain of the other one. We have local celebs and executives from the different resorts on our teams and we are each raising money for the fall event as well as getting some press for it.”
“Sounds interesting. Where do my men and I fit in?”
She took a breath. “Well, your team was brought up because we know there are some kids in your situation that might not be aware they can still participate in sports. No offense. I hope you understand how I meant that...” She was feeling flustered because she wasn’t sure if she’d phrased her comments right.
He chuckled. “I get it. A lot of people see losing a limb or two as the end of their outdoor life. I’d love to participate, and I think I can get one or two others to do it, as well. If it’s okay with you, we’ll just be a part of your two established teams. No need for us to be singled out.”
“That sounds great. I’ll text you my email address. Just send me your details and I’ll get you all set up with the committee so you can be up-to-date on the plans. They’ll assign you to a team.”
“I hope I get to ski with you,” Lane said.
“Me, too. I’ll put in a good word. Thanks, Lane.”
“Thank you for thinking of us,” he said.
Lindsey hung up the phone and was moved by the fact that Lane and his buddies hadn’t let an injury slow them down. She was going to use their courage to motivate herself. And in all honesty, she was fine. So why was she struggling so hard to get back on the snow?
Once Lane’s information came through, she forwarded it to the committee and then headed out to meet Carter. As she walked up the trail to the toboggan course, she put on her sunglasses and applied the lip balm of the company that used to sponsor her.
In the summer the lodge used the course, as well. It was one of the many year-round attractions that made Park City so perfect for families. But today she wasn’t thinking about the fact that she had a job. Today she was thinking about her flaws. Her own shortcomings, and why other people had been able to get back on the snow and she hadn’t. Her coach had sent one of his newest talents to meet with her over the Christmas break, and she suspected he’d meant it to motivate her, but all it had done was make it even harder for her to get back out there.
She wasn’t young and untried. She had broken two world records and still held one of them. But she was afraid that was all in her past. It was hard to stare at your life when you were almost thirty and think that the best may have already happened. She’d always looked to each New Year as a chance to do better, to achieve more.
She saw Carter chatting with Nate Pearson, one of the guys who ran the toboggan course. Nate had been on one of the US teams at the winter games last year, so it wasn’t surprising that he knew Carter.
“Hey, Lindsey,” Nate said, smirking. “Couldn’t believe it when this player said you were meeting him.”
Lindsey rolled her eyes. Well, what could she say in her defense? Carter was a player. That was why she was struggling so hard to make sure that she didn’t attach too much importance to their one night together. Maybe if she was able to keep it to just that one night it might be okay. They could flirt and tease each other outside the bedroom and she could pretend that nothing had changed between them. Even though she knew that everything had.
“You’re preaching to the choir, Nate. I know better than to get serious with a guy like Carter.”
“I’m standing right here, you know,” Carter said.
She winked at him. “I guess you are sort of charming and cute. That’s why all the girls like you.”
“We can’t all be the Ice Queen,” he muttered under his breath. “So are you ready for this?”
“Let me get you guys set up,” Nate said.
He walked away, leaving them alone for a minute, and Lindsey noticed that Carter looked a bit ticked off.
“You okay?”
“Yes,” he said after a long silence. “I just don’t like you thinking of me as a player. That’s not what I am with you.”
She smiled, because he sounded so sincere. “I don’t believe it’s something you get to choose. You are just naturally the kind of man that all women are drawn to.”
“Even you?” he asked.
Especially her. “Of course.”
11
CARTER CHECKED INTO one of the residences at the resort that was away from the main building but still close enough that he could drop in when he needed to. It had been five days since he’d seen Lindsey and gone tobogganing with her. He’d contemplated buying a condo in Lindsey’s development. It would have been an investment, and he did like having his own place to stay. But he had opted not to. He didn’t want to push her too much. He’d been flying back and forth between professional engagements, his home in California and Park City.