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‘I wanted to tell you in person,’ Myles said. ‘I’m sorry if I’ve hurt you, Jaz. But I’ve had my doubts about us for a while now. I guess that’s why I instigated the break. It was only when I caught up with Sally I realised why I was baulking. As soon as we started talking, I realised she was the one. We dated when we were younger. She was my first girlfriend and I was her first boyfriend. It’s like it’s meant to be. I hope you can understand and find it in yourself to forgive me for messing you around.’
‘I don’t know what to say...’ Jaz said. ‘Congratulations?’
Myles looked a little pained. ‘I want you to be happy. I really do. You’re a great girl. I care about you. That’s why I’m so concerned about your involvement with Jake Ravensdale. I don’t want him to break your heart.’
Jaz stretched her lips into a rictus smile. ‘I’m a big girl. I can handle Jake.’
Myles looked doubtful. ‘Sally and I aren’t making a formal announcement for a week or two. We thought it would be more appropriate to wait for a bit. I just wanted you to be one of the first to know.’
‘Thanks for dropping by,’ Jaz said. ‘I appreciate it. Now, I’m sure you have heaps to do. I won’t keep you. Say hi to Sally for me. Tell her if she wants a good deal on a wedding dress I’m the person she needs to see.’
‘No hard feelings?’ Myles said.
‘No hard feelings,’ Jaz said, and was surprised and more than a little shocked to find it was true.
* * *
Myles had not long disappeared around the corner when Jake’s sports car prowled to the kerb. Jaz watched as he unfolded himself from behind the wheel with athletic grace. He was wearing dark-blue jeans and a round-neck white T-shirt with a charcoal-grey cashmere sweater over the top. His hair was still damp from a recent shower as she could see the deep grooves where either his fingers or a wide-toothed comb had been. His jaw was freshly shaven and as he came up to where she was standing on the doorstep she could smell the clean, sharp citrus tang of his aftershave.
Funny, but she hadn’t even noticed what Myles had been wearing, the scent of his aftershave or even if he had been wearing any.
‘Am I late?’ Jake asked with the hint of a frown between his brows.
‘No,’ Jaz said. ‘Perfect timing.’
He leaned down to press a light-as-air kiss to her mouth. ‘That’s for the neighbours.’ Then he put his arms around her and pulled her close. ‘And this one’s for me.’
Jaz closed her eyes as his lips met hers in a drugging kiss that made her toes curl in her shoes. His tongue mated with hers in a sexy tangle that mimicked the driving need rushing through her body, and his, if the hard ridge of his erection was any indication.
Her hands went around his waist and her pelvis jammed against the temptation of his, her heart skipping all over the place as he made a deep, growly sound of male pleasure as she gave herself up to the kiss. His hands pressed against her bottom to pull her closer, his touch so intimate, so possessive, she could feel her body preparing itself for him. The ache of need pulsed between her legs, her thighs tingling with nerves activated by the anticipation of pleasure.
Only the fact they were on a busy public street was enough to break the spell as a car went past tooting its horn.
Jake released her with a teasing smile. ‘Nice to know you’ve missed me.’
Jaz gave a dismissive shrug. ‘You’re a good kisser. But then, you’ve had plenty of practice.’
‘Ah, but there are kisses and there are kisses. And yours, baby girl, are right up there.’
Don’t fall for his charm. Don’t fall for him, she thought as she followed him to the car.
The drive to Gloucester took just over two hours but the time passed easily with Jake’s superb driving and easy conversation. He told her about Bruce Parnell, who was so impressed with Jake’s choice of fiancée he had recommended several other big-name clients. ‘It’s the sort of windfall I’d been hanging out for,’ he said. ‘Word travels fast in the corporate sector.’
‘What are you going to say to him when we’re no longer a couple?’
He didn’t answer for a moment and when he flashed her a quick smile she noticed it didn’t quite make the distance to his eyes. ‘I’ll think of something.’
It was only as Jaz entered the hotel where the wedding expo was being held that she remembered she had only booked one room. It would look suspicious if she asked for another room or even a twin. She and Jake were supposed to be engaged. Everyone would automatically assume they would share a suite. People had already taken out their camera phones and taken snapshots as they came in. She would look a fool if she asked for separate rooms. What woman in her right mind would pass on the chance to spend the night with Jake Ravensdale? Herself included.
Hadn’t she always wanted him? It had been there ever since she’d been old enough to understand sexual attraction. It had gone from a teenage crush to a full-blown adult attraction. It simmered in the air when they were together. How long could she ignore it or pretend it wasn’t there? Hadn’t she already betrayed herself by responding so enthusiastically to his kiss? Had her overlooking of the hotel reservation been her subconscious telling her what she didn’t want to face?
As if Jake sensed her dilemma he leaned down close to her ear and whispered, ‘I’ll sleep on the sofa.’
Jaz was so distracted by the sensation of his warm breath tickling the sensitive skin around her ear she didn’t hear the attendant call her to the counter. Jake put a gentle hand at her back and pressed her forward. She painted a smile on her face and said, ‘I have a booking for Connolly.’
‘Welcome, Miss Connolly,’ the attendant said. ‘We have your king deluxe suite all ready for you.’
King deluxe. At least there would be enough room in the bed to put a bank of pillows up as a barricade, Jaz thought as she took the swipe key.
The hotel was going to town on the wedding theme. The suite, on the thirteenth floor, was decked out like a honeymoon suite. French champagne was sitting chilled and frosted in a silver ice bucket with a white satin ribbon tied in a big bow around it. There were two crystal champagne flutes and a cheese-and-fruit plate with chocolate-dipped strawberries on the table. The bed was covered in fresh rose petals and there were heart-shaped chocolates placed on the pillows.
‘Hmm,’ Jake said, rubbing thoughtfully at his chin. ‘No sofa.’
Something in Jaz’s belly slipped like a Bentley on black ice. There were two gorgeous wing chairs in the bay window, and a plush velvet-covered love seat, but no sofa. ‘Right; well, then, we’ll have to use pillows,’ she said.
‘Pillows?’
‘As a barricade.’
He gave a soft laugh. ‘Your virtue is safe, sweetheart. I won’t touch you.’
Jaz rolled her lips together. Shifted her weight from foot to foot. Knotted her hands in front of her body where they were clutching her tote bag straps. Of course she didn’t want to sleep with him. He was her enemy. She didn’t even like him... Well, maybe a little. More like a lot. Why the heck didn’t he want to sleep with her? She hadn’t cracked any mirrors lately. She might not be his usual type but she was female and breathing, wasn’t she? Why was he being so fussy all of a sudden? He’d kissed her and she’d felt his reaction to her. He wanted her. She knew it as surely as she knew he was standing there. ‘What?’ she said. ‘You don’t find me attractive?’
He frowned. ‘Listen, a kiss or two or three is fine, but doing the deed? Not going to happen. Not us.’
‘Why not us?’
‘You’re not my type.’
Jaz bristled. ‘I was your type when you kissed me outside my flat. Half of flipping Mayfair was witness to it.’
His frown carved a little deeper. ‘You’re not serious about taking this to that extreme, are you? This is supposed to be an act. When actors do a love scene they don’t actually have sex, you know.’
She moved to the other side of the room to stand in front of the window, folding her arms across her body. ‘Fine. I get the message. I’d better tape up all the mirrors. The last thing I need is another seven years of bad luck.’
Jake came up behind her, placed his hands on the tops of her shoulders and gently turned her to face him. He searched her face for endless seconds. ‘What about Myles?’
Jaz pressed her lips together and lowered her gaze. ‘He’s engaged to someone else.’
‘God, that was quick.’
‘He’s known her since childhood. I’m happy for him. I really am. It’s just I can’t bear the thought of everyone knowing I’ve been dumped,’ she said. ‘Especially this weekend.’
His fingers massaged her shoulders. ‘What’s so important about this weekend?’
Jaz rolled her eyes. ‘Duh! Look around you, Jake. This is a winter wedding expo. One of my designs is in the fashion parade tomorrow. Next year I want ten. This is my chance to expand my business. To network and get my name out there.’
‘But your personal life should have nothing to do with your talent as a designer.’
‘Yes, but you told me on the way down how Mr Parnell looks at you differently now you’re—’ she put her fingers up in air-quotation marks ‘—“engaged”. It’s the same for me. I design wedding gowns for everyone else but I’m totally rubbish at relationships. What sort of advertising for my brand is that?’
He drew in a breath and dropped his hands from her shoulders, using one hand to push through his hair. ‘So...what do you want me to do?’
‘Just play along a little longer,’ she said. ‘I know it’s probably killing you but please can you do this one thing for me? Just pretend to be my fiancé until...well, a few more days.’
His brow was furrowed as deep as a trench. ‘How many days?’
Jaz blew out an exasperated breath. ‘Is it such torture to be tied to me for a week or two? Is it? Am I so hideous you can’t bear the thought of people thinking you’ve sunk so low as to do it with—?’
Jake’s hands came back to hold her by the upper arms. ‘Stop it. Stop berating yourself like that.’
She looked into his midnight-blue gaze, trying to control her spiralling emotions that were like a twisted knot inside her stomach. ‘Do you know what it’s like to be the one no one wants?’ she said. ‘No, of course you don’t, because everyone wants you. Even my mother didn’t want me. She made that perfectly clear by dumping me on my dad. Not that he wanted me either.’
‘Your dad loves you,’ Jake said.
Jaz gave him a jaded look. ‘Then why did he let me move into the big house instead of staying with him at the gardener’s cottage? He was relieved when your parents offered to take me in and pay for my education. He didn’t know what to do with an eight-year-old kid. I was an inconvenience he couldn’t wait to pass off.’
Jake’s expression was clenched so tightly in a frown his eyebrows met over his eyes. ‘Did he actually say that to you?’
‘He didn’t need to,’ she said on an expelled breath. ‘I’m the one no one wants. It should be tattooed across my forehead—Unwanted.’
Jake’s hands tightened on her arms. ‘That’s not true. I want you. I’ve wanted you for years.’
Jaz moistened her tombstone-dry lips. ‘You do? You’re not just saying that to make me feel better?’
He brought her close against his body. ‘Do you think I could fake that?’
She felt the thickened ridge of him swelling against her body. ‘Oh...’
‘I’ve always kept my distance because I don’t want the same things you want,’ he said. ‘I’m not interested in marriage—it’s not my gig at all. But a fling is something else. I don’t even do those normally. My longest relationship was four days when I was nineteen.’
She pulled at her lower lip with her teeth. ‘So you’d agree to a fling with me? Just for a week or two?’
He brushed his thumb over her savaged lip. ‘As long as you’re absolutely clear on the terms. I’m not going to be that guy waiting at the altar of a church aisle for the bride to show up. I’m the guy working his way through the bridesmaids.’
‘I happen to be one of the bridesmaids,’ Jaz said. ‘At two weddings.’
He gave her a sinful smile as his mouth came down to hers. ‘Perfect.’
It was a smouldering kiss with an erotic promise that made Jaz’s body quake and shudder with want. Every time his tongue touched hers a dart of lust speared her between the legs. Her body wanted him with a desperation she had never felt with such intensity before. It moved through her flesh in tingling waves, making her aware of her erogenous zones as if it was the first time they had been activated. Her breasts were pressed up against his chest, her nipples already puckered from the friction of his hard body. Her hands fisted in his sweater, holding him in case he changed his mind and pulled back.
His mouth continued its passionate exploration of hers, his tongue making love with hers until she was making whimpering sounds of encouragement and delight.
His light stubble grazed her face as he changed position, his hands splaying through her hair as he held her in an achingly tender embrace. He lifted his mouth off hers, resting his forehead against hers. ‘Let’s not rush this,’ he said.
‘I thought you lived in the fast lane?’ Jaz said, tracing his top lip with her fingertip.
His expression was gravely serious as he caught her hand and held it in the warmth of his against his chest. ‘You deserve more than a quick tumble, Jaz. Way more.’
She looked into the sapphire density of his gaze and felt a fracture form in the carapace around her heart like a fissure running through a glacier. ‘Are you worried about what happened in the past? Then don’t be. I’m fine with sex. I’ve had it heaps of times.’
‘But do you enjoy it?’
‘Of course I do,’ she said then added when he gave her a probing look, ‘Well, mostly.’
He threaded his fingers through her hair like a parent finger-combing a child’s hair. ‘Are you sure you want to go through with this? It’s fine if you’ve changed your mind. No man’s ever died from having an erection, you know.’
Jaz couldn’t help smiling. ‘Perhaps not, but I think I might if you don’t finish what you started.’
He brought his mouth back down to hers, giving her a lingering kiss that was hot, sexy, sweet and tender at the same time. His hands gently moved over her, skimming her breasts at first before coming back to explore them in exquisite detail. He peeled away her top but left her bra in place, allowing her time to get used to being naked with him. He kissed his way down the slope of her breast, drawing on her nipple through the lace of her bra, which added a whole new dimension of feeling. Then, when he had removed his sweater and shirt, he unhooked her bra and gently cradled her breasts in his hands.
Jaz wasn’t generously endowed but the way he held her made her feel as if she could be on a high street billboard advertising lingerie. His thumbs brushed over each of her nipples and the sensitive area surrounding them. He lowered his mouth to her puckered flesh and subjected her to the most delicious assault on her senses. The nerves beneath her skin went into a frenzy of excitement, her blood thrumming with the escalation of her desire.
She ran her hands over his muscled chest, delighting in the lean, hard contours of his body. He hadn’t followed the trend of being completely hairless. The masculine roughness of his light chest hair tickled her fingers and then her satin-smooth breasts as he drew her closer. It made her feel more feminine than she had ever felt before.
His hands settled on her hips, holding her against his erection, letting her get the feel of him; not rushing her, not pressuring her. Just holding her. But Jaz’s body had urgent needs it wanted assuaged and she moved against him in a silent plea for satiation. She had rarely taken the initiative with a partner before. But with Jake she wanted to express her desire for him, to let him know her body ached to be joined to his.
Jaz went for the waistband of his jeans, unsnapping the metal stud and then sliding down his zip. He sucked in air but let her take control. She traced her fingertips over the tented fabric of his underwear, her belly doing a cartwheel when she thought of how potent he was, of how gorgeously turned on he was for her, yet controlling it to make her feel safe. She peeled back his underwear, stroking him skin to skin, flicking her gaze up to his to see how he was reacting to her touch. ‘You like that?’
‘This is getting a little one sided,’ he said, pushing her hand away. ‘Ladies come first according to my rules.’
‘I think I like your rules,’ Jaz said as he carried her to the bed as if she weighed no more than one of the feather pillows.
He placed her down amongst the scented rose petals and then, shucking off his jeans but leaving his underwear in place, he joined her. He helped her out of her trousers but left her knickers on. Not that they hid much from his view. Had that been another subconscious thing on her part, to wear her sexiest underwear?
He traced the seam of her body through the gossamer-sheer lace. ‘Do you have any idea of how long I’ve wanted to do this?’
Jaz shivered as his touch triggered her most secret nerves into a leaping dance of expectation. ‘Me too,’ she said but it was more a gasp of sound as he brought his mouth to her and pressed a kiss to her abdomen just above the line of her knickers.
He slowly peeled the lace down to reveal her womanhood. For once she didn’t feel that twinge of shame at being naked and exposed in front of a man. It was like he was worshiping her body, treating it with the utmost respect with every stroke and glide of his hands.
He put his mouth to her, separating her folds so he could pleasure the most sensitive part of all. She had never been entirely comfortable with being pleasured this way. Occasionally she had been tipsy enough to get through it. But this time she didn’t need the buffer of alcohol. Nor did she need to pretend. The sensations took her by surprise, every nerve pulling tight before exploding in a cascade of sparks that rippled through her body in pulsating waves.
When it was over she let out a breath of pure bliss. ‘Wow. I think that might’ve measured on the Richter scale.’
He stroked a hand down the flank of her thigh in a smooth-as-silk caress. ‘Want to try for a ten?’
Jaz reached for him, surrounding his taut thickness with her fingers. ‘I’d like to see you have some fun first, in the interests of being fair and all.’
He smiled a glinting smile. ‘I can’t argue with that.’
He reached across her to where he’d left his wallet when he’d removed his jeans and took out a condom, dealing with the business of applying it before he came back to her. He moved over her so she was settled in the cradle of his thighs, one of his legs hitched over her hip so she wasn’t taking his whole weight. ‘Not too heavy for you?’ he said. ‘Or would you like to go on top?’
Jaz welcomed the press of his body against hers, the sexy tangle of their limbs sending a frisson of anticipation through her female flesh. ‘No, I like it like this. I don’t like feeling like I’m riding a horse.’
He gave a deep chuckle. ‘I wouldn’t throw you off.’
No, but you’ll cast me off when you’re ready to move on. Jaz pushed the thought aside and ran her hands up his body from his pelvis to his chest and back again. This was for now. A fling she’d wanted since she was a teenager. This was her chance to have what she had always wanted from him: his sole attention, his searing touch, his mind-blowing caresses, and his gorgeously hot body. She knew and understood the rules. There were no promises being made. There was no hope of ‘happy ever after’. It was a mutual lust fest to settle the ache of longing that had started so long ago and had never been sated. It was a way—she rationalised it—to rewrite that night seven years ago. This was what she had wanted from Jake way back then—not to be pawed over by some drunk but to be treated with respect, to be pleasured as well as give it. This was the healing she needed to move on with her life, to reclaim her self-respect and her sexual confidence. ‘I want you,’ she said. ‘I don’t think I’ve ever wanted to have sex more than right now.’
He brushed a wayward strand of hair off her face, his dark gaze lustrous with desire. ‘I’m pretty turned on myself.’
She stroked him again, watching as his breathing rate increased with every glide of her hand. ‘So I can tell.’
He moved her hand so he could access her body, taking his time to caress her until she was swollen and wet. Her need for him was a consuming ache that intensified with every movement of his fingers. She writhed beneath him, restless to feel the ultimate fulfilment, wanting him to possess her so they both experienced the rapture of physical union.
Finally he entered her, but only a short distance, holding back, allowing her to get used to him. His tenderness made her feel strangely emotional. She couldn’t imagine him being so tender with his other lovers. She knew it didn’t necessarily mean he was falling in love with her. She wasn’t that naïve. But it made her feel special all the same. Wasn’t this how her teenaged self had imagined it would be? Jake being so tender and thoughtful as he made beautiful, magical love to her?
He thrust a little deeper, his low, deep groan of pleasure making her skin come up in a spray of goose bumps. He began to move, setting a slow rhythm that sent her senses reeling with delight. Each movement of his body within hers caused a delicious friction that triggered all her nerve endings, making them tingle with feeling. She lifted her hips to meet each downward thrust, aching for the release that was just out of reach. Her body was searching for it, every muscle contracting, straining, swelling and quivering with the need to fly free.
He slipped his hand down between their rocking bodies, giving her that little bit of extra coaxing that sent her flying into blessed oblivion. Her body shook with the power of it as each ripple turned into an earthquake. It was like her body had split into thousands of tiny pieces, each one spinning off into the stratosphere. She lost all sense of thought. Her mind had switched off and allowed her body free rein.
He didn’t take his own pleasure until hers was over. She held him to her as his whole body tensed before he finally let go, but he did so without any increase in pace, without sound. Had he done that for her sake? Held back? Restrained his response so she hadn’t felt overwhelmed or threatened? He hadn’t rushed to the end. He hadn’t breathed heavily or gripped her too hard, as if he had forgotten she was there.
He didn’t roll away but continued to hold her as if he was reluctant to break the intimate union of their bodies.
Or was she deluding herself?
Had he been disappointed? Had she not measured up to his other lovers? She was hardly in the same league. She might have had multiple partners but still nowhere near the number he’d had. Compared to him, she was practically a novice.
One of his hands glided up and down the length of her forearm in a soft caress that made her skin tingle as if champagne bubbles were moving through her blood. ‘You were amazing,’ he said.
Jaz couldn’t ignore the doubts that were winding their way through her mind like a rampant vine. Hadn’t she been exciting enough for him? Hadn’t her body delighted his the way his had delighted hers? Was that why his response had been so toned down? Maybe he hadn’t toned it down. Maybe she hadn’t quite ‘done it’ for him. The chemistry he had talked about hadn’t delivered on its promise.
It was her fault. Of course it was. Wasn’t that why she had been engaged three times and summarily dumped?
She was rubbish at sex.
Jaz eased out of his embrace, reached for one of the hotel bathrobes and slipped it on, tying the waist ties securely. ‘You don’t have to lie to me, Jake,’ she said. ‘I know I’m not crash-hot in bed. There’s no point pretending I am.’
He frowned as if she was speaking Swahili instead of English. ‘Why on earth do you think that?’