Healing Your Emotions: Discover your five element type and change your life
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Thorsons
An imprint of HarperCollinsPublishers Ltd.
1 London Bridge Street
London SE1 9GF
www.harpercollins.co.uk
First published by Thorsons 1999
Copyright © Angela Hicks and John Hicks 1999
Angela Hicks and John Hicks asserts the moral right to be identified as the authors of this work
A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library
Text illustrations by Su Eaton
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Source ISBN: 9780007326402
Ebook Edition © JANUARY 2017 ISBN: 9780007483266
Version: 2017-08-14
Contents
Cover
Title Page
Copyright
Author’s Note
Introduction
Chapter 1. THE FIVE ELEMENTS, CONSTITUTIONAL TYPES AND THE EMOTIONS
Chinese medicine and disease
The Five Element ‘types’
What are the Five Elements?
How do the Five Element associations connect?
How did the Chinese use the Five Element theory?
A short history of Five Element types
Finding our Five Element type
Finding the underlying cause
The Organs and the Five Elements
How did our Elemental imbalance originate?
Our Elemental imbalance and our emotions in our early life
The Organs and the emotions
Core motivators – each person has a BIG one
What are the positive emotional capacities of each Element?
What emotional experiences does a constitutionally weak Element lead to?
What has being healthy got to do with our constitutional imbalance?
Is a type always based in weakness?
What is an emotion?
How do we know someone is angry?
What is the difference between feeling angry and being an angry person?
How do emotions cause disease?
So, again, what is an emotion?
The rest of the book
How to discover your type
I Relate to Many of the Elements as I Read This Book. What Should I Do?
Help, I Can’t Decide Between Two Types
I Think I Know my Type but I’d Also Like to Do Some of the Exercises for the Other Types
Chapter 2. THE WOOD TYPE – ASSERTING OURSELVES
Delia is a Wood type
The Wood Element in nature
The background to Wood in Chinese medicine
Introduction
The Organs of the Wood Element
The Liver and Gall Bladder and its Mental-Spiritual Aspect
Our Smoothly Flowing Qi
Storing the Blood
These symptoms may arise when the Liver and Gall Bladder are weak or obstructed
Observable Signs of a Wood Type
Posture, Gestures and Facial Expression
The emotional capacity of the Wood element
Rules, Structures and Boundaries
Flexible Boundaries and Assertiveness
Emotions we experience when the ability is impaired
Frustration and Anger
Some research about anger
Ambivalence and Indecision
Excessive anger and our health
Recognizing the Emotion of a Wood Type in Everyday Life
Big Issues and unanswered questions for the Wood type
How would you know your friend is a Wood type?
Responses to the Big Issues
Organizing, Structuring and Getting Things Right
Rebelling Against the Rules
Seeking Justice
Indirectness
Not Planning or Wanting Anything
Virtues and vices of a Wood type
A famous Wood type – Christabel Pankhurst
Some golden rules for Wood types
Chapter 3. EXERCISES FOR WOOD TYPES
Introduction
Using the exercises
The exercises for Wood types
Exercise 1 – Focusing
Exercise 2 – The other’s point of view
Exercise 3 – The objective point of view
Exercise 4 – Finding what I really want
Exercise 5 – Forgiveness
Exercise 5a – Protecting ourselves
Exercise 5b – Understanding the other person
Exercise 5c – Enacting forgiveness
Exercise 6 – Beating cushions
Qigong exercise for the Liver
Chapter 4. THE FIRE TYPE – LOVING OURSELVES
Nadine is a Fire type
The Fire element in nature
The background to Fire in Chinese Medicine
Introduction
The Organs of the Fire Element
The Heart and the Heart Protector
The Mental-Spiritual aspect of the Heart
The Small Intestines and Triple Burner
These symptoms may arise when the Heart and Pericardium are weak or obstructed
Observable Signs of a Fire Type
Postures, Gestures and Facial Expression
The emotional capacity of the Fire Element
A Fire Type and Relationships
Becoming Close to Others
Opening up our Heart Protectors
Emotions we experience when the ability is impaired
Feeling Miserable and Vulnerable
The importance of our emotional ties
Fluctuating Emotions
Feeling Muddled
The benefits of happiness and laughter
Recognizing the Emotion of a Fire Type in Everyday Life
Big Issues and unanswered questions for the Fire type
How would you know your friend is a Fire type?
Responses to the Big Issues
Being Cheerful
Clowning and Performing
Opening up Inappropriately
Becoming Isolated
Closely Relating
Virtues and vices of a Fire type
A famous Fire type – Marilyn Monroe
Golden rules for Fire types
Chapter 5. EXERCISES FOR FIRE TYPES
Introduction
Using the exercises
The exercises for Fire types
Exercise 1 – Discovering you are lovable
Exercise 2 – Building relationships with the people in your life
Exercise 3 – Entering an intimate relationship
Exercise 4 – In a relationship, ask for what you want!
Exercise 5 – Resolving our feelings of shame
Exercise 6 – Taking pleasure from the world
Exercise 7 – Releasing sad feelings
Exercise 8 – The inner smile
Qigong exercise for the Heart
Chapter 6. THE EARTH TYPE – NOURISHING OURSELVES
Martine is an Earth type
The Earth Element in nature
The background to Earth in Chinese medicine
Introduction
The Organs of the Earth Element
The Stomach
The Spleen
The Mental-Spiritual Aspect of Earth
These symptoms may arise when the Stomach and Spleen are weak or obstructed
Observable signs of an Earth type
Posture, Gestures and Facial Expression
The emotional capacity of the Earth Element
Taking in Support and Nourishment
Giving Support and Nourishment
Emotions we experience when the ability is impaired
Cravings for Support, Sympathy and Understanding
The power of emotional support
Struggling to Assimilate
Empathy in our early life
Worry and Over-Thinking
Assessing the Earth type’s sympathy
Big Issues and unanswered questions for the Earth type
How would you know your friend is an Earth type?
Responses to the Big Issues
Mothering and Caring
Not Asking but Expecting
Expressing Needs a Lot
Searching for a Centre
Homemaking
Virtues and vices of an Earth type
A famous Earth type – Diana, Princess of Wales
Golden rules for Earth types
Chapter 7. EXERCISES FOR EARTH TYPES
Introduction
Using the exercises
The exercises for Earth types
Exercise 1 – Points of view – objective, other and self
Exercise 1a – The objective point of view
Exercise 1b – Experiencing another person’s point of view
Exercise 1c – My own point of view
Exercise 2 – Creating a balanced point of view
Exercise 3 – The people I care for
Exercise 4 – Dissolving your worries
Qigong exercises for earth types
Qigong exercise for reaching heaven and earth
Qigong exercise for grounding ourselves
Chapter 8. THE METAL TYPE – RESPECTING OURSELVES
Joan is a Metal type
The Metal Element in nature
The background to Metal in Chinese medicine
Introduction
The Lung
The Lung and Defensive Qi
The Mental-Spiritual Aspect of the Lungs
The Large Intestine
These symptoms may arise when the Lungs and Large Intestine are weak or obstructed
Observable Signs of a Metal Type
Posture, Gestures and Facial Expression
The Emotional Capacity of the Metal Element
Qi and Heaven
Receiving Richness and Quality
Receiving Acknowledgement and Recognition
Emotions we experience when the ability is impaired
Bereft, Grief-Stricken, Incomplete or Inadequate
Bereavement and our immune system
Not Recognized or Misunderstood
Loss and diabetes
Recognizing the Emotion of a Metal Type in Everyday Life
Big Issues and unanswered questions for the Metal type
How would you know that your friend is a Metal type?
Responses to the Big Issues
Distancing and Protecting
Doing Well and Doing More
Resignation and Cynicism
Seeking Quality
Relating to the Father
Virtues and vices of a Metal type
A famous Metal type – Richard Feynman
Golden rules for Metal types
Chapter 9. EXERCISES FOR METAL TYPES
Introduction
Using the exercises
The exercises for Metal types
Exercise 1 – Giving gifts
Exercise 2 – Receiving gifts
Exercise 3 – Educating others
Exercise 4 – Checking out my standards
Exercise 5 – Dealing with loss
Qigong exercise for moving energy through the chest
Qigong exercise for breathing fully
Chapter 10. THE WATER TYPE – REASSURING OURSELVES
Frank is a Water type
The Water Element in nature
The background to Water in Chinese medicine
Introduction
The Kidneys
The Mental-Spiritual aspect of Water
The Bladder
These symptoms may arise when the Kidneys and Bladder are weak or obstructed
Observable Signs of a Water Type
Posture, Gestures and Facial Expression
The emotional capacity of the Water Element
Assessing Risks
Protecting Ourselves Appropriately
Emotions we experience when the ability is impaired
Anxiety and Panic
Reassurance and recovery
Paralysis
Fear, Apprehension and Dread
Fear and our health
Phobias
Recognizing the Emotion of a Water Type in Everyday Life
Big Issues and unanswered questions for the Water type
How would you know that your friend is a Water type?
Responses to the Big Issues
Taking Risks
Anticipating Risks
Questioning
Fearing the Worst
Reassuring Others
Virtues and vices of a Water type
A famous Water type – President John F Kennedy
Golden rules for Water types
Chapter 11. EXERCISES FOR WATER TYPES
Introduction
Using the exercises
The exercises for Water types
Exercise 1 – Dissociating from our fears
Exercise 2 – Transforming our fear
Exercise 3 – Reclaiming our lost sensations of fear
Exercise 4 – Reassuring ourselves
Exercise 5 – Dealing with one-off fears and phobias
Qigong Dragon swimming exercise
Qigong exercise – the hula hoop
Chapter 12. THE FIVE TYPES – WHICH TYPE AM I?
Introduction
Using the questionnaire
If all else fails
Questionnaire
Appendix – Five Element type and acupuncture
Notes
Bibliography
Useful addresses
About the Authors
About the Publisher
AUTHORS’ NOTE
We have capitalized all Chinese medical terminology in this book in order to differentiate it from standard English terms.
Our thanks to all of the people who have helped us with this book, especially:
Mark Allan; Marguerite Beckerlegge; Gill Black; Janice Booth; Heather Bovey; Mark Bovey; Sally Blades; Judith Clark; Tony Connor; Di Cook; Ian Dixon; Di Eckersley; Jane Ford; Julia Funk; Rosemarie Gallagher; Gaby Hock; Sue Horne; Lizzie Hubbard; David James; Mary Kaspar; Chris Kear; Lawerence Kershen; Stella King; Magda Koc; Madelaine Molder; Carey Morgan; Keith Murray; Ilana Pearlman; Barbara Pickett; Fiona Reynoldson; Jane Robinson; Jo Rochford; Sandy Sandaver; Marcus Senior; Kath Simmonds; Deborah Thomson; Carmel Twomey; Penny Wilson; Julie Wisbey.
We would also like to thank all of the people who have come to our ‘Oral Tradition’ workshops which we set up to deepen understanding of the Five Element types.
All names have been changed for confidentiality.
Secondly, we would also like to thank the people who have taken the time to read through this book and comment on it. Especially Judith Clark, Jane Grossfeld, Sophie Hayes, Gaby Hock, Helen Knotts and Peter Mole.
Thirdly, we would like to thank everyone who contributed to our learning of NLP, especially Eileen Seymour-Watkins, Graham Dawes, Gene Early and Robert Dilts. We would also like to thank Richard Bandler, one of the co-creators of NLP.
Finally, we wish to thank all the people who have enabled us to learn this style of Chinese Medicine. Most of all we wish to thank JR Worsley who originally taught us acupuncture and demonstrated the skills of Five Element diagnosis with such elegance. We would also like to thank all of our friends and colleagues who we worked with at the Oxford Acupuncture Clinic in Farmoor including Judy Becker-Worsley Meriel Derby, Julia Measures, Peter Mole and Allegra Wint. We learned so much with you over those years. We would also like to thank all those who make the college function so well, including Helen, Wanda, Sean and Julian. Also everyone on the faculty of the College of Integrated Chinese Medicine who by their teaching give support for the development of the acupuncture and herbal medicine professions.
INTRODUCTION
WHY WE WROTE THIS BOOK AND WHAT TO EXPECT FROM IT
Alex, a friend of ours, went to a Chinese doctor for some herbs — she had a number of ailments — digestive problems, headaches and insomnia. The doctor asked her questions about her health then took some minutes to carefully feel the 12 pulses on her wrist — an important part of Chinese Traditional diagnosis.
Finally the doctor sat back, his diagnosis completed. He looked her straight in the eye and told her, ‘Your problem is that you worry too much. You must stop worrying.’ Alex was — unusually — stunned to silence by the doctor’s directness. She merely nodded and said, ‘Yes I’ll stop worrying’. Later that day as we talked on the phone we all laughed as she started to worry about how to stop worrying!
This book is all about your emotions and your health. It will provide you with many important tools. One of these is to help you to identify the main emotions which repeatedly stop you from becoming healthy. For Alex this was worry. She later recognized that the wise Chinese doctor was very accurate in diagnosing this as the cause of her problems. She then set about discovering how to stop worrying. Do you think Alex could immediately stop worrying? The answer is no, of course she couldn’t.
Alex realized very quickly that it is one thing to know that our emotions are adversely affecting our health but quite another to know what to do about it. So the other tool this book will provide is many practical exercises to deal with those emotions so that we can become healthier. We hope the result will be that you feel better in every way — physically, mentally and spiritually.
About This Book
This book brings together two areas of knowledge — one Eastern and one Western. The Eastern one comes from the ancient theory of the Five Elements. The theory of the Five Elements is discussed in greater detail in the first chapter. A system of ‘constitutional types’ is derived from this theory.
This system of constitutional types describes five types of people. For each type there is a shared set of core beliefs, values and concerns, and ways of expressing ourselves emotionally. By understanding these types we can gain a head start in the process of knowing where to work on ourselves.
The Western area of knowledge comes mainly from Neuro-linguistic Programming. We are both trained as practitioners in this therapy. We also draw from other therapies such as Gestalt and a system called ‘Focusing’.
Neuro-linguistic Programming (NLP) has created methods which enable people to work on their deepest mental or emotional processes. These include their beliefs, attitudes, values and patterns of emotional expression. By changing these processes, people can start to experience themselves more positively and constructively. If we believe, for instance, that people like to help each other and that, generally, we can learn and grow, we will be more likely to be helped, learn and grow. If, on the other hand, we believe people are generally selfish and don’t want to help each other and that we are no good at learning and growing, then we are less likely to get help and learn and grow.1
As well as the therapies mentioned above we have added Qigong exercises which help the Organs. The Chinese have carefully researched and proved the effectiveness of these exercises for many specific diseases. In fact, Qi Gong exercises are taught in Chinese medical colleges as a method of treatment. As well as including a relevant exercise for each type we will also refer you to sources to find further ones.2
This book puts the Five Element constitutional types and therapeutic exercises together. Once we have determined our Five Element constitutional type, we have a pathway to our significant values, attitudes and patterns of emotional expression. Then, using the exercises designed for each constitutional type, we can work on the very structure which creates our world. This will in turn allow us to become more balanced. Ultimately this means smoother, more positive and more enjoyable emotions and, in the end, greater health.
How This Book Came About
As authors, we both have over 20 years of experience as practitioners of Chinese medicine. Chinese medicine teaches that healthy emotions are a natural part of living but also that certain types of emotion can cause disease. It also states that some emotions are symptoms of an illness.
We have found that Chinese medicine frequently helps people with emotional problems — even when the emotional issues are not the presenting complaint. Often a change results from treating the Organ associated with the person’s underlying constitutional type. As the person’s energy becomes stronger this in turn gives her or him a better emotional balance. This is an advantageous spiral — the more healthy we are, the easier it is to have ‘normal’ emotions which in turn helps us to be healthy.
Of course, the opposite also happens. The less healthy we are, the harder it is to balance our emotions which, in turn, can make us less well. This is a negative and downward spiral as opposed to a beneficial and upward one. For example, one patient said it was clear that the more stressed she was and the angrier she got, the worse her irritable bowel syndrome became. Of course, the cause and effect went both ways — the worse her irritable bowel syndrome, the more stressed, depressed and angry she became. When she came for treatment, she had rectal bleeding and was already on cortico-steroid drugs. The doctor said the next step would be surgery and the removal of some of her colon.
Fortunately for this woman, Chinese medicine treatments cleared her problems. She also felt more balanced emotionally. Having had Chinese medicine treatment she found that she was able effortlessly to deal with previously difficult situations. This is an example of the positive effect Chinese medicine often has on the emotions.
With other cases, we have found that treatment has helped patients to feel better in many ways but they then get stuck in recurring negative mental or emotional states. These can neutralize the previous positive effects of the treatment. If this is the case, we have found that it is helpful, as well as using Chinese medicine, to work with exercises appropriate to the person’s type. A change of beliefs, values, attitudes and mental habits can release us from these recurring negative states and thus create better health. So when, as practitioners, we wanted to say ‘Stop worrying and your energy will be more balanced’, we found there are ways to put such a recommendation into practice.