The Carrot Stories. Issue 1. The Secrets of Mystical Production or How Crazy Apples Arrived in Canada

The tiny idyllic pristine island of Mogdoba, situated in cool clear waters far out in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, was a heavenly place on which to reside. Its virgin tropical rain forest, two exquisite pure freshwater lakes, the exotic and rare endemic animals and birds and the dazzling skies and sunsets above, gave anyone lucky enough to happen to be there the impression that they had truly entered a place that is usually referred to as paradise. To anyone who may have been a witness to the island’s unreal heavenly beauty it would have been quite obvious that possessing such a gem would have been the aim of many of the richest people on Earth. In the end it was only Earl Rudolf Versben who made a great enough offer to finally manage to persuade the island’s owner, an impoverished American industrialist, to give up and sell the island.

The deal was closed quite quickly after the undisclosed gargantuan sum was announced, causing the American to simply say: “It is yours,” when he heard it. He then added, “You’ve offered me a fitting sum for this heavenly diamond.”

The earl simply smiled, being extremely pleased with himself for making such an arrangement and getting what it was he had wanted.

“By the way,” continued the soon-to-be-wealthy industrialist. “I have very friendly staff working for me on the island, including excellent cooks and very top-level maintenance personnel. I am sure that they will not mind staying and working for you.”

“That won’t be necessary,” answered the nobleman. “I have more than enough of my own people and I am sure that they are no worse than yours.” And with that the deal was closed.

A month later the aging European aristocrat arrived on the Island of Mogdoba on his own ship and by no stretch of the imagination could it have been said that he arrived alone. There were in fact two hundred men who also left the ship and followed their leader onto his newly acquired island paradise. The deep-green circles emblazoned on their white shirts, made it clear to any observers that the shirts’ owners all belonged to one and the same organization.

When the group finally reached the palace that had long ago been built on the island, Earl Versben directed everyone to stop and then he addressed his people: “My faithful Knights, recently we have seen a sign: the joining of a large island with a small one. In this case Australia and Cuba physically unified and are one land now.”

After these words, each knight kneeled on their right knee and leaned on the ground with their right fist bowing their heads in honor. The Earl then moved his hands as if he was tracing the outline of an invisible globe and said: “As you know, more than three hundred long years ago, the Supreme Master John, the founder of our order, mentioned this exact event and stated that when such an event occurred it would mark the moment when his last will had to be opened and read to all! And now, I ask the Master of Chains to bring me the hallowed box in which the sacred will has been sealed for all of these years!”1

A young well-built man approached the Earl and as he held out an ancient looking wooden box, the Earl painstakingly opened it. Then, in his role as the Supreme Master he took out the scroll, unsheathed his dagger and proceeded to use it to break the holy seal and then carefully opened the scroll.

“Faithful Knights of the Order,” the Earl started readingthe Last Will and Testament of the Founder and First Supreme Master of the Order. “During the course of many, many years you have been the guardians of the secrets of ancient knowledge. Some of you may have pondered the real purpose of this and asked yourselves: ‘What are we doing this for?’ We, as the guardians of the secrets, when the time comes, are required to fulfill our holy duty which is to launch a holy crusade against the greatest of evils of all time. The arrival of the time for action will be heralded in by the junction of two great islands. At that time the shining hen will capture and seize the world, spreading its influence and force from every heart to every other heart and from every country to every other country. Your mortal enemy is the sum total of all of the harmful ideas that will be spread and because of which all of humankind will fall into decay and perish forever. Righteous Warriors, you mustn’t allow this heresy quarter! You must destroy it at its center, located on the border of the two unified islands and you must drive out the Hen’s ideas!”

When the Earl finished reading, all of the Knights quickly stood up as if ready for battle. The tension in the air was thick and it was clear that they were ready to begin their great fight right at that moment.

“Be patient,” the Supreme Master said, calming his warriors. “Now things have become clear and we know who our foe is. Our great duty is now to carry out the will of our wise founder. We need to get ready and should start preparations as soon as possible. On this night our Order will begin preparing for its greatest campaign!”

Two hundred brave knights (including the Master of Chains and the Master of Spears) had no idea whatsoever that the true will of their founder had been maliciously substituted with an evil falsehood. If for anything else Earl Versben was remarkable for his extremely heightened love of power which thus led him into attempting to achieve his cherished goal and his true target, namely unlimited power. To attain his objective the Supreme Master had bequeathed upon himself the right to carry out what was a heretofore unprecedented deed, and decided to replace the real will with one of his own making. In reality the founder of the Order had bequeathed upon his followers to welcome and support the Henofization of the world: We possess the true secrets of how to make people work more effectively,” wrote Supreme Master John at the beginning of the real will, and thus according to the real final wishes of the founder, the knowledge they had which would allow for the building of an ideal and productive society on the entire planet, must be made available for everyone and all of humankind. Such generous and noble intentions, of course did not coincide with the evil plans of the Earl. His true wish was to control and use the secret technologies for his own selfish ends and for military purposes.

“At 11 p.m. all of you must be standing near the tub,” said the Supreme Master to the Knights. “Therefore please bring it here to the palace.”

The tub in question was very heavy and several men were required to perform the task, but working together they managed to carry the huge iron tub into the huge meeting hall. When the specified moment came, all of the Knights gathered in the hall, in the center of which the huge tub had been placed.

“Today we will all see the starting of a great campaign,” said Earl Versben solemnly as he stood in front of the gathered Knights with a red velvet cape covering his shoulders. Those assembled understood that it was the symbol of war. “I have bought this island so that we may be able to keep everything we want to do a secret from the outside world. That being said I must underline that nobody has the right to come here without first receiving my permission.The time has come to use the opportunities that we have which are in fact secret.”

“Will you please tell us about these opportunities?” asked the Master of Chains. “It is only you who has read the will.”

“Yes, of course!” nodded the Earl. “Besides his Last Will and Testament Supreme Master John left detailed instruction on how to divide our very souls into separate parts.”

When everybody in the hall heard this they were all surprised, if not in fact shocked.

“To divide the soul into separate parts,” repeated the Master of Chains. “Is that even possible?”

“It most undoubtedly is,” replied the Earl, “what is even more fantastic is that they can then be teleported over great distances.”

Then, not waiting for the next question, the Supreme Master continued his carefully prepared speech to the explanation phase. “The soul of every human being consists of three parts,” he began, “the first part consists of intelligence, the second one holds all of our feelings and emotions and the third part is the repository of all of our power. When they are united, these parts do not work effectively and as a whole they are weak. Therefore as you may have guessed by now, the best option for making them strong is to divide the soul into three separate parts and then unite the parts into three separate groups. Thus, in such a manner, two hundred of my knights can turn into six hundred separate acting units divided into a regiment of intelligence, a regiment of power and a regiment of feelings.”

“That sounds very interesting,” said the Master of Spears, who then concluded: “Without a reduction in the quantity of warriors, we can, in this manner, create excellent military theorists, strategists and tacticians.”

“That is absolutely correct,“agreed the Earl. “Our new Intelligence Units will generate brilliant ideas for us to use in our fight.”

“But what about the Units of Feelings?” asked the Master of Chains. “What will they be able to do for us?”

“There are always questions and issues which cannot be solved only with the help of power and intelligence,” returned the Earl, “the Feeling Units will help us to win over the local populations. They will serve as our diplomats.”

The Earl was intensely pleased and proud of himself: he had pulled off his plan and had made the Order accept the fake will and the plans that he had thought up himself. Nobody suspected or noticed that a substitution had been made. Feeling immensely pleased, the Supreme Master looked at his Knights and then saw one of them raise his hand.

“As far as I know,” said the Knight, “my soul is an immaterial entity, how can its parts act in the physical world?”

“Near Hensburg there is a huge apple orchard,” said the Earl, at the moment looking more like a poet than the leader of the Order,“and now, the time has come for the gathering of the harvest. Apples will soon become your temporary bodies. To put it more precisely, every one of you will soon exist in three apples simultaneously: one will be an apple for power, another an apple for intelligence and the third will be an apple for feelings.”

“Why apples?” the Master of Spears asked in surprise. “Why can’t we be people?”

The Supreme Master then explained to them that, as people the Knights would draw suspicion onto themselves which could deprive their invasion of its main advantages, namely suddenness, singularity and surprise. According to the calculations and the plans of Earl Versben, the dwellers of Hensburg must not realize what is going on for as long as possible.

“How are you going to divide our souls?” asked the Master of Chains. “And how are you going to put the parts into apples?”

Earl Versben didn’t answer these questions but turned away and went over to the tub and opened its lid: there were five hundred and forty nine large green apples inside (for one hundred and eighty three people). With great difficulty, the Supreme Master then pushed over the tub so that it lay on its side and all of the apples scattered across the marble floor.

“Eighteen of us will have to stay here on the island,” said the Supreme Master, “because without their assistance we will not be able to reach our point of destination.” The Earl then asked his assistants and one hundred and eighty Knights to form into a single column. When it was over the Supreme Master and his two assistants were supposed to head three separate regiments of equal size.

When his order to form a column was carried out, Earl Versben addressed his troops again: “My faithful Knights, be strong and resolute, we are starting our most important campaign ever! Now in order to continue what we are destined to do, I ask all of you to please close your eyes and imagine a delicious juicy green apple. The brighter the image in your heads the better it will be.”

The Supreme Master then produced a scroll, unrolled part of it and began pronouncing the words of a conjuration that had been written in Latin. The Earl read very loudly with his bony index finger moving over the scroll from word to word and line to line until the last word was finally pronounced.

The spell he had read turned out to be a valid one and the eighteen Knights, who weren’t engaged in the process, saw the apples start moving as if they had tiny invisible feet. Five hundred and forty goggle-eyed apples were now formed into three equal columns. Six other apples now stood together in front of the columns (these were the Master of Chains and the Master of Spears).

“We are ready to go into action,” said one of the “commanders” in a strange little funny voice.

“That is great!” exclaimed the Earl. “Now all of you go over to the tub and get into it. In a few hours we will be in the suburbs of Hensburg.”

Then all of a sudden like tennis balls, the apples jumped into the tub, one after the other. Meanwhile the actual people who they had been and whose souls had been transferred to the apples, had turned into statues and stood where they had stood, now hard and motionless.

“You will all have to look after them,” said the Supreme Master to the eighteen Knights who remained. “Make sure you dust them off at least once a day.”

“Yes, of course, we’ll do that!” answered the Knights all together.”

“Now I want to tell what you will have to do today,” continued the Earl. “Soon, when I become apples, you will have to immediately put the lid on the tub and throw it into the ocean.” The Supreme Master went up to one of the Knights and looked at him intently: “Fernando,” said the Supreme Master in a quiet voice. “I hope you can read the conjuration without making any mistakes. You must do so when the tub is in the ocean. You must be very, very attentive.”

Fernando then took the scroll that had been handed to him. The words on it were in Latin but the young man knew the Latin language, and this was one of the reasons he had been admitted into the Order. Meanwhile, the Supreme Master read more of the conjuration and the last three apples came to life. They jumped into the tub and asked for the lid to be put on it.Then four knights gathered around the tub and with great difficulty made their way towards the ocean.

“You may start,” said the Knight, whose name was Theodor. “Read the conjuration.”

Theodor was older than all of the others, and this was the reason Earl Versben had assigned him the position of senior Knight on the island.

Fernando then took a deep breath and started readingthe conjuration. Then, as soon as he had started, one could see the tub beginning to vibrate and make sounds as if it had a motor inside. When Fernando had reached the end and finished, the tub set off with a jerk and then took off like a torpedo moving away from the islands and towards the enemy at a frightening speed.

“Good job,” said Theodor, “they will reach Australia very soon.”

The Knights then returned to the palace and set about securing the premises and the hall. They had been told that they were required to lockdown the hall where the bodies of the Knights remained standing.

“We should move the Supreme Master so he is near the Knights,” said Theodor. “Will you help to move him?”

Fernando went over and took hold of the Supreme Master under his armpits, getting ready to pick him up when he felt that there was something inside the Earl’s sleeve. The young man felt the outline through the cloth and realized that it was a scroll.

“I think our leader kept part of the will from us.” he said to Theodor. “It would be interesting to read it.”

Theodor stood motionless. The will which the Supreme Master had made public was lying on the table where Fernando had placed it after they had returned from the shore. Reading a document that had been kept secret and hidden away was a sign of insubordination. However on the other side of the equation was the fact that Supreme Master John was owed the full reading of his Last Will and Testament in full, or at least for his followers to be informed about the contents or the existence of a secret section of the will.

“Go ahead and read it Fernando.” stated Theodor. “If you learn anything that we mustn’t know, keep it to yourself for the rest of your life.”

The young man slowly removed the scroll from the Earl’s sleeve and went over to the window, where the light was better, and started to reading in silence to himself. After what seemed like ages Fernando turned to the others and stated in a trembling voice: “Everything we heard was a falsification.” He had turned deathly pale and proceeded to tell Theodor about the true contents of the will. As it turned out, the fact of the matter was that Supreme Master John had bequeathed them to use the secret knowledge only for peaceful purposes. In other words, the ability to divide a soul into three parts was supposed to only be applied with regard to processes involving production. Every working day was supposed to start with a procedure that involved placing the souls of those involved in production into three material items. First of all, this would increase the overall quantity of workers and secondly, it would allow for improving all levels of production: for example the intellectual potential of people working in jobs that required physical labor would also be used in offices, while the physical power of, for example clerks, would be highly desirable and applied in workshops and places where physical labor was required.

“Earl Versben was thus jeopardizing the lives and existence of all of the Knights and in fact of the entire world,” said Theodor in an irate voice. “We must stop him immediately! Is there any way that we can follow them?”

“I think so but first all of the parts of our souls need to be placed in material items.” explained Fernando. “Are there any extra apples left?”

They started searching and in ten minutes they were able to find six of the required fruits: three for Fernando and three for Theodor. After a few minutes the work was done and the two knights were turned into apples as had been those before them.

“How are you?” asked Fernando via his strange little apple voice.

“It is a very strange feeling,” explained Theodor, “I now exist simultaneously in three different bodies.”

“I understand what you mean.” said the three apples that were now Fernando. “Our common values and quotients are the same.”

Fernando and Theodor then asked the other fifteen Knights to put them into a wooden box and take them to the ocean. It was already very late at night but they were taken to the shore, where the now black waters of the ocean rolled in with the heightened tide. The surf came in and the tide then immediately took the box away and out to sea. At that moment the three apples of Fernando started reading the conjuration. As the real will of the first Supreme Master had great cultural value, Fernando and Theodor took it with them along with the fake copy.

Unfortunately, Fernando didn’t know that when re-writing the will, Earl Versben had made one mistake: instead of “the Land of the South” he had written “the Land of the North”. As a result, the tub and the box were directed to Canada, a country whose location was the nearest to Mogdoba.

While floating in the sea, the intelligent apples of Fernando and Theodor were thinking of ways to stop Supreme Master Rudolf.

“It was a great idea to take the real will,” said the Fernando apple. “It will be our proof. The Knights are unlikely to believe our words alone.”

“Yes,” agreed the voice of the intelligent apple of Theodor, “I have no doubt that they will be surprised.”

After one retires fishing is a perfect occupation. Being in nature and in calm surroundings is necessary to counteract the effects of the hustle and bustle of a big city and of life in general. When you are fishing you are like a magician and your rod connects two worlds, that of water and that of land.

Albert and Staph, two pensioners from Vancouver, were just such magicians. They had been friends since childhood and had gone to the same school, the same university and then worked all their lives at the same factory. When the color grey became dominant in their hair, the two friends decided to trade in engineering tools for long fishing rods.

“What is the biggest perch you have ever caught?” asked Albert.

“It was about the size of your dog,” answered Staph proudly, “and I am not kidding.”

“Perch can in no way be that big,” noted Albert, “so what you are saying is not true.”

“I think it was some kind of unknown ocean perch,” returned Staph smiling, “and it accidentally appeared in our river.”

“Perch are not found in the ocean,” said Albert, returning an argument that seemed to be decisive.

“I think I would rather add some firewood to the fire right now than keep up this nonsense,” Staph said changing the subject. “December is not July and besides, we are unlikely to catch anything today.”

“I disagree,” objected Albert, “we have never returned without some sort of catch.”

“In the months of November and December fish are very passive,” said Staph and stood up. “You would have more luck turning into an apple, than you would in catching even one fish.”

Staph went to put some logs on the fire and when Albert was left alone, he felt his rod begin twitching.

This must be a very big fish! thought the former engineer. Will I be able to pull it in?

Albert had to make an effort, but soon a dark wooden box was lying at his feet. As you might have guessed, inside it were Fernando and Theodor, or to be precise, their souls divided into three parts each.

Being as the box was lighter than the tub and moved very quickly through the waters it had reached the Canadian coast first. Albert watched as the lid opened and six green goggle-eyed apples jumped out of the box one after the other. They immediately started growing at an alarming rate and were soon the size of pumpkins.

“Dear Sir,” said three of the apples in unison. “My name is Fernando. We would like to speak to Doran Traperton, the mayor of Hensburg.”

“This is incredible, it can’t be!” exclaimed Albert, clearly terrified and trying to control his shock at what he was witnessing. “No! Please! Please don’t hurt me!”

The fisherman got up using all his might to fight the terror that had frozen him to the spot and then ran away.

“We frightened him,” said the intelligent apple of Theodor. “I see another fisherman by that campfire over there. I’ll try to talk to him myself.”

“Good evening. I am sorry to bother you, I am not really an apple, actually I am a human,” said the three apples of Theodor as they approached Staph. “Your city and the Hen’s Philosophy are in danger!”

“What is this?! What happened to you Albert?” asked Staph, truly shocked. “Have you turned into an apple? I…I was just…”