Designer of life: 70 golden rules of deep transformation. A practical guide to mindfulness. Will replace years of spiritual seeking
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In psychology, the eminent Swiss psychiatrist Carl Gustav Jung developed the concept of the “shadow,” which vividly illustrates this principle as it applies to the human psyche. According to Jung, the “shadow” represents the part of our personality that we suppress and do not acknowledge. This can include negative character traits (anger, envy, selfishness) – everything we consider “bad” and which is the opposite of our conscious self-image.
Jung argued that ignoring or repressing the “shadow” does not make it disappear; on the contrary, it continues to influence us from the unconscious, often manifesting in projections (when we see in others what we do not accept in ourselves). Understanding and gradually integrating the “shadow” – that is, recognizing and accepting these repressed aspects – is an important step on the path to psychological wholeness. Jung described this concept in detail in his works, including the collection The Essential Jung.4 Understanding the principle of polarity helps us accept the duality of the world and find balance between opposites, not only externally but also within ourselves.
Understanding this rule changes everything. In self-discovery: the harder you try to be only “good,” the louder your “shadow” – suppressed aggression – knocks from within. Accepting both sides brings freedom and wholeness. In a career: it is impossible to appreciate the taste of success without knowing the bitterness of failure. Failures are not the opposite of success, but an integral part of it, providing the most valuable lessons. In emotions: by suppressing sadness, we devalue joy. By accepting the full spectrum of feelings, you become emotionally alive and resilient, knowing that after the night, the dawn always comes.
A real-life example. At 49, a year after the death of a loved one, I fell into a deep depression. Losing someone close is the collapse of your familiar world. This is especially difficult to endure in adulthood, when a significant part of life has been lived together (in my case, seven years) and shared habits have been formed. After such a loss, I felt as if I had lost a part of myself. Every event reminded me of her. The depression built up gradually until it became an ocean of sorrow. But it was this depth of suffering that became the turning point. When the future seems empty and the past is painful, all that remains is the present moment.
In this state of depression, something unexpected happened: when the outer world lost its color, my attention turned inward. Depression, which had seemed so terrifying, became a guide to understanding myself. It cleared a space for new experiences. The practice of presence helped me find an anchor within myself. It was the fusion of depression and presence that created a state of harmony within me. This is a story of how difficult trials can become a path to a conscious existence, how pain can become a teacher, and how darkness can be a path to light.
To apply this principle in your life, you can use the “Accepting Opposites” technique. This practice will help you recognize the natural duality of the world and learn to accept both “positive” and “negative” aspects of life, finding balance and strength in them.
• Start by simply acknowledging that opposites always exist in the world (light and dark, joy and sadness, ups and downs). This is the natural order of things. Nothing is absolutely good or absolutely bad outside of a context.
• Don’t fight your “negative” emotions (fear, anger, sadness, irritation). Allow yourself to feel them. Don’t try to suppress them. Acceptance is the first step toward learning to manage them. When you accept your emotions, they lose their destructive power over you.
• Realize that opposites do not necessarily exclude each other. On the contrary, they often complement each other and create balance. Without darkness, we could not truly appreciate light; without sadness, joy; without difficulties, achievements.
• Strive not for the exclusion of one side (e.g., only “positivity”), but for harmony between them. Understand that downs are as natural as ups, and that difficulties carry lessons within them.
• Pay attention to the manifestations of opposites in your daily life. Notice how they alternate, how they coexist. This will help you understand this principle more deeply and learn to live in harmony with it.
Recognizing and accepting duality opens up a new level of awareness. Study this principle, and you will see how even the most complex situations become understandable and useful. Flexibility and wisdom are born in balance, and inner strength comes from the ability to see value in every experience.
Rule 5. Everything Follows Cycles and Seasons
“Everything in the world flows and changes, Life follows rhythms and cycles. Tides follow the ebb, day follows night, joy follows sorrow.”
– Hermann Hesse
This rule reflects a universal principle of nature: everything in the world is subject to cyclical changes. The alternation of day and night, the seasons, tides, and the phases of the moon are all examples of natural cycles. This same principle applies to human life. We go through cycles of growth and decline, activity and rest, joy and sorrow. Understanding this cyclical nature helps us accept the inevitability of change and adapt to it more effectively.
A prominent example of research in this area is the work on ultradian rhythms, which were studied in detail by Nathaniel Kleitman, a pioneer of sleep research. Ultradian rhythms are recurring cycles of activity and rest lasting about 90—120 minutes throughout the day.5 Research shows that our energy and concentration naturally fluctuate according to these cycles. Periods of high productivity are followed by periods of decline when the body needs rest and recovery. Ignoring these natural cycles and trying to work at full capacity without breaks leads to burnout. This research perfectly illustrates that our physiology and psychology are subject to rhythms, and respecting them is the key to sustainable productivity.
In addition to daily rhythms, there are longer biological rhythms – infradian rhythms – related, for example, to seasonal changes. A well-known phenomenon is Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), which manifests as depressive states in the autumn and winter due to a lack of sunlight. This is a clear example of how natural cycles directly affect our psychological state.
This rule affects all areas of life: health, relationships, career, and creativity. For example, by observing your mood and energy throughout the day, you can notice that periods of high energy are followed by periods of fatigue.
In 2017, I planted a beautiful garden of my own design, where I can now observe all the seasonal cycles of nature. I love it very much. I love how it is beautiful in its own way in every season. Plants do not fight the elements; they accept their gifts with humility and reveal themselves to us in all their glory.
I learn from nature to accept storms and misfortunes by living through them. If sadness comes over me, I study it with sensitivity and attention, observing this part of myself. Instead of fighting it, I perceive it as part of a natural process that is constantly changing. This awareness helps me not to resist but to act in harmony with the cycles. It is important to understand: just as nature rests in winter before a new bloom, so too must a person learn to accept their difficulties and periods of rest.
To apply this law in your life, try the “Map Your Cycles” technique. This will help you better understand your personal rhythms and learn to live in harmony with them. You can use a scale, for example, from 1 to 10, to rate your state on key parameters:
Step 1: Daily Tracking (Data Collection)
• Physical State: Energy level, quality of sleep, appetite, physical activity (1 = complete exhaustion, 10 = high energy and vitality).
• Emotional State: Mood, emotions (joy, sadness, anger, fear), stress level (1 = feeling down/anxious, 10 = joyful/calm).
• Energetic State: Overall energy level, enthusiasm, motivation (1 = weakness, 10 = inspiration).
• Mental State: Clarity of thought, concentration, creativity (1 = brain fog, 10 = deep focus and mental clarity).
Next to the numbers, briefly note a key event of the day that could have influenced your state (e.g., “slept poorly,” “conflict at work,” “long walk”).
Step 2: Weekly Analysis (Finding Connections)
At the end of the week, analyze your records to find clear patterns. Ask yourself the main questions:
– “What gives me energy, and what drains it?”
– “During which days/hours am I most productive, and when do I need to rest?”
You might notice: “Intensive work in the morning exhausts me by the evening, but a 15-minute walk at lunch changes everything.”
Step 3: Conscious Planning (Harmonization)
Now, start planning your life in harmony with these rhythms.
• Schedule your most challenging tasks during your “peak” hours, and routine tasks and rest during periods of decline.
• Consciously prepare for energy-draining meetings by planning for recovery afterward.
This is what it means to live in harmony with your natural cycles – the wisest path to productivity and well-being.
Life is a dance of rhythms. By learning to move in time with them, you will find harmony and inner strength. Any downturn is part of the path to a new upswing. By accepting your natural rhythms, you can use your energy more effectively and achieve greater results.
Rule 6. Everything in the Universe is Interconnected
“The action of even the tiniest creature leads to changes in the entire universe.” – Nikola Tesla
This fundamental principle, known as the law of interconnectedness, asserts that everything in the universe is linked and interdependent. From the smallest particles to the largest galaxies, everything is part of a Single Whole. Our thoughts, words, and actions have consequences that extend far beyond our immediate surroundings. Imagine the flap of a butterfly’s wings in Brazil, which, according to chaos theory, could trigger a tornado in Texas. This is a vivid illustration of how a seemingly insignificant event can have global consequences.
This rule is reflected in various scientific disciplines. In ecology, the concept of an ecosystem emphasizes the interconnectedness of all living organisms. Quantum physics points to the fundamental interconnectedness of particles at the subatomic level, where it is impossible to consider one particle in isolation from others.
Physicist and systems theorist Fritjof Capra, in his book The Web of Life: A New Scientific Understanding of Living Systems, offers a comprehensive scientific vision of this interconnectedness6. The author synthesizes ideas from different fields to show that living systems, including our planet, are complex networks of interconnected elements. The properties of these elements are determined not only by their individual characteristics but also by their relationships and interactions within the entire network.
The reality we observe is merely a projection of a deeper, interconnected structure. According to this concept, every region of spacetime contains the entire order of the universe, much like a hologram, where each fragment carries information about the Whole. This means that even the slightest change in one place can instantly be reflected throughout the entire system, creating a domino effect.
The principle of interconnectedness manifests in all areas of life, but it is especially evident in our interactions with others. There was a period in my life when I was often dissatisfied with everything. Almost every trip to a restaurant ended in disappointment: the music seemed too loud, the steak wasn’t cooked enough, and the waiters were slow. Interestingly, my mood also affected my boyfriend: he would start getting irritated over small things, which created tension in our relationship. However, when I began to work on my perception and focus on the positive moments, our relationship significantly improved.
Understanding this deep interconnectedness – that every inner state and every action has a response in the external world – builds a sense of responsibility and awareness. Your actions and thoughts are not isolated; they are intricately woven into the single web of Life.
To apply this rule, you can use the “Benevolence” method. It is based on the understanding that our inner state and actions form a network of connections that influence our reality.
• Accept yourself as you are, with all your strengths and weaknesses. Speak kind words to yourself, and take care of your physical and emotional health. Remember: your benevolence toward the world begins with kindness to yourself.
• After you have learned to show benevolence to yourself, begin directing it outward. Smile at people, wish them a good day, give compliments, and help those in need. These simple acts of kindness actively form positive connections around you.
• Forgiveness is also an important aspect of benevolence. Forgive yourself for your mistakes and learn to forgive others for their wrongdoings. Forgiveness will free you from negative emotions and help you live in peace with yourself and others. By letting go of grudges and guilt, you break negative ties with the past and strengthen harmonious relationships in the present.
By realizing your inseparable connection with all that is, you accept responsibility for every word, thought, and deed. Remember that even the smallest changes in your life can have a positive impact on the world around you. Start right now, and you will see how your efforts transform not only your Life but the world around you!
Rule 7. Energy is Never Lost, Only Transformed
“Energy cannot be created or destroyed; it can only be changed from one form to another.” – Albert Einstein
This law, known as the law of conservation of energy, is a fundamental principle of physics. It states that energy cannot be created from nothing or completely destroyed; it only changes from one form to another. This applies to all types of energy: kinetic, potential, thermal, electromagnetic, and so on.
A rigorous theoretical explanation of this and other fundamental laws is presented in courses on theoretical physics. In the classic textbook Mechanics by Lev Landau and Evgeny Lifshitz, this law is derived as a consequence of the homogeneity of time in a closed system, demonstrating its universality.7 Their work shows that if the laws of physics do not change over time, then there exists a conserved quantity – energy.
According to this principle, the total amount of energy in a closed system remains constant, merely changing from one form to another. You cannot “destroy” or “suppress” an unwanted emotion. Trying to lock anger in the basement of your consciousness or pretending that fear doesn’t exist is like trying to hold water in your hand. The energy won’t go anywhere. It will either seep through your fingers in the form of passive aggression or one day burst out in an uncontrolled flood.
The essence of this rule is to stop fighting with energy and learn to transform it. Realize that the energy of anger can become fuel for decisive action. The energy of fear can be a signal for careful planning. The energy of sadness can be a source for re-evaluating values. It is important to consciously observe these processes so as not to end up in a state where your resources are being spent unconsciously and uncontrollably.
Waking up in the morning, I make a choice about which energy I want to start my day with: gratitude for a new beautiful day, or anxious thoughts about how it will go? For the past seven years, I have been waking up with a feeling of gratitude for the opportunity to express myself in a new day for the benefit of myself and others. This feeling sets the tone for the entire day and provides a reserve of energy that lasts with ease. But it wasn’t always like this. Before, before I got to my planned activities, I could waste this energy on: replaying the past, worrying about the future, being dissatisfied, judging others, doubting, excessive control, fear of change, comparing myself to others, consuming too much information, and much more. By evening, I would return home exhausted, not realizing where all my energy had gone.
Now I invite you to do the same. Look at my list and note what you spend your energy on (see Appendix 1 for the full list). Throughout the day, write down what drains your energy and what fills you with strength. Analyze and adjust your habits. This will help you become more conscious in how you allocate your energy. By learning to manage your attention, you will make your Life more balanced and productive. Every step requires energy, and only you decide where to direct it. The more conscious your choice, the more energy remains for creating the life of your dreams.
To apply this law, you can use the “Energy Transformation” method. This practice will help you learn not to suppress “negative” emotions, but to use the energy contained within them to achieve your goals and improve your well-being.
• Do not try to suppress or ignore negative emotions when they arise. Acknowledge that you are experiencing them and name them to yourself. For example:
– “I am very angry right now.”
– “I feel fear.”
– “Sadness has overcome me.”
• Realize that there is energy contained in every strong emotion, even a “negative” one. This energy can be used for your purposes.
• Consciously channel the energy of a negative emotion into a constructive outlet. Think about what useful activity you can spend it on right now. For example, if you are angry, you can channel this energy into sports, creativity, or cleaning.
• Imagine the energy being transformed. For example, picture the dark and heavy energy of anger turning into the bright and light energy of determination.
• Find what brings you joy and fills you with energy (see the list of sources in Appendix 2). Regularly return to these activities – this way you will restore your strength and reinforce your new, harmonious state.
Remember that working with energy is an ongoing process. When you understand that energy is never lost, only transformed, you can learn to manage it and create a Life full of joy, harmony, and success.
Chapter 2. Responsibility and Freedom
Responsibility is a person’s ability to make conscious decisions and be accountable for their consequences. It implies inner maturity, the skill to act independently of external circumstances, and not to shift blame onto others.
Freedom is the right to choose and the opportunity to act according to one’s convictions. However, freedom is impossible without responsibility, as a truly free person is aware of the consequences of their decisions and actions.
Rule 8. Cause and Effect
“Life can be neither just nor unjust, as everything within it has a cause and an effect.” – Alexander Sviyash
This rule, also known as the law of karma or the cause-and-effect relationship, states that every action has a consequence, and every event has a cause. It is a fundamental principle that operates in all areas of life, from physics to psychology. In physics, for example, Newton’s third law states that for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. In biology, evolution is the result of the cause-and-effect relationship between mutations and natural selection.
The manifestation of this principle is particularly evident in the realm of the human psyche. Our behavior, emotions, and even physiological reactions are often the consequence of our thoughts and beliefs. One of the most prominent examples of the practical application of the law of causality is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). As shown in the works of A. Beck, CBT is based on understanding the link between thoughts, feelings, and behavior. It helps people to recognize and change dysfunctional cycles where negative thoughts lead to negative emotions and maladaptive behavior.8 By identifying the causes (distorted beliefs), CBT helps to change negative patterns, thereby influencing the effects – improving emotional well-being and quality of life.
Understanding the law of cause and effect helps us take responsibility for our actions and create the results we desire. Every action, no matter how small, leaves its mark, shaping our future. Where you are now and in what state is a consequence of your past actions.
A real-life example. At the age of 40, after a knife wound that doctors considered fatal and a many-hour surgery, I returned to life. More accurately, Life reemerged along with me. This became a sign for me: it meant the world still needed me!
A vague feeling of physical discomfort and a torturous thirst – these were the first glimmers of my returning consciousness. My parched mouth could barely make a sound. Someone moistened my lips with water. Opening my eyes, it took me a long time to understand where I was. An unfamiliar room, unfamiliar surroundings. My “personality” switched on a bit later, along with memories of what had happened.
My first thoughts were, “Why did this happen?” and “What did I do to deserve this?” Only many years later did I realize that this event was a consequence of my mindset and state in the past. The most important thing is not to fall into judgment or look for someone to blame. I believe that nothing in life happens by chance. This event, as painful as it was, gave me the opportunity to start with a clean slate. It was a kind of “reset” that forced me to take full responsibility for my thoughts and actions. It was then that I understood that the harshest trials are not a punishment from fate, but lessons that lead to true transformation.
To effectively use this law, you can apply the “Action Self-Analysis” technique. It will help you identify the patterns between your actions, their hidden causes (thoughts, emotions, states), and their consequences.
• Start a dedicated journal. In it, you will regularly record your actions and their results. You don’t have to describe every single step; focus on actions that seem important to you and triggered a strong reaction (positive or negative).
• For each significant event, record as many details as possible in a table to help identify the cause-and-effect link:
– “What exactly did you do?” (The Action).
– “Why did you do it? What inner state (thoughts, feelings, beliefs, needs) motivated this action?” (The Cause).
– “What specific result did you get? How did the situation unfold after this action?” (The Consequence and Result).
– “What emotions did you feel during and after the action?” (The Emotional “Trace” of the cause and effect).
Example of filling out the table:
• Set aside time, for example, once a week, to reread your entries from the past period and analyze them.
• Ask yourself questions to identify patterns and learn lessons:
– “Which of my actions (and their internal causes) led to positive results?”
– “Which of my actions (and their internal causes) led to negative results?”
– “What can I do differently next time if a similar situation arises?”
– “What useful lesson can I take from this situation?”
Self-analysis requires honesty with yourself. Don’t be afraid to admit your mistakes and see the undesirable consequences of your actions. Remember that the goal of self-analysis is not to berate yourself for the past, but to learn from it and make more conscious choices in the future.