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www.millsandboon.co.uk
Gwynn Macka hasn’t seen Brett Sorrellson in over a year, not since their relationship had ended so abruptly. Not since the brilliant, sexy man she fell for learned her secret and she’d been forced to flee.
Now Brett is back with an offer to join a covert military unit of shapeshifters, and the spark of their attraction is instantly reignited. Neither can resist sharing one last night of passion, but as a cougar shifter, Gwynn had been taught only to trust her own kind. Can she truly trust Brett with her secret…and with her heart?
Contents
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter One
Brett?
No, that couldn’t be Brett Sorrellson standing there at the edge of the crowded sidewalk still filled with students waiting for rides home after school.
Gwynn Macka’s brain must be even more fried than she had thought to imagine that Brett might be here, at this small middle-school campus in the Rim of the World Unified school district, way up in the San Bernardino Mountains of Southern California. The area was so far from Denver in distance and attitude that it might as well be on the other side of the globe.
But Gwynn wasn’t fooling herself. Though she hadn’t seen Brett for more than a year, she would never forget his sharp-edged good looks, the way his astonishingly intelligent hazel eyes had bored into her as if she were a computer enigma to be studied and solved on the spot.
Or his buff masculine physique, very unexpected in a guy who pretended to be nothing but a computer nerd. A physique that he kept buff—and knew how to use to its full advantage.
Oh, yes, Gwynn had found that out. Enjoyed it.
Loved it.
Until what they’d had ended so abruptly. Until the brilliant, sexy, wonderful man she’d cared for so deeply had learned the secret she couldn’t share with anyone outside her family, and she’d been forced to flee.
Even at this distance, while Gwynn stood at the top of the steps overlooking the pickup driveway, she couldn’t doubt her eyes. And how appropriate it was to see him there at the end of this highly taxing school day and before she returned home to what she knew would be a typically stressful time with her parents and brother.
How had he found her? She’d been so careful. Hadn’t even used her own name before, when they had known each other.
Well, no matter now. She couldn’t just stand there pretending not to see him. Nor did she dare to confront him.
She needed time to think. She turned and hurried back into the building, using the crowd of teachers and students at the exit as her camouflage. She practically ran through the halls toward her classroom, ignoring curious glances of other teachers who conversed outside their own classrooms—none really her friend since she feared getting close to anyone. Not around here—and not ever again.
Inside, she barely glanced at the rows of tablet-armed students’ chairs. She headed immediately to her large teacher’s desk at the front where she secured her personal property. Pulling the key from her pocket, she unlocked the drawers and grabbed her purse. From a file cabinet to the side, she yanked out folders of biology homework that she’d planned to grade here later that afternoon for her students. Working at home was impossible, but she’d figure out something.
She locked her desk again, jammed her key in the pocket of her gray linen slacks, and dashed toward the door while clutching all she carried.
But her way out was blocked by a tall, looming, gorgeously handsome—and fully unnerving—form.
“Hello, Gwynn,” said the deep voice that had always wrapped itself inside her and churned all sorts of lava-hot effects from her most vulnerable body parts. “Good to see you again.”
Brett smiled as he regarded the shocked look on Gwynn’s face. He tried to keep his expression friendly but knew it was sardonic. And maybe a bit triumphant.
“What are you doing here, Brett?” she demanded. She didn’t sound defensive the way she used to, just angry.
Had she changed that much over the past year? Or did she just want him to think so?
“I’ll bet you can guess,” he responded lazily, leaning against the doorjamb. “It took me a while to get here after I located you. But I thought you knew me well enough to realize that I enjoy a challenge—especially one I can use as a puzzle over the internet.”
She had remained in front of him, hugging files to her shapely chest as if using them as a shield against him. She needn’t worry. As much as he had once loved caressing her curvaceous, full breasts, that wasn’t why he had come.
Although given the opportunity…well, sure. He’d enjoy making love with her just once again. For old times’ sake.
“No, actually, I can’t,” she said. “I don’t know why you’re here. I should think it would be pretty obvious that I didn’t want to see you again after I left Denver.”
“Ah, but I definitely wanted to see you again,” he said, broadening his smile. Her eyes widened for an instant as if in utter terror.
Damn. He knew how vulnerable she had seemed before. But he had come to believe that was just part of her act. Her seduction of him. Her method of playing him as a fool.
But what if it was real? Had she genuinely felt vulnerable because of who she was, even when no one was aware of it?
Or was it all a pretense?
He would find out.
“Well, you’ve seen me,” she said in a tone so icy that he felt transported for an instant to the cold Aspen mountain slope where they had skied together months before she had disappeared. “Now go back to Denver.”
“I don’t live in Denver anymore,” he told her.
That appeared to shock her. “Really? I thought you loved it there.”
“Too many memories,” he said casually, although he felt anything but casual.
Her eyes closed for an instant before opening again. “I…I’m not sure what to say.”
He regarded her for a minute, not saying anything, either.
She was as beautiful as ever. Her prominent cheekbones underscored deep chocolate eyes that looked even more haunted now, and perhaps afraid as she regarded him warily and, maybe, with a touch of regret—or was he only hoping for that? Her pink lips were less glowing and pouty today than in his memories of her, since she had initially drawn them into a taut line of displeasure while watching him. Now, they were slightly open, all alluring, suggesting silently that he kiss her. Or was that just another thing he wanted to read there?
Her tawny hair was rolled into a knot at the nape of her neck, which suggested it was still long and sexy. She wore a blue shirt and gray slacks, a nice outfit for a schoolteacher, he supposed. As before, she looked slender and sleek. And of course now he knew why.
Had known it for over a year.
Brett had watched Gwynn change, under a full moon, from this incredibly sensuous, attractive woman he had once loved into a wild, stalking cougar. Oh, and not the euphemistic term now used for an older woman who dated younger men.
No, Gwynn was an actual mountain lion. A shape-shifter.
And now he had come to see her for a reason other than seduction and self-satisfaction.
He had a proposition for her. One that would be of great value to her.
He just needed to get her to listen to it.
“You don’t need to say anything,” Brett told her. But she could see in the studiously bland way he looked at her that he blamed her. She’d known so many of his expressions, and blankness on his face was a way of hiding what he really felt.
She had thought she couldn’t feel much worse after running away, knowing she had hurt him. Had hurt herself, too, of course, but that didn’t matter.
The kind of hurt she’d evidently caused him, though—it was more than simply disappearing and ending a relationship that should never have existed in the first place. From what he’d said, she had caused repercussions in his life that she hadn’t anticipated at all.
She had somehow made him move away from the city, and therefore the job, that he had loved.
“Brett, I’m so sorry,” she breathed, wishing there was some way she could make things better for him. She had no illusions that she could ever have made them much better for herself, although she was still weighing options. “I never meant to—”
“Of course you did,” he said easily, as if they were talking about the weather. “Or you wouldn’t have gotten involved at all, under the circumstances. But it’s okay. I’m not here to issue any blame. Or to make you feel bad.”
She stared at his handsome, still-expressionless face once more. She had the irresponsible and inappropriate urge to reach out, touch his cheek where a hint of beard was beginning to grow.
She had done that so often, before. Had loved the raspy feel on the sensitive palms of her hands.
It had always led to his touching her in return. Gently and neutrally, at first. But then they’d stroked each other more roughly. Torn at each other’s clothes…
Why was she doing this to herself? To punish herself even more than just seeing Brett again, knowing what they’d meant to one another—and how she had been so wrong, so cruel, to have gotten close to him?
Right now, she wanted to edge around him. Flee her classroom.
Run away from him yet again.
But she knew that wasn’t possible.
At least tonight was not a night of a full moon. Tomorrow was, though. He must know that and have planned his arrival here accordingly.
But she would have to make certain that he was nowhere near her then. Otherwise, the results would be even worse than the last time, when he’d seen her. Not just dangerous—for both of them—but potentially disastrous.
For now, she moved sideways and sat on one of her students’ chairs. Put the files on its desk arm and lowered her purse to the floor. Sank there, feeling defeated, unsure what to do as her mind flailed for a solution.
“Then tell me,” she nevertheless said calmly, “why are you here? And how did you find me?”
“I came here to change your life—again.” His renewed smile was even more brittle this time. “The way you changed mine, but better.”
“What do you mean?” Gwynn felt a gnawing anxiety inside. Now that he knew where she was, who she was, did he intend to tell the world? That had always been her fear.
That had also been one reason her family had been so furious when she had first made it clear years ago that she had no intention of staying in the San Bernardino Mountains with them. They’d done many terrible things to try to change her mind.
They had tried even harder to prevent her from leaving when she had finally gotten up the nerve and made plans she’d thought would work so she would never have to come back.
How they’d laughed when she had returned with her proverbial tail between her legs. Made her pay for daring to flee in the first place.
Made clear she would continue to pay for her lapse in judgment over and over, for the rest of her life.
She was a shapeshifter, a cougar on each night of a full moon, and so were they. They lived in a world where they were outcasts, bonded uncomfortably together in an attempt to shut out the rest of the world—even though their feline instincts taught them to be loners. Regular humans didn’t believe in them, didn’t understand.
Regular humans ridiculed—and killed—whatever they failed to understand.
Was that why Brett was here?
Not that she expected him to pull a gun and shoot her. But there were other, less direct ways to end a life.
“I mean I have a proposition for you,” he said. “An offer you can’t refuse.” He laughed as he used the old expression that had come to mean that refusal meant death.
She shuddered, doubting she wanted to hear what he had in mind. “How did you find me, Brett?” she asked sorrowfully, as if knowing would somehow make their confrontation easier to bear.
“I’ll tell you that when I tell you the rest. I assume you don’t want to talk here, where your coworkers or some kids could barge in?” He’d made it a question, though it was a statement she agreed with.
“No,” she said. “That would be a bad idea.” So would going anywhere with him, but what choice did she have?
“I thought that’d be the case when I drove up the mountains to this area. I looked around for somewhere we could talk without anyone around—and you know what I found?”
She shook her head slowly, certain she wouldn’t like whatever it was.
She was right.
“I discovered an overlook, a really nice, remote ledge with a guardrail around it, with a view of the mountainside and Lake Arrowhead below. We can go there.”
Yes, they could. And it would remind her—and, undoubtedly, him—of a similar overlook they had adopted as their own in the Colorado mountains with a breathtaking view of a forest and a vast and scenic lake. A place that had come to symbolize their relationship, for every time they would go there it resulted in deep, heartfelt kisses that segued into nights in nearby hotels of endless, satisfying—completely wonderful—lovemaking.
“My car is nearby,” Brett continued. “You can ride there with me.” The unspoken threat, if she failed to agree? The challenge was in his eyes and became closer to being verbalized when he added, “I think you’ll find it worthwhile in many ways to come along, Gwynn. We’ll catch up on old times, then I’ll tell you something that you’ve probably never even dreamed of. That’s what my offer will be about.”
“Okay.” She tried to keep her sense of defeat out of her tone. “I’ll go with you.”
Chapter Two
The view was, in fact, spectacular.
Brett looked past the parking area where they stood, down toward the vista of thick green trees below, broken up by the brilliant blue of Lake Arrowhead, with its myriad fingerlike inlets surrounded by expensive homes. He made himself study it.
But his gaze kept returning to Gwynn. And that view definitely was even more than spectacular. It was breathtaking.
He was with her again after all this time.
Locating Gwynn Katian—no, Gwynn Macka—hadn’t been easy initially, even for him. He knew his way in and out of, around and through the internet. Prided himself on his skills. Though he had suspected immediately after she’d disappeared that she had used a false name, even that hadn’t made his quest much easier.
But he had dug in, given it his all, and found her—relatively fast, too, once she had settled into her job here.
His success had filled him with elation, and not just because he had proved his computer skills yet again.
And amazingly, Gwynn wasn’t all he had found. He’d had to examine every aspect of his life-altering discoveries. Then, in fascination, he’d immersed himself in what he’d learned before coming for her.
Now Gwynn stood within arm’s reach, almost exactly where he wanted her to be. Yet not close enough.
Not yet.
“Nice view, isn’t it?” He spoke calmly, but even so she flinched at the sound of his voice.
“Yes, it is.” She still didn’t look at him. She seemed to attempt to avoid any kind of contact or even acknowledgment of his presence.
But he? He wanted her in his arms, beneath his caresses. And more.
Just one more time.
Gwynn, though, appeared to stay focused on the scenery below. She kept one hand on the wooden guardrail facing away from him. He doubted that she was enjoying what she saw since her posture was rigid, and not even her head turned to indicate that she was doing more than staring in one direction.
Not looking at him, avoiding him as much as possible in this small but far from intimate area.
He had no doubt, though, that her thoughts, like his, were on the past, when they had visited a similar vista in the mountains near Denver, where they had met.
When they had been anything but remote toward each other.
When their initial sightseeing had led to hugs, touches and, ultimately, a rushed journey to the nearest hotel where they had made love for the first time.
It hadn’t been the last.
So what if she now pretended to ignore him? That caused him no pain. He was in charge here. It was time to remind her.
“Ready for that proposition I mentioned?” He spoke in a friendly yet remote tone. If he allowed triumph to sound in his voice, he knew what her answer would be.
What he would tell her actually would be of more benefit to her in many ways than to him. But it would be good for him, too. She had no idea yet that he had joined the military. He was now recruiting, and the more successful he was, the faster he could be promoted to higher ranks with greater responsibility and prestige.
Not bad, for someone who hadn’t the unusual background of those who rose most quickly in the unit he had joined and now revered.
Alpha Force.
“Sure, I’ll listen,” she eventually said, sounding as if she didn’t care in the least what he had to say. “What is it?”
In the past, she had always looked him in the eye, smiling, soaking in his words. Not now. She kept staring into the distance, her expression guarded.
“Let me give you a little background first.” He took a few steps forward to join her at the rail, ignoring that she moved sideways to avoid him. “You know, you didn’t hang around long enough to find out what I thought about the fact that you were a shapeshifter.”
He heard her draw in her breath, and from the corner of his eye he saw her cringe, as if he had struck her.
He forced himself not to move, not to take her into his arms for reassurance. She would only recoil even more.
But it was damned hard being this near without touching her, even knowing she had fled from him before and probably hated seeing him now.
At her silence, he continued, “I’d never heard even fictional stories of a shapeshifting cougar before. Wolves, sure. Even birds, from that classic movie Ladyhawke. But a mountain lion? At first, I was shocked that my lover changed shape under a full moon.” He purposely refrained from saying “the woman I loved.” He had told her that before he’d realized she had kept something so vital from him—and before she ran away. “But after you were gone and I had an opportunity to think, I realized how fascinated I was by it. Too bad you didn’t hang around long enough for me to tell you.”
He did pause then, staring at her still-averted face. Waiting for some reaction.
She turned then to look at him. The expression in her dark eyes was skeptical. “Fascinated how? Like you’d just seen a carnival freak show? Or some crazy sci-fi thriller come to life? Or—”
“You’re the one calling yourself a freak or unreal creature,” he reminded her. “Not me.”
He again wanted to touch her as she winced, but refrained. What was it about this woman that brought out all his protective instincts? He’d wanted to take care of her from the first, but that was because she had always seemed so vulnerable—before he knew why.
Even now, after she had accidentally revealed the truth about herself and fled—leaving him in bewilderment and pain that continued to haunt him in unguarded moments—her reactions still caused him to want to fix things for her.
Well, he would do that, but not in any way she might anticipate.
“Fair enough,” she admitted. “And, well, for whatever it’s worth, I do apologize, Brett. I never intended to get so close to any man—anyone at all—and yet with you…” Her voice trailed off, and he saw tears in her eyes before she again turned away.
“Don’t worry about it,” he said. “I was upset when you left. But after thinking about it, I understood why you left, even if I didn’t like it. And my amazement and fascination—well, it did turn my life in a different direction. I don’t suppose you’ve ever heard of Alpha Force, have you?”
Her puzzled expression was his answer.
“I didn’t think so. They work extremely hard to keep it secret. I work hard at that now, too. Believe it or not, I’ve enlisted in the military, Gwynn. And I’m going to tell you some pretty incredible stuff. First, though, you have to promise to keep it as much of a secret as your shapeshifting.”
“You’re in the military? That’s so unlike you—well, it’s unlike how you used to be.”
He swallowed his annoyance that she didn’t answer his question. “You weren’t who I’d thought you were, Gwynn, so why do you think you know who I am?”
Her smile was wan. “You’re right about that.”
“So, do you promise not to reveal to anyone what I’m about to tell you?”
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