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Can this single dad rise to the challenge?
Luke Travis may be a father, but he’s never really been a dad to Ben. When the nine-year-old enrolls at the boarding school where Luke works, Luke knows it’s time to step up. Except his son wants nothing to do with him. And then there’s Kat Molloy, the child therapist whose “help” conflicts with everything he believes about raising kids. Some part of him realizes they both want what’s best for Ben—and that same part of him wonders why he’s so drawn to Kat despite their differences. But Luke can’t risk letting romance get in the way of his relationship with his son...
“Ben’s been spoiled all his life,” Luke said. “That’s what his behavior is all about.”
“How do you know? How do you really know what his life has been like up to now?” Kat asked. “He’s only nine. You need to let him learn to love you, Luke.”
Their faces were so close that Kat could feel his breath on her cheek.
“That’s just it,” he murmured, his eyes soft with a vulnerability she’d never seen in him before. “What if he never forgives me and never grows to love me? Perhaps I’ve already lost my chance with him.”
On impulse, Kat moved closer. Cupping his jaw with gentle fingers, she touched her lips to his, and when his arms wrapped around her, it felt so right. His lips closed over hers, soft and yet demanding, and for an endless moment it felt as if they were one being, a part of the vast space and beauty that surrounded them...
But they weren’t alone. With a surge of guilt, Kat pulled away in panic, looking for Ben. What were they thinking?
Dear Reader,
Thank you for picking up my book, I do hope you enjoy it. There is just something timeless about the sea that draws us in. At times serene and breathtakingly beautiful, it can also be awe inspiring in its ferocity—dangerous, wild and untamed. A bit like life, really, I suppose.
I am so enjoying writing this series, Songs of the Sea, and I would love to hear your comments. You can contact me at info@holmescalesridingcentre.co.uk.
All very best wishes,
Eleanor
A Father’s Pledge
Eleanor Jones
www.millsandboon.co.uk
ELEANOR JONES was brought up on a farm in the north of England and learned to love animals and the countryside from an early age. She has ridden all her life, and after marrying her husband at just eighteen years old and having two wonderful children, they set up a riding center together. This is still thriving over thirty years later, doing hacks, treks and lessons for all ages and experiences. Her daughter competes at the national level, and she is now a partner in the business and brings her adorable three-year-old son to work with her every day. Eleanor’s son is also married with two children, and they live nearby.
Eleanor has been writing for what feels like her whole life. Her early handwritten novels still grace a dusty shelf in the back of a cupboard somewhere, but she was first published over fifteen years ago, when she wrote teenage pony mysteries.
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I would like to dedicate this book to my dear sister, Catherine, who lives by the sea.
Contents
Cover
Back Cover Text
Introduction
Dear Reader
Title Page
About the Author
Dedication
PROLOGUE
CHAPTER ONE
CHAPTER TWO
CHAPTER THREE
CHAPTER FOUR
CHAPTER FIVE
CHAPTER SIX
CHAPTER SEVEN
CHAPTER EIGHT
CHAPTER NINE
CHAPTER TEN
CHAPTER ELEVEN
CHAPTER TWELVE
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
CHAPTER NINETEEN
CHAPTER TWENTY
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
Extract
Copyright
PROLOGUE
NEVER HAD LUKE TRAVIS felt such guilt before—guilt that sat so heavy on his heart it weighed down his every movement. Waiting there for Ben, his Ben, the nine-year-old boy he had abandoned so many years ago, to arrive at Flight—the special school where Luke worked—was both the best and worst experience of his life. He’d never expected and was totally unprepared for this. And the sad thing was that he had no excuse to give his son. Luke had just been young and selfish and irresponsible, simple as that.
He sat rigid on the wooden chair, drowning in memories. Ben’s mum, Carly, so wild and so beautiful. When you’re young and impulsive, he told himself, sometimes you make crazy decisions, blame other people and just walk away. He knew he had and he wasn’t proud of it. But now he’d been given a chance to make amends, to prove that he could be a good dad. He intended, despite the self-doubt that haunted him, to do the very best that he could for his son.
Luke glanced at the clock again and again as the time crept nearer, three thirty on a sunny afternoon. At any moment his son, the son he barely knew, the son he had left behind by persuading himself that it was the best decision for the child, would walk through the office door. And Luke had no idea what to say to him.
Then the door opened, and there he was, walking determinedly behind his grandma, Mollie, his smooth, young face an echo of Luke’s own, but was filled with anger and aggression.
“Hi,” Luke said awkwardly, offering his hand.
Ben just stared straight through him, as if he wasn’t there. The boy was right to hate him because that was what he deserved.
And then for one solitary, fleeting moment, Ben’s mask of anger slipped. His jaw quivered as his head dropped forward, revealing his vulnerability, and Luke swore to himself that from this moment forward his son would come first. It was time to make amends, to come to know him and to earn his love, no matter how hard it would be.
Luke understood now, without a shadow of a doubt, that walking away from his son had been the worst mistake of his life.
CHAPTER ONE
A LOUD SCREAM took Kat Molloy’s attention and she ran across to where Tammy Nelson was rolling on the ground, clutching her knee. Huge tears rolled down the little girl’s cheeks as Kat gave her a hug. “It’ll be okay in a minute,” she promised. “Look, it isn’t even red.”
Tammy carefully stood up, testing her weight on her injured joint. “See,” Kat said. “It’s better already.”
Tammy smiled happily, rubbing away her tears. Then she pointed in horror toward the sea, her blue eyes wide beneath their frame of ginger curls. “Miss!” she cried. “Ben’s gone right out into the water!”
Kat’s heart leaped into her throat.
“Ben!” she yelled, spotting the boy’s slight figure heading out into the waves. “Get back here...now!”
Tammy and the two other children in Kat’s care, nine-year-old Johnny Cartwright and seven-year-old Angel Dunn, stood ankle-deep in the rushing foam that shimmered onto the sand, watching in awe as the blond boy with a wicked grin waded out until the water was to his waist.
Ben had been at Flight for only a couple of weeks, arriving just a week after Kat herself, but he had always been in some kind of trouble since day one. Unfortunately, it had made him quite a hero to the younger ones. With a sigh, Kat stepped deeper into the water, dragging her legs against the current as the boy waded out even farther, waving cheekily. A prickle of alarm set in. The cool water might look enticing, but the undercurrents here were strong, and beneath the waves lurked quicksands, which could catch waders unaware.
Ben splashed around, grinning mischievously as he lowered his shoulders into the rushing tide. “It’s okay, Miss. I can swim,” he called, his voice blowing away on the wind. “It’s easy—watch!”
Kat struggled toward him. “No, the current is way too strong. Get back here, Ben! Just paddling, I said.”
For a moment, the boy defied her, propelling himself through the water with flailing arms as the other children looked on in awe. Kat waded deeper into the rippling foam, calling his name with as much authority as she could muster, ignoring the icy water soaking her jeans.
When a tall figure splashed by her, she was surprised to see Luke Travis making a beeline for Ben. The waves he made as he passed knocked Kat off balance, and suddenly the sand seemed to give way beneath her feet. The water closed over her head, taking her breath, and she felt a rush of raw panic before she lurched back up into the sunlight, swallowing seawater and coughing.
Luke had grabbed hold of Ben and was dragging him back to shore. The boy struggled angrily as Luke dumped him on the sand, and Kat hurried across to check him over, ignoring her wet clothes. Her relief quickly turned to indignation when she realized that Ben was okay.
“I could have drowned,” she yelled at Luke. “And I had everything under control.”
Her voice was lost amid the cries of the gulls that circled above them. This wasn’t the first time Luke had intervened in one of her sessions. He seemed to show up at every one of her sea-or nature-therapy outings, watching her with the kids and butting in at every opportunity. Yes, he was Ben’s dad, and the assistant general manager at Flight, but she was the child therapist, and she knew what she was doing. Just because Luke was struggling to be a proper father to Ben didn’t mean he had a right to keep questioning her ability to look after his son.
And now, of course, he could justify his hypervigilance with this incident. It was just what he’d been looking for. Luke Travis didn’t believe she was capable of doing her job, and today had given him even more fuel to fire that belief.
Kat pushed her wet hair back from her face and headed toward Ben and Luke. Even though Ben seemed all right, she needed to check on him. She had no excuses; this was her fault. She was in charge of the children and she should have been watching them all more closely.
Luke was standing slightly apart from the small group of excited children, his arms crossed. She ignored him as she walked up to Ben.
“Sorry, Miss,” he said, his cheeky grin belying his apology. “But I did tell you I could swim.”
Kat glanced sideways at Luke; his frown of disapproval made her suddenly aware that her heavy pink sweater was clinging to her body. She clasped her arms across her chest self-consciously, realizing with a sinking heart just how unprofessional she must look.
“Are you okay, Ben?” she asked. “You didn’t swallow too much water, did you, being dragged through the sea like that?”
“I told you,” he insisted. “I can swim and I didn’t swallow any water.”
“Well, I’m glad to hear that, Ben, but there are going to be consequences for not listening,” Kat went on in what she hoped was a stern voice. “Right now, we’re all going to have to go back to school so that you and I can get changed.”
“Seems like that’s a good idea anyway,” Luke interrupted. “Before one of the children drowns.”
A red flush crept into Kat’s face as she turned to the children, who were giggling behind their hands. “Why don’t you all go and see who can find the nicest stone,” she suggested. “But don’t go too near the sea...or out of my sight.”
“I’ll win,” cried Tammy, already running off. Angel followed close behind, and the other kids joined the search. Ben, however, hovered within hearing distance of Luke and Kat, pretending to look at the ground.
“I had everything under control,” Kat told Luke. “Things could have gone much worse with three of us in the water. If you had to insist on monitoring my class, you could have stayed on shore and made sure the other kids didn’t run off.”
“I have every right to monitor all the children’s classes,” Luke said drily. “And to be honest, it seems your classes need more than just monitoring. You shouldn’t be left in charge of children if you can’t watch them properly.”
Kat fought to contain her anger. The last thing she wanted was for them to have a full-blown argument with the kids nearby. “What you are obviously trying to insinuate,” she eventually said in a low, steely tone, “is that you don’t think I’m capable of caring for your son. Who is clearly out of control. Do you think you could have stopped him from going into the water like that? I have a long track record of caring for kids and keeping them safe.”
“All I know is what I saw here today,” he responded. “And I will be reporting the incident.”
Kat bristled. “What did happen here today? As far as I’m concerned, Ben took advantage of the fact that I was helping Tammy after her fall and broke the rules by going for a swim. I reacted as quickly as possible to that, and I’d soon have had him back to shore if you hadn’t butted in.”
“I was only messing around, you know,” Ben said, surprising them both. “What’s the big deal? I was just having fun.”
Kat and Luke turned to him and the other children, who had returned from their rock hunt while the adults were arguing.
“It’s true,” agreed Tammy. “He likes having fun. Don’t you, Ben?”
“I like Ben’s fun,” added Angel with a gap-toothed grin.
Luke held Kat’s gaze.
“Nothing wrong with having a bit of fun,” Ben announced in a sulky voice. “You should try it sometime.”
At that, Luke’s face hardened. “Well, it looked to me as if you were in a very dangerous situation,” he said, resting a hand on the boy’s arm. “Having fun is one thing, but you must learn to obey the rules or you could get hurt. Miss, here, needs to apply a little more discipline, I think.”
“What?” Kat asked. “To myself, you mean, or to the children?”
“To both, actually,” he said. “Now come on, Ben. I’ll make sure that you get back to school in one piece.”
“We’ll all go back together,” Kat said, ushering the children toward the path.
“I hate you,” Ben muttered under his breath, pulling away from Luke to catch up with the other kids.
Kat’s heart went out to both of them. She knew Luke had only just met Ben, and it had been a difficult adjustment. For father and son. But Luke throwing his weight around like this was not going to help build their relationship.
Water dripped from her clothes, and she shivered. “Look,” she said, falling into step beside Luke. “Why don’t we just take a step back on this. No one got hurt and all you’re doing now is upsetting poor Ben.”
“Upsetting him?” Luke’s voice was cold. “You’re the one who’s upsetting him by not doing your job properly. Children need boundaries and discipline, and you don’t seem to know the meaning of either.”
Kat’s cheeks burned. She was not going to be drawn further into this dispute. Most of the children here had already endured too much conflict in their young lives. They might come across as tough, but they were so vulnerable.
“If you feel that strongly, maybe you should bring it up with Tim Ellison or Mike,” she said. Tim was the principal at Flight, and Mike was head of care. “They asked me to come here to run my sea-therapy course. I think you’ll find they’ll back me up.”
Luke glared at her. Determined not to be intimidated, she stared ahead and kept walking. “Look,” she said, “I’m just trying to do the job I know I’m good at, Luke, and that is to try and help Ben. Perhaps you should talk to Mike, though. No one understands the kids and their situations like him. He can probably help you—”
“What do you mean, help me?” Luke cut in. “With what?”
“With Ben, I mean—he can help you with Ben.”
A flicker of emotion momentarily clouded his features, and Kat thought Luke was about to lose his cool. For a second, his eyes held hers and she saw such pain in their depths that it suddenly occurred to her that maybe Luke Travis was scared...but scared of what? His steely demeanor returned and he looked away.
“Don’t get too far ahead, children,” she called, increasing her pace.
They all waited for her and Luke to catch up before heading onto the narrow pathway that ran up the cliff to Flight. To her surprise, Ben fell in beside her, his small hand shyly clasping hers. She closed her fingers around his, then glanced back at Luke. He was watching them intently, his mouth set into a grim line. She felt a jolt of sympathy for him. She couldn’t help thinking that perhaps beneath his tough exterior was a man who was more than a bit out of his depth.
* * *
WHEN THEY ARRIVED back at Flight, squelching in through the imposing front door of the large, converted country house, Hilda, the pleasant, round-faced care worker, was horrified by the state of them.
“You go and get a shower, and I’ll see to the others,” she told Kat. Luke had stalked off somewhere the moment they’d stepped inside. “It’s nearly teatime, anyway. And Ben needs a shower, too, by the looks of him. What happened—did you fall in the sea or something?”
Ben squirmed, shamefaced, and Kat smiled. “Something like that,” she said. When the little boy flashed her a grateful glance, warmth flooded her heart. Luke Travis might be his dad, but he was wrong about Ben. It was love the boy needed, not discipline. Shame he couldn’t see that.
Kat went to shower and change, unable to get the day’s events out of her mind. What had happened between Luke and his son, and how come they’d had so little to do with each other up until now? She knew the basics of Ben’s behavioral problems—he wouldn’t be at Flight at all if he hadn’t had issues at home with his grandparents, who were his official guardians. She just wasn’t sure where Luke came in or why he hadn’t been involved in the boy’s life until now.
Hot water warmed and soothed her. She stretched up her arms and closed her eyes, raising her face to the deluge, trying to relax. But Luke Travis’s angry expression wouldn’t leave her mind. His brown eyes had been so dark and fierce. What if he did complain about her to Tim or Mike?
Well, just let him try, she decided, as she piled her wet hair on top of her head and reached for a towel. She had done nothing wrong. She was here to do a job and she wasn’t about to let him interfere with her courses. She’d already proved that her sea therapy worked; getting children to understand nature, the constant, timeless rhythm of life and the tide’s ebb and flow helped give them a sense of belonging to something bigger than their everyday lives...helped them heal. Luke Travis should be attending her courses as a student, not as a critic; it might do him a world of good to stop and take stock of what really mattered in life.
It wasn’t until much later, curled up in bed with the moonlight streaming in through her window, that Kat’s thoughts went back to her own issues. Her past was always there, waiting for a chance to remind her why she’d started working with troubled children in the first place. And as she drifted to sleep, her subconscious took over, taking her back to the day when her whole life turned on its head, ripping away her childhood...
She was trying to hurry, but her legs refused to do as they were told, as if she was wading through water. Ahead of her the cottage she’d called home for almost fifteen years seemed to loom out at her, its windows strangely sad and empty when normally they shone, bright and inquisitive, as if enjoying their glorious view of the sea that stretched out before them to meet the sky. She had always felt that the cottage had its moods and today it was angry with her; she could feel it in her bones. And all because she’d stayed late after school for once, to play in the park with the normal kids who didn’t have to rush home every day to care for their sad, crazy mothers.
The song of the sea filled her ears with its familiar, rhythmic swish as she stepped through the front door. Her heart thudded loudly in the silence of the small sitting room. Her mother’s lumpy figure was slumped on the sofa, eyes wide-open, gazing into nowhere...
And then the screaming started, the screaming that went on and on and on...
Kat sat up in the darkness with the screaming still ringing inside her head. Guilt and horror seemed to pin her to the bed. She forced herself to breathe; it was a dream, just a dream.
Moonlight slid in through the window, calming her, bringing back reality. She’d never truly escape that nightmare, though; it was a memory. Her mother had died because she had left her all alone, upsetting the routine that kept her sane and sending her over the edge.
Thanks to all the counseling she’d had afterward, Kat understood that it wasn’t her fault and that she had to stop blaming herself. She’d been barely fifteen, a child who should never have had the responsibility of caring for a mother who was suffering from depression. There were times, like tonight, however, when the dreams came back to haunt her, casting out her common sense and forcing her to relive the agony of that day.
She tried to look on the bright side. The dream always reminded her why she’d followed the path that had finally led her here, to Flight. For she had been one of those lost, confused kids who had no stability in their lives. By becoming a child therapist, she’d been able to give something back. It had helped to ease the sorrow and guilt that she knew would hang over her forever, no matter what anyone said.
CHAPTER TWO
AFTER HER DISAGREEMENT with Luke, Kat felt relieved to be off work the next day. Determined to put their unpleasant incident out of her head, she decided to head down to the shore, hoping to get new ideas for her sea sessions. Despite her positive attitude, however, as she wandered along the line of flotsam and jetsam she couldn’t help but remember the threats he’d made about reporting her incompetence. She needed to see Mike and explain what had happened before Luke gave his version...assuming he hadn’t already done so. Even if he had, she could still share her side of things.
Kat turned her face into the wind and breathed in its salty tang, listening to the sounds and smells and waiting for them to smooth away her troubles. Today, though, her “seaside fix” just didn’t seem to work. In fact, it had the opposite effect, taking her back yet again to the bleak and empty phase of her life she’d tried so hard to forget.