Home is Where the Heart Is

CHAPTER FOUR

A cold north-east wind was buffeting her as Cathie stood anxiously waiting on Victoria station platform, pacing back and forth, and constantly glancing up at the big clock high on the wall. The train must be running late as she seemed to have been standing here for an awful long time, yet she felt more concerned about the coming reunion with Alex than worrying about the cold. Did she properly remember him? How well had she got to know him in the excitement of their love match? Cathie recalled a kind, gentle, handsome man, very polite and caring. Would he still be the same, or might he have suffered some injury that he’d chosen not to mention in the few letters that had managed to get through? More importantly, would he still love her?

Cathie had tried to look her best, dressed in a tailored navy jacket and skirt with a neat pleat down the front, over which she wore a beige raincoat to protect her against the weather. A wide-brimmed red wool hat decorated with a navy hatband sat carefully tilted to one side over her neatly styled hair, a matching handbag dangling on one arm, and warm red gloves. But what if he remembered her as being far more glamorous and beautiful, instead of homely and ordinary, which was how she saw herself now? If only the weather had been better, then she could have worn a pretty dress.

Just as she’d almost given up hope, a whistle sounded, making her heart bump as if in unison. Then the air was filled with choking steam as the train came puffing slowly along the track. She could barely see the passengers as they hastily disembarked, thanks to the smoke and the crowds filling the platform. Cathie could hear the cries of joy, and the clatter of heels as women ran to fling themselves in the arms of their returning heroes.

Then like a ghost emerging from the mists of the past, she saw a vaguely familiar figure walking smartly towards her. At first sight, Cathie didn’t recognise him as she was accustomed to seeing Alex in uniform, not this dreadful demob suit with trousers that didn’t quite reach his ankles, trilby hat and a greatcoat stripped of its usual army buttons and braid. Seconds later, he was enfolding her tight against his chest, smothering her with kisses. Her heart felt as if it might explode with happiness.

‘Let me look at you.’ Releasing her, Alex stepped back a pace so that his gaze could roam over her, taking in her rosebud mouth, flushed cheeks and sparkling hazel eyes before sliding downwards over her slender figure. ‘Even more beautiful than I remember.’

Glowing with joy, she gave her most bewitching smile. ‘Oh, it’s so good to see you too, Alex, I can’t quite believe you’re here at last.’ She whipped off her gloves and stroked his face as if to prove to herself that he was.

‘I’ve missed you too, darling,’ he said, quickly responding with yet more kisses, his stubbled chin scraping against hers.

‘I’ve got so much to tell you.’

He looked down at her, his chestnut brown eyes darkening with desire. ‘We have a great deal of catching up to do, not simply involving talk,’ he said, chuckling as he slid an exploring hand over her breast. ‘How soon can we be married? I can’t wait too long. I could eat you all up here and now.’

Cathie felt her cheeks grow hot as she gave a little giggle. ‘We can fix a date for the wedding any time you like. But I haven’t even met your parents yet, nor have you met my mother, which you are now about to do. Mam suggested I invite you for Sunday dinner, I do hope you can come?’

‘Not today,’ he said, looking surprised by the suggestion. ‘My mother and father are anxious to have me home. We’ll need to arrange that for some other time.’

‘Oh, of course!’ Even as Cathie agreed, disappointment bit deep in her. But then perhaps she hadn’t been thinking clearly. Naturally, his parents were keen to see their only son again, after all this time away fighting in a war. It was easy to forget that other families were close when her own was not. She also thought with some regret of the expense of the half shoulder of lamb she’d left roasting in the oven. ‘Can we at least walk some of the way together?’

‘It will be my pleasure.’ Linking her arm in his, he hitched his kitbag on to his other shoulder and they set off to walk along Deansgate.

Cathie felt a little downhearted that, even though she was his fiancée, she had not been included in his plans for his first day home. Surely on such a special occasion she should have been allowed to share it? In all the time they’d been going out together, not once had he thought to invite her to meet his family. Alex lived on St John Street, as his father was a doctor who worked at the local hospital. Unlike where she lived, close to the Potato Wharf district, it was quite a smart area even if it was still in Castlefield. Cathie couldn’t help but wonder if that was the reason.

For now though, she should be simply relieved to see how fit Alex looked, marching as if on parade, straight-backed with his head held high, if unshaven and his expression somewhat stern. All her anxiety and worries had evaporated in seconds on seeing him as, unlike Steve, Alex seemed perfectly normal with no sign of any injuries. After six years of war, being only nineteen when he’d been called up in 1939, he was now a grown man of vast experience. And if there was a slight sense of distance between them, surely that was to be expected after these long years apart. But it was wonderful that they were together at last. Her future secure.

‘I look forward to you coming some other time, at your convenience. I should warn you in advance that my mother, Rona, is not an easy person, being rather selfish, and very full of herself. She doesn’t believe in sitting still for five minutes. She has ever been obsessed with giving herself a good time, always going off somewhere: to dances, band concerts, pubs or horse racing. Having a bit of fun is how she terms it.’

‘There’s nothing wrong with that,’ Alex said. ‘I dreamed of doing very much the same when I was stuck out in the desert in Egypt.’

‘I’m sure you did,’ Cathie said, filled with remorse for having implied that living a full life was somehow wrong, even if she had only been attempting to explain her self-obsessed mother. ‘And we all had fun when peace was declared. Did you get to celebrate VE Day?’

‘No, I was still overseas,’ he responded grimly.

‘Oh, you poor thing. We went to Albert Square, everywhere ablaze with lights and hordes of people all dancing and singing ‘Roll Out the Barrel’, ‘White Cliffs of Dover’, ‘Bless ‘Em All’, and loads of other popular songs. It was fantastic fun. Manchester was so jam-packed with folk there was no room for traffic, not even the buses could get through. There were flags everywhere, posters saluting the Allies, fireworks going off. There were thanksgiving services at various churches, and the King spoke to us on the wireless. Oh, it was a wonderful celebration with dozens of street parties held over the next few days. Mam and I attended several, and treated ourselves by opening a tin of peaches.’ Cathie chuckled at the memory, preferring not to mention that they’d both also wept over the fact Sal was not present to share the celebrations with them.

Alex groaned. ‘We missed all of that, but I see us going out quite a bit over the next few months, to the theatre, dancing, concerts, all manner of stuff. Can’t wait to start enjoying life again.’

‘Of course, you deserve to after all you’ve been through,’ she said, feeling a little guilty that they’d been privileged to enjoy the bonfires and parties, and cheer as the blackout curtains were taken down.

Turning right along Quay Street, they walked in silence, Cathie’s mind racing as she wondered whom she could call upon to babysit whenever they did go out. Rona had made her position on the issue very clear. Would Brenda mind the baby for her? Maybe, on the odd occasion, as she was doing today, but Alex sounded as if he wished to go out almost nightly.

And when should she bring up the subject of little Heather?

Remembering what her Aunt Evie had said, Cathie decided the moment wasn’t quite right, as he looked so grim and rather tired. Which was to be expected as he’d only just arrived, and it would take a little time for them to re-establish the closeness they’d once enjoyed.

When they reached the corner of St John Street, he paused. ‘How would you feel about a night out at the Palais, or maybe the Ritz? Going to a dance is how we met, so let’s revisit old times.’

‘Oh, that would be wonderful,’ Cathie agreed, heart racing.

Then, putting his arm about her waist, he gave her a rather chaste little kiss as he smiled down at her. ‘More of this later, eh?’ And after agreeing to meet at the bus stop on Wednesday evening, he turned smartly on his heel and strode away, whistling happily.

Walking home alone, feeling just a little flat as this was not at all how she’d expected their first day together to be, Cathie deliberately turned her mind to what she would wear for the dance. It was, after all, something to look forward to.

‘How did it go?’ Brenda asked, when Cathie called to collect Heather following a Sunday dinner with her mother that had been even more dull and boring than usual. ‘Did Alex look as you remembered?’

‘Not quite, I almost didn’t recognise him as he’s no longer a smart soldier, a bit unshaven and shabby-looking, although he still marches like one. But he seems fit and well, which is all that really matters, and he still likes kissing me,’ Cathie added with a shy giggle.

‘Wonderful, and how did he react to the news about this little one?’

Cathie ruefully explained how she hadn’t found the courage to tell him, and how his plans for the day had not included her. She was struggling to keep her emotions in check, feeling a slight sense of rejection. ‘He didn’t seem too keen to spend his first day home with me. It was as if we’d just met and were strangers, not engaged at all. A really weird feeling.’

‘That’s not so unusual, darling. It must feel a bit odd to be back in Civvy Street. Another friend of mine said her husband went to the pub first, and was pretty drunk by the time he arrived home, somewhat later than expected. She was not pleased, but he claimed he needed to celebrate peace at last, as he’d missed all the street parties.’

‘I dare say you’re right, Brenda. Alex too is upset at missing out on the celebrations, and his parents haven’t seen him for a long time either, so his family should come first.’

‘Parents can be very controlling,’ Brenda sadly remarked as she slipped Heather’s chubby arms into her matinee jacket. ‘And his father, Doctor Ryman, does have a reputation for being rather grand. Some men tend to be that way. You should see how my brother-in-law behaves, as if he has the right to own the world. He goes on and on at me, constantly nagging and insisting I do whatever stuff he demands.’

‘What sort of stuff?’

‘Oh, legal stuff in the main. He’s so arrogant, but then my late husband did inherit the family estate, now in his brother’s hands. Anyway, enough of my stupid problems. I’m sure Alex will make it up to you soon,’ she said, giving Cathie a warm hug.

‘Oh, I’m sure he will,’ Cathie agreed, instantly brightening as she explained about the Ritz. ‘Can’t wait for Wednesday to come. Now what on earth can I wear?’

CHAPTER FIVE

The Ritz was every bit as beautiful as Cathie remembered, luxuriously appointed in red and gold, with its arched ceiling, two tier bandstand, tables and chairs set around the dance floor, and with a gallery above where you could watch the dancing. The band was playing Doris Day’s ‘Sentimental Journey’ as they walked in, which quite touched her heart. To her great surprise, in spite of the war having been over for some months, there were still many men in uniform, happily smooching with their partners to the music. Others were standing around eyeing up the girls and women who stood chatting and giggling at the opposite side of the ballroom.

‘I’m amazed there are still servicemen around,’ she said.

‘Maybe they are men returning home, looking to find themselves a wife.’

‘Or husbands who have left their poor wives stuck by the fireside minding the kids,’ she said, giving a small sigh of disapproval.

‘Which would be perfectly reasonable.’

She looked up at him, startled by this remark, but decided he must be joking. The next instant she was in his arms, moving slowly around the ballroom, and it felt so wonderful, her insides lighting up as brilliantly as that highlighting the band.

There were very few American GIs around, she noticed, or Yankee-Doodle Dandies as they used to be called. ‘This ballroom was once so popular with the Yanks, they called it the forty-ninth state,’ Cathie told him with a laugh. ‘Whitworth Street always seemed to be full of American jeeps, and MPs with red armbands and batons, whose task it was to keep the boys of Uncle Sam in line.’

Staring grimly down at her, he asked, ‘Did you used to come here and dance with them?’

‘Heavens, no! I was too busy working for one thing, and waiting for you, of course.’

‘Sorry, of course you were,’ he said with a smile that warmed her heart.

Cathie caught a glimpse of them dancing together in one of the many mirrors set around the walls. Was she dancing close enough in his arms, or a little more distant than that first time when they’d met at the Palais? Perhaps it would take a little while for them to relax together, as her friend Brenda had suggested. Still, she was here at the Ritz, in his arms, a dream come true. Cathie was relieved to see that she looked quite respectable in a pink flowered dress with a matching flower in her hair. Almost pretty. Stuck for something to talk about, she continued chatting about the way things used to be during the war years.

‘British servicemen outnumbered the Yanks, of course, but only just. I believe the ballroom did used to be packed with scores of excited girls throughout the war, all seeking their dream hero.’

‘That’s all women want from a man, someone to bring in the money each week.’

‘Goodness, what a thing to say.’

‘Are you implying that you want more from me than that?’ he asked.

‘Of course I do. I love you, darling.’

It was then, as the lights dimmed and the music changed to ‘If I Loved You’, that he kissed her, quite thoroughly this time.

‘We should come here more often,’ Alex said, when later he walked her home. ‘I love dancing with you. We could try the Palais again, and Belle Vue.’

Thinking of how fortunate she’d been to persuade Brenda to babysit for her, Cathie cleared her throat, then in a light, philosophical voice, not wishing to sound bitter, she hesitantly pointed out the poor state of her finances as a consequence of losing her job. ‘We women have been disposed of now that the men are coming home. Fair enough, I suppose, but money is a bit tight right now. I’m out and about every day searching for a new job. I dare say you will be too, once you’ve settled in.’

‘I’ll certainly be on the lookout for one eventually,’ he agreed. ‘Although I have my demob money to tide me over, and shall insist upon it being the right job in the right place. For now, I’m in desperate need of a rest, as well as a bit of fun. It’s easier for you as a woman as you won’t even need a job, once we’re wed. You can simply relax and return to your cosy domestic duties.’

Cathie chose to make no response to this, much as the remark slightly irritated her, as it had done when Steve suggested this might happen. It was true that some women were glad to be free of work at last, and more than happy to return to the comfort of their own hearth. But she was missing hers already after only a week of being unemployed. Sadly, Alex hadn’t even expressed any sympathy over her losing her job, and she really had no wish to spoil their first evening out together by pressing for her independence.

They walked on down Lower Byrom Street that had suffered badly from incendiary bombs, many of the houses now without fronts or roofs, as in Duke Street, where they used to live, and many other streets they passed. It was then that he suddenly pulled her into the shadows of a broken building and began to kiss her most urgently. ‘God, I’ve missed you,’ he sighed, when some moments later he finally released her.

‘And I you.’ Desire burned within her, tempered a little by nervous caution. This didn’t seem quite the place to be engaging in lovemaking.

‘You are so sweet I could lick every part of you.’

Cathie giggled. ‘I’m not a lollipop.’

‘Really? That’s a shame, because I’d love to eat you all up.’ He was kissing her again, this time her ear and eyelids, and then exploring her mouth with his tongue. As he bent to kiss her throat, she felt her senses skitter with longing, remembering how she used to spend wakeful nights dreaming of moments like this. Now, as his hand slid over her bottom, then down her thighs and began to inch up her skirts, she was filled with a flash of panic, and quickly put out a hand to stop him.

‘Sorry, but it’s been so long since we last kissed like this, I don’t want to rush things.’

His eyes were glazed, as if in some dream world of his own. He carried on touching and kissing her, not really listening to a word she said. Cathie could hear him panting for breath, feel the hardness of him pressed against her. Suddenly overwhelmed by shyness, and feeling slightly taken advantage of, she gave him a shove and eased herself from his arms. ‘That’s enough, Alex. We aren’t married yet, remember.’