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‘He looks great.’ Eden smiled fondly, because Ben did. Out of the hospital pyjamas and dressed in real clothes he looked just like any other little toddler, clutching a soft toy and dozing in his car-seat.
‘So do you!’ And there was nothing light or flip about Nick’s voice. His statement was delivered in a low, husky voice, and Eden jerked her head to face him. Even with the barrier of his shades, she could feel the admiration in his gaze. ‘You look stunning, Eden.’
‘It won’t last.’ Somehow it was Eden who managed light and flip. ‘My mum bought me some hair straighteners, but despite the promises I doubt they’re quite up to a warm, humid Sydney Christmas.’ She was babbling—terribly so—wishing Nick would just tear his eyes away, wishing he would start the engine so that she could remember how to breathe again. ‘Nick…’
CAROL MARINELLI recently filled in a form where she was asked for her job title and was thrilled, after all these years, to be able to put down her answer as writer. Then it asked what Carol did for relaxation and after chewing her pen for a moment Carol put down the truth—writing. The third question asked—what are your hobbies? Well, not wanting to look obsessed or, worse still, boring, she crossed the fingers on her free hand and answered swimming and tennis, but, given that the chlorine in the pool does terrible things to her highlights and the closest she’s got to a tennis racket in the last couple of years is watching the Australian Open—I’m sure you can guess the real answer!
www.millsandboon.co.uk
CONTENTS
COVER
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
TITLE PAGE
CHAPTER ONE
CHAPTER TWO
CHAPTER THREE
CHAPTER FOUR
CHAPTER FIVE
CHAPTER SIX
CHAPTER SEVEN
CHAPTER EIGHT
CHAPTER NINE
CHAPTER TEN
CHAPTER ELEVEN
CHAPTER TWELVE
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
EPILOGUE
COPYRIGHT
CHAPTER ONE
‘HEY!’
Coming out of his office, chatting away to a rather pretty, rather blonde physiotherapist, Consultant Paediatrician Nick Watson was flattened against the wall as Eden Hadley rushed past, visibly upset.
Visibly, because Eden was incapable of hiding her emotions. Along with wearing her heart on her sleeve, her expressive face told anyone who cared to look exactly what she was thinking, and right now it didn’t take a degree in psychology to work out that she was far from happy. Her pretty full mouth was set in a grim line and her dark brown eyes flashed angrily as Nick caught her arm to halt her progress. Her long, dark, chocolate curls fell out of her loose ponytail as she swung around to confront him.
‘Just leave it, Nick,’ Eden said through gritted teeth.
‘Leave what?’ Nick frowned, gesturing for her to wait as he said goodbye to the physiotherapist. ‘Thanks for that, Amber, it’s been very helpful.’
‘Any time, Nick. Call me if you need to discuss Rory’s ambulation programme further.’ Amber smiled and Eden felt her already gritted teeth starting to grind as the tall slender physio continued talking, completely unfazed by Eden’s presence. ‘In fact, call me anyway—I’ll look forward to it.’
‘Well, she certainly knows how to get her message across!’ Eden bristled as Amber waltzed off, her back impossibly straight, flicking her blonde hair as she did so.
‘She was just being friendly.’ Nick laughed. ‘Just what is it that you have against physios?’
‘Their glowing health,’ Eden moaned. ‘Their toned bodies and white smiles. I could go on for ever. I haven’t yet met one with a single vice. You just know that they’ll be tucking into a cottage cheese salad for lunch, know for a fact that they don’t smoke.’
‘Neither do you,’ Nick pointed out, and then shook his head. ‘Let’s not change the subject. This is my ward, Eden, and if there’s a problem I need to know about it.’
‘There isn’t a problem,’ Eden insisted. ‘At least, not any more.’
‘Eden, you’ve lost me.’
Taking a deep breath, she finally faced him. ‘Donna just called an impromptu meeting to discuss the revised Christmas roster.’
‘Oh.’
Instantly his eyes glazed over. The nursing roster was way down on Nick Watson’s list of priorities. So long as his precious patients were happy then so was he. But, Eden reminded herself, Nick was the one who’d stopped her, who had demanded that she tell him what was wrong, and Nick who had insisted that she voice her problem. And voice it she would.
Loudly!
‘This will be my second Christmas on this ward,’ Eden choked. ‘And now it seems I’ll have to work night shifts for both! Donna’s been hounding me to use up my annual leave as I’ve got five weeks owing. I was supposed to be having a full week off, given that last year….’ The spitfire that was raging was doused a touch as Eden realised the inappropriateness of this conversation, but Nick, with a very noticeable edge to his voice, quickly filled her in.
‘You had to work over the Christmas and New Year period because of what happened to Teaghan…’
Damn! She didn’t say it, but the word spat like a hot chip between them. Eden slammed her forehead with her hand, wishing she could take it all back, wishing that Nick hadn’t chosen that particular moment to come out of his office and demand to know what the problem was.
Eden had been so angry she’d chosen to take her fifteen-minute coffee-break away from the ward in an attempt to cool down before she said something she’d surely regret, but unfortunately she had done just that. The tragic events that had taken place the previous December hadn’t just affected Eden’s off-duty roster—the whole ward had gone into numb shock when Teaghan Camm, Associate Charge Nurse and fiancée to Nick Watson, had driven home after a night shift and apparently fallen asleep at the wheel. She’d suffered injuries so severe that she hadn’t even made it into the emergency resuscitation room.
Eden could still recall that morning as if it had happened only yesterday.
As the nurse in charge that morning, it had been she, Eden, who had taken the call from Emergency. She had heard how the vibrant young woman, who had left the ward only an hour or so before now lay dead a few floors below. It had been Eden who had located Teaghan’s personal file and relayed her parents’ telephone number to Sharon, the nurse supervisor who had been with Teaghan in Emergency. She could still hear Sharon’s devastated voice as she’d asked Eden whether she wanted her to come up and tell the staff.
‘I’ll do it,’ Eden had said, not wanting to but knowing Sharon should be there to wait for Teaghan’s parents to arrive.
‘What about…?’ Sharon had hesitated and Eden had been too stunned, too shocked to fill in the gap, just screwed her eyes closed as Sharon had stumbled on. ‘Nick has to hear this privately, Eden.’
‘I’ll tell him first, away from everyone else.’
‘Perhaps I should send up Brad, the emergency consultant,’ Sharon suggested. ‘Maybe another doctor should be the one to tell him—although whoever it is who breaks the news, it’s not going to change the outcome.’
Looking out of her office, Eden had seen one of the porters stopping to talk to the ward domestic, her shocked expression telling Eden that the unpalatable news had already started filtering its way through. She had seen Nick at a patient’s bedside, sharing a joke with the child’s mother, utterly oblivious to the fact that in the same building at that very moment, his young fiancée had lain dead.
‘I think I’d better tell him now.’ Eden swallowed hard. ‘The news just hit the ward. I don’t want him to hear this on the floor. Send Brad up, though. I’m sure Nick will have a lot of questions.’
It was among the hardest things she had ever done in her life. As a senior nurse on a busy paediatric ward, Eden had seen more than her fair share of tragedy, had sat more times than she wanted to remember with devastated parents as terrible news had been broken, had even delivered it herself when the occasion had merited it, but to survive she managed to retain some degree of professional detachment. Though tears were sometimes shed, they were always controlled. She constantly reminded herself that, as much as she was hurting, it was worse, far, far worse for the parents, and the last thing they needed was an overly emotional nurse.
But this was personal.
Very personal.
She hadn’t particularly liked Teaghan, had never taken to the rather loud, over-confident woman, but she’d never in a million years have wished this on her, and Eden was realistic enough to realise that her own judgement of the woman was probably tainted. Tainted by the fact that she, along with every other woman at the Royal, was just a tiny bit in love with Nick Watson.
‘Nick.’ He looked up as she came out of the office, gave a tiny questioning frown as she’d asked him if she could have a word.
‘What’s the problem?’ Blond, happy, smiling and utterly oblivious, he strode in, took a seat when she asked him to do so. ‘What have I done wrong this time?’ He grinned.
‘Nothing,’ Eden croaked, then cleared her throat, willing herself to get on with it.
They were friends.
Sure, she’d only been there three months, but since the first shift they’d worked together they’d clicked, gently teasing each other, pre-empting each other’s jokes, moaning together as friends did.
And now she had to break his heart.
‘Nick, there was an accident in the city this morning…’
‘Yeah,’ Nick moaned, ‘that’s why I was late. Why?’ His voice was suddenly serious. ‘Are there kids involved? Should I go down to Emergency?’
‘Nick.’ She halted him almost harshly, and as his green eyes met hers they widened just a fraction, perhaps realising that this had nothing to do with work and everything to do with him. She felt as if she were wielding an axe, watching him wince as each blow was delivered. ‘It was Teaghan’s car.’
‘No.’ He shook his head, absolutely denying it, but a muscle was pounding in his cheek, his jaw muscles tensing as he refuted her words. ‘She wasn’t going anywhere near the city. She’d just done a night shift. Teaghan’s at home, asleep…’
‘Nick, it was Teaghan in the car,’ Eden said firmly. ‘She was wearing her ID badge, and Sharon Kennedy, the nurse supervisor, has confirmed that it’s her. She was brought here a short while ago…’ She knew, because of her training, that there must be no room for doubt as you delivered the news, that words like ‘she didn’t suffer’ or ‘everything possible was done’ had no place yet in this horrible conversation. They had to come later. There could be no room for false hope. Raising her mental axe, trembling inside as she did so, Eden delivered the final, appalling blow. ‘Nick, Teaghan was pronounced dead on arrival.’
And she watched—watched as her words felled him. Watched that carefree face crumple before her eyes, watched as he seemed to age a decade in a matter of seconds. Every sound was somehow magnified—a scream from a child on the ward, a baby crying in the background, IV pumps singing loudly for attention, the linen trolley clattering past her office, the world moving on as it stopped in its tracks for Nick. She didn’t know what to do, knew there was nothing she could say that could make it even a tiny bit better. She crossed the short distance between them and put her arms around his tense shoulders, felt the squeeze of his hand as he gripped her arm, the shudder of his breath as he leant his head on her chest, one low sob the only noise he made. His pain was palpable and she held him, held him for a time so small it was barely there, caught him as he went into freefall, tears spilling out of her eyes as she witnessed his agony.
‘I have to go to her…’
The tiny moment to process was over, replaced now with a blinding need to see Teaghan, to maybe put right a million wrongs, to do something, anything. He stood up, dragging a hand over his mouth, swallowing back the scream he was surely suppressing. His eyes again met hers, tortured eyes that begged for answers, begged her to take it all back, to somehow erase what she’d said. But all she could do was stare back helplessly, tears spilling down her cheeks as she felt his devastation. Then he was gone. His arm knocked a pile of papers off her desk in his haste to get to his fiancée, the chair toppled over as he dashed past it, he collided with the porter who was wheeling the linen trolley. His feet pounded as he ran down the corridor and Eden just stood there, white-faced and shaking, not moving until Brad Jenkins, the emergency consultant, appeared grim-faced at the door, taking in the chaos Nick had left in his wake.
‘You just missed him,’ Eden said, the words shivering out of her chattering lips. She braced herself to call the staff in, to tell the rest of her colleagues the terrible news. ‘He’s gone to be with Teaghan.’
‘I’m sorry.’ Eden hadn’t said it on that fateful day, but she said it now, turning troubled eyes to him. Here she was moaning about the roster, and the fact that she’d had to work last year as well. It suddenly seemed beyond petty, given all Nick had been through, given what had happened to Teaghan. ‘That was absolutely thoughtless of me,’ Eden apologised again, and Nick gave a small forgiving smile.
‘So why do you have to work this year?’
‘It doesn’t matter.’ Horribly embarrassed, cringing inside, Eden made to go, but again Nick halted her.
‘Let’s talk in here,’ he suggested, gesturing for her to go into his office, but Eden shook her head.
‘The nursing roster isn’t your problem, Nick. I was just letting off a bit of steam.’
‘Then let it off over a decent cup of coffee.’
He walked back into his office, clearly expecting Eden to follow, and for a moment she stood there, not quite sure she was up to an impromptu chat with Nick right now. Since Donna had dropped her bomb about the Christmas roster, Eden’s emotions had been bubbling dangerously close to the surface, and fifteen minutes alone with Nick was the last thing that was going to calm her down.
Nick was the main reason she had wanted Christmas off in the first place!
A week at home with her family, a week away from the city, a week of horse riding and clearing her mind, far away from the pressure cooker she found herself in whenever Nick was near.
‘Eden!’ Nick’s impatient voice snapped her attention back. She took a deep breath and headed into his office, determined not to let him glimpse the effect he had on her.
Nick Watson’s ego was already big enough, without another boost.
‘Still take sugar?’ Nick asked, not looking up.
‘Please.’ Perching herself on a chair, Eden forced a smile as Nick handed her a coffee, pleased that her hands were steady as she took the cup. ‘I really am sorry about what I said…’
‘Don’t worry.’ Nick waved a hand as he sat down. ‘I’m OK.’
‘You’re sure?’ Eden checked, but she wasn’t just talking about her little faux pas earlier. ‘This time of year must be awful for you.’
‘Actually, no.’ Nick shook his head. ‘I’m too busy to even start feeling sorry for myself. There’s too many parties and dinners and, of course—’
‘Women,’ Eden finished for him with a slight edge to her voice, which she quickly fought to check.
‘I was about to say work.’ Nick grinned. ‘But now you mention it…! Anyway, enough about my social life. How come they’re making you work over Christmas again? I thought the ward policy was one year on, one year off.’
‘It was,’ Eden sighed, ‘until Ruth went off on early maternity leave. Apparently her blood pressure’s high.’
‘Apparently?’ Nick raised an eyebrow, picking up the tiny note of cynicism and Eden winced.
‘That sounded so bitchy, didn’t it? But I’ve guessed for months that she wasn’t going to make it to Christmas, especially given the fact that she was down to work night shifts on Christmas Eve and Boxing Day. Donna called us all into the office earlier and asked for volunteers to take Ruth’s shifts.’
‘I’m assuming you didn’t put your hand up.’
‘No!’ Eden took a sip of her coffee before she continued, ‘No one did. And then it started.’
‘What started?’
‘“Timmy’s only two” or “It’s Jamie’s first Christmas”. Even Becky, who’s supposed to be my friend, chimed in that it’s “Conner’s last Christmas while he still believes in Santa”.’ Nick grinned as she mimicked her various colleagues’ voices and a tiny smile wobbled on Eden’s lips. ‘I don’t have a defence, given that I’m a paediatric nurse on a paediatric ward, I, of all people, should understand that children want their mums to be there on Christmas morning so Donna asked if I’d mind working it.’
‘You could have said no,’ Nick pointed out, and then laughed. ‘Hell, Eden, why didn’t you just say that you weren’t prepared to do it? Why can’t you just say no to Donna?’
‘I tried!’ Eden wailed.
‘How?’
‘I pointed out that if I work a night shift on Christmas Eve I can hardly be expected to drive to Coffs Harbour on Christmas morning unless they want me to doze off at the…’ Her voice trailed off again as the conversation tipped where it shouldn’t. ‘Last year my dad drove all the way down to Sydney and stayed at my flat overnight just so that I could be with my family on Christmas Day, but it was just too much for him. It’s a six-hour drive after all—it was actually too much for me as well. We both ended up sound asleep for the best part of the day—just about missed Christmas altogether. I can’t ask him to do it again this year.’
‘What about your flatmate, Jim?’ he asked. ‘What’s he doing for Christmas?’
‘He’s going to Queensland for the Christmas break. Actually, he’s been trying to persuade me to come with him and his friend. Maybe I should tell Donna that I’m going to be away and take him up on it. ‘
‘Maybe you should.’
Eden pulled a face. ‘I don’t think so. There’s only so much damage one’s liver can take. As much beer and barbequed prawns as you can stomach isn’t really my idea of Christmas.’
‘You can’t be on your own.’ Nick shook his head, but Eden just gave a wry smile.
‘Believe me, Nick, I’d rather be. I’ve already had about three invites for Christmas dinner from my guilty colleagues…’
‘And?’
‘Timmy may only be two…’ Eden rolled her eyes ‘…but he’s an absolute monster. And as much as I adore Conner, I see enough kids’ tantrums in a day’s work…’ She gave a small shrug. ‘You get the picture!’
‘I do.’ Nick grinned back. And it was funny, Eden mused, that even after a year of relative silence they could slip back so easily into their own shorthand, pick up on the tiny vibes without explanation. ‘And I suppose the fact that Becky’s also a strict vegan had nothing to do with it.’
‘Caught.’ Eden managed a weak smile. ‘I guess if I want my turkey and ham, I’ll have to cook it myself.’
‘There’s always the canteen.’
The look Eden shot him wasn’t particularly friendly but Nick merely roared with laughter. ‘It will probably be in the high thirties,’ Nick pointed out. ‘The last thing you’ll want is a huge roast.’
‘Wrong.’ Eden pouted. ‘I love Christmas dinner, pudding, mince pies…’ She closed her eyes for an indulgent second, imagining her parents’ dining room at home, the air-conditioning on full blast as the table groaned under the weight of ham and turkey, roast pork, little sausages wrapped in bacon and mountains of Christmas crackers with their cheesy presents and even cheesier jokes. But Nick threw a bucket of water over her fantasy.
‘Well, if it makes you feel any better, I’d love to have your problem. I’ve practically begged to work this Christmas but the powers that be have decided, given my circumstances, that they know best, and that what I really need is a nice little break over the festive season with my family.’ Nick’s low groan told Eden that it was the last place he wanted to be, and she blinked at him in bewilderment.
‘But it’s Christmas!’ she said, and it should have been explanation enough, but as Nick just grimaced, Eden let out a wail of indignation. ‘It’s Christmas,’ she said again. ‘How could you not want to spend it with them? I thought you adored your family?’
‘I do.’ Nick rolled his eyes. ‘And they adore me, so much so that they want to see me happy, which I am, of course, but they beg to differ. Happy to them means…’
‘You can say it, Nick.’ Eden smiled.
‘OK.’ He took a deep theatrical breath. ‘They want to see me in a relationship!’
‘I thought you were.’ Eden blinked innocently. ‘With Shelly from Emergency—oh, no, sorry, I meant Phoebe from ICU.’ Another blink, a tiny frown as she tried to place a name, and she heard Nick’s intake of breath as he realised she was teasing him. ‘What about that intern—oh, what is her name…?’ She clicked her fingers a couple of times as Nick actually managed a small blush. ‘Tanya, that’s the one. Whatever happened to her?’
She already knew the answer! Nick’s initial devastation at Teaghan’s death had slowly been replaced by a curious arrogance as he’d headed off the rails, his undeniable charm working its way around the hospital and leaving devastation in its wake. But even though it was considered almost an insult not to have been dated by Nick during the last twelve months, not once had Nick attempted to cross the line with Eden. And even though she valued what was left of his friendship, even though the last thing she wanted was to be another of his conquests, Nick’s indifference to her on the romantic front was breaking Eden’s heart.
‘Tanya and I are just friends,’ Nick said. ‘You’re reading far too much into it.”
‘We’re just friends, Nick.’ Draining her coffee-cup, trying not to show just how much that admission hurt, Eden stood up. ‘Or we used to be.’
‘What’s that supposed to mean?’ Nick asked, but Eden just shrugged.
‘Nothing.’
‘It didn’t sound like nothing. What did you mean?’
‘Just that things have changed lately,’ Eden admitted. ‘Sometimes I feel as if I hardly know you any more.’
‘You’re being daft.’ Nick grinned.
‘Perhaps I am, but take it from me, what Tanya feels isn’t merely friendly, so tread carefully. Anyway, enough already about your love life, Nick. I’d better get back out there. I can hear the meal trolley coming and I’ve a feeling someone’s about to kick up a fuss when they find out I swapped her order.’
‘Priscilla?’ Nick checked almost needlessly, referring to a nine-year-old with a penchant for chicken nuggets. ‘I’m going to have to speak to her mother again.’
‘Well, tread carefully,’ Eden warned. ‘Remember that she’s a high-profile lawyer.’
‘So maybe she’ll appreciate some straight talking,’ Nick countered. ‘Hell, we’re so bogged down in politically correct jargon these days, so terrified of being sued, it’s a wonder anything useful gets done in this place; Priscilla’s a great kid, but unless someone spells it out to Rose, unless someone actually sits that woman down and tells her to stop feeding her kid rubbish, we may as well send her daughter home with a packet of cholesterol-lowering pills and a post-dated referral to a psychologist to deal with the issues of bullying.’
Eden shot him a worried look but, as politically incorrect as Nick could be at times, more often than not his straight talking hit the nail on the head.
‘The other kids are starting to tease her.’
‘If I were nine, I’d tease her,’ Nick moaned, and thankfully he wasn’t looking so he didn’t see a tiny smile flash on her lips as she pictured Nick Watson as a cheeky blond nine-year-old. ‘What the hell is Rose doing, calling her Princess in front of the other kids?’