Set a diary

Day 1.

Today is December 29, 2068, Thursday.

16:43. The diary was established on the recommendation of a psychotherapist for the purpose of keeping notes about my well-being. To begin with, you should make notes about yourself:

My name is Katsu Kunal, born on March 7, 2050, studied at the 7th stage in the class of the iconic image of a person, graduated from school in 2068, was enrolled by the education system in the institution of professional qualification as a teacher of logic and studied there until hospitalization, which occurred on December 25. At the moment, I am in the central hospital of 2053 in the psychiatric department with anorexia and suspected depression. At the time of hospitalization, my weight is 39 kg, and my height is 172 cm.

While at school, I attended a volleyball club and collected board games. and now I've lost interest in the things I used to do. I don't have any close friends, because I try to keep only business relationships.

This is enough to get acquainted.

Today for breakfast we were given vegetable puree, salad with chicken breast, herbal tea and a bun, I only ate salad, because of anorexia I eat every 2 hours 8 times a day, and it is tiring. I do not have time to go to my room after breakfast, as it is time to go to therapy to a psychiatrist, I return from therapy, I need to have a second breakfast, and after it begins a walk, then a snack, followed by quizzes or board games in the department. Only after lunch, during a quiet hour, you can relax, but this pleasant moment passes quickly, and you have to go to the second snack, take medication.

19: 38. I was signed up for volleyball so that I could quickly resume my interest in this sport. Now, due to my illness, I can only stand for the first 10 minutes, after which I begin to lose consciousness. I need to make more efforts to get back in shape, but I have no desire to do this, I would not even leave the room if it were not for the nurses.

In 28 minutes, one of them will come back to pick up for dinner.

22:13. That's enough records for today, I need to rest.

Day 2.

Today is Friday, December 30, 2068.

17:42. If Nurse Sophie hadn't reminded me of the diary, I wouldn't have remembered.

I don't want to do anything, but she won't leave me alone until I've eaten the broth or gone for a walk, and I need to thank Sophie tomorrow and play checkers with her. She likes it when I do "normal" things.

Sophie is the nurse in charge of me and takes care of me as if I were her son. She has been working in this department for more than 15 years and loves this profession with all her heart.

Breakfast in the dining room was rice porridge with milk, sweet tea and oatmeal cookies. I didn't want to eat porridge, so I had tea and cookies and went to group therapy. There we discussed fears, some talking about spiders and cockroaches, others about snakes and lizards, and others about the dark. When it was my turn, I talked about the fear of heights, or rather falling from it, but now I realized that more than death due to a fall, I am afraid of loneliness.

Lunch was a vegetable stew with steamed chicken patty, fruit salad, and apple juice, and this time Sophie was watching me, so I had to eat more than I wanted. It should be noted that it was really delicious. After the meal, the department organized a board game competition, maybe after a while I will have a desire, and I will join them, but not this time.

Today it was quite warm outside, so I went out for a walk with everyone (in fact, Sophie made me), yesterday it snowed, so today we had a large-scale snowball fight. The first 5 minutes I tried to take an active part, but realizing that I was already too old and slow for this, I decided to stand next to the base and guard it, leaving everything else to the young fighters, so I spent the remaining 20 minutes of the game, after which it was time for a snack, where we were offered yoghurts with different flavors, I chose mango.

Now we are going to the gym for another workout, how lazy I am.

Day 3.

Today is December 31, 2068, Saturday.

14:34. For the last month, my life has been separate from reality. I've lost track of time, and tomorrow is the new year. If Sophie hadn't asked me what I wanted as a gift, I wouldn't have thought of this holiday at all.

It was only during lunch that I noticed that there were only 6 patients and 12 nurses left in the ward. Everyone else went home for the weekend to celebrate the New Year with their loved ones.

Walking around the hospital, I saw that paper snowflakes appeared on the windows, and in the corner of the reception room there is an artificial Christmas tree, I do not understand when the staff managed to decorate everything, although it is pointless.

This atmosphere of the coming miracle reminded me of my school days, when there were contests and competitions between classes these days. My studies faded into the background, making room for the New Year's festival, where each class had to show a small theatrical performance (at least this was the case in the art image building, in which I studied for the 7th and 8th years). I don't know why, but I was always put in the role of the main villain, and my friend – my henchman. His name is Nick, and he's a year younger than me, which means he'll graduate next year. When we were in the same class, he wanted to become a fashion designer and went to additional courses for this. I hope the system will enroll Nick in the Criminal Procedure Code, where he wants to go.

19: 48. Instead of walking, the nurses suggested watching a New Year's movie and having a themed dinner with salads and tangerines, which I can't eat because of anorexia, so my New Year's table consisted of buckwheat porridge, steamed tuna fillet and seafood salad, which I don't like. Sophie left after lunch, so I didn't have to eat this. I drank the cherry compote and went to my room. While the others are enjoying the holiday, I'd better write down my notes on the missed lectures, they should have been posted by now. Then you can go to bed.

Day 4.

Today is January 1, 2069, Sunday.

19: 32. Sophie invited me to her daughter's birthday party this morning, and I agreed.

I just got back to the hospital and I'm going to tell you everything that happened.

In the morning, we went to the store for a gift and groceries. Sophie bought a shogi for me, and a pair of virtual reality glasses for her 10 – year-old daughter. Then we stopped at the bakery for a cake, then headed home.

It was a small 3-room apartment on the 31st floor, decorated in an oriental style. A small amount of furniture made it possible to effectively use the space, adds comfort, and in the corner of the living room there was an aquarium. The hostess entrusted me with the decoration of the rooms with balloons, and she went to the kitchen.

In our family, birthdays, like other holidays, were celebrated modestly. There was no special dinner or entertainment, we just got together and spent time with the whole family. Those were the best days, because I usually only saw my parents in the morning when I walked them to work, and I always had breakfast alone. When I think about it now, I wish I had spent more time with them, invited them to entertainment parks, cinemas, festivals, as others do. But that's not the point now.

Noticing that I often go out on the balcony, Sophie suggested that we go up to the top floor and enjoy the view from there, and I agreed. To get to the 360th floor, we had to spend 3 minutes, but the wait was worth the result. We had an unforgettable view of the city, the cars seemed like small insects, and the 50-storey buildings-like toys. After 10 minutes of admiring the view, Sophie said, " Katsu, you can come over if you're lonely, or you just want to talk to someone. It's your home now, too. By the way, I've already added your chip to the door's history, so you can come here anytime, even if we're not at home." I am glad that after my discharge I will not be left alone with the real world.

At 17: 36 we went to pick up her daughter, whose name is Diana. She had fun with her classmates at the trampoline center, where there is a trampoline instead of a floor on all five floors. I heard that in our city there is also an aqua center, in which the entire space is filled with water. Maybe I'll go there someday.

Outwardly, Diana does not look like her mother at all. She has dark, thick hair, brown eyes, and a lean and elongated body, unlike the plump and fair Sophie. But their character is identical.

During the festive dinner, they took turns pushing salads and sandwiches towards me. I was surrounded by care and attention, as if I was the birthday boy. Even though Diana knew my name, she always calls me "Onisan", but I still understood why.

After the meal, we decided to take a walk around the square, which, according to the princess (I decided to call Diana that), has an artificial warm pond where swans and geese swim in winter. It was nice to walk outside the hospital grounds, it seems like I haven't done this in ages, but it's actually been less than a month.

When we reached the pond with swans, Diana gave me a coin, which are rare nowadays, and said: "Onisan, let's throw them into the lake together, so that we can come back here again?" After finishing our walk around the square, we went to the hospital.

Diana demanded the address of the blog, but when she found out that I didn't have it, she forced me to register. Now she sent me the hundredth message about a hamster named Ricky who can do a somersault, and attached a video.

22:21. It's getting close to bedtime, and she's obviously not going to go to bed, so what am I supposed to do?

Day 5.

Today is Monday, January 2, 2069.

13:42. Today I had another body scan, according to the results of which my weight did not change, and psychological tests confirmed the presence of depression, so the doctor prescribed antidepressants and warned that they can cause a sharp weight gain, but this is even in our favor.

Diana will soon finish additional classes, after which she will go swimming and will be there until 18: 00, which means that I will be able to relax in the afternoon.

I didn't have to communicate with others before, and recently I have completely withdrawn from society, so talking to this little girl puts me in a stupor. In the morning, she asked, " Onisan, do you think we really exist? When I played in virtual reality, it seemed real enough to me to live in it, but if this is so, then why are people sure that they are in the real world, and not in the game? " – for the 4th hour I think about this question.

For breakfast there was oatmeal with honey and nuts, a cheese sandwich and milk, but I didn't want to eat, so I went to sleep in the ward, because at night Diana didn't go to bed until 03:13, and all this time I worked as a clown and entertained her.

For the second breakfast there was a baby puree of apples and peaches, after discharge I will eat only them.

19:47. In the end, I answered Diana's question like this: "We can feel sadness and pain, and if we were in the game, its creators would definitely not add negative emotions to make its characters happy", but she did not like my answer, in principle, as I did, but I did not find a better solution.

Day 6.

Today is Tuesday, January 3, 2069.

23:31. Ail, who had been transferred from the trauma unit because he had tried to open his wrists in the shower with the glass from the broken window to spill blood on a rose made of paper, was admitted to my room, but the nurses were quick to react and prevent it.