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www.millsandboon.co.uk
For Virginia Kantra and Tiffany Talbott,
talented writers and friends extraordinaire.
Special thanks to Ceci and Robert Kramer.
CONTENTS
CHAPTER ONE
CHAPTER TWO
CHAPTER THREE
CHAPTER FOUR
CHAPTER FIVE
CHAPTER SIX
CHAPTER SEVEN
CHAPTER EIGHT
CHAPTER NINE
CHAPTER TEN
CHAPTER ELEVEN
CHAPTER TWELVE
COMING NEXT MONTH
CHAPTER ONE
STANDING on the sidewalk outside the lawyer’s office, Kate Malone stared at the double glass doors. She still had a few minutes until her appointment. No reason to rush inside.
She raised her face to the cloudless, blue sky. The spring sunshine heated her cheeks. Sun kisses. That’s what Susan called them.
Susan.
The unusually warm April temperature reminded Kate of their college graduation eight years ago. She had approached the proceedings as a necessary step, one more thing to mark off her To Do List on the way to the top, but not her best friend, Susan. Unlike Kate, Susan had relished every moment of the drawn-out ceremony in the sweltering ninety-degree heat. She’d bounced across the stage, tossed her University of Oregon diploma box in the air and twirled around.
A smiled tugged on Kate’s lips. Susan always lived life to the fullest. Or rather…
Had lived.
Until a driver fell asleep at the wheel and collided head-on with Susan’s car two days ago here in Boise, Idaho.
Tears stung Kate’s eyes. Grief slashed through her. How could Susan be dead? Susan, so full of life, so full of love. Susan, with her adoring husband, Brady, and their cute baby, Cassidy…
All three had died in the crash.
Kate swallowed, hard.
No. She couldn’t lose control now.
She didn’t have a tissue. Or the time.
She needed to hold herself together during the meeting with Susan and Brady’s attorney. Once Kate checked into her hotel, she could fall apart, but not until then.
Squaring her shoulders, she pushed open one of the doors to the law office and stepped inside. A blast of cool air hit her. Goose bumps prickled on her arms. The sight of the empty receptionist desk deflated her resolve. Her composure slipped a notch. Now that she was inside, she wanted to get this over with.
“Kate?”
The familiar male voice made her stiffen. Jared. She wasn’t ready to face him. Not now. Possibly not ever. And yet she found herself turning in the direction of his voice.
As Jared rose from a leather club chair, her breath caught in her throat. He wore a tailored gray suit and the multicolored silk tie she’d given him for his thirty-first birthday.
Five years ago when Brady and Susan had introduced them, Jared Reed had been a twenty-something single woman’s fantasy. He’d gotten only more handsome. Kate’s heart thudded. She wished she still didn’t find him so attractive.
His square jaw and slightly crooked nose—from a snowboarding accident when he was a teenager—gave his face the right amount of rugged character to offset his long lashes and lush lips. She couldn’t believe how much his hair had grown in the last three months. Normally he went for the short, corporate cut, but the wavy, carefree style suited him better.
Not that she cared.
Much.
His hazel-green eyes met hers. “How are you?”
“I-I’m—” Her voice cracked. Tears blurred her vision. Oh, no. She didn’t want him to see her like this.
Kate blinked. Once, twice.
“I’m so sorry, Katie.” He was at her side in an instant and brushed his lips across her forehead. “So very sorry.”
At the best of times, she struggled to remain indifferent to him, but his tender gesture and simple, yet sincere words shattered her defenses. She sunk against him, breathing in his familiar soap and water scent, drawing in the welcome comfort of his hard chest.
Stop…now, logic shouted.
Get away…now, common sense cried.
But Kate didn’t want to listen. She didn’t care if her actions went against rational thought. Jared understood what she was going through. He was going through the same thing.
“I’m sorry, too,” she choked out. “It’s so…”
He wrapped his arms around her. “Horrible.”
She hugged him. “I keep thinking it’s a mistake or I’m going to wake up and it’s all been a bad dream.”
“Me, too,” he admitted. “As soon as I heard, I called your office. They said you were out of town.”
“Boston.”
“I didn’t want to leave a message.”
“I wouldn’t have gotten it.” She closed her eyes. Not being alone felt so good. “After my assistant phoned me with the news, I turned off my phone.”
“A first.”
“I hope I never have to do it again.”
He gave her shoulder a reassuring squeeze. “So do I.”
She stared at him. “I’m sorry I didn’t think to call you.”
“You wouldn’t have been able to reach me. I was in San Francisco. My boss had me pulled out of a meeting and relayed the message.” A corner of Jared’s mouth lifted. “Besides, I didn’t expect you to call, Kate.”
She flinched. “Why not? Brady was your best friend.”
“Susan was like a sister to you. How old were you when you met?
“Seven.” In a foster home. Kate’s first. Susan’s third. That had been so long ago. They had come so far.
“Seven,” he repeated. “You have to be devastated.”
Devastated didn’t begin to describe the anguish ripping Kate apart. She felt as if a part of her had died, too. She inhaled slowly.
Jared’s arms tightened around her, and she found herself resting her head against his chest, a foreign yet familiar position. “It’s okay to cry, Katie.”
She fought the urge to pull away. But she couldn’t. Not when she relished the feel of him, of the steady beat of his heart beneath her cheek.
“I’ve cried.” Kate didn’t want to sound defensive. It was the truth. She had cried. More than she would ever admit. She just didn’t like crying in front of others.
“I spoke to Brady a couple of weeks ago,” Jared said.
“Susan e-mailed me a picture of Cassidy on Thursday. She promised to send more.” But those pictures would never arrive. The baby girl would never grow any bigger. Kate smothered a sob. “I can’t believe they’re gone. Why them? Why now?”
“I wish I knew.”
“Me, too.”
But thinking about what she’d lost hurt so much. Too much. She’d rather think about something else. Someone else. Jared.
Kate curled the ends of his hair with her finger. It had never been long enough to do this before, and she liked the extra length. He brushed his hand through her hair, his fingers sifting through the strands, the way he always had. She nearly sighed.
It was as if nothing had changed between them. Kate knew that wasn’t true, but she wasn’t ready to back out of his arms.
For now she could pretend the past didn’t matter and ignore the future. She could do that because she needed Jared. She needed his warmth, his strength, him. And a part of her hoped he needed her, too.
He cupped her face with his left hand. She noticed the gold band on his fourth finger. Her ring finger felt conspicuously bare. She curled her hand into a fist.
“Mr. and Mrs. Reed?” a female voice asked.
Jared turned his head. “Yes?”
A cute brunette with short, curly hair and dangling gold earrings stood next to the receptionist’s desk.
Kate backed out of his embrace. “Actually I’m—”
“My wife. Kate Malone,” he interrupted, a slight edge to his voice. “I’m Jared Reed.”
Kate recalled the long discussions about her not taking his name. He had claimed to understand, to accept her decision. But he hadn’t. Not really. She shifted uncomfortably.
“I’m sorry, Ms. Malone. Mr. Reed.” The woman picked up a thick manila file from the receptionist’s desk. “Don Phillips is running a few minutes late. I’ll show you to his office once I drop off this folder.”
“Thank you,” Jared said.
As the woman walked away, Kate bit her lip. “Why didn’t you tell her the truth?”
“Because with or without your wedding band, you are still my wife.” His gaze hardened. “At least until the divorce is finalized.”
The receptionist led them down a hallway and motioned to an office at the end. “Don will be right with you.”
“Thanks.” Jared hoped the atmosphere in the office would be more comfortable than that of the lobby. But knowing Kate, he wasn’t going to hold his breath.
The woman smiled. “Let me know if you need anything.”
“We will.” He was tempted to ask the friendly receptionist to stay until the lawyer joined them. That might ease the tension between him and Kate. Not to mention the silence. Kate hadn’t spoken to him since he’d mentioned the word divorce. His jaw clamped. Maybe she’d forgotten she was the one who filed.
No. That wasn’t fair.
She’d lost her best friend and goddaughter. She was in tremendous pain. Who knew what was going through her beautiful, blond head?
Kate sat in one of the chairs opposite a large mahogany desk. With a posture that would make a charm school proud, she looked poised and in control as she studied the diploma hanging behind the desk. Not surprising really. Kate kept her emotions under a tight lid, and hated showing any sign of weakness.
Or at least had until today when she entered the law office on the verge of tears. She had looked so lost and alone. The sadness on her face had clawed at his heart.
Jared sat in the chair next to her and extended his hand. “You okay?”
She nodded once, not meeting his gaze. Maybe she didn’t see his hand, either.
At least he’d tried. Jared rested his arm on the chair. No one could say he hadn’t tried to save his marriage or hadn’t wanted to give the relationship another go. He had, and he would. If she would give him the chance.
Ironic, Jared thought. Brady and Susan had introduced him to Kate. Now their deaths were bringing them back together after almost three months apart.
The seconds turned into minutes. The only sound was the ticking of a vintage Felix the Cat clock. At least one thing hadn’t changed since the last time he saw Kate. The same stone-cold silence. They had been in Boise three months ago for Cassidy’s baptism. The weekend hadn’t gone well. Separation and divorce had been mentioned, but he hadn’t expected the call from her lawyer the next week. Ever since then lawyers had handled the communication between them. And that seemed…strange. Wrong. Yet Kate wouldn’t consider another option. He brushed his hand through his hair. “Kate—”
“There’s a reason I’m not wearing my wedding rings.”
Uh-oh. Jared drew a cautious breath. Words and actions could easily be misconstrued with emotions running so high. He and Kate were both hurting enough, but he couldn’t deny how seeing her ringless finger had affected him. “You don’t owe me any explanations.”
“I was afraid the ring would fall off,” she said anyway, still not meeting his eyes. “I lost some weight.”
More than “some” by the way she’d felt in his arms. She’d felt thinner, fragile. He’d chalked it up to grief. Now he wasn’t so sure.
Kate never went out without looking perfect—hair, makeup, clothing. She called it the “whole package”, even though she looked as beautiful to him in ratty, old sweats, a stained T-shirt and ponytail. Today, however, Kate looked as if she’d had to work harder on the package. And he could see the difference.
The energetic, multitasking dynamo, who owned one of the hottest and fastest growing public relation firms in the Pacific Northwest, had all but disappeared. Jared expected to see Kate’s normally bright blue eyes red and swollen given the circumstances, but not so wary, stressed, exhausted. Her sunken cheeks and loose fitting designer clothes went beyond grief, and the changes worried him.
“You need to remember to eat,” he said.
“I eat.”
He raised an eyebrow.
She set her chin. “I just forget sometimes.”
Most of the time. Jared used to text message her at lunchtime and dinnertime. Now that he wasn’t around to remind her, she probably didn’t bother to eat a decent meal. “You should schedule food into your day.”
“I do,” she said, a little too quickly. “Do you?”
“I don’t need to. I enjoy food too much to skip meals.”
“I don’t skip meals. I forget.” Her mouth twitched. “I don’t want to argue.”
She never did anymore. The only place Jared had seen Kate really lose control was in bed. “We’re not arguing.”
“Just drop it. Okay?”
He checked the time. The second hand moved slower than his niece’s turtle, Corky.
“Sorry to keep you waiting.” A middle-aged man, wearing a tailored navy suit and wire-rimmed glasses, burst into the office. “I’m Don Phillips, the Lukas’s attorney.”
Jared rose and shook the man’s hand. “Jared Reed.”
Kate remained seated. “Kate Malone.”
The lawyer sat behind his desk, and Jared sat, too.
“I’m so sorry for the loss of your friends,” Don said. “It’s such a tragedy.”
Jared nodded. Kate placed her clasped hands on her lap.
“Thank you for coming so quickly.” Don reached for a file. “I’d hoped to speak with you personally when I called yesterday, but under the circumstances I felt it was imperative to get you to Boise as soon as possible.”
“We understand,” Jared said. “Have funeral arrangements been made?”
“Yes.” Don pulled out a piece of paper from the file. “Mr. Lukas, Brady’s father, took care of that. A vigil will be held at the funeral home on Wednesday and a memorial service on Thursday. The church will put on a reception in the hall afterward. Then the bodies will be flown to Maine for burial.”
The lawyer made it sound so easy like a checklist.
“Susan…” Kate’s voice trailed off.
“What?” Jared asked.
“It’s just—” she tucked her hair behind her ears “—Susan never really liked Maine.”
“No, she didn’t,” Don agreed. “But she and Brady had their burial location put in their wills.”
“Oh.” Kate wet her lips. “Okay, then.”
“A situation like this is never easy, but fortunately Brady and Susan had the foresight to plan for such an occurrence.”
Occurrence? A chill inched down Jared’s spine. Perhaps that was legalese for death. Either way, all of this was difficult for him to hear.
“No amount of planning will make this any easier to deal with, but logistically, having wills in place will make things proceed a little smoother.” Don pulled out a thick document from the file. “I attended the same church as Brady and Susan, and I drew up their wills. Since they had no family in town, I kept the originals here in the office.”
“Shouldn’t we wait for Brady’s parents?” Jared asked.
“Mr. and Mrs. Lukas aren’t coming,” Don explained. “Although Mr. Lukas handled the funeral arrangements, their doctors felt the trip from the East Coast would be too much for them with their current health conditions. They received copies of both wills after they were written so they know, and agree with, what their son and daughter-in-law decided. May I proceed?”
Jared nodded. He watched for Kate’s reaction, but she held herself together tightly. This had to be tearing her up inside, and he ignored the urge to touch her.
“As you know, Brady was an only child and Susan had been in foster homes since she was five. They had no living relatives other than Brady’s parents.” Don’s gaze rested on Kate. “Though Susan considered you more a sister than a friend.”
Kate’s composed façade cracked for an instant. “I felt the same way.”
“The Lukases thought highly of you, Jared,” Don said. “Brady and Susan each named you their personal representative to handle their estates. Do you accept their nominations?”
Jared had no idea what sort of responsibilities would be involved as Brady and Susan’s executor, but that didn’t matter. “I’m honored and happy to accept. May I retain your services? I’ve never done something like this before so I will need your expertise.”
“I’ll gladly counsel and offer you assistance. The sooner we get started, the better. I would like to submit the wills and obtain your appointment as personal representative through informal proceedings. That way a hearing won’t be required.”
Proceedings. Hearing. Jared’s muscles tensed. This was too weird. A few weeks ago he’d been making plans to attend a poker tournament with Brady while Kate spent the weekend with Susan. Now he was overseeing their friends’ probate.
As Don scribbled notes on a yellow legal pad, Jared glanced at Kate. She acted like this was nothing more than another one of the endless meetings she attended, but he noticed her hands trembling. He wanted to pull her onto his lap and hold her until she felt better, until she smiled again.
“Once you’re officially appointed their personal representative, you’ll want to call a locksmith and have the locks changed on the Lukas’s residence,” Don said. “I can provide recommendations.”
“I’d appreciate the referrals,” Jared said.
“Why do the locks need to be changed?” Kate asked.
“We don’t know who might have keys to the house,” Don explained. “Baby-sitters, neighbors, housecleaners. The list goes on. You don’t want to chance a robbery. Unfortunately such break-ins have occurred.”
Jared pictured the two-story house Brady and Susan called home. The couple had been too busy working on the nursery to fix up the rest of the house. Now that task would fall to the new owner. Jared thought of his and Kate’s home, the hours they’d spent working on the old house. Kissing on a ladder. Making love on a drop cloth. Kate obsessing over paint chips. That seemed like so long ago.
Soon the house would be hers. He hadn’t fought Kate for it, even though he loved the home with all its creaks, foibles and bad plumbing. But his life was no longer in Portland. His life was no longer with Kate. He kept telling himself that, even though the words never seemed to make things easier. And he’d yet to fully believe them.
“Do I have your permission to proceed?” Don asked.
“Please do,” Jared said, grateful for the lawyer’s help.
Don shuffled papers. “And now Cassidy.”
Kate’s befuddlement matched Jared’s confusion. “What about Cassidy?” he asked.
“You and Kate have been nominated for joint guardianship in both wills,” Don said, but his words made no sense. “You realize, of course, you are under no legal obligation to accept the guardian appointment.”
Kate’s lower lip quivered. “I don’t understand.”
Neither did Jared. Guardian? Of Cassidy? But…
He shook his head. “There has to be some mistake.”
“I suggest clients discuss guardianship with prospective nominees before naming them in their wills,” Don added. “Otherwise the nomination can come as a shock.”
Shock didn’t come close to what Jared was feeling. “You don’t understand—”
“They discussed it with us.” Kate’s voice sounded hoarse, unnatural. “But Cassidy is dead.”
The lawyer frowned.
Jared reached for her hand and laced his fingers with hers. “The message I received said the family had been in an accident and the Lukas’s were dead.”
“I was told the same,” Kate said.
“Oh, no. There’s been some sort of miscommunication.” Don’s face went grim. “Cassidy was in the accident, but she survived.”
Kate clung to Jared’s hand. He understood how she felt, afraid to hope, afraid to believe the news could be true, because the letdown would be even worse.
“She’s alive?” Kate whispered.
Jared held his breath.
“Cassidy is very much alive.” Don set his pen on the desk. “She’s at the hospital recovering from her injuries.”
Thank God. An enormous weight lifted from Jared’s shoulders. He knew how much Brady loved his baby girl, how much Brady would have wanted her to go on with or without him.
Kate jumped up from her chair, pulling Jared with her.
Tears streamed down her face. She smiled at him. An almost forgotten warmth seeped into his heart. “I can’t believe it.”
He smiled back. “Believe it.”
She hugged him. The scent of her shampoo—grapefruit—filled his nostrils. Her mane of hair brushed against him and he remembered how much he’d miss holding her and touching her and loving her.
“Is it wrong to feel happy?” she whispered, her warm breath caressed his neck.
“It’s fine, Kate.” Jared held onto her. “I feel the same way.”
They both laughed, a sound he never thought he’d hear in the near future let alone today.
“I am so sorry.” Don removed his glasses and rubbed his eyes. “It was a difficult day yesterday. I thought I was clear on the phone but perhaps I wasn’t.”
“Cassidy’s alive.” Kate sat, but didn’t let go of Jared’s hand so he sat, too. “That’s what matters. Is she okay?”
“Cassidy is in stable condition,” Don explained. “The car seat seems to have protected her from more serious injuries.”
Kate sucked in a breath. Jared blew his out.
“What?” Don asked.
“Our baby shower gift was the car seat,” Jared said.
Don leaned forward. “Excellent gift.”
Jared nodded, but he felt strange. Kate had spent hours poring over catalogs and reading car seat reviews in order to pick the right one. He’d thought she was being obsessive again, but her research could have saved the baby’s life.
Her lips parted. Was she remembering?
How could she not? Cassidy was alive. Her parents were dead. And the little girl belonged to him and Kate.
Jared remembered when Brady and Susan had flown in for a weekend. Susan and Kate had spent the day shopping for maternity clothes while Brady helped Jared build a trellis for the yard. That night over a bottle of sparkling cider, Brady and Susan asked them to be the baby’s guardians. They told them to think about the request. Jared and Kate did and agreed the next morning.
But that was before. Before the separation. Before Kate had filed for divorce.
“How recent is the will?” Jared asked.
“I met with Brady and Susan a week after Cassidy was born.” Don got a faraway look in his eyes. “I remember them telling me this was the baby’s first outing since coming home from the hospital. Susan said she’d put it into the baby book.”
That didn’t make sense. Brady and Susan would have known about the marriage problems, about Jared living and working in Seattle and Kate in Portland. Something wasn’t adding up.
“What’s the problem?” Kate asked. “We told them we would do it.”
“This is a life-changing decision,” Don said. “Don’t rush. You have thirty days after we start guardianship proceedings to accept the appointment.”
“We’re not declining,” she said.
Jared agreed with her. Of course he did. But he needed to be sure this was what his friends wanted for their daughter. Guardians with a disintegrating, soon-to-be-over marriage didn’t seem like the number one choice parents would make. “Could you please read the guardianship portion of the will?”
Don paged through the paperwork. “Since Brady and Susan wanted to name both of you as guardians, I suggested additional wording to the wills, which they agreed to.”
That made sense to Jared, and he wanted to hear the wording. Especially since Brady and Susan knew about the marriage problems.
“Here’s the passage from Brady’s will. Susan’s is identical.” The lawyer put on his glasses. “‘If my spouse does not survive me and if at the time of my death any of my children are minors or under a legal disability, I appoint Jared Reed and Kate Malone to act jointly as the guardian of each child who is a minor or under a legal disability so long as Jared Reed and Kate Reed are both then living and married on the date of such appointment.’”