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Annie froze as he moved one hand, his palm cupping her cheek, the caress of his fingers sending a trail of heat across her skin and firing every nerve-ending to zinging awareness.
His thumb under her chin tilted her face up until she could no longer avoid his gaze.
‘How is it possible that you are even more beautiful than ever?’
His husky words sent waves of arousal washing through her, tightening her insides and speeding her pulse. Every part of her was on red alert, his touch, his nearness, his musky male scent all combining to rob her of common sense and strip away her resistance.
‘Nathan…’
Her warning stalled, his name escaping on a whisper of breath rather than sounding like the denial she had intended. And when the pad of his thumb grazed across the swell of her lower lip she couldn’t maintain coherent thought. Instead, her traitorous lips parted in eager anticipation when his own brushed across them. She responded instinctively as his mouth captured hers, demanding, needy, plunging her back into the once familiar abyss of heady excitement and unquenchable desire.
Annie had forgotten how incredible Nathan’s seductive, erotic kisses were. No, that was wrong. She hadn’t forgotten…
Praise for Medical™ Romance author Margaret McDonagh:
‘This is such a beautiful, wonderfully told and poignant story that I truly didn’t want it to end. Margaret McDonagh is an exceptional writer of romantic fiction, and with VIRGIN MIDWIFE, PLAYBOY DOCTOR she will tug at your heartstrings, make you cry, and leave you breathless!’
—The Pink Heart Society Reviews
‘Romance does not get any better than this! Margaret McDonagh is a writer readers can always count on to deliver a story that’s poignant, emotional and spellbinding, and AN ITALIAN AFFAIR is no exception!’
—CataRomance.com
Margaret McDonagh says of herself: ‘I began losing myself in the magical world of books from a very young age, and I always knew that I had to write, pursuing the dream for over twenty years, often with cussed stubbornness in the face of rejection letters! Despite having numerous romance novellas, short stories and serials published, the news that my first “proper book” had been accepted by Harlequin Mills & Boon for their Medical™ Romance line brought indescribable joy! Having a passion for learning makes researching an involving pleasure, and I love developing new characters, getting to know them, setting them challenges to overcome. The hardest part is saying goodbye to them, because they become so real to me. And I always fall in love with my heroes! Writing and reading books, keeping in touch with friends, watching sport and meeting the demands of my four-legged companions keeps me well occupied. I hope you enjoy reading this book as much as I loved writing it.’
www.margaretmcdonagh.com
margaret. mcdonagh@yahoo.co.uk
Dear Reader
I was starting to write Nathan and Annie’s story when I was invited to take part in some special projects to celebrate Mills & Boon’s centenary in 2008.
Nathan was left pacing restlessly in my mind, demanding I get down to the business of reuniting him with Annie, his heroine, who has appeared as a secondary character in several of my previous Medicals™. But Annie doesn’t want a reunion with the man she once loved beyond reason—the man she thinks rejected her five years ago.
Now Nathan and Annie must work together as dedicated A&E doctors. Although Annie tries to keep Nathan at bay, she is forced to confront the past and her role in it, discovering that her reality is distorted. As the truth becomes clear, Annie’s plans backfire on her—and then an event threatens to change her life for ever. Is it too late for them, or can Nathan and Annie have a second chance at love?
It is wonderful to be back in my fictional world of Strathlochan again, catching up with old friends and making new ones. I hope you will enjoy Nathan and Annie’s story…and return to visit the folk in Strathlochan again very soon.
Love
Margaret
www.margaretmcdonagh.com
BY
MARGARET McDONAGH
To Christina Jones and Maggie Kingsley —my deadline buddies— thank you for all the support and encouragement
And to Dr Nick Edwards—thanks for your help and for your wonderful book, In Stitches, which is funny, moving and thought-provoking
CHAPTER ONE
‘HAVE you seen him yet, Annie?’
Dr Annie Webster glanced round in response to the question and stifled a groan at the hungry anticipation on Olivia Barr’s heavily made-up face. The trauma nurse— famous for her short attention span and her even shorter skirts—was staring out of the ground floor staffroom window which overlooked the car park outside the casualty department at Strathlochan Hospital. Accustomed to her ways, the handful of other staff present paid Olivia no mind.
‘Seen who?’ Annie queried, feigning interest as she poured herself a fortifying cup of coffee which she just had time to savour before her shift in A and E began.
‘The new doctor. He started yesterday. But you were off then, weren’t you?’ Thickly kohled brown eyes glittered as Olivia assessed her for a moment before dismissing her. She teased artfully placed strands of short, bleached blonde hair across her forehead and resumed her watch from the window. ‘Here comes his car now. Oh, yes! Talk about sexy. Wait until you see the body on this man!’
Annie expected the woman to start drooling any moment. As one of the other nurses nearby rolled her eyes behind Olivia’s back, Annie stifled a laugh. Olivia’s reputation as a man eater was well earned, and she went after anyone who took her fancy with frightening zest. Olivia might have her moments as a good trauma nurse, but Annie disapproved of her obvious, often embarrassing crushes on male visitors and colleagues. Fortunately for all concerned these never lasted long—her interest rarely being reciprocated—before she moved on to the next man to catch her eye. Unfortunately these distractions often affected her concentration and, worst of all, her patient care—something Annie could not ignore or forgive.
‘I’ve found out he’s not married but I know precious little else about him…yet.’ Olivia’s scarlet-painted mouth set in an unattractive sulky moue of displeasure. ‘So far he’s been difficult to pin down and has refused to answer my questions.’
Annie didn’t blame the guy. Clearly this new doctor had his wits about him if he had summed Olivia up on day one and managed to maintain his distance. The woman was nothing if not persistent in pursuit of what she wanted.
‘I don’t plan to let this one slip through my fingers. He’s something else.’ Olivia rubbed her hands together, looking for all the world like a predator in pursuit of its prey and preparing an imminent ambush.
Shaking her head, Annie cupped her coffee mug, warming her hands as she crossed the room, curiosity drawing her to peep out of the window to see the new man who was the latest to capture Olivia’s attention. It was a cold, grey January day, and a misty drizzle coated the landscape. Low cloud blocked out the hills and the view of the loch in the valley below, around two banks of which the expanding town of Strathlochan sprawled. Although there had been much less snow than last winter, frosty nights were following wet days and the subsequent icy conditions kept the A and E department busy, dealing with injuries from both road accidents and fallen pedestrians.
Annie’s attention returned to the car outside as a blatantly male figure emerged. An inexplicable shiver of unease tingled down her spine. The man had his back to them as he locked the driver’s door, his athletically muscled frame encased in jeans and a well-worn leather jacket. As he walked towards the building with a loose-limbed stride, his warm breath vapourising in the frigid air, the wind teased his dark hair and he turned his head, raising a hand to brush the wayward strands back from his face, giving Annie her first proper glimpse of him.
Shocked, she stepped back from the window, struggling to contain her horrified gasp as recognition slammed into her. The disturbingly familiar body and the patrician profile were unforgettable.
For a breathless moment Annie was sure she had to be hallucinating. A tremor rippled through her. No! No way could Nathan Shepherd be here. Not at her hospital. It was a trick of the light or some unaccountable blip in her imagination. It wasn’t true. Nathan was not in Strathlochan.
Trying to steady her breathing and ignore the way her heart was thudding wildly in her chest, she turned away, deaf to Olivia’s excited appraisal and the chatty greetings as more staff arrived for their shifts.
With shaky fingers Annie set down her still-full mug, her need for caffeine forgotten, and left the staffroom. She walked partway down the corridor and stopped to peer round the corner. The transparent Plexiglas panels in the rubber swing doors leading to the busy A and E department allowed her a better view of the man who now stood at the reception counter.
There was no mistaking that strong, handsome face and sexy body. Nathan was in Strathlochan. And, judging by the way he was looking over a set of notes and giving advice to one of the nurses, and the official ID tag hanging around his neck, it was true he was here to work. In her department! Hell and damnation. Every part of her quivering with shock and alarm, Annie leaned against the wall, her breath locked in her throat, her fingers clenched into fists at her sides. What was she going to do?
‘Annie, are you all right?’ An older nurse, in the process of bringing a patient in a wheelchair back from the radiology department, if the large envelope containing X-ray images was any guide, paused at the swing doors.
‘Sorry?’ Annie blinked, focusing on the matronly woman’s concerned face. ‘Um, yes. I’m fine, Gail.’ She flinched at the lie, knowing she was anything but fine. ‘Thanks.’
Gail smiled and nodded towards the bustling reception area. ‘Quite something, isn’t he?’
‘I beg your pardon?’
‘Our new doctor. Nathan Shepherd. He’s taken over while Trevor Wilkinson is on long-term sick leave. Started yesterday. He’s quite reserved but an excellent doctor. And very easy on the eyes! He made a real impact with both staff and patients. Especially Olivia…but that doesn’t surprise anyone!’ Gail grinned conspiratorially before pushing through the doors and wheeling her charge towards the plaster room.
The sound of Gail’s footsteps and the noisy hum of the department receded as the doors closed, but it took Annie a moment to move. Oh, God! Battling a fresh wave of shock, she hurried to the ladies’ restroom, went into a cubicle and shut the door, needing privacy. In a daze, she sat down. This wasn’t a dream from which she was about to wake up. It was a nightmare. And far, far too real.
‘No! No, no, no…’ Annie bent forward and buried her face in her hands. ‘This cannot be happening. How can fate be so cruel?’
Nathan was here and she was going to have to see him, talk to him, work with him. Sitting back, she closed her eyes and pressed the heel of one hand to the pain that now gripped her chest. Nathan Shepherd. The man she had expected to marry. The man she had determined would be the father of her children. The man she had loved more than she had imagined it was possible to love anyone. The man who had rejected her and broken her heart five years ago.
Now he had reappeared unexpectedly in her life, and one brief sight of him gave the lie to any belief that she had forgotten about him—had recovered from him. One look had brought back all the pain, all the love, all the hurt, all the memories. It was as if the years had been stripped away and every feeling, every nerve-ending, was exposed and raw again. She realised with sick despair that there had been nothing but a temporary sticking plaster masking her wounds, lulling her into a false sense of security. In one unguarded moment the covering had been cruelly ripped off to reveal how little she had healed, leaving her open, hurting, vulnerable.
Nathan’s arrival in Strathlochan was a disaster of unimaginable proportions. Annie wrapped her arms around her midriff, seeking comfort as wave after wave of memories washed over her in an unstoppable tide. When she heard the outer door open, to admit a couple of laughing women, she clamped one hand over her mouth to stifle the moan of anguish her recollections had produced.
Nathan…
Shaking, she sat in silence, anxious not to be discovered, breathing a sigh of relief as the two women shut off the water taps, finished whatever they were doing and left the cloakroom. The door closed on more of their carefree laughter. Annie doubted she would ever feel so light-hearted again.
The hours of her shift stretched ahead like the worst kind of punishment, and she wished she could hide out in this cubicle until it was time to go home. But she couldn’t shirk her responsibilities. Patients needed her. Colleagues depended on her. She wouldn’t let them down. And she could not allow Nathan’s presence in the department to turn her back into the broken person she had been when she had arrived in Strathlochan after their break-up. A break-up that had followed just a few months after the sudden and unexpected death of her beloved father, when she had already been so vulnerable. She was stronger now—more confident, more mature, successful in her career. It had been a hard slog, but she had done it. Whatever it cost her, Nathan would not take that progress away from her as he had taken away her dreams.
Knowing that someone else could come into the restroom at any moment, Annie forced herself to move. Her heart thudded against her ribs as she left the cubicle and checked her appearance in the mirror. She was determined to maintain a cool façade, despite the nerves that were tangling inside her, making her feel sick and unsteady. But Nathan would never know what seeing him again did to her. Somehow she would survive this shift, and then she would decide what to do. For once she gave thanks for Olivia’s excesses. The nurse had unwittingly alerted her to Nathan’s presence, giving her some time to prepare. Better this than the shock of coming face to face with him without prior warning.
Glancing at her watch, she groaned. It was time for the shift hand-over. Unable to linger indefinitely, she sucked in a deep, steadying breath, raised her chin in defiance, then opened the door and walked down the short corridor to confront her past.
Despite her good intentions, her steps faltered when she spotted Nathan on the far side of the group of staff gathered around senior consultant Robert Mowbray. Nathan had changed into the customary green scrubs worn by doctors in the department. A stethoscope was looped around his neck over his photo ID badge, drawing attention to his strong shoulders and broad chest. Thankful to hang back, sheltered from Nathan’s view by a crush of other colleagues, Annie endeavoured to concentrate as members of the previous shift detailed the patients still being cared for within the department.
Unsettled, she adjusted her position until she was able to observe Nathan without him being aware of her. Her chest tightened and her heart gave an irregular and worrisome flip as she assessed her former lover, taking in his familiar stance and the intentness of his expression as he jotted down some notes. She was unsurprised by his thoroughness. Nathan had always been dedicated to patient care. It was one of the many things she had admired… loved…about him. The pain inside her intensified. Her traitorous gaze drank him in, as if needing to quench an endless and long-endured thirst.
His dark brown hair was as rakish as ever—untamed and in need of a cut. She remembered what it had been like to sink her fingers into that hair, could almost feel again the luxuriant silken thickness of it against her skin. As she watched, he raised a hand and absently brushed a fallen lock back from his brow. Strong, capable hands. Hands that could heal. Hands that could bring unimaginable pleasure. Another shiver rippled through her as she remembered the caress of those hands on her body, the brush and stroke of those clever fingers over super-sensitive skin.
She remembered, too, how slumberous dark eyes framed by impossibly long lashes had turned almost black with hot passion when he’d made love to her. And, oh, how he had made love to her! Intensely, wickedly, gloriously, end-lessly…with generosity, fire, sinful inventiveness and a single-minded dedication to meet her every need and leave her boneless, breathless and deliciously satisfied. Every feminine part of her tightened, a desperate ache of want lodging deep inside her. She closed her eyes, trying to fight back the erotic memories. But it didn’t help. They were impinged on her brain for ever, and even five years of separation and determined efforts to forget him had not worked.
Nathan was the same, yet different. He had always been impressive to look at, but the past years had seen his six-foot-two-inch body harden and mature even more, while his face appeared leaner, more angular, but just as devastatingly arresting. He had a presence, a latent sexuality that was impossible to ignore, and he was way too handsome and compelling for her peace of mind. Yet he had also been quiet and reserved, mysterious, unapproachable, allowing few people close enough to glimpse the real man hidden inside. A caring man, dedicated to his job, serious and watchful, with a smile all the more heart-stopping for its recipient because of its rarity. At least that was how she had felt. And at one time those special smiles and all that intensity had been for her and her alone—until the fateful moment it had all blown up in her face and their relationship had been over.
Smarting with fresh pain, Annie wondered how Nathan would feel when he discovered she was here. Thankfully, she had the advantage of knowing what was to come. Would he be as shocked and disturbed as she had been at her first sight of him? Would his body feel the unwanted yet instinctive reaction to her presence as hers did to his? Would he feel anything after five years? He’d rejected her, after all.
She had no more time to ponder on her questions as the consultant chose that moment to dismiss the group and her musings were curtailed. He looked up, saw her, and beckoned for her to join him.
‘Annie, could you stay back a moment, please?’ Robert Mowbray requested, earning her a fulminating, envious glare from Olivia as the nurse flounced away.
As the other staff dispersed, to tend to their assigned patients and assist the new ones arriving all the time, Annie fought a fresh welling of panic and reluctantly walked forward. If she had been in trouble before, meeting Nathan’s dark gaze set off an internal earthquake, way off the Richter scale, rocking her to her foundations. She felt weak, shaken, challenged. Immediately she realised she did not have the upper hand at all. Nathan looked far from surprised to see her. He watched her, silent, unreadable, in control. A barely there, secret smile tipped one corner of his sensual mouth, stirring her blood, tangling her nerves into knots and making her feel in imminent danger of losing her senses. Deliberately she looked away and focused on Robert, desperate for something—anything—to ground her back in reality.
‘Nathan, this is Dr Annie Webster—one of our specialist registrars.’ As the consultant, short, stocky and approaching retirement age, introduced them, Annie was relieved that he appeared unaware of any past history between Nathan and herself. ‘Annie, meet our new Senior House Officer, Nathan Shepherd.’
Surprise held her silent for several moments. Surprise because, whatever else had passed between them on a personal level, she knew that Nathan was an amazing doctor. Not only was he academically brilliant—she had achieved far more in medical school thanks to Nathan’s help with her studies than she ever would have alone—but he was also someone who had a natural empathy with patients. They trusted him and, however awkward and aloof he seemed in social settings, he had an innate ability to set those in his care at ease.
Knowing he was a vastly better doctor than she could ever hope to be, he should be way ahead of her in qualifications by now. Especially as he had been so focused, so dedicated. Wasn’t that why he had not wanted to commit to her or to their relationship? It didn’t make sense that she had recently achieved her specialist registrar status while he was still an SHO. Why? What had happened to hold him back? Not that it was any of her business. She didn’t want to know, she assured herself. But still…
A discreet cough from Robert Mowbray brought her mind back to the present uncomfortable situation. ‘Annie?’
‘Yes.’ She battled to maintain her composure. ‘I remember Dr Shepherd. We knew of each other some years ago, when we were training.’
Proud of herself for remaining outwardly calm, she smiled politely as she extended her hand for a swift shake, hastily withdrawing it before the full force of the electric current that zapped along her nerve-endings could reduce her to mush. Damn it. She had hoped to feel nothing. Far from it. Every atom of her being was alive with sensation.
‘Annie.’
Just one word, delivered in that no-nonsense Lancastrian voice, rough-edged and seductive in tone, shook her to the core—again—overloading her with memories. Memories of long hours of loving, of Nathan’s constant support and encouragement, of the way he had helped her study, keeping her supplied with her favourite apple and toffee doughnuts from the local bakery, of the private Nathan, relaxed and laughing…and of the searing pain of their furious parting.
Her gaze flicked to Nathan’s, then skittered away in alarm. She knew she had to say something, to respond in welcome, but… Behind her back she knotted her hands together, then drew in a lungful of air, trying to centre herself. She could do this. She could pretend his presence here didn’t matter, that he didn’t affect her as she apparently didn’t affect him.
‘How pleasant to see you again, Nathan. It’s good of you to step in like this and help out on a temporary basis.’
Pleasant? Temporary? They had known each other when they were training?
A muscle pulsed along Nathan’s jaw as he fought to keep his emotions in check. Annie could dismiss all they had once shared with those coolly formal words? He hadn’t been sure what to expect when they met again, and he had been glad to have yesterday to settle in, acquaint himself with his new colleagues and learn the lie of the land at the hospital before coming face to face with Annie. The department had been busy, the work varied and involving, and if he hadn’t been so gut-wrenchingly nervous about seeing Annie some time soon he would have enjoyed himself. As much as he had enjoyed anything without her in his life.
Since deciding to take this post in Strathlochan he had spent a ridiculous amount of time wondering what Annie would say and do, how it would feel to see her again, if she would be welcoming or displeased to see him. Now it was clear she was neither. Apparently she felt nothing at all—and her casual indifference hurt more than anything. She was treating him like some barely remembered inconsequential acquaintance, rather than the lover she had professed to adore beyond reason.