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Never, if he lived to be a hundred, would he understand women.
Nikos swung his sleek, high-performance sports car into his parking space directly outside the paediatric emergency department.
He’d offered her marriage and put a diamond the size of New York on her finger.
And she’d given it back.
Theos mou, what was going on in her head? How many women had longed for him to make exactly that gesture?
Her refusal had been genuine. And yet she still wanted him. He knew that. So why hadn’t she just said yes?
Realising that he didn’t have any answers made him realise how little he knew about her.
What, in all honesty, had they shared in the six passionate months they’d spent together? Sex, he acknowledged ruefully. They’d lived in a small intimate bubble that had involved their work at the hospital and the two of them. Nothing had intruded.
And that had been the way he’d wanted it.
Locking his car, Nikos strode purposefully towards the entrance of the paediatric emergency department, his naturally competitive nature roused by the block she’d erected in the path of their relationship.
She would marry him, he vowed silently. She was carrying his baby. It was just a matter of understanding why she was saying no. Once he understood that, he would turn the no to a yes.
Praise for Medical™ Romance author
Sarah Morgan:
‘Whether it’s a Modern™ or a Medical™ Romance,
if a book’s got Sarah Morgan’s name on the
front cover, then a spellbinding read is guaranteed!
Fast-paced, moving and passionate…another keeper
by the wonderfully talented Sarah Morgan!’
—Cataromance on THE REBEL DOCTOR’S BRIDE, Medical™ Romance July 08
‘An exceptional romantic tale written by a writer—
romantic, intense and absolutely breathtaking…
I can’t wait for the next spellbinding romance
by this hugely talented star!’
—Cataromance on BOUGHT: THE GREEK’S INNOCENT VIRGIN, Modern™ Romance June 08
Sarah Morgan trained as a nurse, and has since worked in a variety of health-related jobs. Married to a gorgeous businessman, who still makes her knees knock, she spends most of her time trying to keep up with their two little boys, but manages to sneak off occasionally to indulge her passion for writing romance. Sarah loves outdoor life, and is an enthusiastic skier and walker. Whatever she is doing, her head is always full of new characters, and she is addicted to happy endings.
Recent titles by the same author:
Medical™ Romance ITALIAN DOCTOR, SLEIGH-BELL BRIDE THE REBEL DOCTOR’S BRIDE** THE ITALIAN’S NEW-YEAR MARRIAGE WISH* THE MAGIC OF CHRISTMAS
*Brides of Penhally Bay
**Glenmore Island Doctors
Modern™ Romance THE VASQUEZ MISTRESS BOUGHT: THE GREEK’S INNOCENT VIRGIN THE SHIEKH’S VIRGIN PRINCESS THE BRAZILIAN BOSS’S INNOCENT MISTRESS
Sarah Morgan also writes sexy heroes and feisty heroines for Mills & Boon Modern™. Don’t miss her next one POWERFUL GREEK, UNWORLDLY WIFE coming soon.
BY
SARAH MORGAN
PROLOGUE
IT WAS a bad time to realise that she was in love.
The atmosphere in the resuscitation room was strained and tense—the child’s injuries so severe that no one was holding out much hope of a good outcome.
No one, that was, except Dr Nikos Mariakos, the Greek consultant who had a reputation for making miracles happen.
Ella adjusted the oxygen flow with shaking hands and sneaked a glance at the man working across from her. Her heart tumbled, dipped and soared.
Why now? And why this man?
She’d broken both her rules.
Don’t trust.
Don’t love.
At the age of eight she’d learned that men were bad news and she’d locked away her emotions and thrown away the key.
But this man had not only found the key, he’d used it. And what had started as a scorching affair, a physical release from the constant stress of working in the paediatric emergency department, had turned into something deeper.
Ella felt a moment of pure panic, but the child’s condition didn’t allow time for reflection.
‘Suction—more light.’ He gave his orders in a calm, detached tone, apparently undaunted by the enormous task that faced him. It was almost as if he relished the challenge. His hands didn’t shake, his brow didn’t sweat and there was no trace of emotion on his cold, handsome face as he worked to stabilise the critically injured child.
I really do love him, Ella thought helplessly, watching every movement of his swift, skilled fingers with something close to desperation. Only hours earlier they’d been in bed. Those same fingers had created a very different kind of magic and the sensual spell he’d woven had somehow unravelled the protective web she’d spun over years of suspicion and caution.
A feeling of dread seeped into her bones as she realised how vulnerable she was.
Love had punched holes through her defensive shield.
Love now made her open to the same agonising hurt she’d suffered as a child.
‘Do you want to give him another unit of blood?’ It was one of the more junior doctors who spoke, his face almost as pale as that of their small patient.
‘No. I want to control the haemorrhage.’ The consultant’s coldly analytical approach to the critically injured child was in direct contrast to the less experienced doctor’s agitation. ‘Raise the temperature in here. I want overhead heaters and warming blankets.’
Ella quietly did as he instructed, remembering the day Nikos had started in the department. His reputation had caused such a stir that for days before his arrival no one had talked about anything but his technical brilliance and the fact that he was the youngest consultant ever appointed in the hospital.
And then he’d strode through the doors and the talk from the females in the department had shifted from his clinical skills to the fact that he was sexy enough to start a riot in a nunnery.
Even Ella, with her natural suspicion of very handsome men, had been blinded. Not just by his startling good looks, but by his bold, determined approach to every case that came through the doors of the emergency department.
Dismissive of bureaucracy, Nikos Mariakos was fearless in his pursuit of clinical excellence. His willingness to challenge conventional thinking and push boundaries meant that he frequently clashed swords with the hospital management who were terrified by his indifference to protocol and policy.
Nikos didn’t care.
When it came to his work, he cared about one thing alone.
His young patients.
It was as if he was on a one-man crusade to save every injured child.
And that included the little boy on the trolley.
‘He’s arrested. Get me a thoracotomy pack. I’m going to open his chest.’
A stunned silence greeted his statement and Phil, the anaesthetist, shook his head in disbelief. ‘In the emergency department? You can’t be serious, Nikos. Do you know the mortality rate for performing that procedure outside the operating room?’
Nikos was resuscitating the child. ‘I’m sure you’re about to remind me.’
The anaesthetist proceeded to do exactly that, but Nikos didn’t pause in his efforts.
‘Get that pack open, Ella,’ he ordered. ‘You should take a job with a medico legal company, Phil. They’d love you. Has someone called the cardiothoracic surgeons?’
‘What the hell is the matter with you, Nikos? Were you dropped on your head as a child?’ His colleague was perspiring under the heat of the lights, his concern for the patient eclipsed by concern for himself and the potential consequences of what the Greek consultant was proposing. ‘Don’t you ever follow protocol?’
‘Not if following protocol means giving up on a child,’ Nikos said coldly. ‘This child has a penetrating chest wound which appears to be confined to the thorax. If I can stop the bleeding within the next few minutes, he stands a chance. Ella—the pack. Now.’
‘Think of your reputation.’ The anaesthetist became a shade paler as Nikos prepped the child’s chest. ‘You could be struck off.’
‘If I’m struck off for doing my best for my patient then I would leave medicine happy. A bit like having a heart attack during sex.’ Nikos spoke in a lazy drawl, nothing in his demeanour suggesting that he was about to perform major surgery. ‘I’ve always thought that if you are going to make an exit, you should at least make it while striving for perfection.’
It must have been the impossible tension of the situation that made Ella want to laugh. Or perhaps it was just the inconceivable idea of someone with Nikos’s physique and stamina dying during sex.
‘Your girlfriend is obviously a lucky woman,’ quipped one of the cheekier nurses, and Ella felt her face grow scarlet.
They’d always kept their relationship secret, but suddenly she had a wild desire to tell everyone that this incredibly talented man was hers. That she was the one he spent his nights with.
He’d chosen her.
His gaze met hers and her heart skipped several beats because she knew he’d read her mind.
A faint gleam of irony lit his dark eyes and then he held out his gloved hand.
‘Scalpel,’ he said softly, and she took a deep breath and handed him the instrument, feeling that the moment was almost symbolic. He had the ability to heal, but he also had the ability to hurt.
Would he hurt her?
The only thing she knew for sure was that if she were the one who was injured, he was the only doctor she would want in the room.
Unfortunately the anaesthetist didn’t share her confidence. ‘If you can make a joke then you have no idea of the seriousness of what you are about to do, Mariakos,’ he said harshly, but Nikos was already operating.
‘For this procedure to have any chance of success, it has to be performed within five minutes of cardiac arrest. I have four minutes remaining, Phil.’ His tone was conversational. ‘Do you want to talk or save a life?’
‘I want you to consider what you’re doing.’
‘Retractor.’
Ella handed Nikos what he needed as sweat beaded on the anaesthetist’s brow.
‘The child will not survive if you do this, Nikos.’
‘He won’t survive if I don’t do it.’ Nikos worked swiftly and with cool precision, not once faltering as he carried out a procedure that would have been beyond the nerve or capability of most doctors. ‘Now I see the problem.’ He made it sound as though he was dealing with something routine. ‘There’s a tear in the atrium—give me a suture.’
Ella detached herself mentally from the emotional side of the case. It was a procedure, not a child. If she thought about the human story behind every injury that came through the doors, she’d be an emotional wreck. So she passed the sterilised instruments, concentrating on what he was doing, trying to anticipate what he was going to need even though she’d never seen this performed before.
The anaesthetist wiped his forearm over his brow. ‘If this child dies, the parents will sue you. Doesn’t that frighten you?’
‘I think you are frightened enough for both of us,’ Nikos murmured, his fingers swift and skilled as he staunched the bleeding and repaired the damage. Cool, unflustered, he lifted his gaze to the monitor. ‘Come on, agori mou. Fight for me. Put a little effort into this. So far I have been doing all the work. I am tired—it is your turn, I think.’
As they continued to resuscitate the child, Ella found that she was holding her breath.
If there was ever the slightest hope, Nikos never gave up.
Every child mattered to him.
And, this time, his efforts were rewarded. The child’s heart responded and the monitor flickered to life just as the cardiothoracic surgeon entered the room.
‘You’ve missed the party.’ Nikos didn’t shift his focus from the child. ‘How’s he doing from your end, Phil?’
‘Surprisingly well.’ The anaesthetist sounded stunned. ‘You’re a cool customer, Mariakos. And you have the luck of the devil.’
‘Is that why you’re looking at me as if I’ve grown horns? I’m done here.’ Nikos’s gaze flickered to the cardiothoracic surgeon, who was watching with a faint smile of admiration. ‘Do you want to close? I have no doubt you’ll do a neater job than me. Sewing has never been my speciality. Do you have a bed on ITU?’
The cardiothoracic surgeon started to scrub. ‘I’ll arrange it. Are you sure you want me to finish off here?’ His tone was dry. ‘You seem to be doing very well by yourself.’
‘I want to talk to the family.’ Nikos stepped away from his patient and stripped off his gloves, allowing his colleague to take over. His eyes lingered on the monitor for a moment and then he nodded with satisfaction. ‘If there’s any change, call me.’ And with that he strode out of the room.
His departure was greeted by stunned silence and then the junior doctor cleared his throat.
‘When I grow up, I want to be him,’ he muttered. ‘What’s his secret? I want to be that cool. Is it down to experience?’
‘No, it’s down to temperament.’ The surgeon took over where Nikos had left off. ‘You need two things to be a good cardiothoracic surgeon. Technical brilliance and balls of solid steel—no offence, ladies. Tell Mariakos that if he’s ever bored with the emergency department, he can come and work with me.’
‘I don’t know about the rest of his anatomy, but the man has ice in his veins,’ the anaesthetist snapped. ‘And he’s arrogant. Too sure of himself. If you ask me, he’s going to come unstuck. Today, he was lucky.’
‘I saw what he did, and it wasn’t luck.’ The cardiothoracic surgeon started to close the chest. ‘It was skill. And I can’t remember the last time I praised anyone other than myself so cherish the moment.’
‘The child is alive.’ Ella handed the surgeon the equipment he needed. ‘And he’s alive because Nikos was prepared to take a risk.’
‘Maybe. But his lack of emotion worries me.’ Phil adjusted the flow of gases. ‘Technically he’s brilliant, I agree. And, yes, he has…’ he cleared his throat and rephrased his colleague’s earlier description ‘…nerves of steel. But he’s cold. Doesn’t that make you just a little uneasy?’
Ella kept her eyes down as she cleared away the remains of the pack, careful to give nothing away.
Yes, it made her uneasy.
It was easy to forget his emotional detachment when they were in bed. But out of bed…
She gave a little shake of her head, determined not to create problems that didn’t exist.
Her own experiences as a child had given her a dysfunctional view of the world—she needed to remember that. She needed to remember that not every man was her father.
Phil stood up. ‘It would be nice to see that he’s human. Nice if that icy control of his slipped for five minutes. I’d like to think it was an act that he puts on when he’s working—plenty of us do that in order to cope with the emotional stresses of this place. But Nikos Mariakos…’ He shook his head. ‘I don’t think the man is blanking out his emotions. I don’t think he has any. I don’t think he’s capable of feeling.’
Nikos paused outside the relatives’ room, looking down at his shaking hands with wry self-mockery.
He didn’t have to be back in the resuscitation room to know what they were saying about him.
Ice cold.
Emotionless.
All the usual things.
It was a good job they couldn’t see him now or his reputation would be shattered into a million pieces.
Fortunately for his patients, his body had never betrayed him inside the resuscitation room. Only afterwards did the reaction come. Only afterwards did the memories catch up with him.
Nikos inhaled deeply, pushing aside the images that mocked him.
Images of a different child.
A child he hadn’t been able to save.
But this time—this time he’d won the fight.
He pushed open the door and greeted the relatives, ignoring hospital protocol that demanded that he take a nurse in with him. Unlike many of his colleagues, Nikos didn’t dodge the difficult task of handling emotional relatives. The thought of breaking bad news and then abandoning them to cry on a nurse was alien to him.
He was the one who had managed the case. He was the one who could answer their questions, although inevitably he never had an answer to the most desperate question of all.
Why?
Fortunately, on this occasion the news was better than anyone had hoped and ten minutes later he took refuge in his office, knowing that the staff would still be talking about the risks he’d taken.
He rolled his shoulders to relieve the tension and stared out of his office window to the busy city streets below. Thinking. Remembering…
‘Nikos?’
Ella’s voice came from the doorway and he turned, a smile on his lips because she was the one person who could relieve his current stress levels.
‘Are you off duty?’
‘Yes. The child is safely in ITU and doing well.’ She strolled towards him, all long legs and sparkling eyes.
‘Good.’ But he wasn’t thinking about the child.
She stopped in front of him and placed her fingers on his chest. ‘You were amazing.’
‘I thought Phil’s heart was going to stop, along with the patient’s.’ Nikos was captivated by her sweet smile and her frank adoration. She was deliciously uncomplicated.
And she had a fabulous body.
‘Phil is a very cautious person.’
Nikos pulled her into his arms, feeling the immediate response of his body as her softness pressed against him. ‘You need cautious people in this business.’
‘To counter people like you?’ Her eyes teased him. ‘You’re not cautious, are you?’
‘If you’re asking if I know what I want, then the answer is yes.’ Nikos lowered his head and took her mouth, tasting honey and temptation. ‘At the moment what I want is you, in my bed, naked.’
‘My bed.’ She trailed a finger over his rough jaw, her breathing slightly faster than it had been before the kiss. ‘We’ve only ever made love in my bed. It’s been six months and we’ve never once been back to wherever it is you live. Do you realise that?’
Yes, he realised that.
‘Your place iscloser.’ Smoothly he steered the conversation away from that particular topic. ‘I’m hungry. What do I have to do to get some of your delicious cheese on toast?’
Her arms slid round his neck. Affection. Warmth. ‘I would have thought you were sick of eating cheese on toast in my room. Are you sure you wouldn’t rather go out to eat?’
‘I want to have sex, then eat, then have sex again,’ Nikos purred, backing her against the wall and feeling the volcanic response of his body. ‘And then have sex again. We’d get arrested for that in a restaurant.’
She was giggling, breathless—her eyes slightly shocked. ‘Nikos, this is ridiculous. We always end up in my single bed in the nurses’ accommodation. We’ve been together for six months. It’s time to stop behaving like hormonal teenagers.’
Nikos brought his mouth down on hers, but his brain refused to be as easily distracted as his body.
Six months?
Surely that wasn’t possible.
‘Nikos?’ She dragged her mouth away from his, laughter and love in her eyes.
Love?
Nikos stilled. When had that happened? And why hadn’t he noticed?
Mentally, he retreated. ‘I like sleeping in your single bed.’ She was getting too close. He curved his hand over her bottom, knowing what had to be done, but finding it surprisingly difficult. Usually, ending a relationship was easy. ‘You have a choice. Either I go for a ten-mile run or I take you to bed. Which is it to be?’
The sexual tension reached almost unbearable proportions.
‘That’s a tricky choice.’ Her breathing was shallow. ‘It isn’t safe to be on the streets of London at this time of night.’
‘Good decision.’ Nikos kissed her again and reached for his jacket. As he urged her out of the door, he pondered on the best way to tell her that the relationship was over.
CHAPTER ONE
‘I STILL can’t believe he’d just dump you, Ella. Why would he do that?’
Ella stared straight at the long slender boat nestling quietly against the bank of the river, appalled by the discovery that her grip on her self-control wasn’t as firm as she would have liked it to be. ‘Obviously he didn’t like me enough.’ And even now, after four long months of no contact, she found it hard to believe that she wasn’t going to see him again—that the connection she’d thought was there hadn’t existed for him.
Helen made a disparaging noise. ‘Ella, you told me he barely let you out of the bedroom for the six months you were together. He liked you.’
‘He liked the sex.’ Ella watched as a kingfisher dived into the water, a flash of iridescent green and blue, searching for breakfast. ‘Men don’t turn every sexual encounter into happy ever after, you know they don’t. Women mate for life, men mate whenever the opportunity presents itself.’
But somehow she’d allowed herself to forget that fact.
She’d romanticised a relationship that had been based on physical chemistry and, worse than that, she’d trusted a man.
‘Change the subject,’ she said flatly. ‘I need to just forget him and move on.’ Which was what he’d done, wasn’t it?
‘How can you forget him? Ella, you’re pregnant! What are you going to do?’
Ella clutched her tiny suitcase and stared at the long, slender canal boat. She’d learned a long time ago that if you focused hard enough, it was possible to hold back tears. So she stared. And gradually the flood levels of emotion subsided. The hot stinging in her throat became a dull ache and the pressure behind her eyes eased. It was OK. She was going to be OK. And so was the baby. She’d make sure of it.
‘I’m going to stop crying over a man who doesn’t deserve it. And while I’m deciding what to do about my life, I’m going to live in this place. I didn’t know it was possible to live on a canal boat. I love it.’
The dark green paintwork gleamed in the sunshine and brightly coloured fresh flowers tumbled from boxes set along the low, flat roof. Ella leaped from the bank to the boat, landing on the polished wooden deck.
‘Why did you pick this? You can’t live in this isolated place.’ Helen glanced nervously up and down the deserted path that ran alongside the sleepy, overgrown canal. ‘You’re a city girl. You like bright lights and people around you.’
‘I want something different. I’m tired of that life.’
‘Well, this is a bit extreme. When you said it was a canal boat, I thought it would be in a marina or something—not just moored in the middle of nowhere. You’re going to have loads of weirdos wandering along here.’
‘I like it.’ Ella watched as a duck glided past, followed by her family of six fluffy ducklings. Her eyes misted. It wasn’t all bad. She was going to have a baby. ‘Aren’t they sweet?’