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‘Yeah—if a nutter happens to come stalking you, they’ll be the perfect weapon. You can pick one up and yell, “Duck.”’
‘Very funny. Are you coming aboard?’
‘I don’t know why you can’t carry on living in my spare room.’ Helen followed more cautiously onto the boat. ‘I love having you.’
‘I can’t live with you for ever. I’ll use this as a base while I decide what to do.’ Ella unlocked the doors at the bow of the boat. ‘It’s so peaceful here.’
‘Ella, you’ve been crying yourself to sleep for the past four months. You don’t need peaceful!’
Without responding, Ella ducked down into the long, narrow sitting area. Dark green sofas were piled with contrasting cushions and the polished wooden floor gleamed in the sunlight. She could imagine herself curled up on the cushions in the bow of the boat, a cold drink in her hand.
Alone.
The sudden stab of pain took her by surprise and she dug her nails into her palms.
Alone was fine. Until she’d met Nikos, that had been her life choice.
And she wouldn’t be alone for long, would she? Soon she’d have the baby. They’d be a family…
Helen was looking round doubtfully. ‘Do you realise that we’ve only seen one other person since we arrived? And that was a man on his own, walking a dog. This is not a suitable place for a woman.’
Ignoring her, Ella wandered further down the boat, trying to be positive as she explored her new surroundings. ‘The bedroom is cosy.’ She dumped her suitcase on the floor. ‘I’ll unpack later.’
‘Who did you say owns this place?’
‘One of the consultants at the hospital—he’s gone to Australia for six months with his family. One of the conditions of living here is that I have to water the plants.’
‘Ella, please…’ Helen plopped onto the side of the bed. ‘Just think about what you’re doing.’
‘I’m getting on with my life.’ Ella knelt on the bed next to her and looked out of the window at the overhanging trees that brushed the still surface of the water. ‘It’s so calming here. I can wake up every morning gazing at that.’
‘Crying. Talk to me, Ella. Tell me how you’re feeling.’
Like he’d taken a scalpel to her heart.
‘I’m fine,’ Ella said brightly. ‘No morning sickness, no swollen ankles, no—’
‘I’m not talking about the pregnancy—I’m talking about the way you feel inside. You shut everyone out, Ella. You always have.’ Helen spread her hands in exasperation. ‘Did you do it with him? Didn’t you tell him how you felt?’
‘He knew.’ And that was why he’d ended it. For her, the relationship had been more than the hot sizzle of sexual attraction. He’d wanted shallow and she’d waded in deep. ‘You want to know how I feel? I’ll tell you. I feel as though I’ve been broken into a million tiny pieces. I’ve stuck the pieces back together and so far it’s all holding, but I don’t feel like me any more.’
‘Is that why you’re planning on living in the middle of nowhere?’
‘I need space to work out what I want. And it’s cosy here.’ Ella looked out at the trees spilling over the path and listened to the mellow sound of ducks. ‘I’ll be all right. I’m a paediatric nurse—at least I already know how to pick up a baby and change a nappy.’
‘I’m not worried about your ability to change a nappy.’ Helen swatted a fly. ‘I just don’t want you to be single.’
‘There’s nothing wrong with being single. Single can be a lifestyle choice, you know. We single women earn our own money, we buy our own homes, we—we…’
‘We what? We have sex with ourselves? Hug ourselves when we’re miserable? Fix the car when the engine won’t start? Sounds great.’ Helen recoiled as she noticed a spider lurking in the corner. ‘Sorry, I know it isn’t politically correct to admit it, but I’m not ready to turn into a spinster yet and neither are you. Buried under all that insecurity, you’re an old-fashioned girl. The man made you pregnant. You have to tell him about the baby.’
‘No, I don’t.’ Strengthened by a core of steely determination, Ella lifted her chin. ‘He didn’t want me, Helen.’
And she would do everything she could to protect her baby from the emotional agonies she’d suffered as a child.
‘He didn’t know you were pregnant. And you don’t know why he walked out.’
Oh, yes, she did. Ella closed her eyes. Shut out the images. ‘He had another life. A life he didn’t tell me about.’
‘That bit is bizarre, I agree.’ Helen frowned. ‘I still find it hard to believe that the guy is seriously a billionaire. I’ve never actually met a real live billionaire before.’
‘And to think I used to make him cheese on toast.’ Ella slid off the bed and walked back through to the living area of the boat. ‘Must have been a real letdown after Michelin-starred restaurants. No wonder he left. I was probably giving him indigestion every night.’
Helen followed her. ‘Perhaps not telling you about the money was some sort of romantic test.’
‘Stop endowing him with thoughtful, sensitive qualities.’ Ella tugged open a cupboard and found plates and mugs. ‘Nikos was a selfish, driven, work obsessed male who only wanted one thing.’
‘Well, at least he was jolly good at that one thing.’ Catching Ella’s eye, Helen subsided with a shrug. ‘Sorry—but I just don’t see why the money would make him walk out. It doesn’t make sense. God, this is frustrating. Don’t you want to talk to him?’
‘There’s nothing to talk about. He lied to me and he left. He didn’t even have the courage to tell me face to face—just sent me an email telling me that he was going back to Greece and that our relationship was over.’
Helen winced. ‘I hate email. Did you ever reply?’
‘No. Because that was the day I went to the doctor about being sick. Hard though it is to believe, it hadn’t even occurred to me that I might be pregnant.’ Ella rolled her eyes, embarrassed by her own stupidity. ‘While I was in the waiting room I flicked through a celebrity magazine. And there was a four-page spread on Nikos.’ Heart pounding, she broke off and pressed her fingers to her temples. She still couldn’t actually believe it had happened to her.
Helen slipped her arms around her. ‘I don’t know what to say. I’m really sorry.’
‘So am I,’ Ella said wearily, extracting herself from the hug. ‘But that’s life, isn’t it? I should be grateful that I found out what sort of man Nikos is before the relationship went too far. At least this way it’s only me that gets hurt.’ Better now, before the baby was born.
Funny how protective you could be about a person who hadn’t even arrived in the world yet.
‘But if he turned up, you’d talk to him, right?’
‘He won’t turn up.’
‘How can you be so sure?’
Ella was silent for a moment. ‘Because he’s married.’ Saying the words made her wince. She felt ashamed, even though she knew she had nothing to be ashamed of. Another woman’s man. ‘I suppose that’s why he didn’t want emotional attachment. He already has one. His wife’s name is Ariadne. And she must have the tolerance of a saint to keep taking him back after all the affairs he’s had. All the time he was in London, he had a wife back home in Greece.’
Realising that Helen hadn’t actually responded to her confession, Ella turned and found her friend staring at her in appalled horror.
‘Married?’
‘Yes.’ Ella gave a twisted smile. ‘Don’t look so shocked. I feel bad enough as it is.’
‘How do you know he’s married?’
‘I’ve seen his wedding photos. They were plastered all over that same celebrity magazine that told me he was a billionaire. She’s very pretty. They obviously got married very young.’
‘Why didn’t you tell me this before?’
‘Why do you think? I despised myself for having an affair with a married man. I’m hardly going to boast about it, am I?’
‘I’m your best friend! And I can’t believe you’re only telling me this now. The rat. Oh, Ella…’ Helen sank down onto the sofa and drew in several panicky breaths. ‘I—I wish you’d told me this before. If I’d known… Oh, my God, what have I done?’
‘You haven’t done anything. It’s me who—’ registering Helen’s dramatic reaction, Ella frowned, puzzled. ‘What are you talking about? What have you done?’
There was a long, painful silence while Helen just gazed at her, wide-eyed with guilt and trepidation. ‘You have to understand that I had your best interests at heart…’
‘Now you’re making me nervous.’ Ella felt a sinister tingling in her nerve endings and dread seeped through her veins as she watched her friend’s face turn pale.
‘I didn’t know he was married. I thought the pair of you were just being stubborn and that you could work it out if you’d only get together.’
Ella stared at her, her heart pounding. ‘Helen…’
‘I wrote to him,’ Helen confessed, her eyes glistening with tears. ‘You’re my best friend and I’ve been listening to you crying your heart out every night for four months. I was furious with him and I thought if he knew about the baby…’
‘You told him about the baby?’ Ella felt the colour drain from her cheeks. ‘Helen, no!’
‘I’m so sorry.’ Helen was crying openly now, her hands over her face. ‘It was the wrong thing to do. I see that now. But you can be so stubborn and so can he, and the two of you seemed so in love. I thought that if I could just get you together, you’d be able to sort it out. I thought I was helping—I wanted you to be happy…’
‘What have you done?’ Breathing like someone in the last stages of labour, Ella struggled to think straight. ‘What if he comes? If you told him about the baby…’
‘But perhaps it will be a good thing if he comes. You’ll talk and—’
‘Helen, he’s a married man and as far as I’m concerned that’s the end of it! A man can’t have two families!’ Saying the words was agony. ‘How could you do this? How could you interfere with my life?’ Distraught, Ella’s voice cracked and Helen rubbed the tears from her own face.
‘I didn’t know he was married! You’ll never forgive me, I know, and I wish I could turn the clock back. It’s just that for your whole life you’ve been screwed up about men and I thought I was helping.’
‘I know I’m screwed up about men!’ Ella’s voice was hoarse. ‘I’m completely dysfunctional when it comes to men, I admit it. And I’ve been proved right, haven’t I? He lied to me, Helen. He lied about his wife, about the fact he’s a billionaire—all lies. I don’t think he said a single honest thing to me. And no conversation is going to change that. That sort of deception is not an accident. And if he does walk through that door, the only thing he’s going to get from me is a black eye.’
‘Perhaps you’d better give me one, too. I deserve it.’ Helen rummaged in her bag for a tissue and blew her nose. ‘I hate to say this but we’re due at the hospital. We’re both on a late shift. Do you want to call in sick? The new paediatric emergency department will probably fall apart if you’re not there, but I can make excuses.’
‘No way.’ Ella closed her eyes for a moment. She couldn’t afford to lose her job. She had a baby to support. And, anyway, they needed her at the hospital. ‘I’ll be fine. Management have refused Rose’s request for extra staff yet again and the place is so busy.’
‘It’s the hot weather.’ Helen looked out of the window at the blue sky. ‘The tourists will already be on the beach, hitting themselves with cricket bats and being stung by wasps.’ She bit her lip and turned back to her friend. ‘I’m sorry, El.’
‘Forget it. It’s done.’ Numb with shock, her mind in a spin, Ella stared sightlessly out of the window. ‘You go. I’ll lock up here.’
Helen hesitated, clearly torn between going and staying. ‘Ella…’
‘Just go.’
He wouldn’t come, Ella tried to reassured herself as she listened to the soothing lap of the water against the sides of the wooden boat and tried to stay calm. He was married. He probably already had children. She’d been a convenient distraction while he’d been in London, nothing more.
Greek or not, he wasn’t going to care that she was pregnant.
It was over.
His emotions threatening to overwhelm him, Nikos glanced around the waiting room of the paediatric emergency department, aware that some sort of response was expected from him. Never before had it been this difficult to concentrate on work. His stress levels mounting with every second that passed, he dutifully scanned the neat rows of small red seats, the colourful play area and the bright murals that livened the walls. ‘You have a separate entrance for the children?’
‘Yes. From the moment they come through the main door, they’re separated from the adults. What do you think?’ Rose, the senior nurse in charge of the main emergency department, looked at him nervously. ‘We’ve had builders working non-stop for the past four months.’
Trying to show an interest, Nikos strode through the cheerful reception area and paused in the doorway of one of the cubicles. As well as state-of-the art equipment, there were neat boxes of toys, piles of children’s books and DVDs. ‘Resuscitation room?’
‘Next door on your left.’ Rose hurried along next to him, struggling to match her stride to his. ‘Can I ask you something, Professor?’ They were in the resuscitation room now and Nikos was mentally itemising each piece of equipment in an attempt to distract himself from the issue that had dominated his brain for the past week.
‘Call me Nikos, and, yes. Ask.’
‘We’re thrilled you’re here, obviously but—why did you take this job?’ Rose gave an apologetic shrug. ‘You’re in demand all over the world. I heard you lecture two years ago. The auditorium was completely packed out—there wasn’t even breathing room.’
‘Perhaps it was raining outside,’ Nikos drawled lightly, and Rose gave a lopsided smile.
‘I think we both know that wasn’t the case. You could be working anywhere. Why us?’
‘Sick children are sick children. It doesn’t matter what the setting is.’ Nikos cast his eye over the intubation tray, refusing to reveal his real reason for being there, even though he knew it would become apparent soon enough. ‘Tell me about the staff.’ He kept his tone neutral. ‘They are paediatric trained?’
‘We have a core of staff who are paediatric trained and we also rotate staff from the main emergency department according to need. This afternoon the paediatric nurse in charge will be Ella. She’s wonderful.’
Ella.
A hard knot of tension settled in his stomach and his brain was filled with a distracting image of perfectly smooth blonde hair, a sweet, seductive smile and curves designed to fuse a man’s brain.
‘I know Ella.’ Not by a flicker of an eyelid to Nikos reveal just how well he knew her. ‘We worked together in London.’
And now she was pregnant with his child.
A fact she’d concealed from him.
Sharp claws of anger dug into him like talons and he breathed deeply, searching for control, shocked by the raw intensity of his rage. Well aware that people called him the ice doctor, he wondered what they’d say if they knew that at the moment he was close to meltdown.
What was that phrase that people threw out so carelessly? Everyone has their limit.
Was this his?
Had he reached his limit?
With a supreme effort of will Nikos reminded himself that anger achieved nothing. Losing his temper was not going to help.
Emotion didn’t solve problems. What was needed was rational discussion.
She was going to have her say. He was going to have his say.
It was all going to be calm and reasonable.
They were going to be civilised.
‘You know Ella?’ Rose was looking at him, surprised. ‘That’s wonderful.’
Nikos gave a cool smile, well aware that Ella was going to find the situation a great deal short of wonderful. She’d kept the news of her pregnancy from him. ‘I’m looking forward to renewing our acquaintance.’
‘Well, you won’t have to wait long. She’s on a late shift this afternoon. She’ll be here any minute.’
As if on cue Nikos heard her laughter from somewhere behind him and the sound released his temper. How could she laugh?
What was funny about intentionally depriving a man of his child?
Emotion thickened until he could taste it, until he was ready to put his fist through something.
Rational discussion was no longer on his wish list.
He forgot calm and reasonable.
He forgot civilised.
As she walked through the door, his anger erupted with volcanic force.
Her arms were raised, her hands occupied scooping her shiny blonde hair into a ponytail, a pose that seemed to emphasise the air of vulnerability that surrounded her. And suddenly Nikos found himself thinking about all the times he’d kissed his way down her slender, creamy throat while she’d writhed and moaned his name in a desperate plea for satisfaction. He remembered how shy she’d been the first time, how hard he’d found it to believe that a woman of twenty-four had so little experience.
Looking at her now, it was like taking a punch full in the gut.
She was wearing a scrub suit covered in pictures of jungle animals and for a moment Nikos was distracted. With her cheerful smile and sense of fun, she’d always had a gift for turning the emergency department into somewhere a child was almost pleased to visit.
‘Hello, Ella.’
She stopped instantly, the smile dying on her lips as she saw him standing there.
Her arms dropped to her sides and she turned so pale that Nikos took an involuntary step forwards, preparing to catch her if she crumpled to the floor. Her breathing was audible and she stepped back, as if his approach represented a physical threat. For a moment she just stood there, her chest rising and falling as she sucked in air and stared at him.
Guilt, he thought grimly, as he watched her face. What she’d done was unforgivable and she knew it. But even as the anger took him by the throat once again, his hands were ready to catch her if she fell. There was no way he was going to let her land on the floor in a heap, pregnant with his child.
His lips burned with the need to speak his mind, but it wasn’t the time or the place so instead Nikos communicated the full force of his anger in a single, hotly charged glance.
Apparently unaware of the dangerous shift in the atmosphere, Rose was cheerful. ‘Ella—good timing. I had no idea that you and Professor Mariakos know each other. I’m delighted. It will make things so much easier. Now I have an experienced team running the paediatric emergency unit. It’s going to be a happy summer.’
Anticipating anything but a happy summer, Nikos kept his simmering, accusing gaze fixed on Ella’s pale, shocked face. ‘It will be like old times.’
Something flickered in her slanting green eyes and he knew that she was thinking what he was thinking—that it was going to be nothing like old times.
This time when they worked there would be no intimate glances, no delicious thrill of excitement as they anticipated the time when they could be alone. No soft whispers, no swift smiles and absolutely no explosive sexual chemistry.
Only anger, blame and recrimination.
She’d hidden the fact that she was pregnant, and no woman was doing that to him again.
This time he wanted the right to be a father to his child.
Pain thumped through his gut and suddenly he wanted to tower over her and demand an explanation right here, right now. He wanted to know why the hell she hadn’t contacted him herself.
The depth of his disillusionment surprised him because he’d always considered himself to be realistic about women.
Rose glanced between them. ‘I’ve scheduled the two of you to work together on every shift right through the summer. I don’t need to tell you that the hospital management are scrutinising this department very closely. I know it’s going to be a fantastic success.’
Nikos dragged his gaze from Ella’s but somehow his eyes simply shifted to a different part of her, this time her abdomen. To the untrained eye her pregnancy wasn’t visible under the loose fabric of her scrub suit and yet he knew her so intimately that he could see the changes in her. Her glorious breasts were even fuller than usual, her hips more generously curved.
Cradling his child.
What would she have to say for herself?
What excuse would she give?
Was she one of these modern feminist women who wanted a baby but not a man?
His mouth tightened into a grim line as he pondered that possibility. If that was the case then she’d picked the wrong guy for a stunt like that. He was Greek. And she was about to discover exactly what that meant.
‘Just breathe normally, sweetheart,’ Ella soothed, her hand gently stroking the little girl’s head as she tried to relax the terrified child. ‘This mask is going to help you breathe.’
The little girl squirmed and clawed at the oxygen mask and Ella felt her heart contract as she tried to calm her. The poor child was terrified and her fear was making her condition worse.
Faced with a potentially life-threatening situation, Ella pushed her own problems to the back of her mind and concentrated on the job she was trained to do.
Moments after Rose had given her the keys to the drug cupboard, the department had suddenly been swamped with patients. A dog bite, two asthma attacks and a child who had slipped while scrambling over the cliffs and sustained a nasty laceration to his lower leg.
Denied any opportunity to dwell on the implications of Nikos’s presence, Ella had taken the most serious of the cases, a three-year-old girl with an acute asthma attack.
Thank goodness for training, she thought numbly as she adjusted the flow of oxygen and carefully observed the child’s breathing. It was only training that was allowing her to function as if nothing was wrong. Her hands were doing the right things and her mouth was saying the right things, but inside she was shocked and shaking.
After Helen’s confession, she’d cycled the brief distance along the canal to the hospital, her mind sifting through the various scenarios and how she’d handle them.
He’d come. Deep down, she’d known he’d come. And she’d decided that the most important thing was to stay calm and not allow emotion to play a part in their discussion. She’d be dignified and distant and keep the conversation focused on facts and nothing more. She’d find out what he wanted in terms of access and then go away and think about it. Nothing personal. She’d dismiss him as easily as he’d dismissed her.
At least, that had been the theory.
But how could any woman dismiss a man like Nikos Mariakos? How did you dismiss six feet two inches of strikingly good-looking, unwaveringly confident, muscle-packed male? Muscle-packed angry male.
Fortunately he’d gone with Rose to complete some paperwork, leaving Ella to work with Alan, a doctor with six months’ accident and emergency experience who was spending the next month in the paediatric department as part of his training. Alan was unfailingly polite and courteous and perfectly competent with the routine stuff that came through the doors of the main emergency department. Privately, Ella wasn’t sure he had the skill set to work with sick children, but she was hoping she’d be proved wrong.
So far three-year-old Tamsin had refused to allow him to listen to her chest, and nothing he tried could persuade her to co-operate. Flustered and out of his depth, the young doctor grew red in the face as he tried to reason with the child using a falsely bright voice.
Sensing his lack of confidence in a way that children always seemed able to do, Tamsin’s panic increased and she flailed her little arms, becoming more and more upset and making it harder for Ella to calm her.
‘Sweetheart, he’s not going to hurt you.’ Deciding that his presence was counter-productive, she discreetly waved a flustered Alan away from the trolley and picked up a doll from the toy box. ‘This is Angie, isn’t she beautiful? We’re going to put a dress on her and then give her some special air to breathe, just like you. Which dress do you think? You choose.’ She grabbed two dresses from the box and held them up. ‘Pink or purple?’