New Method ICC Inner Knowledge of Coaching

Dedication

This is my first book written under my own name and I want to dedicate it to several people.

First of all a great woman, a spectacular person, of which I am proud to know and consider myself her friend.

That for me is a real pride. It is very difficult today to find someone so brilliant at the same time, so simple, so humble and sincere.

These are very difficult qualities to find today. She is who loves her work above all else, but what matters most is the well-being of people and that they are really able to see not only well, but to find themselves.

That is, if you don't know her, you will think it is impossible. I have discovered over the years that there is nothing impossible for her. Because its purity and capacity to always seek positive solutions to what others leave as impossible, is incredible.

The same time, when she has to explain something that cannot be fixed, she does it with the greatest tact, love and sensitivity in the world.

She is a person who understands that you can learn from her, even if our worlds have nothing like it…

The best thing about all this is that she shares it with you so that you can improve as a person and as a human being, helping you whenever she can.

I believe that any people who know you or have crossed your path are proud of having shared their life with you. Since there is only one way to shine more by your side. Even if you like to go unnoticed.

Thank you for everything we have shared and what we still have to share, lots of laughter and happy moments.

To Dr. Patricia Montull Vila

Secondly, I'm a big fan of Barbara Oakley. I contacted with her to tell her that I was going to mention her in this book.

I have to say to all of you, she is the best representation you can find of what a true "Coach" is. Not only did she answer me and show interest, but I felt supported, encouraged to continue with my project; and above all, reinforced and valued.

I tell myself every morning when I wake up that in life you have to improvise, learn, adapt and overcome the obstacles that come your way, in order to move forward. And for me personally, in my humble opinion, she represents a clear example of this.

Apart from being a person who demonstrates day by day to have an incredible humility and know how to support, giving support to everyone else. She really meets all the expectations of my philosophy of life, that if someone shines in life and you admire with her and learn from her, you will shine more.

I use her technique to study, I have done very well. I am the clear example that your method is effective. But her humanity, simplicity and personality make her even greater.

Thank you Barbara for taking care of me and being the way you are.

And thirdly, I also want to thank someone who has helped me a lot with her words, to get to build this book.

Because the right questions that force you to spot flaws so you can improve them help you get the most out of yourself.

I remember my childhood with nostalgia, the good times, when we gathered whole family, when we would get together at breakfast, laugh and talk about our daily chores. The flavor that I loved was eating a cupcake that was named as my mother, and it tasted like that, like glory.

That's why, in a new journey totally unknown to me, as it was to go deeper into a new work network such as Linkedin, a little over two years ago, I decided to ask the person who inspired me most confidence once I opened up, about my profile.

I was totally unknown to him and he really should not have shown any interest, or the work, or the effort he put into me.

The pleasant surprise I got was that his answer was plain, sincere, and honest, made me see and reflect where I could have some shortcomings so I could improve. I felt like when I talk to a classmate, I go to a class to learn from someone or I am trying to make someone better. And I liked that. I liked it very much.

From then on, not only did I consume the products as we usually did at home, but I also followed, day by day, what he published and what he did professionally through the social network.

I can tell you that for almost all of you he may be a great unknown, but he is a brilliant mind of this country, a great worker.

In this last year, which has been extremely hard, he has been at the foot of the barrel supporting, uniting and giving not only support, but strength to all his team. That is very complicated nowadays.

All of you in the next pages will read what in my opinion is coaching, but really, if I have to give you an example of someone complete who practices it at a business level, at an executive level, at a team level and at a leader level, it is without any doubt of him.

Because he has been able to adapt to all this, always expanding the new needs of people, to create a more sustainable and better world, both in terms of food and the environment.

You only have to look at the effort he has made managing the company and how he works. From Dulcesol to Vicky Foods and be plus, combining quality with innovation and service; something very difficult to combine.

And the most surprising thing is that every day the team of people who work with him are proud to do so, because they learn and enjoy their work.

Thank you Rafael Juan

Chapter 1- Thanks to all the o.n.c.e. team

We are so used to really complaining about everything that we don't like, about everything that bothers us and about everything that we see wrong, that people have forgotten to say thank you. Remembering how we have come to build and be who we are, thanks to those little details that have helped us and given us strength to get where we are; not just us, but the people we love.

My mother is a very fighting person, tremendously hardworking. I suppose that, like all her generation, she was born on February 18, 1947. And I'm lucky that despite her condition I can still enjoy with her.

My parents have both been hard workers. My mother worked two jobs (like all your parents at that time), she cleaned and was also a hairdresser, a beautician and her hobby was sewing.

Now that I'm older, I have to admit that when I look at things I've done it by myself, I value them very much. But at that time when all my classmates wore clothes bought by their mothers and my mother made them all by hand. -What you all like to call customization nowadays- I wasn’t so happy about it when I was a kid.

And the dresses and blouses, she loved to embroider them for me. Today they are true works of art, although at that time I preferred some jeans…

Joking aside, we were a normal family and one night like any other, my parents went to sleep and when my mother woke up, she couldn't move on her own. She was only 35 years old.

Now everything has advanced a lot, we don't realize what progress is being made and the improvements that medicine is making. We are used to being given solutions; we don't see all the research and effort behind it. You only realize when you have a case. She had a stroke. Now you know what it is and the guidelines to follow.

We met when she came home, not only that she couldn't move a hand, but she couldn't walk and it took her a very long time to do it again. That's when I discovered what the word "love" means, for better or for worse, because my father not only lived up to it, but he exceeded expectations. It was very difficult because character changes and my mother needed to feel active and useful. Big problem in that situation she was in.

We were very lucky that the doctor who was treating my sister, who was asthmatic, saw the recovery process and my mother's effort, as my father was involved in making her home recovery at that time. She only wanted to be able to work because she was in a depression and felt useless. She put us in contact with an entity that was totally unknown to me at that time, even though I was small and didn't understand what we were going for, the o.n.c.e. (For those who are not Spanish the O.N.C.E. means National Organization of the Spanish Blind).

It's that organization that you all see and are used to buying a number to play and to which no importance is given, because it is always said that it helps, but no one really explains and from the heart, in what way it helps.

I want to explain it to you in the first person. My mother is handicapped, her name is Gloria Pérez Muñoz, and her sales number is 2,547 with a severe handicap. They gave her the opportunity to work, they taught her how to sell, they supported her. She was regularly visited by the inspectors who are the people they call them.

Today we would give them another name as a counselor, advisor or coach. But I was the person who regularly worried about how my mother was doing in her job; if she needed anything or to inform her of any news. This is a team effort they make for their staff.

There are many other things you don't see. When you have a child, the first thing you think about is enrolling him/her in a school, of course this is public. Because here in Spain education is free… but what if your child is blind, what do you do, who helps you, where do you go, who trains them, where will they find a job? We don't ask ourselves all these questions, because thank God we don't expect to find ourselves in that dilemma. But if we need it, they are the support.

That's what the value of buying a coupon means. That's why for me it's not a simple game, it's a moral support, as far as one can.

And as a child I had to start accompanying my mother to the Barcelona headquarters, which is where I live. There they did the paperwork, they also took the numbers that had not been sold, and they asked for a number for the next day that they had asked for. All this had to be done by hand, there wasn't that much technology and the truth is that the team was incredibly friendly. I liked going there.

They began to teach me things; first because I was small, also because they saw me regularly and because in the same building that is no longer there, there was the medical team that attended to the workers. What was called the family doctor.

Now this is no longer in any of the city offices, because a mutual insurance company is in charge of it.

I would like to thank each and every one of these doctors and nurses in each center throughout Spain, because I am sure that the same attention and care with which they attended in Barcelona, they did in the rest. And for that it had to be done really from the heart, because everyone arrived tired, they came with a chronic disease that they knew in advance they could not solve. They had to continue working under the pressure of having to make a few sales and in a hurry, and I was out there seeing all this many times in a bad mood, I never saw them lose their smile. And they were always looking for ways to encourage us.

Much of that vision, plus what I lived at home and what my grandmother explained to me, has made me who I am.

It is important that you are given solutions or asked the right questions so that you look inside yourself, that you want to change. Because not everything will always be favorable, but you can always move forward and you can always achieve everything you set out to do.

Being with them I learned day by day, so I personally have to thank them a thousand times. Because you cannot imagine the obstacles they have had to suffer, overcome and save in order to get where they have gone, and you have never heard them complain. So thanks to all of them, from the first or founder and to the last worker.

And we must all be aware of the great work they do, because one day I hope that it will not be like that, you may need them and they will always lend you a hand. Thank you.

Chapter 2- Foreword: Why have I come to write this method?

What I explain to you will have read in many books. Many of you will have been in some conference or workshop of mine, you will have read a book that I have written and you will not find my new ideas.

The only difference is that the years serve you to mature, take advantage of your time and see what you want to leave behind for others.

I have always liked working in a team and above all that people learn to be independent and to be able to collaborate. If you have someone who is good at something, you can always learn and you will really improve.

If with that person you manage to work as a team without rivalry, not only will you succeed, but you will give better results, more rested, more enjoyable and more creative.

It doesn't mean that you don't evolve. It could be that, when the time comes, one of the team decides to expand his or her path and start over. But it is a law of life, new beginnings every day and taking risks when returning to the beginning of the race; to see if we are capable of creating the same team again in another place.

Life is made up of many normal moments, some quite complicated and some extraordinarily happy. And among all this, we have to make an average, to know how to take advantage of it in benefit learning the lessons; seeing what we did not like in the lesson so that the next time it hurts less.

As a child I was quite an earthquake, since my first years I was an only child, then my sister came along. As you know, I went through my mother's time and went from having no responsibility to growing up quickly, seeing things from a different perspective.

At school I had changes that they did not see, because it is impossible. Nowadays, communication with teachers and the school is more fluid, but at that time it was not the same, everything that happened at home affected my character and my attitude.

That's why in what was important for my classmates, perhaps like playing or sports, for me it wasn't because I needed silence or reading.

Over the years, one of the methods that I love and I am totally in favor because I believe in it, and you can find it, is that of Howard Gardner and the multiple intelligences, who for this reason have been given a Prince of Asturias and Social Sciences award in 2011. His way of seeing the studies I follow them and I firmly believe in them.

I am a person who since childhood has had the ability to study what I like, but what I did not like I totally ignored. Of course, this was frustrating for some of my teachers. Which was logical. Later, with the situation at home, my parents educated me that while you don't have it clear, you have to work and study. I am very grateful to them, because that has made me try much harder and show myself and them that I really did and got what I really wanted.

In my house, as those of you who know me a little or have read something about me before will know, each of my parents think differently. One part believes in energies, intuitions, faith and the esoteric part and the other part was totally skeptical and did not believe anything. I respected it, but all it asked me was to talk about it at home, never outside, to study something that would help me support myself and have a future. After that, if we add to all that I am a little rebellious; my youth has not been easy.

And when I had really accepted that I would only dedicate myself or see everything esoteric, I had already seen him for a long time as he had been explaining himself to me all my life. There is never anything black or white, there are always neutral tones.

It was very difficult for me to understand that he never judged me, but that what he did was to ask me questions or put me in the place where others would attack me.

For this dream, all that initial learning has gone very well for me. Plus the people I have thanked before, who were helping me without being aware of it.

That's why when a client came to me, he was already really disappointed or recommended for me to treat him, but from a totally different sensitivity or perception of seeing things.

My way of seeing things has always been very direct and realistic, which has sometimes been a problem; that is why coaching has been such a satisfying job for me for years. And I have dedicated myself to studying it and specializing deeply in it. But in doing so I saw that I did not identify with anything, but along the way I have found great teachers from other branches that have helped me understand them.

I have had to recycle myself to give the best of myself, as I have always done in any project. But really in this one the difference is that not only I can explain it, but you can apply it, learn and get to use it.

Not just for yourselves but for other people. There are different ways to study and this is what is finally being seen and recognized. All are valid once the level is recognized and checked. The one who learns from the beginning a career; the one who starts working discovers a passion for it and starts studying through Masters, specializes in the subjects that he likes; the self-taught one who studies online because he works or because of a hobby, taking out the career of his dreams even if it is to have it for himself, etc. Everything is equally important.

Today it is proven that studying, reading, music, singing songs (things that before when doing them were not given importance although we are older), all that makes your life better and your brain is more active. If you have a dream you have to pursue it, no matter what age, the experience is something that adds up apart from what you learn by reading.

I will also show you different Coaching that you have not stopped to see or observe, that you have in front of you and that will have helped you at some point in your life. Or simply you will be it and it will be your strong point, why not improve it and take advantage of it? There is always talk of the four or five best known and they are all of equal value.

In order to speak well of some of them, I have studied the subject because it was totally profane in the matter. Thanks to that I liked them, but the best thing is that I found people who made me understand the concepts very well, to get to understand them; so I could work on it perfectly if I wanted to.

That's what a good coach is, that when he explains something to you, he transmits passion, gives you tools so that you can develop, and shows you in a clear way your qualities and your deficiencies in that matter.

I have to admit that there are some issues that I could explain, but I could not put them into practice. What you have to do there is to refer someone and share the work.

Remember that a coach is someone who takes you by the hand and accompanies you in your life for a short time, helping you to achieve goals, giving you the necessary tools to do so. One thing is that after a while the situation or your life changes, and you cross paths again, but for a totally different reason.

I have been working as a coach for many years because of my background, both for my profession that you all know, and for my love of studying and researching; a whole sector that was sensitive-intuitive like me had been excluded.

For this reason I decided to get to work, because when someone has an idea and a dream has to get to work on it. The first thing I did was to analyze the weaknesses, threats, opportunities and strengths of the new method, what it could bring to people. And what I had to do was finish preparing myself very well.

According to Abraham Maslow and his humanist theory, there is a series of needs that the individual has to satisfy, establishing a hierarchy and order for his satisfaction in the form of a pyramid. From them he deduces that all people need to feel integrated in a group.

The first needs such as basic or physiological were covered. These are the ones inherent in every person and basic for the survival of the individual such as breathing, dressing, feeding, etc.

Then I began to study, to make things right at home. I started to work because I wanted to be independent, also to understand myself spiritually with everything that had happened to me in a short space of my life. These needs were for security.

I investigated and inquired about what I liked. I began to meet professionals and started to get to know people; affection was created. These were the social needs.

The take-off was to create my books, to explain everything I liked by transforming it into words, being able to share everything I discovered. I was respected, I had recognition and esteem for people.

And finally my main need for self-realization is to create a method in which people can help themselves, grow and stand on their own feet: Inner Knowledge Coaching.

That is what I have been preparing and studying for all these years. It is where I wanted to get, that people accept themselves without prejudice, valuing themselves and not being afraid of themselves. Seeing that every quality is a virtue and what we have often been told is a defect, well worked can serve as a quality or distraction to achieve our goal. But above all, let's not harm ourselves or let others be harmed by it.

When I was researching there were many types of coaching, but only some were talked about and the others were overlooked; since they were not commercial or given the necessary importance.

But each one in its own style has to have the same value, even if it is really very difficult or almost impossible to explain or to get to value it, because of the time or the dedication it takes.

It is like a gemologist who cuts a diamond; its value is for a lifetime. Or someone who makes something to fit you and you love it, has known how to take your essence in a conversation and translate it into a few conversations. He has captured the essence of what you need, what he would be is a lifelong tailor, for example. He who makes you something and you don't get tired of wearing it, you would never take it off. This is the sector of true craftsmen, who have already lost their way and are almost gone.

So for me, there is no better or worse coaching but it depends on what you need in each moment or the value it will bring to your life.

Thanks to the information and communication technologies, the internet and great communicators that exist today, techniques that have always existed and that can help you are becoming known.

We all shine in something, what you have to find is that you shine, make yourself strong and enjoy it.

What I am going to explain to you are simple things that exist around you, so that you can use them, understand them better, to live the day to day with total comfort taking better advantage of the moments.

At no time do they have to be something rigid, you have to make them flexible, generating them and using them according to the intuition that you will be developing.

This is the basic concept that you will always perceive in the series of Inner Knowledge Coaching books.

Chapter 3- Sorry, but don't forget

We are in a society where they spend all day saying that we have to forgive and forget. Which, logically and coherently, is not the right thing to do.

What is the right thing to do? We have to learn to forgive ourselves, we have to learn to forget about toxic people, to be able to leave them behind, to be able to leave relationships, or if it is at work, not to be affected or disturbed and to be able to reconcile our working life with them.

But why do people spend all their time saying forgive and forget?

Would you tell a child you see putting his hands in the socket or on the fire and burning, to repeat the action each time, or would you put your hand in the fire each time to burn? That would be an abuse. The same thing is repeating that situation over and over again on an emotional level.

Chemistry exists, it is something that cannot be avoided, you like a person or you don't like him, you are attracted to him or not, you feel it or you don't feel it. It depends on the area that you have to deal with the situation; you will have to make a decision or another.

Logically, if it is in the work environment, you have to profile it, treat it from a partner's point of view because it is not your friend. You are only going to deal with that person for a few hours. You have to learn to be sociable and not let their attitude bother you, not let their way of acting affect you, putting walls between you and that person.