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“Sam, I’m so happy you agreed to do this. Thank you.”
His eyes were intent on hers and she felt the heat between them. The cold day didn’t seem to touch her at all while she was enfolded in Sam’s arms.
And when he bent his head, when his lips settled on hers almost possessively, she’d never been warmer in her entire life.
As quickly as they’d come together, he broke away.
“I shouldn’t have done that again,” he muttered.
“We got caught up in the moment. No harm done.”
He looked so relieved she wanted to cry. “Yeah, I guess we did. It’s not as if—” He stopped. “We want to keep this simple.”
“Right. You’re still on the rebound. And the last thing I need right now is an involvement with a man when all I want to do is have a baby and raise it on my own terms.”
His eyes narrowed. “Not altogether on your own terms.”
Karen Rose Smith, an award-winning and bestselling author, has seen more than sixty novels of her published since 1991. Living in Pennsylvania with her husband—who was her college sweetheart—and their two cats, she has been writing full-time since the start of her career. Lately, in addition to writing, she has been crafting jewellery with her husband. She finds designing necklaces and bracelets relaxing enough to let her mind weave plots while she’s beading! Readers can receive updates on Karen’s latest releases and write to her through her website at www.karenrosesmith.com, or at PO Box 1545, Hanover, PA 17331, USA.
For all animal lovers, especially the veterinarians and their staff who care for our pets.
Chapter One
“Will you donate your sperm so I can have a baby?” Corrie Edwards asked her boss.
At his family’s cabin in Minnesota’s snowy woods, Sam Barclay didn’t know whether to laugh out loud or head to the lake for ice-fishing.
Six weeks ago, he’d driven to the cabin to escape the holidays, take a vacation from his veterinary practice, forget his broken engagement and get a perspective on his life.
“You are kidding, right?” His veterinary assistant didn’t understand how much the question unsettled him. He’d called off his wedding because his fiancée had hidden her abortion from him.
“I’m serious, Sam,” Corrie answered with a determined look. “I didn’t drive four hours in this weather without a good reason.”
She was still dressed in her yellow parka, snowflakes melting in her curly red-brown hair. He and his partner had hired her three years ago as a veterinary assistant after they’d bought the clinic.
Studying the brightness of her blue eyes, the dance of freckles across her nose, he felt a tightening in his gut he didn’t want to recognize. This was Corrie for heck’s sake! He was her boss. They talked about animals, the weather and life in Rapid Creek. They’d never had a “personal” conversation.
But you shared, one out-of-this-world, earthshaking kiss, a nudging voice inside his head reminded him.
That had been two years ago…before Alicia.
“Take off your coat and tell me what this is all about. I’ll make a pot of coffee.”
As Corrie slipped off her parka and hung it over a straight-backed chair, Sam noticed the way her blue sweater fell over her breasts, how the fabric hung free of her very slim waist. Her legs were long in her stretch leggings and high boots.
Desire kicked him and forced him to concentrate on making coffee in the galley kitchen. Still, he was aware of Corrie gravitating toward Patches. His brown-and-black mutt had the distinguishing attributes of a Labrador, but about ten other breeds mixed in, too. Jasper, a small buff-colored cocker spaniel who trailed into the cabin with Corrie, had settled down in Patches’s big bed. His dog didn’t seem to mind. Patches flopped down in front of Corrie, thrilled to have her scratch his ears.
For some insane reason, Sam suddenly wondered what Corrie’s touch might feel like—
He swore.
“Something wrong?” she asked, glancing toward him. The cabin was too small to hide a sound or much of anything else.
As her eyes roamed over his face, dropped to his flannel shirt and jeans, he had the feeling she was sizing him up…or else his genes?
He felt heat crawl up under his scruffy week-old beard. “Nothing’s wrong. The coffee will be ready in a few minutes.”
As he lowered himself beside her on the sofa, he felt her tense, saw her shoulders square a bit, her chin go up as if she were ready for a fight or an argument.
Corrie, a fighter?
It was as if her question had unlocked a box that he’d always designated for steady, melt-into-the-background Corrie Edwards and someone else had popped out.
Gently, he asked, “So you want to be a mother?”
When she looked at him, her eyes were shiny with emotion. “I’ve always wanted to be a mother. I’ve just never met the right man. I don’t think I ever will. I’m not getting any younger.”
His protest came easily. “You’re only thirty-three.” A year older than he was.
“Thirty-three might be young as far as the rest of my lifetime goes, but in child-bearing years—” She shook her head. “I have a classmate in Minneapolis who’s thirtyeight. She got pregnant and was doing just fine, then all of a sudden she developed preeclampsia. She almost died. I have another friend in St. Paul who’s thirty-five. She just had her first baby. Her daughter is six months old, but she never imagined raising her would be so difficult—that she wouldn’t have the energy she used to have. She’s so exhausted day after day.”
“That doesn’t mean you’d be like that.”
“I know. But I really want to be a mother, Sam. A mom like my mother was to me. Each year that passes my eggs are getting older and I’m not as fertile. I don’t want to end up childless because I didn’t do this soon enough.”
“And my sperm qualify because…?” He waited, needing to know why she’d come to him.
She laid her hand on his arm. “You’re…” She paused and flushed a bit. “You’re great-looking. You’re a good age. And you’re wonderful with Kyle. I’ve seen you with him.”
His nephew Kyle, who was five, was one of his favorite people. In fact, he liked kids as much as animals. They didn’t have ulterior motives and their reactions were honest.
“I’m flattered, Corrie, really I am. But becoming a father this way—” Her hand on his arm was damn distracting. He had the feeling she didn’t even know it was there. After all, they were just boss and employee. They’d always pretended that kiss had never happened.
She removed her hand from his forearm. “You don’t have to be a father in the real sense. I mean, this could just be a business arrangement. You donate your sperm and that’s that.”
He’d donate his sperm and that was that? “If you got pregnant and I had a child, don’t you think I’d want to be in his life?”
“I don’t know. Would you?”
He thought about Alicia, what she’d done, the sorrow he’d felt, the absolute sense of betrayal. He couldn’t imagine having a child and not wanting to be part of his or her life. “Do you know how sticky this could get?”
“Or not.” She put the emphasis on the not. “If I became pregnant, if I have a baby, I would want a male role model in his or her life. You could fit in that way. As I said, I’ve seen you with Kyle. You’d be great. But I also know your brother Nathan said you’re researching setting up veterinary clinics in foreign countries. If you decide that’s something you want to do, you wouldn’t have any strings tying you here.”
“A child is one awfully big string.”
Corrie studied him. “I thought men just wanted to donate their sperm then shirk responsibility.”
“Where did you get your opinion of men?”
Corrie’s cheeks reddened. “It doesn’t matter where my opinion comes from, does it? I just don’t believe becoming a father is on most men’s agendas when they have sex. They walk away as soon as something goes wrong…as soon as they see someone else they’d rather be with.”
Sam wanted to shout, That’s not true. My mother was the one who walked away. But he didn’t. Corrie’s opinion was Corrie’s opinion. Something obviously had happened to her to make her believe it. Hadn’t he himself concluded in the past few weeks that he was destined to be a bachelor? His father had trusted a woman and she’d walked out on her husband and kids. Sam had taken a chance on love and had been hurt just as badly.
“Let me tell you something, Corrie. If I were to father a child, I would not shirk my responsibility. That’s something you’d have to decide whether you could live with or not.”
Her eyes widened. “I never expected you’d want to be…involved.”
Because after their kiss in the tavern that New Year’s Eve they’d ignored the chemistry, ignored the possibility of connection? Why had he ignored it?
The answer came swiftly. He’d sensed Corrie had walls he’d have difficulty breaking down. Besides neither of them had wanted to tamper with a boss-employee relationship that worked. Apparently neither of them had been ready for a relationship much more intimate than that.
He was aware of a pleasant scent that always seemed to surround Corrie, something like peaches and vanilla. It must be a lotion she used or a shampoo. Right now, inhaling it, studying her heart-shaped face, the wild mass of auburn curls, the scent wrapped itself around him.
Needing that cup of coffee, he rose to his feet and went to the kitchen. Her gaze followed him, and he found himself unnerved by her proposition. He should just say no. Why was he even considering it?
Because becoming a dad, even in this way, could give purpose to his life? A purpose it didn’t have now?
Jasper suddenly decided he’d had enough of a nap. He stood, shook himself and came trotting over to Sam to look up at him expectantly.
“What can I do for you?” Sam asked, eager to change the subject, at least for a little while until he got his thoughts together.
“Whenever I go to my kitchen, he wants a treat. I have a few in my coat pocket.”
Before Corrie could rise from the sofa, Sam said, “I’ll get them.” He went to her coat and found a bag. He took out a treat. The pup stood up on hind legs and danced around Sam until Sam dropped it into his mouth.
“You haven’t told me why you’re taking care of Shirley Klinedinst’s dog.”
The expression on Corrie’s face changed and her voice lowered. “Shirley passed on two weeks ago.”
“Oh, Corrie, I’m sorry.” He knew Corrie and the older woman had gotten close. Shirley’s old farmhouse on the outskirts of town had been too much for her to handle and had fallen into disrepair. Shirley had had no relatives in town and Sam knew Corrie had stopped in at least once a week to check on her and help out.
“Her lawyer called me after she was taken to the hospital and said he had instructions to bring Jasper to me if anything happened to her…at least until her estate is settled. Apparently she made some kind of arrangement for Jasper in her will. I said I’d take care of him, of course.”
As soon as Jasper finished crunching on his treat, he ran over to Corrie and jumped up onto the sofa beside her. She laughed and hugged him and Sam felt himself touched in some way. Oh, he saw Corrie with animals every day. She handled them confidently and expertly. But seeing her with Jasper now…was different somehow. In his mind, he imagined her growing large with child, cuddling the baby after it was born, chasing after a toddler. The Corrie Edwards he was seeing today was very different from the one he’d summarily dismissed the past few years.
Was the change in him today, or was it in her?
Or had the question she’d asked him changed his perception of her? Maybe that question had made him see her as a woman rather than an employee.
“You can’t drive back this evening, you know.”
Her head came up and her gaze locked to his. “Why not?”
“You’re going to be snowed in. The crews won’t clear this road until the snowplows take care of the interstate.”
“I have four-wheel drive.”
“Be realistic, Corrie. It’s already getting dark. What if you get stranded? There’s no cell phone reception. You couldn’t even call me.”
She looked down at the little cocker spaniel, and he knew she was thinking about Jasper, too. She wouldn’t do anything to put that animal in harm’s way. “I didn’t plan on staying. I didn’t bring extra clothes—”
“Or a toothbrush?” he teased. “What? You were planning to run in here, drop that question on me, then run out again? Why didn’t you just wait until I came back? Nathan and Sara’s wedding is next weekend, and I can’t miss it.”
“I heard about the wedding. But honestly, that’s another reason I drove up here today. I thought it might be awkward working together until you gave me an answer. I didn’t want you to feel…pressured.”
“Once I give you my decision, we’ll still be working together.”
“I know. But if you don’t want to do it, we’ll just go on as if I never asked.”
In other words, Corrie wanted him to give this plan of hers serious thought without any distractions.
Sam’s knee brushed hers as he shifted toward her. “You want me to consider your idea seriously.”
Her eyes grew shiny. “This means a lot to me, Sam.”
He knew Corrie had lost her mom shortly before taking the job with him and Eric, but he didn’t know much else about her background. “Do you have brothers or sisters…family?”
“My dad is in Minneapolis. But we’re…not close. I always wanted brothers and sisters. You’re lucky to have two brothers.” Corrie sounded wistful.
“Nathan and Ben are great when they mind their own business. But every once in a while, they’re not busy enough with their own lives and think they have to poke into mine.” Sam was the youngest, Nathan the eldest and soon to be a newlywed. These days Nathan’s fiancée, Sara, and his son Kyle were his sole focus. Ben was the middle brother, an Assistant District Attorney in Albuquerque, New Mexico, and a cynic about women and life.
“When I was a kid, Ben, Nathan and I were like the Three Musketeers. One for all and all for one. I can’t imagine not having that support. Were you lonely?”
“Sometimes,” she admitted. “But that’s why I took in strays and found them homes.”
He’d always known Corrie was a woman who cared deeply. He could tell because of the way she handled animals. Now he saw there was a depth to her he’d never noticed before. Depth and natural beauty.
If they had a baby together…
A baby.
The thought was running around in his head as if it might want to find a permanent place there. Sitting so close to Corrie, he had the sudden desire to stroke her hair behind her ear, to taste her pretty pink lips—
“We should probably take the dogs out before the snow gets any deeper and the temperature drops for the night,” he decided gruffly.
As he went to the hook beside the door for his ski jacket to brave the January night, he couldn’t help thinking about the fact that Corrie wanted to have his baby. The idea definitely fed his ego.
But it also created turmoil.
Because of what Alicia had done?
He had to figure out the answer before he could give Corrie a yes or a no.
Corrie was ready to jump out of her skin.
Spend the night with Sam Barclay in his cabin? She’d never imagined that in her wildest dreams. Well, maybe she had. Maybe that was the problem.
She felt Sam’s gaze on her as she pretended to watch Jasper romp in the snow. After Patches chased him, the smaller dog returned the favor. All the while, she knew Sam was trying to figure out exactly who she was.
She was a woman who’d had a crush on her boss since she’d been hired. She was a woman who didn’t really attract men because she didn’t want to…with good reason. Her father had been unfaithful to her mother. Corrie would never forget the day she had walked in on him and witnessed that infidelity firsthand. It had changed her relationship with her parents forever. When she’d fallen in love in college, she’d learned the guy hadn’t been in love with her. After they’d made love, he’d moved on to the next challenge, and she’d learned she’d been a dare and a notch on his belt. That experience had set her up to steer clear of any romantic entanglement.
She hadn’t wanted to be attracted to Sam Barclay after he and his partner had hired her. But there was something about his grin, something about his gentle eyes, something about the way he talked to animals that had gotten to her. And then there had been that New Year’s Eve kiss almost two years ago. But afterward he’d never looked her way again. He’d been too busy making a success of the clinic with Eric. And then, last year, he’d fallen hard for travel agent, Alicia Walker, whom he’d met when he was planning a trip to Africa to a game preserve. He and Alicia had been an item until this past August.
No one seemed to know why the couple had broken up, but Corrie had seen how devastated Sam was. She’d worried about him when he’d left for these woods before Thanksgiving, but she’d also realized she had to make something happen in her own life. That had been her New Year’s resolution. It had taken her the past two weeks to find the courage to drive up here.
She’d kept asking herself—What’s the worst that can happen? He could say no.
If he did, she’d go to a fertility clinic in Minneapolis.
But he hadn’t said no yet and that gave her hope.
The wind was picking up. Shivering, Corrie headed for the cabin with Jasper following. “See you inside,” she said brightly as if spending the night with Sam was no big deal, as if the quiet of the cabin wouldn’t have to be filled with conversation, as if she wouldn’t be aware of every move he made, every word he uttered, every glance he cast her way.
Sam was her boss. She had to play this right because whether he said yes or no, she didn’t want to get fired.
Just as he called to her—“Watch out, that bottom step gets slippery”—she found out for herself. Her boot slipped and she would have ended up as a pile in the snow if Sam hadn’t been right there, his arms circling her, his cheek almost brushing hers.
“Are you okay?” His voice was low and husky, his breath warm against her skin. “You didn’t turn your ankle did you?”
Because Sam hadn’t shaved for a while, the stubble on his jaw was as dark as his brown hair. He was so sexy that even with the temperature dropping, hers was warming up.
After gulping in one very cold breath, she managed to say, “My ankle’s fine.”
“I’ll help you up the steps.” He was still looking at her, and she had the weird sensation he was really seeing her for the first time. They’d worked around each other for three years yet this awareness hadn’t been there before. Maybe it was all on her part. After all, she’d always hidden her attraction to him, never let it peek out.
His large hand under her elbow, Sam made sure her footing was secure and steered her to the door. As she opened it and stepped inside, he whistled to Patches and the big dog came running.
Both dogs shook snow from their coats and sent flakes flying.
“Do you have a towel I can use on Jasper?” Corrie asked Sam. “I don’t want his fur to get all matted.”
“Sure, I’ll look for something for you to wear, too.”
“For me to wear?”
“You don’t want to sleep in your clothes do you?”
She hadn’t really thought about it. “I can.”
“No need,” he said with a shrug. “I have a flannel shirt that will probably fall to your knees.”
When Corrie thought about undressing and wearing one of Sam’s shirts, she felt all goose-bumpy; the reaction wasn’t from being outside.
After Sam brought her the towel and laid the shirt on the sofa, she rubbed down Jasper but she could feel Sam’s attention focused on her.
“What?” she asked, looking up from her crouch next to the dog.
“I’m just thinking about you being a mother.”
She felt her cheeks go warm. Was he going to say yes? “And?” She prompted.
He looked uncomfortable and she saw an expression cross his face that she couldn’t read. It looked like sadness. Maybe something even deeper than sadness. “I think you’ll be good at it.”
His words should give her confidence. They were a compliment. But she sensed something was troubling him and she didn’t know what it was. She wasn’t sure they knew each other well enough for him to confide in her. Did his thoughts have something to do with Alicia? Promises they’d made…hopes they’d had?
She’d come to Sam because he had so many qualities she admired—compassion and gentleness at the top of the list. He really was wonderful with his nephew and seemed to like children as much as animals. That’s why she’d imagined he might be open to this idea.
Suddenly Sam muttered in a low voice, “Being a mother is a twenty-four-hour-a-day job.”
She sank back on her heels and let Jasper run off with Patches. “I know that.”
“Some women don’t realize how much of a commitment that is. I guess that’s why they get depressed after they have a baby.”
“I know how much of a commitment motherhood is. I watched my mom raise me by herself after my dad divorced her. I know firsthand what being a single parent is all about.” She also knew what betrayal was all about and infidelity and a man’s inability to keep the most important promise he’d ever made. When she looked at Sam and felt a pull toward him, she had to remember that. She had to remember that attraction didn’t go very far, and neither did the first couple of years of wedded bliss. All she had to do was envision her mother’s tears and she could separate Sam the father to be, from Sam the attractive hunk.
“My parents divorced, too,” Sam admitted. “But my dad raised us. My mother walked out because she wanted other things. Having a family was a commitment that took too much out of her. I guess what I’m saying, Corrie, is that you have to be absolutely sure about this, sure it’s what you want. If you make this decision, you can never go back.”
“I’m not impulsive, Sam,” she argued, while at the same time realizing how hurt Sam must have been by his mother leaving.
He came a few steps closer to her. “It’s just with this, the idea might be a lot more rewarding than the actual reality. Having a baby isn’t easy and raising one is even harder.”
“I can’t let fear hold me back from doing something I’ve wanted my entire adult life. Sure, I love animals, but I want kids, Sam.”
His brows quirked up. “Kids?”
She sighed. “I’ll start with one then go from there.”
“Do you know how much it costs to raise a child nowadays?”
She put her hand up in front of her and almost touched his chest. Almost. “Stop! Just stop. I didn’t come here to ask your permission to have a child. Whether you’re willing to donate your sperm or not, I’m going to do this. It’s not a debate, it’s a dream I’m going to make come true.” She rarely showed her temper to Sam, if ever, but he was making her mad—as if he knew best…as if he were so much more experienced.
Although she thought he might back away, he didn’t. He studied her with his steady brown eyes and she felt all trembly inside. She just wanted his sperm. She didn’t want to feel…attracted. She didn’t even want to think about them parenting together. She knew she couldn’t count on Sam, just as she couldn’t count on any male. She’d thought he’d be good father material, but who actually knew? She was going to be the constant in her child’s life. She was going to make the important decisions. If Sam was the father, well, she’d just see how much he’d stick around. But the bottom line was, she didn’t expect him to.