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Cover Page
Excerpt
About the Author
Title Page
Epigraph
Dedication
Prologue
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty-One
Chapter Twenty-Two
Chapter Twenty-Three
Chapter Twenty-Four
Chapter Twenty-Five
Chapter Twenty-Six
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Chapter Thirty
Chapter Thirty-One
Dear Reader
Copyright
“You’re giving your son away?”
“It’s the best for him,” Bryan said, ignoring Jacob’s happy squeals.
Laura looked through the photo album. “I realize that your family was broken up just when it was starting, but you and Jacob need each other more than ever.”
Laura felt her words of comfort were hollow. How could she possibly help someone else deal with his grief when she had such difficulty herself?
“The three of us were never a family.” Bryan grabbed the album and snapped it shut. Jacob wailed, frantically reaching for Laura. She swept him into her arms and bounced him until he’d calmed down.
“I’m just not cut out for fatherhood. You make parenting look so easy.”
“Abandoned. Confused. Angry. Afraid.” Laura’s tone hardened. “Easy? I know what you’re feeling because I was there.”
Why was it that this man could infuriate her at the same time her heart swelled with feelings she couldn’t understand?
CAROL STEWARD
lives-with her hero/husband of twenty years and three teenage children in Greeley, Colorado. When she isn’t busy caring for preschoolers in her home, she keeps busy with the activities of her daughter and two sons, and with volunteer work for various organizations. A retired cake decorator, Carol enjoys camping, restoring antiques, tole-painting, needlework, gardening, traveling, sewing and collecting Noah’s Ark items.
She loves to hear from her readers. You may write to her at Carol Steward P.O. Box 5021 Greeley, CO 80631-0021.
There Comes a Season
Carol Steward
www.millsandboon.co.uk
To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven:…A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
—Ecclesiastes 3:1,4
To Dave, who’s always my hero; to Sarah, Matthew and Scott for your encouragement and understanding; to my mom and dad for a strong base to believe in myself; to my family and special friends, for inspiring me; to my critique group, for your patience and perseverance; to all of you, thanks for believing in me!
In loving memory of my brother-in-law, Dan.
Prologue
“He’s coming back! I know he is. He promised me, Mommy. Daddy said he’d take me fishing today.”
“No honey, he’s not.” The tears fell from Laura Bates’s eyes as she held her six-year-old son. Chad had seen the paramedics work on his father in the middle of the night and screamed when they took him away. “Chad, Daddy died. He can’t ever come home.”
“Why didn’t you stop him! You should have stopped him!”
She couldn’t control his anger, or the sting as his words pierced her heart. Though Laura understood that Chad didn’t know what he was saying and how badly it hurt her, it didn’t stop the guilt from digging deeper into her soul. “I tried. Believe me, I tried.”
“I want Daddy!”
“I know. I do, too.” She gave Chad a kiss and looked at her older son, T.J., who stood silently looking out the window toward the tree house he and his father had built the previous month. “Come here T.J.,” Laura said gently. T.J. obeyed, dragging his feet. There were no tears in her son’s eyes, just a stoic expression on his face.
T.J. took a jagged breath, and finally a terrified grimace appeared. Laura gently drew his stocky body into her embrace. “It’s okay to cry, T.J., don’t stop the tears.”
“Uncle Ian said boys shouldn’t cry.”
“Uncle Ian is wrong. It’s going to hurt for a long time, and if you want to cry, it’s okay.” Laura touched her forehead to his and they rubbed noses. T.J. grinned.
Her daughter, Carrie began crying as she joined her mom and younger brothers. She had always been her daddy’s girl. Laura brushed the tears from Carrie’s face. “I love you, Carrie, and so did your dad. He loved you kids very much.”
“Oh, Mom.” She sobbed. “I’m going to miss him so much.”
“I know, punkin. It’s not going to be easy.” They sat in Todd’s stuffed chair comforting each other for a long while before the beams of sunlight came through the maple trees and lit the breakfast nook.
Laura rubbed the back of her neck and shoulders and moved her fingers up to her temples and pushed hard, trying to force away the recurring memory of waking with a chill in her spine.
Her best friend touched her shoulder. “Laura, why don’t you go lie down for a while. You need some rest Family will be here soon.”
“Thanks for coming, Barb. Sorry I woke you.”
“It’s okay. Go to bed, honey.”
As Laura walked into her bedroom, she realized she was exhausted. She stared at the walls of the room she and Todd had shared, looked out the window, tossed and turned, but rest eluded her. How could you do this to us, Todd? You said you’d see us in the morning, you held me last night. How can I ever go on without you? Laura cried, and yelled, and pounded her fists into the pillow, as if she were still trying to save Todd.
Weary, she lay down, listening to the silence. Hers was not a quiet house. Her children were never quiet, Todd wasn’t quiet and the toddlers and preschoolers she watched certainly weren’t quiet. The silence surrounding her now was proof that nothing would ever be the same. She wanted to hear the laughter again, to see Todd chasing the kids through the house. She wanted to yell at all of them to settle down. “Oh, God,” she silently prayed, “please let me yell at Todd to grow up again. The big kid never got the chance,” she whispered.
Laura heard the faint drumming of raindrops on the roof, fast, then slow, then the splash of water as cars drove by. “How appropriate that you should make this a dreary, wet, good for nothing but curling up in bed day, God. At least you didn’t make it a beautiful, sunny, perfect fishing day. You explain to the kids why their father won’t be here to take them fishing anymore! You tell them who will answer their tough questions! You tell them who is going help them grow up, because I have no idea how to do all of this without him!” She pounded the tearstained pillow and shoved it under her head.
A few days later, Chad asked his mother, “Who will my new daddy be?”
Laura froze. “What makes you ask that?”
She could see Chad was surprised by her response and possibly a little embarrassed at his own question. “We talked about it in Sunday school.”
“They talked to you about finding a new daddy?” She felt a sudden chill.
“No, but ‘Lizabeth’s daddy is getting married, and I was just wondering if you would.”
“Sometimes parents do meet another person, fall in love and get married.”
“If you get married, will you still love us?”
“I won’t ever stop loving you. Getting married doesn’t mean parents will love their children less. God helps us make more love.”
Once they were home, Laura took Chad into her arms. “Chad, right now, I’m not ready to find you a new daddy. I have you three, and that’s all I need. I loved your dad a lot, and I’m not sure I can ever love anyone that much again.”
“If we ask God to help you, you can. I’ll help.”
How in the world could she deny a little boy’s prayers? God’s words of reassurance came to mind, “I can do all things through Him that strengthens me.” She sighed. “Thank you, love. I know that God could help, but give us some time, okay?” Laura hugged him gently—for his innocence, his honesty and his naive faith. Time would only prove Chad wrong. She loved her son dearly, and wished this was one lesson she didn’t have to let him learn on his own.
Later that night, she couldn’t help but wonder if there would ever be a man brave enough to accept her and her three children? Someone man enough to dim these memories of her past? A man strong enough to dare her to love again?
Chapter One
Laura Bates opened her front door. A tall man holding an adorable baby stood on her doorstep.
“Mrs. Bates? As in the child care provider, Mrs. Bates?”
She extended her hand to shake his, admiring the darkest brown eyes she’d ever seen. “Yes,” she said, uncomfortable being introduced as a married woman, but uneasy sharing her circumstances with strangers. “All the parents call me Laura. This must be Jacob.” She smiled, hoping to set the father at ease over his obvious surprise at her age. “Come in.”
Laura realized she was staring at him, and that their hands were still clenched. Todd’s only been dead four months. What am I doing admiring this stranger? She loosened her grip, shoving her hand into her pocket as she moved out of the doorway.
Bryan stepped into the living room. “I must admit, I didn’t expect someone so…young, Laura. My secretary led me to believe…” Bryan’s deep voice, which was shadowed with a Southern accent, trailed off.
“Vicky didn’t inform either of us very well,” Laura quipped. “I thought both you and your wife would be coming.”
Jacob squirmed in his father’s arms. Laura watched Bryan handle his son, his large hands seeming incredibly uncomfortable with this minute task. She noted a tan line on his left hand where a ring had recently been removed. Her gaze roamed up his arm to his broad shoulders and then to his face. She could see Bryan was tense. No wonder the baby’s cranky. Relax. She wasn’t sure if he’d heard her or was ignoring her comment. She let it go unanswered.
Two heads peeked around the corner and caught Bryan’s attention. “Are these your children?”
Laura pushed her curiosity aside and focused on the question. “Yes. Carrie is ten, and Chad is six. My eight-year-old son is playing with friends this evening. Please have a seat” Laura motioned toward an overstuffed chair.
Noticing his double-breasted suit, she wished that she had worn something nicer than blue jeans and a sweater. What should you have worn? A dress and heels? Get real Laura, this is how you always dress.
She watched Bryan scrutinize the room. He surely noticed the well-worn antiques, piles of children’s art overflowing from the rolltop desk, and jackets tossed beneath the coatrack by hurried children. He studied the family portrait hanging on the wall. It was a recent enough picture that one would assume just by looking at it that the same contentment existed in their lives today.
Before Bryan asked about her husband, Laura proceeded. She didn’t want to talk about that tonight. “We covered the basics over the phone, but I hope you’ve thought of more questions.”
Laura set a manila envelope on the table next to her as she tried to take her eyes off this surprisingly handsome man with a stern look on his face. Business, Laura. He’s here on business. And even if he wasn’t, Bryan is obviously nothing like Todd.
“Right.” Bryan shifted uncomfortably in the chair, switching the fussy two-month-old to the other leg. “How long have you been baby-sitting?”
“Mom doesn’t baby-sit. She’s a child care provider,” Chad exclaimed as he entered the room. He walked over and sat with his mother while Carrie stayed inconspicuously around the corner.
“Chad, I’ll be glad to answer Mr. Beaumont’s questions myself.” She wrapped her arm around her son and kissed his forehead. “I’ve been a licensed child care provider for six years. And as you can see, I’ve had over ten years of mothering experience. I’ll be glad to give you references, Mr. Beaumont.”
“Please, call me Bryan.” He lifted Jacob to his shoulder and thumped the baby’s back. “Vicky’s recommendation is enough.” After Bryan tried unsuccessfully to quiet his son, Chad crawled over and made funny faces at the baby.
Bryan’s dark brown hair was cut conservatively, short in the back and stylishly long on top. Guessing by his appearance, his career came first. It wasn’t just the suit. The crisp white shirt, silk tie and fine leather loafers gave him a sophisticated appeal. Laura admired the shadow of his beard, and found herself wondering if he’d had a long day, or if he left it, enjoying the affect it had on women. Whichever the case, it worked.
“Maybe he has gas. How long ago did you feed him?” Chad said, offering his youthful expertise.
Bryan chuckled, and again, Laura found herself distracted by Jacob’s father. Her son’s forwardness was bound to get her into a fix if she didn’t do something to intervene.
“Chad, I’m sure Mr., um, Bryan can handle it. Why don’t you and Carrie go downstairs to play. We’ll be down in a few minutes to show him the playroom.”
One corner of Bryan’s mouth turned up. He reached out a hand to the youth and grasped his hand in a respectful handshake. “Thanks for the suggestions, Chad. Looks like my son would be in good hands here.” Laura watched her son beam with pride at Bryan’s attention. Chad and his sister raced for the stairs. “What kind of schedule will you put a baby on?”
“What? Oh, schedule. I believe in letting babies set their own, within reason.”
“No schedule? At all?”
Relieved to be discussing children again, Laura relaxed. “Babies normally settle into their own routine within a few weeks. Then again, just as they do, they hit a growing spurt or teething, and it changes. Flexibility helps.”
“I guess I didn’t do so bad this week after all, then. How many children do you watch?” Bryan’s tension escalated as Jacob grew more fussy.
“Six preschoolers and my own three-when they aren’t in school. It sounds like a lot, but the limits really are reasonable.” The baby wailed, and Laura put her hands in front of her. “Could I hold Jacob for you?”
“My pleasure. Since his mother died, I’ve had a lot to learn about babies. Talk about a cram course on parenting.”
She felt as if someone had just punched her in the stomach. That would explain why Vicky didn’t say anything. She wanted them to find that common ground. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize,” she managed to reply.
His jaw worked back and forth. “I thought Vicky would have explained that when she called. Work’s piling up at the office, and Mr. Mom I’m not. The nanny and I didn’t get along, so I let her go. I’ve gotten myself in quite a mess.”
“Excuse me, Bryan…”
“Jacob’s constant screaming convinced me that I needed to make some changes. Even as inexperienced as I am, I know when a baby needs something. Problem is, at the rate I’m going, I’ll figure out what it is by the time the kid can talk.”
Bryan regarded the gentle way she held Jacob. In a matter of minutes, she’d calmed him down. She rubbed the baby’s back as Jacob’s big brown eyes searched her face. Bryan looked to Laura’s left hand for a wedding ring, chastising himself for his interest, and surprised by his disappointment when he saw one.
He could almost feel Jacob’s small body go limp in her embrace, and wondered if the baby had ever been held with such tenderness by his own mother. He doubted it. Bryan couldn’t believe how wonderful it felt watching this woman cuddle his son.
The son Andrea had kept from him.
“Bryan, I know what you’re going through…” Laura said.
Startling Bryan out of a bitter recollection of his wife, Bryan felt the muscles in his entire body tense. “You couldn’t begin to imagine…” He stopped, realizing he almost dumped his resentment on this woman who seemed nothing like a stranger.
He looked up at her, feeling an unexplainable peace for the first time in days.
There was no doubt that he liked her. But was it the confident way she presented herself, her gentleness or the crystal blue eyes that invited him to open his heart? He gazed at her wavy hair, wondering if it was as touchable as it appeared.
What am I thinking? She’s happily married. Get your mind back on business, Beaumont! What’s wrong with you? Reprimanding himself, Bryan blurted out the first thing that came to mind. “Can he start right away?”
Laura seemed startled, hesitating before she answered. “The opening is available as of Monday, however…”
“Have you interviewed a lot of families for this position? It seems infant openings are in great demand.”
Laura lifted her gaze to his, irritated at this man’s presumptuousness. “I haven’t advertised the opening yet.” Truth be known, she’d been picking up the phone to do so when he’d called.
She looked back at the baby in her arms. As much as her heart ached for these two and the pain they were feeling, she couldn’t do it.
Laura considered how to tell Bryan that she wasn’t up to taking on a child who would need an extra dose of mothering.
“Mr. Beaumont, I think you’d be better off looking for another live-in nanny under the circumstances.”
“I beg your pardon?”
“I didn’t realize the situation. I think a nanny might fit your needs better. I’m sorry I wasted your time.”
“Just a minute, Mrs. Bates. I’m staying with a friend—until my house sells. The last thing we need is some woman…I mean, a nanny’s not a possibility. You came very highly recommended, and I need someone to care for Jacob.”
Laura looked into Bryan’s eyes, then at his son. Questions raced through her mind. She heard a little voice reminding her of the pastor’s sermon the previous week: “Let each of you look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.” But God, I have my own pain to deal with. I haven’t the strength to help a single father who obviously has no idea what to do with his baby.
Her personal struggle with this was far from over. She couldn’t say yes to Bryan Beaumont. This time, God was expecting too much. Meeting her own family’s needs was more than enough to handle.
Running her child care business, baking cakes, shuffling children between school and extracurricular activities would have been enough. But now Laura was responsible for her own duties in addition to those Todd had handled prior to his death. There simply was no extra time or energy for counseling anyone, let alone a chauvinistic executive who was willing to exchange his paternal duties for his own career.
Before her emotions took over, she backed away, using her firmest business voice. “Before either of us make any decision, I recommend you review this packet. I also require that one parent visit during business hours before enrolling your child so you can see firsthand how I run my business. This also allows you to meet the other children that I care for. Enclosed in the packet is a copy of my policies, a letter outlining my child care philosophy, as well as a sample contract. Please read everything thoroughly.” Laura motioned to the manila envelope on the table next to him.
The very way he handled himself told her that he was a man accustomed to success. If she was right, once the virile Bryan Beaumont experienced six preschoolers in action, he’d be out of her house quicker than a firecracker on the Fourth of July.
Bryan picked up the envelope, stood and walked over to her. “Thanks for reconsidering, Laura. I’ll see you in the morning.” He took the baby, and walked to an expensive foreign-made car.
“I have not reconsidered,” she muttered as the door closed behind him.
Chapter Two
Bryan pulled to a stop at the red light, then brushed Jacob’s dark fuzzy hair to one side with his hand. “How can one baby turn a man’s life upside down?”
Jacob pursed his lips and grasped the finger Bryan offered, holding it tight until Bryan pulled to a stop in front of Kevin’s house. Bryan took Jacob from the car seat, then shouldered the strap of the diaper bag and grabbed his briefcase.
After changing clothes and feeding Jacob his bottle, Bryan turned to Kevin. “I could use a run. You mind watching Jacob for an hour?”
“Mind? The kid and I have some football plays to discuss.”
“I have my pager, if you need anything.”
“Get out of here. We’ll be fine. It’s you I’m worried about. Take it easy today, you’re not as young as you used to be.” Kevin picked up the baby, then tucked the diaper bag under his arm and pretended to be charging through the offensive line on his way out the door.
Not for the first time in the last week, Bryan watched Kevin with envy, wondering how a dedicated bachelor had developed such a way with babies. Kids had always intrigued Bryan, but when his bride had announced that a baby would ruin her petite figure and her career, he’d eventually given up trying to change her mind. He’d directed his energy into his career, setting aside all hopes of a family. It was evident now that he wasn’t father material.
Torturing himself more, Bryan remembered how tenderly Laura had held Jacob. How could a woman who didn’t even know the child have such an effect on him? It seems like the first time Jacob has relaxed in a week. I’ve got to convince Laura to take care of him.
Bryan ran down the stairs and out the door. He cleared the last steps in one leap, starting his run at a rapid pace. Despite Kevin’s warning, today was a day to push himself…again.
As he ran, his lawyer’s haunting voice returned…“Bryan, Andrea’s lawyer called this morning…She died in an automobile accident yesterday. That’s not all. You’d better sit down…You have a son.”
A son.
His son.
Two days later, Jacob had arrived in the arms of a nanny. Three days later, they were on their own…
Bryan pushed harder.
Faster.
After extending his regime of rigorous sprints up and down the hill, he walked to stretch his aching muscles, grateful for anything that would take his mind off the ache in his heart.
Distracted by a group of boys playing football on the practice field ahead of him, Bryan ignored everything except the one boy who’d captured his attention.
“What a throw.”
An intense pain suddenly gripped the back of Bryan’s leg. He grabbed his calf muscle as his body hit the hard ground. Bryan groaned aloud, struggling to stretch his leg.
From across the field, he heard yelling. “Help! Call 911! Call 911!”
“What?” Bryan turned to see what the boys were screaming about, when the kid he’d been watching suddenly dropped beside him, a look of terror in his huge eyes.