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“I remember you had to live at home with her while you were attending UT.”
Promising herself she was not going to fall prey to the attraction between them, Libby nodded. “Part of it was that she needed someone to take care of her by then, but the other part was that she didn’t want me doing anything the least bit reckless.”
“Which is where Percy came in,” Holden guessed.
Libby made a face. In retrospect she could hardly believe her recklessness. “After Aunt Ida passed, that was all I wanted to do. Percy took me skydiving and hiking and taught me how to water-ski.” More than anything, the diversion had helped her survive her mourning.
Holden moved closer, holding her gaze in an increasingly intimate way. “You don’t do any of that stuff anymore.”
Hanging on to her composure by a thread, she rubbed a nick on the counter with her fingertip. “I guess I had more of my aunt in me than I realized because I never really liked it.”
Any more than I like selling tractors and ranch equipment now.
“But … at the same time—” Libby lifted her chin, drew a deep breath “—I had something to prove. Once that was accomplished, my total freedom to finally do as I pleased verified that I actually wanted a more sedate lifestyle.” She flashed him a rueful smile, aware that what had comforted her had eventually ended up nearly doing him in. “Which was where you entered the picture….”
“I went back to doing those things with Percy when you stopped.”
“And—contrary to what you might have thought—I really was appreciative.”
“That I took your place?”
“I knew Percy wasn’t going to stop indulging in physically challenging activities. He was too much of a daredevil for that. I was glad he had someone trustworthy and levelheaded to go with him.”
Holden’s expression radiated guilt, and silence fell between them.
Compassion for his plight forced her to go on. “So you see, Holden,” Libby continued gently, “you have already done more than enough for both Percy and for me. You really don’t have to squire me around, the way you did tonight.”
“Suppose I want to,” Holden said. “What then?”
She blinked. “Why would you want to do that?” she demanded.
Merriment turned up the corners of his lips. “Because it occurs to me now that I need a rebound woman as much as you need a rebound man.”
HER HEARTBEAT KICKING UP a notch, Libby studied him. “You’re serious.”
Holden lounged against the counter opposite her, his arms folded against his chest. He stared at her with a steely resolve that matched her own. “Think about it. I’ll always view you as Percy’s wife.”
Trying not to think what his steady appraisal and deep voice did to her, Libby appraised him right back. “And I’ll always regard you as his best friend.”
Cynicism twisted a corner of his mouth. “So there’s no chance either of us will take a dating arrangement to heart.”
Libby began to see where he was going with this. His proposal could be the solution to both their problems, as well as a bridge to the future. “It’ll just be part of the process we both need to go through to get back out there.”
“Right,” he said casually. “Kind of like riding a bike …”
Stubbornly, she kept her eyes locked with his, even as her heart raced like a wild thing in her chest. “We’re going to need ground rules,” she warned.
He accepted her condition with a matter-of-fact nod. “The more specific, the better.”
“How long should we do this?”
He shrugged, considering. “Through New Year’s?”
Libby drummed her fingers on the countertop. “That would get us all the way through the holidays.”
His big body began to relax. “It’s always good not to be alone this time of year.”
She nodded and took a deep breath. “Invites too much pity. Which—” she leaned in close “—is something I think we can agree neither of us needs.”
A companionable silence fell between them. Searching for other pitfalls, Libby said, “What about our friends and your family?”
Holden grimaced, suddenly looking like a knight charged with protecting his queen. “I don’t see any need to make a big announcement. They’ll figure it out. Eventually.”
She appreciated his desire to shield her from hurt. And while she didn’t need his chivalry, in this one instance she supposed it wouldn’t hurt to accept it. “That would lessen the pressure.”
“And perhaps the scrutiny, as well.”
He was right in that respect. There was nothing worse than having everyone tracking the progress of a new romance, and then broadcasting the “latest developments” to everyone they knew.
“What about sex?” Libby pressed, perfectly willing to keep their process of renewal private. “Because if you’re expecting to go to bed with me as part of our bargain …”
Holden winced, as if he found the whole idea painful and awkward. “I don’t think we need to make it a condition of the relationship,” he interjected swiftly.
Libby breathed a sigh of relief.
“On the other hand …” he continued with a wicked smile. He was ready for whatever came.
Was she?
Hit with a sudden case of nerves, Libby cleared her throat. “I’m not sure I …” She stopped, unable to go on. There were shortcomings she did not wish to discuss. Her ability to hold a man’s attention in the bedroom topped the list.
Holden frowned, all protective male again. “Then don’t worry about it,” he said, his gaze sincere. “We’re only going to be together for six weeks. Then we’ll be moving on. Frankly, it might be better for our friendship if we didn’t consummate the dating thing.”
Libby relaxed again. “Thank you.”
Not that she was surprised. Holden McCabe was always a true gentleman.
“IS IT TRUE?” Several LRE employees confronted Libby the next morning the minute she walked in the front door. “Are you really planning to sell Lowell Ranch Equipment?”
Lucia Gordon, the dealership receptionist, wrung her hands. “We figured you were just talking to Jeff Johnston to price him out of the market and get him to stop calling you.”
“Today, I’ve already had requests from him to fax all the financials over to him at the Laramie Inn, ASAP,” Vince Hunt reported.
Libby directed the group into her private office, where everyone stood shoulder to shoulder. She put down her purse and coffee mug. “He should not have asked you that. He should have come through me for any further information he needed.”
“Percy left the dealership to you because you’re the last of the Lowells and he expected you to take care of it,” Manny Pierce reminded her. “Not end three generations of Lowell family tradition and cash in.” The senior mechanic frowned. “We’re really disappointed in you, Libby.”
“As well as worried about our jobs,” Swifty Mortimer added.
Libby worked her coat off and slung it over the back of her desk chair. “No one is going to lose their employment over this. That I can promise you.”
Skeptical glances abounded. Clearly disgruntled, everyone filtered out.
The rest of the workday went just as badly.
Near 4:00 p.m., Libby walked over to the warehouse to do the end of November inventory.
She had just climbed into the cab of a deluxe combine harvester to compare the serial number and price with the information they had in their computer system when Holden McCabe walked into the building.
How was it, she wondered, that he knew intuitively just when to show up to save the day or lighten her mood? Despite her decision not to rely on him emotionally in any way, her heart gave a little leap.
Oblivious to the hopelessly dependent nature of her thoughts, Holden lifted one brawny arm in acknowledgment. He strode confidently toward her.
Her heart took another little leap of anticipation as he neared.
Appearing concerned, he climbed into the enclosed cab beside her and shut the door.
His shoulder and hip brushed hers as he settled onto the bench seat. “What’s going on?” he asked her as he shot her another concerned look.
Trying not to notice how much space his tall, muscular frame took up, Libby swallowed. She hadn’t wanted to cry on his shoulder this much since the night he had brought her home from the emergency room.
She drew another breath as her pulse picked up a notch and a guilty flush heated her face. “Pretty much what you’d expect, under the circumstances. All the employees are mad at me. They think I’ll be betraying the Lowells if I sell.”
He studied her empathetically. “Sometimes you have to forget pleasing everyone else and make yourself happy.” He shrugged and briefly squeezed her forearm. “I’m thinking this is one of those times.”
Libby released a tremulous breath and raked a hand through her hair. “You really do understand.” And she needed that. Even though she was convinced she was doing the right thing, this situation left her feeling more vulnerable than she had expected.
With a cajoling smile, and another pat on her arm, Holden predicted, “And everyone else will understand, too, given a little time. In the meantime—” he released her and sat back “—I’ve got some more bad news—if you think you can handle it.”
Aware how her arm was tingling from that brief, comforting touch, Libby turned her attention to the rotary thresher attached to the front of the machine. She took a second to brace herself for the second onslaught of the day. “Go ahead,” she instructed wearily.
He rested a powerful forearm on the hydraulic steering wheel. “The library has been closed indefinitely. Apparently, what Rowdy found beneath the subflooring was asbestos that had been used for electrical insulation and soundproofing.”
Libby winced. “That sounds dangerous.”
He nodded. “It can be a real health hazard if it starts to deteriorate, and this stuff looked pretty old.” Cheering slightly, he added, “The good news is all the AC filters and surfaces in the library building tested clean of any microscopic fibers that could be inhaled, so no one’s been in danger thus far. But it’s going to have to come out.”
She sighed wearily as she waited for him to continue.
He met her level gaze. “And it’s going to be a very expensive proposition. The initial estimate from the hazardous-material experts is a quarter of a million, and the county doesn’t have it in the budget.”
Libby’s heart sank as she contemplated the loss. “So what are they going to do?”
“Try and find the money somewhere, but the earliest that will happen is January.”
She clapped a hand over her heart. “And in the meantime?”
“The county is arranging for Laramie residents to have privileges in neighboring county library systems.”
“But those are thirty-five miles away, minimum!” Libby declared in dismay.
Holden exhaled, looking disappointed, as well. “It’s the best the county can do.”
She turned toward him urgently, her knee bumping his thigh in the process. “There has to be a better solution!” she protested hotly.
The corners of his lips curved upward. “Miss Mim and Miss Rosa are collecting suggestions as we speak.” His glance sifted slowly over Libby’s face, lingering on the flush in the cheeks and her lush bare lips, before returning to her eyes. “In the meantime, I was thinking. It is Saturday … so how about tonight for our first official date?”
HOLDEN WAS SURPRISED but pleased that Libby assented right away. “The distraction might be just what I need….”
He’d half feared she would get cold feet about the whole arrangement and try to beg off, but she hadn’t, so they agreed to meet at her house at seven-thirty.
Leaving her to finish the inventory, Holden went home to the Bar M ranch to take care of his horses, shower and change. Figuring there would be less pressure on them if they had dinner and saw a movie, he printed out the listings for the theater in town and the multiplex in San Angelo, then headed back to Libby’s place.
He stared at the vehicles lining her driveway and clogging the parking lot of the now-closed dealership across the road.
Her home, he soon found out, was just as congested.
Twenty-five or so women were crowded into the spacious living room. Miss Mim and Miss Rosa were holding court.
The topic? The library, of course.
“The problem is,” Rosa was saying as Holden took off his coat and joined the group, “there’s no available building in Laramie where three floors of books could be housed temporarily.”
“I have an idea,” Libby said. “It’s a little unusual, but …”
All eyes turned to her.
“What if we divided the books up into sections, much the way they are now, and looked for host homes in town to function as mini-libraries? We could put the information online and still have a help desk in the LRE showroom. Hours could be limited. Say two hours, three times a week, max, for each farmed-out section of the library. That way, the books would still be available to local residents, and they wouldn’t have to travel to a neighboring county.”
“What an amazing idea!” Miss Mim said.
Holden thought so, too.
The room erupted in applause.
More excited talk ensued.
Holden’s sister, Emily, appeared at his side. “Libby is quite the heroine, isn’t she?”
“Yes,” he murmured, “she is.”
Not that this was a surprise. It didn’t matter what the problem was. Whether it be a personal or civic matter, Libby was always first in line to help. The first to start or lead a crusade. Everyone in Laramie knew that, which was why the library volunteers and personnel had convened here tonight. Because they had known that when presented with a particularly thorny problem, Libby Lowell would know just what to do.
Holden couldn’t help but admire Libby as she confidently held court. She wasn’t just gorgeous as all get-out. She was smart and kind, and could think outside the box.
In fact, he had never met a more fascinating woman in his life. And if she hadn’t started out as his best friend’s girl, he might have pursued her himself.
His sister broke through his reverie. “And if I didn’t know better—” Emily smiled and playfully punched Holden’s arm “—I’d think you had a thing for her.”
“WHAT WERE YOU AND EMILY talking about?” Libby asked, after everyone had left.
She thinks I am falling for you. Which is ridiculous, since at the end of the day I’ll still see you as the woman who was once married to my best friend.
Pretty sure Libby was not ready to hear any of that, Holden shrugged indolently and cut to the chase. “Like everyone else I know, my sister wants me to get out there and start dating again.”
Libby kept her eyes on his a disconcertingly long time, then lifted her chin and regarded him suspiciously. “Did you tell her about us?”
Holden tried not to notice how much trouble she had gone to for their “first date.” She had put on a ruffled Western blouse, formfitting brown cords and lace-up tan boots. Her hair had been swept up into a loose, sexy knot on the back of her head, her lips softly glossed. She smelled of her trademark cinnamon-and-spice perfume. He forced himself to sound as casual as they’d agreed they would be.
“I figured we would actually go out first.” See how it went. “Speaking of which …”
“I know.” The enticing curves of her breasts pushed against the fabric of her blouse as she inhaled. “I’m sorry.” Her tiny reindeer earrings jangled as she tilted her head slightly to one side. “I didn’t mean for that to happen, but when Miss Mim and Rosa called, wanting to brainstorm and bring along a few others, I couldn’t say no.”
Holden’s glance fell to the delicate hollow of Libby’s throat before returning to her eyes. “I understand.”
She raked her teeth over her luscious lower lip. “I didn’t expect it to go on so long.”
Aware he was beginning to get aroused—also not part of their bargain—he glanced at his watch. “It’s only nine-thirty. We could still do something.” Anything to kill the desire building within him.
“Like what?” Libby moved around the room, picking up a few stray glasses and plates. “The late movies have already started.”
She hurried past him, her long, sexy strides adding fuel to the fire already burning deep inside him.
“And most of the restaurants are already closing down. Not that I’m hungry—” Libby chattered on, setting the items in the sink “—since everyone who came over brought some sort of food.”
Holden caught up with her and put the things he had gathered down, too.
Aware she looked increasingly tense and worried—as if afraid to be alone with him—he put his hands on her shoulders. “Relax.”
She tensed even more at his touch. “Sorry.” Swallowing, she forced a nervous smile, stepped back.
This would not do.
Holden shook his head in mute rebuke. Using humor to ease the sudden stress, he winked. “You’re as skittish as a cat who just had her tail caught beneath a rocking chair.”
The comparison worked to quell her nerves. “Funny.” Libby returned his droll look with one of her own.
“Seriously.” Holden stepped back and suggested smoothly, “We could go out and get a beer. Listen to music at the dance hall.”
Libby lifted an elegant brow. “And no doubt run into your mom—because she owns the place?”
He rubbed his hand across the back of his neck. “You’re right,” he admitted. “That would be a little claustrophobic for a first date. Even a very casual one.”
Libby sighed and held up a hand in surrender. “Maybe we should just call it a night,” she said apologetically. “Try again—I don’t know—sometime next week.”
Holden knew a woman about to back out on him when he saw one. He caught up with her in the hall and kept pace. “What’s wrong with tomorrow?”
Libby frowned at the sight of a dirty glass she had missed. She picked it up and held it in front of her like a shield. “I’m going to be at the library to help remove the uncontaminated books that are coming to my home. After that, I’ll be busy setting up temporary stacks in my living room.”
“I can help with that,” Holden volunteered.
She shook her head. “You don’t have to.”
He studied her, knowing they could not leave it like this and expect things to get any better between them. “I want to,” he insisted quietly.
Libby seemed completely at a loss as to what to say or do next. Which in turn made Holden take a step closer, and ask, “Are you trying to get rid of me?” He scanned her head to toe, his eyes narrowed suspiciously. “Because you suddenly seem very nervous.” And he wanted to know why … so it wouldn’t happen again.
“I’m just wired,” she said evasively, setting the lone glass on the foyer console rather than carry it all the way back to the kitchen. She jammed her hands on her hips. “It’s been a long day. A lot has happened.”
“Mmm-hmm.” Holden studied her some more. “Sure it’s not something else?” he prodded.
She widened her pretty eyes, all innocence. “Like what?” she asked with Texas belle sweetness.
And if there was one thing Libby was not, it was a coquette.
Holden stepped even closer. “Like the kiss … that almost happened. That is still on both our minds every time we are alone.”
Color swept into Libby’s cheeks. “So what if it is?” she taunted defiantly. “I’m sure we’ll get rid of the notion sooner rather than later.”
Holden grinned, the man in him rising to the womanly challenge in her. “I prefer sooner,” he murmured.
Libby scoffed and tossed her head. “Well, so would I! But … there’s no way to do that.”
“Sure there is,” Holden told her confidently. “I’ll show you.”
Chapter Four
Holden threaded his fingers through her hair, then bent and kissed first her temple and then her cheek.
“Trust me,” he whispered, as his mouth drifted slowly, inevitably toward hers. “This is the only solution … if we’re ever to have any peace….”
Much as she was loath to admit it, Libby knew he was right. Giving in to the curiosity that had been plaguing her for years now, she went up on tiptoe. Holden groaned, pulling her flush against him. Her heart racing, Libby parted her lips to the investigating pressure of his. He responded by kissing her even more deeply. Her entire body going soft with pleasure at the unhurried coaxing of his lips and the seductive stroking of his tongue, she wrapped her arms around his neck and tilted her hips to his.
For the first time in her life, she began to see what she’d been missing. This was the kind of kiss she had always dreamed about and never received. Evocative. Inundating. Tender. The kind that made her feel all woman to his man. The kind that made her feel that being close to someone again might not be such a crazy idea, after all….
HOLDEN HADN’T COME HERE tonight intending to kiss Libby. In fact, his plan had been to delay the physical indefinitely.
But that had been before he’d seen the veil come over her eyes yet again, in a way that made him wonder why intimacy of any kind with him was such a threat to her.
And suddenly he knew.
He broke off the kiss, dropped his arms to his sides and stepped back. “All this time I thought the reason you were so ill at ease with me was because we almost kissed.” He paused, looking deep into her eyes. “But that isn’t it at all. Is it?”
OF ALL THE THINGS she did not want to discuss, her foolish behavior had to be at the top of the list. “I was an idiot that night, long before I hurled myself at you.” One giant mess of hormones and pent-up emotion.
He gave her an understanding glance. “You thought you were pregnant.”
Misery engulfed her. “And I wasn’t.”
Holden caught her hand when she would have turned away. “But you didn’t know that when you called me and asked me to drive you to the hospital.” He squeezed her palm compassionately. “You thought you were losing your baby.”
Libby leaned into his touch despite herself. “Had I been with child, that baby would have been three months along. Instead, all that was happening inside me was a lot of cramping and the beginning of the worst menstrual period ever! I’ve never felt so ridiculous or been so humiliated in my entire life.”
Holden studied her. “And Paige and I witnessed it.”
Libby struggled to get a grip. “The difference being that Paige is a physician and a woman.” Her best friend had been able to view the situation with the clinical detachment that Libby had needed. Holden had reacted much more emotionally. Which had made her feel even worse about dragging him into the situation, and dumping all her problems on him.
“I never thought less of you.” He wrapped his arms around her shoulders and pulled her close. “My heart went out to you that night,” he murmured against the top of her head. “You’d just lost Percy a couple of months before, and when you thought you were having his baby, you had such joy.” His warm breath touched her ear.
In an effort to shield her eyes from his probing gaze, she let her head rest against his chest. “And guilt, and a million other things,” she whispered as a flood of tears pressed hotly behind her eyes.
He brought her closer yet, one hand moving down her back in long, soothing strokes. “Why guilt?”
Maybe it was time she began to unburden herself. And who better to tell than Holden, who had his own regrets?
Fighting the overwhelming sadness she felt whenever she thought of all that preceded and followed Percy’s tragic death, she looked him in the eye and took another halting breath. Finally, she asked what she had never dared voice before. “You don’t know the real reason Percy insisted on taking that trip to South America, do you?”
“He said it was to cheer me up after my divorce was final,” Holden replied in a low, gravelly voice.
Libby dabbed at the moisture beneath her eyes. “Well, that was part of it,” she said finally, drawing back.
He brought her back into the curve of his strong arms. His touch was more brotherly than anything else, despite their earlier flirtation with passion. “And the other …?” he murmured.