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LORRAINE WILSON
A division of HarperCollinsPublishers
www.harpercollins.co.uk
HarperImpulse an imprint of
HarperCollinsPublishers
1 London Bridge Street
London SE1 9GF
www.harpercollins.co.uk
First published in Great Britain by HarperImpulse 2015
Copyright © Lorraine Wilson 2015
Cover images © Shutterstock.com
Cover layout design © HarperCollinsPublishers Ltd 2015
Cover design by Zoe Jackson
Lorraine Wilson asserts the moral right
to be identified as the author of this work.
A catalogue record for this book is
available from the British Library
This novel is entirely a work of fiction.
The names, characters and incidents portrayed in it are
the work of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to
actual persons, living or dead, events or localities is
entirely coincidental.
All rights reserved under International
and Pan-American Copyright Conventions.
By payment of the required fees, you have been granted
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and read the text of this e-book on screen.
No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted,
downloaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or
stored in or introduced into any information storage and
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whether electronic or mechanical, now known or
hereinafter invented, without the express
written permission of HarperCollins.
Digital eFirst: Automatically produced by Atomik ePublisher from Easypress.
Ebook Edition © March 2015 ISBN: 9780007558353
Version 2015-03-06
In memory of Celia Cady, 'mother' and lifeline to many.
Also special thanks to both the lovely team at Harper Impulse and to Catherine and Dawn for everything.
Contents
Cover
Title Page
Copyright
Dedication
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Also by Lorraine Wilson…
Lorraine Wilson
About HarperImpulse
About the Publisher
Chapter 1
Okay, Tash got it. There were some very important people coming to stay at Chalet Repos.
Blah-de-blah.
Did they really need yet another 'briefing' from Holly? And since when had she taken to scheduling briefings into the day anyway? You cleaned, you cooked and you were always polite to the guests. Even when they really, really hacked you off and you were hung-over. There wasn't much more to it, surely?
Tash could do this job in her sleep. Sometimes it felt like she almost did.
She nestled back into the comfy brown leather sofa and yawned. It'd been a late one last night and even once she'd got to bed she hadn't slept much. But then she caught Holly's gimlet eye and shrugged sheepishly in reply.
"So, you all get how important this is, right?" Holly asked, perched on the edge of an armchair covered with a faux fur throw, one hand resting lightly on her barely visible bump.
Everything's changing around here. Holly's pregnant, Sophie's moved out and engaged. And now we're having 'briefings.' Not to mention the rumours about the other changes that might be coming.
A wave of panic swelled in her chest, threatening to submerge her. Why couldn't things stay the same?
Tash's gaze fell on Rebecca, Sophie's replacement. Rebecca's high blonde ponytail bobbed up and down as she nodded earnestly at Holly, bright lipsticked smile in place. Amelia and Lucy also appeared bright-eyed, if not quite so bushy-tailed. Tash glanced back at Rebecca's hair. You didn't get hair that sleek and bouncy using supermarket’s own-brand shampoo and dying it yourself over the bathroom sink.
Tash examined one of her own split ends with a sigh. She didn't give a flying snow fairy what anyone thought about the home-dyed pink stripes on her mousy hair but it might be nice to get her hair done properly one day. If she could ever afford it.
"Tash?" Holly asked, eyebrows raised, a mixture of impatience and concern in her eyes.
"Um, no, not so much…" Tash admitted. "Aren't all our clients important? And I think we're pretty nice to them already. Just how extra nice do you want us to be exactly?"
She smirked and Amelia and Lucy sniggered. Only Rebecca remained straight-faced, hands folded primly on her lap.
Maybe the rich pay to have their sense of humour surgically removed too?
Holly rolled her eyes. "Not that nice obviously. Weren't you listening to anything Tash?"
Maybe she should plead this morning's hangover in her defence? On balance, probably not. Now Holly was pregnant and not drinking, her sympathy quota for hangover symptoms had been drastically reduced.
"I'm sorry, I got a bit distracted." Tash met Holly's stare. "I'm listening now."
They both knew she'd been tuning out a lot lately. Not to mention getting drunk as often as she could afford to. Mind you that was kind of tuning out on a bigger scale if you thought about it, something she tried very hard not to do. It wasn't illegal and was a hell of a lot safer than some of her other coping mechanisms.
Anyway this job was a doddle.
Until Holly had decided to rewrite the job description, that was.
"Hmm, I'll be testing you at the end." Holly raised her eyebrows a fraction.
Is she going to ask me to stay behind at the end? Put me in detention?
Tash suppressed a sigh; that thought wasn't fair. She owed so much to Scott and Holly. They'd been good to her. More than good, they were almost like family. As one of the longest standing chalet girls at Chalet Repos and the only one who got to stay all year round, Tash already got a lot of slack.
She'd never actually told Holly all the gory details about her past and growing up in care but Holly seemed to know she'd had a lot of serious crap to deal with. In her bleaker moments, Tash glimpsed an empathy in Holly's expression, a recognition and understanding of pain. Sometimes the weight of all the unspoken memories threatened to cave in on Tash but still she couldn't, wouldn't verbalise them. Where on earth would she start?
And what would be the point?
But the knowing light in Holly's eyes when they talked was a comfort. Maybe it was an understanding that came from having her own crappy family history to deal with. Holly and Scott knew Tash had nowhere else to go, no family to go home to and they'd kept her on to help with the cycling and hiking tours in the summer, taking care of her work permit. Not that they'd really seemed to need the help initially, but apparently that was about to change.
Everything was.
She stared across at Holly's small bump. It was ridiculous really, almost like she was feeling the insecurities of a toddler jealous of a new sibling but…well it was kind of how she felt. A part of how she felt at least.
Though she'd sooner die than admit it.
Amelia said she’d overheard them talking about expanding and discussing moving out of Chalet Repos when the baby was born so their room could be used as another guest room and they could have more space elsewhere. More privacy.
Where does that leave me?
"I'll give you the condensed version." Holly absent-mindedly stroked her bump, patting the fabric of her lime green hoodie. The colour contrasted well with her auburn hair. "These clients will have exclusive access to Chalet Repos for the whole of March. Although they may fly back to London a couple of times during that period and they'll also need shuttling to and from Geneva for meetings. They want to know everything about how we operate, the experience days we offer, what we feed our guests…everything. If they like what they see…well, this could be big for us. Really huge."
Holly's imploring gaze rested on Tash.
Because if anyone stuffs it up for them it's going to be me? Thanks Holly.
Tash stared down at the tan and white cow skin rug at her feet. Okay, so there'd been a few incidents the first season she'd been with Scott and Holly. When balding men with large beer guts and even larger egos made lewd remarks or tried to grope her bum like she was part of the services Chalet Repos offered, well it flicked a switch in her and she lost it. But still, she'd got a lot better about controlling her temper and it was hurtful they thought she'd do anything to screw this up for them.
"Don't worry, I'm sure you can trust us all not to mess up," Tash replied, swallowing down the hurt and meeting Holly's gaze again.
"Great." Holly smiled but a small crease in her forehead betrayed her persistent concern. "So if anyone in the group, you know, tries it on, just politely decline and come and tell me. Then I'll get Scott to have a firm but discreet word. But really, I can't imagine we'll have any of those sorts of problems. We're talking about a group of business professionals after all, not a stag do."
Tash snorted, looking sideways at Amelia. "I didn't hear anyone complaining about the last stag do group we had staying here!"
Amelia flushed pink but smiled. "Okay, you may have a point. I'd say Amy seems pretty happy with Josh. Did you hear about that Rebecca?"
"The chalet girl who ran off with the bridegroom staying here at Chalet Repos?" Rebecca asked. "Yes, Tash told me. And she mentioned that your boyfriend Matt was part of the same group."
"Well, Josh was Amy's ex," Amelia said. "And as for Matt and I, well…I wasn't going to say anything until we'd chosen the ring but…we're getting married. This is going to be my last season as a seasonnaire."
Amelia's smile became a smug 'I've snagged my man' grin.
Oh fantastic. Another one.
Tash ignored the savage twist in her gut and forced a smile to her lips. "That's great Amelia, congratulations."
Holly, Lucy and Rebecca dutifully exclaimed, squealed and crowded round to hug Amelia. Tash tried to get her emotions under control, focusing on a snagged nail on her little finger.
Everyone else is moving on…
"Well Matt was fantastic when mum was sick last year." Amelia smiled contentedly. "And he persuaded me I couldn't be a seasonnaire forever. I mean, it's been fun but it's time to grow up, you know?"
"Right," Rebecca said, nodding seriously, as though Amelia were dispensing pearls of wisdom instead of a baseless platitude.
Tash stared out through the plate glass window. The falling snow swirled, buffeted by strong gusts of wind. She couldn't shake a sense of unease so visceral it twisted again at her gut, sending anxiety coursing through her veins.
Why does everything have to change? Everything was fine as it was.
Holly disentangled herself from the others and made her way over to Tash. She sank down on the sofa next to her.
"Actually Tash, there's something else I needed to tell you." Holly laid a hand on Tash's arm, her diamond engagement ring and platinum wedding band prominent on her wedding finger. "I thought you and Rebecca could accompany the group on a couple of their experience days and generally show them around Verbier? You know, take them to places like the W. Make sure they have a really good time. Impress the pants off them."
Tash raised an eyebrow. Holly giggled and Tash couldn't help laughing too, even though she really didn't feel like it.
Holly's eyes lost their anxious expression, her face transformed by a relaxed smile. "Bad choice of words. I'd do it myself but I get so tired in the evenings at the moment and some days the so-called morning sickness lasts all day. I don't think throwing up on my shoes and then going to bed at nine o'clock would impress them much. You don't mind, do you?"
Tash hesitated. If only Holly had picked Amelia or Lucy instead of Rebecca to go along with her. But this was how Holly worked. Subtle, thoughtful and always working to keep the peace.
Holly's picked Rebecca because she hopes it will mean the two of us will finally start to get along.
She met Holly's eyes and was surprised to see a genuine concern for Tash’s approval.
Doesn't she know by now I'd do pretty much anything for her?
After all Tash could count on one hand the number of people she truly trusted, and have fingers left over.
Scary thought that the two people I care most about in the world are moving on without me.
"Of course I don't mind, it'll be fun." Tash smiled. "Stop worrying, it'll all work out fine and I'll help out any way I can."
It was time to step up.
It scared her, becoming needed, relied upon. Needing…It was bloody terrifying.
Maybe she should've moved on years ago, before she'd had time to grow close to anyone. After all she'd been at Chalet Repos longer than she'd stayed in any one place before. The longest settled spell in her entire life in fact.
Stop it Tash, no looking back remember? Thinking about anything too much is dangerous.
Holly disappeared down the corridor to the office, to the desk that stood back to back with Scott's. What must it be like to find someone you loved so much you could actually live and work with them and not want to kill them?
Anxiety made Tash jittery and she tugged again at her snagged nail, breaking it off far too low but not caring that it hurt. The blurring of the line between emotional and physical pain was dangerous. Not that this really counted but she could imagine what the official line would be. That it was the thin edge of a very dangerous wedge.
She was done with that, with the old Tash.
But boy was it tempting sometimes.
I need caffeine. Caffeine and some ibuprofen.
Maybe it wasn't a good idea when she was anxious but she needed…something and really, how harmful could one cup of coffee be?
"So girls, what do we think?" Lucy's bird like eyes gleamed. She'd tucked her feet beneath her on the armchair so she looked tinier than ever, dwarfed by an oversized rusty-red cable knit jumper pulled down to her knees over her leggings.
"What do we think about what?" Tash replied, resting her head back against the sofa and crossing her arms over her chest. "Are we talking about the engagement epidemic or the fresh new talent about to hit Chalet Repos? Sorry to disappoint you hun but a group of suits are not going to satisfy your heart's wicked desires."
"Who says they're wicked?" Lucy quipped. "Don't judge us all by your own standards. Some of us are actually looking for a meaningful relationship with a grown up."
Ouch.
Tash laughed to conceal the sting, fingers curling into her palms beneath her elbows, nails pressing hard against her skin. Lucy was only joking, but…
"I think it sounds really exciting. Do we know anything about them? Maybe it'll be someone famous if they're so important." Rebecca sighed, her pale blue eyes becoming dreamy. She crossed her legs demurely, back still ramrod straight like she'd been taught to sit like that at finishing school or Cheltenham Ladies College or whatever Sloanesville academy she'd sprung from.
Tash's jaw clenched instinctively, like it did pretty much every time Rebecca spoke.
God I miss Sophie.
"It won't be anyone famous." Tash rolled her eyes. "How many famous investors do you know? It'll be another group of poncy businessmen in fancy Saville Row suits and handmade shoes they can't get wet in the snow. They'll expect us to jump every time they click their fingers. If they can prise their fingers away from their BlackBerries that is."
"Now, that's where you're wrong," Amelia said, a slow smug smile creeping across her face. "The name the chalet is booked under is Nathaniel Campbell. I checked the bookings spreadsheet and then I googled him."
She paused, relishing the fact she'd got everyone's attention.
"Go on." Lucy nudged Amelia with her elbow. "Don't leave us hanging. You have been watching way too many elimination shows. It doesn't create tension, it's just annoying.”
"It turns out Nathaniel Campbell is on that programme In the Lion's Den. You know, the one where anyone under twenty-five with a business plan can go to beg for grants or internships. He's forty-eighth on the Sunday Times Rich List too; his specialty is buying companies with potential, turning them around, then selling them on again." Amelia grinned, eyes gleaming.
"You already have a fiancé, remember." Tash said quickly.
Sophie must've rubbed off on me. Who would've guessed I'd be the one taking the moral high ground?
But with Sophie gone someone had to do it. The gap Sophie had left when she moved in with Luc felt immense. And Rebecca certainly wasn't the girl to replace her. There was nothing immediately obvious to explain why, but it'd been apparent within days that Tash and Rebecca weren't going to be the best of friends. Well nothing obvious except for the huge gulf between their backgrounds. Tash had tried.
Sort of.
"I've seen The Lion's Den," Rebecca beamed like she'd just won the lottery. "I love that programme. Nathaniel Campbell is seriously hot. He's the sexiest Lion on the show."
"I haven't seen it. Have you Tash?" Lucy asked.
"No." Tash shrugged and got off the sofa.
But then I haven't been back to England since I was eighteen.
"How do you know it's the Nathaniel Campbell?" Tash stopped at the doorway and turned back towards Amelia.
"How many Nathaniel Campbells do you think there are with the kind of money you need to invest in Verbier property?" Amelia asked. "Anyway I found his most recent interview online and when asked about new projects he said he was taking some time out in the Swiss Alps to write a companion book for the series. That would explain why he's booked Chalet Repos for the whole month."
"Hmm. I need a caffeine fix.” Tash shrugged. “Coffee anyone?”
It was irrational to dislike a man she’d never met but telling herself so didn’t stop the stirrings of resentment.
Nathaniel Campbell was bringing change to Chalet Repos and that was a good enough reason for Tash.
"I've seen him, I've seen him," Rebecca squeaked, practically bouncing up and down with excitement. Gone were her casual clothes, replaced by smart black wool trousers and a gorgeous aquamarine cashmere sweater. She even wore her tiny pearl earrings and a Tiffany pendant.
Her clothes whispered wealth and style.
"Great," Tash replied without enthusiasm as she pulled a clean navy hoodie on over her vest top, her sole concession to dressing up for the guests. She might not have been so irritated if Rebecca hadn't spent most of the previous evening talking about what she should wear and what Nathaniel Campbell would be like in real life.
Tash's mix of charity shop and cheap supermarket clothes felt like rags compared to the designer cashmere clothes Rebecca wore.
I feel cheap. In pretty much every sense of the word.
She wondered for the umpteenth time if she could last the whole season without cracking and pushing Rebecca down a black ski run.
Minus the skis.
It wasn't as if Rebecca even had to work, her father was a judge, they were minted. She even had a pony back home in Surrey for frick's sake.
Something tightened in her chest at the thought of it. A proper home. A safety net. Rebecca had it with bells on and Tash…didn't. Not that she expected life to be fair; she'd given up that hope long ago.
The familiar tension crept into Tash's jaw as she applied her eye shadow. Rebecca was doing the 'chalet girl thing' for fun because 'Daddy says I need to get a job. It's like, character forming, you know.'
Tash stared at Rebecca now in much the same way as she'd stared at her when she'd explained why she was at Chalet Repos, as though Rebecca had flown in from another planet, another universe even. It often felt like they spoke a different language.
"Do you really think some business mogul come TV star is going to take up with a poxy chalet girl?" Tash shook her head.
"Maybe." Rebecca grinned.
Tash tutted. "You have been watching too many romantic comedies."
There was a certain childishness to Rebecca's expression, a naïvety that stirred an unexpected protectiveness in Tash. She felt twenty years older than her, not the mere two years older she actually was. Rebecca was twenty-one but she seemed far younger than Tash had been at her age.
From what Tash had gleaned, Rebecca had seen practically nothing of the world outside her Surrey pony club idyll, private school and holiday villas in Tuscany.
She didn't seem to have a clue just how cruel human beings could be to each other.
Lucky her. Yet the lack of knowledge made her so vulnerable.
How can I hate Rebecca one minute and want to protect her the next?
Tash sighed. This was what dormitory living could do to you. Just the way someone else was breathing or humming along to their iPods could be enough to wind you up after two months of forced proximity.
Mountain Cabin Fever, Holly called it.
Rebecca rummaged in her make up bag for lipstick and applied it. When she smiled at Tash there was a pink smear on her front teeth.
"Wait." Tash touched Rebecca's arm, the cashmere super-soft beneath her fingertips. "You've got lipstick on your teeth."
It's not Rebecca's fault she isn't Sophie.
"Oh, have I? Thanks." Rebecca pulled out her compact mirror and a face wipe to remove the smear.
"Where are Amelia and Lucy?" Tash asked, making her way to the door.
"Already out there." Rebecca pushed her make-up bag beneath her bunk. "Wait for me."
Tash rolled her eyes as she waited, but not so as Rebecca could see. Tash wasn't a total bitch. Being friends with Sophie and Holly seemed to have sandpapered away some of her sharper edges.
But prickles aren't all bad. They keep you safe; just ask a hedgehog.
Had staying in one place for so long turned her soft?
In Chalet Repos' living area Amelia and Lucy handed flutes of champagne to men wearing dark suits and expensive leather shoes. Champagne at eleven in the morning? These guests must be considered important. But suits in a ski resort? Looked like she'd been right. There were four in the group, all with their backs to her. On closer inspection one of them turned out to be a woman in an androgynous trouser suit and a very short pixie haircut.
Tash lingered by the doorway, feeling out of place. Rebecca edged forward, fixed smile in place, trying to make her way to the front of the group. Tash cringed for her.
Could she be more obvious?
Tash decided to skulk at the back of the room, straightening a few faux-fur cushions on the sofas and hoping to be left alone if she looked busy. Delaying the inevitable and much dreaded small talk she'd doubtless have to engage in.