To Love Again

“Morning.” He extended a basket of muffins. “Fresh from the bakery.”

Muffins? From Paul Russell, who’d barely acknowledged her presence in his office for the past week? “Oh… How nice,” she said. “Well, then, come in.”

He entered, his steps tentative.

“I’ll get some coffee.” She led him to the kitchen, then prepared the coffee and put the muffins on a plate. “You’re out and about early,” she said. It was the closest her manners would allow her to come to asking why he was here.

“I realized I hadn’t properly welcomed you and the kids,” he said.

That was one way to put it, she thought. He had all but put the brakes on the welcoming committee and steered it out of town. But now, it seemed, Paul Russell might be changing his tune.

BONNIE K. WINN

is a hopeless romantic who’s written incessantly since the third grade. So it seemed only natural that she turned to romance writing. A seasoned author of historical and contemporary romance, Bonnie has won numerous awards for her bestselling books. Affaire de Coeur chose her as one of the Top Ten Romance Writers in America.

Bonnie loves writing contemporary romance because she can set her stories in the modern cities close to her heart and explore the endlessly fascinating strengths of today’s woman.

Living in the foothills of the Rockies gives her plenty of inspiration and a touch of whimsy, as well. She shares her life with her husband, son and a spunky Westie terrier who lends his characteristics to many pets in her stories. Bonnie’s keeping mum about anyone else’s characteristics she may have borrowed.

To Love Again

Bonnie K. Winn

And Ruth said, Entreat me not to leave thee,

or to return from following after thee:

for whither thou goest, I will go; and where thou

lodgest, I will lodge: thy people shall be

my people, and thy God my God.

—Ruth 1:16

To Karen Elizabeth Rigley, sister and friend.

For all you do. For all you are.

Contents

Prologue

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Eighteen

Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Twenty

Epilogue

Letter to Reader

Questions for Discussion

Prologue

Houston, Texas

Laura Manning dreaded what was coming. The reading of her husband’s will. But, as she’d been doing for the past fourteen years, she carried out her prescribed role. She greeted Jerry’s family as they arrived, settling them into the leather chairs and couch in her late husband’s study, making certain they were at ease, refilling coffee cups. Jerry only had a few cousins, and his grandparents had long since passed away. He hadn’t been close to any of his relatives, but his cousins had been named in his will.

Hushed voices from the hall signaled more arrivals.

“Hello, Edward, Meredith.” Laura hugged her father-in-law, and accepted the brush of her mother-in-law’s cheek that passed as a lukewarm greeting.

“Sorry we’re late,” Edward began.

“We can’t be expected to run on a timetable.” Meredith gripped a lace handkerchief, already crumpled. “I’ve just lost my only child!”

Edward’s eyes met Laura’s, then he glanced away.

Meredith looked around the spacious, circular entry. “Where are the children?”

“At the neighbor’s.” Laura straightened a calla lilly on the round table that anchored the room. “They’re not old enough for this.”

“Kirsten’s thirteen,” Meredith objected.

Laura winced. She really didn’t want to further upset her mother-in-law. “I don’t think that’s old enough. Everyone else is in the study if you want to join them.”

Meredith dabbed at her eyes. “They can hardly begin without us.” She tottered in as though about to collapse, taking the chair closest to the desk while Edward sat in one of the two seats together Laura had reserved for them.

She poured coffee for them both.

Her friend, Donna, offered her a steadying arm when she stumbled and it looked as if she might spill the pot. Grateful for her presence, her only ally in the room, Laura squeezed her hand.

The doorbell rang. She was only expecting one other person, Jerry’s business partner, Paul Russell. Although she didn’t know him well, she hoped he’d be another friendly face in the room.

Opening the door, she was struck again by the tall, engaging man’s appearance. Thick dark hair, on the long side. Equally dark eyes and a strong jaw.

“It’s good to see you,” she greeted him.

Something she couldn’t decipher flickered in his somber expression, then disappeared. “You, too.”

Because of the occasion, she wasn’t put off by his reticence. “Come in to Jerry’s study—everyone’s gathered there. Can I get you some coffee?”

He followed, his footfalls crisp against the marble floor. “No, thank you.”

Jerry’s lawyer, Daryl McGrath, a man Laura had met only once before, sat at her late husband’s desk. A stream of sunshine lit the room, edging past the heavy linen drapes she had pushed open that morning.

After she and Paul took the last chairs, McGrath began to read aloud from the long, ponderous document. Jerry couldn’t have made his will short and simple. He had to have his final moment. It wasn’t a kind thought. But Jerry had stolen most of her kind thoughts over the years. It was hard to believe she had once loved him more than life. Handsome, charming, he had overwhelmed her with attention and affection. And she had been so desperate to be loved, to escape her scarred home life. But she hadn’t really known him. And the abuse he had dished out later, once they were married, had all but killed her.

Fingering the very proper pearls at her neck, Laura wanted to shrink into the straight-backed chair, out of sight of Jerry’s family. Instead, she crossed her legs, straightening her slim-skirted black dress over her sheer, dark hose. She hoped that her clothes, along with her dark hair, might help her blend into the dark wood.

She listened to the small bequests to Jerry’s favorite male cousins, a gold watch, an expensive money clip. When McGrath read the next bequest, Laura frowned. Jerry had given several pieces of furniture, including the baby grand piano, to his parents.

If it hadn’t been for the children’s piano lessons, she wouldn’t have cared. Material things had never been high on her list of priorities. She would have been happy in a tiny house with the barest necessities if Jerry had been the kind, considerate man she had once believed him to be.

Holding her hands in her lap, Laura fingered her wedding band.

“Now we come to the major bequests,” McGrath announced. “The primary residence, business interests, the cash and insurance.” He rustled several papers. “Jerry thought out his final wishes very carefully. He wanted to provide for his family in all aspects.”

Premonition washed over her, and Laura straightened in her chair.

“To that end,” McGrath continued, “he appointed Paul Russell as his executor and trustee.”

Sitting perfectly still, she could barely breathe.

“Jerry left his entire estate, in trust, to be divided equally, between his children, Kirsten Elaine Manning and Gregory Gerard Manning…. I’m afraid there’s no provision for you, Mrs. Manning.”

No provision. Despite her shock, Laura knew what that meant. It was fancy legal talk for what her shaking insides were trying to absorb. Jerry still had a choke hold on her and he wasn’t going to let go.

Chapter One

“I’m terribly sorry, Mrs. Manning, but I’m afraid there’s little you can do, other than bring an action against the trust.” Tom Baldwin, the lawyer Laura had contacted, looked at her kindly, his sympathetic tone releasing the tears that lurked close to the surface.

“Sue my own children?” Laura reached for a tissue. “That’s not an option.”

“Perhaps the executor will be open to your plans.”

Laura grasped her purse, needing to cling to something, anything. The world had turned on end since the reading of the will and she wasn’t sure what was real anymore. Most of their acquaintances assumed Jerry’s death would have affected her this way. But they didn’t know him like she did. To them he was the engaging charmer, the great, outgoing guy who’d been a football star in high school and college. And she’d been the shy loner he’d chosen to marry. Few had understood the match, but plenty of girls had envied her. Because Jerry was “the man.”

Jerry’s only stroke of bad luck was colon cancer, undetected until it was too late. But he had enough time to dictate the terms of his will. Six weeks from diagnosis to death.

She had wondered if the diagnosis would change him, but not even a death sentence could reverse whatever propelled his meanness. For her, his death couldn’t negate fourteen years of emotional abuse, of being worn down, of always being afraid that his temper would blow. And he’d seen to it that she had to ask Paul, a virtual stranger, permission for nearly everything.

“Mrs. Manning?” Baldwin’s quiet voice prodded her.

“I’m sorry.” She wiped her eyes. “I have no idea how the executor will feel.”

Baldwin frowned. “Really? Wasn’t he your husband’s partner?”

“Yes. But I only met him a few times.”

“How extraordinary.”

“Not if you had known Jerry. He didn’t include me in anything related to the business. All I really know about Paul is that he was Jerry’s college friend and that he lives in a small town in the hill country.”

And two days earlier, as soon as the will had been read, Paul had left, telling her to talk to Jerry’s lawyer about her concerns. He’d mentioned something about a sick sister and apologized to the Mannings for his abrupt departure.

“You and Jerry didn’t go to college together?”

“No, I’m four years younger. I met him when I was a high school senior.” She’d been too young and gullible, anxious to get away from her equally abusive parents. Trapped in the cycle of demoralizing emotional abuse. Why her? “Anyway, Jerry and Paul go way back.”

“But you had no idea that Jerry had given him such extensive control?”

“No.” She stared at the framed law degrees on the wall, not reading them. “He told me he’d had a new will drawn up because of the complexities of the business.”

Baldwin peered at the thick sheaf of papers. “He’s left Russell in charge of everything from determining the amount of your allowance to where your children can attend school.”

She leaned forward, her knees pressing the desk. “Can I fight that?”

“Yes. But I warn you, it will be expensive.”

And where would she get the money?

“Surely half the house is mine because of community property?”

Baldwin nodded. “Yes. But unless you can buy out your children’s half, you can’t sell it. Any of the assets you wish to claim, remember, will necessitate litigation. And again, that will be expensive.”

Her throat closed. For fourteen years Jerry had bullied her, had killed almost everything that she was. And he was still doing it from the grave.

Tom Baldwin wasn’t an unfeeling man. “Talk to Paul Russell,” he urged. “Surely he’ll see that this document was drawn up in haste, by a man who wasn’t seeing clearly. Death makes people do crazy things.”

Not in this case. This move was one hundred percent pure Jerry.

Rosewood, Texas

Paul jogged the remaining three blocks of his run, slowing as he came to Main Street. He turned at Borbey House, inhaling the smell of pies baking in Annie Warren’s kitchen. He groaned. The Sorenson bakery was in the next block. They were probably baking cinnamon buns. It was what he deserved for putting his office right smack in the middle of them both.

His cell phone rang. Since it was still early, he considered ignoring it as he decided between pie and pastry, but by habit he flipped open the phone, slowing to a walk.

“Russell.”

It took him a few moments to realize who was calling and why. As he did, his mood soured. “Laura, slow down. It’s clear to me from Jerry’s will that he didn’t act in haste, that he knew exactly what he wanted.”

Her voice was plaintive. “What about what I want for my children?”

“I don’t mean any disrespect, but my friend chose me to be his executor and I have to act on his behalf.” My friend who’s now gone. Leaving a gaping hole in both the business and what had been an eighteen-year friendship. Jerry had been like an older brother, first taking him under his wing at the University of Texas.

Jerry hadn’t treated him like the small town hick some others had, instead drawing him into his group of friends. Grateful, Paul had been eager to go into partnership with him after graduation. It seemed hard to believe he had been such a vital, strong man only a short time ago.

“What about the company?” she was asking.

He stopped walking, bending at the waist to stretch. “What about it?”

“Jerry was your partner. I’m prepared to take his place.”

“Excuse me?” Paul was glad she couldn’t see his face.

“I said I’m prepared to take his place.”

“You want to work in the firm?” He wiped the sweat from his neck.

“Yes.”

Paul stretched his right leg. “I don’t remember Jerry ever talking about you helping with the deals.”

“Well…I didn’t exactly. That doesn’t mean I can’t learn.”

“And who’s supposed to teach you?”

“You. I know I don’t have my agent’s license yet, but I can take classes toward that. It’s the investment part of the business I need to learn and there’s not a school for that.”

“You want me to teach you?” He switched legs, stretching the left. “That’s not a good idea.”

“But—”

“I’m sure you mean well, but it would be more helpful to all concerned if you concentrate on raising your kids.” He started walking, anxious to end the call. Jerry hadn’t said anything, but Paul suspected his friend must have had reason to worry about Laura to have left him as executor instead of his wife. He had promised Jerry he would watch out for the children. Jerry hadn’t asked the same for Laura.

“That’s not what I want.”

“And Jerry didn’t want to die young, but we don’t all get what we want.” He exhaled, trying not to be harsh with her. “Sorry to rush, but I’m on my way to the office. Bye.” Not waiting for a reply, he clicked off. His appetite ruined, he jogged the rest of the way to his office, waving to Ethan Warren who was climbing into his car, no doubt on his way to the school.

The phone was ringing as Paul entered. Turning on the lights, he crossed to the desk that faced the entrance. Breathless, he grabbed the phone. “Distinctive Properties.”

“I wasn’t finished.”

It was her.

“Paul, like it or not, we’re stuck with each other because of Jerry’s will. I want to work in the company. It was half Jerry’s, so why shouldn’t I?”

Paul glanced around his small office, imagining sharing any part of it. Since he contracted out the majority of his work, he’d never needed a large space for employees. And he’d always been partial to the Victorian building. He kept the furnishings spare—one extra desk, two chairs, a few lamps. He considered it more important for the office to fit his work instead of making it a showplace. “Your allowance is reasonable. You don’t need to work. A lot of women would be happy not to leave their kids to go to a job.”

“I want…I…” Her voice trailed off.

Listening, he heard muffled sounds. “Mrs. Manning? Laura? Are you there?”

It took a moment. “Yes.”

“You don’t even know what you’re asking to get into. This is a tough industry. Flipping property is even worse than selling homes—you know, traditional real estate. Buying investment houses, then renovating on a tight schedule and reselling them to make a quick profit is like chasing sharks. It only sounds like fun.” She didn’t laugh. That didn’t surprise him. He had never heard her laugh, she had looked unhappy every time he’d ever seen her. “It’s stressful and risky, you have to know what you’re doing all the time. If you mess up, you not only lose your own shirt, but your investors’, as well. It’s not the place for the weakhearted. I know you’ve had a lot to take in lately.” He eased into his well-used wooden chair and put his feet up on the scarred desk. “Maybe I was too abrupt with you earlier. But, this isn’t something you want to do. Trust me. You’re going to have your hands full with the kids, keeping up with your house.”

“You don’t understand—”

“What’s to understand? Jerry just died. You’re confused.”

“I’m not confused.”

Paul rubbed his eyes. “Laura, maybe you can talk to a therapist or—”

“I don’t need a therapist.”

His other line rang. “I’m sorry but I have to take another call.”

He had always understood the initial attraction Jerry must have felt for her. Tall, slim, glossy dark hair, haunting green eyes. But she always acted downtrodden. He likened her to a whipped dog. And he never could figure out why. Jerry was a great guy and treated her like a queen. But then some women, like his ex-fiancée, only thought about money. Maybe Jerry’s beautiful home wasn’t as big as she wanted. Maybe she wanted one in the exclusive River Oaks area of town where the millionaires lived.

And personality wasn’t the only thing she lacked. Her husband had just died and she hadn’t expressed a shred of grief.

Laura stumbled outside, needing the open air. Even the muggy air the recent rain had rendered. When Paul Russell had pushed, she hadn’t been able to summon the courage to push back, to find the words to explain how much she needed her freedom. She couldn’t bear to be under Jerry’s thumb another moment.

How was she going to convince him to let her learn the trade? Clearly not over the phone. She would have to talk to him in person, argue her case.

“Mom?” Kirsten sounded annoyed as she came outside to join her on the deck.

“I’m here.”

“It’s like a zillion degrees out here and the humidity’s killing my hair,” Kirsten complained.

“Did you need something?”

Kirsten frowned. “I’m going to stay at Nana’s for the weekend.”

No asking permission, not even the consideration that she might need to. This had to stop. Laura had tried so hard to keep Jerry’s abuse hidden from the children that she had become a doormat in her daughter’s eyes. And it was becoming more blatant since Jerry’s death.

“I don’t think so, Kirsten.”

Her daughter stomped her foot and Laura noticed she was wearing a new pair of shoes, another present from her grandmother. “But Nana said we were going shopping!”

“You didn’t ask me for permission.”

Kirsten scowled, her pert features so much like her father’s. “What’s the big deal?”

Maybe it had been a mistake to try to keep Jerry’s image untarnished, to keep their arguing secret. “I’m your mother, Kirsten. Without my permission, you don’t go anywhere. And that includes your grandparents’.”

“That’s not fair!”

“Those are the rules. You wouldn’t have thought you could go without permission when your father was alive.”

Kirsten was definitely her daddy’s girl. She shook the blond hair—exactly like his—blue duplicates of her father’s eyes now furious. “Daddy would have said yes!”

“Maybe. And maybe you’ll think twice next time about announcing you’ve got plans, instead of asking for permission.”

“Nana’s right. We should come live with her.”

Laura stared at her. “What?”

“Nana says you won’t be able to manage and we should come live with her. I think she’s right. And Gregg will think she’s right, too, when I tell him.”

Fear unsettled her. Up until now, Gregg hadn’t acted like his older sister. But if Kirsten tried to influence him… And Meredith…if she was campaigning to take the children away…

Laura had to do something. Living only two blocks away from her in-laws, it would be easy for Kirsten to visit them as often as she wished. Yet moving was nearly impossible. She couldn’t sell the house. And if she leased it out…she didn’t want to move her children into an area that wasn’t safe just to find lower rent. And that was the only way she could imagine finding the funds to go back to school herself. Unless…

Unless she learned the basics of flipping houses from Paul Russell. She hadn’t been able to find her courage in years, but now…now she had to.

Laura fretted and agonized for days. If she stayed in Houston, her life would be out of her control as it had been during her marriage. But, if she could convince Paul Russell…She knew she didn’t have any practical experience to bring to the table, but…She moved away from the window, her steps hesitant, and reached for the phone.

She dialed Donna’s number. They’d been friends since the third grade, and Donna was the only person she had confided in throughout her marriage. Donna answered on the third ring.

“I’m glad you’re home.”

“I was checking out what’s left in my fridge. Pretty pathetic.”

Laura frowned. Donna was a software engineer and she worked out of her home office. “You must be busy.”

“Just finished a deadline.”

“Oh.” Laura hesitated. Donna was always rushed after a deadline, playing catch up.

“What’s going on?”

Laura explained.

“I can take the kids to school, pick them up,” Donna offered. “And I’ll stay until you get home.”

“Are you sure it’s not an inconvenience?”

“I’ll bring my laptop, start on my new project. Besides, you probably have food in your fridge.”

Laura let out a breath. “What would I do without you?”

Donna laughed. “Let’s not find out. And stop worrying. Things will work out.”

Early the following morning, before traffic could clog the roads, Laura set out for Rosewood. Although both freeways heading west out of the city were always packed, Laura’s predawn head start helped.

It was nearly ten o’clock when she arrived. She hadn’t known what to expect, but the charm of the perfectly kept Victorian buildings surprised her. Equally old elm trees shaded the wide sidewalks. No boarded-up buildings on Main Street. Looked like the town was alive and kicking. She spotted an old-fashioned drugstore that made her think of the one her grandmother used to take her to for ice-cream sodas when she was a little girl. It was one of the few positive memories from her childhood.

Intrigued, Laura slowed down, savoring a place that hadn’t been edged out by a superstore or run down by neglect. She spotted cheery gingham curtains in the café windows and smiled. She needed cheer more than breakfast, which she had skipped in her hurry to get an early start, but she didn’t want to stop. She wanted to catch Paul early.

She found his office easily enough. The simple brass plaque above the wide black awning announced Distinctive Properties, Ltd.

Grasping the brass door handle, she tried to take hold of her courage as easily. She stepped inside. Paul sat at an old mahogany desk facing the entrance. A second, similar desk was angled next to his, but it was empty. The office was small, with some leather chairs, filing cabinets, coffeemaker and not much else. There was another door at the rear.