How did I quit smoking

Quitting Smoking is easy – I've personally done it hundreds of times (Mark Twain)

First Puff

On that summer day, half a century ago, I was six years old. I noticed how Mike, my classmate and neighbor, sneaked around the corner of the five-story building, to its rear side without entrances. Our young working-class town was then being intensely build up and growing. Our newly build five-story building for seventy five apartments stood on the very outskirts. Behind it was only almost pristine field with wild grass up to the waist. It was clear that Mike had gone there out of sight with some secret intention. Out of curiosity, I sneaked behind him. When I popped up from around the corner, Mike was leaning back against the wall, about ten meters from me. He glared at me angrily. As I approached, he muttered: «What’s the matter?" Then, he took his hand out from behind his back and handed me a smoking cigarette butt: "Here, take a drag!" I hesitated for a moment, as I had never liked the idea of smoking, because it was widely considered a ‘crime’ for children and I knew that it was harmful to health. Nevertheless, out of curiosity, I decided to try it once, just to learn what it is really like. I was sure it must be very pleasant, since so many adults did smoke despite health harm. I did not have the slightest idea how to smoke and did not know that the puff should be sucked first into mouth, and only then, diluted with fresh air from semi-open mouth, to lungs. I took the butt proffered to me, put it in my mouth, and breathed through it the hot smoke directly inside. Straight away I felt as though a fire had burned my lungs. I could feel their shape, size and location by the boundaries of the pain. I was stunned for a moment by surprise, disappointment and pain. Then tears splashed from my eyes and I burst into a loud, prolonged cough. Mike got worried that my coughing would attract someone's malapropos attention. "Uh-uh, you don’t even know how to smoke," Mike said irritably and pulled at my sleeve away from there.

Such a negative first experience discouraged me for long from attempting to smoke again. I thought forever. When most of my teenage friends started bragging about their smoking, especially in companies, I firmly refused then. In the USSR, the vast majority of men smoked (contrary to women). Therefore, when I reached the age of 15, I began to periodically hear from my peers phrases like ‘you are not a man, since you do not smoke’ and catch half-contemptuous glances at myself. By that time almost all my peers around already were smoking. In the courtyard at the school by that time, several stable companies of smokers had formed. They regularly used to show themselves off with a smoking cigarette. I was not firmly attached to any of such groups and along with other several teenagers we maintained a certain ‘independence’. So, I and several other guys could never start smoking, but that would have some obvious repercussions to us. Firstly we would be permanently excluded from many teenage ‘adventures’ and in addition would be dubbed as a ‘mama's boys’ (it would be especially applicable to me, given the fact that I was raised by a single mother). Such prospect did not suit me and I decided on rare occasions to force myself to smoke a cigarette. I deliberately did this only with a large crowd of peers, so that with one act of smoking could be demonstrated to as many my peers, as possible. About half of my friends quickly became addicted to nicotine and complained when there were no cigarettes around. I didn’t quite believe them for a long time, suspecting that they were just maintaining their ‘manhood’ that way. For me, due to my seldom smoking, the craving for nicotine did not develop for long. I played sports, attended boxing training group, and felt to sympathy for tobacco at all.

The vise clenched

Yet, finally, I became addicted too. An so strongly! By the time I entered the university, I was consistently smoking half a pack of cigarettes a day. Further, my living in a smoking hostel, the stress of studying and the romance of student life brought my daily consumption to a pack of cigarettes a day. Many students have been on this dose for years. My addiction progressed mercilessly further. By the end of my fourth year, I was smoking a pack and a half a day, sometimes even two. Such amount of nicotine could not but affect my health and well-being. The mood and vividness of perception of life decreased. My face became gray with circles under eyes. First time in my life I experienced shortness of breath and my heart began to ache. Performance in all my activities decreased and went up only for short periods after smoking. In the end even this positive effect of nicotine disappeared – I began to feel bad after each cigarette smoked! A paradoxical situation arose. Every 20 minutes I had a craving for a cigarette, which increased dramatically over time if I abstained. But as soon as I smoked it, I became ill straight away and my performance dropped to almost zero. I decided to quit smoking at whatever it takes. Unexpectedly I’ve got a boost to my morale. I discovered another student who had the same symptoms – he also suffered after each cigarette consumed. We both woke up in the morning completely physically exhausted, not remembering what day of the week it was, what lectures today scheduled and at what time, what was yesterday, what we planned for today. We could hardly think of anything, barely remember our names, but we firmly remembered that we urgently needed to smoke two or three cigarettes in a row preferably strong ones like ‘Belomorkanal’ or ‘Kazbek’. Then we needed to drink a couple of glasses of strongest black tea. And only after that, the memory and vitality slowly returned to us. Our brains launched the process of thinking and our bodies began to satisfactorily obey our commands. We were ready to start a new day.

The first attack

We agreed to quit smoking together in order to support each other morally and keeping in mind that the shame of failure of one of us in front of the other would hold each of us back. I only lasted two days. Not sure about him. We both ended up smoking secretly from each other. A few days later, our common friends discovered our cheating and revealed it to both of us.

I decided to strengthen the deterrent effect of shame, as well as to exclude the very possibility of secretly smoking or at least to make it as difficult as possible. Having gathered all my courage, I announced to ALL my acquaintances that from such and such a date I would no longer smoke. The day came. I threw away all my cigarettes and hold on with all my might. Falling asleep became a feat. The mornings became worse than the morning of execution for the Streltsy at Peter the Great reign. For them, at least, their sufferings then were soon over, whereas for me they were just restarting again. My head refused to think straight. I kept forgetting about everything and was unfriendly. For four days, I somehow managed to get through honestly. On the fifth day, I was ‘caught’ secretly smoking in the park by one of my friends, who spread the news to everyone. It was a shame! When next time again I publicly announced that I was quitting smoking once more, I was openly giggled at.

The second battle

I sat down to study the medical literature. Some doctors suggested a gradual cessation of smoking, the so-called ‘ladder’, when every week or month the number of cigarettes smoked decreases by 1 or 2. This reduced the requirement for the level of willpower on each individual day, but stretched the process of getting rid of it for almost a year, which, in my opinion, was even more problematic. In the literature, however, some successful results of that approach had been mentioned. My friend had undertaken such approach and apparently kept himself ‘on track in schedule’ for several weeks, but then ‘derailed’ due to overstressing in examination session by his explanation. As to me, I did make very week attempt by this method because doubted it from the very beginning. I ‘derailed’ after a few days.

Another advice from the doctors was that nicotine into human body needs to penetrate not from cigarettes, but through nicotine tablets that are absorbed in the mouth or from nicotine plaster adhesive to the body, from which nicotine is gradually released the body through the skin, then is carried by the bloodstream and saturates the cells. It was affirmed that such method significantly weakens the desire to smoke and, thus, increases the chances of victory over the bad habit. It was said that after a couple of months of abstinence, it would be possible to gradually reduce to zero the number of tablets taken or plasters applied. Authors assured that many people got rid of the addiction that way. As an engineer, I reckoned the idea was brilliant.

By that time I had already graduated from the university. This fact I regarded rather as favorable, because I came to the conclusion that I should defeat my addiction in a one-on-one duel, without witnesses, not telling anyone about it as it was purely my personal challenge to my personal malicious misfortune. The extra people, I thought, would only hinder me, distract me, because I had to concentrate only on myself, on my enemy, and on nothing else. As befits a young maximalist, I bought both pills and patches and boldly went into battle. The craving for a cigarette has indeed eased, but not so much that I can completely abandon the habit. I managed to reduce the number of cigarettes from one and a half packs to one, but then progress stopped, despite my perseverance and the increase in the number of pills and patches used. After spending two months in plasters, constantly sucking pills and still smoking a pack at a time, I stopped the further mockery of myself. Maybe pills and patches are unable to sufficiently or correctly saturate the cells of the body, or they saturate only a part of the cells, or not those brain cells, or tobacco contains some substances in addition to nicotine (coctinin, for example), without which the effectiveness of pure nicotine therapy is reduced? I’m not a doctor, and I won't guess. Perhaps, I once again my level of will power was not up to the barrier, that’ all.

The third war

Demoralised by my second failures, I smoked a cigarette, lay down on the bed, and began to think slowly. Obviously, I reasoned, if the body does not feed nicotine for a long time, its concentration will gradually decrease to almost zero. For example, if a person is chained to a bed for a year without access to smoking, then he will get rid of the bad habit. Or two months are enough? I went to the medical reference books and was surprised to learn that the half-life period of nicotine in body is only 1-2 days. For cotinine it just 2 times longer. Moreover, already since 3-4 days the body begins to produce the missing nicotine by itself! Thus, even in the time of my ‘first attack’ to smoking, when I lasted for four whole days, I should have been able to win (since the concentrations of both nicotine and cotinine had already fallen to very low levels). However, this did not happen. Why? One of my own assumptions was that with long-term smoking, the cell gets used to increased levels of nicotine. Therefore, if you lower the level of nicotine in it by abstinence, it will begin to experience nicotine hunger and force a person to smoke. Although on the third day of abstinence, the body itself produces nicotine, but, apparently, only in those normal doses that the body needs, and not in those increased ones the cells of an avid smoker are accustomed to. How long the abstinence must be sustained for the cell to wean itself from the increased concentration of the poison? The answer to this question could only be given by the testimonies of people who had successfully quit smoking.

So, I began to carefully recall in detail the moments before pulling out another cigarette from the pack. I remembered that sometimes I went to smoke not because I really wanted to, but to distract myself from some routine task that had tired me out. Smoking, in this case, gave me a kind of ‘legal’ break and rest about 30 times during the continuous routine of the day. How long do you need to refrain from smoking, so that the body is weaned from regular and frequent breaks? Surely, psychologists can clarify something here (I read that replacing the act of smoking with the act of drinking tea helps a bit). But reliable and accurate information on the necessary period of abstinence could be given to me – I was sure of It – only by people who themselves got rid of this passion.

I began to ‘hunt’ for former smokers everywhere: in the student dormitory, among the professors of the university, among random fellow travelers on public transport and, the streets, among friends of my friends, in libraries, in medical magazines, in magazines about film actors, etc. (the Internet then, alas, did not yet exist at usable level). The information was sparse. However, bit by bit, I found out that the average period of abstinence, after which the craving for addiction abruptly dropped to almost zero, is on average one and a half months (from a month to two). So, all I had to do was to squeeze my will into a fist for a month and a half, two at most. Such concrete answer served to me as a signal to act.

I chose a two-month period in which not much stress was expected, got rid of cigarettes around and composed a cunning ‘mantra’: "I only need to endure for two months. If I still crave a cigarette after two months, I give myself the right to smoke again." The ‘mantra’ made the task psychologically easier because it did not require an eternal struggle to win at any cost by allowing me to give up after two months. The calculation was, of course, that in two months I would no longer want to smoke. I repeated this ‘mantra’ every time the urge to smoke became particularly acute. And the ‘mantra’ helped!

But after ten days, I still snapped. A month later, I tried again. And failed again. Then another attempt. And another failure. And another try. And more. And again. And again. Quitting smoking turned into a regularly renewing attempt, which continued until at one point, somewhere in the twentieth session, I passed the mark of a month. Then I joyfully felt in my guts that the goal was already achievable, that since now I was able to push on to the end. This realization gave me new strength, hope and even confidence. When a month and a half passed and the craving for smoking almost completely disappeared, I suddenly, for no apparent reason, felt a so strong urge to smoke as I had never felt before, even when I was a smoker. I couldn’t stand it and went out to the stall to buy a pack of cigarettes. Having come to the stall, I pointed to the pack of my favorite cigarettes ‘Kazbek’, pulled out my wallet and suddenly … I felt that I did not want to smoke at all! I pondered over the strangeness of situation like in a slow-motion movie and still bought a pack ‘in autopilot’. Then I looked at it as something that was already alien to me and happily returned it to the surprised seller with the words: "Keep it for yourself, in case of shortage…". Soon it seemed bizarre to me that I used to smoke.

I, your devoted author, do not say that you can quit smoking only as I described – abruptly, squeezing the will into a fist for two months. Many people do quit in different ways also. My story is written for those who so far could not give up otherwise. For those, who achieved it neither gradually, nor with the help of psychologists, nor with the help of doctors. The story is written because it has really worked for me. I sincerely believe that for real men, it is the most quick and practical way. Here is what St. Philaret of Moscow wrote on this occasion: "Give up your smoky habit! It will not be easy for you, but do not rely on yourself: call on God to help and for God at once – certainly immediately – cut off the evil!"

Religious people can replace my ‘mantra’ with a suitable prayer. Below in the Appendix are three of the strongest such prayers – one Christian prayer, another – Muslim prayer and the third – Buddhist (Tibetan) mantra. Good luck!

Appendixes:

CHRISTIAN prayer to St. Ambrose of Optina for deliverance from the passion of tobacco smoking:

"Reverend Father Ambrose, you, having boldness before the Lord, implore The Lord Merciful to give me an ambulance in the fight against impure passion. Oh, my God! Through the prayers of Your saint, the Monk Ambrose, purify my mouth, keep my heart intact, and fill it with the fragrance of Your Holy Spirit, so that the evil tobacco passion may flee from me far away, back to where it came from: into the belly of hell."

MUSLIM prayer to Allah for getting rid of the passion of tobacco smoking:

You should start with ablution and prostration. "I have recourse to Allah. O Allah! There is no God but you, and you are my God. You created me, and I am your servant. I am drawing near to you and moving away from all the evil that I have done. Forgive me, for no one will forgive me but you. Deliver me, my Lord Merciful, from the habit of tobacco potion. You are my Lord, so help me."

BUDDHIST (Tibetan) mantra for getting rid of the passion of smoking:

"Omm e han y haru haru hinne, syra sera mon a myn, byr mane ha manna hinne."

The text must be read exactly 108 times. In order not to lose count, you can use a rosary. At the end, take a comfortable note and pronounce the sound "u" for as long as your breath allowes to get rid of excess energy and negativity.