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She’d gotten emotionally involved with Craig and his sons.
Jill knew better, but she’d done it anyway.
She’d wanted it to be real. All of it. Craig’s affection. And the boys’ feelings, too. She liked taking care of them. She liked being the one they confessed their secrets to, the one they ran to when they were hurting.
After years of being lonely, her heart had responded to the love between the boys and their father. She’d wanted a piece of that for herself. Was that so wrong?
Jill knew the answer. Of course it was.
Because it wasn’t real.
She was, after all, just the hired help.
Wasn’t she?
www.millsandboon.co.uk
Table of Contents
Cover
Back Cover Copy
Title Page
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Extract
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Copyright
Chapter One
At the exact moment the hot water kicked on in the shower, the doorbell rang. Jill Bradford leaned her forehead against the ceramic tile and gritted her teeth. Timing. Life was all about timing and hers was usually bad.
Or maybe it was this house, she thought, grabbing her robe with one hand while she turned off the water with the other. Maybe there was a little light that ran from the bathroom to the front of the building so that every time she tried to take a shower, it went on. People saw the light and knew it was time to come calling. Yesterday it had been young girls selling cookies. Two days ago, someone selling magazine subscriptions.
The bell rang again, and Jill hurried down the hall. She had the fleeting thought that she could not bother with her robe and could simply flash whoever was rude enough to interrupt her shower, but decided against the idea. The way her luck was running, there would be a cop on the other side of the door and she would be arrested.
She reached the front door just as the visitor pressed the bell again. This time the long tone sounded impatient. Jill raised herself up on her toes and stared out the tiny peephole that had obviously been designed by and for the tall people of the world. She stared at the distorted image and gasped.
A cop?
Barely pausing long enough to secure the tie on her robe, she turned the key to release the dead bolt and jerked open the door. “Yes?”
“Ms. Jill Bradford?”
“Yes.”
“I’m Craig Haynes.”
The police officer paused as if the name was supposed to mean something. Jill stared at him and blinked. It didn’t mean a thing to her. She studied the man. He was tall. Too tall for her comfort. She had to crane her head back to see his face. But it was worth the crick in her neck, she decided, taking in curly dark hair, brown eyes and features handsome enough to grace a male model. She inspected the shape of his mouth and the stubborn set of his chin. She didn’t have a perfect memory but she was reasonably confident she would have remembered someone who looked as good as he did.
Her gaze slipped down his chest. The black short-sleeved shirt of his uniform outlined his well-muscled body. He had the build of an athlete. Impressive. Very impressive. Even to someone who had sworn off men and relationships.
“I’m sorry, Officer Haynes,” she said, returning her attention to his face. “I don’t know who you are.”
The faint hints of gray at his temples were the only clue he wasn’t as young as he appeared. He didn’t look thirty, but she would guess he was several years older than that.
He chose that moment to smile. Lines appeared around his eyes and mouth. His teeth flashed white. He should come with a warning label, she thought as her stomach clenched and her knees threatened to buckle. Do not operate heavy machinery around this man. If she hadn’t been leaning against the doorframe, she would have collapsed in a heap at his feet.
“I should have been more specific,” he said. “Your friend Kim gave me your name. She was going to take care of my kids. She said you would be happy to take her place.”
Kids? “Oh, now I remember.” Jill smiled. “Of course.” She pushed the door open wide. “Sorry. Please come in, and we can talk about this.”
“Thanks.” He stepped past her into the small entryway. The view from the back was pretty impressive, too, she thought as she gave him a quick onceover. Wide shoulders and the kind of butt most women would kill to have. Why was it men had great butts simply by virtue of being men, while women could aerobicize until their hearts were strong enough to power a freight train but the shape was never quite right? Not that Jill spent all that much time on the treadmill. Still, she thought about it a lot and surely that counted for something.
“In here,” she said, motioning for Craig to step into the living room.
He moved with an easy long-legged stride. She felt like a dwarf waddling along behind him. Not that she was heavy. She was just short. And curvy. An unfortunate combination that made her feel like a cuddly kitten in a world full of Barbie dolls.
The perfect creases in his uniform pants, and the carefully trimmed dark hair that stopped just above his collar, made her remember her own disheveled appearance. She touched her short hair and tried to remember how much it had been sticking up the last time she’d looked in a mirror.
“You’ll have to excuse me,” she said, perching on the edge of the sofa. Craig had chosen the wing chair opposite the fireplace. He leaned forward and placed his uniform cap brim-up on the coffee table. “I’ve been so busy taking care of things for Kim I haven’t had a chance to shower this morning.”
She tugged on the hem of her suddenly too-short robe and tried to look mature. She was thirty, but without makeup and tailored clothes, she looked like a teenager. Her mother had told her that in time she would appreciate looking so young, but Jill wasn’t sure. She had a bad feeling she was still going to look like a cute, albeit wrinkled, kitten well into her seventies. The tall world did not take short people seriously.
“When did Kim leave?” Craig asked.
“They eloped yesterday.” She smiled, remembering her friend’s happiness. Kim hadn’t been sure it was the right thing to do, but Jill had encouraged her to go. Real love, the forever kind, didn’t come around very often. Jill might have had her heart broken more times than any one woman deserved, but she still had faith—for other people, if not for herself.
“It was very romantic,” she continued. “Brian hired a limo to take them to the airport. She’d told a few friends, so they were here to see them off.”
She stared out the window, but instead of the front yard and the house across the street, she saw the radiant couple. The love between them had been as tangible as the small bouquet Kim had been holding.
“She called last night from Reno, and they’re already married. She should be back in a couple of weeks.”
There was a manila folder on top of the glass coffee table. Jill reached for it and flipped it open. There were several sheets of papers covered with careful notes. Lists of people to call, bills to pay, errands to run. She didn’t mind. It was the least she could do for a friend. After all, when her life had fallen apart, Kim had offered her a place to stay. Speaking of which, Brian would be moving into Kim’s house after the honeymoon. Jill needed to start looking for a place of her own.
Later, she told herself, scanning the list. Craig Haynes. Oh, there he was. Right between canceling a dentist’s appointment and checking on the delivery of Kim’s new king-size bed.
“Here’s the note,” she said, then glanced up at Craig.
The police officer had the oddest look on his face. As if he’d never seen anyone like her before. She reached up and fingered the ends of her short hair. Was it sticking up in spikes? Did she still have crumbs from her Pop-Tart toaster pastry around her mouth?
She licked her lips but didn’t feel anything. Craig’s gaze narrowed and his back stiffened. She almost asked what was wrong, but figured she probably didn’t really want to know. She glanced back at the list.
“Jill said you have three boys. Twelve, nine and six. That’s really not a problem for me.”
She made the statement brightly. Someone who didn’t know her wouldn’t notice the tightness around the words. No one would be able to feel her heart beating faster. Baby-sitting. There were a thousand other things she would have gladly done for Kim instead, like regrout the shower or put down a tile floor. But she hadn’t been given a choice. Still, it was just for a couple of nights. She would survive.
A wave of longing swept over her. She missed her girls. Her fingers tightened on the papers she was holding. They weren’t her girls, she reminded herself. She’d just been their stepmother. She must not have been a very good one, either, because ever since the divorce, neither of the girls had wanted to see her. But the pain wasn’t enough to stop her from missing them.
“Not so fast,” Craig said, leaning forward in the wing chair.
“Hmm? What?” She blinked away the past and focused on the very good-looking man sitting in front of her. “What do you mean?”
“Have you done this sort of thing before?” he asked.
“Taken care of children? Of course. I was a teenager, Officer Haynes. I baby-sat.” She thought of mentioning her failed marriage but figured it wasn’t his business.
“You’re not employed now.” It was a statement.
She felt a faint flush on her cheeks. “No. I left my last position a couple of months ago.”
“Were you fired?”
“No! Of course not. I just needed to get away. It’s more like a leave of absence. I have an open invitation to return if I want to.”
His dark gaze held hers. “The name of the company you worked for?”
“McMillian Insurance in San Clemente. That’s Southern California.”
“I know where it is.” He pulled a small notebook and pen from his shirt pocket and wrote. “Who did you report to there?”
She gave him the name and phone number, then frowned. “Excuse me, Officer Haynes, but I don’t understand why you’re interrogating me.”
“It’s Craig, and I’m not going to trust just anyone with my children.”
“I appreciate that. I assure you I’m not a convicted felon and—”
“Are you an accused felon?” The corner of his mouth tilted up with a hint of a smile.
“Not that either. I haven’t even had a parking ticket in years. My point is, I’m going to be looking after your children for one or two nights. While I appreciate your diligence, I think you’re taking it a little too far. I’m hardly going to be an influential force in their lives.”
“Is that what you think? Ms. Bradford—”
“Jill,” she interrupted.
He nodded. “Jill, I’m not looking for a baby-sitter. Kim had agreed to be a live-in nanny for my three boys. When she decided to elope, she said you’d take the job.”
“Well, she was wrong,” Jill said without thinking.
A full-time nanny? That was insane. Absolutely the last thing she wanted was to work with someone else’s kids. Okay, she didn’t have a job right now, but that was because she wasn’t sure what she wanted to do with her life. She could go back to San Clemente. Her condo was sublet, but she could rent another one. Her job was waiting. But that didn’t feel right. She didn’t want to go back to her old life. That was the point of living with Kim for a few weeks.
Craig moved to the edge of the chair. He rested his elbows on his knees and clasped his hands together, clutching the notebook. “Jill, I’m in a bind. I’ve interviewed literally a dozen women for the position, and Kim was the only one I thought would work. She was young enough to be able to relate to the children and old enough to maintain discipline. She assured me you had experience with children and would be just as suitable. She also said you’d agreed to take her place.”
“I said I would baby-sit. She never told me it was a full-time job. My Lord, you probably want me to live with you and your boys.”
He nodded. His dark eyebrows drew together. “I’m currently involved in a special investigation. I won’t bore you with the details, but it requires me to be gone odd hours. I never know when I’m going to be called away. The boys are too young to be left alone. They need some stability. I’ve had five nannies in the last four months.”
She frowned. “What’s wrong with your children?”
He hesitated just long enough for her to suspect there really was a problem. “My wife and I divorced several years ago. Although she didn’t have much contact with them, her death last year shook them up. The woman who had looked after them left shortly after that. Since then it’s been one change after another. With my new assignment and being gone all the time—” He turned his hands palms up and spread his fingers. “They’re scared little kids who need someone to look after them. Nothing more.”
She rose to her feet and walked to the window. “You’re not playing fair,” she said slowly, staring at the house across the street. “I have this mental picture of poor starving orphans shivering in the snow.”
“Based on the weekly food bill, they’re not starving.”
Jill grimaced. Damn him, and damn Kim. When her friend returned from her honeymoon, Jill was going to give her a piece of her mind. This wasn’t fair. Not to Jill, not to Craig and not to the kids.
She fought against a twinge of guilt. She was partially to blame. When Kim had come to her and talked about eloping, Jill had encouraged her to just go for it. Her life was so upside-down, she wanted someone she cared about to be happy. Kim had worried about the job, and Jill had blithely told her she would step in.
Next time I’ll find out the details before agreeing, Jill promised herself. In the meantime, three boys didn’t have anyone to look after them.
“I find it difficult to believe that you couldn’t find one other nanny you liked,” Jill said.
Craig didn’t answer. She turned to face him and found him standing only a few feet behind her. She had to tilt her head back to meet his gaze.
“I’ve taken enough of your time,” he said and placed his hat on his head. The black uniform emphasized his dark hair and eyes.
He was leaving. That would be best for both of them. Yet what about the children? She really didn’t have a job right now, and she wasn’t ready to go back to San Clemente. She might never be ready to do that. Besides, she could use the money. If it wasn’t permanent, if she were careful to keep her heart firmly under lock and key, it might not be so bad. She would be a caretaker; she would not get personally involved.
“Spring break is in a few weeks,” she said quickly. “Let’s give each other a one-week trial. If it works out, I’ll stay until break. That will give you time to find someone who wants a permanent position. Agreed?”
He stared down at her. She couldn’t read his expression. She wondered how much of that was because he was a cop and how much of it was the man himself. He didn’t look like the chatty, outgoing type.
He crossed to her in two long strides and held out his hand. “Agreed.”
His smile once again made her knees threaten to buckle. At least she was short enough that if she collapsed it wasn’t a real long way down. She extended her hand toward him and tried to give him her best smile. He didn’t seem the least bit affected. Hmm, she would have to work on it more. She wanted to leave men in a broken heap trailing behind her. Maybe it was—
His skin brushed against hers. Instantly electricity raced between them. His long fingers and broad palm swallowed her hand nearly up to her wrist. Her heart thundered in double time and her breathing choked to a stop. She hoped she didn’t look as stunned as she felt. She hoped it was just a quirk of fate, a not-to-be-repeated cosmic thing, because there was no way she was going to get involved with a man. Any man. And certainly not one with children.
Been there, done that, she reminded herself. The punishing aftermath was still evident in her healing emotional wounds.
“Do you have a car?” Craig asked, apparently un-fazed by the sparks leaping between them. Or maybe they were just leaping one way.
“Uh-huh.” She withdrew her hand and, before she could stop herself, wiped it on her robe. The soft cotton did nothing to erase the electricity still prickling her skin.
He raised his eyebrows but didn’t say anything. She was grateful.
“If you want to pack a few things, we could go right over.” He glanced at his watch. “My neighbor could only stay with the boys for an hour.”
“They’re home today?”
“It’s Saturday.”
“Oh. I forgot.” With the excitement of getting Kim ready to elope, there hadn’t been time to keep track of mundane things like days of the week. “No problem.” She glanced down at her robe. “Let me take a quick shower and pack enough to last until Monday. I can come back here while they’re in school. I still have a few things to take care of for Kim.”
She started toward the doorway, then glanced at him. “You can have a seat. Or there’s coffee in the kitchen. Whatever.”
“I’ll wait here,” he said.
She stepped into the hallway.
“Jill?”
She turned around. He’d removed his hat and was running his hand through his hair. His self-control slipped a bit, and she saw the worry in his eyes. “I hope Kim knows what a good friend you are. You didn’t have to do this. I really appreciate it.”
The compliment made her uncomfortable. “No big deal. I’m a sucker for kids and puppies. Be right out.”
Even as she hurried up the stairs, she started making a mental list of everything she would have to do. Packing, stopping the paper. She wouldn’t worry about the mail today. But Monday she would put it on vacation hold. Kim didn’t have any pets, which made that part easy. She would tell Kim’s neighbor she was leaving so someone would keep an eye on the house. She would need Craig’s phone number, too.
She walked into the guest bathroom and closed the door behind her. As she glanced into the mirror, she stifled a groan. Her hair was sticking up in spiky tufts. Her mother had promised her it would darken as she got older, but it was still the color of a rag doll’s. She wore it short because otherwise she looked out of proportion. Without makeup, her eyes looked too big and green. That, combined with her small, almost triangular button nose, gave her an uncomfortable resemblance to the kitten so many people likened her to.
“I’ll just pencil in some whiskers and be done with it,” she muttered under her breath, then turned her back on the image and flipped on the shower. No wonder Craig Haynes had hired her. She looked young enough to be the perfect playmate for his kids.
* * *
Craig drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly. Now that Jill had left the room, he was able to ease up on his iron-willed self-control. It was as if the dam burst, as heated blood coursed through his body, settling inappropriately in his groin. He walked to the window and stared out blindly. He hoped his new nanny believed in taking long showers. He was going to need the extra time to get himself back under control.
He could handle the fact that she was an attractive woman, although the petite pixie look had never been his type. Big green eyes and a smile that promised two parts humor and one part sin was okay with him, too. The tousled just-out-of-bed look was a bit more of a problem, but he knew he would have been able to keep it all together…if she hadn’t been naked.
He swore under his breath. He’d been so worried about the boys, he hadn’t noticed at first. But when she’d settled on the sofa, her full breasts had been evident beneath the thin fabric of her robe. He hadn’t had a date in two years. He hadn’t been with a woman for even longer. Unfortunately, his body had chosen that moment to surge back to life.
Even with her out of the room and only the faint hint of her perfume lingering in the air, he could feel the need flowing through him. He wanted to go to her and hold her in his arms. He wanted to kiss her and—
“Stop it,” he said aloud.
He had to get control. All that mattered was finding someone to take care of the boys. Jill Bradford was only a stopgap. He was going to have to find someone permanent. As if he had the time.
He rubbed the back of his neck. The dull ache that began between his shoulder blades and worked its way up his neck had become a permanent companion. Now it stepped up a degree in intensity. He would start interviewing right away. The agency swore they didn’t have anyone else to send him, but there had to be someone. Maybe the perfect nanny was about to leave her job somewhere else. He could only hope.
He heard footsteps overhead. He thought about all he knew about Jill. Kim had mentioned she was recovering from a messy divorce. He could relate to that. He’d gone through the same thing nearly six years ago. Krystal had wanted out, but she hadn’t made it easy. He’d hung on as best he could, trying to be both mother and father to the boys. He’d thought he was doing well, until this last year.
What had gone wrong? Was it the hours he put in? He didn’t usually volunteer for special assignments, but this one was different. There wasn’t a lot of glory involved. No big drug busts, no fifteen minutes of fame on the local news report. Just directly helping those in need. He’d wanted to give something back. Were his kids paying the price for that?
He knew some of the trouble with the boys was that they’d lost Mrs. Miller. She’d been a part of their lives for nearly five years. Coming on the heels of their mother’s death—Craig shook his head. No wonder the boys weren’t themselves.
He’d done his best to keep it from happening, but history was repeating itself again. He was gone a lot, as his father had been. He was failing his kids, and he wasn’t sure how to make it better.
A thunk from the top of the stairs broke through his musings. He walked through the living room and into the hallway. Jill was dragging down a suitcase almost as big as she was.
“I’ll get that,” he said, taking the stairs two at a time.
“I can manage,” she said politely, then stood aside to let him pick up the case. It wasn’t very heavy, but she was so tiny, how big could her clothes be?
“Is this it?” he asked when he reached the first floor.
She nodded. “I can come back and get whatever I’ve forgotten.” She had a purse over her shoulder. She shook it once, then frowned. “Keys. I need keys.”
While she glanced at the small table in the entryway, then patted her pockets, he studied her. She’d made a quick change. Her short red hair was still damp from her shower. Bangs fell nearly to her delicate eyebrows. The style left her small ears bare. She’d put on some makeup. With it, she looked older, although not anywhere near thirty, which he knew she was. She wore faded jeans that hinted at the curvy legs he’d seen just a few minutes before. The baggy white sweatshirt dwarfed her small frame. She’d pushed up the sleeves, exposing finely boned hands and wrists.