Stop. Dont Repeat My Mistakes. My 31 Honest Pieces of Advice

6. You Have an Ocean of Energy—You’re Just Pouring It Down the Drain

One of the biggest misconceptions people have is:

“I don’t have any energy.”

That’s a lie you keep selling yourself—a cheap substitute for the truth.

The reality is that you have an enormous amount of energy.

We all do.

A colossal, almost unimaginable amount.

The problem is that you don’t know how to handle it.

You don’t know how to direct this powerful current.

And so you end up draining it away.

You pour it out uselessly, like water from a broken pipe, and then wonder why you end up depleted, apathetic, and chronically exhausted.

Because energy cannot tolerate stagnation.

It either flows into something meaningful—or it starts destroying everything around it, including you.

For example, you may have a deep inner desire to do something.

To create a business project that has been growing inside your mind for years.

To make something with your hands—to sew, carve, sculpt, build.

To grow a garden.

To work with soil and plants.

To create order in your home.

Or even to move to a new city and start your life from scratch.

That desire is alive inside you.

It gives you energy.

It gets you out of bed in the morning.

But you’re afraid to act on it.

Why?

Because you want stability.

You want the familiar swamp where everything is predictable—even if it’s gray, stagnant, and suffocating.

You’re afraid of losing your imaginary sense of security.

You’re afraid to step into the unknown, where you might fail, lose face, waste time, or lose money.

And because of that fear, you start frantically asking yourself:

“Where can I pour all this energy? What can I do with it so I don’t explode from the tension?”

You don’t want to do the thing that actually matters.

It’s too serious.

It requires too much responsibility.

Too much commitment.

Too much of you.

So instead, you start looking for something that will give you an immediate hit of pleasure.

Something that will create at least the illusion of fulfillment.

You endlessly scroll through videos at night like a zombie.

You binge-watch shows that leave you feeling empty the next morning.

You look for distractions.

Maybe you buy a bottle of wine or some other alcohol to “relax.”

Maybe you go out and party.

Maybe you find someone for a one-night stand.

Maybe you go dancing.

Anything to drown out that inner calling.

And what are you actually doing?

You’re pouring all your precious fuel into those distractions.

All that life force that could have built your empire, written your book, grown your garden, or created something meaningful.

Sometimes you pick fights with strangers over nothing.

Or you fight with your partner—perhaps even subconsciously provoking conflict because you need somewhere to release all that heat inside you.

So much energy gets wasted on arguments, fears, alcohol, sugar, overeating, unhealthy habits, and exhausting “work”—the kind of activity you don’t actually need and that only makes your life harder.

You are making your own life harder.

Why?

So you don’t have to do the things that would actually make your life easier.

Simpler.

Brighter.

Happier.

Because you simply don’t know what to do with all this energy.

This divine, almost unbearably powerful energy that you are given every day.

Every morning.

Every breath.

Every moment.

You don’t know how to receive it.

You don’t know how to direct it.

You don’t know how to trust it.

You think that if you allow yourself to fully experience your own power, it will overwhelm you.

But the truth is:

It won’t destroy you. It will lift you.

So stop pouring your energy into the drain.

Start digging a riverbed for it.

Give it somewhere to flow.

Let it move toward the places where you are most yourself.

Toward the places where your soul wants to express itself.

And then your energy will stop being a problem.

It will become your greatest fuel.

7. Happiness Isn’t About Money—It’s About Your State. BUT. Money Comes from Your State.

Crisis.

The fear of running out of money.

The fear that you won’t be able to earn enough, achieve your goals and dreams, or reach all those heights you’ve planned for yourself.

These are such familiar, sticky fears. They live somewhere in the back of almost every woman’s mind.

When I started earning more money, I honestly can’t say that my life changed dramatically.

My income grew four, six, eight times over time—but the numbers changed. Did I?

When I analyzed why this happened, I realized something:

I simply started saving more money and distributing it differently.

But there was no sudden moment when I thought:

“Oh my God! Finally!”

Of course, I bought myself some things and invested some of the money into my life. That felt good. It was enjoyable.

But I never deprived myself of the things I needed—even when my income was modest.

I still went to see a cosmetologist.

I got massages.

I worked out.

I went to nice restaurants and ate delicious food.

Because my body and mind needed those things.

And now, if I feel like having a beautiful breakfast by myself or going out for dinner with my girlfriends, I do it regardless of my income.

The only thing that changes is the frequency.

If my income goes down for a while, I simply go to restaurants less often.

But I still go.

I still relax.

I still enjoy myself.

And I’m genuinely happy about simple things:

A cappuccino with a beautiful view.

Meeting a friend.

Getting a manicure.

Receiving a compliment.

And here’s something incredibly important to understand:

Life truly transforms and begins to evolve dramatically when your subconscious—your deepest inner self—realizes that these external changes will or will not actually transform the way you experience your life.

Your life is already full.

Your life is already abundant.

If you allow yourself to feel that it is.

I’ve lived my entire life as if I had plenty of money.

And I’m not talking about luxury.

I’m talking about a feeling of freedom.

People sometimes ask me questions about beauty and appearance, and it’s funny because, in reality, there are no objectively “beautiful” or “ugly” women.

There are well-groomed and neglected women.

There are women who radiate warmth, joy, and kindness.

And there are women who carry darkness, sadness, and anger.

And when a man makes a serious choice about a woman, he is ultimately choosing her based on her state, not simply on her appearance.

There is this association that being beautiful means being dependent—that you are supposed to be an ornament for a man who provides for you.

But I’ve always lived as if I were “not beautiful” in that sense.

Meaning, I never made my appearance my only asset.

I never waited for someone to bring me a life on a silver platter.

Even when I was in wonderful relationships, I always looked for ways to earn money independently.

Not because I was afraid of being left without money.

I’ve never really had that fear.

But for a long time, I lived with this belief:

“The universe will send it to me. God will provide.”

I’ve lived that way for most of my life.

But it doesn’t always work like that.

As they say:

“Trust in God, but do your part.”

And I’m not the same person anymore.

Now I see structure.

I respect money more.

I understand responsibility—especially when you live in an expensive city, far away from your home and your parents.

I understand the seriousness of what is happening around me, so I can’t treat money quite as casually as I once did.

Now I have structure and financial planning.

And that’s a wonderful thing.

If I had developed that structure earlier, I probably would have become successful even sooner.

But I didn’t.

I developed it now.

And thank God, I’ve grown financially—but most importantly, I’ve grown mentally.

And this is what I want to tell you:

It is incredibly important to give yourself the life you dream about, regardless of how much money you make today.

Your dream life can absolutely begin today.

The moment you move the source of your happiness from the future into the present, everything changes.

First comes the state. Finances come second.

What does that mean?

It means that first, you need to give yourself the feeling of your dream life—right now, today.

You can imagine that you are already living your ideal life.

You want a car?

Then start feeling like a confident, free woman behind the wheel.

You want beautiful jewelry?

Then imagine yourself already wearing it.

Feel its weight.

See its shine.

You manage money?

Then feel your power over money—not money’s power over you.

You don’t depend on a man?

Then breathe deeply like an adult, self-sufficient woman who isn’t afraid of the world because she knows her own value—and knows that her value can be transformed into money.

That is an incredible state to live from.

I’m thirty-six now.

But about eleven years ago, when I was writing my first lists of dreams, most of my dreams were material.

I wanted breast surgery.

Access to excellent cosmetologists.

Financial support from a man.

A permanent move to Moscow.

Thank God, I’m in a very good period of my life now.

Back then, I dreamed about things that I could actually give myself through intention, hard work, and knowledge.

So I focused.

I gathered information.

I moved to the capital.

I worked hard.

I healed psychologically after my first relationship.

I found a different kind of relationship.

I had the surgery.

And many other things happened.

It was incredibly difficult and full of obstacles.

But I never lost faith in myself.

I wrote about this in my first book, Whole.

Everything I achieved became the result of my own hard work.

As long as you keep hoping for “maybe somehow it’ll work out,” as long as you want to shift responsibility onto a man, a boyfriend, or your parents—you are giving away your own power.

Yes, you can absolutely be in a relationship where a man takes care of you and supports you financially.

There is nothing wrong with that.

But hoping that someone else will build your life for you is a mistake.

Don’t wait.

Take responsibility for your own life.

When you free yourself from the responsibility to act, you make a huge mistake.

You push your real dream further away.

The moment I stopped shifting all the responsibility onto someone else, I understood:

I have to do everything that is within my power.

And everything else?

Life will take care of.

I do everything I can.

I work on my project.

I enjoy myself.

I live.

I work on my mindset so that I can do all of this with pleasure, so that I can find joy in the process.

And my life has become incredibly enjoyable while I’m living it.

I don’t live in the future thinking:

“When I start earning more, I’ll be happy.”

“When I build a big business, I’ll be happy.”

“When I move, I’ll finally be happy.”

Most days, I can stay home.

I can do household chores.

Work on my project.

Write books and methods.

Edit my website.

Host livestreams.

Learn English.

Come up with article ideas.

But I don’t experience work as something heavy.

I’ve changed my relationship with work.

I chose, from all the possible jobs in the world, the one I actually enjoy doing.

And I do it consistently.

I understand that I’m willing to do it for as long as it takes—until I find tools that automate the processes and income streams that can work for me automatically.

And once I automate those things, I’ll move on to something else.

Because life should be lazy, dynamic, and active—all at the same time.

If you have no energy, ask yourself where you’re pouring it.

Because you do have energy.

A lot of it.

People are afraid they won’t be able to handle their own energy, but you need to protect it, accumulate it, and direct it toward your own growth, your projects, and your work.

Your energy should be incredibly valuable.

Because your greatest resource is you.

And you have to stop thinking that happiness is somewhere out there.

That someone else will bring it to you.

No.

I understand how unique and incredible I am as a person.

And that awareness gives me a deeper understanding of the richness of life.

There is no person in this world who can take an unhappy version of me and magically make me happy.

But there are people with whom I will feel amazing.

And there are people with whom I will feel nothing—or feel terrible.

And I choose those people.

But my happiness?

I build that myself.

A state of happiness is my choice.

Instead of choosing suffering, I choose to be happy.

And everything else grows out of that choice.

When I look at my old dreams, most of them were about material things.

There were very few dreams about how I wanted to feel.

Now, most of my dreams are about states of being.

I want to feel healthy.

I want to feel safe.

I want to feel needed and useful.

I want to feel happy.

And those are our true dreams.

Because material things—when you finally have beautiful jewelry, for example—are wonderful.

But they don’t fundamentally change your life.

They simply reinforce my belief that I’m on the right path.

They’re another piece of evidence that I’m moving in the right direction.

They enter my life as something normal.

I don’t have to spend my entire life dreaming about them and asking:

“Why does someone else have this, but I don’t?”

You can have all of it.

But it won’t fundamentally change who you are.

In fact, if you believe material things will make you happy, it can be incredibly painful when you discover that they don’t.

That realization can break you.

So, in order to remove the blocks in your subconscious and allow it to show you the ways to realize your potential, you first need to feel how abundant you already are.

How powerful you already are in this world.

Only then can you fully bring that potential into reality.

And the moment I realized:

“Oh my God. I really am an incredibly rich person.”

—I understood that I am rich because I am not afraid to give.

For example, I often go to church, and I can easily give my belongings to people who need them.

I can let things go.

I don’t become attached to possessions.

I can give money to people close to me when they need it.

I’ve always been this way.

Even when that money was almost all I had left.

And because of this, I know that if a problem appears in my life, I will find a way out of it.

If you don’t know how to manage money, that’s simply a skill.

And skills can be learned.

But first, I realized that I am mentally rich.

I have an enormous amount of trust.

An enormous amount of warmth.

Light.

Love.

Through my state of being, I carry the happiness I need.

All the things I once searched for in other people—care, support, love—they already exist within me.

And in order to enjoy my life, I simply need to take care of my state.

When I’m in a healthy state—when I don’t have destructive habits, when I don’t overeat, when I sleep well, when I feel good in my body—I am a happy person.

And from that state, I can earn money.

I can create.

I can help.

I can make art.

I can love.

And a simple bird can make me happy.

A glass of water.

A ray of sunlight.

But imagine being a billionaire while still being unhappy.

Imagine having everything and still feeling no love, no harmony with yourself, no connection with God, no sense of being truly healthy and alive.

You start believing that everyone wants something from you.

And then you begin holding onto whatever energy you have left, simply trying to survive.

You clench it in your fist.

You hold on.

Instead of relaxing.

Instead of letting go.

Instead of trusting the world.

Relax.

Let go.

Trust.

And when you do, that energy begins to flow toward you again.

Endlessly.

8. If Your Dream Is to Do Nothing, the World Won’t Give You That Dream—Because It Would Destroy You

You want to get married so you don’t have to do anything.

You want a lot of money so you don’t have to do anything.

You want to win a million so you can lie on the couch and never get up again.

You want to meet the right person, make some amazing deal, or find a job where you can make a lot of money without having to work too hard, sweat, struggle, or shed any tears.

You want a partner who will save you—someone who will come along, take you by the hand, pull you out of the swamp you’re stuck in, and carry you into a beautiful life where all you have to do is enjoy yourself, bloom, and thrive.

You want to skip all the mistakes.

Skip the painful life experiences.

Skip the dirt, the falls, the scraped knees, and the nights spent crying hysterically.

You want the world to suddenly act like a kind magician and teleport you into something perfect—into a protected little greenhouse where everything is already prepared, everything is beautiful, and everything has already been decided for you.

I used to be like that.

But let’s be honest.

What happens when a person is given these perfect greenhouse conditions?

Look at wealthy families where a child has never had to worry about money.

Money simply isn’t a problem.

There is food.

Clothes.

A home.

Cars.

Education has already been paid for.

So what problems are left?

Different ones.

But they aren’t any easier.

“I don’t know what the meaning of life is.”

“I don’t know what my value is.”

“Why do I even exist if I already have everything?”

Very often, these children fall into addictions and destructive behaviors—drugs, alcohol, gambling, sex.

Very often, they develop cruel or disrespectful attitudes toward other people because they don’t know what empathy is.

They don’t know what it means to struggle.

They don’t know how to value friendship because friendship isn’t about genuine connection—it’s about status.

And eventually, they can end up completely alone.

Despite all the money.

All the houses.

All the opportunities.

That’s painful.

It isn’t a gift from fate.

It’s a curse disguised as good fortune.

The world is wise.

It knows what you truly want, even when you won’t admit it to yourself.

And if you don’t reconsider your dreams, they may not come true.

And that’s not punishment.

It’s protection.

If you want money—lots of money—or a man who will give you lots of money so you never have to do anything, it may not happen.

Because that’s not really a dream.

It’s deadly poison in beautiful packaging.

At first, everything may look perfect.

But eventually, the inevitable happens:

The End.

And it happens because of your doing nothing.

You need to find something you genuinely choose to do.

Something you do with pleasure.

Something that puts fire in your eyes.

But you also need to see money as a tool—a way to do that thing you love more freely.

A way to stop fighting for survival.

A way to stop spending all your time and energy simply trying not to starve.

The intention should be something like:

“God, help me focus my energy and attention on the things I truly want to do. On the things I love. On the things that make me wake up with a smile.”

But first, you have to find what you actually want to do.

Otherwise, you won’t get what you’re asking for.

Because nothing is simply handed to us for no reason.

And thank God for that.

If the world gave you exactly what you asked for when you said:

“Give me lots of money so I never have to do anything,”

—it could destroy you.

With nothing to do, you might become addicted to drugs, drink yourself into oblivion, smoke yourself into ruin, and slowly empty yourself both internally and externally.

Do you understand?

You could lose yourself completely.

Because a person without purpose, without meaning, without movement is no longer truly living.