Stop. Dont Repeat My Mistakes. My 31 Honest Pieces of Advice

And here is what is very important to realize: life transforms and truly begins to develop and change the moment your subconscious, your deep inner self, realizes that radical changes, whatever they may be, do not determine the fullness of your life. After all, it, your life, is already packed, already full, if you allow yourself to feel it. I have lived my whole life as though I have a lot of money. It is not about luxury, but about a sense of freedom. People used to ask me, "You are beautiful, but what about an un-beautiful woman?" It sounds funny, but in reality there are no beautiful or un-beautiful women; there are well-groomed and neglected women, there are radiant/cheerful/kind women and dark/sad/angry ones. And a man's serious choice is choosing us for our inner state, not for our beauty. There is an association that "being beautiful" means being dependent, being an ornament for a man who provides. But I always lived like an "un-beautiful" woman in the sense that I never banked solely on my looks, never waited for someone to hand me life on a silver platter. I live in such a way that even when I was in great relationships, I always looked for ways to earn money on my own. Not because I feared being left without big money, I never had that fear. But I was always under the illusion: "The world will provide, God will provide." I lived like that my whole life. But it doesn't always work that way, as the saying goes, "Trust in God, but row to shore." And today I am not like that: I see structure, I respect money more, I understand responsibility, especially when you live in an expensive city, far from home, from your parents. I understand the full gravity of what is happening, which is why I cannot treat money completely lightly. Now I have a planning structure inside me, and that is wonderful. If it had appeared earlier, I would have been even more successful. But it wasn't there, it has appeared now, and thank God, I have grown financially, but first and foremost, mentally.

Realize this deep psychological truth: a sharp surge in income does not bring lasting, euphoric happiness. Psychological research clearly confirms what I arrived at through personal experience: a few months after a financial leap, the brain adapts to the new level of consumption, the sharp joy fades, and the emotional baseline returns to its previous mark. If you did not allow yourself to relax and rejoice on a modest budget, millions in your account will not automatically make your heart flutter with happiness. Money merely expands the scale of your opportunities, but it is powerless to rewrite your inner sense of self if fear of being left with nothing reigns inside.

Change begins not at the moment your account is topped up, but when you give yourself honest permission to be happy right now. A whole woman does not wait for an ideal tomorrow. She learns to care for her psyche just as she does for her body: she notices exhaustion in time, gives herself rest, solitude, or turns to a specialist when she feels she cannot handle it on her own. There is no weakness in this, it is a manifestation of feminine maturity. All the stages, every difficult period, and every profession you go through are not mistakes, but necessary fragments of your unique mosaic.

I remember once when a friend and I were walking through the summer capital, laughing, and started dreaming out loud, painting our desires in detail. I felt it through my entire body then and said: on the fifteenth of October, I will be having dinner with my man by the ocean, and it will be deep and real. It was not an empty fantasy, it was an intention sent straight from the heart. Just a couple of weeks passed, and a man entered my life who immediately stated his intention to build a family. Everything spun forward swiftly: days together, being introduced to his world and his family, who welcomed me like one of their own. When you stop clinging and trying to prove your worth, your feminine energy attracts the best.

There were plenty of moments in my life when everything collapsed and grew painful. But it was faith in God that helped me not to give up. I asked for wisdom and strength, and felt that I was not alone. Whichever practice you choose, prayer, meditation, or time in silence, do not let the bustle drown out your inner voice. Ask yourself honest questions, check whether you have strayed from your path and begun living by other people's expectations. Wholeness teaches you to hear yourself and lean on spiritual strength.

And here is what I want to say: it is very important to give yourself the life you dream of, regardless of what your income is today. Your dream life can absolutely be yours right now, today. As soon as you shift the cause of your happiness from the future into the present, everything changes. Your state is always primary, and finances are secondary. This means you must give yourself that dream state, right now, today. You can imagine that you are already living your ideal life. I want a car, meaning, I already feel like a driver, confident and free. I want jewelry, meaning, I already wear it in my imagination, feeling its weight and brilliance. I manage money, meaning, I already feel my power over it, rather than its power over me. I do not depend on a man, meaning, I am already breathing fully as a grown, self-sufficient woman who is not afraid in this world, because I have value, and that value translates into money. It is an incredible state to be in!

I am thirty-six years old now. But back then, about eleven years ago, when I was writing my first lists of dreams, I dreamed mostly of material things: breast surgery, access to great estheticians, financial support from a man, moving to the capital permanently. Thank God, I am in a good period in my life now. Back then, I dreamed of things I could give myself, through intention, labor, and knowledge. I stepped up, focused, gathered information, moved to the capital, worked hard, healed my psyche after my first relationship, found that kind of relationship, had the breast surgery, and did so much more. It was very difficult and thorny, but faith in myself never left me. I wrote about this in my first book, *Whole*. All of it was the result of my hard work.

As long as you rely on pure luck, as long as you shift responsibility onto a man, a boyfriend, or your parents, the law of attraction does not work. Yes, you can be in a relationship where a man takes care of you and supports you financially, and that is normal. But hoping that someone else will do it for you is a mistake. Stop hoping; take everything into your own hands. When you relieve yourself of the need to take action, you make a terrible mistake. It pushes your real dream further away from you. The moment I stopped passing off all responsibility, I realized: I have to do everything within my power. Life itself will handle the rest. I do everything I can: I work on my project, I take pleasure in life, I live, and I tune my mindset so that I truly love the process and find joy in it. Along the way, my life began to bring me immense pleasure. I do not live in the future, thinking, "When I have an income, I will be happy; when I have a big business, I will be happy; when I move, I will be happy." Most days, I can stay home, take care of household chores, work on my project, write books and methodologies, edit the website, stream, learn English, and come up with articles. Yet I do not take work as a heavy burden. I changed my attitude: out of all possible kinds of work, I chose the one I genuinely enjoy doing. And I do it consistently, knowing I am ready to do it over the long haul, until I find the tools to automate the processes and create income streams that will work for me on their own. Once I automate them, I will turn to something else, because life should be lazy, dynamic, and active all at once.

When my income first skyrocketed, I genuinely expected an internal switch to flip, instantly launching me into some transcendent, cosmic dimension of existence. But my underlying state did not shift by a single iota. It turned out that money changes the scale, but it does not change the quality of how you experience the moment. I realized the most essential thing: I had never denied myself basic pleasure, even when I was counting my last rubles through my fingers. If I wanted a morning coffee in a beautiful place, a massage, an unhurried breakfast with friends, or a warm dinner, I simply went and did it; only the frequency changed. Happiness does not arrive with the zeros in your bank account. It is born the second you allow yourself to feel abundance right now, in the very body and circumstances where you are.

This same internal state also dictates who ends up by your side. For a long time, I witnessed a foolish stereotype: that a visible, self-actualized woman is either looking to be kept or is carrying everything entirely on her own, running herself ragged. But the truth is different. I remember walking with a friend down a hot summer street, laughing and beginning to speak our boldest desires out loud. Right then, straight from my body, from the deepest part of my heart, I declared that on October 15, I would be dining by the ocean with my man. It was not a dry fantasy, it sounded like absolute internal readiness. A couple of weeks later, a mature, successful man came into my life and offered me a serious relationship. We soon moved in together in the center of the capital, and his family welcomed me like one of their own. But this did not happen out of pure luck; it happened because my feminine energy had stopped clinging, begging, and trying to prove itself.

Of course, this path was not a smoothly paved road. There were moments when I lost myself in my partners, staying silent when everything inside me was seizing up and I wanted to scream and weep from loneliness. I went through futile attempts to be accommodating, "proper," and fitting just to earn love. Yet each time, walking through the pain, I returned to myself. You do not need to break yourself or become someone else to be loved. You are already worthy of everything by right of birth. And when you stop betraying your own reactions, your body relaxes, and the suffocating fear of failing to meet others' expectations gives way to pure power.

All our resets, our illogical decisions, our relocations, our search for ourselves, and even our missteps are not system failures; they are precious pieces of a single mosaic. Today, at thirty-six years old, I can say honestly: I am Ulyana, and I am WHOLE. Being yourself is neither terrifying nor shameful. Being yourself is the only true beauty. Trust this movement, stop putting off life until tomorrow, take responsibility into your own hands, and simply keep moving forward. Everything will surely fall into place.

If you have no energy, think about where you are draining it. After all, you have plenty of energy. People are afraid they will not be able to handle it, but you need to protect your energy, build it up, and direct it into your self-realization, into projects, into work. Your energy must be very expensive, because your primary resource is you. Stop thinking that happiness is out there somewhere, that someone will bring it to you. No. I recognize what a unique, remarkable person I am, and that is precisely what gives me an understanding of the depth of this life. There is no one in this world who can turn me from an unhappy person into a happy one. But there are people with whom I feel wonderful, and people with whom I feel indifferent or bad. And I choose those people. Yet I build my happiness myself. The state of happiness is my choice. Instead of suffering, I choose to be happy, and everything else flows from that choice.

I look at my old dreams, and they were mostly tied to material things; very few were about my state. Today, my dreams are predominantly about my state: feeling healthy, feeling safe, feeling needed, useful, and happy. These are our true dreams, because material things, even when you get jewelry, which is wonderful, do not fundamentally change anything. They simply reinforce my faith in what I am doing, serving as one more piece of evidence that I am on the right path. And they enter my life as the norm. You do not need to dream exclusively about them, wondering, "Why does someone else have it, and I don't?" You can attain all of it, but it will change nothing. On the contrary, if you believe that material things will make you happy, it will be deeply painful to realize they do not. That can destroy you. Therefore, to remove the blocks from your subconscious and open the paths to realizing your potential, you must first feel just how rich and influential you are in this world. Only then can you bring it into reality. And as soon as I understood: "My God, I truly am a very rich person." I am rich because I begrudge nothing.

For example, I often go to church, and I can easily take my belongings to those in need; I part with them easily. I do not attach myself to things. I can give money to loved ones who need it. I have always done this, even when, in the past, it was nearly my last money. That is why I know: if a problem already exists, I will find a way out of it faster. If you do not know how to manage money, that is merely a skill; it can be learned. But first, I realized that I am a very rich person mentally: I have an abundance of trust, warmth, light, and love. Through my state, I carry the happiness I need. And everything, the care, the support I once sought in others, is already inside me. To enjoy life, I simply need to tend to my state. As soon as my state is healthy, no bad habits, no overeating, sleeping soundly, and feeling good, I am a happy person. And from that state, I can earn, create, help, make art, and love. A simple bird, a sip of water, a single ray of sunshine will bring me joy. But if you are a billionaire and unhappy, feeling no love, no harmony with yourself or with God, feeling unhealthy, you will think that everyone wants something from you, and you will start clutching onto whatever energy you have left just to keep from dropping dead. You hold onto it, gripping it tight in your fist, instead of relaxing, letting go, and trusting this world. Relax, let go, and then that energy will pour in as an endless stream.